Latest / The iHeart SoCal Show / Kicking Off The New Year With Less Trying & MORE DOING With Author Carla Ondrasik

Transcript

Kicking Off The New Year With Less Trying & MORE DOING With Author Carla Ondrasik · The iHeart SoCal Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, Hi, is Aisa Fox with you on our
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  Speaker 1: first iHeart So cal show of the new year.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And what do we have the perfectest and topic for
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  Speaker 2: us to focus on.
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  Speaker 1: If you've been struggling to get things done or meet
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  Speaker 1: your goals in the past, the problem isn't that you're
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  Speaker 1: not trying hard enough, it's that you're only trying.
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  Speaker 2: In the first place.
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  Speaker 1: There's a new book that's going to help us stop trying,
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  Speaker 1: the life transforming power of trying less and doing more. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: it's the change we all need people to kick off
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  Speaker 1: the new year, right, So let's go on to tell
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  Speaker 1: us how we can seriously kick some serious you know
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  Speaker 1: what and congress and major goals this year. Is the
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  Speaker 1: author and my friend Carla andros Carla.
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  Speaker 3: Happy New Year, High Lisa, Happy New Year.
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  Speaker 2: So excited, so excited to have you on to kick
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  Speaker 2: off the new year.
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  Speaker 1: And since I had you on the show last September,
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  Speaker 1: you got me so fired up on this thing. And
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  Speaker 1: I know it's a simple concept, but once you really
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  Speaker 1: harness it, you're going to free up so much potentially
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  Speaker 1: wasted time in your brain and in your life. You know,
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  Speaker 1: just needed to right then and there. If you catch
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  Speaker 1: yourself saying the word tried it, say no, no, no, Let
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  Speaker 1: me just decide yes or no if I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: do this, yes or no. And especially if you know,
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  Speaker 1: if Eric is in the room, my honey, Eric, and
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  Speaker 1: the T word comes up, he'll.
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  Speaker 2: Call me out. I'll call him out, or like no, no, no,
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  Speaker 2: no no. In honor of Carla.
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  Speaker 1: And Carla's new book, and in honor of actually changing
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  Speaker 1: and getting more things done, put a quarter in the
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  Speaker 1: try jar and make a decision right then and there
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  Speaker 1: if you're going to do it, yes or no.
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  Speaker 3: Oh. It's so great to have a partner to call
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  Speaker 3: you out. It's awesome.
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  Speaker 1: It is like keeps us both accountable. So it's a
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  Speaker 1: good thing. But I just gotta say, it's been very
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  Speaker 1: empowering you planting the seed this way of thinking, trying
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  Speaker 1: to change that language in our brains, and actually getting
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  Speaker 1: more things accomplished, getting more things done. I mean, that's
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  Speaker 1: been our reaction since embracing this whole thing, since you
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  Speaker 1: put your book out. What reactions are you seen?
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  Speaker 3: It's been amazing. It debuted, I was number one on
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  Speaker 3: a lot of the Amazon you know things, and I've
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  Speaker 3: been asked to speak so much this year, and it
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  Speaker 3: just keeps going. And that means I get to share
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  Speaker 3: this message and help so many people to achieve all
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  Speaker 3: their goals that they want. So it's been a great ride.
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  Speaker 3: It's been a lot of fun.
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  Speaker 1: And right on Amazon, where your book is available, Stop
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  Speaker 1: Trying the life transforming power of trying less and doing more,
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  Speaker 1: just some time for the new year. I love this
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  Speaker 1: this quote of many quote endorsements writer on Amazon about
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  Speaker 1: your book from so many fun people, including one of
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  Speaker 1: my favorites and inspirational, very inspirational, Meil Robbins. She's a
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  Speaker 1: best selling author and the host of the Mail Robins podcast.
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  Speaker 2: She's all over.
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  Speaker 1: Social media and I reshare her inspirational tidbits on social
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  Speaker 1: all the time.
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  Speaker 2: She says this about your book. Lots of books.
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  Speaker 1: Promise change, but the book Stop Trying is the change.
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  Speaker 1: Carla Andressic gives you one simple, yet insanely powerful tool
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  Speaker 1: that'll flip your life into high gear. If you're ready
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  Speaker 1: to stop spinning your wheels and actually start living a
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  Speaker 1: life that feels meaningful and successful.
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  Speaker 2: This book shows you exactly how to do it. Oh
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  Speaker 2: so good.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great endorsement and She's right there. Really,
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  Speaker 3: this is a really powerful message that gets you from
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  Speaker 3: like where you were to where you want to be.
