Latest / Talk Wealthy To Me / 25. Financial Red Flags in Relationships: Is Love Costing You Wealth?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Let's know's welcome, talk Welcome we Talk Wealthy to Me.
- 0:04Speaker 1: I'm Michelle Taylor, founder of Women and Well and Wealth.
- 0:07Speaker 1: From breaking money myths to building wealth and achieving financial freedom.
- 0:11Speaker 1: We're here to empower you to create your own path
- 0:14Speaker 1: path Talk Wealth. Now, join the conversation and let's change
- 0:18Speaker 1: the way women think and feel about money. Are you ready? Hi, everybody,
- 0:27Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Talk Wealthy to Me podcast. I'm Michelle,
- 0:30Speaker 1: your host, and I'm happy to have you here again.
- 0:34Speaker 1: So let's talk about something that we don't talk about enough.
- 0:39Speaker 1: What happens when you are in a relationship or madly
- 0:43Speaker 1: in love with somebody who is keeping you from building wealth.
- 0:47Speaker 1: I know that that can sound a little crazy, but
- 0:50Speaker 1: I think it happens more often than you think it does.
- 0:55Speaker 1: I want you to take a second to realize that
- 0:58Speaker 1: this is not about bashing who you're with, but truly
- 1:02Speaker 1: just making sure that you're in alignment with each other.
- 1:05Speaker 1: You can be dating a walking red flag financially and
- 1:09Speaker 1: not even know it because we've been taught to prioritize
- 1:13Speaker 1: chemistry over compatibility. So don't get me wrong. You don't
- 1:17Speaker 1: want to not be compatible with someone, but I think
- 1:22Speaker 1: that it's really important that you have chemistry and that
- 1:25Speaker 1: you're financially compatible with someone. How they deal with money,
- 1:29Speaker 1: what kind of debt they're bringing into the situation, how
- 1:31Speaker 1: they plan for their future, all super important things to
- 1:35Speaker 1: talk about. One of the clients that I have really
- 1:39Speaker 1: learned a lot from in this situation, she was crushing
- 1:43Speaker 1: it new promotion saving aggressively, and then she moved in
- 1:47Speaker 1: with her boyfriend and within six months a lot of
- 1:50Speaker 1: the hard work and big stride she had made were diminished.
- 1:54Speaker 1: And that was because she was footing so much of
- 1:58Speaker 1: the responsibilities have a second person in her day to
- 2:02Speaker 1: day sphere and didn't really know how to manage that
- 2:06Speaker 1: with somebody who she had a ton of chemistry with
- 2:10Speaker 1: but that wasn't pulling their weight financially. So I want
- 2:14Speaker 1: you guys to think about again, this is not a negative.
- 2:18Speaker 1: And if you're already in a situation where somebody is
- 2:22Speaker 1: your better half or other half, it doesn't mean that
- 2:25Speaker 1: you need to get out of a relationship. It just
- 2:28Speaker 1: means we need to be really intentional about the conversations
- 2:31Speaker 1: that we're having and making sure that we're on the
- 2:33Speaker 1: same page when it comes to financially planning for a
- 2:37Speaker 1: future that you're building with someone. It's not just about
- 2:42Speaker 1: love and chemistry, all right. So when you're thinking through this,
- 2:46Speaker 1: remember you deserve a partner and not a dependent. Some
- 2:50Speaker 1: of the red flags that you want to look for
- 2:53Speaker 1: inconsistent or unstable income without a plan or a hustle
- 2:57Speaker 1: to back it up. Now, this doesn't mean that the
- 3:01Speaker 1: person that you're in a relationship with has to be
- 3:05Speaker 1: a C suite executive or running a fortune five hundred company.
- 3:10Speaker 1: But what it does mean is that there should be
- 3:12Speaker 1: some drive around providing consistently financially to your situation. If
- 3:19Speaker 1: the income is not consistent, the hope would be that
- 3:23Speaker 1: they are looking for ways to have a side hustle
- 3:27Speaker 1: or grow in their career to make sure that the
- 3:30Speaker 1: financial stability they need to bring to the table is
- 3:33Speaker 1: on the forefront of their mind and they're not just
- 3:35Speaker 1: relying on you to provide it. Another thing you want
- 3:39Speaker 1: to talk about is hidden debt or reluctance to share
- 3:42Speaker 1: their financial background or their financial picture. Now, it may
- 3:47Speaker 1: not seem like a big deal in the moment. If
- 3:50Speaker 1: the person that you're sharing your life with has a
- 3:52Speaker 1: lot of debt and I want to preface this by
- 3:54Speaker 1: saying I'm not talking about student loan debt. That is fine.
