Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #112: Mistakes and Anxiety

Transcript

Happy Hour #112: Mistakes and Anxiety · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to Stephan
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Never told you a protection of iHeartRadio, and welcome to
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: another edition of halfy Hour. As always, we are not
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: sponsored by anything we mention currently which I am going
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: to talk about. Actually, this episode's kind of a grab
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: bag and it's a last minute one. I had a
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: whole other thing planned, but then something happened I'm going
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: to talk about. And we're talking more about panic career notifications.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So which we you and I were just discussing. So
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I think you're ready, Samantha. So what are you sitting on, Samantha?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Today?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I decided I can treat myself to a Seltzer drink.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I won't name the company, and they have some tropical
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: flavors and it's a passion food and I like it.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty thinking about that. But this is nice. This
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: is I wouldn't drink it all the time, but I'm like, yeah, okay,
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I'm good with this.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: What about you?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Good? The weather is nice for that one?
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah? You drinking red wine?
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm drinking red wine. I'm drinking red wine with
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: that nothing. Well, it is it's my go to it's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: my favorite, all right. So Okay, a couple of things.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: What we are talking about today is stress that I've
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: really has really amped up for me around notifications, and
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: there's a couple of reasons for it. I do want
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to explain how our ads work really quickly, and I
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: swear this will make sense. But the reason why we
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: say at the top, like we're not currently sponsored by
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: this brand is we have something called dynamic ads, So
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: that means they change, like essentially, whatever are you here
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: in this episode, if you listen a couple months later,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: it won't be the same ad. That's all that that means.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Another thing I want to talk about is podcasting is
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: interesting in that you can't like if you and I
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: are researching an article, sometimes at the bottom of it we'll
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: say this has been updated to correct this mistake. You
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: can't do that in podcasting, at least not with the
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: platform we use. You can update the podcast, but if
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: people have already downloaded it, it's too late, like it's
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: already there exactly exactly. So what happened to me, Samith,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: It was around I had a very stressful day Friday,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: and you know why, like my power had gone out.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I thought I lost all these files. I was stressed.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I was doing all this stuff. Yeah, four thirty in
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the morning, I woke up as if like just sat
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: up gasping wide away and thought, oh my god, I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: have made this huge mistake and I couldn't calm down.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I was freaking out about it. I emailed poor Christina
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: and was like, what am I gonna do? And I said,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. So we can't ignore this, but I
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: just have to feel like I've done something God, And
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: this was all like it wasn't that big of a deal,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: and that the other thing is like this landscape kind
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: of changes, right, like sometimes information changes, right. But I
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: talked about this at the beginning of the pandemic. I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: have this real panic and fear around getting things wrong
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: and it just being like a thing I can't fix.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: And I was going back and forth like what do
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I do. And this was before I even knew I'd
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: really made a mistake. I was just like thinking it
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe that I had, and I was just panic.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I was like, maybe I can send out a note.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: What about social media or whatever? All the social media
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I was going all over the place. My whole weekend
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: feels like a blur of me trying not to have
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: a panic attack, Like, oh no, it was really intense.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: And I noticed that I have had a lot of
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: anxiety lately around notifications. So uh, like every time an
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: email there's a little red dot that pops up that
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: lets you know you've got a new email, and every
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: time one would pop up, it would be like the
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: worst surge of panic. And I've always felt that with
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: social media because in my opinion, I feel like a
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: lot of times I'm just so worried that I've gotten
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: something wrong that if I'm getting if I who's not
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: on social media very often am getting a notification because
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I've done something wrong. Oh, I think that too, exactly.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And I wanted to ask you about that in a
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: second because we were just talking about it, and like
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: we said that you listeners have been so kind and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: even when you're like calling in and tell is you know, hey,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: here's this or this, it's just like that fear. And
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I think that that is something we've talked about when
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: it comes to social media and how it does silence people.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I will say, in this case, it's also me just
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: being anxious, So I don't want to put that on
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: anyone else. But as I've also said, I have started
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: posting fan fiction, so now I'm getting a lot more
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: notifications than I'm used to reading, and reviews and what's
