Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Why Is Talking About Money Harder Than Talking About Sex?!

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Why Is Talking About Money Harder Than Talking About Sex?! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: It's your host, Cheryl Burke, and I'm joined by one
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: of my favorite Chapter two gals. It's Joan Vosso's from
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Golden Bachelorette.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, Joan, Hi, how are you.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: It's been a long time, A.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Great It's been a while.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I've been following you on Instagram, so I know every
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: day about your life. I'm exactly Today we're talking about
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: one of the hardest topics in any relationship. And no
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: it's not sex. Unfortunately, we're talking money. Our guest today
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: is the host of the Financial Tea podcast and her
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: new book Future Rich Person, The New Rules for Building
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Wealth Even if You're stuck, Broke and that Billionaire Won't
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Text you back, is out May twelfth. That's a long
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: title but means so much. Please welcome Haley Sachs aka
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Missus dow Jo. Okay, so, tell us about your financial literacy.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Did you were you raised by parents who were really
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: good at, you know, investing their money?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: How did you become so great at what you do?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I guess today.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I definitely did not grow up with parents who pushed
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: financial literacy in the household. I grew up with what
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: I call a w SF a Wall Street father. So
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: ID like to say that, I'm like, if Lebron James's
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: daughter couldn't shoot a free throw, he never brought it
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: home with him. And so I grew up like really
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: confused about money, sort of avoiding it, thinking that it
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: wasn't for me, that maybe I lacked this chip inside
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: of me that would make it possible for me to
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: manage finances, and so basically avoided it at all costs.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I'm sure I can relate, but I did.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I was raised with parents who were very like a
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: stingy you know, with money.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: But I feel like we have so much to talk about.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: We have so much to talk about.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: So this podcast is I do part two obviously, and
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: a lot of our listeners are learning basically just how
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: to handle money matters in general, just better the second
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: time around. What is would you say, the number one
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: financial mistake you see most married couples make that can
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: just fast track towards divorce.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: You know, it really starts, Cheryl, before people get married.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: And I see so many couples because I mean, marriage
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: is a legal contract at the end of the day,
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: Like that's what it really should be viewed as. And
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: I just see so many couples sign that contract without
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: knowing much about the other person's finances, about how much
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: depth they have about their relationship with money, about you know,
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: how much they make, how much debt, like just all
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: these really important questions people avoid because they think it's
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: awkward and they want to walk down the aisle. And
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: sometimes we get so focused on reaching that finish line,
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: which I feel like society really does put marriage as
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: like for women, especially this finish line. We got to
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: get there and what it's right within your grasp. You
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: can sort of fool yourself into making a bad decision.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Right Joan, tell me about you. I mean, I mean
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: I know you, but our listeners.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: You know you're you're a widow.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Share your experience, I guess with just taking control of
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: just all the finances after your husband passed.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was kind of crazy, to be honest. I
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: didn't know what the heck I was doing and that
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: was back of that and I go, gosh, how irresponsible
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: to not ever like dive into that part of our marriage.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: But he was really good at it. He was the breadwinner.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I was a stay at home mom for most of
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: our marriage. I worked part time here and there, consulting,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: doing things. But he was the money manager and I
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: did not worry about it. And then he passed away,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: and I didn't prepare myself as he was dying. You know,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: he had pancreatic cancer. He lived for almost two years
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: with that. If I look back at it, I probably
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: should have been more aware, but I was like in
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: caregiver mode. I wasn't in let me, what am I
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: going to do after he passes away. I was planning
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: on him living, so when it happened, I was kind
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: of blindsided, to be honest, And I'm a smart woman.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: I have a degree in computer science, I had gone
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: back to school, I had gotten another degree in interior
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: design and was planning on starting a business right after
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: my last kid. He was a senior in college when
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I was doing this, and then John passed away, and
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, my life had changed. And
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I remember one like really big wake up call. I
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: had a lot, but one like really struck me, and
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: that was American Express. Of all things, you know, we
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: all counted credit cards. They're always there for us. And
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: I went to use my American Express card and it
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: had been canceled and It wasn't because of unpaid bills.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: It was for no other reason that I wasn't the
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: primary card holder and he had passed away, and somehow
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: they figured that out and they canceled my card. And
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: we had been cardholders. We had a huge limit. My
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: husband made a good amount of money, and it was
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: never a question. And then all of a sudden, I
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: didn't have a credit card. It was the craziest thing,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: and I didn't know, so I applied. I then had
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: to apply for the credit card, and I had like
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: a you know, five thousand dollars limit or something. It
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: was something like very kind of appalling, and I had
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: to work way up to it. So I started out
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: as like a like an infant, or like a college student,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: somebody who just came out into the working world. And
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I was fifty eight years old.
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: It was crazy.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: A lot of other wake up calls, including like health insurance.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: So now we don't have a business. My husband's business
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: folded after he passed away. I no longer have a
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: health insurance.