- 3:57Speaker 1: As I've mentioned in many episodes, financial debt. When you're
- 4:02Speaker 1: looking at the big picture, student loan debt is not
- 4:05Speaker 1: considered negative. It's considered a positive because it was building
- 4:08Speaker 1: something for your future. So I'm talking about other debt,
- 4:13Speaker 1: personal loans, revolving credit card debt, things that could be
- 4:17Speaker 1: a red flag. If they're opening up a credit card
- 4:19Speaker 1: to save a little bit of money on financing, anything
- 4:22Speaker 1: like that you want to know about because if you
- 4:26Speaker 1: start to build a life with someone, you're inevitably going
- 4:29Speaker 1: to have to apply for credit or different investment opportunities together,
- 4:35Speaker 1: and if they have a ton of credit card debt
- 4:37Speaker 1: or bad credit, that is going to significantly impact you. Again,
- 4:43Speaker 1: if that's the case, it doesn't mean it's a negative,
- 4:46Speaker 1: but you all should have a conversation, an honest one,
- 4:49Speaker 1: about what the plan is around debt and how they're
- 4:52Speaker 1: going to address it, because the reality is is, just
- 4:55Speaker 1: like with investments and tax strategy, somebody's tolerance to debt
- 5:00Speaker 1: can widely differentiate them from the next person in a room.
- 5:06Speaker 1: So people oftentimes will be really concerned about personal debt,
- 5:13Speaker 1: and then somebody else is not and thinks it's no
- 5:16Speaker 1: big deal, And that is something that you need to
- 5:18Speaker 1: have a good clear understanding on before you get further
- 5:22Speaker 1: down the road with someone that you're sharing credit with.
- 5:25Speaker 1: The next thing is lack of ambition and vision. You again,
- 5:30Speaker 1: are so blessed if you are somebody who has passion
- 5:34Speaker 1: around what they're doing. And I want to be perfectly clear,
- 5:38Speaker 1: not everybody has that vision, and that is okay. However,
- 5:44Speaker 1: you want to make sure that the ambition is not lacking.
- 5:47Speaker 1: For some people living a very mundane life of just
- 5:53Speaker 1: working nine to five and never striving for the growth
- 5:58Speaker 1: in a career or the growth financially, that is their
- 6:02Speaker 1: journey and that's okay. But you want to make sure
- 6:04Speaker 1: that if your vision for the next one three five
- 6:08Speaker 1: years looks differently, that you identify that in the very beginning.
- 6:12Speaker 1: Hustle and drive and ambition are critical when you're talking
- 6:17Speaker 1: about spending your life with someone. Again, not that one
- 6:20Speaker 1: is better than the other, but just that you both
- 6:22Speaker 1: are on the same page, because those two things will
- 6:25Speaker 1: not vibe together if you're on different stratospheres. And then
- 6:31Speaker 1: the last thing you really think about is is the
- 6:34Speaker 1: person that you're sharing in your life with disrespecting your goals?
- 6:38Speaker 1: Are they supporting you? Or are they making side remarks
- 6:43Speaker 1: or jokes about how you're spending and how you're saving.
- 6:47Speaker 1: And then when you are doing good financially, maybe there's
- 6:51Speaker 1: comments like, oh, you have a good job or you
- 6:55Speaker 1: have discipline around these financial things. So it makes you
- 7:00Speaker 1: come across as entitled or thinking you're better. Ladies, do
- 7:04Speaker 1: not tolerate any of that. That is not the kind
- 7:07Speaker 1: of partner that you want to share your life with.
- 7:10Speaker 1: And it is truly part of the most important decision
- 7:15Speaker 1: you'll ever make. And I heard that comment. I'm sure
- 7:17Speaker 1: you guys have heard it. But who you choose to
- 7:20Speaker 1: spend your life with is the number one decision you
- 7:23Speaker 1: will make to dictate what kind of life that you live.
