Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #264: Rethinking Relationship Anxiety

Transcript

Episode #264: Rethinking Relationship Anxiety · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome to tea time with Amy and Bev.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Hello, Hello house light.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Oh so I have something interesting to share. I think
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: it's interesting because I like numbers. I like, I'm not
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: an expert at numerology, but I know both of us
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: will pay attention to numbers, and so some things I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: realized recently. Bev and I typically at the end of
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: a year, we draw cards for each month for the
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: next year. You did that this year, Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I did too. And so in April. One of my
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: cards for April out of the card deck that I used,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was SEVENS. So here's the card says magic Happiness, Dreams
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: coming true. It's like, okay, you know, pay attention to
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the words. Did really well, gave more attention to the
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: words instead of the numbers. But anyway, I was like,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: well that's cool. So April unfolds and I put those
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: cards away and pull out Maze cards. And about a
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: week ago I started thinking, because you know, just going
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to the number thing. So I've mentioned before, but I'll
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: say it again. Three is very significant to me in
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: my life path and and all the things. And I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: see six two four, which is my birthday. I see
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: that a lot. So when you add six plus two
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: plus fours, twelve one plus two is three, so you
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: always in numerology reduce it down to one number, which
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: is between one and nine. So six two four and
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: four four four those two numbers I see frequently, so
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: both come to a three. So I was thinking about
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: my mom's birthday turned seventy five on Mother's Day. Okay,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: seven and five is twelve. That's three, okay, five eleven.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It's birthday twenty twenty five. Five plus one plus one
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: is seven. If you add the twenty twenty five, it's
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: a nine. It comes to sixteen. Six plus one is seven,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: so there's a seven. I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Then
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I'm in an organization where it's our seventy fifth anniversary.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: There's a three. On May twentieth, there's a seventh. Like wow,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: this is really cool. So we keep thinking about it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: And for this organization I'm in, I'll be the president.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: My presidency starts in the seventh month, and prior to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: that happening, so in June typically we do our board installation,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: so that's when I'll be installed as president. And then
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: once that's done, then we have what's called a president's
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: retreat where we have like a full day of getting
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: together with our organization and planning the next year. Well
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do it during the New Moon. Of
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: course I would, right, but it didn't work out. A
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: lot of people were going to be out of town.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. So we I said, Okay, it came
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: down to June twenty eighth. That's a seven. So just like,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: this is wild. So we just come, you know, come
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: to those we don't always understand. Like I again, I
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: was not paying attention to the numbers. Oh and by
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the way, seven plus seven plus seven is twenty one,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: which is a three. So there's that too. I just
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: thought of that anyway.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Just.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Those those validations or confirmations or guidance from from you know,
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: spirit beyond. Uh, It's it's just always there and when
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: we really give attention to it and recognize it. Wow.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I was just like, wow, this is a lot of
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of validation between those two months May and June.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: And it was pretty fun when I finally realized it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've actually been using my I mean I think
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: there's months that I might skip through and not even
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: hardly look at my my month, my monthly reading that
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I do, but I do do it and the numbers.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: You talk about the numbers, and something I've been doing
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: recently is every time I'm following the messages, So every
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: time I get a message, sometimes I'll see a number
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: and I know I have a no withinside of me
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: now because I've been doing it for so long, whether
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: that's some message for me or not for me right now,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: and so i've been I'll go put it into my
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: phone real quick and type it up so if I
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: don't have time to look at it right now, maybe
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I saw it in between clients or whatever, but I'm
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: putting it there so that I have the opportunity to
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: go look at it. I like to look at the
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: numbers right when we're doing that, we always know it's
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: divine timing. Just like you said you didn't even see
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: the number thing because it wasn't time. You weren't supposed
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: to see the number yet, you weren't supposed to see
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: it until now, and just start seeing where all the
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: synchronicities were at to let you know you're going on
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: your trail. But I've been writing getting all these numbers,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: the messages, whether it's a card, a message or whatever
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: it is, a song, verse, whatever pops into my head
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: because this stuff's been happening for a long time. Instead
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: of me just being like, oh, that's weird, you know,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I'm having that experience, I journal it. I put it
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: in my journal. So then I go back through my
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: journal and I start looking at what's the commonality, what's
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: the message been this whole time? And it is when
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I channel right, I get information and then when I
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: get the numbers, I get information that correlates and gives
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: me the synchronicities to the pre as messages that I received.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: It's constant, it's always there. Sometimes we shut down, and
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: so like for me lately, there's been a lot going
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: on in my life and people are coming and going,
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: and that's divine. Actually, you know, it's easy to find
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: yourself wanting to hold on to people because it's a
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: different level. Now I'm in a different space. So it's
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: like holding on trying to hold on to people and
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: keep them in that space. And it's like, no, I
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: have to let them go, not only for them, but
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I have to let them go for myself. So it's
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: like this whole journey that I'm going through right now,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: and it's been pretty freaking emotional the last couple of weeks.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: What is today? I didn't even know what today is?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: What Today's the eighteenth of me? Right? I mean, this
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: will come out whenever. Whenever it comes out, but it's like,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: it's just I find it fascinating because there's so much
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: stuff going on, and I have to ask for myself,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: why is this? You know, how is this happening for me?
