Latest / The Eye Believe Podcast / "📚 Books, Cancer, and Courage: Coping with Ocular Melanoma 💪"

Transcript

"📚 Books, Cancer, and Courage: Coping with Ocular Melanoma 💪" · The Eye Believe Podcast

0:00
Okay,
0:00
hold on,
0:00
guys, I
0:01
got to
0:01
get my
0:01
books.
0:02
They're
0:03
ginormous.
0:04
And
0:04
there's
0:04
so
0:05
many of them,
0:05
I don't
0:05
even know
0:06
if I can
0:06
pick them
0:06
up.
0:06
Oh, no.
0:07
Oh, no.
0:08
Okay,
0:08
okay.
0:09
Ha!
0:10
This isn't
0:10
even all
0:11
of my
0:11
favorite
0:11
books.
0:11
Oh,
0:12
dang it,
0:13
I
0:13
don't have one.
0:13
when
0:14
the moon
0:14
hatched.
0:15
I need
0:15
that.
0:15
Book.
0:17
Okay.
0:17
It's so
0:18
good.
0:19
Okay,
0:19
so
0:20
these are
0:20
some
0:20
of my
0:20
favorite
0:21
books,
0:21
and megan
0:22
and I
0:22
are here
0:23
to talk.
0:24
We're
0:24
here to
0:24
talk
0:24
about
0:25
the
0:25
psychology
0:26
of
0:26
reading
0:26
and how
0:27
reading
0:28
books
0:28
like this
0:29
or books
0:29
like
0:30
what's
0:30
on top,
0:30
like
0:30
radical
0:31
remission,
0:31
untamed
0:32
personal
0:33
development
0:33
books,
0:33
really
0:34
reading
0:34
of any
0:34
kind can
0:36
help
0:36
you cope
0:37
and just
0:37
thrive
0:38
through
0:38
your
0:38
cancer
0:38
diagnosis
0:39
with
0:39
ocular
0:39
melanoma.
0:40
So
0:40
newsflash,
0:41
both
0:42
megan
0:42
and I
0:42
have
0:43
ocular
0:43
melanoma.
0:44
megan,
0:44
what
0:45
are you
0:45
diagnosed
0:45
in?
0:46
It's
0:46
in my
0:47
right
0:47
eye.
0:47
I was diagnosed
0:48
with my
0:48
right eye
0:49
to look
0:49
at that.
0:50
Twins.
0:51
We're twins
0:52
and
0:53
we love
0:53
some of
0:53
the same books.
0:54
So
0:54
I was so excited
0:55
to find
0:55
megan on
0:55
Instagram.
0:56
She is literally
0:57
such
0:58
a doll
0:58
and she's
0:59
so fun.
1:00
Like
1:00
so much
1:01
fun to
1:01
talk to.
1:01
I'm just
1:02
going
1:02
to drop
1:02
one of my
1:03
favorite
1:03
quotes
1:03
that
1:03
has been
1:04
super
1:04
empowering
1:04
for me
1:05
this
1:05
year.
1:05
And it is
1:06
from
1:07
a court
1:07
of wings
1:07
and ruin
1:08
by Sarah
1:08
J. Moss.
1:08
And it is
1:09
only you
1:09
can
1:10
decide
1:10
what
1:11
breaks
1:11
you.
1:11
I love
1:12
that
1:12
quote,
1:12
and
1:12
I know
1:13
that's
1:13
one
1:13
of your
1:13
favorite
1:13
quotes
1:14
too.
1:14
megan,
1:15
I saw
1:15
one of
1:15
your
1:15
Instagrams
1:16
and you
1:16
shared
1:17
this reel
1:17
that was talking
1:18
about
1:18
just
1:18
some of
1:19
the
1:19
things
1:19
that
1:19
you have
1:20
kind of
1:20
drawn
1:20
some
1:21
connections
1:21
to that
1:22
have
1:22
helped
1:22
you in
1:22
coping
1:23
with what
1:23
you've
1:23
been
1:23
dealing
1:24
with
1:24
since,
1:24
what,
1:24
2023.
1:26
2023?
1:28
I was
1:28
diagnosed,
1:28
in
1:29
September
1:29
of 2023.
1:30
So it's
1:30
almost
1:30
been
1:31
one year
1:31
so talk
1:32
to us
1:32
a little
1:32
about
1:33
some of
1:33
the
1:33
connections
1:33
that
1:34
you've
1:34
been able
1:34
to make,
1:34
just in
1:35
the stories
1:36
that
1:36
you've read
1:36
since
1:37
you were
1:37
diagnosed
1:38
and
1:38
also the,
1:39
the books
1:39
that you,
1:40
have read
1:40
alongside
1:42
things
1:42
that
1:42
you've
1:42
been
1:42
experiencing,
1:43
like
1:43
scans
1:43
and
1:44
taking
1:44
medicine
1:44
and
1:44
things
1:45
like
1:45
that.
1:45
Thank you.
1:45
And it's
1:46
been
1:46
amazing
1:46
to meet
1:47
you too
1:47
danet
1:47
it's been
1:48
incredible
1:48
to
1:48
connect
1:48
with you
1:49
over
1:49
all of
1:50
these
1:50
books
1:50
as well
1:51
as our
1:51
diagnosis.
1:52
I
1:52
have been
1:53
a fantasy
1:53
reader
1:54
for a long
1:55
time,
1:55
but I,
1:55
I fell
1:56
out
1:56
of it,
1:56
an amount of time.
1:57
I really found
1:58
that
1:59
reading
1:59
these
2:00
fantasy
2:00
books
2:01
with
2:01
these
2:01
incredible
2:02
heroines
2:02
and main
2:03
characters
2:04
who are
2:04
going
2:04
through
2:04
so much
2:05
really
2:06
allowed me
2:06
to see
2:06
parts of
2:07
my
2:07
journey
2:08
in
2:09
their journeys.
2:10
So
2:10
some of these
2:11
characters
2:11
are going
2:12
through,
2:12
things
2:13
that are
2:13
similar
2:14
to
2:14
what I'm
2:14
going
2:14
through,
2:15
even
2:15
if it's
2:15
not
2:15
because
2:16
of a
2:16
cancer
2:16
diagnosis.
2:17
So, for
2:18
example,
2:18
Jude
2:19
duarte
2:19
who is
2:19
one of my
2:20
favorite
2:20
characters
2:21
from
2:21
Holly
2:21
Black's
2:22
The Cruel
2:22
Prince,
2:23
she takes
2:23
poison in
2:24
an
2:24
attempt
2:25
to make
2:25
herself
2:25
immune
2:26
from it,
2:26
a process
2:27
called
2:27
mithridatism
2:28
If I'm
2:28
pronouncing
2:29
that
2:29
right,
2:30
and
2:30
it makes me
2:30
think
2:31
about my
2:31
own
2:31
journey
2:32
with
2:32
sutant
2:33
taking
2:33
a chemo
2:33
pill,
2:34
taking
2:34
something
2:35
that sort
2:35
of feels
2:36
akin to
2:36
that,
2:36
like
2:37
poisoning
2:37
myself
2:37
to make
2:38
myself
2:38
stronger
2:39
in
2:39
the end
2:39
and,
2:40
and
2:40
really
2:40
make
2:41
myself
2:41
immune
2:41
from that.
2:42
And so
2:43
that was
2:43
something
2:43
that I
2:43
really
2:44
found
2:44
powerful.
2:45
Okay.
2:46
And then
2:46
like,
2:46
what
2:46
about
2:47
like
2:47
dealing
2:47
with some
2:47
of the
2:48
eye side
2:48
effects?
2:48
Like
2:49
one of
2:49
the
2:49
things
2:49
on your
2:49
reel
2:50
says,
2:50
my eye
2:50
isn't
2:50
droopy
2:51
and red
2:51
and
2:52
permanently
2:52
dilated.
2:53
My eye
2:54
is.
2:55
Yeah,
2:56
scarred
2:57
and a
2:57
sign of
2:57
my
2:58
survival.
2:58
Honestly.
2:59
yeah.
2:59
There are
3:00
two
3:00
characters
3:00
that
3:01
really
3:01
came to
3:01
mind.
3:02
You know,
3:03
I was
3:03
thinking
3:03
about
3:03
how
3:04
different
3:04
I feel
3:05
when I
3:05
look
3:05
in the
3:05
mirror
3:06
right
3:06
now, and
3:07
I'm still
3:07
adjusting
3:08
to,
3:09
you know,
3:09
the way
3:09
that
3:09
my eye
3:10
and
3:10
and my
3:10
face
3:11
look,
3:11
and
3:11
something
3:12
that's
3:12
really
3:12
powerful
3:13
from
3:13
these books
3:14
is that
3:14
characters
3:15
often
3:15
bear
3:16
scars
3:16
and,
3:17
you know,
3:18
the signs
3:18
of their
3:18
survival
3:19
on
3:20
the way
3:20
that they
3:20
appear
3:21
as well.
3:22
And so
3:23
I've read
3:23
from
3:23
Blood
3:23
and Ash,
3:24
the main
3:24
character,
3:25
Poppy,
3:26
has
3:26
scarring
3:26
on her
3:27
face.
3:27
That's
3:27
a sign
3:28
of her
3:28
survival.
3:29
I read
3:29
A Court
3:30
of Thorns
3:30
and
3:30
Roses.
3:31
Lucien
3:32
van Sarah
3:33
has a
3:33
mechanical
3:34
eye.
3:34
That's
3:35
a sign
3:35
of his
3:35
survival,
3:36
and just
3:37
thinking
3:37
about how
3:38
these
3:38
characters
3:38
bear
3:39
those
3:39
scars
3:40
as a
3:40
testament
3:40
to their
3:41
survival,
3:42
helps me
3:42
think
3:42
about,
3:43
you know,
3:43
the
3:43
changes
3:44
in
3:44
the way
3:44
that I
3:44
look.
3:45
I know
3:46
one
3:46
of our
3:46
favorite
3:46
characters,
3:47
like,
3:47
both
3:47
of our
3:48
favorites,
3:48
is Ellen
3:49
Aelin
3:50
from the
3:50
Throne
3:51
of Glass
3:51
series.
3:51
And
3:52
I love
3:53
what
3:53
you said
3:53
about
3:54
how, I'm
3:54
not
3:54
getting
3:54
my scans.
3:55
I'm
3:55
channeling
3:56
aelin in
3:57
the iron
3:57
box
3:58
because
3:58
I know
3:58
so
3:59
many of
3:59
us feel
3:59
that,
4:00
sense of,
4:00
claustrophobic.
4:01
Like
4:01
we feel
4:02
claustrophobic
4:02
or
4:03
we feel
4:03
super
4:03
anxious
4:04
when we go
4:04
in the
4:04
MRI tube.
4:05
that was
4:06
that was
4:06
super
4:07
powerful
4:07
for me,
4:07
especially
4:08
because
4:08
that's
4:08
such a
4:08
challenging
4:09
period
4:09
in this
4:10
character's
4:10
story.
4:11
in throne
4:11
of glass.
4:13
when I
4:13
had my
4:13
first
4:14
MRI, it
4:14
was
4:14
around
4:15
the time
4:15
that I
4:15
was
4:16
reading
4:16
Kingdom
4:16
of Ash,
4:17
which is
4:17
the last
4:18
book
4:18
in the
4:18
Throne
4:19
of Glass
4:19
series.
4:20
This
4:20
is such
4:21
an
4:21
emotional
4:21
read
4:22
for me,
4:22
and I had
4:23
never
4:23
had an
4:24
MRI
4:25
previously.
4:26
and so
4:26
the experience
4:27
is being
4:28
in this
4:28
iron box.
4:29
It's
4:29
loud.
4:30
It's
4:30
terrifying.
4:31
You can't
4:31
move.
4:32
it
4:32
makes you
4:33
really
4:33
feel so
4:34
powerless
4:34
over
4:35
the situation
4:35
that's
4:36
happening
4:36
to you.
4:37
I remember
4:38
reading
4:38
the
4:38
scenes
4:39
of aelin
4:40
being in
4:40
the
4:40
iron box
4:41
and just
4:42
feeling,
4:43
in this
4:43
scene,
4:44
her mom
4:44
comes
4:44
and
4:44
speaks
4:45
to her.
