Latest / Real Life Theology Podcast / Hard Conversations Require a High View of Scripture | Tina Wilson
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome back everyone to the Real Life Theology Podcast. Today's episode features
- 0:05Tina Wilson talking about how hard conversations require a high view of
- 0:11Scripture. I hope you enjoy this episode.
- 0:29Hello everyone. It's good to see you guys today. My name is Tina Wilson and
- 0:36alongside my husband I am a church planter and a Bible teacher and I serve
- 0:41my local church in many different capacities, and one of those is women's
- 0:45ministry. So basically I am a ministry person. We have a lot of ministry people
- 0:49here today, right? That's our primary audience, okay? Well I don't know about
- 0:53you guys, but I feel like ministry oftentimes just revolves around hard
- 0:59conversations, which is what we're here to talk about. How do we have these hard
- 1:03conversations? If it's not my husband and I having to engage in a hard
- 1:07conversation, then it's us coaching someone else about how to have a hard
- 1:11conversation, or maybe we're mediating between a hard conversation in other
- 1:15parties, or we're just prayerfully preparing for the next hard conversation
- 1:19that we know we're going to have to have, right? So just show of hands in here, how
- 1:23many people have had to engage in a hard conversation just in the last month?
- 1:29Right, ministry people. The truth is if you didn't raise your hand you might be
- 1:34avoiding the next hard conversation you know you need to have. Is that true? Maybe.
- 1:38Well I want to give you just a couple snippets from hard conversations I've
- 1:42had to have in just the last few months, and I'm sure you'll identify with many
- 1:46of these. Here's one. Hey sister, did it occur to you that maybe the sermon
- 1:52wasn't being directed at you, but the Holy Spirit was speaking to you through
- 1:56the sermon, right? Or here's one. Hey friend, wouldn't it have been more
- 2:02appropriate if you had an issue just to come and talk to me instead of going
- 2:06around to lots of other people and gossiping about me? Here's one. Oh this
- 2:11was hard. Hey man, did you ever consider how shunning a young girl along with
- 2:17other women in the church could be damaging when she's someone you should
- 2:21have been discipling? Here's one. If you've read Christian Convictions in the
- 2:27Real Life Theology series you know this one. Hey family, just because we don't
- 2:31agree on that one issue it doesn't mean we can't have fellowship together, right?
- 2:36This was a hard one. My friends, maybe have you considered that the reason
- 2:42you're experiencing this kind of grief and strife in your life is because
- 2:45you're living in a way that Scripture says invites God's curses and not His
- 2:50blessings. That's hard. And I'll tell you this has been one of the hardest ones
- 2:55I've had to have recently. Listen, it's been trial by fire getting ready to come
- 2:59and talk to you guys about this today, but here's one. Oh where is that family?
- 3:03Well here's the thing. Our elders have encouraged them to go and find a new
- 3:07church home where they can align with leadership and promote unity within this
- 3:11church body. That's hard. So these are just some hard conversations I've been
- 3:16having to deal with in ministry, and I've identified the thing that makes them so
- 3:19hard is feelings. Because everyone in a hard conversation feels some kind of way,
- 3:25right? Like when someone came and accused my husband of preaching sermons
- 3:29that were targeting her, she felt offended, and I felt exasperated. Like
- 3:33really? That's what you think about this? When someone went around our church and
- 3:38gossiped about me and my family to multiple people, they felt justified, and
- 3:43I felt hurt. And when an older woman in our church shamed a teenage girl, she
- 3:48felt self-righteous, and the girl just felt embarrassed. And so here's the
- 3:53problem with hard conversations. Get this. Feelings can get in front of facts
- 3:58and cause fractures in the church family if we're not building on a solid
- 4:05foundation that's going to keep the house from cracking. And that's the
- 4:09foundation we're going to talk about. Because the more I have to have these
- 4:12hard conversations, the sicker I get of the phrase, I just feel like. Because we
- 4:17just become so ruled by feelings and hard conversations, and that doesn't need
- 4:22to be the ruling factor. We have to consider one another's feelings,
- 4:27certainly, right? Because that's an expression of love for one another. But
- 4:32when feelings start to hinder realization of wrong and repentance
- 4:36from sin, man, that's when we've got to throw off the emotion and seek the mind
- 4:40of Christ so we can have these discussions. So let me just read to you
- 4:44to open us up from the prophet Isaiah in chapter 55, starting in verse 8. God says,
- 4:50For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares
- 4:54the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than
- 4:58your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come
- 5:02down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it
- 5:06bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the
- 5:10eater, so is the word that goes out from my mouth that will not return to me
- 5:14empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent
- 5:18it. We know this. We don't naturally think, act, or respond in the way that
- 5:23God would because we don't think like God, right? His thoughts are so much
- 5:26higher. And yet we have his word so we can certainly know how God would think,
- 5:32act, and respond. And in there we have all these instructions and examples for how
- 5:36we should live and how we shouldn't live. And Jesus, in his word, set a powerful
- 5:41example of how to let hard conversations be guided with a high view of Scripture.
