Latest / Aired Out / Chris Neville - Sweethearts & Heroes

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Chris Neville - Sweethearts & Heroes · Aired Out

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Speaker 1: The tender, the topic to the tata, the storm stop,
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Speaker 1: the tuna in the the the gather people, then the
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Speaker 1: pendant to the t the gy cocted tad the g.
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Speaker 2: Good morning and welcome to a brand new day. The
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Speaker 2: sun is shining, kind of actual weather service saying that
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Speaker 2: it's gonna be a pretty nice day I had today.
1:46
Speaker 2: We have mixes sun and clouds. I think for the
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Speaker 2: most part here of the next couple of days, we'll
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Speaker 2: be more on the cloudy side and fifty one later
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Speaker 2: today we're at forty one right now, clouds tonight, some
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Speaker 2: rain showers coming in real late and then tomorrow sun
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Speaker 2: and clouds fifty five. We're looking ahead to Friday, partly
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Speaker 2: sunny and about fifty three gets warmer, sixty one and
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Speaker 2: partly sunny for Saturday and Sunday, finishing up the weekend
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Speaker 2: might even get into the upper sixties, if you can
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Speaker 2: imagine that. It is an absolute pleasure to have you
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Speaker 2: on board. Sweethearts and Heroes Day every Wednesday, and we're
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Speaker 2: gonna be chatting with my good new friend Chris in
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Speaker 2: just a little bit. First, deb Phillips from the World,
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Speaker 2: Good morning Deb, How are you?
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Speaker 3: Good morning Jad?
2:44
Speaker 2: How are things happening over there? You all right?
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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we're rocking and rolling.
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Speaker 2: Got a chance to see Carol yesterday running around in
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Speaker 2: our community. But it's nice to have you every Wednesday morning.
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Speaker 2: Deb Phillips from the world. What do we uh? And
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Speaker 2: this is when the world comes out? What are we
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Speaker 2: expecting from today? Deb?
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Speaker 4: Well, we're continuing with our shop Local promotion that's going
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Speaker 4: to feature one of ten local businesses each week. The
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Speaker 4: futured advertiser this week is Gillies Sales and Service and
3:17
Speaker 4: East My Piliar. They are loaded with boats and pontoon
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Speaker 4: boats and they have used uh pre owned used and
3:27
Speaker 4: sounds so nice pre owned uh motorcycles ATVs UTVs. Yeah,
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Speaker 4: and they have one of the best service departments uh
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Speaker 4: for all of that uh in the whole area.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, they sure do. You're absolutely right. What else do
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Speaker 2: we have?
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Speaker 5: Uh?
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Speaker 4: Well, we also have our annual salute to volunteers and
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Speaker 4: this section, you know, it's just recognizes the fact that
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Speaker 4: volunteers and a lot of these organizations are what make
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Speaker 4: them work and they want to say thank you to
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Speaker 4: those volunteers.
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Speaker 2: Wow, it it is so true. They make They're really
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Speaker 2: the lifeblood of not just the Berry community, but all
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Speaker 2: of central Vermont.
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Speaker 4: Oh, definitely. Plus we have don't Miss the American two
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Speaker 4: hundred and fifty series. That's the weekly history column aimed
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Speaker 4: at examination of important individuals, events, and places in Vermont history.
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Speaker 4: And this runs every week through the end of December.
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Speaker 2: Wonderful. Yeah, it's always chuck full of so much great reading,
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Speaker 2: great advertising. You know, I see the stuff like the
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Speaker 2: pie breakfast fundraiser, the Berlin Fire Department that happening this weekend.
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Speaker 2: There's just always such great community stuff that is packed
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Speaker 2: into the World newspaper every single week.
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Speaker 4: Really hard at that.
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Speaker 2: I know, you do anything else that you can think
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Speaker 2: of deb that you want to showcase for today's paper
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Speaker 2: coming out the World today, That's what I have.
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Speaker 4: On the table today. So but I know there's a
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Speaker 4: whole lot more in there that that people can look
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Speaker 4: forward to.
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Speaker 2: Well, it's Chris is going to be delivering it soon,
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Speaker 2: but it'll be on news stands everywhere. We're talking about
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Speaker 2: what twenty thirty thousand people going to be picking up
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Speaker 2: the World this week.
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Speaker 4: Well, well read by about twenty two thousand every weeks
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Speaker 4: ten thousand, Okay, so it's a big job and everybody's
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Speaker 4: out there getting ready to deliver.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Springtime is such a busy time of year, Deb,
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Speaker 2: everything is bottlenecking right now. We're I don't know about
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Speaker 2: your calendar, but mine's booked way into the end of
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Speaker 2: May right now.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, a lot.
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Speaker 4: You know, we love spring.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, vt dashworld dot com. Sales at vtashworld dot com
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Speaker 2: and four seven nine twenty five eighty two. If you
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Speaker 2: would like to give them a jingle over there, probably
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Speaker 2: Deb Phillips, who you're listening to right now, is going
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Speaker 2: to be answering the phone if you call it. If
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Speaker 2: you want to learn about some advertising, that's a great
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Speaker 2: way to do it right there.
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Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Jadie.
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Speaker 2: Thankstep Central from Out's favorite weekly newspaper, It is the World.
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Speaker 2: And as I was just mentioning this all you can
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Speaker 2: eat Pie Breakfast fundraiser, was talking with Chanet yesterday over
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Speaker 2: at the Berlin Fire Department, the four Corners station there.
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Speaker 2: It is going to be amazing on Saturday, the Pie
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Speaker 2: Breakfast Fundraiser. It's the biggest one they have of the year.
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Speaker 2: From nine thirty until noon. Fifteen bucks gets you in
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Speaker 2: starting again at nine thirty sharp and if you want
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Speaker 2: to bring a pie. Get it there by eight am.
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Speaker 2: Here's the poster. You've seen this probably everywhere, especially the
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Speaker 2: digital version. It's just been all over the events page
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Speaker 2: here on Facebook. So have a great weekend. Birthdays today.
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Speaker 2: Peter Frampton seventy six years old, my favorite guitarist along
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Speaker 2: with David Gilmore. Jack Nicholson eighty nine years old. Today
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Speaker 2: we are just thirteen days away from Teacher Appreciation Day
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Speaker 2: and a guy that is sitting next to me here
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Speaker 2: on the curvy couch is not only not only a
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Speaker 2: teacher and has been a teacher for a long time,
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Speaker 2: but the co principal of the Brookside Primary School right
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Speaker 2: in Waterbury, Chris Neville. Am I saying that? Right?
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Speaker 3: That's correct Chris Neville?
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Speaker 2: How are you man?
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Speaker 3: I'm doing great.
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Speaker 2: It is an absolute pleasure to meet you. This is
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Speaker 2: Sweethearts and Heroes Day every Wednesday here on the aired
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Speaker 2: OW podcast, and I have just met you just a
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Speaker 2: short time of So you are very connected to the
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Speaker 2: Sweethearts and Heroes family. How so what's your story?
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Speaker 5: So my story of connection to Sweethearts and Heroes is
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Speaker 5: Tom Murphy, one of the co founders is my cousin.
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Speaker 2: Wow, that must be. So you've known him for a
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Speaker 2: very very long time.
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Speaker 3: As long as I can remember.
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Speaker 2: What is it like being related even distantly to Tom Murphy?
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Speaker 5: I guess I was thinking you might ask me that
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Speaker 5: on the way in, So I was thinking about how
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Speaker 5: to describe this, and you can't. I don't know that
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Speaker 5: I can, other than he has been an inspiration to
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Speaker 5: me in different ways my whole.