4:45
just
4:45
really
4:46
thinking
4:46
about
4:47
that
4:47
scene
4:47
while
4:48
I was
4:48
in the
4:48
MRI
4:49
machine
4:49
and
4:49
in my own
4:50
iron box
4:51
just made
4:52
me feel
4:52
like
4:52
I was
4:53
experiencing
4:53
something
4:54
that this
4:54
character
4:55
had
4:55
experienced,
4:56
overcome,
4:57
triumphed
4:58
over,
4:59
and
4:59
it helped
4:59
me get
5:00
through,
5:00
that
5:00
really
5:01
difficult
5:01
experience.
5:02
Well,
5:03
and
5:03
one of my
5:03
favorite
5:03
quotes
5:04
that
5:04
actually
5:05
kind of
5:05
crosses
5:05
the universe
5:06
is in
5:06
Sarah's
5:07
stories.
5:07
There is
5:08
you
5:08
do not
5:08
yield.
5:09
you
5:09
do not
5:10
fear,
5:10
you do
5:11
not
5:11
falter,
5:11
you do not
5:12
yield.
5:12
And
5:13
and
5:13
obviously,
5:14
we still
5:14
feel
5:14
fear,
5:15
right?
5:15
We feel
5:15
the scariness
5:16
of the
5:17
scans
5:17
coming
5:17
up.
5:18
I know,
5:18
like like
5:18
I have
5:19
scans
5:19
coming up
5:20
in less
5:20
than a
5:20
month,
5:20
and I'm
5:21
already
5:21
a little
5:21
bit of an
5:22
anxious
5:22
wreck.
5:23
However,
5:24
like just
5:24
that,
5:25
that
5:25
inner
5:25
strength
5:26
that
5:26
almost
5:26
comes
5:27
from
5:27
like,
5:27
kind of
5:28
borrowing
5:28
the
5:29
affirmation
5:29
of this
5:29
character,
5:30
if
5:30
that makes
5:30
any
5:31
sense.
5:31
that
5:32
helped me
5:32
a lot.
5:32
And
5:33
I think
5:33
there's
5:33
another
5:33
one that
5:34
I really
5:34
like from
5:34
Silver
5:35
Flames.
5:35
Maybe
5:35
you
5:35
remember
5:36
it's the,
5:37
it's from
5:38
when
5:38
they're
5:38
doing
5:38
the mind
5:39
stilling
5:39
Right.
5:39
So mind
5:40
stilling
5:40
in the
5:40
story
5:41
is
5:41
basically
5:42
a it's,
5:43
it's
5:43
equivalent
5:44
to
5:44
meditation.
5:45
And
5:46
they are
5:46
learning
5:46
how to,
5:47
you know,
5:47
apply
5:48
mind
5:48
stilling.
5:48
And
5:48
one of
5:49
the
5:49
things
5:49
that
5:49
it says
5:50
is, I am
5:50
the rock
5:51
against
5:51
which
5:52
the surf
5:52
crashes.
5:53
Nothing
5:53
can break
5:54
me.
5:54
that's
5:55
been a
5:55
powerful
5:55
thing
5:55
for me,
5:56
as well
5:56
as just
5:57
to kind
5:57
of remind
5:57
myself
5:58
of that
5:58
inner
5:58
strength
5:58
and to
5:59
be able
5:59
to do
5:59
that.
6:00
Using
6:00
these
6:00
stories
6:01
has been
6:01
pivotal
6:02
for me,
6:02
especially
6:03
in
6:03
dealing
6:03
with,
6:04
a
6:04
metastatic
6:04
diagnosis,
6:05
recurrence.
6:05
cancer
6:06
spread
6:07
and then
6:07
came
6:07
back,
6:08
honestly
6:08
not fun.
6:09
But I
6:10
like
6:10
to say
6:10
a book
6:11
a day,
6:12
whatever
6:12
this says
6:13
keeps
6:13
the
6:13
mental
6:13
breakdowns
6:14
away.
6:15
That's
6:15
what
6:15
makes
6:15
sure it
6:15
says,
6:16
and
6:16
I live
6:16
by this
6:17
because I
6:17
literally
6:18
will
6:18
read.
6:18
And
6:19
so when I
6:19
came
6:19
across
6:19
Megan's
6:20
account
6:20
on
6:20
Instagram
6:21
and
6:21
she was
6:21
basically
6:22
just
6:22
talking
6:22
about
6:23
the
6:23
psychology
6:23
of
6:24
reading
6:24
and
6:24
relating
6:24
it to her
6:25
cancer
6:25
journey,
6:26
and to
6:26
just
6:27
really
6:27
just
6:27
applying
6:28
it to
6:28
how the
6:29
brain
6:29
works.
6:29
It was
6:29
so fascinating
6:30
to me
6:31
because
6:31
I eat
6:31
this
6:32
stuff up.
6:32
Megan,
6:32
let's
6:32
kind
6:33
of dive
6:33
in a
6:33
little bit
6:33
more.
6:34
Is there
6:34
anything else
6:35
you want
6:35
to share?
6:36
before
6:36
we get
6:36
started
6:36
on the
6:37
whole,
6:37
like
6:37
healthy
6:38
escapism
6:38
through
6:38
stories,
6:39
do
6:39
you want
6:40
to just
6:40
give us
6:40
kind of
6:41
a little
6:41
bit of
6:41
an
6:41
elevator
6:42
pitch of,
6:42
your
6:43
journey
6:43
with
6:43
ocular
6:44
melanoma
6:44
so far?
6:45
I was
6:46
diagnosed
6:46
almost
6:47
a year
6:47
ago.
6:47
It'll be
6:48
a year
6:48
in a few
6:48
weeks,
6:49
actually,
6:50
and my
6:50
diagnosis
6:51
was a
6:51
little
6:52
different,
6:52
I think,
6:52
than the
6:53
typical
6:53
way that
6:53
most
6:54
people
6:54
are
6:54
diagnosed
6:55
with this
6:55
disease.
6:56
I actually
6:56
came
6:57
into the
6:57
emergency
6:58
room
6:58
with a
6:58
detached
6:59
retina.
7:00
I'd been
7:00
having no
7:00
symptoms
7:01
prior,
7:02
one night
7:02
my
7:03
two and a
7:03
half year
7:03
old
7:03
daughter
7:04
woke up
7:04
in the
7:05
middle of
7:05
the night.
7:06
I was
7:06
sleeping
7:06
in her
7:06
bed
7:07
with her.
7:07
after a
7:07
nightmare,
7:08
she rolled
7:09
over and
7:09
elbowed
7:10
me in my
7:10
right
7:11
eye,
7:11
which
7:12
I really
7:12
thought
7:12
nothing
7:12
of, you
7:13
know,
7:14
toddler.
7:15
So
7:15
painful.
7:16
it was
7:17
painful.
7:17
I called out,
7:18
but
7:18
we went
7:18
back to
7:19
sleep
7:19
after.
7:19
Toddler
7:20
limbs are
7:20
always
7:21
flailing.
7:21
Like,
7:22
you know,
7:22
moms out
7:23
there,
7:23
I
7:23
probably
7:23
relate,
7:24
and I
7:25
really thought
7:25
nothing
7:25
of it
7:26
until
7:26
about
7:26
a day
7:27
later
7:27
when I
7:27
began to
7:28
lose
7:28
vision
7:28
in my
7:29
right
7:29
eye.
7:30
So I went
7:31
to the
7:31
emergency
7:32
room at
7:32
Wills
7:33
Eye
7:33
Hospital,
7:34
which is
7:34
close
7:35
to me.
7:35
I live
7:35
in South
7:36
Jersey
7:37
my,
7:37
emergency
7:38
room.
7:38
Doctors
7:38
were
7:39
really
7:39
surprised
7:39
to see
7:40
that
7:40
I had a
7:41
detached
7:41
retina.
7:42
Usually a
7:42
toddler's
7:43
elbow
7:43
is not
7:44
strong
7:44
enough.
7:44
they
7:45
usually
7:45
see, more
7:46
severe
7:46
head
7:46
trauma.
7:46
Come in
7:47
with a
7:47
detached retina.
7:48
but
7:49
that's
7:49
when the
7:49
doctors
7:50
noticed
7:50
that the
7:50
reason
7:51
my retina
7:51
was so
7:52
fragile
7:53
was
7:53
because
7:53
there was
7:54
a mass
7:54
underneath of it.
7:55
And so
7:56
that's
7:56
they
7:56
suspected
7:57
that
7:57
it was
7:57
ocular
7:58
melanoma.
7:58
it's
7:59
really,
7:59
a miracle
8:00
that my
8:00
daughter
8:00
happened
8:01
to
8:01
elbow me
8:01
in
8:02
the eye,
8:02
that happened
8:03
to have
8:03
cancer,
8:04
which
8:04
I was
8:05
having no
8:05
symptoms
8:06
of and
8:06
would
8:06
have
8:07
taken
8:07
much
8:07
longer to
8:08
get
8:08
diagnosed.
8:09
so it was
8:09
an
8:09
unusual
8:10
path to
8:10
get
8:10
there.
8:10
she is,
8:11
my
8:11
lifesaver.
8:12
she is really
8:13
the reason
8:13
that,
8:13
that we
8:14
found it
8:14
in the
8:14
first
8:14
place.
8:16
that's
8:16
absolutely
8:17
insane.
8:18
And also
8:19
incredible
8:19
it
8:19
like
8:19
lined up
8:20
that way
8:20
because
8:21
I know
8:21
my right
8:22
eye
8:22
was kind
8:22
of
8:22
similar,
8:22
that
8:23
I had a
8:23
detached
8:23
retina
8:24
that was
8:24
the reason
8:25
we even
8:25
found
8:26
the tumor.
8:26
But
8:26
thankfully,
8:27
well,
8:27
maybe not
8:28
thankfully,
8:28
but mine
8:29
just
8:29
kind of
8:29
randomly
8:30
detached.
8:30
There was
8:30
no head
8:31
trauma
8:31
associated
8:32
with
8:32
toddlerhood,
8:33
though.
8:33
I could
8:33
have had
8:34
that happen
8:34
because
8:34
I did
8:35
have
8:35
a baby
8:35
at the time.
8:36
so where
8:36
are you
8:36
now?
8:37
You said
8:37
you're
8:37
almost a
8:38
year out.
8:38
do
8:38
you want
8:39
to share
8:39
a little
8:39
of Kind
8:39
of.
8:40
what are some
8:40
of the
8:40
things
8:40
you cope
8:41
with
8:41
right now
8:42
since
8:42
your
8:42
diagnosis?
8:43
like the
8:43
biopsy
8:44
results,
8:44
scans,
8:45
things
8:45
like
8:45
that.
8:46
I had
8:46
my
8:46
brachytherapy
8:47
in
8:48
October
8:48
of 2023.
8:49
That's
8:50
when I
8:50
really
8:50
started
8:51
to get
8:51
back into
8:51
reading.
8:52
And
8:53
kind of
8:53
similar
8:53
to you,
8:54
I was in
8:54
the hotel
8:55
having my
8:56
brachytherapy,
8:57
unable
8:57
to open
8:58
my left
8:59
unaffected
9:00
eye.
9:00
And so I
9:01
listened
9:02
to
9:02
audiobooks.
9:02
And
9:03
that's
9:03
when I
9:03
listened
9:03
to the
9:03
first
9:04
avatar
9:04
book.
9:05
after
9:05
I had
9:06
brachytherapy,
9:07
I
9:07
then had
9:08
to have
9:08
retina
9:09
repair,
9:10
which
9:10
requires
9:11
face down
9:12
for a
9:12
week,
9:13
straight.
9:14
And so
9:15
I really
9:15
was just
9:16
staring
9:16
at my
9:17
feet for
9:17
a week
9:18
straight.
9:18
And I
9:18
was able
9:19
to read
9:19
during
9:19
that
9:20
time,
9:20
which was
9:21
also
9:21
a huge
9:22
source of
9:22
support.
9:23
So going
9:24
through
9:25
all of
9:25
that is
9:25
really
9:25
what
9:25
got me
9:26
back into
9:26
reading.
9:27
Since
9:28
those
9:28
treatments,
9:29
I've had
9:29
a few
9:29
other
9:30
surgeries
9:30
to treat
9:31
cataracts.
9:32
I've
9:32
also had,
9:33
I've
9:33
started
9:33
sutent
9:34
so
9:35
that also
9:35
is,
9:35
you know,
9:36
it's own
9:36
journey
9:37
with that
9:37
medication.
