Latest / Groove with Portia / Social Media Is Quietly Destroying Relationships

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Social Media Is Quietly Destroying Relationships · Groove with Portia

0:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to Group Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden
0:09
Speaker 1: treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and
0:13
Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative journey
0:15
Speaker 1: where we were exchange laughter of course the best medicine
0:18
Speaker 1: of them all, reflect on cherish memories, Remember that time
0:21
Speaker 1: that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his
0:23
Speaker 1: mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course, discover
0:26
Speaker 1: gratitude while navigating one of the life's hardest challenges lost.
0:31
Speaker 1: So get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer,
0:35
Speaker 1: let's dive in. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Groogle Porsche.
0:47
Speaker 1: I am your host, Porsche Booker and is always don't
0:49
Speaker 1: forget to like, share and subscribe to keep up with
0:52
Speaker 1: all things grew with Porsche.
0:54
Speaker 2: So.
0:55
Speaker 1: One of the things that I shared recently in my
0:57
Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook story if you follow me, is about
1:00
Speaker 1: how it marks nine years this year since I left
1:04
Speaker 1: my TV career in news and one of the things
1:07
Speaker 1: that really stands out to me during that time, if
1:10
Speaker 1: you saw the picture of me, you'll see I have
1:12
Speaker 1: on my blue jacket. When I look at the picture
1:15
Speaker 1: of myself from that time, period. I can see the
1:18
Speaker 1: emptiness in my face. I can see that this person
1:22
Speaker 1: didn't have a relationship with themselves and right and how
1:26
Speaker 1: often is it that we are in relationships with different people, friendships,
1:31
Speaker 1: employers that reflect something that we don't want. But a
1:35
Speaker 1: lot of times the relationship starts with what we have
1:40
Speaker 1: within ourselves. Right. So today I have the honor of
1:44
Speaker 1: being joined by an individual who's no stranger to that.
1:47
Speaker 1: He is a betrayal trauma practitioner and also an intra
1:52
Speaker 1: personal relationship coach. So welcome to grul Portie, mister J.
1:56
Speaker 1: Mister J. How are you today?
1:58
Speaker 3: Thank you? Thank you? I am one wonderful How are
2:00
Speaker 3: your Porsche?
2:01
Speaker 1: Mister J? Every day is great? That ends and why?
2:05
Speaker 1: And you know, mister J, when I read about what
2:08
Speaker 1: you do, you're the second person, as I mentioned, who
2:10
Speaker 1: has been a guest on Group Porsche that focuses on betrayal,
2:15
Speaker 1: trauma and rebuilding relationships with yourself right, because it starts
2:20
Speaker 1: with you. And I'm curious, mister J, when you think
2:23
Speaker 1: about all the different seasons in your life to lead
2:29
Speaker 1: up to where you are today, what part of that
2:33
Speaker 1: journey do you want to hold on to an honor,
2:37
Speaker 1: and what do you want people to recognize and know
2:41
Speaker 1: about the man who was then and who is now?
2:45
Speaker 3: Well, thank you, very good question.
2:49
Speaker 2: And if you ask me that twenty minutes from now,
2:51
Speaker 2: I'll have a different answer, because I always say, we're
2:54
Speaker 2: far more than human beings. We're human involvements. You know,
2:58
Speaker 2: we are Certainly we're not the same person today than
3:01
Speaker 2: we were what months ago, a year ago. We're not
3:04
Speaker 2: going to be the same person today, you know, a
3:06
Speaker 2: couple of years down the road.
3:08
Speaker 3: We are ever evolving.
3:09
Speaker 2: Which is why and I don't want to digress too much,
3:12
Speaker 2: which is why I say all the time, especially in
3:14
Speaker 2: marriages and long term relationships, you gotta continuously build bridges
3:19
Speaker 2: to each other because if not, life has.
3:21
Speaker 3: A way of just tearing couples apar.
3:24
Speaker 2: Not only that, you have to continue to continuously get
3:26
Speaker 2: to know who you are. My standards, my boundaries, my
3:31
Speaker 2: my in so much of me is completely different today
3:34
Speaker 2: than it was just a mere few years ago.
