Latest / HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN® / Forgive, Love, Begin Again: When Boundaries Meet Grace Part II

Transcript

Forgive, Love, Begin Again: When Boundaries Meet Grace Part II · HAVE FAITH LET IT BEGIN®

• 0:00
  Hey, Have Faith family. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share the podcast with your friends.
• 0:06
  Visit our website, HaveFaithLetItBegin.com.
• 0:09
  We would love to hear your feedback.
• 1:06
  Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the live podcast. That's right.
• 1:10
  It's high faith. Let it begin.
• 1:12
  My name is Angel, and it's so amazing to be with you each and every morning,
• 1:17
  and I'm so grateful to be with you on every platform this morning.
• 1:21
  We're doing another simulcast live here. Good morning, D. Welcome in.
• 1:25
  We're doing another live simulcast on our platform, and I'm just welcoming each
• 1:30
  and every one of you to this forgiveness series that I've just upgraded up into,
• 1:34
  I figured we're going to go into a more deeper conversation.
• 1:37
  And I'd like to welcome each and every one of you.
• 1:39
  Let me see if I can make D, I don't think I've ever had a chance.
• 1:43
  One second, D. I'm going to make you a moderator. There you go,
• 1:48
  darling. You got privileges now. Thank you so much. I'm putting you in charge.
• 1:52
  Okay, so here's what we're going to do.
• 1:55
  I want to talk to you about part two. It's called Love, Begin Again.
• 1:59
  So forgive, love, begin again. That's where we're going to go.
• 2:03
  And that feels very half-faith letter begin-ish, right? Because we can keep
• 2:07
  this under eight minutes, and we'll do everything we can to make it happen.
• 2:11
  So with that being said, let's start with this. We talked about giving people
• 2:16
  grace and talking one more step toward letting go of the anger we've been carrying.
• 2:24
  And, but after that message, I started thinking, there's another side to this
• 2:30
  conversation because somebody listening probably said, Angel, that's great.
• 2:37
  Wait, I forgave them, but then.
• 2:42
  They did it again. So what do you do? You forgive somebody and they do it again to you. Now what?
• 2:50
  You say, now what? Okay. Well, do I forgive them again? Do I walk away this time?
• 2:55
  Do I set boundaries? And here's a harder question that I thought about.
• 3:01
  Can I love someone and still decide that I need some distance from them.
• 3:09
  So today, let's talk about that.
• 3:12
  I think sometimes we confess forgiveness.
• 3:17
  Well, not confess. We confuse forgiveness with trust.
• 3:24
  Yes, they're connected, but they're not identical.
• 3:28
  Forgiveness can be something I choose to work toward within my own heart.
• 3:33
  Trust involves both of us. That's the key. And if you break my trust...
• 3:41
  I can forgive you. But rebuilding that trust may require time.
• 3:47
  It may require changed behavior. It may require honesty.
• 3:51
  It may require accountability. And sometimes the relationship may never return
• 3:56
  to exactly what it was before. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean forgiveness failed.
• 4:01
  It means something happened and healing takes time.
• 4:05
  Think about a physical wound. You don't cut your hand today and wake up tomorrow
• 4:10
  asking, Well, why isn't it that this is completely healed yet?
• 4:15
  Why is it still hurting? Well, you gave it time.
• 4:18
  You protected it. You took care of it.
• 4:21
  Our hearts sometimes are the same. Our hearts sometimes need that same patience.
• 4:28
  And I tell you, you can love someone and have boundaries. Good morning.
• 4:33
  This is something I think Christians and all people of religion and all people
• 4:37
  that don't even follow religion, can relate to because we sometimes struggle with this.
• 4:43
  We're told to love. We're told to forgive. We're told to show grace.
• 4:48
  And absolutely, we should.
• 4:51
  But loving someone doesn't mean loving them or allowing them to repeatedly mistreat you.
• 4:59
  Doesn't work that way. You can love somebody and say, I can't participate.
• 5:04
  I can't participate in this anymore.
• 5:06
  You can forgive somebody and say, I need space. You can pray for somebody and
• 5:12
  not invite them back into the exact same position they had in your life.
• 5:19
  Boundaries don't necessarily mean I hate you.
• 5:23
  Okay. Sometimes boundaries mean I love you, but I also recognize that something needs to change.
• 5:32
  And sometimes that change needs to start within us.