9:38
And
9:38
I've been
9:39
having my
9:39
every
9:40
three
9:40
month
9:40
scans,
9:41
which
9:41
I need
9:42
to have
9:42
as
9:42
someone
9:42
who has
9:43
a high
9:43
risk
9:44
prognosis
9:44
similar
9:45
to you
9:45
danet
9:46
I just had
9:47
my most
9:47
recent
9:48
scan last
9:49
week.
9:50
and so
9:50
that came back
9:51
clear.
9:52
I, now
9:53
get to have
9:53
three months
9:54
where
9:54
I don't
9:55
have to
9:55
think
9:55
about
9:55
scans.
9:56
which
9:57
is a nice
9:57
little
9:57
break
9:58
from it.
9:59
Well,
9:59
and
9:59
just like
9:59
you were
10:00
saying,
10:00
with the
10:00
whole
10:00
treatment,
10:01
like
10:01
brachytherapy
10:02
for me,
10:02
was
10:02
the same
10:03
where
10:03
I couldn't
10:03
open
10:04
my left
10:04
eye,
10:04
I couldn't,
10:04
literally
10:05
couldn't
10:05
hardly
10:05
open it
10:06
to, like,
10:06
look
10:06
to go
10:07
anywhere
10:07
like the
10:07
bathroom.
10:08
I just
10:09
remember
10:09
it was
10:09
so painful.
10:10
It was like
10:11
painful
10:11
to the
10:12
point of
10:12
distraction.
10:12
But I had
10:13
a hard
10:13
time
10:13
actually
10:14
sleeping.
10:15
And so
10:15
I would
10:15
just kind
10:15
of rest
10:16
my eyes.
10:16
And I
10:17
was
10:17
listening
10:17
to
10:18
Midnight
10:18
Sun by
10:19
Stephanie
10:20
Myers,
10:20
and
10:21
it was
10:21
when that
10:21
like
10:22
initial
10:22
Twilight
10:23
perspective
10:23
from
10:24
Edward's
10:24
perspective,
10:25
those
10:25
of you
10:25
who are
10:25
like
10:25
Twilight
10:26
diehards,
10:27
if you
10:27
remember
10:27
that
10:28
generation
10:28
of us,
10:29
I think
10:29
you and I
10:29
are
10:29
probably
10:30
in that
10:30
generation.
10:31
Yeah,
10:32
the
10:32
millennials
10:32
were so
10:33
cheesy,
10:33
let's own
10:34
it,
10:34
right?
10:34
I just
10:34
remember
10:35
listening
10:35
to that
10:35
book and
10:36
it was
10:36
so
10:37
helpful
10:38
to have
10:38
that
10:38
story,
10:39
even
10:39
though
10:39
I knew
10:39
the story,
10:40
it was just
10:41
so
10:41
helpful
10:41
to have
10:41
that to
10:42
focus on
10:42
while
10:43
so many
10:43
other
10:44
things
10:44
were out
10:44
of my control,
10:45
and
10:45
there were
10:45
just
10:46
so many
10:46
other
10:46
kind of
10:47
scary
10:47
aspects
10:47
to that
10:48
week of
10:48
waiting
10:49
to have
10:49
the
10:49
plaque
10:49
taken
10:50
off.
10:50
also just
10:51
the fact
10:51
that,
10:51
I think
10:52
you
10:52
probably
10:52
relate,
10:52
your daughter
10:53
was young
10:53
enough
10:53
that you
10:54
probably
10:54
couldn't
10:54
be around
10:55
her
10:55
during
10:55
brachytherapy
10:56
right?
10:57
I couldn't
10:57
be around
10:57
both
10:58
or all
10:58
three of
10:58
my kids,
10:59
including
10:59
my
11:00
previously
11:00
breastfeeding
11:01
baby
11:01
and so
11:02
that was
11:02
like
11:02
devastating
11:03
to me.
11:03
And so
11:03
I really needed
11:04
I needed those
11:05
stories,
11:05
right?
11:06
I needed
11:06
the
11:06
distraction.
11:07
I needed
11:07
the
11:07
connection
11:08
that
11:08
I could
11:08
find in
11:09
a story.
11:10
and
11:10
that was
11:10
really,
11:11
just life
11:12
altering
11:12
in
11:12
some ways
11:13
for me
11:13
in that,
11:13
in that
11:14
time.
11:14
that
11:14
escapism
11:15
can be
11:16
really
11:16
healthy
11:17
and
11:17
helpful
11:18
for
11:18
people
11:18
who are
11:18
going
11:19
through
11:19
these
11:19
acute,
11:20
traumatic
11:20
experiences,
11:21
like
11:22
each of
11:22
us, was
11:22
going
11:23
through
11:23
at that
11:23
time.
11:24
really
11:24
being
11:24
able to
11:25
sort of
11:25
provide
11:26
yourself
11:27
with
11:27
a bit
11:27
of relief
11:28
from
11:29
what's
11:29
actually
11:29
happening
11:30
in
11:30
the moment
11:31
by, using
11:32
your
11:32
imagination,
11:33
getting
11:33
really
11:33
deep into
11:34
a book,
11:35
getting
11:35
into this
11:35
sense
11:36
of flow
11:36
where
11:37
you are
11:37
really
11:38
like
11:38
not
11:39
thinking
11:39
about
11:39
what's
11:39
happening
11:40
to you,
11:40
where
11:40
you are,
11:41
your own
11:42
future,
11:42
having
11:43
anxious
11:43
thoughts
11:43
about
11:44
you know,
11:44
what this
11:44
could
11:45
mean for
11:45
your
11:45
future,
11:45
ruminating
11:46
on what
11:46
you've
11:47
been
11:47
through
11:47
in the
11:47
recent past.
11:48
It allows
11:49
us
11:49
to kind
11:49
of
11:50
disconnect
11:50
from that,
11:51
which is
11:52
really
11:52
important,
11:52
you know,
11:53
especially
11:53
as we're
11:53
having
11:54
these
11:54
very,
11:54
very
11:54
acute
11:55
traumatic
11:56
experiences
11:57
that
11:57
are like
11:57
an injury
11:58
for our
11:58
brain,
11:59
and our
11:59
brain
11:59
needs
12:00
time to
12:00
sort of
12:01
step
12:02
away,
12:02
stop
12:03
thinking about it
12:03
for just
12:04
a few minutes
12:05
so
12:05
that
12:05
it can
12:05
rest and
12:06
repair
12:06
and try
12:07
to heal.
12:08
Well.
12:09
And I
12:09
love what
12:09
you said,
12:10
when
12:10
we were
12:10
talking
12:10
previously,
12:11
like how
12:11
you
12:11
talked
12:12
about how
12:12
denial is
12:13
a form
12:13
of
12:14
protection
12:15
for your
12:15
brain,
12:16
like,
12:16
so that
12:16
it can
12:17
go
12:17
through
12:17
that
12:17
healing
12:17
process
12:18
after
12:18
something
12:18
traumatic,
12:19
like a
12:19
cancer
12:20
diagnosis.
12:20
That was huge
12:21
for me.
12:22
I was always
12:22
associated
12:23
a cancer
12:24
diagnosis
12:24
with,
12:24
this is trauma.
12:25
But
12:26
I didn't
12:26
ever kind
12:26
of draw
12:27
that
12:27
correlation
12:27
to your
12:28
brain
12:28
has to
12:28
rest and
12:29
recover
12:30
the
12:30
same way
12:30
the rest of
12:31
your body
12:31
has to
12:31
rest and
12:31
recover
12:32
from,
12:32
say,
12:32
surgery.
12:33
So does
12:34
your
12:34
brain.
12:36
We can't
12:36
actively
12:37
process
12:37
and heal
12:38
from
12:38
things,
12:39
as
12:39
they're
12:39
ongoing
12:40
and
12:40
as it's
12:41
so
12:41
acutely
12:41
happening,
12:42
you really
12:42
need
12:43
time to
12:44
have a
12:44
little
12:44
distance,
12:45
a little
12:45
space
12:46
from it.
12:46
your brain
12:47
is always
12:47
working
12:47
to
12:48
protect
12:48
you.
12:49
your brain
12:49
is doing
12:49
everything
12:50
it can do
12:50
to keep
12:51
you safe
12:51
from,
12:52
scary big
12:53
things
12:53
that are
12:53
happening
12:53
in the
12:54
world.
12:54
And
12:54
denial
12:55
is one
12:56
really
12:56
inherent
12:56
way that
12:57
our
12:57
brains
12:57
operate
12:58
to try to
12:58
protect
12:59
us.
13:00
we talk
13:00
about
13:00
this idea
13:01
of
13:01
escapism,
13:02
right?
13:02
And
13:02
I know
13:02
you
13:02
kind of
13:03
led off
13:03
talking a
13:04
little
13:04
about this,
13:04
and
13:04
this is
13:05
kind of
13:05
the meat
13:06
of what
13:06
we want
13:06
to cover
13:06
today.
13:07
it's just
13:07
this idea
13:08
that,
13:08
healthy
13:08
distractions
13:09
are
13:10
reading
13:10
a book
13:10
or
13:10
listening
13:11
to
13:11
a story
13:11
or even
13:12
watching
13:12
a good
13:12
TV show,
13:13
those
13:13
are
13:14
really,
13:14
really
13:14
helpful
13:14
to our brains
13:15
so that
13:16
we can
13:16
kind of
13:16
distance
13:17
ourselves
13:17
from
13:17
our diagnosis.
13:18
so let's
13:19
talk
13:19
about
13:19
some of
13:19
the ways
13:20
that
13:21
it can
13:21
really be
13:22
helpful
13:23
and
13:23
a positive
13:23
thing
13:24
to use
13:24
that
13:25
almost
13:25
healthy
13:25
denial.
13:26
for
13:26
example,
13:27
I'm
13:28
looking
13:28
in our,
13:28
section
13:28
of
13:29
talking
13:29
about
13:29
things
13:29
like,
13:30
the
13:30
uncertainty
13:30
in the
13:30
unknown
13:31
our
13:31
distress
13:32
tolerance.
13:32
let's
13:32
talk
13:33
a little
13:33
bit about
13:34
those
13:34
things.
13:35
there's
13:35
so much
13:36
that's
13:36
uncertain
13:37
when
13:37
we're
13:37
going
13:38
through,
13:38
the
13:39
earliest
13:39
phases of
13:40
this
13:40
disease,
13:41
when you're
13:41
first
13:41
diagnosed,
13:42
when
13:42
you're
13:42
going
13:43
through
13:43
treatment,
13:43
so much
13:44
that's
13:44
unknown
13:45
about
13:45
this.
13:45
one of
13:46
the
13:46
things
13:46
that
13:46
can be
13:47
really
13:47
protective
13:48
during
13:48
that time
13:49
for
13:49
people's
13:49
mental
13:50
health
13:50
is to
13:51
practice
13:51
distress
13:52
tolerance
13:53
or
13:53
the idea
13:54
that
13:54
we need
13:54
to
13:55
sort of
13:55
be able
13:55
to sit
13:56
with
13:57
these
13:57
big,
13:58
scary,
13:58
uncomfortable
13:59
emotions.
14:00
those
14:01
emotions
14:01
are going
14:01
to
14:01
happen.
14:02
We're in
14:03
something
14:03
that is,
14:04
you know,
14:04
it's
14:05
logical
14:05
for us
14:06
to feel
14:06
high
14:07
levels of
14:07
distress,
14:08
but
14:08
how can
14:09
we sort
14:09
of help
14:09
ourselves,
14:10
tolerate
14:11
that a
14:11
little
14:11
bit?
14:12
distraction
14:13
is one
14:13
really
14:13
important
14:14
way
14:14
that
14:14
people
14:15
tolerate
14:15
distress.
14:16
It's a
14:16
skill
14:17
that,
14:17
you know,
14:18
that we
14:18
practice
14:18
and talk
14:19
about
14:19
a lot
14:19
in
14:19
psychology.
14:21
And
14:21
distraction
14:21
is one
14:22
really
14:22
important
14:22
way that
14:23
people
14:23
can kind
14:24
of take
14:24
a little
14:24
bit of,
14:25
of a break
14:26
and
14:26
whether
14:26
that's
14:27
through,
14:27
you know,
14:28
reading
14:28
the kinds
14:28
of books
14:29
that you
14:29
and I
14:29
really
14:30
love to
14:30
read,
14:31
I think
14:31
other
14:31
people
14:32
sort of
14:32
find that
14:33
distraction
14:33
and other
14:34
avenues
14:34
through
14:35
different
14:35
hobbies
14:35
or TV
14:36
shows.