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  Speaker 1: So your goal to write this book is to change
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  Speaker 1: the mindset of people who say I'll try, I'll try,
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  Speaker 1: I'll try, but.
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  Speaker 2: To do no do it?
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  Speaker 1: Just say yes or no, you're going to do it
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  Speaker 1: or not do it, not this wishy washy in between.
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  Speaker 1: But why did this word try hit such a nerve
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  Speaker 1: with you to write this book and start this movement
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  Speaker 1: and do all this work behind it, put all this
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  Speaker 1: work behind it to help so many people? Why this
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  Speaker 1: word try hit such a nerve with you?
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  Speaker 3: Well, you know, I've lived my life partly out of
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  Speaker 3: a desire to just be successful and partly because it
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  Speaker 3: was put forced upon me. I was a gambler's daughter.
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  Speaker 3: Our life was a little bit, you know, kind of
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  Speaker 3: hectic at times. We were thrown in situations where it
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  Speaker 3: was literally think or swim. Okay, you can't try. There's
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  Speaker 3: no trying. You're either going to get out of this
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  Speaker 3: or you're not. And so I wasn't allowed to try.
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  Speaker 3: Growing up. I was really forced into do or do not,
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  Speaker 3: and then I just kept going with it. In my career,
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  Speaker 3: you know to be successful, it's you have to be decisive.
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  Speaker 3: You have to take action. You can't half heart your efforts.
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  Speaker 3: And I see trying everywhere. I see the younger generation
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  Speaker 3: who has access which is amazing to one click and
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  Speaker 3: you have a smoothie at your door, right, and it's
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  Speaker 3: taking away a lot of the effort that is needed.
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  Speaker 3: Oh well, if it's not easy, I'm just gonna throw
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  Speaker 3: a try on it, and if it doesn't work out,
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to give up. And I want to stop that.
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  Speaker 3: And I wanted to arm everybody with I'm going to
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  Speaker 3: call it a superpower. Like when you realize that this
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  Speaker 3: try word every single time you say you're going to
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  Speaker 3: try to do anything and you stop that and go
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  Speaker 3: to doing it, it's a superpower and it is absolutely
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  Speaker 3: magical and life changing.
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  Speaker 1: And again based on your real life examples of doing
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  Speaker 1: as opposed to just trying, you had great success in
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  Speaker 1: the music business and helped so many huge names, including
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  Speaker 1: your husband one of my favors, John and Jossic of
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  Speaker 1: a Fire for fighting. You help so many huge name
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  Speaker 1: people also succeed because you're doing and not trying to
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  Speaker 1: get things done.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was, I was vice president of creative writer
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  Speaker 3: development on the West Coast for em I, which was
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  Speaker 3: the biggest publishing company at the time. I was just
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  Speaker 3: little old me and how do you get that title
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  Speaker 3: and that position? I gave songs. I put the two
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  Speaker 3: writers together that wrote Genie in a Bottle for Christina
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  Speaker 3: Aguilera launched her career. I gave Barbara streisand earthund and
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  Speaker 3: Fire Mariah Carey. I discovered John Andrasik, who I'm probably
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  Speaker 3: married to, discovered him, got him a record deal. You know,
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  Speaker 3: like all of that is a lot of doing, stepping
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  Speaker 3: outside of the safe zone, not half hearting an effort.
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  Speaker 3: And you know, I'll just talk right now about what
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  Speaker 3: happens when we say we're going to try what like,
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  Speaker 3: it's not just motivational fluff. It's actually neuroscience. And when
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  Speaker 3: you say I will try to do anything, it keeps
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  Speaker 3: the threat system on. Your brain starts thinking, well, let's
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  Speaker 3: not invest too much. We might fail. Keep my options open. Right,
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  Speaker 3: So you're already operating on a very low vibe and
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  Speaker 3: your brain treats it as low commitment. It's uncertain, the
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  Speaker 3: stakes are low. You know, you'll have delaying, self doubt, procrastination,
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  Speaker 3: avoidance and all that stuff. When you say you'll try,
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  Speaker 3: but the minute you say do, it triggers your brain
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  Speaker 3: and it says, instead of I might be someone who's
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  Speaker 3: going to try to do this too, I am someone
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  Speaker 3: and I'm taking action. And you literally switch neural networks
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  Speaker 3: when you shift your wording. Because our words, our thoughts
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  Speaker 3: become our words. So I think I'm going to try
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  Speaker 3: to drink more water. I think I'm going to try
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  Speaker 3: to get off my phone. I think I'm going to
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  Speaker 3: try to save money. Thoughts become your words. Your words
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  Speaker 3: become your actions. So when you say you're going to
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  Speaker 3: try to do any of those things, you're saying you're
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  Speaker 3: gonna half heart them, and your brain is thinking, okay,
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  Speaker 3: it might not happen. I don't really have to put
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  Speaker 3: too much into this.
