Latest / DA CREW Podcast / LaTonya Michelle Littlejohn |Delayed But Never Denied| DA CREW PODCAST -10/30/25

Transcript

LaTonya Michelle Littlejohn |Delayed But Never Denied| DA CREW PODCAST -10/30/25 · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Until man.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: May I have your attention please? The show starts it
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: right seven six five, all treating shoot fun go.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Well to delay but not denied the podcast. I don't
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: know why that was funny to me. But tonight we
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: are doing part two to our conversation on the book
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: that we all co wrote before the Vowels, A Wife's
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Story After the Vowels, A Wife Story. I don't even
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: know the tagle. But before we start, I'm gonna go
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: to God in prayer. Heavenly Father will come you tonight,
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: asking you to be in the midst of the conversation,
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: asking you to place these words upon the hearers and
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: doers of your word. In Jesus name, we pray Amen.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: So tonight I have with me miss Queen Angela, Miss
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Queen Trevida, and Miss Queen d d.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: Hey, ladies, hello you.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: I'm here.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I am blessed, black and hotly favored.
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: Charlemagne God.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: I want to talk to you, ladies, because we didn't
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: really get to finish our conversation the last time. Trevida
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: you were saying you were talking about the ins and
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: outs and what it looks like on the the leaving
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: out part, and so if you could just pick up
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: there and we'll piggyback off you and go from there.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: Okay, getting to the other side is the divorce and
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: the final stages of the separation, the beginnings of it.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: It definitely for me because the relationship was thirteen years
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: and so I went from being a teenager to a
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: young adult to literally my late twenties, and so I
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: spent most of my early adulthood with one particular person.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: We shared three children together, and learning how to identify
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: with myself all over again was a challenge, you know.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: And I had to learn me all over again because
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: I had become so wrapped up in the identity of
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: being a wife and a mother that I lost who
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I was in the process, and that was It's not
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: an easy journey, but I learned some things along the
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: way that has helped me to begin the healing journey,
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: to forgive what happened, to take accountability for the role
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: that I played in the ending of the relationship and
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: not just placed everything on him. And one of the
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: things that I did was I started doing a self
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: inventory for myself and figuring out the things and the
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: areas and where I had issues, where I needed to
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: still grow where I learned needed to learn how to
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: apologize and not just blame other people. So that was
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: that was difficult, but it was a process. And on
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: the other side is where I am today.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: What did it feel like to get to the to
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: to be able to get to the other side, be
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: able to heal and then allow God.
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: To place a special person in your life?
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Now, I will say that process was difficult to actually
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: allow somebody in my space because I knew what I
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: wasn't gonna tolerate anymore.
• 5:20
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: I set really strong boundaries. And after you know, him
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: and I split, it was I had a real strict rule.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Number one was I had three small kids, one being
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: my daughter. I didn't want a lot of different men
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: coming in and out of my home. Right It was
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: like I have to set an example for her, and
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: so I had a very strict rule. No men were
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: allowed in my house after eight o'clock. You can see
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: me before eight, but if you're making plans to see
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: me after eight, you can't come, all right, you know.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: And I had a couple men who well, I I say, boys,
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: I'll take that back, because men are not gonna do that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: Who were would always say, well, you're grown. That's your
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: house and you can do what you want because you
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: make the rules, you pay the bill. You're absolutely right,
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: and if you can't respect this rule that I have,
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: then we don't need to associate or talk. And right, gentlemen,
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: he was like, well, I'm gonna bring my daughter with me.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: I don't care if you're bringing Jesus himself with you.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: You not coming in here after eight o'clock.
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: And it's just that simple.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: And so he was like, well, I just don't want
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: to deal. Well, baby, we not.
• 6:31
  Speaker 7: Asked you to be with me.
• 6:32
  Speaker 8: This is what you don't accept it, then you can't
• 6:36
  Speaker 8: accept me because you want me to break something to
• 6:38
  Speaker 8: say it's by your need. But you made no time
• 6:41
  Speaker 8: to see me before nightfall, but you want to see
• 6:44
  Speaker 8: me after the sun goes down. Absolutely not. And so
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: making that rule like I had that rule. Brad and
• 6:53
  Speaker 8: I split up in two thousand and seven. We were
• 6:56
  Speaker 8: divorced in twenty.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: Ten, and that rule stood in my house until twenty sixteen. Wow,
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: And I will not allow anybody if we were not
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: considering a relationship and going through the process of being
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: in one, you can't come. I'm sorry, it's just not
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: gonna work.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I feel you.
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Angela, can you share your story with us?
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 7:36
  Speaker 9: So my story is a lot different because I exited
• 7:41
  Speaker 9: on domestic terms and officially, technically I'm still married.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: I've been separated since twenty nineteen. This has been a journey.
• 7:58
  Speaker 9: I am trying to get these papers served because my
• 8:04
  Speaker 9: situation is I can't have this man knowing where I
• 8:09
  Speaker 9: live in because he's still in his in his mind
• 8:14
  Speaker 9: thinks that that there's still something that we can work
• 8:17
  Speaker 9: out because I've not finalized the divorce, and you are
• 8:21
  Speaker 9: the reason why the divorce is not finalized because in
• 8:26
  Speaker 9: South Carolina, they want you to mail or deliver something
• 8:31
  Speaker 9: to them and then they have to send it back in.
• 8:34
  Speaker 9: I cannot have this man knowing where I live at
• 8:38
  Speaker 9: because I know what he's capable of. So that has
• 8:43
  Speaker 9: been one of the the major hang ups. But I
• 8:51
  Speaker 9: have been I've been dating. Eventually, I'm gonna have to
• 8:58
  Speaker 9: do it. Eventually, he's gonna have to nowhere I live
• 9:01
  Speaker 9: at and all of that, because I want it to
• 9:04
  Speaker 9: be final because I feel like I can't promise relationship
• 9:11
  Speaker 9: and I can't be happy with the relationship with all
• 9:15
  Speaker 9: of this. Still, you know, so I said by twenty
• 9:23
  Speaker 9: twenty six, So that gives me less than sixty days
• 9:28
  Speaker 9: to make it, and I'm thinking I can make it
• 9:33
  Speaker 9: happen within these sixty days because some people have been
• 9:36
  Speaker 9: giving me some advice and telling me some routes that
• 9:40
  Speaker 9: I can take to not have to disclose my address.
