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The Horse World Only Has Two Degrees of Separation · Two Point Perspective

• 0:00
  I think horse sports has its own version of six degrees of separation, only I don't think it's six, I think it's closer to two.
• 0:09
  This is two point perspective.
• 0:11
  Two riders with different viewpoints from different generations talking about the same sport.
• 0:17
  It seems like this happens to me all the time.
• 0:20
  Last month when we were in Tryon, we had all the stalls except one in our aisle and somebody arrived, they just had one horse.
• 0:28
  They put the horse in the stall and they hung up a stable banner outside, which I saw, but it didn't really mean anything to me.
• 0:35
  We did talk to the girl and she said she was from Charlotte, but her trainer was here.
• 0:40
  A friend came to visit me.
• 0:42
  This was somebody that I'd ridden with growing up and hadn't seen her really since we graduated from high school.
• 0:48
  And she walked into the barn and she saw the banner and said, betsy.
• 0:53
  Pack, did you know Betsy?
• 0:55
  I didn't, but apparently Betsy's husband Gerald had ridden my friend's horse.
• 1:02
  So now my high school friend, who by the way, doesn't ride anymore, is standing in a barn aisle in Tryon, decades later talking with someone connected to a horse from her childhood.
• 1:16
  Then another friend came to visit, the friend I rode with during my first year of college when I rode with George.
• 1:23
  She saw the same banner and she knew Betsy too.
• 1:27
  But by then two people from completely different parts of my life were standing in the aisle talking to her.
• 1:36
  The next day, Betsy brought over a photograph from the early 70s of Gerald, her husband, riding my high school friend's horse, which was just crazy.
• 1:48
  That could only happen in the horse world.
• 1:50
  Although I can say I have one of those stories too.
• 1:52
  I mean, many.
• 1:53
  But one of them actually is because of you.
• 1:57
  When you had your Gals weekend from the women that you were friends with and what was it, high school and college and that you rode with one of them, we, we all got to talking.
• 2:10
  They knew the company that I worked for and it came, came out in a long, roundabout way that one of your friends dated my director and boss when they were in college and like almost got married or maybe,
• 2:30
  I don't know if they almost got.
• 2:32
  I don't think they almost got married, but maybe we're talking about an engagement supposedly.
• 2:36
  And so I immediately run back to the office the next week and I'm like, you are never going to believe this to one of my other bosses.
• 2:45
  So then we invited our director to come in and gave him a bunch of shit.
• 2:53
  Funny crap.
• 2:53
  Yeah, a bunch of shit.
• 2:54
  And we were like, I was Like I, I, the little peon that I am, know your ex girlfriend from when.
• 3:01
  You were in college.
• 3:02
  And he was like, what?
• 3:03
  How do you know her?
• 3:06
  I was like, pays to know people in the horse world, man.
• 3:10
  That is so crazy.
• 3:12
  So you would have to say how many people were actually between you and that person?
• 3:18
  I guess you would have to say, hey, not very many.
• 3:22
  No, I mean, honestly, it just puts, like, you, right?
• 3:27
  Yeah.
• 3:28
  Yeah.
• 3:29
  So that's why I'm not giving the horse world six degrees.
• 3:33
  All six degrees of separation.
• 3:35
  We don't need them.
• 3:37
  When I was looking for a horse, I kept telling my trainer about a friend who goes to Belgium all the time with her trainer to shop.
• 3:46
  They would post pictures from the trip.
• 3:48
  They would always have restaurants on Facebook, museums.
• 3:53
  And then somehow, my friend would always go, oops, Somehow I just bought a horse, and I thought that it was the coolest thing ever.
• 4:02
  I just loved her journey.
• 4:04
  And I kept saying to my trainer, we should do that.
• 4:08
  And my trainer, of course, was like, oh, perhaps we should look here first and see what we find.
• 4:15
  And I was like, okay, fine.
• 4:17
  And she said, so we did, and we found Celine.
• 4:22
  But then when I was in Tryon in June and I saw.
• 4:28
  I was walking along the side of the ring and I saw es sport horses, and I was like, okay, you know, that is the trainer that I'd been telling my trainer about, the one who takes my friend to
• 4:42
  Europe.