- 7:27Speaker 1: So if you're getting any kind of you know, side
- 7:31Speaker 1: jabbing or jokes being made at your expense that call
- 7:35Speaker 1: into question the disciplines and the habits that you have,
- 7:39Speaker 1: have a real conversation about that so that the person
- 7:41Speaker 1: that you're with knows that it is not okay. They
- 7:44Speaker 1: need to get on board with what you're working towards.
- 7:47Speaker 1: Or get off the train, all right. So this one
- 7:50Speaker 1: is super close to my heart because I am lucky
- 7:54Speaker 1: enough and have been blessed with a partner that is
- 7:58Speaker 1: comfortable with kind of the gender roles and money and
- 8:02Speaker 1: how that all works. My husband, I could not do
- 8:05Speaker 1: any of the things that I do in this life,
- 8:08Speaker 1: whether it is spending time with my kids and making
- 8:12Speaker 1: sure that I'm present there, growing a business, hosting a podcast, traveling,
- 8:18Speaker 1: being a friend, a daughter, a niece, all of those
- 8:22Speaker 1: things I could not do without him. And when we
- 8:26Speaker 1: first met, his goal was always to give me the
- 8:31Speaker 1: rope that I needed to run, because I knew I
- 8:34Speaker 1: wanted to build something really significant. And what that means
- 8:38Speaker 1: is there are plenty of times that he's taking the
- 8:40Speaker 1: back seat to some of the financial decisions that we
- 8:44Speaker 1: need to make, or the picking up some of the
- 8:48Speaker 1: slack that comes with having to have late nights at
- 8:51Speaker 1: the office or a travel schedule with the kids, and
- 8:55Speaker 1: again he's comfortable with that, and that has made all
- 8:59Speaker 1: of the difference. So I want to encourage everybody to
- 9:02Speaker 1: take the gender roles and what we traditionally have grown
- 9:05Speaker 1: up thinking and challenge that narrative and find a partner
- 9:09Speaker 1: that will challenge that narrative. So let's talk about the
- 9:13Speaker 1: idea of a provider and how that gets twisted. Being
- 9:18Speaker 1: a provider doesn't necessarily mean just a financial provider. There
- 9:22Speaker 1: are so many different ways to provide for a family,
- 9:24Speaker 1: and it's really important that everybody is on the same page.
- 9:28Speaker 1: So traditionally, we grew up thinking that the man was
- 9:31Speaker 1: a provider and the woman was a caretaker, and that
- 9:34Speaker 1: doesn't always match reality. I don't know about you, guys,
- 9:37Speaker 1: but I've seen this said before and it is so true.
- 9:41Speaker 1: Women are expected to hustle like a CEO and then
- 9:45Speaker 1: raise their kids like they're a stay at home mom.
- 9:47Speaker 1: And I don't need to tell you, but that is impossible,
- 9:52Speaker 1: and so having a partner that understands that those roles
- 9:55Speaker 1: could be a little bit shifted is critical. Women are
- 9:59Speaker 1: expecting to be the emotional and financial backbone of a relationship,
- 10:04Speaker 1: and then they feel guilty about asking questions. I know,
- 10:07Speaker 1: even for me and mom and my mother in law.
- 10:11Speaker 1: I don't mean to put you on blast, but there
- 10:13Speaker 1: are so many times that I've had to remind them.
- 10:16Speaker 1: Would you be saying this to me if it were Jason?
- 10:19Speaker 1: That was traveling or are you just saying it because
- 10:23Speaker 1: I am not fitting into the traditional gender role that
- 10:26Speaker 1: you guys grew up with. And they both said, oh
- 10:28Speaker 1: my god, you're totally right. I think that that's so
- 10:31Speaker 1: important is call it out. It's never I don't think,
- 10:35Speaker 1: in at least this situation, it's never done with malice
- 10:39Speaker 1: or ill intent. But it is just something that we've
- 10:41Speaker 1: been raised with and it's been ingrained in us from
- 10:45Speaker 1: the very beginning. Address it now so that there's no
- 10:49Speaker 1: animosity and build out what works for your family. Also
- 10:54Speaker 1: when you're thinking through what these provider caretaker roles look like,
- 11:00Speaker 1: So some of the imbalances that show up are not
- 11:04Speaker 1: just around the financial imbalance of who's staying home and
- 11:08Speaker 1: who's the one that's going out and working later nights,
- 11:11Speaker 1: but also splitting everything fifty to fifty. If someone's income
- 11:17Speaker 1: is half of what the others is, that doesn't really
- 11:20Speaker 1: seem fair all the time, especially if you're in a
- 11:23Speaker 1: relationship where there's you guys aren't married, you're not sharing accounts.