• 9:45
  Speaker 9: So I'm feeling I'm really feeling positive about it because
• 9:51
  Speaker 9: I really want to move on because I have actually
• 9:58
  Speaker 9: have a special someone that that I am.
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: Really looking to develop some developed with.
• 10:07
  Speaker 9: You know, I had to set some boundaries and I
• 10:12
  Speaker 9: had to say what I will and I will not
• 10:15
  Speaker 9: accept in a relationship. So I tell you, I'm I'm
• 10:22
  Speaker 9: grateful for the book and I'm grateful for these talks
• 10:28
  Speaker 9: that we have been having because I'm telling you, Treita
• 10:31
  Speaker 9: be dropping some nuggets she dropping and you know, I'll
• 10:34
  Speaker 9: be like, I didn't even think about that. I didn't
• 10:37
  Speaker 9: even consider that. I didn't even that didn't even cross
• 10:40
  Speaker 9: my mind. The wisdom that she has, I tell you, God,
• 10:46
  Speaker 9: I'm telling you it's so amazing. Now, Patria somebody that
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: should have been in this book. Yeah, but she is
• 10:55
  Speaker 9: definitely somebody that should have been in this book. I
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: think it should be a part too, because again, I
• 11:04
  Speaker 9: am going to be finalizing this. She has went through
• 11:08
  Speaker 9: a process. Don't know what her process is, but I
• 11:11
  Speaker 9: think she says filing tomorrow. She's doing something. She on here,
• 11:16
  Speaker 9: she said happy birthday, Toda. So definitely want to follow
• 11:21
  Speaker 9: up and see how especially with Tarda's being engaged and
• 11:29
  Speaker 9: you know, so we definitely want to you know, journey
• 11:34
  Speaker 9: this and allow people to see that, you know, it
• 11:39
  Speaker 9: is possible.
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: Divorce is not the end. The vorce is not death.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: Divorce is not the the the.
• 11:46
  Speaker 9: End, all say all, but it can be the beginning
• 11:51
  Speaker 9: of something so greater.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: Tita said. I think Tareda may have mentioned that in
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: our show.
• 12:01
  Speaker 9: So yeah, definitely enjoy these talks and it just gives
• 12:06
  Speaker 9: me a positive outlook on this situation, you know, and
• 12:12
  Speaker 9: then hopefully somebody else is grabbing some nuggets and grabbing
• 12:16
  Speaker 9: something that we have experienced that we have overcame, got
• 12:21
  Speaker 9: through or dealing with that can help them with whatever
• 12:24
  Speaker 9: situation they're in.
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: So yeah, that's why I am.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: Most people tend to think that divorce is an ugly word,
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: but you got to understand that sometimes it is best
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: that people go their separate ways for the simple fact
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: of if you're not pouring into me, what I'm giving
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: to you is not blossoming, Like I'm giving more of
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: you and I'm losing more of myself. I've become depleted,
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: so I have them to give. And you tend to
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: find that out when you know you look at yourself
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: and you don't even recognize the face in the mirror anymore,
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: if you realize that you have lost every bit of
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: who you once were, and that relationship isn't making you happy,
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: it's not fulfilling you in the same way that you
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: hope that that person is fulfilling you. My relationship also,
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: like it didn't it ended like we got physical after
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: we separated. It was never during and that was crazy
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: because it's like, yeah, you know, you and your partner,
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: you're gonna argue, y'all are gonna have disagreements and things
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: of that nature. But it never got physical until I left.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: And that was another stipulation for our divorce, because it's like, dude,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: we aren't together, You've already moved on, you have someone else.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: I would just like the same. And it took three
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: years because he refused to sign the papers, just like
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: what you're going through. And I ended up having to
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: serve him myself because he would not like the officer.
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: The Sheriff's department tried to serve him several times and
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: they would always come back and say that no one
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: is answering the door at the ape, and I was like, oh,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: I have to go to my attorney, and I'm like, listen,
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: I know that we're not supposed to have any contact,
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: but I know where he's going to be. So can
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: I serve him myself? Because I'm tired. I know y'all
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: are tired too, So can we just do this? Well,
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: you're gonna have to sign a waiver and I was like,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I don't care, just whatever it is, and I need
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: to because I want to be able to move home
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: with my life. He's been able to do the same
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: thing and I'm stuck, and so y'all I served that
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: man would have had a templing boots on in the
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: rain in his call, and I it was just, look, sir,
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: I need you to sign right here. I need you
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: right here and put your address right here, and do
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: this on both sets of these papers. Once he did that,
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: I had to him his and I said, you've officially
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: been served, and I walked right on back in the
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: house and he sat outside of my house for about
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: five minutes with that piece of paper in his hands. There, baby,
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: it's time to move on. Gone, it's not God. I
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: went and took that my lawyer's office that Monday morning.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: Let's let's get this over and done it, because I
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: want to move on with my life. I want to
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: be able to be free. I want to live. You know,
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: you're living, You're free, You're creating a whole new family
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: outside of us, and I want to be able to
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: do the same. Like, it's not fair that you're holding
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: me up because you didn't want an end to something,
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: but you're also part of the reason why it had
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: to end. And when you don't want to take accountability,
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: it falls on me to actually take the accountability. And
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: one of the things that he said during the midst
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: of our separation before I moved from our family home,
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: is well, I wish you could get pregnant again. I said,
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: excuse me, sir, who are you talking to He said, well,
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: you know, if we had another baby, we would still
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: be together.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: It sounds like entrapment.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: Ll I said, sir, I don't know who you think
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: I am. I said, we created three, the last one
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: you had an issue with, I said, and you standing
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: here now saying that you wish there was a fourth. Sir,
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: please exit stage left. Don't talk to me right now,
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: because I'm in the middle of packing this stuff up
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: and you part of the reason I got to pack
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: this stuff up. Go in the other room till I
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: finish what I'm doing in here, because I can't see
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: your face right now. This is just not gonna work out.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: But don't say that. Don't do that. But my role
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: in our relationship ending was you know, men talk a
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: lot about you know, sex and this, that and the third.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: But however, for me, it was painful and it wasn't
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: something that he was trying to understand. I had some
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: cysts that were all my ovaries and they were painful,
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: and so with them being painful, sex was not something
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: that I was, you know, trying to partake in it.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: And it's like, okay, if you're not trying to come
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: to the doctor with me to find out what can
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: be done so that this can actually bring us back together,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: I don't know what you want me to do, because
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: I'm trying everything. But it is not a pleasant feeling.