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I was starting like a child, like a person coming
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: out of college. I was starting to know, and I
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: figured I had to figure it all.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: I had no choice.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I had to figure it out, and how how did
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: you do?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Who did you turn to or did you have a
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: business advisor or did you turn to any anyone?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, I didn't have the problem that I didn't have money.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: My husband had life insurance, so I had money. I
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: just didn't know how to use it. And I didn't
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: know how to use it smartly, Like I didn't know
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: what I should be, you know, investigating. I didn't know.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: I was like, I need health insurance, Like how do
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: I go about doing that? As a person I no
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: longer has a business to rely on. Never had that
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: problem before. You know, I needed a credit card. I
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: needed I needed to buy a house by the way,
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: right right right When John got sick, we moved to
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: a townhouse that I rented because I needed an elevator
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: for him. He couldn't go up and downstairs. So I
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: was renting a home. And now all of a sudden,
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: I have to buy a house and I have no
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: credit so crazy stuff. It's not that I didn't have money.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: I had money in the bank.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I had five million dollars of course, right right right.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: And you can't They don't care if you have money
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: to make They care, if you have a credit score,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: if you can pay a mortgage.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Do you run into this a lot, Haley, Like, have
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: you seen this type of scenario?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: This is the common thing. What can people do?
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah? I mean it's so interesting because I feel like
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: a question that I get asked a lot. It's pretty generic,
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: but it's like who's your work for? And I feel
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: like they want me to be like, you know, twenty
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: to thirty year olds like you know, But the truth
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: is that the women that I love helping the most
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: are the ones just like you, Joan, who are starting
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: over and like, those are the stories that mean the
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: most to me and that I get a lot of
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: and look like I'm a bit younger than you. Like,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: even in that generational shift, the women have taken so
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: much more control of their finances. But we have to
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: remember that, you know, we weren't even allowed to have
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: credit cards till nineteen seventy four. Like really, in order
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: to have any upward mobility, you had to marry a man,
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: and you basically went from belonging to your parents to
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: them belonging to someone else. And it was quite the
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: norm to you know, be passive about finances. But yeah,
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: I hear this. You know, what I'm really hearing is
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: that you had a money aha moment, which is something
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: that I talk about in the book, and that could
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: happen to someone. It happened to me in my twenties,
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: but it could also happen when you're fifty eight and
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: your husband passes away, which I'm so sorry, but it's like,
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: you know, whenever that happens, the most important thing, And
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: it sounds like you did this is to hit it
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: head on. But I would say, like to anyone listening,
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: if you're in a relationship and you are in the
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: dark about your finances, a it's very important to have
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: a plan about what happens when your spouse dies. And
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: it's not a sexy thing to think about. But I
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: actually have a resource called the Seven Documents that you
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: Need in Case You Die that you get when you
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: pre order the book, and it has all this information.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: And I feel like no one just ever says to you, like, hey, Joan,
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: like here's what you need. You need a pod for
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: so you can get access to the bank account. You
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: need a todd so you can get access to the UH,
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: to the investment accounts, you need a will do you have,
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: Do you need a trust like, you know, you need
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: to make sure that you're even things like digital responsibility,
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: Like there's a feature on the iPhone that lets you
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: have access to someone's digital life if they pass away,
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: which is like I have a French like who's going
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: through that right now? And it's really hard to like
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: track down everything digitally from the person who's who passed away.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: But it's like, you know, there's a lot of logistics
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: with death, and you were in a great a really uh,
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: you were in a position that I think a lot
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: of people would wish for, which was that you had money.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: But what happens with a lot of people is that
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: they don't know what's going on, and then they're not
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: only are they grieving, but they're also dealing with the
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: fact that they have a lot less than they have
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: or expected, and they're also having to you know, come
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: to terms with that reality.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, surprisingly, like it sounds like I had like
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: a good amount of money obviously did, but I actually
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: went back to work because I felt like I didn't
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: have enough, and I also wanted access to healthcare when
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you're fifty eight like important, and you know, it's like
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: a sad reality, because that's when you're going to start
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: needing it, and certainly my husband did. And so I
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: went and got a job because I thought, well, I
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: don't want to have to just rely on this income
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: that I have, like this investment income. I need to
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: be more proactive about my future. Only fifty eight and
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: this needs to ask me a really freaking long time.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: I'm hoping.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: I love that about you. You just life has just started.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: You know, there really is no it's not too late
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: for anything.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: It's really not too late. And I mean to enjoy
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: you know, you you work your whole life. So so
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: my husband and I worked our whole life. We raised
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: our four kids. We have our last kid in college,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: and like the goal is, like you have resources now
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: you've worked, you've built this life together, and you're going
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: to like travel and by the second house and do
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: all these things. And then all of a sudden he
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: was gone, and all of the stuff that we saved
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: for now was now just going to have to keep
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: me alive, you know, keep me. He was going to
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: continue working, so we were going to have all these
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: great resources. Now, like that income, like the income sort
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: of stopped and now I had to plan for this
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: fixed amount of income that I had never done before.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the dream huge yep.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing back to you, Haley.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Before marrying somebody, what should every couple you think like experience.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Should there be a five year plan? Should there be
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: a retirement plan? Should there be a joint accounts?