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: called kudos, which are just like, hey, good job. But
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I and I could turn this off. This is all me,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: But so far they've been so good. So it's always
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: like the spike of fear and then oh it's good.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: But I'm thinking maybe I should turn off the vacations
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: because I think it. I think it got me so
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: amped up. I don't know, it was. It was wild.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: The whole weekend felt like a haze, and I just
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: felt like I'd done the worst thing imaginable and I
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: had no proof of it. No one had said anything,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: nothing had happened. I don't know. But you and I
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: were just talking about because you have recently guested on
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: some other podcasts.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so yes, if you are interested. But you know,
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: one of those things where I discourage people from things,
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I still do discourage people from listening to this podcast,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: actually people that I know, because I feel like I'm
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: not great at it. So again my performance anxiety in general,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: it's like, Okay, if I'm not the best, then don't
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: don't listen to me.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Although it is my job. But yeah, I'm on.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Margaret Kiljoy, who was a friend of the show, has
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: been on the show before. She has a podcast called
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I've been on it before.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I was actually on their inaugural show. We talked about
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: the Jaint Collective.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: But I'm on her show.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: I don't know when that's coming out. You go in
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: without knowing the topics and you just kind of react
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: to whatever we're talking about historical figures, and that makes
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: me nervous in itself. I know, that makes you really
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: nervous because it panic of all what's going to happen,
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: and because you don't want to sound completely ignorant to
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: the subject, and then the performance anxiety of like I
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: need to be on and I need to be smart
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: and I need to prove myself. And then they're like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: why I don't know anything about these not everyone, No
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: one's like an actual professional on all of these people
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: all of the time. So that but that level still
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: like I'm afraid that I've said something wrong. I've been
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: on Behind the Bastards with Robert Evans, and he is
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: an amazing journalist that does a lot of deep dives
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: into like really bad people, and so you like when
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: you come into a subject and their super producer, Sophie,
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: who is amazing, She tries to, I think, align the
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: people to the topic in order to have some type
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: of conversation. The last one, I did not know what
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: was happening because it was about Rent.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what what what?
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: But like trying to come in and sound smart and
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: also match the intelligence and attitude and energy of that host,
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: it's really hard. I just recorded and I think it's
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: just released The Daily Zeitgeist, which is one of those
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: comedy podcasts with two really great comedians and writers that
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: spit well, very quickly about current affairs, and I really
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: hate current affairs, and they love talking about the right
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: and how ridiculous they are. I purposely avoid that because
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: that kind of energy drains me, and I'm like, I
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: don't want any part of this.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I have to deal with this with my family. I
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: don't want this. So I came into the show like just.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Completely not knowing what was going to happen, a lot
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: more people than I expected, because what it's me and
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: you recording. Typically at the most me you and Christina, me,
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: you and a guest like there's not that many, so.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Having like there was like four people three other people on,
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I was like, what is going on?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: It just felt like I was with an audience and
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: we've talked about this before. I don't know if we
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: talked about on the show. We are not right live
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: in the sense like we still have to prepare.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, like they're comedians. That's not our yeah exactly.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: We can be funny once we've like prepared and with
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: each other, but it's not like a.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Right yeah, and especially when it's in context to like
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: one liners to current affairs. I have self deprecating humors,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: so we're not talking about how bad I am.
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: I'm not funny.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I bet you you feel this way too. And this
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: is part of like the heart of what I'm trying
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: to get down to is like I feel like as
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: hosts of an intersectional feminist podcast, I can't just make
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: it off the cuff from make sure that it's not
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: which is good. Like I don't want to say anything
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: that's right, but I can't just say so. I have
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: to think about it, make sure like I'm not missing something,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying something offensive. I don't want to say.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: We are held to higher standards, but we kind of are.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: That's not I don't think that's not like we're held
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: to higher standards not because we're better, but because the
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: people who expect things from us also have higher standards.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: Our audience is very smart and intelligent, and I have
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: high ethics.