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: And so that it was also he liked to he
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: liked the outside world. I'm an homebody. I don't need
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: to entertain other folks. I'm home. I like to be
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: with my kids. That's where you know, I find peace
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: and I find joy. And that was the thing he
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: wanted to be out at the club. Baby, go have
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: your fun, go do what you need to do. I'm
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: gonna be right here. I don't like loud music in
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: that sense. You know, of a crowd of folks from
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: just my experience, leads to bad decisions and things of
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: that nature. So I tend to stay out of environments
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: that are gonna do that. So that was one of
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: the other things. Like he was still and like I said,
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: we were young. We were still in our early twenties.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: So it was the life that he was still trying
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: to live. And it's like, Baby, that's not for me.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm old already, and I'm old already. So
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: it's like, I'm not really worried about that. If you
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: want to go, I'll be here at the house. Me
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: and the kids will probably I'll be in the kitchen
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: cooking something. They watching a TV or whatever. I'm not going,
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: but you free to go and have your phone. I'm
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: just gonna be at the house. So it's relationships, marriage, divorce,
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: all of those things. They play a major role in
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: how we interact with other people, and sometimes divorce is
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: one of those things that we really and truly do
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: think that it's the final thing that nobody's gonna want us.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: And that's usually coming from the situation of the other
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: person thinking that they've instilled in you that you're not
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: nobody else is gonna want you, nobody else is gonna
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: want to be with you, and my hope. See, you
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: can't say something like that to me because it's like, well,
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: you'll never find nobody to treat me certain that's the
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: whole point. I don't want you, so you know, I
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: don't know. Yeah, don't don't say that to me because
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna come back with something that you and you know,
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: we were in the middle of an argument one time
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: and he was like, if you, I said, you already
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: did that. That created the three children we have. Like
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: that's why it's like, don't don't say nothing to me,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: And he couldn't say nothing to me. It's like, Okay,
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: what you want me to say. We've already been there,
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: done that, We've moved on. We've got the children to
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: prove it. What do you want to talk about?
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Now?
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: That's why I don't like to stop you. Okay, well
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: stop me. It's a solution talking to me. If you
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: don't want to hear these rebuttals, then stop talking to me.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's just that. So I'm an easy person
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: to get along with, but I'm a complicated person to
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: get along with. But right now I have my boundaries
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: that I and my non negotiables that I will not
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: compromise on. And the crazy thing is my fiance now,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: like we were together before and we had to go
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: our separate ways, because my thing was when I met him,
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: like he embraced my children from day one. However, we
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: were nine months in the first time, and I had
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: yet to meet his three children, and I had met
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: his brother, I had met his best friend, and that
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: was it, and I like, and I met the younger
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: child and it's like, Okay, you have two older children.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: I would like to meet them too, and your mama.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: The people that you say that are the most important
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: people to your life. I need to meet those people
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: as well, and that wasn't happening. And it's like there's
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: something that you're not saying. And since you're not saying,
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: I'm going to exit because this isn't making sense to
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: me because you've met the most important people in my life.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: You've met my entire family just about, and yet I
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: haven't met these people that you say are important to you.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not understanding. And so we had to go our
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: separate ways. And now I'm glad he's not here right
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: now because he will be saying, well, seven years later,
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: you always said God grant's patience and if it was
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: meant to be, we'll be patient and we'll go back around.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: He was like, I was patient for seven years, sir.
• 22:52
  Speaker 6: Oh, I'll applaud that man for them.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: I'm still maintained a friendship that and like we still
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: kept in contact, you know, And it was one of
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: those things where Okay, you still want to be my friend.
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: I'm not the easiest person to be friends after this,
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: and so he was like, yeah, okay. And so when
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: the second time around came, he made sure that I
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: met all of the children, you know, and met his mom,
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: his grandma, his other siblings, like I've met everybody now, y'all.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: And I swear i've met aunties too, and and I've
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: met Dad not too long ago. So it's like okay, yeah,
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: and so it's like and this is the other thing.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: I have really learned to understand that when they say
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: if they wanted to, they would, Because let me tell you,
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: my birthday yet was yesterday. This man worked all day yesterday.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: He worked twelve hours. He came all the way down
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: here to deliver my birthday gifts and went back home.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: And he lives in Charlotte, and that's not a long
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: distance away. But he did all of that because it
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: was my birthday, you know. And he didn't have to
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: do that. He could have said, well, I'm just gonna
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: wait till the weekend. You know, I'm off this weekend
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: and I'll see you then. But no, he made sure
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: that he was there. And he's made sure that anything
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: that I may have an inkling of being stressed about,
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: he finds a solution. And I may be getting all
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: worked up about something. And he looked at me and
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: be like, okay, and what's the problem. And I'm like, okay,
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: well this is problem. He's like okay, and so you're
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: stressed about what I'm telling you what I'm stressed about. Okay,
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: well it's taken care of. So again, what are you
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: stressed about? And then me with my little stubborn self,
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: I still want to be mad about the ball and
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: it doesn't work, and so it's like, okay, I want
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: to be mad, and you won't let me be mad.
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: Let me be mad in this moment. And so last
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: night he thought I was mad at him because I
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: didn't respond to the text message. But honestly, I didn't
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: know he had text me. I was in the car
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: listening to my music, so I didn't have the volume up.