• 5:36
  And here's the uncomfortable part of this whole podcast episode today because
• 5:41
  it's really easy to listen to an episode about forgiveness and immediately think
• 5:47
  about the person who hurt us,
• 5:50
  but let's flip it around what if the person somebody else is trying to forgive,
• 5:58
  that's tough, right? I'm thinking about it as I say it. What if we are the person?
• 6:03
  Let's do it that way. Yeah, let's change it around. What if we're the person,
• 6:07
  somebody else is trying to forgive? Ouch.
• 6:10
  I know. Nobody wanted that part of this episode, right? Nobody wanted me to write that.
• 6:16
  But every one of us has made mistakes. I've made mistakes. Oh my God,
• 6:21
  too many that I can't even tell you.
• 6:23
  I've said things I wish I could take back. I've hurt people.
• 6:27
  I have gotten things wrong, still do. And.
• 6:33
  If we're asking other people to take responsibility for the hurt they've caused
• 6:37
  us, we have to be willing to do the same. It goes hand in hand.
• 6:43
  Sometimes the prayer isn't, God help me, forgive them.
• 6:48
  Sometimes it's, God, show me where I need to ask for forgiveness.
• 6:54
  That's growth. Forgiveness isn't always a reunion.
• 6:58
  Forgiveness doesn't always end with two people becoming best friends.
• 7:03
  Sometimes reconciliation happens. And when it's healthy, honest,
• 7:08
  and genuine, that's beautiful.
• 7:11
  But sometimes forgiveness means you stop allowing bitterness to control your heart.
• 7:17
  But while we recognize that the relationship needs to look different,
• 7:24
  you can wish someone well without walking the same road with them.
• 7:30
  You can pray for somebody without reopening every door. Does that make sense?
• 7:36
  You can love someone as a child of God without giving them permission to continue hurting you.
• 7:43
  Today's just one more step. So here's today's challenge for every one of you today.
• 7:48
  Before you think about the person you need to forgive, I want you to ask yourself something.
• 7:54
  Ask yourself, is there somebody who needs an apology from me?
• 7:59
  Maybe there's a conversation that needs to happen.
• 8:03
  Maybe there's a phone call you've been avoiding. Maybe it's simply, I'm sorry.
• 8:10
  Not, I'm sorry, but that's not an apology.
• 8:14
  Just, I'm sorry. I hurt you and I was wrong.
• 8:19
  And if the person who's been hurt, maybe your one more step isn't reconciliation today.
• 8:28
  Maybe it's simply praying. God help me.
• 8:32
  Heal without becoming bitter. That's pretty powerful. It's a powerful step.
• 8:39
  Can you do that? Let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us even when we get things wrong.
• 8:45
  Teach us how to forgive without losing ourselves. Teach us how to create healthy
• 8:51
  boundaries without allowing hatred to enter our hearts.
• 8:55
  For the person who has been hurt repeatedly, I was watching two cameras here.
• 9:02
  Give them wisdom, strength, and peace.
• 9:06
  For relationships that can be restored, help rebuild them through honesty,
• 9:12
  accountability, and genuine change.
• 9:15
  And for relationships that need distance, help us walk away without carrying hatred within us.
• 9:22
  But Father, also turn to the.
• 9:25
  Also turn to the mirror toward us. Show us that we have caused hurt.
• 9:31
  Give us the humility to apologize. Give us the courage to admit when we're wrong.
• 9:37
  And give us the strength to become better, not just expect better from everyone else.
• 9:44
  Help us to forgive. Help us to heal. Help us to love one another.
• 9:49
  Help us to help us take just one more step.
• 9:54
  We pray that unto you. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. So remember this.
• 9:58
  Let me close this with this one out.
• 9:59
  Forgiveness does not always mean going back.
• 10:03
  Sometimes forgiveness means moving forward.
• 10:05
  Sometimes forgiveness means that without carrying the anger with you,
• 10:11
  and maybe that's one, maybe that's your one more step today.
• 10:17
  And I hope you enjoy the message. I'm Angel Santana, and this is Have Faith, Let It Begin.
• 10:24
  It's about real people, real stories, real faith because a little faith can change your entire day.
• 10:32
  Never forget, have faith, let it begin.
• 10:36
  Tomorrow, we return with part three.
• 10:41
  Part three, get ready for it. Part three is gonna be interesting.
• 10:46
  Think about that. All right, as I close out the podcast on the other platform,
• 10:50
  God bless you. God be with you.