- 11:27Speaker 1: So think with me for a second about somebody who is,
- 11:30Speaker 1: let's say, starting a new business and they're bringing in
- 11:33Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars a year. They're married to somebody that's established,
- 11:38Speaker 1: and maybe that person is making one hundred and fifty
- 11:40Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year. For them to split all of
- 11:43Speaker 1: the bills fifty to fifty would have a much higher
- 11:46Speaker 1: impact on the person that only is bringing in a
- 11:49Speaker 1: third of what the other person is bringing. So it
- 11:51Speaker 1: doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman. It
- 11:55Speaker 1: doesn't matter if it's the one that's staying home. Maybe
- 11:58Speaker 1: their business is based at home and they're doing exceptionally well,
- 12:02Speaker 1: and the other person is the one going out and
- 12:05Speaker 1: working in nine to five that's maybe not at the
- 12:07Speaker 1: same level that they're at. It doesn't matter who it is.
- 12:10Speaker 1: It just matters that how you're contributing to the household
- 12:14Speaker 1: or your family should be indicative of the salary and
- 12:19Speaker 1: where you all are at. That is going to prevent
- 12:22Speaker 1: people from feeling like they are either inadequate or not
- 12:25Speaker 1: getting enough of a say because they're not bringing enough
- 12:28Speaker 1: into the family. It should definitely be a cohesive conversation,
- 12:33Speaker 1: but one that feels fair. The other thing is one
- 12:37Speaker 1: person managing all of the bills. This gets really hard,
- 12:41Speaker 1: and I can speak from experience. Sorry, babe. But I
- 12:46Speaker 1: think it partly is because so many of us may
- 12:49Speaker 1: just be Type A personalities and used to being in
- 12:52Speaker 1: control and making big decisions that sometimes it's hard to
- 12:57Speaker 1: let your partner in and share that responsibility. And I
- 13:01Speaker 1: think that that's really important. One person should not be
- 13:04Speaker 1: responsible for all of the financial ins and outs of
- 13:09Speaker 1: a household. You need to be splitting the responsibility, having
- 13:13Speaker 1: those money dates that we've talked about before, and really
- 13:16Speaker 1: encouraging the other person to ask questions, know what you're
- 13:19Speaker 1: working towards, know what bills are due and when they're due,
- 13:23Speaker 1: and how that fits into your overall strategy. The other
- 13:27Speaker 1: thing I would say is investing in your future and
- 13:31Speaker 1: you have a partner that's maybe living paycheck to paycheck
- 13:34Speaker 1: by choice. This again goes back to spending habits, and
- 13:38Speaker 1: I'm the first to say that that can be something
- 13:41Speaker 1: that's a little intimidating, especially if you're not married. But
- 13:45Speaker 1: if you're just living your life with someone, it's hard
- 13:47Speaker 1: to feel that you can dictate how they're spending their money.
- 13:51Speaker 1: And I can relate to that. I understand. However, when
- 13:55Speaker 1: you're talking about bringing funds into a household together or
- 14:00Speaker 1: a like overall financial plan. Together, you want to make
- 14:06Speaker 1: sure that one person isn't doing all of the investing,
- 14:10Speaker 1: in all of the saving, and the other person is
- 14:13Speaker 1: spending frivolously and doing things that are important to them
- 14:17Speaker 1: and not pulling their weight with building the big picture.