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: So I really believe in having a joint account but
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: also having individuals accounts because I just think that it's
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: so important to be able to leave if you need to,
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: even if it's like your dream relationship. Like I share
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: a story in the book of someone who was in
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: a relationship that she thought was her forever and then
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: it really took a turn, and because she had that
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: money on the side versus doubling down on the funds
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: that they had together, she was able to basically save
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: her own life and get what she called a freedom apartment.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: And so for me, I also like, I make my
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: own money, and I really like making my own money,
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: and so I think that like I would just never
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: want to be in a position where I had to
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: ask anyone or justify any of my purchases because it's like,
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: I work hard, I make good money, Like I don't
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: want to have to ask for that. But I do
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: think that like when your life becomes entingled with someone,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: you need to treat it like a business. So it
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: really is about setting up a structure. So what does
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: that mean. It means a you're having money dates. Money
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: is a relationship, and just like any relationship, if you
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: don't spend time with it, then it's never going to blossom.
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: It's never going to get deeper, it's never it's actually
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: going to get worse. Relationship's got a lot worse if
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: you're never together, And so you need to do that
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: with your partner. But I also think there's something so
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: amazing about having a partner financially because it gives you
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: someone to build with and dream with, and not that
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: you can't do that on your own, but I think
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: that like it doesn't have to be something that makes
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: your life smaller. It can actually be something that brings
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: you so much wealth and like helps you expand your
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: financial horizons. But like you need to normalize talking about
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: money and make it something that you do together even
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: when you don't want to.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: Kind Of how soon into a relationship do you think
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: is a good time to have those conversations, because they're
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: super uncomfortable. I mean, if you think about, like why
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: is it easier to talk about sex and it is
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: to talk about money in a relationship. I mean it's
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: it's difficult. I still have a hard time talking to
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: talk about it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: I'm engaged. Wow, Okay, love that, congratulations, thank you. You know,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: I'd say the right time is usually when you're at
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: one of those crossroads, like you know, you get to
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: the point where it's like you're going to move in together,
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: you're engaged, you're getting a dog, like where things get
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: a little bit more complicated, you know. And but the
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: thing is is like whenever you tie your finances to someone,
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: like even if you're not married to someone, but say
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: you're dating them seriously, and so you guys are like, okay,
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: like we should get a credit card together because like
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: then we can you know, use the bonuses to travel
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: and we're always going to dinner together and like this
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: makes sense we have shared expenses. But it's like when
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: you do that, then say that person defaults on the
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: credit card, it's on you. So you never you always
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day go into this life
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: and we leave with one person and it's ourself and
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: a lot of people get confused in relationships and lose
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: that plot, and so you know, nothing is forever, but
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: also exactly nothing forever. Statistically, women outlive men, so it's like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: you know, most women are going to go through some
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: version of what Joan did, where it's like, you know,
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: you have to deal with the consequences of what you've
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: been avoiding.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: That's the key.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: You're gonna have to deal with it at some point,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: so you should really start to think about it.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, deal with it throughout.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: Sure, it happened to you the way that you were
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: agreeing with what you were saying.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: No experience with.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: This, I mean no, not not to that extent. I mean,
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: when I was married, we kept everything separate for the
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: most part, right, So we did start something, but it
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: was like, you know, I wasn't married for very long
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: as you know, so that didn't really mean anything to
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: be quite honest. But yeah, everything was pretty much separate.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: And I mean, yeah, that's all I could say. And
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: that was intentional.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, maybe there was like a part of you
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: that knew it wasn't forever too.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: It's my parents.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: My mom is like, she's a businesswoman, so she instilled
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: all of this in me. And she was raised very
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: very poor in the Philippines and created a business and
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: a life for herself on her own and was raising
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: me as a single parent. And so she has lived
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: every part of life from not having food to you know,
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: obviously now very wealthy.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But that took a lot of work.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: And the one thing that she's always instilled in me
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: since this little girl is just don't ever depend on
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: a man for money period.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: M I feel like we're talking about we have like
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: such good conversations about single women and people that have,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: you know, starting their dating careers together. I am in
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: the chapter of life where like you, you know, maybe
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: have lost a spouse or maybe you're divorced and you're
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: going on too, like your chapter two. And I have
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: a scenario because I certainly have friends that are like
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: kind of dating men and they're in their second chapter
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: of life. What if you're a dating man and he
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: is in after two and he's always had a great career,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: but his ex wife took him to the cleaners in
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: their divorce and now he's back at square one and
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: has wrapped up a bunch of credit card debt. And
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: if you were to make and if you were to
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: make things more serious, would you have to take on
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: his debt? How does that work if you marry him? Yeah,
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: if you marry him.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: It depends what state.