• 4:43
  And she had the most incredibly clever idea I've ever seen.
• 4:48
  She had a sandwich board outside of her, you know, stall setup that had a listing of the horses for sale.
• 4:57
  And so I went back to the barn and I told my trainer, you know, the person I told you about that goes to Belgium to look for horses, her trainer, yes, sport horses is here.
• 5:08
  And my trainer said, oh, yeah, I know.
• 5:11
  We're trying one of their horses this afternoon.
• 5:13
  And I was blown away.
• 5:15
  And I said, okay, well, which one?
• 5:18
  And she said, the hunter.
• 5:19
  And.
• 5:20
  And I said, well, what color is the horse?
• 5:23
  And she said, chestnut.
• 5:24
  And I said, I.
• 5:27
  That's my friend's horse.
• 5:30
  And that was just insane.
• 5:33
  So gear trainer didn't actually know about the connection at the time when they chose to try that one?
• 5:39
  No, not at all.
• 5:41
  And so I went to watch when I didn't even know that they were looking for a horse for this person, because I didn't know, you know, all the ins and outs of everybody in the barn.
• 5:53
  But then, sure.
• 5:55
  So when I.
• 5:56
  I went over and watched her try the horse, and I texted my friend and she said, I'm leaving from Atlanta, but I probably won't get there in time.
• 6:05
  And so then later on that night, I got a text from her saying, truby is coming back with you guys to get vetted.
• 6:14
  But the only reason that we're allowing it is because of you.
• 6:18
  Please keep an eye on him.
• 6:19
  He is the best.
• 6:21
  No, well, I mean, you know, that connection matters.
• 6:24
  It's not just a funny coincidence.
• 6:27
  You know, your friend trusted the horse to leave with you because you're part of that chain, I guess.
• 6:31
  I mean, the horse created the connection before any of us realized it was even there.
• 6:37
  I think I see, you know, I get some versions of that, like through insurance and being in insurance and talking with people because, you know, yeah, I mean, insurance is pretty dull, but at the same time, I really
• 6:49
  believe in.
• 6:50
  In what we do and in our product.
• 6:51
  So when I'm speaking to clients or new or new potential clients, I like to get to know them and the horse that they may be buying or trying to get insurance for.
• 7:00
  And like, when you're having these conversations organically, it just happens that you end up knowing the same trainer or friends in a different barn that you know, or a veterinarian or something like that.
• 7:11
  Like, just the connections are all so, like, interwoven.
• 7:14
  This isn't really insurance related, but our mutual friend Molly, they recently just decided to come up with a new job for their horse, Fiona.
• 7:23
  And when she was telling me about it, she said, oh, yeah, there's this program, it's called Speaking of Horses, and we're going to give her a try at that, and she's going to help be a therapy horse.
• 7:34
  And first of all, Fiona's the best in the whole wide world, so can't imagine a better horse for, you know, like a semi retired job.
• 7:42
  Perfect.
• 7:42
  And I said, you're never going to believe this.
• 7:45
  One of my old.
• 7:46
  I said, the barn where she's going is where I used to board my horses when I was in high school.
• 7:52
  And it was five minutes down the road from us.
• 7:55
  And the owner of the barn and her daughter became really good friends of my mom's and mine.
• 8:00
  And then I actually ended up working for the barn owner, the property owner, in different.
• 8:05
  Various different ways.
• 8:06
  But I said, I know them.
• 8:08
  I say, did you.
• 8:09
  Did you meet Brooke?
• 8:09
  And she's like, yeah, I did meet Brooke.
• 8:11
  And I was like, that's like five minutes from my house.
• 8:14
  And so it was just like this crazy thing.
• 8:15
  I mean, I know it's local to our area, but the Fact that, like, Fiona landed, of all places, five minutes from my house in a place where I basically, like, grew up during high school.
• 8:23
  It's just, you know, it's just very small.
• 8:25
  Horse world is small.
• 8:27
  It's not that close to where she was before.
• 8:30
  So.
• 8:30
  Right.
• 8:31
  Even though it's five minutes from you, you drove an hour to the barn.