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, and we'd love you, like again, you're so kind,
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: Like every message we get so kind, don't We are
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: always saying like these things that that doesn't mean, don't
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: interact with us.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: But the thing about this is like when I talk
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: about the other podcast and being on that, yeah, I'm
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: constantly having to be aware of that conversation and they
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: do things in jest that is like I think, I
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: actually I don't know who I'm called out, but I
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: was like, you can't do that. That's that's that's not okay,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Like I actually he called it. I don't know who
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: it was, but it was like another host of something
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I can't even remember, because I'm like, that's not actually
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: that's inappropriate. And it's like trying to tell them why
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: because people are so used to old school sayings or phrases.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: You know, we talk about that, We talk about being
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: very aware of trying to say not say guys, And
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: I still have a problem with that sometimes and so
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I stick to my very country y'all because I love
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: that making sure that we are on top of not
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: misgendering anybody or dead naming anybody. That's something that's so
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: important to us. But yeah, that we're being inclusive. I
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: got called out on Behind the Bastards the first time
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I was on, not necessarily because we said any something wrong,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: but I guess we never said the word ablest, but
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: we were like dancing all around it. And so a
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: little listener sent a tweet that said, you can say
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: the word ablest. That's exactly what it is. Like it
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: was chastising at us, like we were, yeah, you're career.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: That it is able us you in this level like
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: it was that conversation.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: But being called out immediately, like they came after us,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: I was like, damn, it's not even my show and
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: they give more allowance to his show. But yeah, and
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: then seeing those notifications, Uh, I actually had the producer
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: the first time I was on Behind the Bastards that
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: the other show tell me, hey, you're about to get
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: flooded with notifications because they they love social media, they
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: love it and and she was right, Like immediately, I
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: got hundreds of notices. I was like, what is happening.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: It was not necessarily because they loved me. They just
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: wanted to comment on the subject, and I was like wow.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: And every time I was like waiting for someone to say,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: and there was one or two were like I hate er,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: don't have her on?
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got a and we've
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: talked about this, I got I wasn't even on there,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: and I got dinged.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I actually told Sophie that story.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: It was pretty hilarious. To be honest, I was really outraged,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: but it was pretty funny.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like what the hell? No, But like that's the
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: thing is it is.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: It's after I left one of the episodes that I
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: did guessing there was nothing wrong. The hosts were great,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: They're all very kind. I went down a spiral of
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: anxiety to the point that I had to take one
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: of my anti anxiety meds that I rarely take because
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: it's super strong and go to bed because it hit
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: me in such a way that I felt overwhelmed. I
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: wasn't going into like self harming behavior, but it felt
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: so dark and dooming that I was like I have
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: to go to sleep. I have to go to sleep
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: right now, or if I'm living in this feeling of
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: complete failure, I might not be able to pick myself
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: off the ground type of a moment. And yeah, it
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: had nothing to do with them, had nothing to do
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: with the episode. I got people loving me, saying things
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: about how much they liked me.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: All these things.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: We had listeners come over from those shows, so there
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: was nothing in that. But because of the things that
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: I thought I did wrong, which were only in my head,
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: like I might have said something inappropriately, I might have missed,
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: you know, misnamed something. It wasn't a big deal, but
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: the way I felt felt like I failed the show.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: You myself, like it was so.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: Overwhelming that I had to immediately, but that that is
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: is debilitating.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: It was and I was so bummed because I had
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: so many things to do. It was not well timed.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Inconvenient, inconvenient, it was inconvenient.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I was trying so hard to not
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: like text everybody I knew and be like, oh my god,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: calm me down. But I think it also has to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: do with we do have this book coming out, which
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I am very proud of, but It's also like the
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: feminist icons that we talked about in it, even being
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: mentioned in like the same sentence as them makes me
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: very anxious.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Calling in a feminist book make me so nervous. And
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: I think we address that in our forward and afterwards.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, No, we definitely were like.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Because because there's so many things that we're still learning,
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: and honestly, that's probably the better way to be than
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: to say that we are the experts in something. Yeah,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: because yeah, there's an expectation that you're going to know
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: everything in history when you're like, oh, I didn't know this,
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: and you're learning new things as well. And the expectation
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: is because we have this podcast and that this is
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: supposed to be our strength and this is supposed to
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: be our only job, not our specialty. Like we we
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: came into this and loving it, but we're learning, like.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: The constant amount of research.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: I was just thinking about this, like, oh my god,
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: I think I'm working doing more work for this podcast
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: than I was from my social work job.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot, and I think, you know, I do.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I love this job and we're very lucky that we
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: could to work from home and all of this stuff
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and I love the research, but it is like I
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: was thinking about that too. I was just telling you,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've had so many weekends lately where
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I've had to cancel things because I had to work,
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: and I had to really think about that because I
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: was like, you know, there are people that I want
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: to be with and hang out with, and instead I'm
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: choosing to do this thing, which I do love. But
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: a part of it is that I feel like I
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: have to make sure there are no mistakes and also
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that it's good whatever it is that to justify that
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I'm even here at all doing this.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: This is where you and I differ. I don't care
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: if they're mistakes. I just keep going.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: As long as it's not problematic.
