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From Anger to Influence with Ed Snyder · Christian Business Growth Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome to Christian Business Growth Podcast.
• 0:03
  I'm here with Ed Snyder.
• 0:05
  He's a pastor, but he's a leader, and he has an organization called Control the Beast.
• 0:09
  So that should be curiosity enough for you to listen in.
• 0:12
  All right, Ed, how did God get you into business?
• 0:15
  Well, um, we have a very unique story.
• 0:18
  Uh I was the fat kid growing up, timid, quiet, getting picked on, made fun of, beat up all the time.
• 0:26
  And of course that made me an extremely angry kid, angry young a teenager, young adult.
• 0:32
  And uh, you know, I'm a church kid.
• 0:34
  I I was raised in church, so I'm not supposed to feel like this.
• 0:38
  I'm not supposed to have these feelings, you know.
• 0:41
  So I kind of walked around a lot under a lot of condemnation, you know, of my own self.
• 0:47
  And then uh I met the the love of my life, uh, Gail.
• 0:53
  And, you know, when when we first met at church, she walked away and God just kind of put it in my heart, that's her.
• 1:00
  And I told my best friend Bert McGavick that we're still great friends today.
• 1:04
  I said, Dude, that's her.
• 1:06
  And he's like, Who?
• 1:08
  I said, That's the girl I'm gonna marry.
• 1:09
  He goes, Do you not understand how old you are?
• 1:12
  You know, I was I was like fifteen, you know, sixteen, but that's her.
• 1:16
  And so anyway, we dated for a long time and and of course then got married.
• 1:22
  And but I I couldn't figure out how to tell her, look, you need to learn how to duck.
• 1:27
  I you know, I I I was afraid to tell her.
• 1:30
  about my problem.
• 1:32
  And so in our first marital discussion, I got upset and put my fist through the door.
• 1:37
  And the next morning she's like, Ed, I didn't know that about you.
• 1:41
  I don't know if I can do this.
• 1:43
  And I'm like
• 1:45
  I look, you know, you're the love of my life.
• 1:47
  I don't want to lose you.
• 1:49
  I'll do something.
• 1:50
  Well, we've been married now for 45 years.
• 1:54
  I I keep teasing her, I said, you know, you're a very blessed woman.
• 1:57
  And she just rolls her eyes and keeps on walking.
• 1:59
  But anyway, so you know, 45 years ago, uh their anger management classes, emotional intelligence was not even in the universe.
• 2:11
  And so I really didn't know what to do other than go to my pastor.
• 2:15
  And so I went to him and I said, Look, I've got a I've got a problem we need to talk about.
• 2:20
  He goes, What's going on?
• 2:20
  I said, I've got a ferocious anger problem, and it's getting in the way.
• 2:24
  Oh, son, go to the altar and pray.
• 2:27
  You'll be fine.
• 2:28
  So I went to the altar and had good prayer, and three days later, I'm punching something.
• 2:32
  And something was missing.
• 2:34
  Well, the Bible says faith without works is dead.
• 2:38
  I had the faith, but I needed the works.
• 2:40
  I needed a I didn't know how to put in the work.
• 2:43
  So I gave my wife permission to speak into my life, tell me where I'm I'm messing up, but also tell me what I'm doing good so that I can capitalize on my strengths and then bring
• 2:55
  the weaknesses up.
• 2:56
  And so we started that.
• 2:57
  And then we went to a book on anger management and emotional intelligence back then.
• 3:02
  It's a still on
• 3:02
  bestselling list it's called the Bible and uh we just started studying the Bible you know what does the Bible say about anger you know be angry but sin not so it's okay to be angry
• 3:14
  just don't sin in the process of it and of course uh Proverbs says to get understanding to get wisdom so that's one thing I had said okay I have to understand what's going on with
• 3:29
  me
• 3:30
  the why, you know, you always start with the why.
• 3:34
  Why am I doing this?
• 3:35
  And that way you can get in and fix the problem.
• 3:38
  So we uh excuse me, we we went we went at it for several years.
• 3:45
  And then when I felt like I have mastered or managed my emotions, you know, we started giving back.
• 3:53
  So I went and got back.
• 3:54
  By then material was coming out on anger and emotional intelligence.
• 3:59
  And so I started studying.
• 4:01
  And then I found, excuse me, I found an organization that certified people to teach anger management.
• 4:09
  So I thought, let's do this.