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Speaker 2: Life, same here, same here. And I've only known him
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Speaker 2: for I don't know, I want to say a year
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Speaker 2: and a half, maybe two years now, somewhere in that ballpark,
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Speaker 2: and that guy has opened my eyes to a different
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Speaker 2: way of thinking without even really realizing it. And I
9:10
Speaker 2: have found myself as I'm I know you have in
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Speaker 2: certain situations that come up in life where I have
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Speaker 2: said to myself, what would Tom say? How would Tom react?
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Speaker 2: What would Tom think? And it's not just Tom, It's
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Speaker 2: it's Ricky Irish and the rest of the really the
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Speaker 2: whole team, I mean all of them, Loudon, Pat Fish,
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Speaker 2: just Brian, Josiah everyone. I mean, they all are just
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Speaker 2: amazing people.
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Speaker 3: I would agree with that.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, obviously I'm related to some of those
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Speaker 5: guys through Tom, and I've met Rick through Tom and uh, yeah,
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Speaker 5: Rick is just one of the most inspiring people that
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Speaker 5: I've met, just in terms of how it has turned
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Speaker 5: tragedy into a way of.
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Speaker 3: Positively shaping people's lives.
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Speaker 5: Is just really really amazing, you know, and I first
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Speaker 5: met Rick before he had his book, so that's been
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Speaker 5: really cool to kind of see.
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Speaker 3: You know, the message has.
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Speaker 5: Been similar throughout time, but now you know that addition,
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Speaker 5: and uh, just the the growth that their organization has
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Speaker 5: had and just continuing to spread positive messages to kids
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Speaker 5: is just really really awesome.
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Speaker 2: So they have been in your school, Brookside Primary School
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Speaker 2: in Waterbury even just recently.
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Speaker 5: Yeah last year, Yeah, yeah, I was through a sponsorship
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Speaker 5: with Cody Chevrolet. So thank you to Cody Chevrolet. Shout
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Speaker 5: out if anybody is listening. Yeah, just really putting putting
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Speaker 5: money to good work. And they Tom reached out to me.
10:48
Speaker 5: They had that opportunity, and you know, given you know
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Speaker 5: recent budget budget struggles that you've heard about throughout Vermont
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Speaker 5: over the last few years, it really allowed us to
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Speaker 5: bring them to our school last year and then they
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Speaker 5: visited the four other elementary schools in the Harwood district
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Speaker 5: earlier this school year. Actually, I don't know if it
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Speaker 5: was earlier this school year or might have been last spring,
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Speaker 5: I can't remember specifically, but also through the same sponsorship.
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Speaker 5: So all five of our elementary schools have heard the
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Speaker 5: message at this point.
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Speaker 2: And what is that message for. We get new listeners,
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Speaker 2: We get new followers all the time, and some are
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Speaker 2: just joining us for the first time, and they're like,
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Speaker 2: who is this guy and what is he talking about?
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Speaker 2: And what is sweethearts and heroes? And why is this
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Speaker 2: guy wearing a shirt that says free hugs on it?
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Speaker 2: What is this all about?
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Speaker 5: So the basic premise is it's about teaching kids how
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Speaker 5: to handle bullying, kind of the age old question of bullying.
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Speaker 5: And so you know, research would say that something called
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Speaker 5: bystander intervention is the way that you prevent bullying and
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Speaker 5: support children who are being bully And you know, in education,
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Speaker 5: we use a lot of jargon to describe things. So
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Speaker 5: what is bystander intervention? And it's essentially teaching kids to
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Speaker 5: help other kids and notice when kids are being treated
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Speaker 5: unkindly or unfairly or being bullied. You know, that word
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Speaker 5: sometimes gets thrown around in context that isn't one hundred
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Speaker 5: percent true. But conflict arises between kids, and when it
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Speaker 5: happens over time, you know, one kid to another, you
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Speaker 5: know you would you would call it bullying. And it's
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Speaker 5: really about teaching the other kids how do you deal
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Speaker 5: with that? Sure, if you notice a kid being treated
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Speaker 5: a certain way, what are the steps you can take?
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Speaker 2: And repeatedly something that's like a habitual bad experience that's
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Speaker 2: just not going away. It's it's a it's a as
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Speaker 2: Tom has said, it's it's a it's a balance, it's
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Speaker 2: a power imbalance.
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Speaker 5: Right, yeah, And it's repeated over time, and often the
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Speaker 5: victim of bullying doesn't see a way out. You know,
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Speaker 5: we right or you know, we teach kids to you know,
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Speaker 5: stand up for themselves and use their words, and that
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Speaker 5: works if a kid has the ability to do that
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Speaker 5: and then the other kid actually listens. And when that
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Speaker 5: doesn't happen, like you said, it's repeated over time, then
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Speaker 5: we would call that bullying.
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Speaker 3: And this is about teaching the other kids what to
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Speaker 3: do in that situation.
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Speaker 5: Right, And so they call it the ABC's a bullying
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Speaker 5: And what they've done is they've taken a you know,
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Speaker 5: somewhat complicated concept of bystander intervention and broken it down
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Speaker 5: in a way that makes it understandable for kids. And
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Speaker 5: then they do that through a really amazing presentation that
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Speaker 5: involves Ricky Aarish who's a wounded warrior, and they really
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Speaker 5: bring in and give kids they call them bully drills,
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Speaker 5: like some practice on what do I do if my
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Speaker 5: friend is being bullied or you know, And it works
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Speaker 5: in bullying right in the most severe sense of that word,
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Speaker 5: but it also works just to help kids notice what
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Speaker 5: unkind behavior is happening, to build.
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Speaker 2: In school or out of school, right on the school bus,
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Speaker 2: before the day, at the end of the day, on.
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Speaker 5: The weekends, on the weekends, on the baseball team, you know,
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Speaker 5: on the hockey team, just in life.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, And the role playing that Tom does with
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Speaker 2: with Rick and the rest of his staff is absolutely amazing.
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Speaker 2: And they start is you've seen in your school super young?
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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, we're a pre K to four elementary school,
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Speaker 5: and they did they they now have presentations for K two. Uh,
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Speaker 5: they did a presentation for three four, and then they
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Speaker 5: have middle and high school presentations as well, and they
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Speaker 5: the presentations are the content is slightly different depending on
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Speaker 5: the age of the kids because one of the hooks
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Speaker 5: they use is that Tom, the main presenter, is a
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Speaker 5: former MMA fighter. You know, in the high school presentation
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Speaker 5: there is the hook is there's clips of him as
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Speaker 5: an MMA fighter woming winning and then they fight UFC,
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Speaker 5: right and then and then you know, he talks about
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Speaker 5: a message of empathy and kindness.
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Speaker 3: This big tough and he's a big guy, yeah physically,
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Speaker 3: and he.
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Speaker 5: Talks about this message of kindness, and it really is
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Speaker 5: very impactful and powerful.
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Speaker 2: There's some stigmas that are massive, you know that. Uh,
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Speaker 2: these guys are chipping away at it and slowly I
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Speaker 2: think they're destroying some of the stigmas that that go
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Speaker 2: with all of this kind of content.
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Speaker 5: If if you're mean by you know, to be a
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Speaker 5: big tough MMA fighter, you have to be a cruel,
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Speaker 5: mean guy, then yeah, I agree with that one hundred percent.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's you know, more about.
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Speaker 5: How can I be that person and be this tough
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Speaker 5: person that people view as this really strong, short person,
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Speaker 5: but also I'm a big, big softie, have a heart
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Speaker 5: of gold, and really I'm trying to change people's lives positively.
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Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know. Here so here you are as the
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Speaker 2: co principle of Brookside Primary School right in water Buria, Vermont.
16:07
Speaker 2: You've been at that post for how long? Now?