14:37
It's not
14:37
always a
14:38
bad thing
14:38
to get
14:39
lost,
14:39
in some
14:40
activity
14:40
or some
14:41
other
14:41
world.
14:42
Of
14:43
course,
14:43
we have
14:43
to like,
14:44
cope with
14:44
our reality
14:45
at
14:45
some point.
14:46
And
14:46
we can't
14:46
always be
14:47
lost in
14:47
this,
14:47
this
14:47
other
14:48
world.
14:48
for that
14:49
time
14:49
when it's
14:49
healthy
14:50
and
14:50
protective
14:51
and
14:51
you're
14:51
able to
14:51
sort of
14:52
step
14:52
away,
14:53
it can be
14:53
a real resource.
14:55
and
14:55
it sounds
14:55
like it
14:56
can
14:56
really
14:56
just
14:57
let you
14:57
process
14:58
something
14:58
it can
14:59
let you
14:59
process
14:59
difficult
15:00
emotions
15:01
without
15:01
actually
15:03
going
15:03
through
15:03
the emotion
15:04
yourself.
15:05
I'm
15:05
trying to
15:05
explain
15:05
this,
15:06
and I
15:06
don't
15:06
want to
15:06
feel like
15:07
I'm doing
15:07
as good
15:07
of a job
15:08
as you
15:08
did.
15:08
but
15:09
just like
15:09
the fear
15:09
in the
15:09
story
15:10
versus
15:10
your fear
15:10
in the
15:11
real
15:11
life,
15:11
right?
15:11
That that
15:12
if you're
15:12
experiencing
15:13
fear
15:13
alongside
15:14
a
15:14
character,
15:14
it's
15:14
different
15:15
than when
15:16
you're
15:16
actually
15:17
experiencing
15:17
that
15:18
fear,
15:18
because
15:18
of
15:18
something
15:19
that's
15:19
happening
15:19
in your
15:20
life.
15:20
And to
15:20
you.
15:22
Yeah, it
15:22
can help
15:23
us
15:23
practice
15:23
emotion
15:24
regulation.
15:25
So
15:25
emotion
15:25
regulation
15:26
is this
15:26
idea that
15:27
we can,
15:28
to some
15:28
degree,
15:29
tune up
15:29
or tune
15:30
down
15:30
the emotions
15:31
that
15:31
we're feeling.
15:32
And so
15:32
when we
15:33
read a
15:33
book,
15:33
naturally
15:34
there are
15:35
emotions
15:35
that
15:35
arise.
15:36
As we're
15:36
on this
15:36
journey
15:37
with the
15:37
character.
15:38
There's
15:38
tension,
15:39
there's
15:39
stress,
15:39
there's
15:40
confusion,
15:41
there's
15:41
joy,
15:42
there's
15:42
a
15:42
nervousness.
15:43
You know,
15:43
we feel
15:44
apprehensive
15:44
and
15:45
we feel
15:45
triumphant
15:46
after the
15:46
big fight
15:47
and the
15:47
big
15:47
battle.
15:48
yeah.
15:48
And
15:49
because
15:49
we're
15:49
sort of
15:50
choosing
15:50
to put
15:50
ourselves
15:51
in that
15:51
situation,
15:52
it gives
15:53
us
15:53
control
15:54
over
15:54
those
15:54
emotions.
15:55
And so
15:55
we're
15:56
able
15:56
to feel
15:57
a little
15:57
bit of
15:57
that,
15:58
that
15:58
scary
15:59
feeling,
15:59
that
16:00
fear,
16:00
that
16:01
despair,
16:02
and then
16:03
naturally
16:03
sort of
16:04
watch
16:04
that
16:04
emotion
16:05
resolve
16:05
on
16:05
its own.
16:07
and
16:07
so
16:07
this sort
16:07
of helps
16:08
us with
16:08
our own
16:09
emotions
16:10
in
16:10
real life
16:10
when we
16:11
step away
16:11
from the book,
16:12
we know
16:13
that
16:13
we might
16:14
feel
16:14
despair,
16:15
we might feel
16:15
stressed,
16:16
we might feel fear,
16:17
but
16:18
it will
16:18
always
16:19
come to a
16:20
lower
16:20
point.
16:20
Those
16:21
emotions
16:21
peak,
16:22
and
16:22
then they
16:22
resolve
16:23
over
16:23
time.
16:24
it can
16:24
really
16:25
help us
16:25
translate
16:25
those
16:26
skills
16:26
outside
16:27
the world
16:27
of
16:27
the book.
16:28
Yeah
16:29
I love
16:29
that.
16:29
And we're
16:29
going
16:29
to
16:29
have to
16:30
come back
16:30
to this
16:30
and talk
16:31
a little
16:31
more in
16:31
depth
16:32
about the
16:32
emotional
16:32
regulation.
16:33
So stay
16:34
tuned
16:34
because
16:34
I'm
16:34
going
16:34
to get
16:35
megan
16:35
back
16:35
and we're
16:35
going
16:36
to chat
16:36
a whole
16:36
lot about
16:37
emotional
16:37
regulation
16:38
and just
16:39
kind of
16:39
how this
16:39
happens
16:40
through
16:40
story,
16:41
and
16:41
the ways
16:41
that,
16:41
fantasy
16:42
reading
16:42
or just
16:43
reading
16:43
in
16:43
general,
16:44
kind of
16:44
using
16:44
that
16:45
kind of
16:45
getting
16:45
lost can
16:46
help you
16:46
to do
16:46
that.
16:47
I don't know
16:47
if you
16:47
were
16:48
like this
16:48
and maybe
16:49
you
16:49
weren't,
16:49
I know
16:50
when I
16:50
first was
16:50
diagnosed
16:51
and I
16:51
lost
16:51
vision
16:52
almost
16:52
completely
16:52
in my
16:53
right
16:53
eye,
16:54
even
16:54
before
16:54
it was
16:54
enucleated,
16:55
I had a really
16:56
hard time
16:57
feeling
16:57
like
16:57
I was
16:57
capable
16:58
of
16:58
reading,
16:59
I don't know
16:59
if any of
16:59
you guys
17:00
listening,
17:00
have ever
17:00
had that
17:01
feeling
17:01
where you
17:02
just
17:02
worry
17:02
that
17:02
like,
17:02
oh, it's
17:03
going
17:03
to be
17:03
too much
17:03
strain
17:04
on my eyes.
17:04
Or
17:04
maybe it
17:05
literally
17:05
is right.
17:06
It's
17:06
making
17:06
you feel
17:06
super
17:07
tired.
17:07
And
17:08
I know
17:08
that
17:08
I feel
17:09
like
17:09
really
17:09
tired
17:09
even now
17:10
when I
17:10
drive
17:11
for a
17:11
really
17:11
long
17:12
time.
17:12
And, it
17:13
took me
17:13
almost a
17:14
little
17:14
bit
17:14
of like
17:14
some
17:14
experimenting
17:15
to get
17:16
back into
17:16
the idea
17:17
that
17:17
I could
17:17
actually
17:18
read and
17:19
enjoy
17:19
a book,
17:19
and
17:20
it wasn't
17:20
too much
17:21
too
17:21
taxing
17:22
for my eye.
17:22
because I
17:23
only had
17:23
one
17:23
good eye
17:24
that
17:24
could,
17:24
do
17:24
things.
17:25
I don't
17:25
know.
17:25
Did you
17:26
experience
17:26
that
17:26
at all,
17:26
or did
17:27
you feel
17:27
like
17:27
you were
17:27
okay?
17:29
No,
17:29
I did,
17:29
I
17:29
definitely
17:30
experienced
17:30
that.
17:30
And I
17:31
think,
17:31
especially
17:32
as we're
17:32
sort of
17:32
adjusting
17:33
and
17:33
learning
17:34
what,
17:34
what
17:35
we're
17:35
capable
17:35
of still
17:36
and where
17:37
we
17:37
might
17:37
need
17:37
to have
17:37
more
17:38
accommodations
17:39
or
17:39
supports
17:39
to help
17:40
us.
17:40
It can be
17:41
really
17:41
scary
17:41
time
17:42
period
17:42
to feel like,
17:43
oh my gosh,
17:43
I don't
17:43
even know
17:44
if I can
17:44
engage
17:45
with
17:45
books
17:45
in
17:45
the way
17:45
that
17:46
I used
17:46
to before
17:46
my
17:47
diagnosis.
17:47
but I
17:48
found
17:48
there's
17:48
a
17:48
couple tools
17:49
that
17:49
really did
17:50
help me.
17:51
first
17:51
was just
17:52
having a
17:52
book
17:53
light
17:53
a
17:53
physical
17:54
book
17:54
light
17:54
that you
17:54
clip on
17:55
to
17:55
your book
17:55
that
17:56
illuminates
17:56
the page
17:57
directly
17:57
in
17:58
front of it.
17:59
my husband
17:59
bought
17:59
one of
18:00
those
18:00
for me,
18:00
as well
18:01
as they
18:01
have
18:01
versions
18:02
that,
18:02
like,
18:02
go around
18:03
your
18:03
neck,
18:03
you,
18:03
really
18:04
look,
18:04
very
18:05
super
18:05
cool
18:05
with
18:06
these,
18:06
you know,
18:06
book
18:06
lights
18:07
around
18:07
your neck,
18:07
but
18:08
they help
18:08
illuminate
18:09
the page
18:09
and help,
18:10
they have
18:10
warmer
18:10
settings
18:11
and
18:11
cooler
18:11
settings
18:12
based
18:12
on what
18:13
your eyes
18:13
prefer.
18:14
That was
18:14
really
18:15
helpful
18:15
for me
18:15
at first.
18:16
Then
18:17
I got a Kindle,
18:19
and I
18:19
have to
18:19
say that
18:20
was the
18:20
best
18:20
investment
18:21
for my
18:21
reading.
18:22
I should have done it
18:22
so much
18:23
sooner.
18:24
But
18:24
being
18:24
able to
18:24
like,
18:25
increase
18:25
the font
18:25
size of
18:27
the words
18:27
on the
18:28
Kindle
18:28
has
18:29
made it
18:29
so much
18:29
less
18:30
taxing
18:30
for my
18:31
left eye
18:32
to
18:32
to read.
18:32
there's
18:33
definitely
18:33
tools
18:33
and
18:33
supports,
18:34
you
18:34
know, out
18:35
there.
18:35
Just
18:35
takes a
18:35
little
18:36
experimenting.
18:37
Well,
18:37
and we
18:37
can't
18:37
forget
18:38
audiobooks
18:38
audiobooks
18:39
count
18:39
guys.
18:40
They
18:40
totally count.
18:41
And
18:41
I know
18:42
there's
18:42
kind of
18:42
this
18:42
stigma
18:43
in the
18:43
reading
18:43
world.
18:44
Like
18:44
if you,
18:44
you know,
18:45
are doing
18:45
reading
18:46
book
18:46
club,
18:46
things
18:46
like
18:46
that.
18:47
Sometimes
18:47
it's
18:47
like,
18:48
oh, well,
18:48
if you're
18:48
just
18:48
listening,
18:49
you're
18:49
not
18:49
really
18:49
reading,
18:50
your brain
18:50
is still
18:51
absorbing
18:51
the information.
18:52
It's
18:52
just a
18:52
different
18:52
way
18:53
and it's
18:54
still
18:54
totally
18:54
counts
18:56
Audiobooks
18:56
totally
18:57
count.
18:57
Also,
18:57
so funny
18:58
today
18:58
that
18:58
you and
18:59
I were
18:59
both like,
18:59
we couldn't
19:00
open
19:00
our eyes
19:01
and we
19:01
listened
19:02
to the
19:02
audiobook
19:03
like.
19:03
We found
19:03
a way
19:05
I couldn't
19:05
even
19:05
watch a
19:05
TV show.
19:06
My doctor
19:07
was like,
19:07
oh, just
19:07
watch
19:07
a TV
19:08
show.
19:08
It'll be
19:08
fine.
19:08
I'm like,
19:09
literally
19:10
cannot
19:10
open
19:10
this.
19:10
eye
19:11
it will
19:11
not open.