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: I didn't have the volume up on my phone for
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: the text messages to come through. So I'm in here
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: running my bath water, getting ready to take my bath,
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: and I turn around that he is standing with the
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: bag in his hand, and I'm like, I'm where you
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: come from. He's talking about you was mad at me.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: You didn't see my text message, Sir. I ain't seen
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: no text message about I told her in the shower, Sir,
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: I ain't. I ain't seen none of that. I ain't
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: seen none of that. So you know, if he really
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: and truly wanted to, it would, and that you can't
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: settle for less than that you know that you deserve.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: And yeah, and you know, sometimes we do make that
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: misconception of of giving them the benefit of the doubt.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: We see the potential and that person, and we like
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: trying to push them to that potential. But one thing
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: I have learned over the years is you can't push
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: somebody into something that they're not to see in them
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: because if they don't want it, ain't no need for
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: you trying to make them want it, because they don't
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: never have the same respect or desire to see it through.
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: And so I learn, if I'm pouring into you for
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: this amount of time and you're not receiving or blossoming
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: or even trying to grow anything, then I'm gonna go
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: ahead and remove myself. Now, I will say my relationship
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: before this, I still have value in that relationship and
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: that friendship, but I know that we'll never have a
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: friendship again because ego plays a major role in that.
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: And I'm forever grateful for the position that that person
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: put me in because this was his thing. Always. I
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: want to put you in a better position than the
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: one that I found you in. Okay, great, wonderful also,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: and he did he put me in a position to
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: be able to have a business, and I'm grateful for that.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: But it's also he didn't think that I would stick
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: it through. He thought that I would take the advice
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: and just sit on it and not actually follow through
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: with it. Well, I have continued to follow through with it.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: Not only that, I've continue to thrive and help other
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: people do the same thing that I was doing. And
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: I didn't stop. And so another thing that this person
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: said is that he wanted to see me broken. Okay,
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: well in what capacity do you want to see me broken?
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: And it was crazy And what he was meaning was
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: he wanted me to learn how to separate my emotions
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: from the situation. Now in that he taught me how
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: to remove my feelings from dealing with our personal relationship
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: and just deal with each other on a business relationship. Okay, cool,
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: So I did that. So then when it became I personal,
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: now you mad because I'm dealing with you how you
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: dealing with me? But that ain't got nothing to do
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: with me. These are the rules that you put in place.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: So if you want me to either be your business
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: partner or you all to be in relationship with you.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: Then you set the rules for how we gonna go.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: Then it was always, well, you know when you leave me.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: I said, Okay, you're always talking about the end, so
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: you have no purpose for us to be together continuously.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: So if you consistent in talking about the end, what's
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: the point of starting something with me? Well, no, I'm
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: just saying I'm living in reality. No, you creating an
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: end to something because if you speak that, you receive that.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: So when you receive it, you can't be mad at
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: it because this is the narrative that you set in place.
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: So I'm consistent in asking you. And if I ever
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: I said something, I'm gonna ask for clarity, and me
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: asking for clarity would be in his mind, I'm wanting
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: to argue. I'm not arguing with you. We're having a conversation.
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: You like to avoid conversations because all your conversations in
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: and arguments and drag out fights. I don't have to
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: argue with you to have a conversation with you. But
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: since that's what you are used to, you can't understand
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: that conversations can happen without conflict. So so we can
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: communicate with each other but we don't have to have
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: a situation where we gotta put our hands on each other.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: My voice has to be raised, Your voice has to
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: be raised. We can sit and have a conversation, but
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: you'd rather avoid the conversation because of past relationships that
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: have nothing to do with me.
• 30:55
  Speaker 9: And so I tell people all the time. Communication, it's key. Communication.
• 31:02
  Speaker 9: You should be able to talk to your mate about anything, everything,
• 31:06
  Speaker 9: and yeah, an argument. You should be able to talk
• 31:10
  Speaker 9: freely and they be able to listen and be able
• 31:15
  Speaker 9: to respond, and vice versus. You should be able to
• 31:18
  Speaker 9: do the same. It's not complicated. We make it so
• 31:22
  Speaker 9: much complicated then it need to be.
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: And it's just.
• 31:26
  Speaker 10: All about communication that that communication will.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: Kill the problem in any situation.
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: And I don't care.
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: Communication is key, and that's one thing that I have
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: learned is that we have to communicate. Even the uncomfortable conversations,
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: you have to have them. And if you're not willing
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: to have the uncomfortable conversation, what happens when that situation
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: comes in full circle and now you can't get beyond
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: that because you're stuck on what was a little problem
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: has now become a ticking time bomb. You don't ever
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: want to be with somebody that you gotta walk on
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: eggs shells, be sensitive, yall constantly apologizing for their lack
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: of being able to regulate their own emotions. That has
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: nothing to do with you. It's personal. And then learning
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: to figure out what your own personal triggers are. That
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: was a thing that I had to understand for myself,
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: which goes back to my self inventory. Certain things, certain words,
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: certain tones would trigger me. First off, who you talk to. Secondly,
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: change the tone and how you talking to me, you know.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: And sometimes I'm good at receiving a joke, sometimes I
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: may not be. So it's like learning how to gauge
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: my own reaction to certain things. And so now it's
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: like I can see when somebody's trying to trigger me
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: or upset me or whatever, and I end up pissing
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: them off more so than me getting hissed out, and
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: so that it shouldn't bring me joy, It shouldn't bring
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: me pleasure, but it's like I've learned to control me,
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: so it does. And it's like you mad, but.
• 33:22
  Speaker 11: You started to argument right right, No, So it's like
• 33:30
  Speaker 11: you started the argument, but you mad, because I won't
• 33:34
  Speaker 11: get mad.
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: And I won't meet you where you at. That ain't
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: got nothing to do with me.
• 33:39
  Speaker 7: That got to do with you.
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: So go get yourself together and come back a week
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: and talk about it. But you're gonna be mad by yourself.
• 33:45
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: So that's another thing that I swear. Me and him
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: like I could be mad about something. He just over there, happy,
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: go lucky whatever. And I'm like, no, sir, I want
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: to be mad right now. He's like, okay, well you
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: can be mad, but I don't care so and I'm like, okay,
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: well you're gonna be mad too.
