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158. Push The Hard Button · The Shift Podcast

0:00
Welcome to the ship. Podcast.
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Where you get to hear life coaching tools that will help
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you make small or big shifts in your life, feel better doing it,
0:06
and learn to create the life you love with confidence.
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You will. Also, get to hear interviews
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with some of my clients who've utilized life coaching to help
0:13
them manage their mind and create really big things for
0:15
themselves. Come find out how you can be
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intentional about your thinking. Feel better everyday.
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And create anything you want in life and come join us inside.
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The Shift. Hey, you guys, welcome to
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episode 157 of the Shift podcast.
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I'm titling this one. Push the hard button.
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I wanted to just do a hodgepodge episode today.
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I have lots of thoughts that I've been thinking about as I've
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been thinking about you guys when I go on my morning walks
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and I kind of just like jot them down in my notes on my phone.
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I don't know how many of you guys do that, but these are the
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things that I put down over the last week as I've gone on my
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walks. And so I know hodgepodge is like
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dating myself and like an old person maybe word, but I would
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just went to lunch with a bunch of girlfriends and we were
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talking about how we use some of these outdated words or words
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that we make up. And that's that's just what came
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up for me right now. But I felt like usually I like
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to have a theme for my podcast episode or I like to like just
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jot down notes of themes of what I'm going to be talking about.
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But today I just have a little bit of everything.
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And I kind of felt like one person needs to hear this.
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I felt like this is maybe something that a lot of people
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don't talk about. And I felt like my content on my
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podcast episode this week needs to be a little bit of all of
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these things for some reason, just like my gut and my
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intuition is telling me someone needs to hear that.
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So I hope a piece of what I say today is helpful for you and
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helps you move forward. I want you guys to know that
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this podcast is for you to be able to tap into whenever you
2:04
need it. When you're feeling high
2:07
emotions, you're feeling down, or you want to get a little bit
2:10
of motivation. I hope that these episodes are
2:13
helpful for you to tap into a piece of feeling empowered
2:18
because that's really what they are about.
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And reach out to me, please. If you listen to this and you'd
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like to hear more about certain topics, I am going to be giving
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you a lot more of my thoughts. So I'm titling this push the
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hard button and forgive me as well.
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I have been sick the last couple days, so I'm a little stuffed
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up, but we're going to get through this.
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I don't know if you guys remember the gosh, I think it
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was a Staples commercial where you would, they'd be like here,
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push the easy button and there'd be this big red button and you'd
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push the easy button and everything would be organized or
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taken care of. And I've been thinking about
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that a lot lately. And I thought about that
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commercial a lot when my kids were really little is like, I
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just want to push the easy button and dinner to be made or
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the laundry to be done or the grocery shopping to be done.
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And I do believe that right now we are living in a time where
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people just want things to be easier, especially that we have
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chat and we can Google anything and we can find answers right
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away. I think we just live in a time
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where we want things to be easy. And I've been thinking about
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this a lot lately because I really believe growth, and you
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guys know this too, that growth happens in the hard moments.
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And I really believe the more opportunity we give ourselves to
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do the hard thing, the more we're going to grow in our
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capability and our capacity and in our confidence levels.
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And I just think it's our brains natural way of saying, hey, I
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want to, I want to do it easy. I, I, I don't want to do the
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hard thing And I, I, I hoped at what I want with this episode is
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to invite you to do the hard to be the person who steps up as a
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leader and asks for the heart and picks the hard route.
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Because this is where growth is going to happen.
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And if you can do one thing every day that feels
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uncomfortable or that doesn't feel like the easy route or that
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doesn't feel like you're pulling back, but where you have to lean
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in a little bit and put in, put on your big curl panties, like
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that's where the growth is going to happen.
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So I, I wanted to make an invite as you guys listen to this
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podcast episode to invite you to do the hard thing to the be the
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person who steps up and is the leader in the hard moments to
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choose the hard route. And I know this is something
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that I have been thinking about lately and something that I
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really instill in my kids is that it's, it's easy to do it
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like everybody else and it's easy to take the easy route.