3:36
Speaker 3: And in my spouse, who I've been now.
3:38
Speaker 2: With twenty four years, we constantly have to build those
3:42
Speaker 2: bridges to one another so we can, you know, because
3:45
Speaker 2: what happens is a lot of times life gets busy.
3:47
Speaker 2: You get your job, and then you got kids, and
3:49
Speaker 2: then you you know something, you go to and everybody
3:52
Speaker 2: wants more out of you. You wake up in the
3:53
Speaker 2: morning and you go to work and your boss wants
3:55
Speaker 2: more out of you. And then your kids come home
3:57
Speaker 2: to school and they want more out of you. And
3:58
Speaker 2: then you go to church on Sunday and your pastor
3:59
Speaker 2: wants or it's like, oh, you're stretched in. And then
4:02
Speaker 2: what happens fast forward twenty years. You're sitting on the
4:04
Speaker 2: couch with your significant other, your spouse, your partner, looking
4:07
Speaker 2: at each other when the kids are gone, saying who
4:09
Speaker 2: are you? Because you didn't really, you haven't built those bridges.
4:12
Speaker 2: So I say all that to circle back to your
4:15
Speaker 2: question and say, I have to say it's all encompassing.
4:20
Speaker 2: And I will say this. I say all encompassing proudly,
4:24
Speaker 2: because even though I've been through some pretty horrific events,
4:28
Speaker 2: I always say, it's very hard to love yourself when
4:32
Speaker 2: you hate the things that made.
4:34
Speaker 3: You who you are.
4:35
Speaker 1: Mmm mmmm, that's deep and it's true. I mean, and
4:41
Speaker 1: I love how you really honed in on the importance
4:45
Speaker 1: of taking the time to slow down, right, because you're right,
4:50
Speaker 1: we get pulled in so many directions every day, right
4:53
Speaker 1: with social media. Now, if you've got kids, you're trying
4:57
Speaker 1: to maintain friendships, if you're you're on to also start
5:01
Speaker 1: a new hobby, right, so you're being pulled in so
5:05
Speaker 1: many directions, and the bridges can sometimes get weaker, right.
5:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And I just want to say, speaking of
5:15
Speaker 2: social media, you know, before COVID, I would go around
5:18
Speaker 2: and talk to various schools and the research that I
5:23
Speaker 2: did was, do you know the average team spends about
5:26
Speaker 2: nine hours on social media? Yes? Wow, hours that they're
5:30
Speaker 2: disengaged from themselves, disengage from the world around them, disengaged
5:35
Speaker 2: from family. And it's interesting because nowadays with all of
5:39
Speaker 2: the technological advances, which are great in some ways, but
5:42
Speaker 2: really what it does is certainly I mean, technology is
5:46
Speaker 2: great in a lot of ways because it brings people
5:48
Speaker 2: that are far near.
5:50
Speaker 3: But sadly, it also brings people that are near far.
5:52
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't tell you how many times I
5:53
Speaker 2: have people over for dinner or on the holidays, nobody
5:57
Speaker 2: comes over and it starts with a big hug and
5:58
Speaker 2: I miss you and I love you.
6:00
Speaker 3: Half an hour later, everyd's in the.
6:01
Speaker 2: Living room doing their own things, scrolling social media, not
6:04
Speaker 2: even paying attention. So we can get lost in that
6:07
Speaker 2: whole social media thing. And then what happens is we
6:10
Speaker 2: lose ourselves. We don't even know who we are. And
6:12
Speaker 2: then how in the world you're gonna give yourself to
6:14
Speaker 2: other people or present yourself to other people because you
6:16
Speaker 2: know you don't need social media is wonderful, but you
6:19
Speaker 2: really have to ensure that you are using social media
6:23
Speaker 2: and that social media is not using you.
6:27
Speaker 1: Okay that part, because every day you're flooded and bombarded
6:32
Speaker 1: with difference of opinions. I always love the I call
6:36
Speaker 1: it the when you're pulling your blinds at home, when
6:39
Speaker 1: you're about to go to bed at night to meet
6:41
Speaker 1: social media is that way, the up and down, the
6:44
Speaker 1: up and down. One minute, you'll see the cute little
6:46
Speaker 1: cat videos, then you'll see somebody was diagnosed with cancer.