19:12
I cannot
19:13
even try
19:13
to open it
19:14
because
19:14
it was
19:14
so
19:15
painful
19:15
and
19:15
the muscles
19:16
would
19:16
try to
19:16
work
19:16
together
19:17
and
19:17
all of that.
19:18
even
19:18
though
19:19
we listen
19:19
to audiobooks
19:20
even
19:20
though we
19:21
read on
19:21
Kindles,
19:22
we still
19:23
gather
19:23
book
19:24
trophies.
19:25
They're
19:25
the best.
19:27
They're
19:27
the
19:27
beautiful
19:28
little
19:28
book
19:28
on yourself.
19:30
Yeah,
19:30
I love my
19:31
book
19:31
trophies.
19:31
I keep
19:32
getting
19:32
more
19:32
of them,
19:32
and I'm
19:32
sure I'm
19:33
driving
19:33
my husband
19:34
a little
19:34
bit
19:34
crazy.
19:35
but
19:35
I love my
19:36
book
19:36
trophies
19:37
and I
19:37
love,
19:37
looking
19:38
at my
19:38
books.
19:38
I also
19:39
love
19:39
being
19:39
able to,
19:40
share
19:40
that
19:40
my kids
19:41
or share
19:42
the books
19:42
that I'm
19:42
enjoying
19:43
with my
19:43
kids.
19:43
Right.
19:44
and I
19:44
mean,
19:44
I've been
19:45
getting books
19:45
since
19:46
I was little
19:46
that was
19:47
my
19:47
birthday
19:47
present
19:48
from
19:48
about
19:48
the time
19:48
I was
19:48
10 or 11
19:50
on was
19:50
a Barnes
19:51
and Noble
19:51
gift card
19:51
so
19:52
I could
19:52
get new
19:52
books
19:53
from
19:53
the bookstore,
19:54
and
19:54
that was
19:54
my
19:54
favorite
19:55
thing.
19:55
It's
19:55
a great
19:55
point,
19:56
though,
19:56
because
19:56
I love,
19:56
that my
19:57
daughter
19:57
can watch
19:58
me read
19:58
physical
19:58
books
19:59
because
20:00
even
20:00
though
20:00
she
20:00
doesn't
20:00
know how
20:01
to read
20:01
yet,
20:01
you know,
20:01
she has
20:02
her books
20:02
that she
20:03
flips
20:03
through
20:03
and it's
20:04
still
20:04
an activity
20:04
that
20:04
we can
20:05
do
20:05
together
20:05
where
20:06
I can
20:06
look
20:06
through
20:06
my
20:07
physical
20:07
books
20:07
while
20:07
she's
20:08
looking
20:08
at her
20:08
books.
20:09
And then
20:09
I also
20:10
just
20:10
think
20:10
about how
20:10
she sees
20:11
the books
20:11
on my
20:12
shelf.
20:12
And,
20:13
you know,
20:13
the
20:13
example
20:14
that I'm
20:14
setting
20:14
for her
20:15
about
20:15
reading
20:15
as a
20:15
healthy
20:16
skill
20:17
and hobby
20:17
and
20:17
strategy
20:18
for her
20:18
and her
20:18
own
20:19
coping.
20:19
Yeah,
20:20
I love it.
20:21
So let's
20:21
just give
20:21
a few
20:22
examples
20:22
of
20:22
some of
20:23
the books
20:23
that
20:23
you have
20:23
read.
20:24
let's
20:24
just run
20:24
through
20:24
maybe
20:25
three
20:25
titles
20:26
each that
20:26
we both
20:27
have
20:27
read of
20:27
more
20:27
recently
20:28
or just
20:28
in the past.
20:29
It could be
20:29
a series
20:30
even,
20:30
because
20:30
I know
20:30
some
20:30
of the
20:31
some of
20:31
the books
20:31
are like
20:32
lots of
20:32
books.
20:33
Yes.
20:34
Okay,
20:34
here's
20:35
some like
20:35
top
20:36
favorites.
20:36
I already
20:37
mentioned
20:37
Kingdom
20:38
of Ash
20:38
earlier
20:39
in this
20:39
conversation,
20:40
but
20:40
the entire
20:41
Throne of
20:41
Glass
20:42
series,
20:42
I think,
20:42
was so
20:43
critical
20:43
for me
20:44
during
20:44
this time
20:46
that I
20:46
really
20:46
identified
20:47
with
20:47
the main
20:47
character's
20:48
journey.
20:49
I really felt
20:49
like so
20:50
much of
20:50
what
20:50
she went
20:51
through
20:51
was
20:51
reflective
20:52
of what
20:52
I was
20:53
going
20:53
through.
20:53
I was able
20:53
to
20:53
channel
20:54
her
20:54
strength,
20:55
her, like
20:55
inner
20:56
resilience.
20:57
and so
20:57
I would
20:57
recommend
20:58
Throne
20:58
of Glass,
20:59
I think,
20:59
to
20:59
anybody
20:59
who's
21:00
going
21:00
through
21:00
what
21:01
we're
21:01
going
21:01
through,
21:01
I.
21:02
Also
21:02
recommend
21:03
highly
21:03
recommend.
21:06
another
21:07
that
21:07
I read
21:08
more
21:08
recently,
21:09
which
21:09
is
21:09
still in
21:10
the
21:10
fantasy
21:10
realm.
21:11
It's
21:11
called
21:12
When
21:12
the Moon
21:12
Hatched.
21:13
and.
21:15
Oh, I
21:15
just
21:16
finished
21:16
this one.
21:18
I am,
21:18
like,
21:18
dying to
21:18
talk
21:19
about
21:19
this with
21:19
you danet
21:20
I love this
21:21
book so
21:21
much.
21:22
this
21:23
really
21:23
hit on
21:23
so many
21:24
important
21:24
themes
21:25
for me,
21:25
especially
21:25
about
21:26
like
21:26
love,
21:27
loss,
21:28
death,
21:28
grief,
21:29
memory.
21:30
just so many things
21:31
that I
21:32
think
21:32
are so
21:32
important
21:33
for me.
21:33
And the
21:33
main
21:33
character's
21:34
journey
21:34
here
21:35
again,
21:35
is one
21:36
that I
21:36
really
21:36
connected
21:37
with,
21:37
especially
21:38
in the
21:38
later
21:38
parts
21:38
of the
21:39
story.
21:40
Yeah.
21:40
No, I
21:41
love it.
21:42
Okay.
21:43
Do you
21:43
have
21:43
one more
21:43
that
21:43
you want
21:44
to share?
21:45
I have
21:46
one more
21:46
that
21:46
I want
21:47
to share.
21:47
I would be
21:48
remiss
21:48
if I
21:49
did not
21:49
talk
21:49
about,
21:50
fate
21:50
inked
21:51
in blood,
21:51
which
21:52
was. A.
21:53
Hit
21:53
for me.
21:54
Oh, it's
21:54
so good.
21:55
I'm not
21:55
usually,
21:56
a Viking
21:56
fantasy
21:57
person,
21:57
so
21:58
I really
21:58
didn't
21:58
have
21:58
this high
21:59
on my list,
21:59
but
21:59
I actually
22:00
loved it.
22:00
the main
22:01
character,
22:01
Freya, is
22:02
just
22:02
someone
22:02
who I
22:03
really felt
22:03
like was
22:04
so strong.
22:05
And
22:06
she is,
22:07
a leader,
22:07
especially
22:08
at a time
22:08
when
22:09
or like
22:09
in
22:09
a setting
22:10
where
22:10
women are
22:10
not
22:11
leaders.
22:11
She's really
22:12
somebody
22:12
who,
22:13
did not
22:13
let what
22:14
anybody
22:14
said
22:15
stop her.
22:16
she's
22:16
a fighter.
22:16
She's
22:17
courageous,
22:17
she's
22:18
strong.
22:18
She's,
22:18
got
22:19
the power
22:19
of the
22:20
gods
22:20
She's
22:20
incredible.
22:21
and so
22:22
I really
22:22
this
22:22
was such
22:23
a
22:23
wonderful,
22:23
surprise
22:24
for me.
22:25
I have
22:26
loved
22:26
some
22:27
of the
22:27
same
22:27
books
22:27
that you
22:27
have
22:28
read.
22:28
I've read
22:28
when
22:28
the moon
22:29
hatched.
22:29
I've
22:29
read the
22:30
whole
22:30
third of
22:30
glass
22:30
series,
22:31
which was
22:32
so incredible.
22:33
I'm
22:33
actually
22:33
rereading it
22:34
now
22:34
because
22:34
I've loved it
22:35
so much.
22:36
all of
22:36
Sarah j
22:37
moss
22:37
books
22:37
have been
22:38
so good
22:38
for me.
22:39
but
22:39
before
22:39
all of that,
22:40
like
22:40
kind of
22:40
my
22:41
childhood
22:41
core
22:42
memories
22:42
of,
22:42
all the things
22:43
that
22:43
I have
22:43
almost,
22:44
used to
22:44
process
22:45
My cancer
22:45
diagnosis
22:46
was Harry
22:47
Potter.
22:47
And so
22:48
I have,
22:49
I know
22:49
to
22:49
each their own.
22:50
Some people
22:50
won't
22:51
read it,
22:51
they don't
22:51
like it,
22:52
whatever.
22:52
But
22:53
I have
22:53
really
22:53
found
22:54
a lot
22:54
of
22:54
meaning
22:55
in Harry
22:55
Potter
22:55
and in
22:56
some
22:56
of the
22:56
quotes
22:56
from
22:57
Harry
22:57
Potter,
22:57
like
22:58
things
22:58
like
22:58
happiness
22:59
can
22:59
only be
22:59
found
23:00
when
23:00
you turn
23:00
on the
23:00
light and
23:01
to me
23:01
that's
23:02
like
23:02
this,
23:02
this
23:03
choice.
23:03
Right?
23:03
That
23:03
I have
23:04
a choice
23:04
when I'm
23:04
confronted
23:05
with
23:05
something
23:05
that's
23:05
happening
23:06
to me,
23:07
I get to choose
23:08
when to
23:08
get back
23:09
up and
23:09
when to
23:10
choose
23:10
to keep
23:10
living
23:11
life
23:11
despite
23:12
maybe
23:12
the hard,
23:12
horrible
23:13
things
23:13
that are
23:14
happening
23:14
to me,
23:15
like a
23:15
recurrent
23:16
cancer
23:16
diagnosis
23:17
or
23:17
whatever.
23:18
and
23:18
I think
23:18
maybe the
23:19
one thing
23:19
that has
23:20
helped me
23:20
the most
23:20
in
23:20
my cancer
23:21
diagnosis
23:21
is
23:22
actually
23:22
the quote
23:22
from
23:22
Dumbledore,
23:23
and
23:23
it's
23:24
the fear
23:24
of a name
23:25
only
23:25
increases
23:26
fear of a
23:26
thing
23:26
itself.
23:27
And so if
23:27
you guys
23:28
found me
23:28
on social
23:29
media,
23:29
right,
23:29
if you
23:30
if you
23:30
follow
23:30
this
23:30
podcast
23:31
or
23:31
you follow
23:31
our
23:31
YouTube
23:32
channel
23:32
and it's
23:32
because
23:33
you found
23:33
danet
23:34
on social
23:34
media,
23:35
it's
23:35
probably
23:36
because I
23:36
was
23:36
posting
23:37
at the
23:37
beginning
23:37
of my
23:37
cancer
23:38
journey
23:38
all about
23:39
the
23:39
meaning
23:40
that
23:40
I was
23:40
making
23:41
using
23:41
Harry
23:41
Potter
23:41
stories
23:42
and Harry
23:42
Potter
23:43
quotes
23:43
and
23:44
things
23:44
like the
23:44
Dementors
23:45
and
23:45
Horcruxes.
23:46
having
23:46
my plaque
23:47
was like
23:47
having
23:48
a Horcrux.
23:48
And so if
23:49
you know
23:49
what a
23:49
Horcrux
23:50
is taking
23:51
the
23:51
Horcrux
23:51
off,
23:52
you feel
23:52
this
23:52
instant
23:53
like
23:53
instantaneous
23:54
weight
23:55
lifted.
23:55
And
23:55
for me,
23:56
having
23:56
the
23:56
plaque
23:56
removed,
23:57
it
23:57
was this
23:57
huge
23:58
weight
23:58
that was lifted.