• 8:35
  So, you know, that's pretty small.
• 8:39
  Well, and, you know, I know and I.
• 8:41
  I know the people very, very well.
• 8:44
  Just they.
• 8:45
  I mean, they've been a.
• 8:46
  In my life for the better portion of half.
• 8:50
  Half of it, longer than half of my.
• 8:52
  I've been alive, I mean, like, since I was 13, so a long time.
• 8:57
  So it all fits.
• 8:58
  It's crazy.
• 8:59
  Well, actually, during the same horse show at Tryon, somebody from the current barn said that she had to go to Charlotte that one on Friday night to watch her brother race.
• 9:14
  And I said, what kind of race?
• 9:17
  And she said, nascar.
• 9:19
  And I was like, okay, the husband of the college or the girl that I was talking about that I rode with when I was in college lives in Charlotte and was coming to visit her husband works for nascar.
• 9:38
  And she said, well, what's her name?
• 9:40
  And I said her name, and she nearly fell over.
• 9:45
  She was like, her father is really good friends with my friend Missy's husband, Steve.
• 9:52
  And so that was just insane because Missy and I rode together with George.
• 9:59
  But she's lived in Charlotte.
• 10:01
  I've lived in New York and then in Charlottesville, and then only because I've been going to try on to horse show and Missy knows that I have.
• 10:11
  She's come to stay and visit.
• 10:13
  It was just too coincidental.
• 10:15
  Well, yeah.
• 10:16
  I mean, that one didn't even begin with a horse and still came back to the barn, you know, and it makes me wonder, like, why does that happen so often in our sport and horse sport?
• 10:27
  Because it can't be just a coincidence.
• 10:28
  It's got to be something about the way that the world works.
• 10:31
  Because I feel like it happens more often than it doesn't.
• 10:34
  Like, if you sit there and talk to somebody long enough, somehow they know somebody from somewhere.
• 10:38
  I mean, the craziest thing about you, though, is, I mean, I guess it's not that crazy, but it is crazy.
• 10:43
  It's because you're from Atlanta, you now live in Virginia, and both are like, pretty hub spots for riding in a way.
• 10:51
  And so at some point you're going to bump into somebody.
• 10:53
  But I feel like it's happening to you all the time.
• 10:55
  I guess so.
• 10:56
  And I don't Know why, But maybe just my age.
• 10:59
  But people always say that the horse world is really small, but geographically, it really isn't that small.
• 11:06
  It stretches, you know, local barns to Florida.
• 11:09
  Try on Europe, Canada, California, everywhere.
• 11:13
  But why does it feel as though everyone is only one phone call away from somebody else?
• 11:20
  I guess my first thought is, you know, that people stay a little bit, like, okay, like horses, you might take a break.
• 11:27
  Kind of like you took a break to, like, start your family and your career and all that.
• 11:31
  I feel like horses are in your blood.
• 11:33
  And it is a saying that's.
• 11:37
  I feel said all the time, which is, you always come back to it, or it's in your blood.
• 11:41
  And so you might stop riding for a while.
• 11:43
  You might change barns, you might move to another state or take a completely different job.
• 11:47
  But most people never truly leave the horse world.
• 11:50
  I mean, even people will.
• 11:51
  Maybe you take a step back and you have a child and your child gets into it, and then you come back and you're in a whole new generation of it.
• 11:58
  But I.
• 11:59
  I just don't think you totally ever step away.
• 12:02
  No, you're totally right.
• 12:03
  And even if your role changes, the connection remains.
• 12:08
  Well, yeah, because a junior can become a professional or a client, then becomes an owner, rider becomes a judge or joins a committee and is involved.
• 12:16
  That way, someone you knew in one part of the sport can appear in the sport years later in a different position, you know?
• 12:24
  Yep.
• 12:24
  People can stay, but their hats change.
• 12:28
  The horses may make that network even stronger because they move to.
• 12:31
  One horse can connect a breeder, importer, you know, first owner, trainer, groom, veterinarian, amateur rider, and.
• 12:40
  Or even just the next person that buys it.
• 12:41
  I mean, in the sense of Loki.