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: It depends on what state. But to me, that sounds
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: like a guy with money trauma.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: That sounds like you should run for the hills.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and someone, yeah, someone, I sort of agree because
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: it's like it's just the way that it was worded.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: It feels like someone who's looking at women as a
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: villain and it's going to maybe want to like get
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: revenge on women just in general from what they went through,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: versus really wants to build like out of a place
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: of integrity.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about money trauma, because it is an actual thing.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's not just it's we're not just throwing
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: that phrase around, right like, because it is like you
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: can live in scarcity like my mom did, and my mom,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I have to say, still does, because she will always
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: feel like she's poor no matter what. Right, Like she
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: will walk by a penny and she will literally pick
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: it up because every penny counts, you know, and like
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: that's just and she's getting older, you know, it's like
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: she's turning even worse into that you know.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: So how can you break that trauma? How can you
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: do that?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: If you like however, like if you were raised with
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: frugal parents, if you're raised with.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: This generational trauma, right, Like it's more psychological, it's like
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: you know psychology, but have you experienced this Hailey?
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah? So Actually in my book Future Rich Person, I
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: start the book. The first part of the book there's
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: four parts, is mindset, and it's called Part one. Face it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Because I can teach you anything about money. I can
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: teach you about index funds, about emergency funds, about debt payoff,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: about investing, but none of what I say is going
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: to stick if we do not identify and fix and
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: work through why and what is the root of your behavior?
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: That is everything. That's what I always say. People say, oh,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: should I get a therapist or a financial planner, and
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: I say therapists, go to the therapist first, work through it,
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: because you know your behavior is going to keep reflecting
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: your self identity. So you need to shift your self
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: identity to be a future rich person if you want
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: to actually take control of your financial life.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: And first you have to heal, right, you have to
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: identify your triggers.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: You have to calm down in the moment. So much
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: of financial like so many financial issues are just I
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: think from like lack of emotional regulation. There's a lot
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: that you need to sort of work through. Uh. It's
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: not that it's impossible, but it's sort of the same
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: for anything like, say you're in bad relationships and you
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: want to get in a good relationship, You'll have to
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: work through the trauma of your past relationships. Say you
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: want to like fix relationship with food. It's not just
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: like going on a diet. Everything everything, everything is you
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: have to get down to the root and take responsibility
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: for yourself.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: I love how the book you read late you talk
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: about your own experiences like so freely and openly, and
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: it kind of like we gain your trust as we
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: read your book. I spent a lot of my weekend
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: reading your book.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: And I love that it's fun to read right Like
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: it's like you actually.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: So, I took all kinds of pictures on my phone.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: I can't read them right now about like like passages
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: that I love that I wanted to like tell my
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: daughter about, and now they really is good.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: You're taught.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like you were talking to a friend and
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I felt like I related, like I knew all those
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: people you were talking about, Like you, you know, you'll
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: give some quotes about or a conversation you had with
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: somebody and you say you and then her, and then
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: you and then her, and I feel like, I'm like,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I know that conversation I had that with my daughter.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: You talked about you know that you didn't feel like
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: you were going to be good at this because you're
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: not a type A personality. Yeah, you have these friends
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: that were type A and they were organized, and you
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: were the person who's going to the bar with your
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: passport because you couldn't find your driver's license.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: And I'm oh, my god.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I called my daughter. I'm like, oh, I just met
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: your like twin. My daughter still doesn't and hasn't for
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: like three years to go to ours. So I felt
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: like to everybody. So I'm just like giving you a
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: plug for your book. It was just so much fun
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: to read. You sprinkled in all this great advice and
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: it was almost like you were giving therapy and financial
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: device mixed in with a bunch of really funny stories.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: I really love that you're giving me so many chills.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: It's like so weird to have the book like being
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: read now, but it's that's exactly what I wanted it
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: to be. Like was where it's like a brownie with
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: spinach in it, where it's kind of yeah, like it's
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: the kind of book that you actually because how many
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: times do we buy a finance book or like a
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: self help book and it's like we never actually crack
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: it because it's like fun. Yeah, it's like I it
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: feels like self punishment to do it, and it's like,
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: I what has made the biggest difference for me? And
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: I would say this, like about changing anything in my
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: life is when I'm able to find a way to
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: make the change enjoyable. And I think that like with finances, yes,
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: there's going to be an element of cutting back and
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: of like choosing your heart when you really want to
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: improve your financial life, but there's also so much possibility.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: And I think especially for you know your audience, people
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: who are really looking to start over and you are
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: both great examples of this, like just the abundance of
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: opportunity and how surprising life can be and how much
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: you can actually shift things and that they are in
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: your control. And like that's why I talk a lot
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: in the book about learned financial helplessness, because especially right now,
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: like economically, you know, the housing market is so messed up,
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: the student loans are so high. Since twenty twenty, wages
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: have increased seven percent, but inflation has increased sixty seven percent.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Like there's so many reasons why not. But the ones
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: who win are the ones who understand that the game
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: was not built for everyone to win. It was actually
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: built by the people who are winning to keep ring.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: But when you learn the rules, which is why I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: wrote the New Rules of Building Wealth, then you too
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: have the opportunity to get a seat at the table,
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: no matter where you're starting from.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I would love that figure out how you figured all
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: this out. You don't have a background in it. You
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: were in media, You had a really cool career that
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: wasn't making you any money, and you looked at your
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: life and you're like, Okay, this isn't working. How the
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: heck do you start this career?
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: How do you become you?