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, moving on.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I Oh my god.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I mean we have very different styles, and I'm the
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: one that waits last minute but stays up all night
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: to get it done. And I'm like, hey, give me
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: thirty more minutes, thirty more minutes. Christina loves loves it.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I'm sure. Sorry.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Christina has been become a bit of a game with
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: me where I'm like, gonna come to the time, are
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: we gonna.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Always make sure she's not she's eaten really early and
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: then be like we're gonna do it later.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we joke that's the curse the curves.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, there's definitely a lot to being
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: a face to something and I think that's the that's
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: the that's the real conversation for me being seen, which
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: again there's this level of racist stereotype that really leaned
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: into as a kid being a model minority that means
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: to be invisible and blend in so to be seen
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: and something that I am passionate about. I do want
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: to talk about this. I do love talking about this.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Am I so lazy that I would do this on
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: my own? Like?
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Am I?
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm so productive that I would do.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: This outside the podcast. Now, I probably would google it,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: move on.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: But that definitely would be looking at twenty thousand articles
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: and scholarly papers. But like it is, it's the being seen,
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: being known. And then because we grew up in an
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: era of you should know what's wrong with you, you can't
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: make mistakes, and if you make mistakes, you're less liked,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: less loved, and your value goes down.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: So it's a lot of that.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: It is. I don't want it to sound like, we
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: don't like if we make a mistake, this's not like
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: the goal. We obviously try not to, but I don't
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: think it's super helpful to spend an entire weekend right
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: just like so stressed about it. But one of the
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: things was I was like, how I can't correct it
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: because there was like if what do I do.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: In the podcast? Recently?
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: I actually said on the podcast and I don't know
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: because I won't go back and listen to it myself.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I said, hey, cut this, and they're the type of
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: podcast that doesn't cut things, so there's a likelihood I
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: made the mistake and said that and then redid it
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: and they just left the entire thing and they're like,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: damn it.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yep, yep, I know joke. There was a podcast I
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: guessed it on where I said something that's not true,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: and I'm not sure. I think I was just nervous
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: and I just said it. It's not like a huge
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: lie or anything. It's not It was about me, but
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: it wasn't true, and they didn't. Normally you and I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: give people the option to listen to it and cut
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: it out.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: We're very different.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: We I didn't get that option. So now it's out there,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and I I am so stressed about it, even though
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: again it wasn't like a huge thing. I don't know why,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: but I just it's out there on the internet, and
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: now people are gonna think I'm a liar and they
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: won't believe anything that I say, which.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Is definitely not true.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: And most people probably don't know what you're talking about
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: even when they're listening to that podcast.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: No, it's like really fier, but my friends definitely knew
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: when they listened to it. That's not true.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Again, being like sharing yourself and being vulnerable in this
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: way is a whole different thing. And especially when we're
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: on the standard that we do diligent research, we are
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: inclusive and we are aware of the environment today, and
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: therefore we definitely want to be as kind and as accepting,
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: as knowledgeable about these things. Whereas those podcasts they don't care,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: and they thrive on misinformation and they thrive on controversy,
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Like they have a lot more freedom in that.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: We don't want to be that.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong, but there's this level of intensity
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: I feel like, and again like for ourselves, we hold
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: the standard of perfection that is unrealistic. But because we
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: want to be the better podcasters, the better person who
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: brings that information the best we can that can be
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: relayed and shared with those who might not know, might
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: not understand.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, and I think too. We just have a
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: lot of contents and sometimes sometimes it's like I don't
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: want to give myself a free pass. But sometimes you're
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: having a bad day as a human being that exists
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: and you made a mistake, yeah, or you just weren't
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: feeling it that day, and it sucks because you want
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: to be you want to maintain those high standards, but
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I do think it's not possible all the time. Again, really, listeners,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you're just going on a journey of like my anxiety weekend.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: This none of you. I love all of you. Please
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: don't take this as don't interact. But I think I