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  Speaker 2: But what do you think that is?
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  Speaker 1: Like, why do we say try, I'm gonna try this,
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  Speaker 1: or try that him and him try.
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  Speaker 2: I can't make a decision, can make a commitment. Why
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  Speaker 2: do we say that?
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  Speaker 1: Is it out of laziness or is it fear based,
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  Speaker 1: you know, fear of committing or fear of trying, trying
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  Speaker 1: and then failing.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, well, what is it.
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  Speaker 3: It's all of it. You know what, we're really not
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  Speaker 3: to blame because we've been taught to try our whole life. See,
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  Speaker 3: I'm really flipping a switch here. I'm really going against
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  Speaker 3: the grain when I say stop trying, because our parents
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  Speaker 3: taught us to try harder. Yeah, you're it to try,
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  Speaker 3: just try it. We were taught that that was a
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  Speaker 3: brave first step. We were taught that trying means we're doing.
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  Speaker 3: They didn't realize it, right, They didn't realize that they're
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  Speaker 3: really setting you up starting from second place, that when
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  Speaker 3: you say you're going to try, all of a sudden,
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  Speaker 3: you roll out that red carpet for excuses. I tried,
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  Speaker 3: but blank happened.
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  Speaker 1: Blame.
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  Speaker 3: I tried, but they wouldn't let me, and then there's
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  Speaker 3: no accountability. It's kind of like they were being kind.
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  Speaker 3: You know, just try it. You don't have to do it,
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  Speaker 3: but you know, it's a kind thing to say, just
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  Speaker 3: give it a try, because you don't really want to
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  Speaker 3: put accountability on someone. But the truth is you want
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  Speaker 3: to put accountability. You want them to win, you want
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  Speaker 3: them to succeed. So it's better to push with the
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  Speaker 3: strong language. And our brain it loves certainty. It loves
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  Speaker 3: to have strong words like doing, having, and being. It
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  Speaker 3: doesn't like this half hearted stuff because it doesn't know
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  Speaker 3: what to do. Well.
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  Speaker 1: Look at the start of a new year, it's like,
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  Speaker 1: how are we going to create actual change? How does
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  Speaker 1: your book help us create actual change? And I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I'm how do people listen to the show right now?
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: The same New Year's resolutions, which I hate that phrase anyways,
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  Speaker 1: but same year's resolutions every year are the same projects
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  Speaker 1: and things that we haven't gotten done. It's after year
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  Speaker 1: after year, the same stuff. Like, it's not how do
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  Speaker 1: we move the needle? How do we actually create change
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  Speaker 1: for this year and get things done? Reach some real
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  Speaker 1: goals here?
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  Speaker 3: Yep? So, and it's great. The new year is great
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  Speaker 3: anytime you want to reset, you know, a birthday or
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  Speaker 3: the New year, or even on a Monday. Okay, it's
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  Speaker 3: really wonderful to want to create change in your life.
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  Speaker 3: But if you are saying this year, I'm going to
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  Speaker 3: try to drink more water, I'm going to try to
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  Speaker 3: spend less time on my phone, I'm going to try
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  Speaker 3: to start my own business, right, So, if you've got
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  Speaker 3: all the resolutions going on, what I would say is
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  Speaker 3: take off the f there's no resolutions.
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  Speaker 2: Pick one, pick one y focus, Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: That you are willing to do Okay, that you're willing
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  Speaker 3: to stand behind and follow through on. That's number one.
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  Speaker 3: But the next thing is think about it. All the
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  Speaker 3: resolutions are usually fun things that we're taking away, you know,
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  Speaker 3: like oh my phone is fun, and I love drinking
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  Speaker 3: every night, and I love, you know, spending my money
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  Speaker 3: on Starbucks, DA pizza yeah Anita, yeah right. Those are
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  Speaker 3: so instead of thinking of it as I'm taking away
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  Speaker 3: something fun. This is what I would recommend everyone that's
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  Speaker 3: listening to reframe their thoughts okay and say, wow, what
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  Speaker 3: do I get to do this year that's in my control?