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Speaker 3: This is almost the end of my fifth year.
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Speaker 1: Wow?
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Speaker 2: Wow, how's it? How has it been? Amazing?
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Speaker 3: It is a great school. Waterbury is a great community.
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Speaker 5: I have a co principal that I work with named
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Speaker 5: Sarah Schoolcraft, who is fantastic. We have a great partnership.
16:26
Speaker 5: I've got a really committed staff, a supportive parent community.
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Speaker 5: But really, it's been amazing. I have nothing negative to say.
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Speaker 2: How many students we have?
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Speaker 5: Three hundred and sixty students pre K to four?
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Speaker 2: Okay, you know our school board here is really having
16:48
Speaker 2: some contentious experiences and exchanges with one another. I don't
16:56
Speaker 2: know about yours, but I'm seeing it. I'm hearing it,
17:01
Speaker 2: I'm reading it. I did again last night. I mean,
17:06
Speaker 2: you know, every other hour. I mean, you know, we've
17:09
Speaker 2: got some voting coming up. I mean there's there's just
17:13
Speaker 2: a lot of stress and anxiety and taxes and numbers
17:20
Speaker 2: and percentages and per pupil rates, and it's just there's
17:29
Speaker 2: so much heavy, heavy shit. And it's like I understand,
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Speaker 2: I understand all that and and and that's important, but man,
17:42
Speaker 2: it's like you know, I was thinking last night and
17:45
Speaker 2: it was thinking about having you on, and I'm like,
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Speaker 2: I get it. But in the end, man, the kids don't.
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Speaker 2: They don't know this, they don't understan stand this. They're
18:02
Speaker 2: in a different they're in a different world. And again
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Speaker 2: I understand, as adults we need to make decisions, we
18:11
Speaker 2: need to figure it out. It's very important. I get it.
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Speaker 2: But our kids, man, they're at the end of the line.
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Speaker 2: They the buck stops right there with them. They are
18:23
Speaker 2: going to be paying the price more than anything else
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Speaker 2: by all of these freaking adults that are having pissing
18:31
Speaker 2: matches about stuff that in the end, we need to
18:36
Speaker 2: have our focus on the kids their mental health, their
18:40
Speaker 2: physical health, of course, but their mental health and making
18:43
Speaker 2: sure that they're not just going through school learning the
18:48
Speaker 2: core curriculum, which we both agree super important, but they're
18:53
Speaker 2: going through school learning some real life skills, and then
18:59
Speaker 2: we're taking care of them beyond one plus one equals
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Speaker 2: too in the classroom.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I think school is about preparing kids
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Speaker 5: for life, and part of preparing them for life is
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Speaker 5: how do they show up in the world for each other,
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Speaker 5: for themselves, how do they feel empowered? To be the
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Speaker 5: best version of themselves, to be better, and to be better,
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Speaker 5: how do they learn how to treat other people and
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Speaker 5: really find the value in kindness and empathy? And really,
19:36
Speaker 5: because I you know, I've worked in elementary my entire career.
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Speaker 5: This is my twenty first year in education.
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Speaker 3: And kids.
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Speaker 5: Naturally care for one another, They naturally want to be
19:51
Speaker 5: in community together. They naturally their nature is empathy. When
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Speaker 5: they're given that opportunity and that it's modeled for them, right,
20:01
Speaker 5: and they you know, it can go sideways and you
20:04
Speaker 5: know whereas you know, I mean, obviously you know there's
20:07
Speaker 5: survival instincts in people, in kids, but when shaped and guided,
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Speaker 5: I mean, they want to be in community together, they
20:15
Speaker 5: want to feel good about themselves, they want to treat
20:18
Speaker 5: others with kindness.
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Speaker 3: And we have a unique opportunity to model that for them,
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Speaker 3: you know.
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Speaker 2: And you just said the word model twice. And you
20:30
Speaker 2: know our families have to model that too, Our own
20:34
Speaker 2: parents have to model that too. And none of us
20:36
Speaker 2: are have We're not the Brady Bunch man. It's like
20:42
Speaker 2: none of us have the perfect family life at home
20:46
Speaker 2: with a mom and a dad and everything is hanky dory,
20:50
Speaker 2: But there should be some some modeling of respect and
20:56
Speaker 2: empathy at home too. It's got it at home to
21:00
Speaker 2: support what the school is doing, and the school needs
21:02
Speaker 2: to support what's what's being done at home if if
21:05
Speaker 2: it's done positively.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I think it's a community effort. Being
21:09
Speaker 5: a human in the world is complicated, right, you know,
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Speaker 5: And yeah, yeah, it starts at.
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Speaker 3: Home with families and communities.
21:17
Speaker 2: Sure.
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Speaker 5: You know, I feel really lucky in Waterbury were able
21:20
Speaker 5: to partner with families pretty closely to help support kids
21:24
Speaker 5: and you know, share similar messages of how we should
21:27
Speaker 5: treat one another, how we should show respect, and you know,
21:31
Speaker 5: what are the things that we need to value or
21:35
Speaker 5: teach kids to value?
21:36
Speaker 2: Yeah? Are our coach of my little girls softball team.
21:43
Speaker 2: We had the parents meeting last night, which nervous, but
21:54
Speaker 2: you know, one of the things was and coach was
21:58
Speaker 2: so serious, Jody Downing. I'm not going to mention any names,
22:02
Speaker 2: but Jody was like, you know, listen, your kids are
22:08
Speaker 2: getting older now, eleven, twelve, thirteen year old kids. The
22:14
Speaker 2: game is getting the ants is getting nupped. The competition
22:19
Speaker 2: is going to be shifting.
22:20
Speaker 4: Now.
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Speaker 2: These aren't little, tiny, little kids anymore. Competition is going
22:26
Speaker 2: to be ramped up. Please be a model parent, Please
22:34
Speaker 2: be respectful. Please remember that these refs are volunteers and
22:42
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's just a game. Relax,
22:49
Speaker 2: damper things down, Sit down, stay out of the dugout,
22:53
Speaker 2: you know, let your kids learn things on the field
22:58
Speaker 2: that I'll be the parent for a while the coach
23:01
Speaker 2: saying this, you sit out. You know what I mean,
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Speaker 2: Just some really important stuff that was said. But when
23:09
Speaker 2: these guys, when sweethearts and heroes comes into your school,
23:16
Speaker 2: they put on presentations, assemblies, whatever you want to call them,
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Speaker 2: for all different ages, and they they do role playing,
23:27
Speaker 2: they do as you said, they do stop drop and
23:30
Speaker 2: roll in. ABC's a bullying and everything. But they also
23:34
Speaker 2: bring in something where what's the great used tod go
23:38
Speaker 2: O K through we're pre k to four. Okay, what
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Speaker 2: are some of the biggest takeaways that you think you've
23:48
Speaker 2: seen with some of your students? And I'll ask the
23:52
Speaker 2: same question about your administration too.
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Speaker 3: So I mean, I think underlying all of it is
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Speaker 3: this message of kindness.
24:01
Speaker 5: Right. One of the vignettes that Rick gives in the
24:05
Speaker 5: presentation is just about how after he was first injured
24:09
Speaker 5: as a as a combat veteran in I Raq, just
24:13
Speaker 5: really the self consciousness and how he felt that people
24:18
Speaker 5: looked at him differently, you know, because there were some
24:20
Speaker 5: physical changes to how he looks. And you know, he
24:23
Speaker 5: shares a vignette of a little girl who showed him
24:27
Speaker 5: just this drop of kindness and just how impactful that
24:32
Speaker 5: was beginning and trying to take that and then how
24:36
Speaker 5: do we show kids that those little things matter? And
24:40
Speaker 5: over time those snowball like or it's like ripples in
24:43
Speaker 5: a pond like that that spreads, you know, and like
24:45
Speaker 5: part of showing kindness is the anti bullying stuff like
24:48
Speaker 5: stepping in when somebody is really in need or somebody
24:52
Speaker 5: is really.