- 5:47And I want to dig into the Bible with you in this short time we have together
- 5:50and look at this conversation that Jesus had. So on the very day that he
- 5:56resurrected from death, we're in Luke 24, Jesus is walking down the road with two
- 6:02disciples making a seven-mile journey on foot from Jerusalem down to the village
- 6:06of Emmaus, and he engages a hard conversation with a couple of disciples.
- 6:12They don't recognize him. They don't know that they're talking to Jesus. And so
- 6:15here they are telling Jesus how their leader, who was a prophet, powerful in
- 6:20word and deed, had been turned over to the elders and the chief priest, and he'd
- 6:24been sentenced to death and crucified. And listen to what they say about him in
- 6:28verse 21, but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.
- 6:34Now get the feelings that are being felt in this hard conversation. They're
- 6:40grief-stricken, they're despondent, they're hopeless, right? This is hard. But
- 6:45then they say this to Jesus, who they still don't recognize, verse 22.
- 6:51In addition, some of our women amazed us. We went to the tomb early this morning,
- 6:56but they didn't find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision
- 7:00of angels who said he was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb
- 7:04and found it just as the women had said, but they didn't see Jesus. So what are
- 7:08they feeling now, right? Confused, maybe doubtful, maybe hopeful. There's just all
- 7:13these feelings swirling around this hard conversation, and I want you to look at
- 7:17what Jesus does. He cuts through the feelings, and he states the facts, but he
- 7:24does not do it in the way that I would have ever expected. And maybe you
- 7:27wouldn't have expected him to react this way either. Here's what he does in verse
- 7:3125. He said to them, how foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the
- 7:37prophets have spoken. Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then
- 7:42enter glory? And beginning with Moses and the prophets, he explained to them what
- 7:47was said in the scriptures concerning himself. Please don't miss what just
- 7:51happened, okay? This is Jesus who is walking down the road with some
- 7:57disciples who are telling them how Jesus is dead, all right? And this is the same
- 8:02Jesus who had opened the eyes of physically blind people during his
- 8:06ministry over the past three and a half years, and he certainly could have opened
- 8:10the spiritual eyes of these guys with just a couple words, like maybe here, I am,
- 8:15right? But that's not what he does. Do you see this? He elevates scripture. That's
- 8:23the approach he takes. He has a hard conversation with a high view of
- 8:27scripture, and he sets this example for us. Now I want you to think about the
- 8:33hard conversations that you've had to have, because we're going to have some
- 8:35discussion time to talk about those later. But all you ministry folks, I bet
- 8:40if you are having hard conversations, they probably fall into one of three
- 8:44categories. Hard conversations about lifestyle, about loss, and about doctrine.
- 8:51So what does this look like? You're ministering to someone, and you have to
- 8:55address a sin issue, where they're not walking rightly with the Lord, right?
- 8:58That's a lifestyle conversation, and it's hard. You're walking in sin. That's hard
- 9:04to say to someone. Or maybe it's a loss conversation, where you're having to
- 9:08address a tragedy that someone who you're ministering to has experienced,
- 9:12and then the faltering faith that sometimes comes with loss. Those are very
- 9:17hard talks to have. Maybe it's a doctrine conversation, where someone you're
- 9:21ministering to is understanding, interpreting, applying a biblical text in
- 9:26a different way than you are, and you're seeking to find some unity with those,
- 9:29and those are hard conversations. But here's what's so great about what Jesus
- 9:34does here as he's walking down the road to Emmaus. He has this hard
- 9:37conversation, and I think that there's an element of all three of these hard
- 9:42conversations in this one discussion that Jesus has. I mean, think about it
- 9:47like this. Is it a lifestyle conversation? Well, these guys are walking
- 9:52with the Lord physically, but they're telling the Lord that the Lord is dead,
- 9:55right? So they're not spiritually walking right with the Lord. It's absolutely a
- 10:01loss conversation, because what they're mourning would be the greatest loss in
- 10:07the history of humanity, if it were actually a loss and not a victory, right?
- 10:12Is it a doctrine conversation? Well, certainly, because the women saw that the
- 10:18tomb is empty, and it's the third day, and no one's having a party. So someone has
- 10:24misinterpreted a biblical text and missed the whole point here, right? So
- 10:28all three of these kinds of hard conversations Jesus is having all wrapped
- 10:34up in this one seven-mile walk headed to Emmaus. And I want us to look at a couple
- 10:40of points about how Jesus goes about this to guide our own hard conversations
- 10:46that we engage in ministry. The first thing I want you to notice is that
- 10:50Jesus' way is absolutely not the easy way, because what would the easy thing have
- 10:56been to do? Ta-da! Here I am. Look, I'm alive. It's me. It's Jesus. And that is so
- 11:04relevant, because I think that expecting and claiming or even blaming supernatural
- 11:11revelation as an answer to a hard conversation has become a really common
- 11:15tendency in our society today. Do you see that? If you don't get what I'm talking
- 11:21about, I want to show you an example of it. We're gonna watch just a 30-second
- 11:24video clip. Has anyone seen the show Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay?