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: Because it seems like such an aspiration that most of
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: us could never even think about.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: It's so funny. It's like the I would when I
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: started influencing was not a thing, and so like everyding, and.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I think that both of us. Yeah, I can say
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: the thing.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And so it's it came from a place of
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: like where I'm patient zero and I needed to help
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: myself and so and I thought in my head, oh okay,
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: there's definitely other people that feel like this, and I
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: wanted to make a difference. But like it really I
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: think that when you create something from your like deepest wound,
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: that's where the magic really comes from. And so like
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: that's how it all happen. But I also think that, like,
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: you know, thank god I never worked in finance, like
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: they think all that. It's like that I that I
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: that I have the career before this that I did,
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: because doesn't that just prove that anyone can do it?
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: Like that's sort of what I try to get across
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: in the book too, where it's like, yeah, I am
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: the girl with the password at the bar. I'm not
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: walking on an incline with my like meal prepped chicken
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: and hair washing schedule. Like I was on a date
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: last week and my haircut on fire, like and I've
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: run a multimillion dollar business.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Girls, Like it's like, how did that happen?
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: Oh? I mean we were leaving over to kiss. There
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: was a little candle. It was I've got extensions.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: In that's not a sign. I don't know what it is.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: That is so funny. I love to see now her
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: book is sprinkled through through the whole thing with these
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: stories like her adderall addiction like I love. I wouldn't
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: be surprised that was vodka right there. I mean, I
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: know it looked like that.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Actually, take a swig. It's past five o'clock, right I know.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm drinking vodka right now. I'm drinking like
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: thirteen dollars water from me.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're just killing it. That takes or
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: at least my mind. I don't know.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: But you're just so relatable that nobody like you don't
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: intimidate us. I don't feel like you have this Harvard
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: degree and you're telling us how to do it in
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: a way that none of us could do it. You
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: are the one that's drinking the vodka in the podcast.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not drink I'm drinking of water.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: But I I but I next time I see you
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: will have a martini. But I but I you know,
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: I love a martini. But I do feel like that
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: that there's you know, there's a lot of financial experts
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: out there that make you feel like you have to
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: be a certain way in order to do this, and
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: it's important for me to be like, no, you just
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: have to be you and like it's actually you don't
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: even you just need systems. Like That's the biggest thing
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: too that I talk about in the book that's been
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: the biggest reason that I've become a millionaire is like
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: automation and you know, also forcing myself sometimes to do
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: shit I don't want to do. Like I say in
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: the book, I have a money date every month. It's
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: really important. I never want to do it. I never
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: want to do it. I forced myself to do it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: But then once I do it, I'm fine. It works.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: It's not a money date, so it's a threat time.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: So money is a relationship. If you don't spend time,
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: you know, with someone or something in a relationship, their
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: relationship is going to go to shit. But most people
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: manage their money off of vibes, like they're avoiding their
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: bank statements. They don't look at their credit card bills.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: They're sort of just like you know, grin and bearing
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: it and swiping it and hoping for the best. They're
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: forgetting about packages that they need to return. There, you know,
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: they have subscriptions they didn't cancel. They're not on top
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: of it.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Descriptions.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it just feels so overwhelming. And I think
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: that it's it is every day something that will weigh
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: on you. So you need to create a system where
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: you have the time set to take care of it,
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: so then you give yourself the freedom and the energy
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: to live your life without that weighing you down. Like
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: it's actually the way to live a better life. And
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: so yeah, it's just set time every month that I
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: review my finances, that I take care of all this
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: great finance. Yeah, I open my mail, Like all the
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: shit that I don't want to do happens then. And
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: once I'm doing it, you can make yourself do anything.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: And you start and you're going and it's not that bad.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: But it's like not that scary. I think people are
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: just scared.
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's not scary at all. And what
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: you realize also too, Like I think that's what's so
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: interesting about this whole idea of like financial dependency for
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: women is like actually, like the most feminine cool thing
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: is the being in control of your finances and having
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: like the power to choose your own life, like being
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: able to like make your own decisions, to say no
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: to shit that doesn't serve you, to buy yourself what you.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Want, to walk away, if you need to walk away,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: you have to.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: Take to travel to like take care of the people
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: that you love. Like this is you're the first generations
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: of women who even had that opportunity. And it's like,
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: I take it so seriously for us to take advantage
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: of that and to embrace it, because you know, the
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: patriarchy doesn't want us to be in control of our
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: finances because it keeps us dependent.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: And if a man feels emasculated because of it, that's
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: not your problem, that's his problem. You know.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: It's funny. I had that conversation with one of my
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: first dates with so Chalka as the person I met
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: on my season of The Golden Bacherette Haley Case who
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: don't know and so he was on one of our
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: first dates on TV on camera. I made a statement
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: about like being financially secure, and I think I mentioned
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: a number to him, and later on in our after
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: we were engaged, he said, why did you tell me
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: about that. Why did you mention that, Like on one of
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: our first days, I said, because I wanted you to
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: know that I didn't need your money and that I
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: wasn't in this for money. And I just put that
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: out right away, and let's just move on from that,
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: because I never ever want to be dependent on a man.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: I had that I was married, and now I'm financially independent,
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: and it feels really good to know that I can
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: get my own American Express now, even though I'm afraid
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: to open the statement up. Pretty much every month that
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: it comes, it sets on my counter like five days.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: But I know that I.
