Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 224 - What you say is rarely aligned to what you think.

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 224 - What you say is rarely aligned to what you think. · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, good morning, everybody. Welcome to the Chicken coop.
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  Today is General Observation Day and that big one for today is
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  that most of us rarely are aligned with what we say we
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  believe. So what do I mean by that?
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  We are rarely aligned with what we say we believe.
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  So there are always filters running in the background.
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  Different emotions as we've talked about them before, Who's
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  driving your bus? There are always different
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  emotions. And as I've told you, you can
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  have multiple emotions at the same time.
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  And sometimes we'll refer to these as filters and things
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  going on in the back of your head, so to speak.
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  But there is a predominant situation that takes place with
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  human beings where the words that come out of our mouth are
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  not necessarily aligned to what we believe and.
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  Part of that challenge that we have is that we're constantly
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  filtering for what other people think, how we have to show up
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  the the game we have to play to make sure that we don't offend
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  people say the wrong thing, show up the wrong way.
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  And so a lot of us, that most of us have a predominant situation
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  where we are misaligned, where we will have words come out of
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  our mouth, but those words not are not technically in line with
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  what our true beliefs are. If you've ever seen the movie
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  Liar, Liar with Jim Carrey, this is a funny version of a take on
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  this where it's everything that's inside of him that he
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  wants to say. He doesn't say, and in the
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  beginning he's just this incredible liar that just lies
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  about everything. But then his son puts a curse on
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  him and wishes him to be able to only tell the truth and he.
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  Just can't speak anything but the truth.
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  It's actually a very cute movie with a very cute premise, and
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  it's kind of like what happens to us internally, where we want
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  to say something but we have to filter it.
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  We want to say these words, but we don't know how to say them
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  constructively or in a way that wouldn't hurt the person's
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  feelings. Because I believe most of us are
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  good and we don't want to hurt other people's feelings.
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  So we try to find a way to say things and the best format we
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  possibly can, although it's not always resourceful.
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  But then a big chunk for where we are is that we just shut up,
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  totally misaligned, and we don't say the truth.
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  And then we wonder why we have struggles with people.
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  We wonder why we have these awkward interactions with
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  people. It's because somehow we are
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  misaligned with what we really believe and what we want to say
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  to them. So it causes an energetic rift,
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  if you will, between where we are.
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  Emotionally with them and what we truly believe and where we
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  are on on this plane with them, where we're trying to, you know,
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  interact with them, speak with them, have it work with them,
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  but but we just can't. And we say what is the problem
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  and we try to force it on another person.
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  But the truth is, we're not always saying how we really
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  feel. We're we're just not speaking
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  the truth. And therefore that's where the
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  struggle comes in. And I'm not saying to go out and
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  insult everybody and say everything that you think.
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  What I'm saying is we have to become artful about it and
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  figure out why we think what we think, so that we can then
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  figure out how to become aligned.
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  Look at this really closely in your most personal
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  relationships, because this is where it it really is a
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  challenge because we will be frustrated with partners, we
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  will be frustrated with children, we will be frustrated
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  with family members, and we just can't figure out how to
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  communicate with them because we're in our own place.
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  They're in their own place, and the struggle is real.
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  We can't get them to see through our filters.
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  But if you pause and you remember the rule when emotions
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  go up, intelligence goes down and you pull yourself back from
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  trying to influence somebody else into understanding where
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  you are. When you are emotionally
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  elevated, then you know that's a bad time to do it at that point
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  in time when you are emotionally elevated and you are trying so
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  hard to get them to understand you.
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  Most likely your intelligence is low at that point and you're not
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  capable of articulating everything that you want, so you
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  can't do it at that point in time.
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  You have to do it when it's the neutral zone.
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  You have to call a family meeting.
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  You have to get together with your crew and sit down and do it
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  when nobody is emotionally elevated and there's not a
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  pending. You know a situation that
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  everyone needs to discuss at a heightened level, and then you
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  will be able to tell the truth. You will be able to articulate
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  yourself. You will be able to make
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  decisions about how you want to communicate.
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  But it's always best to do these before you have you know an
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  actual situation. Arise and sit down and debrief
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  yourself. Where is this showing up?
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  Where am I misaligned with my beliefs and what I'm saying and
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  how I'm acting out with people? And I promise you, if you do
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  this, your relationships are going to get infinitely better.
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  So I hope you guys have a fantastic day.
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  Think about this and get some clarity for yourself about where
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  you're misaligned and you don't have to take immediate action
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  with it because you should sit with it.
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  You should decide on it before you actually do it.
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  Because remember, don't do it when your emotions are high,
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  because when emotions go up, intelligence goes down.
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  So I will speak to you guys tomorrow and I hope you have a
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  blessed day. Bye.