• 12:44
  I didn't ride with Victoria when I was a kid, like, when I was growing up, but she has a phenomenal eye for a horse.
• 12:55
  And she's, you know, been our friend since I was a little, tiny kid.
• 12:59
  So when we were looking for a horse, and she was like, you know what?
• 13:02
  We're gonna reach out and see if Chris knows of any that can be imported right now.
• 13:05
  You know, she connected us over to him.
• 13:09
  He helped us find the horse, and then the horse ultimately went and trained at Victoria's before we moved him closer to home for me.
• 13:16
  But through Chr.
• 13:17
  Chris, like, I met all these people that live near Victoria and stuff like that that rode with him or, you know, had horses with him, and I made all of these new friends and connections to people that are,
• 13:27
  you know, obviously, we're all still in the same state, but through having a mutual trainer.
• 13:31
  And then Victoria, who knew these people as, you know, friends and people she'd ridden with and her daughters had written with.
• 13:36
  You're introduced to like a whole nother group of people, and it's a lot of fun.
• 13:39
  It goes to show you that the horse has a history.
• 13:42
  Everybody who touched that history becomes connected.
• 13:46
  And so maybe horses aren't the only, only one with pedigrees.
• 13:50
  People have horse.
• 13:51
  People have them too.
• 13:53
  Not in the snobby, not in the snobby sense, but almost everybody can trace a path.
• 13:59
  I rode with my trainer, rode with my first pony, came from my horse, was imported by, to your point.
• 14:09
  Oh, totally.
• 14:10
  We have a pony at our barn who came from my very first trainer.
• 14:16
  That pony came from, like a well known trainer down in the area that a friend of mine, now Courtney, used to ride for her.
• 14:25
  Not for her, but like with her when she was a junior.
• 14:28
  And she's like, how in the world did you end up with like, how old is that pony?
• 14:32
  Just like, she's been out of the game for a while.
• 14:33
  And I was like, well, I.
• 14:34
  I mean, honestly, I can't really tell you how old the pony is.
• 14:36
  I have no idea.
• 14:37
  She's angelic.
• 14:38
  That's all I know, actually.
• 14:39
  She's really sassy.
• 14:40
  But Courtney, who's a little bit older than me, who I remember being intimidated by when I was a kid when I was riding and then I was like, oh, yeah, I have this pony.
• 14:50
  And she's like, that pony's gotta have come from the lady that I used to ride with when I was a kid.
• 14:55
  I was like, well, she lives in Charlottesville now.
• 14:57
  I don't really know what to tell you, but, you know, once you start tracing a path, another person usually recognizes a name, kind of similarly to this or another barn.
• 15:07
  But before long, you know, a stranger you just met isn't.
• 15:10
  It doesn't really feel like a stranger.
• 15:11
  You know, you have this very interwoven connection.
• 15:15
  Yeah.
• 15:15
  And in most industries, networking is something that people deliberately do in horse sports.
• 15:22
  It often just happens to you.
• 15:25
  You stay involved long enough and one day somebody says, wait, you know, Betsy,.
• 15:32
  That may be one of the differences between our perspectives.
• 15:35
  Like, you have the relationships that reach back through decades of riding.
• 15:39
  George.
• 15:40
  Different barns, different parts of the.
• 15:43
  My network is a little bit newer, and so it comes through like a different generation.
• 15:48
  Insurance or work clients and the barns where I've ridden.
• 15:52
  But the same thing ultimately happens and we reach people through different paths, which.
• 15:56
  May be the best illustration of this podcast.
• 15:59
  We came into this board in different ways and at different times, but the lines keep crossing.
• 16:06
  Well, speaking of that, think about with Harry.
• 16:11
  We.
• 16:12
  We didn't meet for, what, a couple of.
• 16:17
  A couple.
• 16:18
  More than a couple of years.
• 16:20
  Many years, probably seven or eight years.
• 16:25
  When you had Lucy at Harry's and then you moved Lucy.
• 16:29
  But you.
• 16:30
  You and I crisscrossed paths with Harry because I was helping Harry at his barn when I could, like when time would allow, and he needed some help.