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: Got the app, girl, and then it you have the
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: app and it's in your like digital wallet. It makes
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: it so much easier. But like it's why is it
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: so scary, Like it's like you you're a smart girl,
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Like it's like this is seventh grade math. Like we
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: have been so conditioned, we have been so brainwashed. It
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: is not that hard. It's not that scary. Put on
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: a song you like, you can drink your vodka to
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: the bottle, whatever takes to get there, do it. Because
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: What's scary though, in Jones defense, is like it's just
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: like you know I like to buy stuff.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, tell me about it. I bought all of Sephora
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: during this Sephorest savings event. Just this best.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: You know, it's not so funny the Sephort savings event
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: and everyone is like.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not even that much you're saving.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's something about investment options quickly are luxury goods
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: ever a good idea like Bronzer versus Eschanel bag.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I like I could.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: We fell for the all the Burken stuff?
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Oh I haven't. I haven't done that one yet. I
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: haven't gotten there. I've invested in that.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's they're not in Look here's the thing, Like
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: I sell it. No, So here's my issue with it
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: is there's a lot of like media hype around burkins
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: being as good of an investment as the stock market.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, really yeah.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: Oh my god. It's everywhere where they're like the Birkins
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: will beat the S and P five hundred. And the
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: truth is it's like if you're getting the like Lauren
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: Sanchez special where it's like the most rare ass burkein
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: in Paris and you're like never act actually wearing it
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: and it's hermetically sealed and then you resell it and
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: there's like three of them in the world. Great, you're
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: gonna make a huge return because.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: You sell it.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but also any good that is in demand, that
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: is so scarce and in great condition, is going to
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: hold its value or increase. But the Burkean resale market
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: is flooded with inventory, and you will make some of
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: your money back, for sure, But it's not an investment.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: And I think that it's crazy to have normalized twenty
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: five thousand dollars handbags as this like savvy financial choice,
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: when really that's a fashion choice. And I love fashion,
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: don't get me wrong, but it's it's how you view it.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: If you're getting a burkin because you love it, it's cute,
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: you want to wear it. Great, but it's not. None
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: of these bags are investment pieces. They will maybe hold
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: some of their value, but it's like you're maybe going
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: to hold like fifty percent of the value. I mean,
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: I am very clued into the luxury resale market. I
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: used to flip a lot of bags and like, it's.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: A hole bags, what do you mean, Oh my gosh.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: I would go to Japan, I would go to Paris,
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: I would buy rare bags and then I would well,
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: this would be like if the dollar was really strong
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: in Paris, and I would go and find vintage Chanel
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: bags or whatever, and then I would bring them back.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: It's like fun, so fun, and I love wearing them.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Like it's like I have a fabulous bag collection, and
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: like that's like something that's just like is fun in
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: my life. But it's not something that I look to
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: as a way that I'm building wealth for my future.
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: That's what my stock portfolio is for. So I don't
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: think it's kind of like girl math, Like we don't
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: need to fool ourselves. If we want to get a
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: bag and we can afford the bag, get the bag and.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the bag. Yeah, No need to justify it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: No, No, I don't need to justify it. Some things
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: are just frivolous fun and like I'm I fall for
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: like all the girl stuff, Like you know, I like
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: to get my nails done, I like makeup, I like
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: my hair, I like clothes. Like it's all a pink
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: tax and I don't know, it makes me feel good,
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: it makes me feel calm.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: You can write it off great, yeah, and I write
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: off a lot of it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: Exactly So how about like vintage cars, like if you
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: were I'm aging myself at ja leto, you know.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: It depends on the car. Yeah, It's like, you know,
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: watches can actually be a really good.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Eend Yeah, right, like a Rolex.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, or you know, like a you know what.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Actually, no, my father passed away and he had a
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: few Roles watches, and honestly I didn't even end up
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: selling it because they were giving offering for it.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: So I think it all depends on the asset and true,
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: but you know, the best place to put your money
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: is in the stock market, and like trying to get
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: rich quick in all these other ways is just going
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: to be something that ultimately prevents you from investing to
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: your full ability.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: So can we talk to about something like totally less glamorous?
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: But I know that a lot of listeners are single moms,
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: and right, I mean, how can you remove the overwhelming
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: feeling of saving for your future and your kid's future
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: if you only have one income? It sounds impossible, that's
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: really hard.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: But what I will say is like you have to
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: put your own oxygen mask on first, because kids can
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: take out loans for school, but you cannot take out
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: loans for retirement, and so it's like, you know, sounds
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: awesome to you know, give your kid everything that they
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: want and all these things, but a financial boundaries are
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: so important for children. Teaching them the value of a dollar,
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: showing them what you're working for, and including them in
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: that process I think is like so inspiring. But also,
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: don't prioritize their future over yours, because then you also
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: perpetuate a cycle of in like a family money cycle,
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: where then they will have to do that with their
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: kids because they won't have retirement funds and then they'll
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: have to rely on their kids for it, you know
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: what I mean.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: So break the cycle now, Yeah, break the cycle.