24:52
Speaker 3: Being treated and treated in a way that you wouldn't
24:55
Speaker 3: want to be treated.
24:56
Speaker 5: But it's also like how do you all the time
24:59
Speaker 5: in tenly do things like that to show people that
25:03
Speaker 5: you care? Right, And that's where they talk about, you know,
25:06
Speaker 5: hold on possibilities exists this message of hope and really
25:10
Speaker 5: how many people feel hopeless? Like what I would say is,
25:13
Speaker 5: you know, in my career, in the last couple of years,
25:17
Speaker 5: the level of mental health need in young children is staggering.
25:23
Speaker 5: It's more than what I've seen, the amount of mental
25:26
Speaker 5: health need in society, but even in like parent community,
25:30
Speaker 5: you know, and and just helping every kid feel seen, heard, accepted, loved,
25:38
Speaker 5: And how do we continue to give kids opportunities to
25:43
Speaker 5: do that and model that.
25:44
Speaker 3: This is the way that I believe we.
25:48
Speaker 5: Should be in the world, is that kindness should be
25:51
Speaker 5: our first go to, not divisiveness, not i'm right, you're wrong,
25:55
Speaker 5: not I want to have more so you can have less.
25:59
Speaker 5: Just true human to human kindness that can snowball and really,
26:07
Speaker 5: you know, for for a while, one of the social
26:10
Speaker 5: media messages of of Sweethearts and Heroes was this could
26:13
Speaker 5: change the world. Tom used to say that all the time,
26:15
Speaker 5: and you know, what I would say is that it
26:17
Speaker 5: is changing the world, but also like impacting kids, is
26:21
Speaker 5: what's going to change the things that I believe need
26:25
Speaker 5: to be changed. Sure of the world, about society, about
26:29
Speaker 5: a lot of the things you see and hear on
26:31
Speaker 5: the news. Unfortunately, what what have.
26:34
Speaker 2: Some of the experiences of Circle been at Berkside.
26:41
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you and I were talking about that, but
26:42
Speaker 5: before it started, so we have done uh slightly different
26:47
Speaker 5: versions of Circle than what what Tom and Rick teach,
26:53
Speaker 5: particularly Tom, and but we the the idea of of
27:01
Speaker 5: creating space where people feel seen, heard, accepted, loved and
27:06
Speaker 5: really listened to.
27:09
Speaker 3: That's the piece like we use.
27:11
Speaker 5: We use circles with staff, We use it when hard
27:16
Speaker 5: things happen. We use it proactively with kids to start
27:20
Speaker 5: every day. You know, we use more of a of
27:24
Speaker 5: a it's called morning meeting, which is a little bit
27:26
Speaker 5: more it's from responsive classroom if any listeners are familiar
27:30
Speaker 5: with that, so it's a little more geared that way.
27:33
Speaker 5: But then we also expand it to other situations and
27:36
Speaker 5: that's more in line with the part that Tom teaches.
27:40
Speaker 5: And so when we had them come into our school,
27:44
Speaker 5: our older students got to experience and their teachers circles
27:49
Speaker 5: with Tom and just the power of just like in
27:53
Speaker 5: my opinion, really being listened to about something that really
27:57
Speaker 5: matters to you, and just the.
28:00
Speaker 3: The power of that.
28:02
Speaker 5: And and what was really interesting is that, uh, you know,
28:06
Speaker 5: Tom brings uh one of the pieces in circle is
28:09
Speaker 5: having a talking piece. So you know, like when you
28:11
Speaker 5: have the talking piece, you're the person talking, and when
28:13
Speaker 5: you don't, it's just a model of you know, hey,
28:15
Speaker 5: all attentions on you sort of thing.
28:18
Speaker 2: And talking piece basically kind of being figuratively a microphone
28:24
Speaker 2: a microphone.
28:25
Speaker 5: Yeah, and and you know Tom has a little bucket
28:29
Speaker 5: or a little container of talking pieces. And as Tom's
28:33
Speaker 5: been my cousin my whole life, as you know, his
28:35
Speaker 5: his mother or my mother and his father were our
28:39
Speaker 5: brother and sister. And uh, one of the talking pieces
28:43
Speaker 5: he brought out was something that he had gotten from
28:46
Speaker 5: our uncle that passed away several years ago. So even
28:49
Speaker 5: though we've known each other, I learned something about him
28:52
Speaker 5: that I didn't know because of the level of connection
28:54
Speaker 5: that was created through the circle. And so yeah, you know,
28:59
Speaker 5: obviously develop mental league kids receive that at different levels
29:02
Speaker 5: and especially at a young age. But trying to model
29:04
Speaker 5: that idea of like, hey, when we're all here together,
29:07
Speaker 5: like everybody's the same, we're all equal. We're here to
29:09
Speaker 5: support each other, we're here to care about each other,
29:12
Speaker 5: and we're here to listen.
29:13
Speaker 2: To each other. Yeah, and that's the power of listening.
29:17
Speaker 2: And it's not easy. It's not easy for so many
29:22
Speaker 2: of us to just zip it and listen to to someone.
29:30
Speaker 2: And you know, you go around a circle and everybody's
29:33
Speaker 2: got a different perspective. Everyone has a different life experience.
29:36
Speaker 2: They bring something so unique and to listen to to
29:41
Speaker 2: someone's answer of what was the best part of your
29:46
Speaker 2: day yesterday generally some pretty simple questions. To hear the answers,
29:56
Speaker 2: you can't really predict what you're going to hear.
30:01
Speaker 3: No, it's powerful.
30:03
Speaker 5: You learn things about people that you didn't know, you
30:06
Speaker 5: learn things about kids. For me, it's a way to
30:09
Speaker 5: learn how to approach certain kids differently because sometimes they're
30:13
Speaker 5: willing to share things that they wouldn't share in another format.
30:17
Speaker 5: But over time, when that level of safety is created,
30:23
Speaker 5: you can get deeper and deeper because everybody knows that
30:26
Speaker 5: it's okay to just share. Yeah, right, because no one's reacting,
30:29
Speaker 5: nobody's feeling defensive, no one's trying to tell you that
30:32
Speaker 5: you're wrong or that that's not the right way to
30:34
Speaker 5: think about it.
30:35
Speaker 3: It's just whatever you say is what you say, and
30:39
Speaker 3: we accept you for that. You know.
30:42
Speaker 2: And I said to you before our microphones went on,
30:46
Speaker 2: and I mean this so much. I wish that something
30:48
Speaker 2: like this was going on in my elementary school, which
30:51
Speaker 2: is one hundred years ago. But still, you know, I
30:55
Speaker 2: don't know about you, but man, that's just how I feel.
30:59
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, I think about you know, Tom and
31:02
Speaker 5: I have sometimes talked about like what is the long
31:06
Speaker 5: term impact of this sort of thing? And connecting it
31:09
Speaker 5: to your question, I wonder, like I didn't get exposed
31:12
Speaker 5: to this kind of thing until I was in college
31:15
Speaker 5: really to really think about things in this way. But
31:17
Speaker 5: like Tom will tell you, like people have been sitting
31:19
Speaker 5: in circles for thousands of years, So like why did
31:22
Speaker 5: that go away?
31:23
Speaker 3: And what might be different if this had happened?
31:27
Speaker 5: When I think we're around the same age, if when
31:30
Speaker 5: you and I and Tom were in school, maybe things
31:34
Speaker 5: would be different, or you know, fast forward twenty thirty
31:36
Speaker 5: years from now, what might be different because we just
31:40
Speaker 5: intentionally listened to each other.