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But I was having this conversation with my oldest the
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other day and we were just talking about integrity, like
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having integrity with yourself. When you say you're going to do
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something and then following through with it, that's
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integrity. Or when you tell someone that
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you're going to do something and you follow through with it,
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that's integrity. And so I was, I was really
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sharing with him to be an entrepreneur it, it takes, it
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does take a lot of risk and doing hard things is risky too.
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But I told him, what's what's even?
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We think risk is hard, but what's even harder than risk is
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regret. And I said regret is much harder
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to live with than just taking the risk.
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And so I hope that you get something out of this episode
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and you do the hard thing. And when you have the choice on
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a daily basis to sit back and relax and just watch TV, that
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you decide to do the hard thing or the uncomfortable thing.
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You get up, you go to the gym, you go on that run, you do that
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thing that you said that you were going to do.
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Because every little hard moment adds up to you really showing
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yourself and being in integrity with yourself and then growing
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your level of your standard and your capacity.
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And for me, this is super important because I want to be
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the person who can help other people do that too.
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And so I've created a lot of hard moments in my, in my life.
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And I was also thinking about, you know, being a flight nurse
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for seven years, that was extremely hard, but it gave me
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the most highest level of confidence.
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And I was thinking about why. And I'm going to share with you
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a couple reasons why in just a second.
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But it's because day in and day out, I did a really hard thing.
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I had lots of hard moments, made a lot of hard decisions.
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And with each time I did that, I grew my standard and my level of
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leveling up in who I was. And it gave me so much
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confidence in every aspect of my life.
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And I think a lot of confidence for me to go out there and take
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the risk of being an entrepreneur and retiring
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completely from nursing. I want to share with you guys.
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I was also telling my good friends as I, I went to lunch
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today with them. I feel like my, my life has been
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a little bit like a sad country song.
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You know, my died, my dog died last week.
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I we had to make the choice to put him down.
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And I was telling the shift group this past week that I went
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on my morning walk and there was this black dog and he doesn't
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look anything like my black dog, but I see him every morning.
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And I just broke down in tears and I just expressed like how
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sad I was and I loved my dog. I just didn't realize that I was
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attached to him as much as I was until we had to make the
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decision to put him down. And I just, I had I think 4
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coaching calls the next day and I cancelled them all because I
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was just like, I am extremely sad right now.
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And I just really let myself go to that emotion.
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I really let myself experience it.
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I really just gave myself what I needed in that moment and I'm so
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proud of that because now this week, I still am really sad and
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I have lots of moments of really, really missing him.
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But I know that I didn't push it down.
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And because I didn't push it down, I know that I really let
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myself process through that emotion.
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I know what sadness feels like for me and I know how to let
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myself allow it when I need it. And so I think that's really
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part of doing hard things too, is allowing yourself to
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experience really hard emotions and, and being willing to let
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them process through for however long that they need to be there.
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But what brought this up for me is I have a lot of life
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circumstances going on. I as as do all of you guys, the
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day after my twins had a big swim meet.
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And so we're really involved in their senior year.
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And then my son of two years came back early last Friday from
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a mission for medical reasons. And so I was telling my coach
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last week, there's a lot of things going on and I don't feel
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overwhelmed. And I told her my, my life.
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I, I think a lot of people would be thinking my life is happening
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to me, but I'm really thinking I'm happening to my life.
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And a couple things that I want to share with you because I know
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a lot of you guys might be struggling or there might be
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some big circumstances going on for you.
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And I hope that you can tap into the power of this podcast.
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And some of my thoughts is my predominant thought was I am
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built for this. I am the perfect person to be
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navigating this moment, not from a place of hustle, but from so
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much love and compassion for me to just like keep going and love
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that I get to experience all of these emotions right now.
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And one thing that I think has been so powerful and helping me
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through a lot of these things that went on in the past week is
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my coach, actually, Stacey Vaman, my business coach, has
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this thought. I am an asset.
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And I think that a lot. And I also think I'm an
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important part of my team. And so because I'm an important
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part of my team, I need to take care of myself.
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And so that day that my dog died and the next day I cancelled all
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my calls. And I'm not afraid to say
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because I'm an important part of my team, what do I need in this
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moment? Who do I need to ask for help?