6:50
Speaker 1: Then you'll see somebody got married, Then you see somebody
6:53
Speaker 1: hit the lottery, then you'll see somebody die. It's a
6:57
Speaker 1: pensilum of so much stuff, right.
7:00
Speaker 2: It is, and our brains were never meant for the
7:03
Speaker 2: technology that we have today. I mean, if you go
7:05
Speaker 2: back to hunter gatherer days, I mean, you take a
7:07
Speaker 2: typical male female.
7:09
Speaker 3: The male went out.
7:10
Speaker 2: And hunted, that was his job, right, and the female
7:13
Speaker 2: stayed and took care of the kids and cooked. We
7:15
Speaker 2: didn't have the six trillion responsibilities that we have today.
7:20
Speaker 3: And on top of that, we.
7:21
Speaker 2: Like to numb, distract, avoid cope with stress by scrolling
7:25
Speaker 2: through social media. And then what happens is our remote controls.
7:28
Speaker 2: Our brains become remotely controlled because really that that algorithm
7:34
Speaker 2: really starts to take over. And like I said before,
7:37
Speaker 2: instead of us being in control of social media, social
7:39
Speaker 2: media is and control of us because we're always searching
7:41
Speaker 2: for that next fix.
7:44
Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to segue a little bit missed
7:46
Speaker 1: today because one of the things I know you talk
7:49
Speaker 1: about is how the relationships that we have with other
7:54
Speaker 1: starts from us, right, the relationship that we have with ourselves.
7:57
Speaker 1: And I'm curious considering that so many young people are
8:01
Speaker 1: spending nine hours on social media every day. I'm sure
8:04
Speaker 1: there's probably some adults who do that while they're at work.
8:08
Speaker 1: How can people start to build a somewhat healthy relationship
8:15
Speaker 1: with social media because it's not going anywhere, right, A
8:19
Speaker 1: lot of us doom scroll throughout the when I heard
8:22
Speaker 1: doom Scroll and I started laughing the first time. But
8:25
Speaker 1: how can we start to build a relationship of some
8:30
Speaker 1: sort where we're not losing ourselves, where we're not sitting
8:34
Speaker 1: on the couch in ten years, like, who are you
8:36
Speaker 1: again saying that to our kids, saying that to our
8:38
Speaker 1: spouse and everybody around us.
8:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, listen.
8:43
Speaker 2: First of all, it's a very good question, for sure,
8:45
Speaker 2: But it's hard to answer that because unfortunately, we live
8:50
Speaker 2: in a day and age where the majority of us
8:53
Speaker 2: needs social media, for example, for our jobs, for our news,
8:58
Speaker 2: for our connections to keep in touch. So it's very
9:01
Speaker 2: easy for me to say, well, you got to limit
9:03
Speaker 2: yourself to two hours every far. I mean, not everybody
9:06
Speaker 2: can do that.
9:07
Speaker 1: It's got to be right.
9:08
Speaker 2: I will tell you something, everything and everything in moderation
9:13
Speaker 2: really for the most part, And you have to tell yourself,
9:16
Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna lie in bed and I'm gonna
9:18
Speaker 2: give myself forty five minutes absolutely doom scroll and whatever
9:23
Speaker 2: you fix you need, you do you. But after forty
9:26
Speaker 2: five minutes, I have to be in control and say
9:28
Speaker 2: I'm done, you know. And I think that's what happens
9:31
Speaker 2: is that people just caught and get caught in this loop.
9:34
Speaker 2: And I mean, come on, we've all done it. I'll
9:36
Speaker 2: be the first one to raise my hand. I get
9:38
Speaker 2: on social media and say I just want to check
9:39
Speaker 2: out the latest AB or C. Six hours later, I'm like,
9:42
Speaker 2: oh my god, my kids are starving. You know that's
9:44
Speaker 2: half a joke. But I'm saying, the time can fly,
9:47
Speaker 2: you know, so you but you really do need to Okay,
9:50
Speaker 2: I'm gonna check my check my email, but you know,
9:53
Speaker 2: give me itself five minutes. You you really have to
9:57
Speaker 2: really be mindful of it, because I'm telling you something.