- 14:22Speaker 1: So love is not a financial plan. If you're building alone,
- 14:28Speaker 1: it certainly won't work. You are in a partnership and
- 14:32Speaker 1: this is not a project, and you are not supposed
- 14:35Speaker 1: to be molding the person you're with. Now. I understand
- 14:39Speaker 1: being patient and working with someone because you love them,
- 14:42Speaker 1: that's fine. But if you see a trend that they
- 14:46Speaker 1: don't want to change, don't want to have the same conversations,
- 14:49Speaker 1: they could get to a point where they are holding
- 14:51Speaker 1: you back financially, and that is something that you will
- 14:54Speaker 1: never recover from, especially if you get married and the
- 14:58Speaker 1: trajectory of your life look different forever. So have those
- 15:03Speaker 1: conversations today and make sure that you're on the same page. Okay,
- 15:07Speaker 1: so how do we have these conversations? Transparency is key.
- 15:12Speaker 1: Financial transparency should not wait until you're engaged. You should
- 15:17Speaker 1: be having the conversations now before you get to a
- 15:21Speaker 1: point where things are really serious, just to make sure
- 15:24Speaker 1: that you're either at the same place or working towards
- 15:27Speaker 1: the same place. I want to give you permission to
- 15:30Speaker 1: ask the hard questions, and I don't want you to
- 15:34Speaker 1: sound like it's an interrogation, because that's never going to
- 15:38Speaker 1: feel fun. You don't want this conversation to take place
- 15:41Speaker 1: in an environment where someone could feel defensive or like
- 15:45Speaker 1: they were being attacked. So some of the things you
- 15:47Speaker 1: may want to say when you're thinking through this is, Hey,
- 15:50Speaker 1: I've been thinking about how we handle money as a couple.
- 15:53Speaker 1: Can we both lay out where we're working with and
- 15:57Speaker 1: what we're doing and see if it's in a alignment
- 16:00Speaker 1: for the future that we're planning together, or what does
- 16:04Speaker 1: financial security look like to you? What are your goals
- 16:07Speaker 1: in the next three to five years. Are you open
- 16:10Speaker 1: to looking at our monthly expenses together and seeing what's
- 16:13Speaker 1: working and what's not working. I think that again, women
- 16:17Speaker 1: in general have been taught to not operate in the
- 16:23Speaker 1: space where things can get uncomfortable. We are always taught
- 16:27Speaker 1: to be conservative, be quiet, don't be loud, don't be
- 16:30Speaker 1: too much, don't talk about money, don't talk about politics,
- 16:32Speaker 1: don't talk about religion. All of these things in my
- 16:35Speaker 1: opinion have held us back. So be the one to
- 16:38Speaker 1: bring up the conversation, even if you're not the primary breadwinner.
- 16:42Speaker 1: I know that can be even harder. But if you
- 16:44Speaker 1: are in a situation where you feel you're making really
- 16:47Speaker 1: good financial decisions, have the conversation. Have it in a
- 16:51Speaker 1: non confrontational way, make it feel collaborative, and let's normalize.
- 16:57Speaker 1: Bringing back the second date money question. So you go
- 17:02Speaker 1: on a first date or you're in the honeymoon phase
- 17:05Speaker 1: of a relationship, make sure you understand this. You are
- 17:09Speaker 1: not a gold digger. You are not focused on money
- 17:14Speaker 1: in a way that would be unhealthy if you just
- 17:17Speaker 1: ask your partner if you're financially aligned. You are committed
- 17:21Speaker 1: to building a life and a future that you envision
- 17:25Speaker 1: for yourself. You want to build wealth and you want
- 17:28Speaker 1: to have somebody with you that's doing the same thing. Now,
- 17:31Speaker 1: don't ask them what they make when you guys are
- 17:34Speaker 1: brand new, but start to pepper in questions that don't
- 17:39Speaker 1: feel intrusive, because you will start to get a good
- 17:41Speaker 1: idea of exactly what kind of conversations need to happen
- 17:46Speaker 1: in the beginning, and keep a healthy conversation going throughout
- 17:50Speaker 1: the lifetime of your relationship. Okay, so what do we
- 17:53Speaker 1: do if you're already in a relationship where you feel
- 17:57Speaker 1: that you're carrying a lot of the financial load. If
- 18:01Speaker 1: you're already doing it all, you need a plan that
- 18:04Speaker 1: doesn't just protect him, it protects you. So start with grace.