• 16:40
  And that's just crazy to me because you were down here and I was down here.
• 16:43
  Harry's farm was not far from.
• 16:44
  It is still not far from my house.
• 16:46
  And so you were like, oh, yeah, well, I just knew him.
• 16:49
  And then, I mean, that's.
• 16:50
  That's what's crazy to me.
• 16:51
  I was like, well, you knew Harry and I knew Harry.
• 16:53
  And anyways, you know, the.
• 16:55
  The lines can help you.
• 16:56
  It's a trusted introduction that can lead you to a trainer or horse or a veterinarian or opportunity you might have, you know, otherwise not found on your own.
• 17:05
  But there is another side.
• 17:06
  If the.
• 17:07
  If the network carries trust, it can also carry reputation and not always the whole story.
• 17:14
  I mean, I know that I'm thankful for having, you know, being in the insurance industry in the horses.
• 17:20
  Now, I will say I.
• 17:23
  I didn't go into insurance and then say, oh, you know, oh, I just happen to be a horse insurance agent.
• 17:31
  I was into horses.
• 17:32
  This career isn't, you know, is an opportunity and a path you can take, and it's one that I took because I have some connections.
• 17:40
  But I will say, while I have connections of my own, I have made so many new connections due to my career alone, and I'm involved in horses as a hobby on the, you know, the other side of it.
• 17:54
  Well, and I think that's where a small world can begin to feel very small.
• 18:00
  The stories are funny until you step back and think about what all these connections do.
• 18:04
  But I have to kind of go a little bit back and say, we need to clarify who Harry is.
• 18:11
  Oh, yes.
• 18:11
  And Harry is Harry Delaire.
• 18:15
  Yes.
• 18:16
  And I have a feeling that a lot of people may or may not remember Harry.
• 18:21
  That was such a strange connection.
• 18:23
  It was so weird.
• 18:24
  We went to a book signing for the $80 champion at Dover one night, and I did not know that Harry lived in Charlottesville.
• 18:37
  And he was sitting behind me, and I remember watching him, you know, the galloping grandfather, as I was coming along, and I turned around and talked to Him.
• 18:48
  And at the end of the evening, this woman started handing out flyers and saying that Harry was still teaching, giving lessons, clinics, etc.
• 18:59
  And I was like, okay, maybe they need somebody to come and help ride horses.
• 19:05
  So I asked her, and she said, yes, come on Saturday.
• 19:09
  So, because my daughter and I were sharing a horse, and I was kind of like, well, she really wants to ride more than I did.
• 19:19
  So I asked, and they said, yes, come.
• 19:21
  It's too crazy.
• 19:23
  Yeah.
• 19:23
  Like I said, the stories are funny.
• 19:26
  But then when you step back and think about what all these connections do, they shape where we ride, which horse we try, who we trust, who we call, and sometimes who gets an opportunity,.
• 19:41
  Well, they can make the sport feel very welcoming in many ways.
• 19:44
  If someone brings you into the network and, you know, everybody will say it's.
• 19:50
  It's not what you know, it's who you know in terms of getting a job.
• 19:53
  And a lot of the, you know, I think that that can.
• 19:55
  That can cross over into other aspects of your life, and I think horses being one of them.
• 20:00
  Networking, like you said, it's kind of happens a little bit more organically in the horse world, but it's still just as important, just like you said, like, depending on who you're going to do business with or who you're
• 20:08
  going to call or who.
• 20:09
  Who to trust.
• 20:10
  And I think there's a lot of variables, especially with who to trust.
• 20:13
  Oh, I agree.
• 20:14
  Because if you're new and everybody else seems to share a history, it can feel as though you walked into the middle of a conversation that began 30 years ago.
• 20:25
  Oh, yeah.
• 20:25
  The relationships preserve the knowledge and help people solve problems and create mentorship and accountability.
• 20:32
  But those are the same relationships that can make the sport cautious about change.
• 20:38
  I know it.
• 20:39
  And as we get into this, we talk about new leadership, governance, transparency, technology and data, as though a structural change will create a clean slate.
• 20:52
  It doesn't.