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Not why is it happening to me? Something? There might
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: be some meth whords flying around because I'm doing my
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: own emotional stuff really, but like I said, it's been
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: an emotional rite. And then one of my kids decided
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: to tell me, Mom, why don't you go look up
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: what an attachment style? What attachment style you have? And
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, well,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: there's the tests. You can go look it up online.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: So I go in and type that in. Man, that
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: really muffed me up for a few days, honestly, because
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: there were emotions and feelings withinside of myself that I
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: couldn't express or didn't even know. I knew that it
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: was there, but I didn't know how to look at
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: it differently, and then I saw that and I'm like, man,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: it was so accurate avoidant. I mean, it was so
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: accurate for all this stuff. And it goes along with
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: you know, going through child trauma's emotional you know, just
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: sexual abuse, all that kind of stuff. They said it
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: can be a factor, and it's like, God, I'm looking
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: at that test and it's like it could be a
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: factor for so many But for me, it helped me
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: to look at some things and to recognize I have
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: attachments to people and it's learning how to like to
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: look at that and understand that's just an attachment that's
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: not for real, and I mean it's not for real,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: meaning it's outside of myself. So it's again to guide
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: me back into myself because I don't have people that
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like I can go talk to you about everything.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Not anymore. I feel like I can. I go within
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: myself and I have conversations with myself and my team,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: and that seems to me making a difference. But I
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: really feel like that's what the purpose of all everything
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: is is to guide me right back into myself. Honestly,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: So my victim could be boohoo, because there has been
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: a lot of emotional moments like that, but it's like
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I don't stay in that space and I ask for help,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: but I can tell you, like when the team comes
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: in and helps me, it's like it gives me the boost.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: And it's up to me at that moment to stay
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: in that space and to keep going higher or to
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: play a story or go back into the other space. Again,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: it's up to me. And so I'm kind of dabbling,
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I would say, dabbling between three D and five D,
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: and then I'm going back to the space and clearing,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: creating clearing. It's like it seems like it's a constant
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: thing lately, and and it's okay, Like before we even
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: started this, I'm like, I don't know what we're gonna
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: talk about. Hell, this is gonna go because it's like
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: that's I'm in a space where it's like I just
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: don't really care, honestly, and it's not a caring, it's
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: just I can't. I just can't anymore. I can't.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I don't have any more to give anymore. It's over
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: and so and things like that. I go through that
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: stuff too, not lie like I've had those experiences as well,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: and and I do a lot of inward reflection. When
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: it comes to things like that as well, I get
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: super quiet. I don't want to I'll go to work,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I'll do my thing, but I don't want to talk
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: to anybody, and I avoid conversations as much as I
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: can throughout the day and sit at my desk. I'll
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: put my earbuds in turn some like subliminal or hurts
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: music on and just do my work. And you know,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: go home and still all still doing. When I'm my
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: mind's not busy with work or something, then you know,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: still doing some inner reflection. Maybe I got to pull
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: out a book or grab a pen and paper, meditate
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: whatever that looks like. But I also know, like you
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: already said, why is this happening for me? And I
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: start contemplating that, why is this happening for me? What
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: is it I am to learn from this? And it
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't always come right away. I had an experience a
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. We have this, and maybe I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: talked about this already. We have this big, huge event
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: that we're doing at work every month, and one of
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: our my boss was gone, and we had back to
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: back events like one Friday night, one Saturday night, big right,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: and I was the go to person. And I got
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: to a point because things what I thought was laid
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: out and taken care of, we're not. And things just started,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: like the house of cards, right, just start crumbling. And
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I started getting angry. And I'm like, in the moment,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I was just taking in that energy and I was
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: owning it, and I was just like, right, what I
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: did recognize? And I did throw some F bombs at
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: work and some MF bombs, and of course later I
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, I could have done a lot better
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: with that one, but you didn't. And this is how
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: we learn. And so I really had to take some
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: time and think about why did I feel angry? What
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: was that about? What triggered that in me? And it