31:42
Speaker 3: And accept each other.
31:43
Speaker 2: Tom started all of this, I think in twenty sixteen,
31:47
Speaker 2: if my memory is serving me, And then of course,
31:53
Speaker 2: you know, COVID hits and Plug gets pulled on many things,
32:03
Speaker 2: things that he has been so successful in bringing to
32:08
Speaker 2: the forefront, and now all of a sudden, the brakes
32:10
Speaker 2: get slammed. Slowly we start getting out of COVID, and
32:17
Speaker 2: Tom is finding that a lot of his work he's
32:24
Speaker 2: got to take some maybe some different roads on the map.
32:29
Speaker 2: I can't imagine this. I mean, we need this more
32:34
Speaker 2: than ever. I know it seems like COVID was yesterday,
32:38
Speaker 2: I know, six years ago, but man, we need this
32:41
Speaker 2: more than ever. I mean, there's kids that are just
32:44
Speaker 2: carrying a lot of crap. They're carrying a lot of weight,
32:48
Speaker 2: and some of them are also wearing a pretty impressive
32:54
Speaker 2: mask when they get off that bus. You don't know, it's.
33:04
Speaker 5: The baggage that some of our students come to school with,
33:07
Speaker 5: is it is mind blowing? You know, there's there's kids
33:11
Speaker 5: that have experienced and are experiencing things that no kids
33:14
Speaker 5: should have to experience.
33:15
Speaker 2: And stuff that you and I couldn't even imagine experience.
33:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
33:19
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel very lucky to have. You know, I
33:22
Speaker 5: came from a supportive, two parent home, and you know,
33:25
Speaker 5: things weren't perfect, but I didn't.
33:27
Speaker 2: Have we didn't have things like cyber bullying and all
33:29
Speaker 2: that shit.
33:30
Speaker 5: Right, Like, I didn't have the tragedy and trauma that
33:32
Speaker 5: a lot of kids experience. And now, yeah, the Internet
33:36
Speaker 5: has opened up a whole new world of ways that
33:41
Speaker 5: you know, kids gravitate towards, you know, elevating themselves by
33:45
Speaker 5: putting other people down.
33:46
Speaker 3: And yeah, you know, finding a friend group.
33:50
Speaker 5: Through I guess nefarious actions as opposed to somebody that
33:55
Speaker 5: likes to play baseball like you do, or you know,
33:58
Speaker 5: likes the same video game or whatever it is. It's
34:00
Speaker 5: you know, allyship around doing the wrong thing right, and
34:03
Speaker 5: so trying to shift that and give kids the opportunity that, hey, like,
34:08
Speaker 5: being kind is cool. Sure, sure, being kind of actually
34:12
Speaker 5: make you feel better?
34:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, then you know it's it's it's amazing. You know,
34:17
Speaker 2: we put labels on my god, everything, but when you
34:21
Speaker 2: sit in a circle and I'm going to label here,
34:24
Speaker 2: you got you got the you got the emo, you
34:27
Speaker 2: got the jock, you got the geek.
34:30
Speaker 5: Uh. You know.
34:34
Speaker 2: The commonalities though that are discovered in circle, that that
34:40
Speaker 2: Tom has you have witnessed are unbelievable. It doesn't matter
34:46
Speaker 2: if you're the jock or the geek. The commonalities and
34:51
Speaker 2: that jock when he sees that geek walking down the
34:56
Speaker 2: hallway and they see each other, they don't have to
34:59
Speaker 2: necessary speak to each other, but they understand each other
35:03
Speaker 2: without using words. I mean, there's the respect is just
35:08
Speaker 2: created organically.
35:12
Speaker 3: I would agree with that.
35:13
Speaker 5: You know, I think that as humans, as kids, we're
35:15
Speaker 5: looking for a community of people to be a part
35:20
Speaker 5: of community of humans to be a part of. And
35:24
Speaker 5: often as you're younger, or even as you get older,
35:26
Speaker 5: that's centered around you know, common interests or you know,
35:29
Speaker 5: you're a sports player, you like this, sure, but our
35:32
Speaker 5: humanness is deeper than that, you know, and people want
35:37
Speaker 5: to be treated with empathy. People want to be shown love,
35:40
Speaker 5: people want to be respected, and you know, giving kids
35:45
Speaker 5: a way to do that that is outside of whatever
35:49
Speaker 5: friend group they belong to or whatever you know, their
35:52
Speaker 5: primary interest is, or whatever they think they need to
35:55
Speaker 5: do to be a part of this team or a
35:57
Speaker 5: part of this club. And except yeah, really teaching acceptance
36:01
Speaker 5: because at the core, there's more that is alike about
36:05
Speaker 5: us than not. And unfortunately that's not the message that
36:10
Speaker 5: you You hear a lot, I know, and the Internet
36:13
Speaker 5: has just exacerbated that to the nth degree, just that
36:16
Speaker 5: you're you got to look this way, you got to
36:18
Speaker 5: do this, you got to be part of this group.
36:19
Speaker 5: And it's developmentally, it's confusing for kids because I don't
36:25
Speaker 5: think that kids naturally gravit I mean, kids naturally gravitate
36:28
Speaker 5: towards community with other people that are like interests. But
36:32
Speaker 5: I don't believe they naturally gravitate towards you know, anger
36:36
Speaker 5: and divisiveness and treating each other differently just because they're different.
36:41
Speaker 2: It's learned behavior, and and learned by the example that
36:51
Speaker 2: adults are showcasing, either on social media or either on
36:57
Speaker 2: the telephone while they're driving down the road there in
37:00
Speaker 2: an argument with their friend about politics or or the war,
37:04
Speaker 2: and I ran, whatever, you gotta you gotta see it
37:08
Speaker 2: my way. If if you don't see it my way,
37:13
Speaker 2: you're wrong, you're wrong, or your head is in the sand.
37:18
Speaker 2: And our kids are man, they're always listening. They're always
37:22
Speaker 2: and I have to remind myself of that too. My
37:25
Speaker 2: kids always listening even though she might be on her tablet,
37:28
Speaker 2: even though she might be watching a movie, or even
37:30
Speaker 2: though she might be reading something. She's got her ear
37:33
Speaker 2: on Mom and Dad all the time. Yeah, we were
37:38
Speaker 2: setting examples, constantly agreed.
37:42
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's uh, it's important to remember that and hard
37:49
Speaker 5: to you know, live into the ideal that you want
37:52
Speaker 5: to model for your kids all the time.
37:54
Speaker 2: Sure, you know, And I've said things to to Tom
37:58
Speaker 2: and thinking that you know, wow, he you know this
38:03
Speaker 2: is you know, I gotta I gotta tell Tom this
38:06
Speaker 2: is this is he's gonna be wowed. He's not wild.
38:09
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, okay, yeah, So what are you gonna
38:13
Speaker 2: do about it? What do you what do you think
38:15
Speaker 2: you could have done or said differently, Mike, Tom, I
38:18
Speaker 2: don't know. And I'm sure you've had these conversations with
38:23
Speaker 2: him too, but he's just he has such, uh such
38:28
Speaker 2: a perspective of giving yourself a break too. You know,
38:33
Speaker 2: he says, relax, stop beating yourself up, take a deep breath,
38:37
Speaker 2: take a step back.
38:38
Speaker 3: Yeah.
38:39
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean Tom is a really thoughtful person. And
38:43
Speaker 5: he's also somebody that, in my opinion and experience, like
38:50
Speaker 5: he takes action for things that he believes in, right,
38:53
Speaker 5: So he's very action oriented, you know. So he's always
38:56
Speaker 5: thinking like, oh, if that didn't go the way that
38:58
Speaker 5: I want it, how will I make that different next time?