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: You're said than done? Though, isn't it so.
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: Much easier said than done? I think it really depends
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: on your community too. Yeah, it's really hard if you're in,
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: you know, a neighborhood where people are in a different
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: socio economic venue, because then it like puts so much
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: pressure on what's normal. But you know, single moms like
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: that is truly they are doing God's work. Like that
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: is such a hard position to be in. And I
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: just think, like, yeah, you've already given up so much
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: to take care of that child, like, don't give up
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: your future too, you know, And by just taking care
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: of them and getting them out the door and like
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: literally like like that's giving them a huge lag up
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: from everyone else.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and preparing them maybe go to college and then
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: they break the cycle themselves. They go and get a
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: great education and can support themselves. And you're good thinking
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: about being a mom. And I have four kids, they're
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: all grown. I actually got them credit cards, but I
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: know that people talk about getting your kids a credit
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: card so they can start building well some you know,
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: things that I ended up not having. I didn't have
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: any credit and so like do you recommend that or
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: when do you recommend it?
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: At? What age it?
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: Like what is the scenario that that is good?
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so what you're you know, it's so interesting that
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: you asked that, Joone, because like you obviously were someone
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: who really got the short end of the stick for
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: not having a credit history, so you understand firsthand how
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: important it is to really build that credit at a
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: young age. And so what you're talking about is adding
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: someone who's under eighteen to your card as an authorized user.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: And for many credit cards, they have a limit that
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: you could only do this when the child is sixteen,
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: but there are some cards where you can do it
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: when the child is much younger. And it doesn't mean
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: that you have to give your child that card to use.
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: You could put like your Netflix subscription on it and
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: put it on auto pay and stick it in a
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: drawer and they never need to know about it. But
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: it will begin to build their credit histories. Then they
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: could get instead of getting a starter card, they could
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: get a rewards card. Or if they need to rent
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: their first apartment, they'll be able to do it. Like
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: it just gives them, you know, they need to get
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: a loan for a car, they're going to get a
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: better rate, Like it gives them a little credit score
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: is basically your financial GPA. So it's like it's your score.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: It's like it tells lenders how trustworthy you are with money.
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: So like for you, Joan, when you didn't have a
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: credit history, they were like, fuck, no, I'm not giving
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: that girl a mortgage, like she has no there's no
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: one can attest that she's going to pay it back.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: I got to staying hell out of Dodge, you know,
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: so we need it's like a track record that shows
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: like okay, you're someone who it's good for the banks
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: or whoever's on me the money to do business with.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: And so yeah, you can absolutely set your kids up
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: with a car, and I think that's an excellent idea.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: There's also a lot of other great hacks in the
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: book how to Build Generational Wealth, because you know, if
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: you do have even like one hundred dollars a month
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: to put towards your children to their future, I mean,
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: like I said, you have to put your own mask
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: on first, but that little you know, one hundred dollars
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: could fifty dollars over time with compound interests can grow
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: so exponentially. So this is where I'm saying, it's so
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: much about understanding how things work versus even having so
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: much money or like, you know, any sort of other sophistication,
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: Like we just live in a system where it's never taught.
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: And so that's why the book is so powerful, because
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: it gives you these cheat codes that you know, you
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: can use to really get ahead in life and to
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: put your children ahead too.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, can I ask you a question. I
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: know that you have kind of indicated that the stock
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: market is gives you the best ROI I know in
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: your book, you talked about really basic things like making
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: sure that you have a savings account that is or
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: a bank account that is not charging you all kinds
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: of fees, and then having a savings account so you
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: actually earned some interest on the money you have in
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: the bank, and a decent one, not one that is
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: giving you like a point oh four percent.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Return or whatever.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: But I have a question about investing. Okay, so let's
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: say that you want to invest in the stock market.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: I'm already in it. I'm asking this as a general
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: question because I have like a stockbroker, but like what
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: kind of fees should you expect? What ones are reasonable?
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: Like you talked about this in banking, but I maybe
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: I haven't gotten to that point in the book yet.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: But do you ever talk about it when it comes
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: to investing in the stock market? What is reasonable? What
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: are the reasonable fees to pay?
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's such a good question, Joan, because it's like
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: fees really are the killer of profit, and people don't
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: understand usually their fees with these advisors. And so what
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: I talk about in the book is how there's two
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: kinds of two different fee structures with financial advisors. So
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: one is a percentage of what your earning. And then
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: the other is hourly and I think for most people
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: an hourly uh sort of just planner is really all
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: that you need because you can do it on your own.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: But sometimes it's nights to have someone like tell, you know,
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: set out the plan for you. Maybe you want you
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: want something that's like a bit more in depth, but
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: then you're able to go and like make those decisions
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: on your own. But you know, fees can get crazy,
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: like I've seen like and that when you look at
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: it over ten twenty years, it's like it could be
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: tens of hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit easily.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: Really look for like one percent.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Now, how about for those who are in like the entertainment.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: World where you have business managers and you know, like
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, I don't do taxes
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: and I never plan on doing them in that sense.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean me too, I have a I
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: have an accountant for sure, and they they're so like
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: they help me optimize so much because that's like being
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: a business owner. And also that's the other thing in
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: the book is like I really break down how to
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: start your own business because like we are the biggest
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: generation of business owners, and no one sits us down
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: and says, hey, here's what s CORP is, Here's what
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: LLC is, here's why right right, here's what you put
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: away for taxes.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: But I mean, mind you, this is not just an
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: entertainment industry. My parents have one like it. It's like,
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: you know, you do get help, Yeah.