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: took a few days, and what I realized was when
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I feel out of control. So it used to be
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: a feel of overwhelm. It wasn't overwhelmed, it was control.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: When I felt out of control, I get angry. Now
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: that level of anger was much less than it was
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: in his in my history, So that was a plus.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: To recognize something was out of sorts and what was
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: it in me that was being triggered? That's a plus, right,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Having this self awareness and just being mindful of why
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: did I show up the way I showed up? What
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: was it about me? In me? What am I storing
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: still in my body? Those emotions that I haven't those
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: layers right that haven't come up yet. And we're giving
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: these opportunities for this stuff that has been buried inside
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: of us. We have those opportunities for that stuff to
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: come up, and in the moment we're not We're not.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: We're going to be in it. We're going to be
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: in those emotions. We're gonna be in that heaviness, and
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: we're just gonna own it like we we always have.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: And knowing that because I have a heightened self awareness,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I know I'm going to be able to sift through
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: it and recognize what triggered me and when it came
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: to when I feel out of control, I get angry.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Now I have something to work with. Now I realize it,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: and now I can go like, Okay, well, I'm gonna
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: get plenty of opportunity to practice this, There's no doubt,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: especially with the with the job I have, And I'm
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: going to be very aware of that now and I'm
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: and I'm and next time I'll do a little better.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: I might not be great. I'm not not like win
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: a gold medal for my behavior. And I say that
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: to myself, like give myself a gold medal. I might
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, well, you did a little better this time.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: You threw less F bombs, but you still threw the
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: F bomb, right, So just allowing myself that ease and
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: grace as I learn and grow. We're all doing this
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: where if we choose to write that word choice, if
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: we choose to So, yeah, I don't I don't get
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: it right all the time, but I know I'm doing
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: better than I used to. And that's huge. That is
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: so huge to me. And so I just keep working
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: with that. And I admitted it to my boss because
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: she wasn't there when it all happened. I said, listen,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I threw F bombs. People heard me. Can't change it.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I know what I did. I know I felt out
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: of control. I got angry, and this is how I
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: showed up and I know I could and I just
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: totally told her. And for me to even do that, man,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: that's like before I would have been shaken and crying
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and you know, beat myself up. I would have hung
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: onto that stuff for months and I was like this
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: is this is what happened, this is what I did.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I say, you write me up if you want to
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: like our our like what's called like considered the president
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: of our board was in the presence of me throwing
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: these f bombs. I'm like, you guys want to write
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: me up whatever, I wouldn't blame you one bit because
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: this is what I did and I'm totally own it.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: So that person who showed up like that to take
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: responsibility and own the way she showed up, would have
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: never done that in the past.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I would have been hiding my tail, took between my
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: knee on my legs. I would have been crouched in
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: a corner and avoiding everybody because I didn't want to
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: get in trouble. I didn't want to get you know,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: go to your room. You're in trouble, be isolated all
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: the things. You're not good enough right the vout just
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: to confirm I'm not good enough. I'll just call myself
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: out now. And just as to what I did, what
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: do you want to do about it? Because I'll own it.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I'm good with it now. Because nobody on this plant
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: is perfect, and if you think you are, I'm going
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: to say, you're probably lying to yourself, but there's that.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Well, and it's an opportunity for the emotions to come forward,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: right And I think I don't know if I said
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: this before. We were kind of talking about it, maybe recently,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: but just talking about being allowed to feel your emotions,
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: being allowed to have those feelings. When we were kids,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: we were told to suck it up, buttercup, rub some
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: dirt on it, go out and play. You're okay, you're okay.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Now are you okay? You're okay, you're fine, you can
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: go do your thing. It was always that kind of stuff.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: So it was not not being allowed to feel the emotions.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: And that was what came up for me recently. It's
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: okay for me to fill those emotions and there's nothing
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: wrong with me, because I would say there's something wrong
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: with me if someone leaves my life and I have
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: an emotion about it, I would before I would have
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: said something is wrong with me. I kept going through
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: this whole process, what did I do wrong? All these