• 4:11
  And so we basically taught our story.
• 4:15
  And you know, we did that for 20 plus years.
• 4:18
  And everybody's like, man, this is the best anger management class I've ever been in.
• 4:22
  And we had probation and pr parole connected to us.
• 4:25
  Goodyear tire rubber company contracted us, chambers of commerces, lunch and learns, court services, lots of lawyers, you know, had me contracted and helping.
• 4:39
  Helping them with their clients and probationers and all that stuff.
• 4:42
  Of course, if I had a five dollar bill for every probationer that came to me and said, I don't need anger management class, we I could probably build both of us a house and pay
• 4:51
  cash.
• 4:52
  Because nobody thinks they need that.
• 4:54
  But then three lessons in, they would come to me and say, you know, I really didn't think I had a problem.
• 5:00
  until I met you, until I started hearing this teaching.
• 5:04
  And so again, it was basically our story, the power of understanding, rebuilding your self-esteem.
• 5:10
  Relationships, nine levels of relationships, how your relationship with God.
• 5:16
  And then on down, you know, your spouse, best friends, what are they?
• 5:20
  And too many times we get confused of mixing our relationship love.
• 5:25
  We try to make uh an associate a best friend, but we don't know them.
• 5:30
  Or a best friend that betrayed us, we try to keep them there and it's not gonna work.
• 5:36
  You know, they the people go up and down on that relationship.
• 5:38
  And of course, level nine is toxic relationships, which I think is very important in the church today because a lot of people try to mess with toxic relationships and they're only
• 5:49
  gonna it the only thing that's gonna happen is they're gonna keep getting poisoned.
• 5:54
  Until they contain the poison and dispose of it.
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  So that's a whole nother lesson.
• 5:59
  But anyway, and back to your question, is um we started giving back.
• 6:04
  And of course, you know, I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit when I was 12 and felt God called me to preach when I was 13.
• 6:13
  And then, you know, somewhere around fifteen, sixteen, I felt like I was gonna be an evangelist and then pastor church.
• 6:20
  Well, of course, with my situation and the way my life was, people made fun of me for that.
• 6:25
  You know, yeah, you're gonna be an evangelist, you know, all this stuff.
• 6:29
  And it it hurt.
• 6:31
  But yet, you know, my calling and election was sure.
• 6:35
  I knew I was going to ministry.
• 6:38
  And so it really control the beast and ministry has kind of blended where we're helping people on a spiritual level.
• 6:47
  Now I I've taught that 20 plus years was, you know, separation of church and state, department of corrections, and all that stuff.
• 6:55
  So I just taught biblical concepts, just didn't put chapter and verse to them.
• 6:59
  You know.
• 7:01
  Because that's where the truth is, that's where the wisdom is, is in the Bible.
• 7:05
  Yeah, there's one person that he when he quotes scripture, he just says from the tent builder, Paul, he doesn't mention scripture.
• 7:13
  And I love it, he he references the biblical person to people who may or may not understand what that means and everything.
• 7:21
  I love that you say you have to work on it.
• 7:23
  You can have the faith, but you gotta put work behind that faith, especially when it comes to emotions, because we don't recognize our own faults.
• 7:29
  We have our own blinders, we don't see how anger is affecting other people.
• 7:34
  I I love that you're pointing that out.
• 7:36
  So what's God doing right now in your business, brother?
• 7:39
  Right now, I I'm just super, super excited.
• 7:42
  We have um really put this thing on steroids.
• 7:47
  And we've got a podcast.
• 7:48
  We have uh Gail and I have written a book three years ago called Control the Beast, A Guide to Manage Your Emotions.
• 7:55
  And then uh
• 7:58
  We revised it because a lot of that the first version had a lot of stats and stuff that, you know, became outdated.
• 8:05
  So we completely revised um revised our our control the beast book and now put a new cover on it.
• 8:14
  And now it's got all the new stats, got more content than the original version.
• 8:18
  So it's available.
• 8:20
  And then my publisher said, Ed, we need a sequel to Control the Beast.
• 8:23
  And I'm like, uh, wasn't planning a sequel.
• 8:28
  All right.
• 8:28
  no, you've got to write a sequel.
• 8:30
  I s and he goes, I've just I've got just the title.
• 8:33
  I said, Okay, let's hear it.
• 8:34
  He goes, release the beast.