23:59
I
23:59
no longer
23:59
had pain
24:00
and I was
24:01
no longer
24:01
tired,
24:02
like
24:02
I had so
24:02
many
24:03
better
24:03
physical
24:03
symptoms
24:04
after it
24:04
was
24:04
removed.
24:05
that's
24:05
just one
24:05
of
24:06
the ways
24:06
that I've
24:06
made
24:06
meaning.
24:07
And
24:07
one of
24:07
the
24:07
biggest
24:08
things
24:08
that I
24:08
have done
24:09
throughout
24:09
my cancer
24:10
diagnosis
24:10
that has helped
24:11
me cope
24:11
has been
24:11
to talk
24:12
about it,
24:12
talk
24:13
about it
24:13
with my
24:13
therapist,
24:14
talk
24:14
about it
24:14
with my
24:14
family,
24:15
talk
24:15
about it
24:16
with my
24:16
kids.
24:16
I don't
24:17
hide
24:17
behind
24:18
my cancer
24:18
diagnosis
24:19
or hide
24:19
from it.
24:20
I
24:20
confront
24:20
it.
24:21
and
24:21
I think
24:21
that
24:21
for me
24:22
at least,
24:22
that has
24:22
helped it
24:23
to not
24:23
grow out
24:24
of
24:24
control
24:25
into
24:25
this kind
24:25
of big,
24:25
scary
24:26
fear and
24:26
anxiety
24:27
that
24:27
almost is
24:28
a monster
24:28
under
24:29
my
24:29
bed, so
24:29
to speak.
24:32
Yeah,
24:32
totally.
24:32
And
24:33
that's
24:33
true from
24:33
the
24:33
research
24:34
too.
24:34
we know
24:34
how
24:35
important
24:35
it is
24:35
to be
24:35
able to
24:36
directly
24:37
talk
24:37
about
24:37
and face
24:38
the difficult
24:38
things
24:39
that
24:39
we're
24:39
going
24:39
through.
24:40
And it's
24:40
amazing
24:40
to see,
24:41
you know,
24:41
I think
24:42
Harry
24:42
Potter is
24:42
such a
24:43
source
24:43
of
24:43
strength
24:43
for so
24:44
many
24:44
people,
24:44
especially
24:45
again
24:45
in our
24:45
millennial
24:46
age,
24:47
for us
24:47
to think
24:47
back
24:47
about,
24:48
you know,
24:48
all the
24:48
metaphors
24:49
that are
24:50
in those
24:50
books
24:50
and
24:51
the ways
24:51
that
24:51
we can
24:51
apply
24:52
them to
24:52
our own
24:52
lives.
24:53
and
24:53
the idea
24:53
that,
24:54
not
24:54
calling
24:54
something
24:55
by its
24:55
name
24:55
only
24:56
increases
24:56
the fear of it,
24:57
I
24:57
think, is
24:57
really
24:58
true in
24:58
so many
24:59
different
24:59
ways.
25:00
It's
25:00
just it's
25:01
helping
25:01
us get to
25:01
that
25:02
place
25:02
of
25:02
acceptance.
25:03
Right?
25:03
Because
25:04
getting our
25:04
head
25:04
in the sand,
25:05
so to
25:05
speak,
25:05
doesn't
25:06
actually
25:06
make it
25:06
go away.
25:08
It just
25:09
allows it
25:09
to kind
25:10
of fester
25:10
or to be
25:11
something
25:11
that
25:11
we're no
25:12
longer
25:12
developing
25:12
tools to
25:13
cope with
25:14
it,
25:14
right,
25:14
to cope
25:15
with our
25:15
diagnosis.
25:15
And it's
25:16
so
25:16
important
25:16
that we
25:17
learn
25:17
to cope
25:18
so that
25:18
we can thrive,
25:19
and so
25:19
that we
25:19
can
25:20
survive.
25:20
Well.
25:21
and so
25:21
the cancer
25:21
really
25:22
doesn't
25:22
get to
25:22
take up
25:22
more space
25:23
than it
25:23
deserves,
25:24
I mean,
25:24
I feel that,
25:25
but
25:25
that's so
25:25
important
25:26
to me.
25:27
Absolutely.
25:28
It's
25:28
it's,
25:28
you know,
25:29
if
25:29
we can't
25:29
even talk
25:30
about
25:30
what
25:30
it is,
25:30
we're
25:31
going
25:31
to spend
25:31
a whole
25:31
lot of
25:32
time,
25:32
you know,
25:32
coping
25:33
with it.
25:33
And
25:33
I think
25:34
like
25:34
being
25:34
able to
25:35
say yes,
25:36
I have
25:36
cancer
25:37
and I am
25:38
so many
25:39
other
25:39
things
25:39
as well.
25:40
It's
25:40
something
25:41
that,
25:41
starts
25:42
by
25:42
facing
25:43
it,
25:43
naming it
25:43
head on,
25:44
and then
25:44
being
25:45
able to
25:45
sort of
25:46
move in
25:46
to
25:46
all the
25:46
other
25:47
spaces of
25:47
our lives
25:48
where
25:48
we get
25:49
to be
25:49
fulfilled
25:50
and find
25:50
meaning
25:51
and joy
25:51
and love
25:52
and
25:52
connection,
25:53
you know,
25:53
in
25:53
so many
25:54
different
25:54
ways
25:54
that are
25:55
separate
25:55
from
25:56
cancer.
25:57
just kind
25:57
of
25:58
general
25:58
myth
25:58
busting
25:59
here.
25:59
I think
26:00
a lot of
26:00
us
26:00
associate
26:01
the idea
26:02
of
26:02
disassociation
26:03
or denial
26:04
or
26:05
escapism,
26:06
healthy
26:06
denial.
26:06
any
26:07
of those
26:07
kinds of
26:07
things.
26:08
We see
26:08
it
26:08
almost in
26:09
a
26:09
negative
26:09
light.
26:09
It's it's
26:10
a word
26:10
denial,
26:11
I know
26:11
for sure,
26:11
is a word
26:12
that we
26:12
have kind
26:13
of
26:13
negatively
26:14
framed in
26:15
our
26:15
brains.
26:16
maybe
26:16
just as
26:17
our part
26:17
of our culture.
26:18
So
26:18
let's
26:18
just kind
26:19
of
26:19
overall
26:20
sum up
26:20
myth bust
26:21
the idea
26:21
that,
26:22
like,
26:22
denial is
26:22
not bad.
26:24
It
26:24
actually
26:24
can be
26:24
really
26:25
good.
26:25
we're
26:26
just
26:26
kind of
26:26
to sum up
26:27
your
26:27
thoughts
26:27
on that.
26:28
I think,
26:29
when
26:29
we're
26:29
going
26:29
through
26:30
these
26:30
acute
26:30
traumas,
26:31
there are
26:31
a few
26:32
ways of
26:32
processing.
26:33
There are
26:34
some more
26:34
active
26:34
ways of
26:35
processing.
26:36
And
26:36
that's
26:36
talking
26:36
about it
26:37
in
26:37
therapy,
26:38
getting
26:38
support,
26:39
getting
26:39
all
26:40
of the
26:40
medical
26:40
treatment,
26:41
doing
26:41
all of
26:41
the
26:41
active
26:42
things.
26:43
We need
26:43
to
26:43
balance
26:44
that with
26:44
some of
26:45
those
26:45
more
26:45
passive
26:46
ways
26:46
of coping,
26:47
which are
26:48
those
26:48
distraction,
26:49
getting
26:50
immersed
26:50
in
26:50
something
26:51
else.
26:51
There's
26:52
this idea
26:52
called
26:53
flow,
26:53
which is,
26:54
a concept
26:54
from the
26:55
positive
26:55
psychology
26:56
literature
26:57
that when
26:57
we are
26:58
fully
26:58
absorbed
26:59
in an
26:59
activity
27:00
that we
27:00
really
27:00
enjoy,
27:01
that
27:01
really
27:02
brings
27:02
well-being
27:03
and
27:03
positive
27:03
emotions
27:04
for
27:04
people.
27:05
And
27:05
so the
27:05
idea of
27:05
flow,
27:06
this
27:06
state
27:07
of flow,
27:08
feeling
27:08
as though
27:09
you're
27:09
doing
27:09
something
27:10
that you
27:10
enjoy,
27:10
time is
27:11
passing.
27:12
You're
27:12
disconnected
27:12
from
27:13
what's
27:13
happening.
27:13
You're
27:14
totally
27:14
immersed
27:15
in
27:15
reading
27:15
or
27:15
painting,
27:16
listening
27:16
to music,
27:17
whatever
27:18
it may be
27:19
that's
27:19
really
27:19
positive
27:20
and
27:20
healthy
27:20
for our
27:21
mental
27:21
health.
27:22
And so
27:23
if we can
27:23
balance
27:23
those two
27:24
different
27:24
kinds of
27:24
processing,
27:25
the,
27:26
you know,
27:26
the
27:26
active
27:27
talking
27:27
about
27:27
cancer,
27:28
naming it
27:28
head on
27:29
process
27:30
with the
27:31
more
27:31
passive
27:32
reading,
27:32
getting
27:33
into
27:33
flow,
27:33
getting
27:34
immersed,
27:35
you know,
27:35
working
27:35
on our
27:36
distressed
27:36
tolerance
27:37
that's
27:37
really,
27:38
going
27:38
to be
27:38
an
27:38
optimal
27:38
way to
27:39
cope
27:40
with what
27:40
we're
27:40
going
27:40
through.
27:41
Oh,
27:42
I love that.
27:42
And
27:42
I think
27:43
it's so
27:43
important.
27:43
Like you
27:43
said,
27:44
it's a
27:44
balance.
27:44
Right?
27:45
It's not
27:45
that
27:45
you're
27:45
only
27:46
escaping
27:46
your
27:46
cancer
27:47
diagnosis
27:47
by
27:48
distraction
27:49
or
27:49
whatever
27:49
it is.
27:49
It's
27:50
a balance
27:50
that's
27:51
so important.
27:52
so
27:52
you mentioned
27:53
at one
27:53
point
27:53
you
27:53
mentioned
27:54
kind of
27:54
this,
27:54
this idea
27:55
that,
27:55
okay,
27:55
we're
27:55
going
27:56
through
27:56
this
27:56
diagnosis.
27:57
It's life
27:57
altering
27:58
news.
27:58
It can be
27:58
an injury
27:59
or a
27:59
trauma to
28:00
the brain,
28:01
and that
28:01
there's
28:02
kind of
28:02
initially
28:03
it can
28:03
feel like
28:04
there's
28:04
really
28:04
not any
28:05
time.
28:05
And I'm
28:05
sure
28:05
you guys
28:06
listening
28:06
like,
28:06
you guys,
28:07
if you've
28:08
gone
28:08
through
28:08
an ocular
28:08
melanoma
28:09
diagnosis,
28:10
you know
28:11
that when
28:11
you first
28:12
get
28:12
diagnosed
28:12
about
28:13
the first
28:14
3 to 6
28:14
months
28:15
are just
28:15
kind of
28:16
chaos.
28:17
You're
28:17
getting
28:17
scans,
28:18
you have
28:18
lots of
28:19
doctor's
28:19
appointments,
28:19
You are
28:20
getting
28:20
follow
28:21
ups.
28:21
You're
28:21
having
28:21
your
28:22
procedures
28:22
done.
28:22
You're
28:23
then
28:23
getting
28:23
more
28:23
scans.
28:24
Maybe
28:24
you're
28:24
getting
28:24
bloodwork
28:25
like
28:25
there's
28:25
just
28:26
so much
28:26
going on,
28:27
so many
28:27
balls
28:28
rolling,
28:28
and
28:29
it can
28:29
kind of
28:29
feel
28:29
like
28:30
you just
28:30
don't
28:30
get a break.
28:31
so one of
28:32
the things
28:32
that we
28:32
talked
28:32
about at
28:33
the end,
28:34
I think
28:34
we wanted
28:34
to cover
28:35
at
28:35
the end
28:35
was this
28:35
idea of
28:36
getting
28:36
to that
28:36
place
28:36
where
28:36
things
28:37
kind of
28:37
settle,
28:38
and then
28:39
choosing
28:39
some
28:39
things
28:40
that are
28:40
a little
28:40
more
28:40
intentional,
28:41
kind of
28:41
alongside
28:42
things
28:43
like
28:43
reading
28:43
or
28:44
distracting
28:44
yourself.