10:03
Speaker 2: Addiction is simply rewiring the brain, and social media can
10:07
Speaker 2: become our next addiction. As a matter of fact, it
10:09
Speaker 2: probably is for the majority of us.
10:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be curious as far as the studies within
10:16
Speaker 1: the last since COVID around addiction and social media. I'd
10:20
Speaker 1: be curious to see that at some point. And You're right,
10:23
Speaker 1: I think mindfulness we talk about it, right, but what
10:28
Speaker 1: does that really look like for most of us? Are
10:30
Speaker 1: we aware that we've spent six hours on social media
10:34
Speaker 1: when it's now dark outside. You haven't eight since noon.
10:37
Speaker 1: You got laundry, you piled up, you might've left the
10:40
Speaker 1: water running in the bathroom. I mean, just different, perhapsent
10:44
Speaker 1: minded things. And I'm glad you really reinforced that, mister Jay,
10:49
Speaker 1: about being mindful in moderation. Set it. I mean, I
10:52
Speaker 1: set a timer when I'm working a lot of times,
10:55
Speaker 1: especially if I'm editing group Porsches and my other client shows.
10:59
Speaker 1: I said a time for thirty minutes where I have
11:01
Speaker 1: to get up, get up, take a walk, take a break,
11:04
Speaker 1: give myself that breathing room. Because it's so easy, which
11:09
Speaker 1: is crazy and sad. It's so easy to fall into
11:12
Speaker 1: a pattern of doom scrolling looking at this platform, looking
11:16
Speaker 1: at that platform, looking at emails, instead of just pulling
11:20
Speaker 1: back and taking a break.
11:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, and listen, that's not even to mention. I forgot
11:25
Speaker 2: what year it was, but they I think there was.
11:29
Speaker 2: It could have been twenty twenty three, twenty four. I'm
11:31
Speaker 2: not sure there were more online engagements than there were
11:34
Speaker 2: in person.
11:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, probably many.
11:38
Speaker 2: How many times? And again I'll raise my hand. I'm
11:40
Speaker 2: not gonna sit here and think I'm a saint. How
11:42
Speaker 2: many times is our partner, spouse, significant other talking to
11:45
Speaker 2: us and we're mm hmmm hm hm, no eye contact
11:49
Speaker 2: even my kids. I mean, and speaking of kids, this
11:53
Speaker 2: is where it really gets Dicey and Harry because number one,
11:57
Speaker 2: a child's brain is not even formed formed, especially a
12:01
Speaker 2: mail Well, I don't want to get on that. Listen,
12:03
Speaker 2: I'm a guy. But we're all tall children, okay, don't.
12:06
Speaker 2: We don't grow up until we're in our forties or fifties.
12:08
Speaker 2: But that's a whole nother show. But I fall short
12:12
Speaker 2: of this too. I'll be in the middle of looking
12:14
Speaker 2: at social media, my kids will come up to me
12:16
Speaker 2: and I'm and I want to finish this last three
12:18
Speaker 2: seconds of a video whatever. And I don't even give
12:21
Speaker 2: my kids eye contact. And I mean I eventually do.
12:24
Speaker 2: And what message does that send that whatever you're watching.
12:27
Speaker 3: Is more important than what I have to say?
12:29
Speaker 2: I mean, this really screws kids up. And I'll just
12:31
Speaker 2: last thing I'll tell you about social media. I was
12:33
Speaker 2: just reading a study where they said different parts of
12:36
Speaker 2: our brain get associated with different things. Like, for an example,
12:40
Speaker 2: if I hand you a hammer right now, Okay, sure
12:44
Speaker 2: you can do some things with a hammer. You can
12:46
Speaker 2: itcher back with it if you want, you could. I mean,
12:48
Speaker 2: there's things you can, But what's the first thing you
12:49
Speaker 2: think about is Oh what am I pounding with a nail?