• 8:36
  He said, In control the beast, you've taught them how to get the negative stuff controlled, out, cleaned out.
• 8:43
  But see, those people have operated their life their entire life on the negative side.
• 8:48
  Now what are they gonna do?
• 8:49
  You know, they're they're like in cyberspace.
• 8:52
  They're floating around.
• 8:53
  They don't know how to handle things because they've always handled it in a forceful anger way.
• 9:00
  And I'm like, yeah.
• 9:01
  So now you need to get your readers in beast mode.
• 9:05
  And so you need to you control the negative beast, but now release the positive beast.
• 9:10
  So I'm like, okay, let me let me chew on it.
• 9:12
  So we have finished the uh first version of the manuscript.
• 9:17
  It's in edit now.
• 9:18
  We're hoping by the end of August that that'll be ready for release on Release the Beast.
• 9:24
  So we've got Release the Beast, we've got um control the beast, release the beast.
• 9:29
  We also have written a uh made whole 30-day devotional that's pu getting ready to publish with journal.
• 9:37
  so it's every day it's a 30-day devotional on emotional intelligence and what the by you know, we've got a scripture, we've got a thought, you know, now we now journal this, and
• 9:48
  so we just try
• 9:49
  guide people to write things out.
• 9:51
  You know, when I went through my we went through a very devastating situation with one of our children, very, very painful.
• 9:59
  And I I went to the office depot and bought a moleskin and just started every day writing out.
• 10:07
  you know, my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, and it really, really helped me get through that very dark time in our lives.
• 10:15
  So that's kind of where we're at.
• 10:17
  Of course I also uh do guest appearances on podcasts and I'm open to speak at different events, help train leaders, business owners, because emotional intelligence is a component
• 10:31
  that really needs to be in our life, not just our church life.
• 10:35
  But our secular life, our careers.
• 10:38
  We've got to learn how to handle our emotions, and when we learn how to handle us, we're able to handle the the person.
• 10:47
  that is in conflict that we work around.
• 10:51
  For example, again, one of the nine levels of relationships that we teach is a working relationship.
• 10:57
  That's that person at work.
• 10:59
  They're political, they're cutthroat, they're gonna they're gonna step on anybody they can to make themselves get higher up the l ladder.
• 11:08
  If you cross swords with them, you're going to cause yourself trouble.
• 11:11
  So you got to learn how to have a working relationship.
• 11:15
  I've had them in my past.
• 11:16
  When I get to the when I get on the on the job or wherever I'm at, I am courteous.
• 11:22
  I'm professional.
• 11:23
  I don't go to lunch with them.
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  I don't go to break with them.
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  I don't go to dinner with them.
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  I don't bowl after work with them.
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  They are a working relationship.
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  I know them at work.
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  I will laugh with them.
• 11:35
  You know, uh but I'm not going to I'm not gonna mess around beyond that.
• 11:40
  That's a good point.
• 11:41
  Yeah, I love that you're talking about processing emotions because everybody has emotions.
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  We all deal with them differently.
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  And if you don't process them, that's where the problem comes in.
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  I love the Bible verse you mentioned.
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  Be anger and do not sin.
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  Anger itself is not the sin, it's what you do with the anger is that becomes the sin.
• 11:55
  And I uh those are great, great insights that you brought to us.
• 12:01
  So we're gonna kind of move into our business growth concept.
• 12:03
  And I believe you're gonna talk about personal growth, which is very important to what you do.
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  But don't forget to mention you're also a pastor.
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  All the stuff you're doing and you're running a church.
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  Yes, yes.
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  In fact, we're we're not yeah, we're growing a church.
• 12:17
  We we came to Irving about twelve years ago with six people extremely broken.
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  Uh trust was at like zero.
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  Uh my predecessor just didn't do things correctly and you know, all that.
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  So we had to and and the church was in debt.
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  Uh so we had to get the debt debt cleared.
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  We had to restore trust.
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  and then be able to start growing.
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  So yeah, we uh we we've really God has really helped us a lot in the restoration or replanting of Solid Rock Church.
• 12:55
  So I love I love ministry.
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  I love preaching, teaching wherever and whenever I can.
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  And of course the people of Solid Rock is just, you know, as any pastor should feel one great special group of people.
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  And so, um, and of course, a lot of of control the beast is about living for God.
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  Because when you get your emotions healthy, your intelligence healthy of only your emotions, then your relationships improve all around you, and your relationships improve
• 13:28
  with God.