- 18:10Speaker 1: Many women are financially carrying partners out of love, loyalty,
- 18:15Speaker 1: or fear. And again, if this is something that you
- 18:18Speaker 1: guys have agreed upon, if one of you is in
- 18:20Speaker 1: a transitional space in your life, looking for a promotion,
- 18:23Speaker 1: starting a new business, that's all fine. The burden of
- 18:27Speaker 1: carrying more of the financial responsibility will shift many times
- 18:31Speaker 1: in a relationship, but you want to make sure that
- 18:36Speaker 1: you're handling it gracefully and having honest conversations around it.
- 18:42Speaker 1: But if you're covering the rent, the groceries, the car notes,
- 18:47Speaker 1: and you're still expected to act like everything is equal,
- 18:51Speaker 1: that is not love. Its leverage. And as much as
- 18:55Speaker 1: we love leverage in the investment space and in building wealth,
- 19:00Speaker 1: you don't want to have that kind of relationship leverage.
- 19:04Speaker 1: So if you're feeling like things are a little bit
- 19:08Speaker 1: uneven and you maybe are being taken advantage of that's
- 19:13Speaker 1: a conversation we need to get in front of immediately.
- 19:17Speaker 1: So how do we reclaim this financial power? Draw a
- 19:21Speaker 1: clear boundary. Here's what I can contribute every single month.
- 19:26Speaker 1: Beyond this, we need to rebalance. That should feel good
- 19:31Speaker 1: to any of you listening because it is not combative,
- 19:35Speaker 1: but it is strong and it's confident. You also want
- 19:38Speaker 1: to insist on sharing responsibilities or contributions, even if it's
- 19:43Speaker 1: non monetary cooking, childcare, cleaning. And this one is a
- 19:49Speaker 1: hard one, you guys, because again, just like the financial
- 19:52Speaker 1: balance will change a million times in a relationship, so
- 19:56Speaker 1: will these type of things. And that is okay, But again,
- 20:00Speaker 1: you don't want any kind of animosity building up. So
- 20:03Speaker 1: make sure that if you have a partner that's doing
- 20:06Speaker 1: heavy lifting in another area of y'all's life, that you
- 20:09Speaker 1: are appreciative, you're talking about it, and just know that
- 20:12Speaker 1: it is temporary and that it's part of the big plan,
- 20:15Speaker 1: and that the ebbs and flows of a healthy relationship
- 20:18Speaker 1: will always include a balance of or rebalance of responsibility,
- 20:24Speaker 1: whether it's financial or taking care of the kids, giving
- 20:28Speaker 1: bath time, cooking, whatever it is. Balance is the key
- 20:33Speaker 1: to the game. You also want to keep your account
- 20:35Speaker 1: separate if you're not legally tied and bound to each other.
- 20:40Speaker 1: Protect your credit at all costs, Ladies, I don't care
- 20:45Speaker 1: how much you envision a future with someone you're madly
- 20:48Speaker 1: in love with the person. Do not co sign or
- 20:53Speaker 1: put your credit on the line for somebody that you
- 20:56Speaker 1: are not legally tied to. Having bad debt or bad
- 21:03Speaker 1: credit is something that will follow you and haunt you
- 21:06Speaker 1: for a long time. And if you're not in a
- 21:10Speaker 1: relationship where you are married or in a domestic partnership,
- 21:15Speaker 1: something you could be paying for these mistakes well after
- 21:20Speaker 1: the relationship ends. I know for me, several years ago,
- 21:25Speaker 1: I had a co signing situation with somebody that I
- 21:29Speaker 1: was with, and every time I would look at my
- 21:33Speaker 1: credit report and see that little snaffoo on there, it
- 21:37Speaker 1: just reminded me of all of the decisions I could
- 21:40Speaker 1: have made that would have been better. So it was
- 21:43Speaker 1: a good life lesson. But take it from me. Let
- 21:45Speaker 1: me be your hindsight and foresight so that you're not
- 21:50Speaker 1: figuring this out after the fact. Avoided at all costs.