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: He ain't.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, look at me.
• 34:10
  Speaker 9: No mad, My mama, My mama used to tell me.
• 34:16
  Speaker 9: Being mad it's like using the restaroom on yourself. Don't
• 34:19
  Speaker 9: nobody feel that. Sit on over there in the corner and.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: Went by yourself.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: No, I.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Don't want to work it out because they don't leave
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: being mad.
• 34:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, so did. I've gotten to everybody but you.
• 34:47
  Speaker 6: It's uh, yes, you have what what brings you here?
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: Ma'am?
• 34:56
  Speaker 7: You that's a very oh my goodness.
• 35:05
  Speaker 10: Okay, Well, our last distressing I talked about hasn't been
• 35:10
  Speaker 10: married for almost twenty.
• 35:11
  Speaker 9: Years, and.
• 35:15
  Speaker 10: When I met my acts because I'm claiming it to
• 35:19
  Speaker 10: be next soon because I'm like Lisa Angela, I gotta
• 35:22
  Speaker 10: move on.
• 35:22
  Speaker 7: I need to move on. I'm planning, I'm moving on.
• 35:26
  Speaker 7: It's don't happen.
• 35:29
  Speaker 10: But when I met him, when we sata dating, I
• 35:33
  Speaker 10: had just uh we started dating two months before my mom,
• 35:37
  Speaker 10: my adopted.
• 35:37
  Speaker 7: Mom, passed, and that was that was the hard time
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: to me. That was she was my world. She saw everything.
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: I mean, I owed her my life basically, so me
• 35:51
  Speaker 7: losing her was definitely I mean, we had lost up
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: in the family.
• 35:54
  Speaker 10: Before, but me losing her it drew me out of
• 35:58
  Speaker 10: out of wack because he was like almost the average
• 36:01
  Speaker 10: I didn't do nothing unless he was fool with unless
• 36:04
  Speaker 10: he was okay with it. And so when we got together,
• 36:07
  Speaker 10: I think I was just in a grieving.
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: Mode and I just stuck with him, and I was like,
• 36:12
  Speaker 7: I don't want to lose with nobody else, and so
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: I just clung.
• 36:17
  Speaker 10: For twenty years, well actually twenty three years because if
• 36:20
  Speaker 10: you know the counting Dayton Park yet twenty three years Yep.
• 36:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah, clung hard. Then his father said, yeah, there's no,
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: that's nothing back cleaning, that's the bill. We're not doing that.
• 36:31
  Speaker 10: And it was just like one day he was in
• 36:33
  Speaker 10: the hospital. My sisters were going through here in Virginia.
• 36:37
  Speaker 10: We were in Florida, and it devastated me.
• 36:39
  Speaker 7: That my family was going through and I wasn't there,
• 36:44
  Speaker 7: and so I was like, okay, so I come to him.
• 36:47
  Speaker 10: My cousin was like, I can come get you. Thet's
• 36:51
  Speaker 10: come home for a week or so. You know what
• 36:52
  Speaker 10: I'm saying, This beco people. So I told him and
• 36:54
  Speaker 10: he was like, well, and we had been doing dallastries.
• 36:59
  Speaker 10: He's been doing it from dallasas so we just honed out.
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: So I was no longer your wife. I was the
• 37:04
  Speaker 7: secretary and your next I was not your wife. So
• 37:10
  Speaker 7: he decides when I say, my cousin's gonna come pick
• 37:12
  Speaker 7: me up, He's gonna take me, you know, for a
• 37:14
  Speaker 7: little while. And then I come back. He says, what
• 37:18
  Speaker 7: about my treatment? What about you can go in center?
• 37:23
  Speaker 10: The doctor was gonna putun there how a couple of
• 37:25
  Speaker 10: weeks to go anywhere because he's polling like a balloon.
• 37:28
  Speaker 7: What about it?
• 37:30
  Speaker 10: I said, my family is going through this stuff. What
• 37:32
  Speaker 10: you're talking about? So then you come to me a
• 37:36
  Speaker 10: couple of days later, and your mom got this inheritance
• 37:41
  Speaker 10: or whatever that blah blah blah, and you want to
• 37:44
  Speaker 10: come to me talking about well we can go back
• 37:46
  Speaker 10: to Virginia for a little while.
• 37:47
  Speaker 7: I said, go back to you didn't do well? Well?
• 37:50
  Speaker 7: My mom want to give me this part of my inheritance.
• 37:52
  Speaker 7: Dada dada.
• 37:53
  Speaker 10: I said, oh yeah, I said, how long is saying? Well,
• 37:57
  Speaker 10: as I was back Monday, he's doing my feet. So
• 38:01
  Speaker 10: I'm staying the weekend. So you're talking, I can't see
• 38:03
  Speaker 10: my people. I said, man, you go ahead, I'm good,
• 38:06
  Speaker 10: you go.
• 38:07
  Speaker 7: It was like when the Lord told me it was over.
• 38:10
  Speaker 10: Because now to get to that part, the part was
• 38:13
  Speaker 10: when he was in hospital. My sister was going through.
• 38:17
  Speaker 10: Both my sisters going through. My other sister was a nursing.
• 38:19
  Speaker 7: Home and then they had taken her to the hospital.
• 38:21
  Speaker 7: She had got COVID and she had heart problems.
• 38:24
  Speaker 10: So my niece called me and told me when they
• 38:27
  Speaker 10: was trying to revive the like for the third time
• 38:29
  Speaker 10: or so. So I'm freaking out and I'm freaking out
• 38:33
  Speaker 10: like I'm my Lord, please gonna let my sister die
• 38:34
  Speaker 10: before I could get to virgin because I do not
• 38:36
  Speaker 10: want her to die. I want you to be in
• 38:38
  Speaker 10: the area with my feaple and something said it's over.
• 38:45
  Speaker 10: So I did a little it's over.
• 38:49
  Speaker 7: It's over.
• 38:50
  Speaker 10: The Lord don't take my take my sister, so you
• 38:53
  Speaker 10: can tell me you my sister three they could go,
• 38:55
  Speaker 10: tell me that's that's the part talking about. And it
• 38:58
  Speaker 10: was like I saw my husband's face, ex cousin's face
• 39:01
  Speaker 10: across my faith and I said, I'm married.
