Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Prank 13 Oct 2026

Transcript

Prank 13 Oct 2026 · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, let's go! KFM Mornings with Darren, Sherlyn, Sibs and you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Alex Warren with Bloodline here on KFM Mornings. Well, you know,
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: the telemarketers, did you see the news story about the
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: telemarketers where it says that there's really nothing legislation can
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: do now?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: There's just these loopholes that keep circumventing the legislation where...
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Try this, boom, loophole, boom, there.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: As you work. That puppy act can only do so much, eh?
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: 20 times a day, you can ring as much as
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: you like. No. Yeah, so it's part of my daily
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: routine now, fielding telemarketer calls.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Good luck.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: And yesterday, well, you'll hear. You know I always do
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: my best to get them to put the phone down
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: on me. Yeah.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Love your work.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Which if you don't know, that's like a rule in telemarketing.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: You never put the phone down on a potential customer.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: So that's my goal. It's coming up after the break. Stop.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Stop what you're doing.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous prank.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Call from Darren Wackhead Simpson. Exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, have you found this with telemarketers? That now when you,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: so I get a call and it'll come up and
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: it'll say, what do they call it? Suspect caller or
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: spam or something. And then you click block and they
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: immediately call back straight away.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: They're quick like that.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: But it just, the same number rings. So even your
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: blocking mechanism doesn't work anymore. Have you found that?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: And even if you're able to successfully block that initial number,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Another number will call with just one number difference. So
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: they're just persistent with it.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Same person, people, organization. Now remember, I was once a telemarketer, right?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I was a telemarketer when I lived in the UK.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: And so you have your target for the day. They
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: will say, okay, you need to make three sales, four sales,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: five sales, whatever the target is.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, so it's not based on number of phone calls.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: No, it's number of closures.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Actually getting people to sign.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Bird in the hands, as they call it, right?
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I know, that's a lot of pressure.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we used to have this guy that would
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: be at the start. So he would look down on this, like, forecourt,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: and there was about 150 of us there. And he
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: would look down on us, and he would give us
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: a speech every day. It was like... Like we were
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: going to war.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: And were you inspired after the speeches?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: No, never. We were all like, shut up, man. I'm
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: going to... You know what? I just need to get
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: through to the first lunch break, you know?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Oh, Wolf of Wall Street, that telemarketer edition.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: You know what, Sibs? It was that exact vibe. That exact, exact,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: exact vibe.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Were you competitive with each other? Or were you all
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: kind of in solidarity in the trenches together?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Well, look, there was no incentive. Like... So if you
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: had to get three a day and you got five,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: there was no more money for you.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: It just meant you remained employed. Wow. Because the more
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: you don't hit your target, then it's like, no, you're
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: not good at this job. Okay. But this lady is very,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: very sweet. They've called me. Very, very sweet. You can
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: tell she's like right at the beginning part, following the
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: script and can't stray. Okay. But I have some fun
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: with her. Yes. No, this is his PA speaking. So
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: what's it in connection with? Oh, okay. Just hold on.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: I'll put you on to him now. Hello, how can
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: I help you? Is this Alan Simpson? Yes, speaking.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, hold on. Take a deep breath in between sentences. Yeah,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: and just have a pause in between every sentence.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, okay.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on. You're talking way too fast. Can
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: you just pause a little bit longer?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Okay. One, two, three, go. Okay, now breathe. Okay, no, no, breathe.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: And go. Cool, no problem.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: So is this one. I had a nose job.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I had reconstructive surgery.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I had a very big nose and they cut it down. Yeah,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: it's beautiful.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I'm unemployed.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have an assistant, but you're not working.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Cheeky.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I do have a stand at the flea market
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: on Sundays where I sell things made out of wood,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: but it's not going so well. Oh, it's not going
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: so well. No. I make like these giraffes and these zebras,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and I mean like last weekend I only sold one. Yep. Okay.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Do you want to buy one?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Not now, but maybe after we're finished talking, I'll buy
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: something from you.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Because do you need to buy any Christmas gifts or anything? No,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: no birthdays, and Christmas is not going to be, yeah.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I'll give you three giraffes and one zebra for the
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: price of two giraffes. Okay, let's talk about this cover first,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: and then we'll talk about me buying from you. Okay. Well,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: that means I have to sell four giraffes. You see,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: because my profit on a giraffe is 12,50. Okay. Am
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I right? Well, it all depends if the business booms
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: with the giraffes. Okay, Mr.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Giraffe, thank you for your time. You're going to need
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to end from $ 2, 000 a month.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Tell me something, while I've got you on the line,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: do you have any cover for chronic diarrhea? Because I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: get that quite often, and if I could get cover
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: for that, I'd really be interested.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: No, no, we don't have.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Do you have cover for rashes? Because I got this
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: rash as well. And I'd really like to... You know what, Mr. Donovan? Mr.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Mallon? What's your name?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Tyler Simpson?
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I need to call some few people.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: So I'd like to say thank you for your time. No,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes, yes.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Cover for me right now, not interested. But if you've
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: got cover for hammertoe... For what? For....
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: For.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: For hammertoe. No, we don't have them. Okay, let's get
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: back to business. Do you want to buy a giraffe? Oh, no. No. Okay,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: thank you for that, sir.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Bye. Okay. Wow.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: She was sassy.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: You met your match, absolutely.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: She was sweet but sassy as well, eh?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Unemployed but you have an assistant.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Mr. Giraffe. Okay.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: You should have given her the sale just on principle,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: just for the vibes.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Telemarketers, you know my number. I'm waiting for you. It's
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Tao Cruz with Dynamite here on KFM Mornings.