12:52
Speaker 2: That's so when they now they're giving kids all these
12:56
Speaker 2: computers in school, so they want them to learn on computers,
13:00
Speaker 2: which is great find and dandy. But when when kids
13:03
Speaker 2: come into this world understanding that computer isn't is a
13:07
Speaker 2: thing for entertainment, then that part of their brain that's
13:11
Speaker 2: of entertainment gets engaged, not the learning.
13:14
Speaker 3: Part of the brain.
13:15
Speaker 2: So so many studies are coming off on you know, listen,
13:18
Speaker 2: this is why you've got to use technology and not
13:20
Speaker 2: let technology, you know, use you. I have no idea
13:23
Speaker 2: how we got on this topic when I'm ana here,
13:24
Speaker 2: that's but you know it.
13:27
Speaker 1: I think it's relevant though, mister Jay, because there's adults, right,
13:32
Speaker 1: there's the new generation that's coming up where that's what
13:36
Speaker 1: they know. Me and me and my me and my
13:38
Speaker 1: boyfriend were eight years apart, and even though we're both millennial.
13:42
Speaker 1: One of the things that came up during a conversation
13:45
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago with friends was how our
13:48
Speaker 1: generation knows how to fix our computers, you know, going
13:53
Speaker 1: into the back, just simple. I can do simple stuff.
13:56
Speaker 1: But this newer generation they don't know that. Because as
13:58
Speaker 1: you've just mentioned their brain is whire entertainment. Yeah, social media.
14:04
Speaker 1: Generation Like. There was a good documentary I think it's
14:07
Speaker 1: called Generation Like. It talks about social media and young
14:11
Speaker 1: people and mental health, and so I think it's relevant, right,
14:16
Speaker 1: and that relationship component, mister.
14:18
Speaker 2: J absolutely, because listen, you and I as adults, we
14:21
Speaker 2: can look at the Joneses across the street and see
14:25
Speaker 2: how they're posting vacation pictures and desserts, and we can
14:28
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, real life is what happens
14:31
Speaker 2: in between posting pictures, right. But you take the average
14:34
Speaker 2: teenager and they're like, you know, seeing makeup and haircuts
14:37
Speaker 2: and vacations, and they're thinking, I want that life. So
14:42
Speaker 2: it's very detrimental. I have my son's going on fifteen
14:46
Speaker 2: next month. He still doesn't have a phone. I mean,
14:48
Speaker 2: obviously I let him get.
14:49
Speaker 3: On social media.
14:50
Speaker 2: I don't wand to you know, be completely clueless, and
14:52
Speaker 2: but I don't let him have a phone because I
14:55
Speaker 2: know that it could become very addictive, very quickly.
14:59
Speaker 3: And Nope, studies come first.
15:02
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I mean, you're not making him Flintstone archaic,
15:06
Speaker 1: but at the same time, you're still setting that foundation
15:11
Speaker 1: of I want you to put your studies first. Entertainment
15:15
Speaker 1: can come later. I don't want you constantly spending a
15:18
Speaker 1: lot of time here because I don't want it to
15:21
Speaker 1: affect your confidence, you know, different things. So I respect that.
15:26
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't get my first cell phone until
15:28
Speaker 1: I was fifteen or sixteen. And back then you figure
15:31
Speaker 1: out I had a flip phone. Remember the Raisors. That
15:33
Speaker 1: was the first phone I had.
15:34
Speaker 2: Uh oh, yeah, you know phone. I thought I was
15:38
Speaker 2: cool walking down the mall with it. But you know,
15:41
Speaker 2: the other thing too, I want want to tell you
15:42
Speaker 2: is that kids nowadays, like especially with my field, I'm
15:47
Speaker 2: very much into interpersonal you know, relationships and interaction and stuff,
15:51
Speaker 2: and you lose out on a lot of I think
15:53
Speaker 2: we're created for human interactions, human touch, human experiences, and
15:58
Speaker 2: when you've got your face and a phone for twenty
16:00
Speaker 2: hours a day, you're losing. Kids nowadays they don't know
16:04
Speaker 2: how to.
16:04
Speaker 3: Interact with each other.