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: You get help. But I'm saying like the actual structure
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: of like a like a business, Like we all romanticize, oh,
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: we're going to start a business, but it's like, no
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: one actually ever tells you here, do it in the
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: best way. So that was so important for me to
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: include because the majority of people who read this, I
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: feel like are not majority, but like a good amount
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: are going to not be working in corporate but actually
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: be working for themselves. But you know, like fifteen percent.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: I would say is normal.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd say fifteen, maybe twenty, But like, ye.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: Don't be paying marty mm hmmm, yeah, I mean I
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: think people would not.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: I woant to pay over twenty to be honest, like
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: I would like for me, I'm paying fifteen to my
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: business manager, but he's sort of like my business.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Partner, so it feels right, of course you're still the CEO.
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I really believe also, like he worked so hard.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: I believe so deeply in paying people well, because like
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: there's just such a bigger cost to having to replet
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: someone than there is to uh making sure they stay.
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: And so if I love working with someone like and
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: they're doing a great job, like I just that's not
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: something I will ever be stingy on, Like I just
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: like my businesses has to be doing better than for
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: me to be worrying about like giving you the raise
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: that you deserve. That's not where I would ever cut costs.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Haley, I can't leave this. It went really fast, this
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: whole conversation. Thank you so much for your time. But
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I want to let's put the book again because I
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: can't wait.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: To read it.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: You're gonna like it, Cheryl, I want will you DM
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: me when you start reading it?
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: Of course? Are you going to do an audible version?
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah. One thing I'll say about what's really cool
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: for your audience is that if when you pre order
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: the book, you get seven hundred dollars worth of freebies,
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: So the book is like thirty dollars, but then you're
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: getting all these extra guides, AI tools, generational wealth planners,
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: credit card tool, like everything that you need to be
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: a future rich person comes when you pre order, because
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: I really wanted to make it like, you know, just
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: so valuable for people. And so if you're listening and
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: you're intrigued, definitely pre order. And you could pre order
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: the audible, which is so helpful too, because and I
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: read the whole thing. It's so fun. I'm a big
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: audible girly too. But I will say there is something
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: nice about getting the physical book and then sure highlight
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: it and you can there's I have checklists at the
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: end of each chapter of like the action steps that
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: you should take, but audible as well, you'll get a PDAF.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: I love the Actually, I love how you like kind
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: of organize the book chapter like I kind of know
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: what I'm going to get at the end that I'm
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: going to get the checklist, so if I'm not like
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: and I'm reading it for pleasure, but then like you know,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: one in the end to have the kind of notes
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: they're kind of at the end of each chapter. So
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: it's really really good. You did a great job on
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: this book, I have to say, because I am not
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: one to read a finance book.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: I have to.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: It really means the world to me to hear you
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: say that, Like again, I have chills. I'm such a loser.
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: But like IM, that's what I like when I was reading,
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: when I was writing it, a like that's what I wanted,
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: Like I wanted to be like the person who's like
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: I've never read one, like I don't know if I
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: if this is for me, like like and just be
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: like damn, I'm bodying this. I'm fun thing and it's
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: fun and I'm learning and like that makes me really happy.
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: So I'm so grateful they know this is your first book,
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: my first book. I'm hoping it's I think it's like
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: people are going to really like it, like it's yea
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: and yeah, I think that will be something that you
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: like past your friends, like it's I you know, because
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: we need this. There's not financial advice out there in
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: this way. And also, like I do believe like the
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: caliber of the advice that I gave is so sophisticated,
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: like it's so approachable, but it is the best advice
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: out there. And that's that's why I've been in the
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: game for so long, is because I'm so trusted in
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: that way, like I've I don't want people down like
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: it's always correct what I say. It's like I say
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: in the book, I'm your financial dominatrix.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: And she goes on and on about that, which is
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: really funny. It's there's like a whole like like sexual
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: innuendo in the whole like that whole paragraph that is hilarious.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I try, I can trust
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: you for sure. You're just straight to the point, and
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I like people like that. So where can people find you?
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: You have a podcast. I started listening to it and
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: I'm hooked so.
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: Good Financial Tea. It's out every Thursday. If you want
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: to preorder the book, go to missus dow Jones dot
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: com slash book and you'll get all those freebies. And yeah,
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: I'm on social media as missus dow Jones. I'm posting
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: videos every day to help you get rich?
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Are you in chapter two and finding out it's a
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: lot harder than you thought it would be. Well, we're
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: here to help. Send us an email or leave us
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Follow us on socials, I do Part two and iHeartRadio
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: podcast where falling in love is the main objective.