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  It's amazing how that our relationships with people bleed over in our relationship with God.
• 13:37
  If we don't trust people,
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  How are we trusting God?
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  You know, and so uh if we don't if we're not a good communicator to those that are around us, we can't be a good communicator to God, which affects our relationship.
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  Because kind, you know, prayer, i.e., communication to God is very important in living for Him.
• 13:59
  And you know, in the business realm.
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  You know, we we need the blessing of the Lord on our businesses, you know, because it's not about it it's it what's it about is is God order my steps.
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  The Bible says the steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord.
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  And so when God is the president of your company,
• 14:23
  and you're the VP and you go to the president for direction, what are we gonna do?
• 14:29
  How do we gonna handle that?
• 14:30
  It really does work a whole lot better.
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  So
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  I like to use the concept of a chocolate donut.
• 14:37
  There's a chocolate donut just have icing on top of it.
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  So that's a little good God sprinkled on it, but there's a chocolate donut's fully chocolate, integrated through.
• 14:44
  And God has to be integrated into your business.
• 14:47
  Business itself is a ministry if you look at it those ways.
• 14:50
  Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
• 14:53
  your business growth tip is about personal growth.
• 14:55
  Tell us a little bit about that.
• 14:56
  How is that important to your business?
• 14:58
  yeah, i if you when you stop learning, you stop growing.
• 15:03
  You you know, it doesn't matter how long you've been in it, you still learn.
• 15:10
  Um, you know, in the before before we got uh live here, we were chatting.
• 15:17
  And I've been in ministry now for 45 years.
• 15:20
  And when you're in ministry for 45 years, I I was an evangelist for many years.
• 15:26
  So that means that's back in the old days where they had revivals from Wednesday to Sunday.
• 15:31
  So I would preach four or five nights a week, you know.
• 15:35
  And so when you preach that much, teach that much.
• 15:38
  You know, you got a lot in your head.
• 15:39
  And it'd be easy to get behind a a pulpit and podium or whatever and just start, you know, talking uh just because of what's in my head.
• 15:49
  But I can't rely on on last you know, yesterday's blessing or some some old bread.
• 15:57
  I need some fresh bread.
• 15:59
  So it doesn't matter if I'm preparing for a midweek Bible study, if I'm preparing for a Sunday sermon sermon, or if I'm gonna speak to a
• 16:08
  business, a group of leaders or whatever, I always study what I'm going to teach because every time, especially when it comes to the Bible, you will always learn something new
• 16:20
  when you dive into that material.
• 16:22
  So I am a reader.
• 16:24
  Um, of course, my my routine is I'm up in the I'm an early riser.
• 16:29
  So I get up early and my first deal is uh I make some coffee and I I when the weather's good, I like to be in my backyard, and that's where me and God talk.
• 16:41
  That's where I go meet the president of the company and and start talking to him.
• 16:46
  And getting direction, and you know, getting my prayer changes things.
• 16:52
  That's not a cliche, it's a true statement.
• 16:55
  And so part of my personal growth is daily time of prayer.
• 17:00
  And then, of course, some some uh I read my Bible on a daily basis, and then I'm also a reader, I read books.
• 17:08
  John Maxwell's one of my favorite authors, and he is so down to earth and uh
• 17:15
  I call him a meat and potato writer.
• 17:18
  You know, he's nothing not d'oeuvres or any fancy stuff.
• 17:22
  It's just meat and potatoes.
• 17:24
  It's good stuff on leadership, relationship, communication, all of that.
• 17:30
  So I read a lot of his books, study his material.
• 17:34
  And even in the area of control of the beast, emotional intelligence, there's always new stuff coming out.
• 17:39
  And if you don't learn and if you don't personally grow.
• 17:43
  You're not going to stay on the cutting edge of whatever business you're in, whether it's electronics, whether it's AI, whether it's whatever.
• 17:53
  You've got to stay sharp in your profession.
• 17:56
  Therefore, you've got to learn.
• 17:58
  So, you know, leaders are readers, you know, they're also learners, or at least should be.
• 18:04
  So I I'm always growing.
• 18:06
  My my kids uh work with me close and I drive them crazy because I'm I ask questions, you know, and they're like, Dad, what do you?
• 18:15
  I said, I I just want to know.
• 18:16
  I'm I'm just curious.
• 18:18
  And it drives them nuts because dad, you're old enough to know this.
