Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / Should parents still be forcing teenagers to attend family gatherings they don't want to attend?

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Should parents still be forcing teenagers to attend family gatherings they don't want to attend? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang. Hey, wake up! Anele and
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the Club on 947.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: If there are family plans and then your teenager decides, no,
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: they don't want to go along to the family plans,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: or maybe like you guys have said, okay, Sunday lunch,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: we're going to the Ocean Basket.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: And then the teenager's like, no, I'd rather stay at home,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: no thanks. Or maybe Sunday lunch is at Nana's house
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: or Friday night there's a games night at your brother's
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: house and their kids are there and you guys are
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: there as a family. Just when there are family plans
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: and then you've reached the point where your teenager doesn't
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: want to go along with you guys any longer, do
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: you force them?
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Because teenagers reach a point where they can now– Actuate
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: their self-determination. And they can say, I don't think that
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: I should be joining you. I'm going to stay home
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: and play games. I don't think you can force them
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: to go.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Can you?
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: 100% you're forcing them.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Oh, really?
• 1:00
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 1:01
  Speaker 5: Because it's so much easier for a teenager to stay
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: home because they've got the whole world on their phone, right?
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: But you need them to come sit at a restaurant
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: to sit and talk to you because that's a soft skill.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Sitting in a bored environment.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: speaking to adults around you, small talk, you know, the
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: stuff we do every day in the office.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So where do they learn that?
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: They learn that growing up. So they learn that by
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: going to sit and listen to adults talk and then
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: engage with the waiter, all the basic things. You live
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: under my roof.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You're coming where we're going. There we go. I'm so
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: glad you just got to the final line.
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: Unless you're writing an exam tomorrow and you need to
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: study like it's important, etc.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: And there's a valid reason.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: But generally, no.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: But even then, I think you kind of have to
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: earn my trust in you to be able to stay
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: at home and study without being monitored.
• 1:51
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 1:51
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Because you could just be like, oh, no, I've got
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: exams and I want to study. And then you're sitting
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: and playing Fortnite the entire time. I think if the
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: family has plans, you are coming with because as a family,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: the adults in this household made plans for the family.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: The people who run this family made plans to go
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: visit another family.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: So you're going to come with. And Cindy's right.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Because I listen to a lot of people like, oh,
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: I hate small talk. My angel small talk is what's
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: going to get you everything you want in the world
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: because you're.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Not just going to have big talks, right?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: You're not just going to fall out of nowhere and
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: start discussing.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: 10 million rent deals.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: 10 million rent deals, are started by what?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Small talk.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Caring about what the other person is saying. Then you
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: have a conversation. So where are you going to learn that?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: By just going out and having chats with people that
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: you feel, oh, this is boring.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but does it mean that as a teenager, I
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: have to go to all of these? I get it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I get it. We'll go to most of them. But
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: every now and again, I don't want to join you guys.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I'm going to stay home.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: So at which age are you allowing your teenager then
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: to say?
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Well, I think it's like 17. Okay.
• 2:56
  Speaker 9: 16, 17.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm happy with 17.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: Is that when you'll say yes?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's when... Because we also now.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: Cindy's shaking her head.
• 3:05
  Speaker 7: Oh, not 17.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: 21.
• 3:06
  Speaker 9: Oh. 21?
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: So after 18, you've gone off to varsity. What you
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: do at varsity during the week, I can't have control over.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: But there are certain things. We are a family. We
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: go to family things together. Unless there's a valid reason. Yes,
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: I'm not excusing. Not all families get along.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: But.
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  Speaker 5: Also, not all families get along. It's a good place
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: for you to learn how to handle conflict.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: So you are robbing children of soft skills, which are
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: actually very valuable for when they get into the workplace
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: because now you go to work and your boss asks
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: you a question and he's quite authoritative like your uncle
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: would be and now you don't know how to reply
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: because you've never come across against an older uncle who's
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: challenged you.
• 3:48
  Speaker 9: So is it a blanket rule or is it a
• 3:52
  Speaker 9: terms and conditions apply sort of situation to a let's
• 3:55
  Speaker 9: say there are eight big family things in a year,
• 3:58
  Speaker 9: do you have to go to all of them, let's
• 4:00
  Speaker 9: say at 16, or just majority?
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's a terms and conditions apply either way.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Because if it's a blanket rule that you come to everything,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's fair. But if it's a blanket
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  Speaker 2: rule that you've decided that you are a teenager and
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: you don't go to anything because everything is boring and oh,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: you know.