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: other things, and then recognizing it has nothing to do
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: with me. I didn't do anything wrong, and I and
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: if it was perceived anyway like that, okay, nothing I
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: can do about it. Again, that when I show up
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: in the perspective of somebody else is up to them
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: from where they're at that moment. So it's like it's
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: just all that presented new feelings, that presented the opportunity
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: to know it's okay, bath for you to feel these emotions.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It's okay, Nicki, because I was Nicki when I was
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: a little girl. It's okay, Nicki. And I'm not going
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: to say little Nikki because there was a nice there's
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: a nice show behind that. But it's just talking to
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: letting her know it's all right, it's okay for you
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: to feel this. You're gonna be okay. Let's just feel
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: it and let it get out. And I can tell
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: you with every single thing that's come forward, I might
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: struggle in that moment. To be able to meditate, to
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: be able to writing is easy. That that I can
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: start getting it out of me and I feel better
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: after that and then I can meditate. But it's like
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: this process and so I'm kind of just learning where
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: do I gravitate to help raise my frequency to not
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: stay in that space. And it's been lots of different stuff.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I joined the gym and so I go to the
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: gym and stuff like that. Again, there's just things that
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I'm doing doing differently now, processing a lot of things,
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: all everything that has shown up in my life recently,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: and it is it's like the carpet has been pulled
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: out from underview because it can't stay the way that
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: it was. Those were not strong foundations. They were not
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: strong foundations. They were built on old emotions and old template.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I'm not even the same person anymore. So it's like
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: there's no resonance. And so it's just recognizing that these
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: things happening. To ask your team to help bring you
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: into a neutral space so that you can see it
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: maybe from a different perspective, or how can I see
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: this differently? At asking angels, how can I see this differently?
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: There's like so many ways. But when we're in the
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: buck of things, sometimes it is the m efforts and
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: sometimes it is the efforts and all that stuff that
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: comes out because that's like a way for us to
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: express ourselves. It's almost like a little bit of a
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: timber tantrum. But we need to do that. We need
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: to operate the way same way kids do because but
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: once we get it out, it's it's done, right, it's
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: we don't have to deal with it anymore. It's done. Yeah,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: but like you said, we can instead of it happening
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: at it in a group gathering like that. Have I
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: shown up that way? Sure, in a group gathering. Yeah,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: But we won't do it again, and maybe next time
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: we'll be like, have a little notebook stuck in your
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: pocket and be like, I really have to go to
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the bathroom.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: What the fuck is going That's a good idea, you know,
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: all all the feelings and emotions that we might have
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: and putting on that piece of paper and walking back
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: out and being like hi, and you you could.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Just sit there. Effort, effort, effort, am effort, over and
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: over and over again. It's okay. It's just whatever works
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: for us to be able to transition from that space
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: to the next space. And the thing is, I feel
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: like we're all going through this. Nobody has tools and
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: they're going through this shit. Come on in, let's have
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: a conversation. But because it's it's tough, it's tough for me.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's tough if you didn't have those tools,
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: because I can rely on those tools to be there.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Those things that have been beneficial that are outside of me,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: but it helps all of those tools do is taking
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: me right back into myself and it takes me into
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: the now right now.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, and uh, just remembering to use the tools.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Like you said, when we're in it, we get amnesia,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: we get spiritual amnesia or healing amnesia or what tools
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: do use amnesia because we did just go all out
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: of the out of the mind and we have our
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: temper tantrum because we're wrapped up in that energy and
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: it is it's allowing yourself to move through it. And
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: then what was that all about? And when you said
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: temper tantrum, I'm like, yep, that's what That's what I did.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I had a temper tantrum.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: That's yeah, it feels it's to me, those are very
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: important moments for us to have those. Now I could
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: walk outside.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Just thinking about and adding that to uh. You know,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: when you grew up in an abusive home, you're out
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: of control. This other person, who is a giant next
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: to your little body, is in control. They get to navi,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: they get to decide what the narrative is. And if
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: you do something wrong as a child and they don't