• 18:22
  No, I want to know what your perspective is.
• 18:24
  I want to see what other people's perspectives are.
• 18:26
  So again, good leaders ask good questions.
• 18:29
  And so we and and it's not because we're being nosy, it's not we're trying to quiz you, trap you.
• 18:37
  It's we want to learn.
• 18:39
  I want I want to know well what you're thinking behind that.
• 18:42
  I want to see your perspective.
• 18:44
  I want to see where you're coming from and all of that.
• 18:47
  And I believe that really helps me grow in the business of control the beast as well as the business of growing a church.
• 18:55
  I agree.
• 18:55
  Yeah.
• 18:56
  I'm doing reading the book How Successful People Grow by John Maxwell.
• 19:01
  And his first whole chapter is about be intentional about growth.
• 19:06
  He said, When we're children, you know, we just grow automatically.
• 19:09
  We don't realize the process that we go through.
• 19:11
  But as adults, we have to choose.
• 19:13
  And I think it's interesting that you've pointed out today that we have to choose to grow emotionally as well.
• 19:19
  We can read stuff about our business, but we also have to read stuff about ourselves, help ourselves grow, have those reflection times.
• 19:25
  I think you talked earlier in our conversation before the meeting about journaling, how important it is to get those things out of your head, get them on paper so you can
• 19:33
  actually see them, not just have them bouncing around in your head.
• 19:37
  Right, exactly.
• 19:39
  Could be and and that really brings another thought is you can be smart in your field of business, but if you're not intelligent intelligent about your emotions, you really can't
• 19:54
  handle the pressure of being in business.
• 19:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:58
  You know, you've got to learn how to handle your emotions.
• 20:00
  You gotta learn, okay, I need to breathe here, uh, I need to take a take a step.
• 20:05
  You know, years ago I was an executive in our fellowship's headquarters, and uh that that's a high pressure thing because when you're when you're on the national level, it's a
• 20:16
  corporation, but it's also a church.
• 20:18
  So it's cor I called it corporate church.
• 20:21
  You know, and we had secretaries and we had assistants and all that.
• 20:26
  Well, when one of them didn't get the job done, that they weren't they weren't behind the eight ball.
• 20:32
  I was.
• 20:33
  So they just put me behind the eight ball.
• 20:35
  So I had a choice and and the all of our assistants and everything was outside of our office, but it was an open air area.
• 20:44
  So all the other departments and their secretaries were all down.
• 20:48
  You know, we were on the third floor.
• 20:50
  So I can, you know, take her to the to the woodshed, take him to the woodshed and da da da.
• 20:55
  Or I can breathe a little bit.
• 20:57
  So I use one of my own anger management tactics when somebody dropped the ball and this thing's due tomorrow or whatever, I'll say, Hey, I'll be right back.
• 21:07
  And I I went and took a walk.
• 21:08
  I'd go outside, get some fresh air, pray a little bit, think things through, because that's another another thing in emotional intelligence is is to intellectualize your
• 21:18
  thought, your feelings.
• 21:19
  You've got to think it through.
• 21:22
  Before you, too many times people react before they think.
• 21:26
  And so you've that's something about leadership, something about owning a business is you've got to learn because those people look to you as a leader.
• 21:37
  So they're, you know, how you handle yourself is how they're gonna handle themselves.
• 21:43
  You're an influence.
• 21:45
  Absolutely.
• 21:45
  So how can somebody get in touch with you, brother?
• 21:48
  Uh I control the beast dot com.
• 21:50
  Uh that's our website.
• 21:52
  That's got everything there, books, all that stuff.
• 21:55
  Uh feel free to email me, E Snyder, E-S-N-Y-D-E-R, at control the beast dot com.
• 22:05
  I'm on social media, uh, Facebook, uh, of course, what is that?
• 22:09
  Facebook.com forward slash
• 22:11
  Control the beast, you know, we've got YouTube, we've got LinkedIn.
• 22:14
  Anybody wants to connect to us with LinkedIn, uh, I'm there, uh, Instagram, you know, whatever.
• 22:20
  There's lots of ways to get a hold of me.
• 22:23
  Well thanks for being with us today.
• 22:24
  Appreciate ya.
• 22:25
  Thank you, and I'm very honored to be a guest on your show.
• 22:28
  And I pray that God blesses you and you can reach thousands of people with your podcast.