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Maybe I need to give myself a little grace.
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Maybe I need to take a little nap.
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Maybe I need to take a walk. Maybe I need to take the day
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off, Whatever it is, because I'm an important part of my team.
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I need to ask myself what I need.
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And I need to be able to ask other people if I need something
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from them too. And so I think that's really
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important. And that's an added step that we
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forget to do is really asking for what we need because we are
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an asset and we are a leader or a very important part of the
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team. I am the leader of my family.
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I'm the leader of my kids. And just remembering that like I
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need to take care of myself and asking for what I need.
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Something that I always compare it to is like, and this is what
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I coach. This too is pro athletes.
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Like they take care of themselves because they're an
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asset to the team. They need to as much as they
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play hard on the days that they have to game day, they have to
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train really hard, they have to recover really hard and they
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have to have a really good diet and physical health.
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And so we have to remember because we are leaders of our
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teams, of our families, of our units, of our jobs, of our kids,
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of whatever it is, we have to take care of ourselves.
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And just asking, you know, myself, like, what do I need in
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this moment? I think is really helpful.
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And from moment to moment, what do I need?
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Another example that I wanted to give you that I felt like was so
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powerful, especially as a flight nurse is I worked in a near in a
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nearby city and also flew into the city I lived in.
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And I grew up in this community my whole life.
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So I knew a lot of the people in EMS and in the hospital systems.
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But sometimes we would land and the cruise would be like, oh,
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hey, I'm so glad it's you, Janessa.
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And I'm so glad it's so and so whoever my partner was in the
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team. And sometimes I would be like, I
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don't even know this person. I can't remember their name, you
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know, not recognize them. And I'd be taken back.
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And, and I thought about that a lot, a lot in moments as, as
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more people got to know me and, and, and I got to know them, I,
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I started to think like, what was I thinking that had them
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thinking that? Not in a way that I don't think
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we can at all control the way people think about us, but I was
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thinking, I really believe whatever I believe about myself,
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it's portrayed in my actions. It's portrayed in my connection.
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It's portrayed in every moment that I have with someone.
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And so I asked myself that a lot.
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And the predominant thoughts that I thought as a flight nurse
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was I have got you. I'm the perfect person for this
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job. This is what I do.
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There is no one in this moment in time who can do this better
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than me because my crew and my team are here.
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We are the people here. I am glad it's me and I've
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realized that I took a lot of those thoughts as I was a flight
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nurse into my personal life. I thought that many times last
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week. You know, when my husband works
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a job or predominantly he's gone Monday through Friday and he
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goes out of state to work and then he comes back on the
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weekends or Friday. And I've actually thought that a
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lot since he progressed to doing that.
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I've thought those thoughts a lot.
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Like, what better person than me to be able to be there for my
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family right now? To be able to have a business
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where I can be home, be there for my kids, have the time,
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freedom to go to all of their events, take care of them and
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their appointments, make the decision to put the dog down and
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have the support of my kids. Like, I'm glad it's me.
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I'm glad I'm the one that can handle it.
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I'm the perfect person. I have got my team and if you
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aren't predominantly believing these thoughts as life and
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circumstances is happening to you, I want to invite you to
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think about why. And what do you need to be
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believing about yourself to put yourself back into that?
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So much power that life isn't happening to you.
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You are happening to life. You have so much power and
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control over how you were doing things and how you were thinking
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and what perfect person but you to be the one to be doing it.
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No one better than you can be making those decisions and be
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that person to be going through that in that moment.
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I'm grateful for all these experiences.
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I'm grateful to be experiencing big emotions, sad emotions,
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joyful emotions, high emotions. Because I know with every
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emotion that I experience, I am now going to be able to help you
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guys and my clients through them with a better understanding of
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exactly how you feel with. I know I confidently I can help
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you through it because I've been through it and I know how to
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experience it and I know how to coach you through it.
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And I think that when I experience it first hand, then
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I'm able to go out there and help people with equally hard
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things. And I believe that for you guys
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too, The more we do the hard things, the more we experience
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it, the more capability we're going to be able to have to help
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other people through this. And, and I want to to offer you
15:37
guys a thought because I think sometimes we forget the jobs
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that we pick or the circumstances that were in our
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choice in them. And I, I have to tell a lot of
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like my critical care clients, a lot who are nurses who work
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really hard jobs or people who just work really hard jobs is
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that you chose this, you chose to work this type of job.