• 20:53
  The same relationships are still in the room, right?
• 20:57
  Yeah.
• 20:58
  Which is.
• 20:58
  Can be in some ways the sport's greatest strength, all these connections, but could also be the reason that change is gonna take so long.
• 21:07
  And I think that that's probably accurate.
• 21:09
  I mean, if you look at, like, our country as a whole, like, the way that our government works, it's.
• 21:14
  It.
• 21:15
  You can have lots of ideas and certainly a long list of complaints, but it is not going to happen overnight where things, you know, can change like that.
• 21:24
  I don't think that you can separate any of this.
• 21:28
  The relationships that held us, you know, that hold the sport together are often the same relationships that make changing it complicated.
• 21:35
  So perhaps the question isn't really whether the connections are good or bad.
• 21:40
  It's whether we understand how much they change the sport.
• 21:44
  So for adult amateurs, we may think we are buying a horse or joining a barn, but we're also entering a network that existed long before we arrived.
• 21:56
  So some of that network becomes our support system.
• 22:00
  Some of it takes years to understand.
• 22:02
  Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 22:03
  I mean, adult amateurs depend on those relationships more than we may realize.
• 22:09
  I mean, probably more than you or I realize.
• 22:12
  Because most of us don't independently choose every trainer, horse, show vet, farrier, or specialist.
• 22:18
  We rely on the people that we trust and on the people that they trust.
• 22:23
  No, you're right.
• 22:24
  We aren't only joining a barn, we're joining its relationships.
• 22:30
  Yeah.
• 22:30
  It can give you an immediate community.
• 22:33
  It can also take time to understand where all of those relationships came from.
• 22:36
  I know that when I had Loki and moved him to where we were riding, I became very good friends with you.
• 22:44
  Became very good friends with our friend Molly.
• 22:47
  And I mean, the list goes on and on and on, but there are people that now that just because my horse isn't there and he lives at my house now, I still talk to you guys all the time.
• 22:56
  Bouncing random things, you know, like, depending on where everybody is in their stage of life.
• 23:02
  Like, I've got questions.
• 23:03
  I gotta text somebody tomorrow about, like, schools in the area because, you know, I gotta start researching preschools.
• 23:10
  You have to be, like, 10 years ahead.
• 23:11
  You have to be.
• 23:12
  I should have been researching them 10 years ago.
• 23:14
  I was about to say, for Loki.
• 23:17
  Yeah.
• 23:17
  Honestly, he could go back to preschool.
• 23:19
  That would probably be a good idea.
• 23:21
  Well, perhaps that's why one introduction can matter so much.
• 23:28
  Somebody lets you into the network, and then years later, you may be the person making that introduction for somebody else.
• 23:37
  You're going to be making the introduction for Loki to go to nursery school?
• 23:42
  Yeah.
• 23:43
  I mean, it's very important.
• 23:44
  He's got to learn how to play with the other kids in the sandbox.
• 23:47
  That's not very good.
• 23:49
  He's failing at that thus far.
• 23:51
  Oh, so he's rude and he doesn't share.
• 23:55
  Well, damn it.
• 24:01
  Oh, God.
• 24:01
  He's gonna get a.
• 24:02
  Basically, I'm gonna get phone calls home.
• 24:04
  That's right.
• 24:04
  The principal wants to see you.
• 24:09
  Just keep him.
• 24:11
  That's right.
• 24:11
  So maybe six degrees of separation works in the rest of the world.
• 24:16
  In the horseboard, two feels generous.
• 24:20
  You may not know the person standing across the aisle, but somebody rode with her.
• 24:26
  Trainer, someone owned her horse, someone remembers the pony she had as a child.
• 24:33
  And if you stay around long enough, a photograph from 50 years ago May show up in the barn the next morning.
• 24:41
  Yeah.
• 24:41
  For a sport to spread across so many places, it really is remarkable.
• 24:45
  And I think that is what makes the horse world feel so impossibly small.
• 24:51
  And at the same time, it may also be one of the reasons it holds us together.
• 24:56
  I mean, look at us.
• 24:58
  Oh, yes.
• 24:59
  So, until next time, let's drive.