28:44
Well,
28:46
I think
28:47
that's
28:47
really
28:47
where
28:47
things
28:48
like,
28:48
journaling
28:49
therapy
28:50
can come
28:50
into place
28:51
where
28:51
you're
28:51
sort of
28:51
processing
28:52
what's
28:52
happening.
28:53
I am a psychologist
28:54
and I'm
28:54
someone
28:54
who's
28:54
been
28:54
in therapy
28:55
for many
28:56
years
28:56
for,
28:56
anxiety
28:57
and
28:57
various
28:57
different
28:58
things.
28:58
So I was
28:59
really
28:59
lucky
28:59
to
28:59
already
29:00
have a
29:00
therapist
29:00
when I was
29:01
diagnosed.
29:02
But
29:02
I really feel
29:03
that
29:03
that was
29:03
such an
29:03
important
29:04
tool
29:04
for me,
29:05
both
29:05
during
29:06
that
29:06
chaotic
29:07
first 3
29:07
to 6
29:08
month
29:08
period,
29:08
just so I
29:09
had
29:09
a space
29:09
to talk
29:10
about
29:11
things
29:11
that were happening,
29:12
but now
29:13
so that
29:13
I can
29:13
talk
29:14
about
29:14
the way
29:14
that it's
29:15
affected
29:15
me and
29:16
how
29:16
I want to
29:17
move
29:17
forward.
29:18
and
29:18
how I,
29:19
you know,
29:19
how much
29:20
I don't
29:20
want it
29:20
to
29:20
affect me
29:21
moving
29:21
forward
29:22
and
29:22
the ways
29:22
in which
29:22
I want
29:23
to, not
29:23
be
29:23
somebody
29:24
who
29:24
is affected
29:24
by their
29:25
diagnosis.
29:26
to the
29:26
extent
29:26
that
29:27
that's
29:27
possible.
29:28
yeah.
29:28
For sure.
29:28
Yeah.
29:29
And I
29:29
just
29:29
think
29:29
after
29:30
that
29:30
certain
29:30
time
29:30
point
29:31
where
29:31
many of
29:32
the more
29:33
urgent,
29:34
immediate,
29:35
we need to
29:35
have this
29:36
treatment
29:36
today
29:36
to save
29:37
your life
29:38
after
29:38
that
29:38
wave is
29:39
kind
29:39
of over
29:40
and
29:40
you're
29:40
able to,
29:41
almost
29:41
adjust a
29:42
little
29:42
bit
29:42
to this
29:42
new
29:43
normal.
29:44
That's
29:44
really
29:44
when
29:44
more of
29:45
that
29:45
active
29:46
processing
29:46
can
29:47
really
29:47
take
29:47
the lead.
29:48
So
29:49
what are
29:49
some of
29:49
the
29:49
things
29:49
that
29:50
you have
29:50
done
29:50
intentionally?
29:51
I know
29:51
you said
29:51
you just
29:52
had scans
29:52
and
29:53
I do something
29:53
like
29:54
this too.
29:54
So I'm
29:54
going to
29:54
let you
29:55
share
29:55
what it is.
29:56
but
29:56
do you plan
29:57
anything
29:57
after
29:58
scans?
29:58
Before
29:59
scans?
29:59
That kind
29:59
of helps.
30:00
You have
30:01
something
30:01
to either
30:02
look
30:02
forward
30:02
to or
30:02
to
30:03
distract
30:03
yourself
30:03
from.
30:05
how do you
30:05
how
30:05
do you tend
30:05
to do
30:06
things
30:06
with your
30:07
scan.
30:07
me and
30:07
my family,
30:08
we're
30:08
like
30:08
getting
30:09
into our
30:09
routine
30:09
of this
30:10
now that
30:10
we have
30:11
a year
30:11
of this
30:11
under
30:11
our belts.
30:12
I usually
30:13
have my
30:13
scans on
30:13
a
30:14
Thursday.
30:14
My husband
30:15
takes off
30:15
of work
30:16
and comes
30:16
with me.
30:17
We have
30:17
the scans.
30:18
We go
30:18
have
30:18
a meal
30:19
afterwards,
30:20
and
30:20
then we
30:20
usually
30:21
go away
30:21
for the
30:21
weekend.
30:22
And we're
30:22
trying
30:22
to pick
30:23
different
30:23
places
30:24
to go
30:24
each time
30:25
so that,
30:25
you know,
30:26
we get to
30:26
explore
30:26
and go
30:27
somewhere
30:27
new
30:27
and our
30:28
toddler
30:28
comes
30:28
with us.
30:29
And that
30:29
always
30:29
makes
30:30
everything
30:30
that
30:30
much
30:30
more of
30:31
an adventure.
30:32
and so
30:32
we've
30:32
traveled
30:33
to,
30:33
you know,
30:33
just a
30:33
few
30:33
different
30:34
weekend
30:34
trips.
30:35
I usually
30:35
also try
30:36
to plan
30:37
a massage
30:37
or just
30:38
some time
30:38
for
30:38
myself
30:39
during
30:39
that
30:39
weekend
30:40
trip,
30:40
so that
30:41
I can,
30:41
do
30:41
something
30:42
that
30:42
feels
30:42
good for
30:43
my body.
30:43
and then,
30:44
of
30:44
course,
30:44
I'm a
30:45
big
30:45
self-care
30:46
girl,
30:46
and
30:47
having,
30:47
bubble
30:48
baths
30:48
and,
30:49
really
30:49
setting
30:50
myself up
30:50
with a
30:51
sensory
30:51
experience
30:52
that
30:52
helps me,
30:53
just feel
30:54
really
30:54
good in
30:54
my skin
30:55
is really
30:56
important
30:56
to me.
30:56
So
30:57
I always
30:57
try to
30:57
take a
30:57
really
30:58
luxurious
30:58
bubble
30:58
bath with
30:59
candles,
31:00
music,
31:00
just
31:01
sort of
31:01
get
31:01
myself
31:02
into
31:02
a very
31:02
relaxed
31:03
state.
31:04
especially
31:04
because
31:05
that
31:05
waiting
31:05
period
31:06
before
31:06
my
31:06
oncology
31:07
follow
31:07
up,
31:08
you know,
31:08
is a
31:09
really
31:09
difficult
31:10
time
31:10
for me.
31:10
And that
31:11
physical
31:11
sensation
31:12
of being
31:12
in a hot
31:13
bath
31:13
with,
31:13
good
31:14
smelling
31:14
candles
31:14
and
31:15
drinking
31:15
a hot tea
31:16
really
31:16
helps me
31:16
just,
31:17
you know,
31:17
stay
31:18
present
31:18
in the moment
31:19
with what
31:19
I can
31:19
worry
31:20
about.
31:20
That's in
31:20
front of me
31:21
right
31:21
now.
31:22
Not
31:22
for sure
31:22
that my
31:23
scan
31:23
results.
31:24
you said
31:25
something
31:25
about
31:25
worrying
31:26
before
31:26
there was
31:26
like this
31:27
quote
31:27
that I
31:27
loved.
31:28
And I
31:28
would love
31:29
if you
31:29
if you
31:30
have it
31:30
in
31:30
front of you.
31:30
Do
31:30
you want to
31:31
share
31:31
that?
31:31
Yeah.
31:32
I think
31:32
this is
31:32
the quote
31:33
from
31:33
Seneca,
31:34
who
31:34
I think
31:34
is an
31:34
ancient
31:35
philosopher,
31:35
Who said,
31:36
he who
31:36
worries
31:37
suffers
31:37
twice.
31:39
And I
31:39
think
31:39
that's
31:40
just
31:40
something
31:40
that I've
31:40
carried
31:41
with me.
31:41
there's a
31:42
self-help
31:43
writer
31:43
now, Ryan
31:43
Holladay,
31:44
who talks
31:44
a lot
31:45
about,
31:45
Seneca
31:45
quotes
31:46
and I
31:46
think,
31:46
he's
31:47
kind of
31:47
brought it
31:47
back
31:47
a little
31:48
into
31:48
the more
31:48
popular
31:49
dialog.
31:49
And that
31:49
quote
31:50
is always
31:50
stuck
31:50
with me.
31:50
Like he
31:51
Who
31:51
Worries
31:52
suffers
31:52
twice.
31:53
And it's
31:53
so true,
31:54
especially
31:54
with our
31:55
diagnosis.
31:56
we try
31:56
to do
31:57
all of
31:57
the
31:57
things
31:57
that
31:57
we can
31:58
possibly
31:58
do
31:58
to stay
31:59
as
31:59
healthy
31:59
as
31:59
possible.
32:00
But
32:00
at the end
32:00
of the day,
32:01
you know,
32:02
if we
32:02
we have
32:02
very
32:03
little
32:03
control.
32:04
And so
32:04
worrying
32:05
means
32:05
that we
32:06
suffer
32:06
twice.
32:06
We suffer
32:07
not
32:08
knowing
32:08
if
32:08
something's
32:08
going
32:09
to happen
32:09
and then
32:09
we suffer
32:10
when it
32:10
when it
32:10
does.
32:11
And it's
32:11
helped me
32:11
to tune
32:12
down
32:12
some of my
32:13
worry
32:13
to
32:14
remember
32:14
that
32:14
I have
32:15
control
32:15
about
32:15
how much
32:16
I worry,
32:17
and I
32:17
can tune
32:17
some of
32:18
that down
32:18
to
32:18
prevent
32:19
myself
32:19
from
32:19
suffering
32:20
when
32:20
I don't
32:20
need to.
32:21
Well,
32:22
and I
32:22
think,
32:22
you know,
32:22
just just
32:23
from a
32:23
psychological
32:24
perspective,
32:24
it
32:25
was it's
32:25
been
32:25
helpful
32:25
for me
32:26
to
32:26
understand
32:26
that
32:27
worrying
32:27
is one of
32:28
my
32:28
brain's
32:28
ways
32:28
of
32:28
trying to
32:29
protect
32:29
me.
32:29
It's
32:30
not
32:30
because
32:30
there's
32:30
something
32:31
wrong
32:31
with me,
32:31
because
32:31
I'm not
32:32
doing
32:32
enough
32:32
of
32:33
something,
32:33
like
32:33
I'm not
32:33
meditating
32:34
enough
32:34
or I'm
32:34
not,
32:35
I don't
32:35
know,
32:36
doing
32:36
enough of
32:36
something.
32:37
It has nothing
32:37
to do
32:38
with
32:38
any of that.
32:39
It
32:39
just is
32:39
my brain
32:40
trying to
32:40
protect
32:40
me.
32:41
And it's
32:41
trying to
32:42
come up
32:42
with a
32:42
solution
32:43
to,
32:43
kind of a
32:44
an unseen
32:45
threat,
32:45
so to
32:46
speak.
32:46
Because
32:46
when
32:47
we're
32:47
waiting
32:47
for scan
32:48
results
32:48
and
32:48
we have
32:49
the what
32:49
feels
32:49
like
32:50
almost an
32:50
ax
32:51
hanging
32:51
over our
32:51
heads,
32:52
right?
32:52
Like,
32:53
you guys,
32:53
I'm
32:53
sure
32:54
you get
32:54
this
32:54
like,
32:55
you feel
32:57
helpless
32:58
to some
32:58
degree.
32:59
you
32:59
absolutely
32:59
feel
33:00
helpless.
33:00
And
33:00
when our brains
33:01
feel
33:01
helpless,
33:02
they look
33:02
for how
33:03
they can
33:03
help us.
33:04
And
33:04
they want
33:05
to have
33:05
answers,
33:06
right?
33:06
They want
33:06
solutions.
33:07
And so
33:07
then
33:08
we're
33:08
presented
33:08
with
33:08
all of
33:09
the
33:09
worries,
33:10
the
33:10
millions
33:10
and
33:10
millions
33:11
of worries.
33:11
And
33:11
if you're
33:12
an
33:12
anxious
33:12
worrier
33:13
like
33:13
maybe me
33:13
and
33:13
megan,
33:14
then you
33:15
might
33:15
just kind
33:16
of spiral
33:16
really fast.
33:17
so
33:18
just know
33:18
that,
33:18
as you're
33:19
learning
33:19
these
33:19
skills,
33:20
as maybe
33:20
you're
33:20
applying
33:21
some of
33:21
the
33:21
things
33:21
that
33:21
megan
33:22
has
33:22
talked
33:22
about
33:22
here
33:22
today,
33:23
it
33:23
doesn't
33:23
all
33:23
happen
33:24
overnight.