39:01
Speaker 5: And I think that's something that I always appreciate about
39:04
Speaker 5: talking to him, is like, you know, he's not gonna
39:06
Speaker 5: just let you. He's gonna make you think about it
39:08
Speaker 5: and really like not you know, there's very few things
39:13
Speaker 5: that are surface level with Tom, especially now. You know,
39:18
Speaker 5: a friend of mine uses this term, Like he used
39:22
Speaker 5: to say to me like you know, you get into
39:23
Speaker 5: a conversation. He said, you want big talk or small talk? Yeah,
39:26
Speaker 5: you know, small talks of the weather. Big talk is
39:28
Speaker 5: the stuff that Tom wants to talk about. And I
39:30
Speaker 5: actually said that to my wife after the last time
39:32
Speaker 5: I saw Tom. I said, you know that what I
39:34
Speaker 5: appreciate is that it's big talk. You know, like I
39:37
Speaker 5: haven't seen him for a while, and the first thing
39:39
Speaker 5: he says to me, it's right to some depth about
39:42
Speaker 5: something that had happened in my life because he wanted
39:45
Speaker 5: to connect at that level.
39:46
Speaker 3: He didn't want to you know, he didn't he didn't
39:48
Speaker 3: want to hear about like you know, I know, you
39:51
Speaker 3: know who won the worst sports game last night.
39:53
Speaker 5: He wanted to know how it was really feeling about
39:56
Speaker 5: something that had impactful that had happened to me recently.
39:58
Speaker 2: And I've tried, I've tried. I have tried hard a
40:03
Speaker 2: few times to small talk Tom.
40:05
Speaker 3: He can't do.
40:06
Speaker 2: It doesn't work. He goes right for the juncular every time.
40:11
Speaker 2: I know, but we also have some pretty good laughs
40:14
Speaker 2: and it go around and then he'll start getting into
40:17
Speaker 2: the meat of it, and like, Tom, you know, I'm
40:21
Speaker 2: about to lose cell service, have you tried that one
40:25
Speaker 2: with Tom.
40:26
Speaker 3: You know, no, I haven't.
40:27
Speaker 5: I've even tried that one. Imagine he'd call me back
40:30
Speaker 5: fifteen times in a.
40:32
Speaker 3: Row after that he does.
40:34
Speaker 2: You know, he's quoted saying Sweethearts and Heroes doesn't focus
40:39
Speaker 2: on creating another cell social emotional learning or human skills curriculum. Instead,
40:47
Speaker 2: we implement practices and habits. There's a key word there
40:52
Speaker 2: that genuinely empower and nurture students growth, you know. And
40:59
Speaker 2: I got thinking him about that habits, what we do
41:07
Speaker 2: every single day consistently, habits. And I started thinking about that.
41:14
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, this is a guy that former
41:18
Speaker 2: UFC fighter, And I started thinking about muscle memory in
41:27
Speaker 2: Brazilian jiu jitsu or any other form of martial art.
41:34
Speaker 2: The body's ability to instinctively to naturally react without having
41:40
Speaker 2: to think or calculate it's just right there, and what
41:48
Speaker 2: that actually means, whether it's a hip escape or whatever
41:54
Speaker 2: it may be. Tom's doing this with kids, He's doing
41:59
Speaker 2: this with kids at your school, at Brookside Primary School
42:03
Speaker 2: in Watermara, getting them to instinctually respond and react to
42:12
Speaker 2: things that they see or hear. And that's really profound stuff.
42:21
Speaker 2: I mean, he's setting a foundation here for these kids
42:24
Speaker 2: that's going to be far beyond Brookside Primary School.
42:29
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I think that's the greatest hope, and
42:31
Speaker 5: that's that's the mission is, you know, you plan a
42:33
Speaker 5: seed for kids that sustains you know, like the you know,
42:38
Speaker 5: the the sustainability of the learning is what matters, you know,
42:42
Speaker 5: not a one and done type situation. And so you know,
42:45
Speaker 5: when you talk about you know, habits or you know
42:49
Speaker 5: things like that, it's about like you do it because
42:55
Speaker 5: like when you think about a habit, like you do
42:57
Speaker 5: it because there's something on the other side that is
43:00
Speaker 5: positive for you. You continue to do it because you
43:03
Speaker 5: get something from it, right, And if that habit is
43:06
Speaker 5: being kind to other people, if that habit is helping
43:10
Speaker 5: people in need, like over time, the benefit of that
43:13
Speaker 5: to yourself is great in terms of you know, your positive,
43:17
Speaker 5: positive emotions and how you feel about yourself. Obviously, it
43:20
Speaker 5: also greatly impacts other people, right, And if more people
43:25
Speaker 5: chose that, where would our world be? And so I
43:28
Speaker 5: think that's a good way to frame it in terms
43:31
Speaker 5: of like, you know, there's a there's another group out
43:35
Speaker 5: there called the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation and one
43:38
Speaker 5: of the things that they say is make kindness the norm. Right,
43:42
Speaker 5: I feel like underlying, you know, within Tom's method.
43:45
Speaker 3: I mean, that's what it is.
43:46
Speaker 5: It's about choosing kindness because everybody likes to receive that,
43:52
Speaker 5: and so why wouldn't.
43:54
Speaker 3: You choose that?
43:55
Speaker 2: And let's be honest, Sometimes, for whatever reason, whatever we're caring,
44:01
Speaker 2: we don't we don't feel like being kind.
44:04
Speaker 3: Yeah.
44:06
Speaker 2: So for those of us that don't feel like being kind,
44:09
Speaker 2: either right now or today or this week for whatever reason,
44:16
Speaker 2: it's especially hard to be kind when you don't really
44:20
Speaker 2: feel like being kind.
44:22
Speaker 5: It's yeah, I mean I would say, I would say
44:28
Speaker 5: it it's harder than we make it, or it's it's
44:33
Speaker 5: easier than we make it. We make it hard because
44:37
Speaker 5: our own in my opinion, our our own stuff gets
44:40
Speaker 5: in the way.
44:41
Speaker 2: Yeah.
44:41
Speaker 5: Right, if I think if people aren't when you're not
44:44
Speaker 5: choosing kindness, there's something else going on for you that's
44:47
Speaker 5: not allowing you to do that. Sure, because I think,
44:50
Speaker 5: like in the general sense, like for kids, like holding
44:54
Speaker 5: the door for somebody, if somebody drops something, pick it up,
44:56
Speaker 5: smiling and look at it, that those.
44:58
Speaker 3: Aren't hard things.
44:59
Speaker 5: Sure, they're hard when we let our own emotions, right,
45:02
Speaker 5: it would govern what we do.
45:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not feeling good about ourselves and we let
45:06
Speaker 3: that win.
45:07
Speaker 2: Kindness is hard, but just be aware, be cognizant of
45:11
Speaker 2: you know, if someone says good morning to you, hear
45:14
Speaker 2: that and respond with good morning. Or if someone says
45:21
Speaker 2: something to you, say thank you. Or if someone says hi,
45:26
Speaker 2: say hi back. Yeah, even if it's a stranger. Yeah,
45:31
Speaker 2: don't look the other way and keep walking say hi back. Yeah.
45:35
Speaker 3: I tell that.
45:36
Speaker 5: That's a simple one that I tell my students. And
45:39
Speaker 5: then what that results for me. If I'm walking down
45:41
Speaker 5: the hall during a passing period for lunch, I say
45:44
Speaker 5: hi seventy five times from one end of the school
45:48
Speaker 5: to the other. And it's very intentional. I say, I
45:49
Speaker 5: had every kid by name, and it's on purpose to
45:52
Speaker 5: model that. Yeah, because it's even good.