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: just got to make some changes about when I get notifications.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I think I got to set up some.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Bad And there's also the because again I do that too.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: But I love the messages and I try to respond
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: and we try to do our best. Sorry about the
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: main account. We don't always respond because that's not ours
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: to handle anymore. Thank goodness, we're very grateful for our
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: producers and we love you, but I get you, like
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I don't especially what it's like a criticism because you
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: really want to be able to correct it very quickly.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: And if they're legit, they're legit.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: If you're complaining because you feel attacked because of something
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: that I feel, or it's something that I have experienced
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: as an Asian woman, that's on you and I'm not
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: ever gonna.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Apologize for that.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: But like for you Andie, you also jump at all
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: the things, all the things, Like I'm surprised you leave
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: the sound on to your phone because you jumped so hard.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had a pretty massive jump when a my
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: phone went off earlier today. Yeah, I'm just keyed up.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I'm keyed up all the time. That's something else I
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: need to work on. But also, like the reason I
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: bought up the like the ads thing and the correction
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: of the podcast thing is that this happens, I can't
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: bother Christina or super producer on the weekend. I did,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: but I'm not going to expect her to do anything
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: about it. That means like there's like, you know, two
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: days where people are downloading something and they're not going
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: to get if I tried to correct something which again
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not even sure I need to correct. No, then
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: it's too late, right, So it was just like the
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: timing was bad. Yeah, I think a lot of things
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: are coming together that I'm stressed about and I'm really
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: not good, Like I have my work email open on
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: the weekend, so I'm not good at.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: I have it on my phone.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: Oh, but you get way more emails than I do.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I'm very thankful to be on just one show and
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: then also only ask the guest every now and again,
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: and you're like being asked the right things and I'm like,
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: oh god, no, what is that? And travel for things,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I do want to travel, but not really.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I've decided, like I want to travel without leaving the house.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Is that possible? But there's a lot on your plate.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: And that's the thing is like jobs like this. We're
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: very grateful for jobs like this. And it's quite funny
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: when I tell people about my job, and it's job,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: so a legit job, I promise, But because of the
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: creative aspect, you're always on. We're always on and for
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: you as double. So not only is it about intersectional
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: feminist which is being attacked on every level, right, now,
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: but also about food knowledge.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, yeah it is, and I do think we've
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: talked about that before and then I swear I'll wrap
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: up this panic session. But we have talked before about
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: how like like kind of what you were mentioning. But
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: women and marginalized people do have this because unfortunately they
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: are still not as much in our public eye. It's
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: kind of extra pressure of like, oh, I'm the I'm
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: the one in this space, right, I have this stuff
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: that is put on me. There's some there's a specific
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: term for it, where you're trying to disprove a bias.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: But so I do think a lot of people listening
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: can relate to this. I hope that you can't, but
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I bet that you can.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: We wish you didn't.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but that like drive to be perfect and
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: if you're not, then what good are you? Anyway? Right, Well,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I feel a lot better now, I'll tell you that.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: But I'm really glad.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry that it's okay. Yes, well, I'm gonna I'm
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: gonna put some boundaries in place.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Well, boundaries are beautiful.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Do it?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I will, I will. Well. Cheers to you, Samantha, cheers, yes,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: cheers to you listeners. We do love hearing from you.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I promise. If it sounds like we don't, we do.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: We actually really do.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: We actually really really do love.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: The kind wars.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: That's the biggest surprise. We're like, oh, yes, it's like.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: A warm digital hug. It's lovely when.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: You come in expecting the Wars and it's the nicest.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, it is lovely. So we really really appreciate
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: that you can email us those kind Where should you
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: decide to at Stuff Media, moms Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at momsa podcast, or
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok a stuff when I ever told you,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: uh you could. Also, we have a book, as we mentioned,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: you can pre order it. It's at stuff You should
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: read Books dot Com can find us on YouTube as well.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Thanks to our super producer Christina I'm so sorry I
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: bothered you on the weekend, and our executive producer Maya
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Yes.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening. Stephan never
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: told you the protection of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, you can check out the iHeartRadio app
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show.