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: like it, that's how they they have a temper tantrum, right,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: they get they start throwing the cuss words and yelling
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: and screaming and and all the things. And so as
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: a little person, we take that in. I'm going to
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: take that information in because this is what we do
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: when somebody does something thing you don't like you Yeah, scream,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: cus whatever. Maybe somebody you know might hit hit them
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: or for me, I'm going to be blessed that I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: wasn't hit. However, mental and emotional abuses just as damaging.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: So so learned behavior because I had to have come somewhere.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I had to learn that behavior from somewhere. I didn't
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: just come into this world think Okay, when I get
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: out of control, I'm going.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: To get angry. No, I'm going to autopilot. I'm going
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: to autopilot this behavior because it feels so good afterwards.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm reconsidering that.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I say it like that because I've done it. I
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: mean I've had I've been in that space and it's
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: like I just feel like and it's it's hearing the kids,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: it's hearing my grandkids. It's because it's like I've tell
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: my kids, it's you're hearing your inner child. That's your
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: inner child right now, that that video right there, that
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: culture right there, that that's your inner child right now.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: And you're having a reaction to their behavior right now
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: because they because you were taught that that was bad,
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that it was bad, right. And we've
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: talked about this not that long ago, but I feel
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: like it's just coming to the service more. And it's
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: not to say our parents were bad, because it's not
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: about that. It's about learning what we needed to learn
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: from that and being better. My my granddaughters, but they
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: my kids, grand grandkids have been staying the night once
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: a week. Once stays a night Monday nights because she
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: does online schooling and we can do the online schooling
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: in the morning when she's here. The other one stays
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: on Friday nights, so it comes into Friday afternoon and
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: have them until whatever Saturday, spending time with them. Well,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: one of them she wanted my granddaughter wanted to go home,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: and she had wanted to go home one time. And
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: this just reminds me of the kids not being heard right,
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: And it's just these little tiny things that us big
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: people think that it's not a big deal. It's not
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: a big deal. Just stay Oh no, it's you can
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: just go ahead and stay there, you know, come home tomorrow.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Otherwise you're just gonna miss You're going to be upset
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: because you came home, You're not staying at Grandma's south
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: all this other stuff, which was fine, not saying anything
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: about about anybody, but because it was like we were
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: all in agreements. Okay, it's late, let's just get you know,
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: let's just go to sleep or whatever. And so this
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: last week she decided she like, say twenty five, She's like,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to go home, and I'm like, okay, because
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: it was bedtime. And I said, okay, well we'll call mom.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: So we call mom and Mom says, okay, I'm on
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: my way out, and I said, okay, I'll meet you wherever.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And then I'm driving with her and I and because
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: we need to be heard, we need to be heard,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: we need to hear about little kid inside of us.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: And she tells me, I said, so, what's really going on?
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Bee?
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: And she says, well, Grandma, I felt trapped last time.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I felt trapped because I wanted to go home and
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I was trapped and I couldn't go and I had
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: to stay here. I was trapped here. And I said, well,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: those are pretty big strong words to be using. And
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I said, I understand where you're coming from. And I'm
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: so happy that you shared that with me. And I said,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: because it's important, important for them to know that they're
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: being heard. And we we don't as adults, don't always
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: recognize how we can push through because we learned how
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: to bucket up. Buttercup, put some dirt on it. You're
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: going to be fine, Get over it, go to sleep.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I don't care. And it's not that our parents didn't care,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: and it's not that I never cared. It's just we
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: didn't have more to give in that moment. And so
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: that's what that's. This is the product of what came
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: from that environment. So it's like I'm okay, so I'm
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: figuring out me now and that's so that's where all
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: this guidance comes in. And it's like these littles that
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: are around my kids, anybody that comes into my experience
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: is so much an opportunity for me to look at
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: myself in a more loving way instead of getting into
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: the point where I'm telling everyone to eat shit and
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I'm on my way out the door.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just because and then this way I look
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: at at people, and so I'll use your granddaughter as
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: an example for me, and that when I hear that,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: then I turn that question around as to how do
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I feel trapped? How how does my little person feel trapped?