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So you have to remember to tell yourself, I want this and this
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is what I do. And I also another thought that
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I carry with me all the time is I am a leader.
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And I don't have to have the badge or the title.
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It's just remembering like being a leader is going to follow you
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throughout your whole life. And I think I remember as a
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young kid, people would be like, hey, Janessa, what do you think?
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And that was like the sparks of being a leader, you know, and,
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and remembering I am a leader. So I want this.
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This is what I do. I am a leader.
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The last thing that I want to leave you guys with is I think
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in grade school we are taught the wrong thing.
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We're taught you got to be nice to so and so because it's going
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to hurt their feelings. And I just really believe that
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we are responsible for our own feelings.
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So I really teach my kids, it's no one else's responsibility to
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make you feel better but you. And what that means is we cannot
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rely on other people or be hurt by what other people are telling
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us they're doing or not doing for us.
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It's our responsibility to take care of ourselves and, and, and
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our responsibility to feel better and feel our own
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feelings. And I was telling someone else
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this recently and they're like, well, doesn't that make, does
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that make like them not care about other people's feelings?
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And I'm like, actually, it's the opposite.
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They're so kind. And I realized they're so kind
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because when you can learn to take care of your own feelings
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and be responsible for that, then you have the energy to go
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out there and help other people more.
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And it's like the opposite. The more you take responsibility
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for, hey, I, I'm going to make myself feel better.
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I am the asset to the team. I need to take responsibility
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for what I need in this moment and how I can feel better and
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process my own emotions. Then when you can do that, then
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you have so much energy to give to other people and it creates
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someone who is so kind. And so I just want to offer you
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that when you are trying to please other people, people
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please other people, or navigate what you're saying or what
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you're doing to make someone feel a certain way or to control
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the way that they feel about you.
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That is trying to control other people's feelings for you.
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And that is impossible to do. The only person that hurts is
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you. And then that has you being
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someone totally different than who you are.
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And so I want to offer you, take responsibility for your
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feelings. Get what go out there and get
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what you need, what you need in the moment.
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Be confident in who you are. And if someone quote, UN quote,
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hurt your feelings or you are sad or disappointed because
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someone said something to you, just allow yourself to feel that
18:59
motion, but give yourself empowerment back and realize
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like you are responsible for for your own feelings.
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And that might mean, hey, maybe today I'm just going to feel a
19:14
little sad. Maybe today I'm going to just
19:17
feel a little disappointment. I'm going to allow myself to
19:19
feel it. I'm not going to resist it.
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I'm going to just process it through.
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When you can do that, when you can be truer, kinder to
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yourself, that's where your confidence will grow.
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That's where your capacity will grow.
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This is doing the hard thing. And then when you'll realize,
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just like I did this week, like I am so proud of myself for
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allowing myself to experience the sadness, to have the
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confidence and empowerment, to feel like life isn't happening
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to me, but I'm happening to my life and I love every minute of
20:01
it. I love the sadness, I love the
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joy. I love all of it because it is
20:06
increasing my capability to do the hard.
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If anything in this episode struck A chord with you and this
20:13
is something that you want to work on and you want to feel
20:15
empowered in your life, not the other way around anymore.
20:18
Join us inside the shift. This is the work that we are
20:21
doing. I am going to teach you how to
20:23
declutter your brain, manage your mind, and become the person
20:26
who takes control over your life and your feelings and everything
20:30
big that you want to create. All right, that's it for this
20:33
week, you guys. I will see hopefully all of you
20:35
guys inside the shift and I'll talk to you next week.
20:38
All right, bye. If anything in this episode.
20:40
So it sparked your interest in learning to manage your mind and
20:43
feel better to create confidence in your life.
20:45
Come join the shift. We are an entire community that
20:48
meets together on a weekly basis with an ongoing group chat.
20:51
You can click on the link to join in the show notes or DM me
20:54
on Instagram. I hope.
20:55
To see. All of you guys inside.