- 11:28Right? Okay, if you haven't, here's basically what happens. MasterChef Gordon
- 11:34Ramsay goes into restaurants, and he tells the kitchen staff, the restaurant
- 11:38owner, your business is a mess, and you're serving the worst food I've ever eaten
- 11:41in my life. So we're just gonna watch a short clip where he has done this
- 11:45already, and I want you to watch the response of the restaurant owner to the
- 11:50hard conversation that Gordon Ramsay is initiating. So watch this.
- 11:56He said, how much garlic do you really put in this? And I said, who knows? And then he said, could you get the chicken any drier?
- 12:02Chicken any drier. I disagree with what he had to say about my chicken
- 12:07Carletta. I prayed for months for guidance, and my Carletta sauce is
- 12:13inspired by God. I got inspired by a higher power. A higher power? God. God. I mean that.
- 12:24God made the sauce. I mean, you can't all be there. That's stupid, right? But that's
- 12:31relevant. Like, that's what people do. Let's get real, okay? God did not give
- 12:37this man the sauce recipe. If he had taken the longer route, the harder route,
- 12:42taking time to study Scripture and know what the Bible says, here's what he'd
- 12:45know. That God acts in ways that glorify himself. So unless something about this
- 12:50sauce recipe was intended to lift up Jesus Christ or reconcile people to God,
- 12:54God didn't craft the dish. But there's a hard conversation being had, and instead
- 12:59of engage it and do the work to fix what's going wrong, well I just had some
- 13:03supernatural revelation that told me that that was right. But that's not the
- 13:08example that Jesus set. But this is what we do when we attempt to bypass an
- 13:13abiding commitment to the study of Scripture and all of Scripture, and just
- 13:18claim this Holy Spirit revelation in order to engage a hard conversation.
- 13:22That's not going to be fruitful if that's how we move into these kind of
- 13:26things, because quite frankly, it's a cop-out. So that's number one, is that
- 13:30Jesus' way isn't the easy way. And I want you to look at another thing about Jesus'
- 13:33approach, is it's not the quick way. Let me read to you verse 27 one more time.
- 13:39And beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he explained to them what was
- 13:44said in all the Scriptures concerning himself. So here's Jesus and Luke, and
- 13:48he's gonna start in Exodus and just preach through, right? And he's going to
- 13:53exegete the prophecies all the way from the Old Testament, and that's how he's
- 13:56going to communicate truth about himself in this hard conversation. That's relevant,
- 14:02because I think another error that's made often in hard conversations today
- 14:06is we're just gonna throw a Scripture out with no context. And that's how we're
- 14:10going to deal with it. We're having a lifestyle conversation. Hey man, you're
- 14:13living in a way that is sinful, that is contrary to God's Word. What's the easy
- 14:17no-context answer? Matthew 7 one. Do not judge, or you yourself will be judged,
- 14:23right? Scripture with no context. Having a hard conversation about loss.
- 14:26Where do we want to go? Oh, well, God won't give you more than you can handle.
- 14:29What is that? 1 Corinthians 10 message version? Just a joke.
- 14:36Hard conversation about doctrine. Well, what that means to me is, listen,
- 14:40there's no Scripture we can even twist out of context to make that work.
- 14:44That's just not how we interpret Scripture. Jesus goes all the way back to
- 14:48Moses, and he relies on the authority of Scripture, and that's how he engages this
- 14:52hard conversation. And that's the path that we need to take, all of Scripture
- 14:57into account for every hard conversation that we're called to navigate in ministry.
- 15:02We've got to pull back from the emotion, from all the feelings that make hard
- 15:06conversations hard, and let the authority of Scripture rule. I want to close with
- 15:10this one, what Paul says to Timothy. Somebody already said it earlier today.
- 15:14All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking,
- 15:19correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly
- 15:23equipped for every good work. I told you at the beginning,
- 15:26I've had hard conversations. One was a good friend of mine. She said,
- 15:29I think your husband's preaching sermons that target me. She's offended.
- 15:32I'm exasperated that she's offended. But none of that matters.
- 15:36It doesn't matter how we feel about it. It matters what the Bible says,
- 15:39and what does Paul say? He says, hey, Timothy, hey, pastor, hey, minister,
- 15:44all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting,
- 15:48and training in righteousness. Somebody's going to be offended,
- 15:52so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
- 15:56And I want to tell you, that includes the good work of hard conversations. All right?
- 16:02Thank you for listening to this episode on The Real Life Theology Podcast.
- 16:12Stay tuned with Renew.org for more great content down the road.