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  Speaker 4: I don't want to go.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this family is not a safe space for my
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: mental state. You know what I'm saying? Then you go
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: to nothing. Then that's also wrong.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: And then you turn around as a parent and you go,
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: my child doesn't listen to me when I tell them
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: they have to do things. It's like, yes, because you've
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: allowed them the freedom of choice for everything else. And
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: I'm not saying rob your children of freedom of choice.
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: There's discussions around everything, but.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: This is where it is. This is our rule.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: This is how it goes.
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  Speaker 1: 011-8838-947.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I want to hear from parents and teenagers alike, right? Teenagers,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: do you expect us to respect you when you say.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Respect your choice... when.
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  Speaker 2: You say no you don't want to go to a
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: family thing and how does it work how many family
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: things are you going to then attend yeah.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: And does it does that cause a massive fight in
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  Speaker 4: the house.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Yes and then parents jump in here as well how
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: are you navigating the ever-changing you know uh preferences of
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: your teenage children because sooner or later they're out of
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: the house right um If they say they don't want
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: to come to a family braai, you say thumbs up
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: and you leave them?
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Or do you put your foot down and say, no,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: my angel, you are family. It is a family braai.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: We're going.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Connect the dots. Go put on your shoes. We are
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: absolutely going.
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: 084-0000947.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: How does this work in your household? The past Saturday,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: there was a wedding. And it was four hours in
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  Speaker 1: another province, basically.
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  Speaker 7: My teenager didn't want to go.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: So he ended up staying in the car the entire wedding.
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  Speaker 1: I've learned a lesson not to force them to come
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  Speaker 1: with us.
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  Speaker 4: This is not a democracy. You're living under my roof.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: You'll do what I say.
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  Speaker 8: Plans are not negotiable.
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  Speaker 1: You go out as a family, all of us. Because
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: it's been planned.
• 6:07
  Speaker 8: Honestly, I feel.
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  Speaker 7: Like we're giving teenagers too much power and too much
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  Speaker 7: free reign in this day and age. I was never
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  Speaker 7: asked as a teenager if I wanted to tag along
• 6:15
  Speaker 7: or not.
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  Speaker 3: I did reach a point at some stage where I
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: was like, no, I don't want to go.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: But this is, at what age was that?
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Around 17. Yeah, because we.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Like the 17-year-old in Almut, he now wants to start
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  Speaker 2: going on holiday by himself.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, at 17, my darling.
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  Speaker 4: With his friends?
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  Speaker 6: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 5: And to the lady that like said her child was
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: sitting in the car for four hours and she goes,
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: I learned my lesson. No, your child learned their lesson.
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  Speaker 5: Next time they're going to come along and they can
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  Speaker 5: choose if they're sitting in the car or they're coming.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Outside and they're dancing and having a good time. Lina,
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  Speaker 1: you're in Pimble. Good morning.
• 6:49
  Speaker 10: Good morning, Anilene.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Morning, Lina. How are you doing?
• 6:53
  Speaker 10: I'm good, thanks.
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  Speaker 1: Good talk to you guys. Okay, we're good, we're good.
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  Speaker 1: Is everybody good, Timbukili?
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  Speaker 4: Sandy?
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Oh, no, we don't have time, Timbukili.
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  Speaker 9: I'm the teenager.
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  Speaker 1: He's forced to be at work, Lina. What do you
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  Speaker 1: think we should be doing in this situation?
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  Speaker 10: We're definitely forcing them.
• 7:12
  Speaker 9: Why?
• 7:14
  Speaker 10: Family values. They need to understand that even if we
• 7:19
  Speaker 10: are not getting along as a family, We're going to
• 7:22
  Speaker 10: go there. We're going to talk to each other. And
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  Speaker 10: I say this because I come from the township and
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  Speaker 10: I see how men especially hang around in the corners
• 7:33
  Speaker 10: on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. They're not with their families
• 7:36
  Speaker 10: because they were never forced to be part of a
• 7:40
  Speaker 10: family system. So if you allow that, it's going to go,
• 7:44
  Speaker 10: it's supposed over into adulthood. They won't be able to
• 7:48
  Speaker 10: sit in a boardroom. They won't be able to sit outside.
• 7:51
  Speaker 10: in teen buildings because they are being allowed from home.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: And they won't be able to sit at a school
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: for a school meeting for your parents' evening or they
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: won't be able to sit at your child's school for
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: a school concert because they were just never taught to
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: show up for family because.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: That's what it is. You're just simply showing up for family.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I agree with you, Lina.
• 8:12
  Speaker 8: Yes, definitely.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And in terms of holiday, wait, how old are your kids?