33:24
You're
33:25
still
33:25
going to
33:25
experience
33:26
some of
33:26
those
33:26
stressful
33:27
feelings,
33:27
where you
33:28
experience
33:29
the worry.
33:29
I was
33:29
texting
33:30
you
33:30
this week
33:30
and
33:30
I know
33:31
you were stressed
33:31
and
33:31
you were
33:32
worried
33:32
about not
33:33
having
33:33
results
33:34
in a
33:34
timely
33:34
manner.
33:35
I'm sure
33:35
you can
33:35
attest to
33:36
the fact
33:36
that
33:36
you felt
33:37
the worry
33:37
ahead of
33:38
when
33:38
it was
33:39
actually
33:40
needed
33:40
to be
33:40
worried
33:41
about
33:41
if that made sense.
33:42
So
33:42
you know
33:43
what that
33:43
feels
33:43
like.
33:44
Oh, yeah.
33:45
Absolutely.
33:45
I mean,
33:45
this is
33:46
a work
33:46
in
33:46
progress
33:46
for sure,
33:47
and
33:47
it always
33:48
will be.
33:48
I think
33:49
one thing
33:49
that
33:49
really
33:49
helps me
33:50
is to
33:50
remember
33:51
that
33:51
worrying
33:52
is sort
33:53
of a like
33:53
false
33:54
flag
33:54
at times.
33:55
It can
33:55
feel
33:56
productive.
33:57
It can
33:57
feel like
33:58
we're
33:58
doing
33:58
something.
33:59
I have
33:59
no control,
34:00
but
34:00
at least
34:01
I can
34:01
sort of
34:01
imagine
34:02
all these
34:02
different
34:03
avenues
34:03
and think
34:04
about
34:04
all these
34:04
different
34:05
ways
34:05
that,
34:05
I might
34:06
be able
34:06
to
34:06
prepare
34:07
for
34:07
something.
34:08
And
34:08
at the end
34:08
of the day,
34:09
you know,
34:10
we can
34:10
prepare
34:11
as much
34:11
as we want
34:11
and
34:12
we will
34:12
still
34:12
never
34:12
truly
34:13
feel
34:13
prepared
34:14
for
34:14
the thing
34:14
that
34:15
we're
34:15
worried
34:15
about.
34:15
And so
34:16
sort of
34:16
remembering
34:17
that it's
34:17
sort of
34:18
an
34:18
illusion
34:18
that
34:18
worrying
34:19
feels
34:19
helpful,
34:20
that
34:21
actually
34:21
has
34:21
helped me
34:22
to say,
34:22
like,
34:23
actually
34:23
it is not
34:23
that
34:24
productive
34:24
and it is
34:25
okay
34:25
for me
34:25
to feel
34:26
like
34:26
I can put
34:27
my
34:27
worries
34:27
in a box
34:28
on the shelf
34:29
and go
34:29
do
34:29
something
34:30
that's
34:30
going
34:30
to
34:30
make me
34:30
feel good
34:31
in this
34:31
moment,
34:32
like
34:32
reading
34:33
a book,
34:33
exercising,
34:34
playing
34:35
outside
34:35
with my
34:35
daughter,
34:36
doing
34:36
anything
34:37
that makes me
34:37
feel joy
34:38
in this moment
34:38
because
34:39
that is
34:39
so valid
34:40
and
34:40
important.
34:41
one of
34:42
the things
34:42
maybe
34:42
you guys
34:43
come up
34:43
against
34:43
this
34:43
when you're
34:44
trying
34:44
to find
34:45
or do
34:45
something
34:45
you
34:46
enjoy.
34:46
Can also
34:47
be that
34:48
when
34:48
you have
34:48
so many
34:49
things
34:49
to deal
34:49
with,
34:49
You have
34:50
so many
34:50
diagnosis.
34:51
I don't
34:52
know,
34:52
maybe
34:52
you've
34:52
got
34:52
doctor's
34:53
appointments
34:53
to
34:53
follow up
34:54
with.
34:54
You've
34:54
got phone
34:55
calls
34:55
to make,
34:56
insurance
34:56
calls
34:56
to make,
34:57
like who
34:57
knows
34:58
what
34:58
you're
34:58
dealing
34:58
with,
34:58
I know
34:59
I have
34:59
a lot
35:00
on my plate
35:00
right now
35:01
with my medical
35:01
diagnosis
35:02
and
35:02
kind of
35:02
the extra
35:03
things
35:03
I have to
35:05
navigate,
35:06
for lack
35:07
of a
35:07
anything
35:07
else.
35:08
it's
35:08
just it's
35:09
kind of
35:09
an
35:09
ongoing
35:10
flow of
35:11
things
35:11
that I
35:11
always
35:11
have
35:12
to do.
35:12
And
35:13
sometimes
35:13
because
35:14
I'm a
35:14
Type-A
35:14
person
35:15
and I
35:15
have
35:15
this idea
35:16
that,
35:16
you know,
35:16
I want
35:17
to check
35:17
all the boxes.
35:18
Sometimes
35:18
I can get
35:19
a little
35:19
caught up
35:20
in
35:20
the idea
35:20
that I
35:20
have to
35:21
be
35:21
productive,
35:22
And that
35:22
I need to
35:22
accomplish
35:23
something,
35:24
and that
35:24
reading
35:25
isn't
35:25
going
35:25
to
35:25
accomplish
35:26
that
35:26
something.
35:27
And I
35:27
think
35:27
that it
35:28
helps me,
35:29
at least
35:29
sometimes,
35:30
to just
35:30
kind of
35:30
catch
35:30
myself
35:31
and
35:31
remember
35:31
that,
35:32
like we
35:32
talked
35:32
about at
35:33
the
35:33
beginning,
35:33
it is so important
35:34
for our
35:34
brains
35:35
to have
35:35
time to
35:35
recover.
35:36
And
35:36
reading,
35:37
escaping,
35:38
watching
35:38
a TV
35:39
show,
35:39
doing
35:40
something
35:40
you
35:40
thoroughly
35:41
enjoy,
35:41
you guys,
35:42
that is so powerful
35:44
and
35:44
it is so helpful
35:45
so
35:45
that you
35:45
can just
35:46
be fresh,
35:46
And that
35:47
your brain
35:47
is
35:48
functioning
35:48
well.
35:49
So
35:50
anyway,
35:50
Megan,
35:50
is there
35:51
anything
35:51
you want
35:51
to say
35:51
to end
35:52
before we
35:52
close out
35:53
and
35:53
come back
35:53
another
35:54
day?
35:55
You know,
35:55
I think
35:55
if
35:55
there's
35:55
one thing
35:56
that I
35:56
would
35:56
want
35:56
everyone
35:57
to take
35:57
away,
35:57
it's that
35:58
those
35:58
moments
35:59
where
35:59
you're
35:59
able
36:00
to feel
36:00
more joy,
36:01
where
36:01
you're
36:01
able to
36:02
disconnect
36:02
a little
36:03
bit,
36:03
where
36:03
you're
36:03
able to
36:04
sort of
36:04
find some
36:05
support
36:06
through
36:06
reading,
36:06
through
36:07
positive
36:07
activities,
36:08
through
36:08
hobbies,
36:08
whatever
36:09
it may be
36:10
that is,
36:10
as
36:11
productive
36:11
and as
36:12
important
36:12
as
36:12
checking
36:13
off that
36:13
To-Do list,
36:14
because
36:14
you're
36:15
really
36:15
investing
36:15
in
36:15
setting
36:16
yourself
36:16
up to
36:17
be able
36:17
to do
36:17
those
36:18
things
36:18
and to
36:18
enjoy,
36:19
you know,
36:19
the time
36:20
that
36:20
is in
36:20
front
36:20
of you.
36:21
It's it's
36:21
important
36:22
and it's
36:22
powerful.
36:23
And
36:23
I think
36:23
that would be
36:23
like,
36:24
the one thing
36:24
for danet
36:25
and I
36:25
that's
36:25
through
36:25
reading,
36:26
I'm so
36:27
grateful
36:27
that that
36:27
that
36:28
reading
36:28
has
36:28
brought
36:28
us
36:28
together.
36:29
thank you
36:30
so much
36:30
for
36:30
having me
36:31
on.
36:31
This is
36:31
so fun.
36:32
It's
36:32
been so fun.
36:33
I cannot
36:33
wait
36:33
to have
36:33
you come
36:34
back.
36:34
And we're
36:34
going
36:34
to talk
36:34
more
36:35
with
36:35
Megan
36:35
about
36:35
emotional
36:36
regulation,
36:37
and
36:37
how kind
36:38
of using
36:38
reading
36:38
can help
36:39
you
36:39
process
36:39
that.
36:40
just to
36:40
end, I'm
36:41
going
36:41
to show,
36:42
my
36:42
favorite
36:43
to non
36:43
fantasy
36:44
books
36:44
for
36:44
those of
36:45
you who
36:45
are not
36:45
fantasy
36:45
readers.
36:46
So
36:47
this is
36:47
a really,
36:47
really
36:48
powerful
36:48
book.
36:48
If
36:48
you haven't
36:49
ever read
36:49
this one,
36:49
Megan,
36:50
recommend
36:50
this
36:50
to you.
36:51
Radical
36:52
Remission
36:52
by Kelly
36:53
Turner
36:54
and
36:54
I have no idea
36:55
if this is
36:55
backwards.
36:56
I'm
36:56
sorry,
36:57
but it's
36:57
Radical
36:57
Remission
36:58
by Kelly
36:58
Turner.
36:59
And then
37:00
I loved
37:00
this
37:01
book.
37:01
If
37:01
you guys
37:01
have
37:01
never
37:02
listened
37:02
to
37:02
Glennon
37:03
Doyle
37:03
talk,
37:04
she is so funny.
37:05
And she
37:05
writes
37:06
the way
37:06
that she
37:06
talks.
37:07
And
37:07
this is
37:07
like
37:07
a memoir.
37:08
And I
37:09
mean,
37:09
I have,
37:10
like,
37:10
covered
37:10
this
37:11
thing
37:11
in notes
37:11
and
37:12
anecdotes,
37:12
and
37:13
it has
37:13
been such
37:14
a funny
37:15
read
37:15
for me.
37:15
Like,
37:16
she is
37:16
hilarious.
37:17
Like,
37:17
I just
37:17
remember
37:18
cackling
37:18
and
37:18
reading out
37:18
loud.
37:19
So
37:20
that would be
37:20
my two
37:21
books
37:21
to say.
37:21
If you're
37:21
not a
37:22
fantasy
37:22
reader,
37:22
go
37:23
and read
37:23
one of those.
37:24
and just
37:24
to review
37:25
Megan,
37:25
do
37:25
you want
37:26
to just
37:26
show up
37:26
like
37:26
the books
37:27
that
37:27
you shared
37:28
that,
37:28
were some
37:28
of your
37:29
absolute
37:29
favorites?
37:30
That if
37:30
you are
37:31
a fantasy
37:31
reader
37:32
or
37:32
you want
37:32
to become
37:33
a
37:33
romantasy
37:34
reader,
37:34
please
37:35
try
37:35
these.
37:35
They're
37:36
so good.
37:38
Yes.
37:38
this is
37:39
where,
37:39
sorry
37:39
at fate
37:40
inked
37:40
in Blood
37:41
by
37:41
Danielle
37:41
Jensen.
37:42
When
37:42
the Moon
37:43
Hatched
37:43
by Sarah
37:44
Parker,
37:45
and
37:45
Kingdom
37:45
of Ash,
37:46
which
37:46
is part
37:46
of the
37:47
throne
37:47
of Glass
37:47
series
37:48
by Sarah
37:48
J moss
37:49
Don't
37:50
read that
37:50
one
37:50
first.
37:51
That
37:51
one's at
37:51
the end.
37:52
The very,
37:52
very
37:52
last one
37:54
anyway.
37:55
Okay.
37:55
You guys.
37:55
Well,
37:56
Megan,
37:56
thank you
37:56
again.
37:57
Let's
37:57
go live
37:58
by our
37:58
motto
37:59
here of
37:59
the whole
38:00
idea that
38:00
a book
38:00
a day
38:01
keeps the
38:01
mental
38:02
breakdowns
38:02
away.
38:04
And I
38:04
will
38:04
see you
38:04
guys next
38:05
time.
38:06
All
38:06
right.