16:05
Speaker 2: So we're losing a very important component to just being
16:10
Speaker 2: human existence.
16:11
Speaker 3: One oh one.
16:12
Speaker 2: So we're moving into some scary times, some very good
16:15
Speaker 2: times in terms of like advances, but some very scary
16:19
Speaker 2: times also in terms of like human development.
16:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a book I think that talks about it's
16:26
Speaker 1: I think it's by Gene Twiny, I think it's her name,
16:30
Speaker 1: where it talks about how some parents have been the
16:34
Speaker 1: recipients of their kids' job applications recently because the kids
16:39
Speaker 1: don't know how to tute them or that, you know,
16:42
Speaker 1: the parents have to be the responsible one. I'm like,
16:45
Speaker 1: what in the world you know? So I get it,
16:49
Speaker 1: I you know. And I think technology and social media
16:53
Speaker 1: have brought us together all over the world, but the
16:57
Speaker 1: same time, there needs to be some checks and balances
17:01
Speaker 1: which have not been there. And then let's not even
17:04
Speaker 1: get on the subject of AI and social media. And
17:08
Speaker 1: we're not going to go there because that's for hold.
17:10
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what.
17:11
Speaker 2: I'll segue now and talk about social media in my field.
17:15
Speaker 2: One of the dangers with social media, and I want
17:19
Speaker 2: to be very careful with my words, is that it's
17:23
Speaker 2: extremely easy to get into affairs cheating because.
17:30
Speaker 3: Because of technology. And that's my you know.
17:32
Speaker 2: So coming back to what I do, I work with
17:35
Speaker 2: I mean, really betrayal, just betrayal, trauma can happen in
17:41
Speaker 2: many different forms. I will say ninety percent of the
17:43
Speaker 2: clients I work with for working on some kind of
17:45
Speaker 2: affair or something.
17:46
Speaker 3: But Portia, I don't have to tell you.
17:47
Speaker 2: We live in a digitized age where you want to shirt,
17:51
Speaker 2: you go to Amazon and the next day you got
17:53
Speaker 2: to shirt. You know, you want a meal, you throw
17:55
Speaker 2: it in the microwaven. Within ten minutes you got a meal.
17:58
Speaker 2: You want a piece of butt, download an app, Within
18:00
Speaker 2: two minutes, you got somebody pulling up your driveway. It's
18:03
Speaker 2: very easy to get into a infidelity, cheat, eating betrayal.
18:10
Speaker 2: So I'm seeing a lot of social media betrayal in
18:16
Speaker 2: my field.
18:17
Speaker 1: M And I mean, and it's sad that social media
18:23
Speaker 1: has made it that easily accessible, right, and that immediate
18:28
Speaker 1: gratification that people were on. I described it as the
18:30
Speaker 1: McDonald's line analogy, right, because you stand and I haven't
18:35
Speaker 1: eight McDonald's in years. The only thing if I do
18:37
Speaker 1: go is I get coffee. That's the only thing. I
18:39
Speaker 1: don't eat, none of the food. But I mean, you go,
18:41
Speaker 1: you stand the line. Now, I don't even think they
18:43
Speaker 1: really have cashiers in there anymore. I think you order
18:46
Speaker 1: from the kiyos, thinky and you get your food and
18:50
Speaker 1: you keep going where you know it's I think that's
18:56
Speaker 1: the sad part that things are so easily excited where
19:00
Speaker 1: you don't have to work as hard to get.
19:03
Speaker 2: Yeah. And on top of that, there was another study
19:06
Speaker 2: that was done where our brains don't like options, Like
19:12
Speaker 2: options is fine, and now it's like, oh my god,
19:15
Speaker 2: you go to the I mean, come on, you go
19:17
Speaker 2: to the movie and listen.
19:18
Speaker 3: I love options.
19:19
Speaker 2: I don't you know, but I think if I never
19:22
Speaker 2: knew about all these options, I would be fine. It's like,
19:25
Speaker 2: you know, you go up to the movie theater. You're like, well,
19:27
Speaker 2: here's some m and ms. You want them with nuts,
19:29
Speaker 2: without nuts when I'm crunchy. You want them with a
19:31
Speaker 2: pop upside your head. You want them orange. It's like,
19:33
Speaker 2: come on, dude, just give me some m and ms,
19:35
Speaker 2: like holy cow. So And that's what social media does too.