• 8:19
  Speaker 10: I've got a 22-year-old, a 21-year-old, a 16, and a 10-year-old.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: Okay, cool.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: So at which age are they allowed to then to
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: not go on family holidays and they can go with
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: their own people?
• 8:32
  Speaker 10: At the moment, they have not had a choice. I
• 8:37
  Speaker 10: think when they're 23, 24. But we are a family
• 8:41
  Speaker 10: and we're going together. Whether you like it or not,
• 8:44
  Speaker 10: we are a family. And I'm just doing this so
• 8:47
  Speaker 10: that my son and my daughter can understand the importance
• 8:52
  Speaker 10: of being around each other. Extended family. It's very important
• 8:57
  Speaker 10: because one day I won't be here.
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: And you guys have to have a relationship where you
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: guys want to be around each other because you're family.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 9:08
  Speaker 10: And you're extended family as well. So they know that
• 9:12
  Speaker 10: they have time for their cousins. We do that every month.
• 9:17
  Speaker 10: Whether they're talking to their cousins or not, they're going
• 9:19
  Speaker 10: to make up. Because I will not be here. Their
• 9:22
  Speaker 10: father will not be here. They must be able to
• 9:25
  Speaker 10: go to someone in their family and seek for help
• 9:28
  Speaker 10: or say, how do we deal with this? If you've
• 9:31
  Speaker 10: never taught them, it's going to be a problem.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Give her a round of applause.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: She's right.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: It also gives you a.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: Like almost a sense of security that there is a
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: wider unit.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Outside of you.
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: Because these days as humans we've become like we're living
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: in silos and we feel like we can't reach out
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: to each other. Going to family events and meeting extended
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: family lets you know that you're part of a bigger thing.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know I had a choice. I was
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: not given a choice.
• 9:59
  Speaker 7: And they were when I went to university and then
• 10:01
  Speaker 7: I came back and I never knew that I had
• 10:03
  Speaker 7: a choice to not go. Well, I've got two teenage
• 10:06
  Speaker 7: boys in my household, the oldest, the 17 year old.
• 10:09
  Speaker 7: Like ever since he was a baby, he didn't want
• 10:12
  Speaker 7: to come with me to the mall with a younger brother. Yeah,
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: he's really not really a person that likes to go
• 10:19
  Speaker 7: around and whatever, socialize, whatever. But what I do now,
• 10:24
  Speaker 7: you're not coming with me when we're going out. You
• 10:27
  Speaker 7: don't get any food because that's where it hits.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Food, baby boy. Ernest, you and Alberton, good morning.
• 10:33
  Speaker 6: Good morning to you.
• 10:34
  Speaker 8: How are you, team?
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: We're great, Ernest.
• 10:36
  Speaker 10: How are you?
• 10:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm right. I think, you know, there's two things.
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  Speaker 6: First of all, if you instruct him to do everything
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: all the time, Give them no decision. Where do they
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: get their decision-making skills from? Wouldn't it be better if
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: you explained to them what's important for them to attend
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: and convince them that it's better for them going forward
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: and let them decide that way. Come a time, you
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: say you will go.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I was going to ask, let's say after all of
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: the negotiation and after all the explanation, they still say
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: they don't want to go.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Then what?
• 11:11
  Speaker 6: Well, depending on the importance of it, if it's... to pain.
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: No choice. But you've got to let them learn to
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: make their own decisions.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I find as well? I find helps.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Because we're parents, right, and we're the adult, we like to,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: you know, instruct things and immediately, like, it's like, we're
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: going now. But I find if you tell people ahead
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: of time, hey, on Sunday there's this thing, who's going
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: to be there?
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. It's a family thing. I
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: think we should all go.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Just think about it and we'll chat about it tomorrow.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: That way you've given them the power and the agency
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: of thinking about it, deciding, weighing up the pros and cons,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: looking at other things. Oh no, Man City's playing at
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: three o'clock. Will there be a TV for me to
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: be able to watch the soccer game? Then you say, yes,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: other people are also going to watch the soccer or
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: the rugby or whatever. That way it's an ongoing conversation.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I find that my son, he like, he kind of
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: like tenses up when I give him something that has
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: to happen and we're going now.
• 12:15
  Speaker 8: It's almost like.
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: We're leaving in two hours.
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: You tend to build up a bit of resentment with
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: all the instruction. You will, you will, you will.