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: And I'll turn that around to me and and take
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: a look at that at different angles, and do I
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: feel trapped at work and my relationship at home, or
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: like where do I feel that way because I'm hearing
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: this or witnessing this for a reason and or involved
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: in this and for a reason. So but I do
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: that just with people. If I overhear conversation, I'm like, oh,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I'm hearing that for a reason, And then I'll start
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: processing those words for myself and just take an inventory
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: of how I'm doing and and for me, that is
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: a daily practice. I do that on a daily with
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: not every person, a lot of people. Yeah. I look
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: at their behavior, the way they're acting, the words they use,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: their body language, and man, I'm like whoo, or it's
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: like wow, I want I want that. I want that.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I want to know how to do that right, and
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I want to take that in and put that and
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: anchor that into my body. So it's it's on both sides.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: It's the stuff I don't like and the stuff I
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: do like about people that I will take it and
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: look at it for.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Me nice And I just did that recently, just with VIVI,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: just even yesterday, because I was telling the story and
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: then it was presented to me that way, so it
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: made me reflect on it, which normally I have been
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: in the habit of looking at a lot of that's
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: just like what you had described, and looking at a
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: lot of things. Why things are showing up? Where am
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: I at with these things? How is how can I
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: grow from it? Like you know, because pressure sometimes helps
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: us move forward. I've actually been contemplating. I sent out
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: a message to all my clients to ask them how
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: they feel about just home treatments because it would save
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: money out of my pocket to do it, but also
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: my time was valuable too, so it's like really weighing
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: out all the options. But I really asked everybody to
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: get their input so I can make a decision in
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: a few months, you know, down the road to make
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: those decisions, and it's like just really feeling things and
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: then you know, before that happened. I'm moving my massage
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: table busted as screwed and I had to go buy
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: it was a big long screw and it busted out
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: of it. So like there's just these little messages that
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: are coming forward. And so instead of me before I
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: would assume, oh, well that you know what that means,
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: I'm asking. I'm asking and waiting for a response. I'm
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: asking my team and asking for this healing. You know,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: my by what we talked about, our our twelve month thing.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: And then mine's got healer of the ages, and it's
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: and then it says, Jesus is with you now bringing
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: resolution to physical, mental, and emotional bodies. And I will
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: tell you this has tied into when I start really
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: reflecting and looking at this stuff, Oh you stop it.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I already see something that's I know that He's very
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: much in my experience right now because I am going
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: through this healing, and I know this stuff can't come
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: to the surface without something triggering it. Where where all
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: end up down the road from all this, I don't know.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I don't even care. It's just like it's just the journey.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: It's just the journey, and that goes along with that
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: attachment style again, holding on to control or how you
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: want things to look, and it's like I don't care.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, friends, this is a there's a big conversation
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: and there's a lot in it, and I would really
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: recommend going back and listening because, uh, there's probably something
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: in here that you heard with where you're at with
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: yourself and and just implement whatever it is that resonated
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: with you that you could use. And I would say
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: go back and listen to it again, because this is
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: one of those one of those conversations where you going
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: to listen to it again and you're going to swear
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: we change something about it. Where I don't do any
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: editing of our videos. What you see is what you get.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And but you will listen to this again and you'll
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: be like, I don't remember there send them saying that
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: we did. You just weren't in at the at the
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: point of your with yourself to be able to hear
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: what was being said. And we hear things on different
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: levels depending on where we're at in our journey. So
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: just know you're not alone. Bev and I are having
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: temper tantrums too, So it's okay, you're out here kicking
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: and screaming too as we bump around in life and
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: figure it out. But that's why we come together, is
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: to share these stories, to share what's working for us
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: and to let you know, like there's we're two people
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: of billions and then you. So that's three that are
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: having these experiences. So just know you're we are not
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: the only three in the planet that are doing this.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: So but the goal is to be and do better.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: The goal is to learn to embrace life, live in,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: enjoy more often, to use these experiences as growing and
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: learning for growing and learning purposes, and it is a
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: journey for our spirit, for our expansion of our spirit.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: That's the way I feel. And I'm I look at
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: myself as a student and I just keep want to
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: get I just want to get better and better at
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: this h this way of being. Am I going to
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: get a perfect this lifetime? I don't know. It's questionable,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: but at least I'm practicing and I keep going. And
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: that was a choice I decided years ago, is to
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: keep going. So be courageous, have these conversations with other people,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Be resourceful, let them know where they can find these videos,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: the information, whether it's us, whether it's a book you
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: read or some other podcasts, a spiritual teacher you might
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: be following, and because there are a lot of people
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: on the planet that's seeking information like this, so just
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: be the resource doesn't mean you have to have the conversation.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: So you can find us on many platforms. We're here
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: on YouTube, Facebook, speaker, Spotify, iHeartRadio, podcast Attic, so we're
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: in multiple places to be found. We do appreciate your
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: time and energy for hanging out with us and listening.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: And do you have any final words bev.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: I'll just let everybody know, take time for yourself, everybody,
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: because even for your situation that you're going through, sometimes
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: it's just a I need a few minutes for myself.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: But we also know there's a lot of weight on
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: our shoulders to make sure that something's done perfectly, you
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: know what I mean. We want to leave our mark
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: that way, but it's just taking time for self, maybe
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: taking that few minutes in the bathroom to write down
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: MTh a few times or whatever, because believe me when
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: I say it, it's a tool that's a very valuable
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: tool to be able to write those things down that
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: you've been doing for a long time and I've only
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: been doing for probably a couple of years, so.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Nice. Thank you all right, my friends, teach time with
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Amy and Bev. Thanks for being here and we'll catch
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you next time.