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  Speaker 3: That I get to make my life better? Buy? And
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  Speaker 3: so much is out of our control, Lisa, the economy,
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  Speaker 3: the weather, as you know, politics, like there's so much
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  Speaker 3: we can't control. So this is our moment twenty twenty
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  Speaker 3: six to say, wow, what do I get to do?
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  Speaker 3: Do not try that is in my control that's going
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  Speaker 3: to make my life better. I want to feel better,
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  Speaker 3: I want to have that new business. I want to
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  Speaker 3: spend more time with friends and read more books. So
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  Speaker 3: so how am I going to do that and set
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  Speaker 3: up a plan, pick your one thing, set up your plan,
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  Speaker 3: and please, for heaven's sake, do not try. Never let
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  Speaker 3: that little word creep in. And you're you're going to
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  Speaker 3: eliminate all the excuses, all the blame. You're going to
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  Speaker 3: have built in accountability. It is magical. It really is
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  Speaker 3: this superpower when you change your brain and change your words.
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  Speaker 1: What's great about taking that word out of your vocabulary
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  Speaker 1: and your thought process is that it wastes so much time.
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  Speaker 1: Like you gave the party example, which I love is
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  Speaker 1: can you come to my event later tonight? Oh, I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to try. I'll try to come. I'll try to
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  Speaker 1: come to your charity event. And then the whole day
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  Speaker 1: is should I go. I don't have anything to wear,
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, And now she's like expecting me to go.
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  Speaker 2: Because I said I would try.
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  Speaker 1: And so you're wasting all this brain space on the
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  Speaker 1: hun huh, on this back and forth.
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  Speaker 2: So if you say I can't go, but.
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  Speaker 1: If I can, I'll let you know by five or
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  Speaker 1: just I can't go, I can't make it happen maybe
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  Speaker 1: next time.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, or even better, Lisa, how about I'm not coming.
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  Speaker 3: You know it's not something I'm interested in. That's another
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  Speaker 3: reason we try is because we feel like it's mean
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  Speaker 3: to say no, so we offer to try, and we're
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  Speaker 3: not mean. We're being actually really kinder when you just
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  Speaker 3: say sorry, that's not my thing. I love you, and
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  Speaker 3: I appreciate you asking me and keep asking me to
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  Speaker 3: the next one. But you don't have to fluff it
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  Speaker 3: up with everything. I think people really admire people that
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: are very direct and very honest.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Sure, sure.
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  Speaker 1: So. In addition to your book, Stop Trying, the life
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  Speaker 1: transforming power of trying less and doing more in time
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  Speaker 1: for the New Year, you're also doing coaching about this,
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  Speaker 1: coaching people about all this and how to pull this
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  Speaker 1: all off. Coaching folks, You're doing workshops, doing panel discussions,
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  Speaker 1: speaking engagements, podcasts touch on that.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so much is going on. So you can.
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  Speaker 3: First of all, you can go to my website and
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: there's a link for my coaching on there, and I'll
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: probably running and be running a New Year's special. So
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  Speaker 3: it's really great. I'm fast. It's you know, three sessions
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  Speaker 3: and we identify what is your try and then we
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: get you into do action mode. Follow me on Instagram
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: because I'm doing really fun daily hits that are just
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: like it's like exercise. You have to keep get this
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  Speaker 3: getting this message into your brain, not try not, try
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  Speaker 3: not try. So every day I come up with kind
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: of fun, funny or very you know, scientific posts about it.
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  Speaker 3: I am speaking, I'm speaking. Oh my gosh, so many
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  Speaker 3: places I'm doing.
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  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: If you go to Marlon Wellness on Instagram, I'm doing
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: a really great day of science and soul with her.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: I'm doing a beautiful event in February. I'm going all
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: over the country. But follow me on my on my
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: website and it's all on there.
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  Speaker 2: All right.
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  Speaker 1: Once again, your book Stop Trying, the life transforming power
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  Speaker 1: of try and less and doing more, babac girl, Carl Andrasic,
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  Speaker 1: your website and Instagram.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Are it's stop dash trying dot com so boom, stop
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: dash trying dot com. Instagram is at Carla on drawsick
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: O N D R A S I k okay.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Let's make it the year and buy the book.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Buy the book on Amazon or anywhere books are sold.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: That's going to be the greatest gift you can give yourself,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: your kids, your friends, your business partners. The book.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Don't try to buy it, go buy it, just do it.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: Get off your butt.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Let's make things happen this year.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Come on people, ohoo twenty twenty six A.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Here we go. Thank you, Carla. Happy New Year, You're amazing.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Ew Happy New Year by