• 39:05
  Speaker 7: That's the father. You on a marriage. What are you
• 39:07
  Speaker 7: what are you talking about? H I put together.
• 39:12
  Speaker 10: I didn't pay again, you put yourselves together, he said,
• 39:15
  Speaker 10: but it's over.
• 39:17
  Speaker 7: So I said, okay. I said, but you kept us
• 39:22
  Speaker 7: this long.
• 39:22
  Speaker 10: He said, I capt y'all as long because he was playing.
• 39:25
  Speaker 10: He was praying for your marriage. I realized then I.
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: Had stopped playing. If I wasn't my wife, what I
• 39:29
  Speaker 7: was saying in.
• 39:30
  Speaker 10: Paris for America wasn't a part of Now. I would
• 39:33
  Speaker 10: pray when he's going to hospital, because I'm not that
• 39:36
  Speaker 10: type of person. I'm ana prayer regardless. I don't never
• 39:38
  Speaker 10: want nothing happen to Gray. I don't pray him in
• 39:40
  Speaker 10: the hospital. But that's about all you got me. So
• 39:43
  Speaker 10: that's what the father told me. He was like, you
• 39:44
  Speaker 10: stop praying, so I can go ahead and tell you
• 39:46
  Speaker 10: now what I need to tell you. It's over, I said, okay, Father,
• 39:49
  Speaker 10: I said, well, if it's gonna be over, I need
• 39:51
  Speaker 10: a ram in a bull, I said, I need a
• 39:54
  Speaker 10: ram in the books because.
• 39:54
  Speaker 7: I can't do this by myself. I can't so because
• 40:00
  Speaker 7: my cousin and she was like, all right, we can't read.
• 40:03
  Speaker 7: Get to a plane ticket, you're coming home, okay, all right.
• 40:08
  Speaker 7: So he takes it to the airport and.
• 40:11
  Speaker 10: He's looking all kinds well before we get to the airport,
• 40:14
  Speaker 10: last really rap last, and he said.
• 40:17
  Speaker 7: To me that kind of really set it off for me.
• 40:20
  Speaker 7: Was you know you more than your dad? Really got
• 40:25
  Speaker 7: on my nerves. I said, oh yeah, wow, the father.
• 40:33
  Speaker 10: I will away from that man, actually will from me,
• 40:36
  Speaker 10: because I said, I if I hit this man in
• 40:37
  Speaker 10: the faith, we will have a problem. And then my
• 40:39
  Speaker 10: brother see I'm brewed. She's coming to get him too.
• 40:43
  Speaker 10: So I said, but will wait for you real quick,
• 40:45
  Speaker 10: because you about to leave here.
• 40:47
  Speaker 7: I said, okay. I said, well, okay, this.
• 40:50
  Speaker 10: Is the man that treeved you like he was his
• 40:53
  Speaker 10: own front my daddy. I said, oh, okay, that's true,
• 40:57
  Speaker 10: that's true. It's all right, So you don't take me
• 41:00
  Speaker 10: the airport. You ain't apologize, you know, I get up
• 41:02
  Speaker 10: the car.
• 41:03
  Speaker 7: You want to give me a kiss. I turned my head. Whatever, goodbye,
• 41:08
  Speaker 7: I'm done. Someho find out. I didn't realize this until
• 41:14
  Speaker 7: last year, because now in this this November seventeen, it
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: will be two years. I found out last year. This
• 41:22
  Speaker 7: how God worked. He cau. He called me and he said,
• 41:28
  Speaker 7: you know what today is? No Sunday. I don't know
• 41:32
  Speaker 7: what is? He say, don't know what today is? Yeah,
• 41:37
  Speaker 7: I'm thinking back, I'm like, so something else figguring me
• 41:40
  Speaker 7: about the date. It was my mom. It was the
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: day my mom passed. The date of my mom's passion
• 41:48
  Speaker 7: is the date I left him. Wow, thank God, Hope, like,
• 41:54
  Speaker 7: I see what you's doing. Said okay, So I told.
• 41:58
  Speaker 10: Him, I said, oh no, this day, this the day
• 42:00
  Speaker 10: my mom had Then he said, oh, I'm sorry. I
• 42:03
  Speaker 10: didn't said I didn't evenize that's ad.
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: But God did what he did.
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: So that's that, he said, God some things with them dates.
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: The number, it is the whole other date that I
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: give you any other day. I made dates for you
• 42:23
  Speaker 7: to do. Remember this and remember that you can't remember
• 42:25
  Speaker 7: those dates. For the day. I mean you, this is
• 42:27
  Speaker 7: the date you.
• 42:27
  Speaker 10: Want to remember, Okay, Okay, well you remember that because
• 42:30
  Speaker 10: I'm gonna remember it too.
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: I'm going to do something with them dates. I will
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: tell you this. My occasional wedding date was June seventeen,
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: two thousand. The date that I finished with college was
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: June and seventeen, I was fifteen. And then the following year,
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: oh well, the year before that, I got inducted into
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: the National Society of Leadership and Success June seventeenth.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: So it's like.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: My marriage began, it ended June the tenth. It was
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: finalized June the tenth of two thousand and ten. But
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: everything else that was positive for June the seventeenth was
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: with my collage and everything, and it was like, okay,
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: so because you know, I was looking at that day
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: as you know, a blessing, and also it ended, you know,
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: But then when these things took place, it's like, okay,
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: and ain't it was a day that something began. But
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: it also was the month of June that you know,
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: it ended. And so it's like June is a month
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: for me in so many ways because my cousin was
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: born in June but we lost him in June.
• 44:00
  Speaker 7: My mom.
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: I graduated in June, but we didn't have the ceremony
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: until after that. But my mom passed in June, and
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: so it's like that month is just bittersweet, you know.