45:54
Speaker 3: They're going to be recognized.
45:55
Speaker 2: You know, even if you've got a lot of stuff
45:57
Speaker 2: going on in your mind, even if you're distracted or
45:59
Speaker 2: you're focused on on something, you still have to try
46:02
Speaker 2: to be that person.
46:04
Speaker 3: That's my goal, yeah, man, I believe, Yeah, that's my goal.
46:08
Speaker 2: You know, like muscle memory under pressure, these are trained habits.
46:14
Speaker 2: These are you've got to practice it every day, and
46:18
Speaker 2: it's not easy. Have you ever, as a principal, have
46:24
Speaker 2: you had a kid in your office who is either
46:32
Speaker 2: acting up a lot, seeking attention, seeking help in kind
46:38
Speaker 2: of an indirect way, or have you ever had a
46:41
Speaker 2: student in your office who has kind of given up
46:46
Speaker 2: and doesn't really have hope and you can see that,
46:52
Speaker 2: you can smell that, and how have you responded as
46:56
Speaker 2: a principal.
46:59
Speaker 5: Yes, so, yes to all of those. I do a
47:02
Speaker 5: lot of interactions with kids, and so over time, you know,
47:05
Speaker 5: I have had kids in all of those situations. You know,
47:14
Speaker 5: typically maladaptive behavior if you want to call it that
47:19
Speaker 5: or whatever in kids is driven by something, right, They're
47:23
Speaker 5: communicating a need to some level.
47:27
Speaker 3: And so you know, we.
47:30
Speaker 5: My co principal and I Sarah, we talk about this
47:33
Speaker 5: with each other a lot and also with staff, like
47:35
Speaker 5: behaviors communications. So it's like, what is the kid communicating
47:39
Speaker 5: and then what are they getting out of it that
47:42
Speaker 5: is continuing to fuel it, and how do we help
47:45
Speaker 5: shape that into something more positive?
47:48
Speaker 1: Right?
47:48
Speaker 5: Like, I had a student in my office the other day,
47:51
Speaker 5: and you know, he's going through hard time and he
47:53
Speaker 5: was doing some things in the classroom, and I said,
47:55
Speaker 5: you know, I just said to him, I said, hey,
47:56
Speaker 5: you know that if you need What came out was
47:59
Speaker 5: he was doing it because he knew that myself or
48:01
Speaker 5: one of the counselors would come and help them. And
48:04
Speaker 5: I said, you know, like if you need help, like
48:07
Speaker 5: you could just ask for it, Like you don't have
48:09
Speaker 5: to do all this to get help, Like we're here
48:11
Speaker 5: to help you, you know, and just that connection of like, hey,
48:15
Speaker 5: like I'm on your side, Like my whole job really
48:18
Speaker 5: is to help you. So if you need help, then
48:21
Speaker 5: just ask for the help. You don't have to, you know,
48:23
Speaker 5: refuse to do what the teachers asking, or be running
48:25
Speaker 5: around the classroom or writing something on the board that
48:27
Speaker 5: you shouldn't be because you know the teacher will pay
48:29
Speaker 5: attention to you for doing that. Just just ask for help,
48:32
Speaker 5: you know. And I mean it really depends on the
48:34
Speaker 5: kid and what they're dealing with, you know. Sometimes it's
48:36
Speaker 5: about getting them help outside of school, you know, sometimes
48:39
Speaker 5: it's just about intentional connections. But it's just about listening like, oh,
48:43
Speaker 5: mister Helbum, I'm having a really hard day today because
48:46
Speaker 5: my dog died this morning, or my grandma's sick or oh, man,
48:50
Speaker 5: I see how that's hard. I can empathize with you
48:52
Speaker 5: because I've I've experienced that, and that's okay. Your feelings
48:55
Speaker 5: are okay. All feelings are okay and valid.
48:59
Speaker 2: They may even want to be at school. They're they're grieving,
49:02
Speaker 2: they're distracted, they're they're they're mourning the loss of something.
49:06
Speaker 2: That's the last place they want to be is around
49:09
Speaker 2: a bunch of other people and adults. They want to
49:11
Speaker 2: they want to be home to to process things, but
49:14
Speaker 2: they've got to go to school. Right, So there they are,
49:16
Speaker 2: and they're not walking around with holding a poster board
49:19
Speaker 2: that says my dog died yesterday and my heart's broken.
49:25
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, they're not walking around with that sign you
49:28
Speaker 3: you don't know well and I true.
49:31
Speaker 5: And that's where the power of you know, we talked
49:33
Speaker 5: in the beginning about empathy and listening, and that's where
49:35
Speaker 5: it comes in. And building relationships so that they're willing
49:40
Speaker 5: to share those things with me. Right, the only time
49:42
Speaker 5: that they see me is not when they're in trouble
49:45
Speaker 5: or when they need something. It's like, try to build
49:47
Speaker 5: a trusting relationship so that when they do really need something,
49:50
Speaker 5: I they'll open up to me in a way that
49:52
Speaker 5: will allow me to support them.
49:57
Speaker 2: You're you and and Sarah and the rest of your
50:01
Speaker 2: whole administration at Brookside Elementary Primary School. You guys have
50:07
Speaker 2: been fair to say so, blessed by sweethearts and heroes
50:13
Speaker 2: and what they've brought to your school. But let's also
50:16
Speaker 2: you know, let's all throw also throw some big love
50:21
Speaker 2: and kudos to what's going on behind the scenes, which
50:26
Speaker 2: a lot of it is the North Country Chevy Dealers
50:29
Speaker 2: that are making sure that this is going to happen
50:35
Speaker 2: not just at your school, but at so many other
50:37
Speaker 2: schools around Vermont, not just Central Vermont. I mean, these
50:43
Speaker 2: North Country Chevy Dealers are key to this. They believe
50:48
Speaker 2: in sweethearts and heroes. They have seen firsthand the message,
50:53
Speaker 2: the impacts, the effects of this long term and they're
50:58
Speaker 2: making it sustainable.
51:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, we wouldn't have been able to bring
51:03
Speaker 3: them into our district.
51:05
Speaker 5: The last couple of years without their support. You know,
51:08
Speaker 5: you had mentioned like your school board and stuff. You know,
51:10
Speaker 5: our our district, our school board is actually working really
51:14
Speaker 5: well together to help support a tough situation. You know,
51:17
Speaker 5: the funding issue is real everywhere and everywhere, and so Unfortunately,
51:21
Speaker 5: what had that has caused is limited money to spend
51:24
Speaker 5: on things like sweethearts and heroes. And so through Cody
51:27
Speaker 5: Cody Chevrolet that that's who sponsored ours, we were able
51:30
Speaker 5: to I mean five elementary schools got that message. Sure,
51:33
Speaker 5: you know almost between the four the five schools, you know,
51:38
Speaker 5: about eight hundred, eight hundred to one thousand kids receive
51:41
Speaker 5: that message.
51:42
Speaker 3: Staff powerful stuff.
51:45
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was really, uh, in my opinion, a good
51:48
Speaker 5: way to spend those dollars.
51:51
Speaker 2: Tom. What's amazing about Tom is that he can get
51:58
Speaker 2: up and do a huge presentation about suicide. He can
52:04
Speaker 2: gear things for adults, linement teachers. But also he's he
52:15
Speaker 2: can be kind of a chameleon in this sense where
52:19
Speaker 2: he can adapt to young kids and every age in
52:24
Speaker 2: between and be a kid and goof off with them
52:31
Speaker 2: and laugh with them, but also have some underlying, pretty
52:36
Speaker 2: serious messaging behind it.
52:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a pretty amazing person.
52:41
Speaker 5: It's really been cool to see all the things he's
52:44
Speaker 5: accomplished in his life, but how he's grown sweethearts and
52:47
Speaker 5: heroes and really you know, expanded the message so that
52:51
Speaker 5: it is is more accessible for younger kids. You know,
52:57
Speaker 5: because at first, and I may be misstating this, but
53:00
Speaker 5: from what I remember, it started off as more of
53:02
Speaker 5: like a middle school thing that kind of grew into
53:05
Speaker 5: high school and then he kind of expanded it down
53:08
Speaker 5: because there was demand. But the other part that I
53:10
Speaker 5: think is really cool is how he's expanded the circle
53:13
Speaker 5: part of it into like professional organizations.
53:16
Speaker 3: You mentioned a lineman.
53:18
Speaker 5: I know he's done some work with them, with the
53:20
Speaker 5: train company that he used to work for and some
53:22
Speaker 5: other places of just like helping people learn how to
53:26
Speaker 5: intentionally connect in a way that is beyond the surface,
53:30
Speaker 5: and the power that has for creating community, for changing culture,
53:35
Speaker 5: for just getting people to see and recognize each other
53:39
Speaker 5: in a way that allows you to, my opinion, work
53:43
Speaker 5: together in a deeper way. That doesn't mean you have
53:47
Speaker 5: to be best friends or have the same beliefs, right,
53:49
Speaker 5: Like that's the piece in most organizations, like you have
53:52
Speaker 5: a common goal that you're working towards, and even in education,
53:55
Speaker 5: I mean you think that, you know, I mean, I
53:57
Speaker 5: have about sixty people that work for me, and they're
54:00
Speaker 5: work I shouldn't work with me and Sarah, and you know,
54:06
Speaker 5: we have common goals and common things we're trying to
54:10
Speaker 5: accomplish and we're also human and don't always get along
54:14
Speaker 5: well and have different beliefs on things. But it's like,
54:17
Speaker 5: how do you do that in a healthy way where
54:20
Speaker 5: that level of deep respect and connection is there? And
54:23
Speaker 5: I think that part of the work that he's doing
54:26
Speaker 5: is equally as exciting as the work on kids, because
54:30
Speaker 5: adults need this kind of thing too, Like adults don't
54:33
Speaker 5: always you know, feel.
54:35
Speaker 3: Seen and heard and accepted and listen to and valued.
54:39
Speaker 5: And I mean that that's what everybody really wants at
54:45
Speaker 5: the core, I think, is to feel that level of
54:48
Speaker 5: love acceptance and you know, even if we don't agree,
54:52
Speaker 5: can we listen to each other? And you know, it
54:55
Speaker 5: doesn't always result in a perspective shift, but at least
54:59
Speaker 5: the willingness that con it or somebody else's perspective is
55:02
Speaker 5: there's power in.
55:03
Speaker 2: That a lot, a lot. Man. It's like, you know
55:07
Speaker 2: what I've said to Tom, I'm like, man, all you
55:10
Speaker 2: need is a cell phone to witness the level of
55:17
Speaker 2: division that we've got going on right here on Main Street,
55:24
Speaker 2: right here in our state and in our country, and
55:27
Speaker 2: frankly in the world. It's very easy to be divided.
55:34
Speaker 2: Being connected is takes real effort. It takes a different mindset,
55:41
Speaker 2: and it takes work, like every day daily work, whether
55:45
Speaker 2: you're in school, whether you're at a job, no matter
55:49
Speaker 2: where you are.
55:50
Speaker 5: I agree, And this happens even in education too, like
55:54
Speaker 5: things that become so dichotomous.
55:56
Speaker 3: It's either like this or that. Yeah, like it's this
55:58
Speaker 3: or it's this.
55:59
Speaker 5: And if I believe this and you believe this, then
56:03
Speaker 5: your belief in this is somehow making me wrong, right,
56:07
Speaker 5: And so then there's the defensiveness that comes in, like
56:10
Speaker 5: you believe this and I believe this, and we could
56:13
Speaker 5: both believe those things, agree that we're both human people
56:17
Speaker 5: that have the right to believe those things, or maybe
56:21
Speaker 5: there's some middle ground that's like all right, well maybe
56:23
Speaker 5: I'm not as right as I thought I was, But
56:27
Speaker 5: I think that division, like you said, is just prevalent,
56:29
Speaker 5: and people feel like they need to pick a side.
56:31
Speaker 2: You know, it's and our egos are right in the front, man.
56:35
Speaker 2: It's like we need to just lose them a little bit.
56:38
Speaker 5: A lot of it, just like I mean, you know,
56:44
Speaker 5: and what is the places where your ego is healthy
56:48
Speaker 5: and drives you to be something better and you know,
56:52
Speaker 5: maybe to be a top tier athlete or if that's
56:53
Speaker 5: what you want to be or the best in your
56:55
Speaker 5: profession or whatever. But then where does it get in
56:57
Speaker 5: the way and then cause you to do things that
56:59
Speaker 5: are character They're not based out of love or based
57:03
Speaker 5: out empathy for others.
57:04
Speaker 2: Or what do you say? It's a principle of a
57:08
Speaker 2: primary school right here in Vermont Waterbury, the Brookside Primary.
57:13
Speaker 2: What do you say to other principles? Superintendents, teachers, parents
57:23
Speaker 2: who don't yet have Sweetheart Sin Heroes in their school.
57:31
Speaker 5: I would say, do what you can to bring them
57:34
Speaker 5: in and let the message, let them share their message.
57:39
Speaker 3: With your community, and.
57:43
Speaker 5: I think you'll be surprised at how it lands and
57:46
Speaker 5: the positive impacts.
57:47
Speaker 3: That it has.
57:50
Speaker 2: I'm putting the link up right now sweetheartsinheroes dot Com.
57:54
Speaker 2: That's where it all begins right there.
57:57
Speaker 3: And they're very responsive.
57:58
Speaker 5: They'll reach out to you, that will work with you
58:01
Speaker 5: based on what your your needs are. And they're really
58:05
Speaker 5: trying to spread their message far and wide. And so
58:07
Speaker 5: you know I mentioned the sponsorship with Cody Cody Chevrolet.
58:11
Speaker 5: They're actively working to be able to bring the message
58:15
Speaker 5: and not have the price be a barrier. Yes, right,
58:18
Speaker 5: because I mean they travel all over. There's obviously cost.
58:20
Speaker 2: Involvement doing stuff like this hotel.
58:23
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and so they do they do what they
58:26
Speaker 5: cand of mitigate that so that they can get the
58:29
Speaker 5: message out there. They're their goals to get the message
58:31
Speaker 5: out there, and they've done a really great job.
58:33
Speaker 3: With that over the years.
58:36
Speaker 2: Thanks for coming in here, Chris, Yeah, thanks a lot
58:38
Speaker 2: for the opportunity again, man, let's do it. Welcome to
58:41
Speaker 2: the wonderful world of podcasting.
58:44
Speaker 3: Man, this is my first time as a on a
58:47
Speaker 3: podcast at all, so I feel good.
58:49
Speaker 2: You didn't even know. I didn't even know.
58:51
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I could do it.
58:54
Speaker 2: Thanks man, absolute pleasure. I hope to get over to
58:57
Speaker 2: Brookside one of these days when when Tom and reckor
59:00
Speaker 2: there and get a chance to see firsthand with my
59:03
Speaker 2: own eyes the great things that they're bringing to your
59:06
Speaker 2: spir Thanks man, appreciate all right.
1:00:00
Speaker 1: Dying