19:38
Speaker 3: It's great in a lot of ways.
19:39
Speaker 2: It gives us options, but again it's overstimulating for our
19:43
Speaker 2: minds of social media.
19:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're overstimulated. It causes overwhelmed because you want simple
19:50
Speaker 1: peanut eminems. I don't want Coca cola flavored eminem's. I
19:54
Speaker 1: don't want m and ms that look like butterfingers. Yeah,
20:01
Speaker 1: you just want something simple, and I think to bring
20:04
Speaker 1: things kind of back home. I think when it comes
20:06
Speaker 1: to social media, when it comes to relationships, I think
20:11
Speaker 1: it's it's important to be intentional. Right, Like me and
20:15
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend, we met at a concert. That's how
20:18
Speaker 1: we met. So those of you who never knew our
20:19
Speaker 1: love story, that's how we met. We met at a concert.
20:22
Speaker 1: And it disturbed down with the sickness twenty five years.
20:29
Speaker 1: It's but the thing of it is, like to your point,
20:33
Speaker 1: I think sometimes even in relationships, for people, even though
20:38
Speaker 1: they're happy, they're still seeking more. And it's important to
20:43
Speaker 1: remind yourself of being grateful for what you have, because
20:47
Speaker 1: I have to do that daily, Like I'm grateful for
20:49
Speaker 1: the relationships that I have, the things that we do,
20:52
Speaker 1: the things that we have in common, and even on
20:55
Speaker 1: social media my business, my business, luckily, my business is
21:00
Speaker 1: word of mouth. But I think there it's still intentional.
21:05
Speaker 1: I think that's the key word here with relationships, with
21:09
Speaker 1: social media, with everything, is that intentionality piece and being
21:13
Speaker 1: mindful because it's so easy to get over stimulated, overwhelmed
21:18
Speaker 1: and just not and being kind of paralyzed. I think too,
21:22
Speaker 1: because you're so bombarded every day, right, mister J This
21:29
Speaker 1: has been a great conversation. I never knew where this
21:32
Speaker 1: was going to go, but I just love it. We're
21:35
Speaker 1: going to be wrapping up here soon, but before we
21:38
Speaker 1: can include mister J, if our audience wants to connect
21:40
Speaker 1: with you, if you have any upcoming talks or workshop
21:45
Speaker 1: that they can intend, please let our audience know how
21:47
Speaker 1: they can connect with you and we'll include that in
21:49
Speaker 1: the show notes.
21:51
Speaker 3: I'm also listen.
21:52
Speaker 2: I just want to say real quick, I have the
21:54
Speaker 2: easiest sight on the planet, I think, mister JJ Relationship
21:57
Speaker 2: Coach dot com. But even if people don't want to
22:00
Speaker 2: see me, talk to me, hear from me. I have
22:02
Speaker 2: on a free resources on my website, so just come there.
22:04
Speaker 2: I got lots of videos, interviews, podcasts, all kinds of
22:08
Speaker 2: stuff on relationships, trauma, betrayled trauma, communication techniques, just things
22:13
Speaker 2: that really make living together and interacting with other people
22:16
Speaker 2: more fluent.
22:17
Speaker 3: So MISTERJ Relationship Coach dot com.
22:20
Speaker 1: There you go, everybody, and mister J Relationship Coach dot com.
22:24
Speaker 1: You can also probably just do a Google search as well.
22:27
Speaker 1: You know, Google is your friend, and AI will bring
22:30
Speaker 1: up almost everything about people these days. I mean, they're
22:32
Speaker 1: almost better than detectives, but I'm not gonna go there. Well, everybody,
22:37
Speaker 1: that was mister j your betrayal trauma practitioner that you
22:41
Speaker 1: heard from today on this episode of Group Portia, and
22:45
Speaker 1: that concludes our conversation for today and until next time.
22:48
Speaker 1: Everybody piece and hair grease everyone more than once