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: And so it's like I got the good and the bad,
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: and I was at work the other day. Yeah, yeah,
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: I went back to work. I went to work in
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: the actual building for three days. But while I was there,
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: I was talking to this lady and you know, I
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: just lost recently lost my great aunt who raised me
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: on Saturday, and so I was telling her. The significance
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: of birth dates and the significance of dates is that
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: every day is a day to be celebrate. But this
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: is the thing. We only know our birthdays that is
• 44:51
  Speaker 4: a date that we celebrate, but every day that we're here.
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: We need to learn to celebrate every day because our
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: death day is going to be significant to those who
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: are left behind. So we need to learn to celebrate
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: because the date that we decide is already predestined because
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: God is gonna call us home on that date. But
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: we'll never know that that day, but it becomes significant
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: to our loved ones who are behind, And so learn
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: to appreciate what we have in this moment in this sense,
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: because tomorrow could be our date, it could already be
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: one's list for that day, and that will be the
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: date that our family members, our loved ones, remember and
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: they have to remember that day every day, not only
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: the date of that we were born on this earth,
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: but the day that we leave. So learn to appreciate
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: each and every day. And I hear people say, well,
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: I don't celebrate birthdays. You may not celebrate birthdays, but
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: you need to celebrate the day that you are given
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: because you're not promised the next one. You know, you're
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: not even promised the next second. Because if God has
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: you on his list, he's calling you regardless. And so
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: we need to learn how to make sure what we're
• 46:13
  Speaker 4: doing from our date of birth to the day that
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: God says, well done, our good and faithful servant. What
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: we're doing with that dash in the middle stands for
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: you know, it stands for something. And you are with
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: the people who are connected to the destiny that He
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: has created for you. So what you do with this
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: time is important. The relationships that you grow and cultivate
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: are important. The time that you put into anything and
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: a lot of times we see and we hold ourselves
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: back because it looks like it's not going to come
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: the past. But if God gave you the vision for it,
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: he'll provide every provision that you're gonna need. He's gonna
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: connect you to the peace people that are connected to
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: what He has for you. There is a greater purpose
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: behind this book. There's a greater purpose behind this conversation.
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: There's a greater purpose behind all of this, And there's
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: a continuous thing that is going to be Like whoever's
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: listening tonight is going to get something from this conversation
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: that they're gonna be able to use for tomorrow and future.
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: Things like there's always the blueprint that starts somewhere, and
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: if God gave you the blueprint, he's gonna give you
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: everything that you need to make it a reality. But
• 47:33
  Speaker 4: we gotta be willing to step outside of what feels comfortable,
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: to be a little uncomfortable to make it happen. But
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: a lot of times we don't want to be uncomfortable
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: because the comfort zone feels great. But God say to
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: put out of their comfort zone. It's time for you
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: to move, It's time for you to do something different.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: It's time for you to think everything that I have
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: been showing you, and you be like, God, I don't
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: think so. Now I'll be honest, I'd be like God,
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: I think you sent that to the wrong address because
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: that ain't for me. And he come back and be like,
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: if I didn't give it to you, I wouldn't be
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: showing it to you. And Okay, well, sir Lisa, we're
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: gonna have to talk about it. I'm gonna need some
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: little more details to something because you push a little
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: bit more on me than what I be prepared for.
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: Just because you short in statue don't mean you can't
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: do what I told you to do now and it
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: was already backed out.
• 48:29
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you.
• 48:33
  Speaker 9: Nine and eleven is real, he said, he said, he declared,
• 48:37
  Speaker 9: He said, HELI, let's past ten.
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: So that means that it's all for you, not to
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: harm you, but for you for you to be in
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: her health, hope in the future.
• 48:51
  Speaker 9: And if Genesis two and seven, he said, he breathed
• 48:55
  Speaker 9: the breath of life into you, so every single thing
• 49:00
  Speaker 9: in this world is already in you. Anything that comes
• 49:05
  Speaker 9: upon you that you cannot handle because it's already in you.
• 49:10
  Speaker 9: You just have to tap into that. He's giving us
• 49:13
  Speaker 9: all this talent exactly.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: And that's one of the things and I say all
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: the time, is because you get that old cliche. God
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: gives his uh, he's never put.
• 49:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: I hate that. And the reason I hate that is
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: because God already knew what you were gonna face everything,
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: Because already put it all there. It's up to you
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: deep within to see what tools He's given you to
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: get to the next level in your life. He gives you,
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: He gives us lessons to pass the test. That way
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: we have a testimony. You can't have a testimony if
• 49:52
  Speaker 4: you ain't never been tested. If what you fine for.
• 49:59
  Speaker 10: That one single I would looking for somebody this week
• 50:01
  Speaker 10: and they were saying that if you gotta work.
• 50:07
  Speaker 7: Ahead of time, you already knew, he said divorce. He said,
• 50:11
  Speaker 7: you don't got to be saying by the divorce. God
• 50:12
  Speaker 7: knew you was gonna get divorced. He knew you're gonna
• 50:14
  Speaker 7: be before you knew it.
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: Everything story from the tee and first breath on this side.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: He knew what we were gonna go through or everything.
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: Sometimes those free will is what gets sus.
• 50:35
  Speaker 5: The free will problem. We always he.
• 50:39
  Speaker 9: Gave it to us that we can kind of so
• 50:42
  Speaker 9: that we can kind of map out our own path,
• 50:45
  Speaker 9: even though he has meted it out for us. He
• 50:48
  Speaker 9: was will so that we can choose the route that
• 50:51
  Speaker 9: we go. We can choose the easy route, or we
• 50:54
  Speaker 9: can choose the hard route. He gives it to us
• 50:57
  Speaker 9: so we openly choose which way we want to do
• 51:00
  Speaker 9: if we want to align exactly with what he is
• 51:03
  Speaker 9: mapped out for us and be in place so that
• 51:06
  Speaker 9: we can receive everything that he has for us without tribulations.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: But we don't understand that he said. He didn't say
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: it would be easy.
• 51:16
  Speaker 9: People take away. He will always take away because guess
• 51:19
  Speaker 9: what he left the confident with us.
• 51:23
  Speaker 7: We would go through.