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: Mm, mm.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: You've got a great point.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: But this is the reason why a lot of parents
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: let it slide. Because they don't want to build up
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: the resentment.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: But also, there is a certain level of resentment that
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: your kids should have for you. No, but guys, this
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: thing of wanting to be liked by your kids, like.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I just think touch and go. You shouldn't be your kids' friends.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I always say I'm friendly with my children. I'm not
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: their friend.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: There are some decisions that I am going to make
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: as the parent and you are simply going to go
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: with it and you can be dick back all you like,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: my angel. You are going to be fine. You don't
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: cry blood.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Jason, you're in Mayors now.
• 13:03
  Speaker 6: Morning.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Morning, Jason.
• 13:04
  Speaker 8: So just to build up on what you said, with
• 13:11
  Speaker 8: letting people know in advance or letting kids know in advance.
• 13:14
  Speaker 8: My mom used to do that. So I didn't really
• 13:16
  Speaker 8: have a choice. She'll say, Sunday we're going here and
• 13:19
  Speaker 8: at this time. So I felt like I didn't have
• 13:21
  Speaker 8: a choice, but it did not make me tense up,
• 13:26
  Speaker 8: as you say. Also attending family functions, for example. It's
• 13:32
  Speaker 8: not like, yes, you deal with conflict, but also you
• 13:34
  Speaker 8: see the whole picture. So I'll give an example. My cousin,
• 13:40
  Speaker 8: she's not on talking terms with her dad, but yet
• 13:42
  Speaker 8: I only hear one side of the story because I
• 13:44
  Speaker 8: don't see my cousin. But now when I attend these
• 13:46
  Speaker 8: family functions, I see that, oh no, the dad's not
• 13:50
  Speaker 8: all in the right because I also see the perspective
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: of my cousin. And because of that conflict management, I'm like, ah,
• 13:57
  Speaker 8: so because I've attended this event, I see the.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: Picture as a whole.
• 14:00
  Speaker 8: If I didn't attend these family functions, I wouldn't hear
• 14:03
  Speaker 8: from the dad part of the story.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: And then it's like, yeah, the dad is right, the
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: adults are right, the adults are right. But once you
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: get to attend a function where your cousin is, then
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: you can see, but no, man, my cousin actually has
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: a point here.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: This guy is the one that's in the wrong.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 14:20
  Speaker 8: How old are you now?
• 14:23
  Speaker 6: I'm 24.
• 14:24
  Speaker 8: So as a former teenager, and I know a lot
• 14:26
  Speaker 8: of teenagers are going to hate me, they should attend
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: these functions or these family events.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, Jason, and that's your point here.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: Your reason as a teenager to not attend is maybe
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: a very important reason for you in this moment.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: But down the road, and that's what you're saying, down
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: the road.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: You're really glad your mom forced you to go because
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: it did force you to build relationships that you wouldn't.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: Have built otherwise. Yes.
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: And if I can just add one more thing. So
• 14:53
  Speaker 8: sometimes at a family function event, there's no family member there,
• 14:57
  Speaker 8: but there'd be like a financial director or a CFO, CIO.
• 15:02
  Speaker 8: And then you learn posture, how to hold conversations. Because
• 15:05
  Speaker 8: I work in recruitment at Executive Search. Now I know
• 15:08
  Speaker 8: how to have those conversations with the senior people. I'm
• 15:11
  Speaker 8: like a junior consultant, but I know how to have
• 15:12
  Speaker 8: the conversation, have the posture, what to say, what not
• 15:15
  Speaker 8: to say, when to speak. So not only about family events.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, because even in that moment, like I get the
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: family events I used to attend, right? We'd get there,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: hang out a bit with the adults, and then you
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: break into silos of.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Your age groups, right?
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: And then when it's time to eat, we then all
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: come together.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: And then we're having all these conversations. And you're right, Jason.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: That's actually where I learned to have this free flow
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: conversation with adults. and you're just chatting with them. Even now,
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: when I host lunches at my house, I insist that
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: kids sit with us when we're eating so that they
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: can have conversations with adults. And then afterwards, you guys
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: can go play soccer, you're going to swim, you're watching TV, you're.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Playing TV games. But there has to be a moment
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: where we are all together because that's where you learn
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: social skills.
• 16:00
  Speaker 8: Yes, I agree with that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Jason, we agree with you.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: We agree, Jason.
• 16:05
  Speaker 8: I know a lot of teenagers are going to dislike
• 16:07
  Speaker 8: me for saying that, but they should attend.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: It's fine.
• 16:09
  Speaker 8: As a former teenager.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: They need jobs.
• 16:11
  Speaker 8: I was a teenager six years ago, so it's pretty recent.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: It's pretty recent.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: It's pretty fresh. You know what you're talking about. And
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: you're a recruiter, Jason. They need jobs, so they better
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: agree with what you're saying.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Thanks, Jason.