• 51:25
  Speaker 9: There's nothing that we would go through that he can't
• 51:27
  Speaker 9: get through. He already know what the end it's going
• 51:30
  Speaker 9: to be. He want to see how our character is
• 51:32
  Speaker 9: gonna be. He want to see how we're going to
• 51:34
  Speaker 9: be molded. He he want to see how we have grown.
• 51:38
  Speaker 9: He want to see if we got that. Listen, because
• 51:40
  Speaker 9: I tell people those test, those trials, and those tribulations,
• 51:43
  Speaker 9: that's only for a moment.
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: Your moment may be two days. Your moment may be
• 51:47
  Speaker 5: three weeks.
• 51:48
  Speaker 9: Your moment may be five weeks, it may be five years,
• 51:51
  Speaker 9: but it's only for a moment, so that you'll be
• 51:54
  Speaker 9: able to.
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: Tell somebody else how you got through, how you overcame,
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: how you got to the other side.
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: People don't understand the storms are temporary, and if you
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: keep walking through the storm, you're gonna come out on
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: the sun side. But we don't get stuck in the rain.
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: We get stuck right now. We don't want to keep walking.
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: But you know, the storm passes, it moves, so if
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: look forward direction, you gonna eventually get out of the storm.
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: But you gotta keep walking. It's too much, it's too head.
• 52:29
  Speaker 5: It's a process, and I tell that it's it's it's
• 52:33
  Speaker 5: it's a three it's a three step process.
• 52:36
  Speaker 9: You you gotta understand that storms they they don't go nowhere,
• 52:41
  Speaker 9: They just move. And it may be storming up there
• 52:45
  Speaker 9: where you at Trevida, and it may not be storming
• 52:47
  Speaker 9: over there where Latanya at may where I'm at, but
• 52:51
  Speaker 9: it may come later on. And we gotta that there's
• 52:54
  Speaker 9: three parts of a stone. You're either going into a storm,
• 52:58
  Speaker 9: you in the midst of a stone.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: Exactly one thing used to say all the time is
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: when I was young, it never made any sense to me,
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: and all she simply said was just keep living. And
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: I was like, what does that even mean? She was like,
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: you may not understand it right now, but you are
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: understanding when you get old. And it's one of those
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: things where it may not be your problem today, but
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: it very well can be yours tomorrow. That's why you
• 53:30
  Speaker 4: never talk down on somebody else's situation, because it may
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: not look like you will ever have to experience it,
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: but when you have to experience, it's always well, I
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: wouldn't have done that. I would have never said that.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: But then when you know that, it's like, well, I
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: see now why you said that. I see why you
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: did No, no, no, remember keep that same energy you
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: had when you were I would have never. Because it's
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: always when people say that I will never be coming
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: over you, well I'm never and again yeah you you
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: now they ain't never before, but now they never and
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: harder than before. I don't sit down somewhere, you and
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: your net now you're dealing with it, and now it's like, oh,
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: well I knew compassion, some empathy, some sympathy, compassion on
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: my side, no where. What was that when somebody else
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: was going through it you didn't have and now you
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: want it. They don't be good when you gotta deal
• 54:30
  Speaker 4: with it, Like keep your mouth, folks, stop talking about them,
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: because you're gonna have to read what you saw. And
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: when you play goes of nastiness. Guess what you're gonna
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: have to eat that. That's why I tell you don't
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: be preparing to play for somebody that you ain't prepared.
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: You can't eat the same.
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: Thing you putting on the plate and worrying about what
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: somebody else got prepared on their play. God prepared that
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: specifically for them. They may have high blood pressure. Can't
• 54:57
  Speaker 4: have no salt. You over there trying to get eat.
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: You're sick. You're gonna end up in the hospital because
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: you want what's on their play that ain't your Put
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: that down and gone mind, Joe. Byss you put on
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: your own and I swear you'll be food.
• 55:18
  Speaker 9: You can season it up your own way. Y'all may
• 55:23
  Speaker 9: have the same plate. Y'all may have the same items
• 55:25
  Speaker 9: on the plate, but it all may be seasoned differently.
• 55:29
  Speaker 9: You know, salt and pepper.
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: And exactly.
• 55:36
  Speaker 5: Like the salad. I don't I don't like it and
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: my chicken salad and you might not.
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: Right like, stop trying to look over there as somebody
• 55:51
  Speaker 4: else is playing up there talking about, uh, well that
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: looks good and you're going to get you a fort full.
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: And now you realize it's got twelve tables for the
• 56:00
  Speaker 4: south on there. And now you over there looking for
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: some water. That's what you get you over there mentland,
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: something that ain't got nothing to do with you. Stay
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: off my plate, all.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: Right, y'all.
• 56:15
  Speaker 9: Look, I don't know where that came from, because tonight
• 56:21
  Speaker 9: over there, ya came on over this way. You need
• 56:25
  Speaker 9: to stop DD.
• 56:35
  Speaker 4: But I I'm gonna have to get off of here
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: because I gotta tell you.
• 56:43
  Speaker 6: We need uh we we need the benediction before you come.
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: Okay, well listen, this is what I got for y'all. Listen.
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: Divorce is not the end. It's only the beginning. If
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: you allow yourself to be in the space to receive
• 56:59
  Speaker 4: what God has for you, and if you've been praying
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: for that special person, be patient. Don't be trying to
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: rush your mind in God's business because he ain't told
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: you to come over there and do nothing. God is
• 57:09
  Speaker 4: God all by himself. If he told you he would
• 57:12
  Speaker 4: do it, he would make a way, then trust him
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: to do it. Stay out his business. Don't be going
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: over there.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: God.
• 57:17
  Speaker 7: Listen.
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: I know you said you was gonna do it, but
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: when majo business, and stay.
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: Out of God's.
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: Because God is all by himself. He know what he doing.
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: He been doing it for a lifetime. He ain't stopped today,
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: he ain't gonna stop tomorrow. Stay in your place and
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: do what you're supposed to do. And divorce is not
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: the end, all right.
• 57:36
  Speaker 7: I love y'all.
• 57:37
  Speaker 5: Got a collection plate pulling in tonight. We'll be back
• 58:00
  Speaker 7: Eight