- 21:55Speaker 1: Your credit should be protected as much as your Social
- 21:59Speaker 1: Security number or it is your baby, and it is
- 22:02Speaker 1: always yours. It's never going to shift to be a
- 22:05Speaker 1: shared responsibility. Protect your credit, do not co sign, be
- 22:09Speaker 1: part of the solution. Help find reasonable alternatives if somebody
- 22:14Speaker 1: needs the help, but one of them should never be
- 22:17Speaker 1: co signing on a loan unless you are married. Another
- 22:21Speaker 1: thing is bank account So even at that point, I
- 22:25Speaker 1: don't think it's a bad idea to have a shared
- 22:28Speaker 1: account if you are working towards a vacation or a
- 22:31Speaker 1: common goal. But just know that that account technically can
- 22:37Speaker 1: be wiped out if you and the relationship and you
- 22:40Speaker 1: have no recourse, So keep that in mind. There's nothing
- 22:43Speaker 1: to protect you if you are sharing financial accounts without
- 22:47Speaker 1: being married. Another thing to think through always is revisit
- 22:52Speaker 1: your goals. I want you to think, is this partnership
- 22:56Speaker 1: helping or hindering what I'm trying to build? And again,
- 23:01Speaker 1: if it feels a little bit like it's hindering, it
- 23:04Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it needs to end or it's bad.
- 23:07Speaker 1: But you want to just have those honest conversations, which
- 23:10Speaker 1: I feel like is something we always come back to.
- 23:13Speaker 1: Consistency conversations, Transparency and just communicating with the people that
- 23:20Speaker 1: you're involving in your life is going to be critical,
- 23:24Speaker 1: so make sure that you're always looking back at your goals.
- 23:28Speaker 1: Have you gotten off track? Is this person off track?
- 23:31Speaker 1: Are you guys still working at the same speed or
- 23:35Speaker 1: level that you always were? And make it something fun,
- 23:39Speaker 1: Have a date night, talk about it, bring it to
- 23:42Speaker 1: the forefront, and if it needs to be fixed, fix
- 23:45Speaker 1: it now. So as this conversation comes to a close,
- 23:49Speaker 1: I want you to remember that you are not high
- 23:51Speaker 1: maintenance for wanting financial alignment with your partner. You are
- 23:56Speaker 1: high value. Again, this is a decision that will impact
- 24:00Speaker 1: the rest of your life. So no pressure, ladies, but
- 24:04Speaker 1: this is one to take seriously. Have the conversations. You
- 24:07Speaker 1: want a partner, not a dependent. You want somebody that
- 24:11Speaker 1: is contributing to the big overarching theme of your financial
- 24:16Speaker 1: wellness or your wealth building journey. Have those conversations. Don't
- 24:20Speaker 1: be worried about the perception if someone loves you enough
- 24:24Speaker 1: to share their life with you, as long as you
- 24:26Speaker 1: approach the conversation in a healthy, collaborative way, it shouldn't
- 24:32Speaker 1: have any negative recourse. Have the conversations now. A man
- 24:38Speaker 1: or a woman can be incredible in many ways and
- 24:42Speaker 1: still be a liability for your future. So get ahead
- 24:46Speaker 1: of that, identify it now, and money conversations are a
- 24:50Speaker 1: form of intimacy. Transparency is sexy. To know what somebody
- 24:54Speaker 1: is working with, what their goals are, what they're thinking about,
- 24:57Speaker 1: what their debt is not is an intimate conversation, and
- 25:02Speaker 1: if you're being intimate in many other ways, add this
- 25:06Speaker 1: to the piece that needs care and to be looked after,
- 25:10Speaker 1: and then you're allowed to outgrow a relationship that is
- 25:13Speaker 1: no longer serving you or supporting your vision. And again
- 25:18Speaker 1: not to say that anybody listening needs to do that,
- 25:21Speaker 1: just give yourself the permission. If it's feeling like it's
- 25:23Speaker 1: no longer serving you, identify it now and pull the
- 25:28Speaker 1: band aid off and start readjusting and reevaluating what a
- 25:34Speaker 1: plan to build wealth will look like. As a single person,
- 25:38Speaker 1: sometimes it's way easier and a little bit more fun
- 25:43Speaker 1: because you only have to consider your wants and needs.
- 25:45Speaker 1: So if you're in a position where that's the case,
- 25:48Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. The
- 25:51Speaker 1: next chapter could be your best chapter. So as we
- 25:54Speaker 1: wrap up, I have a few asks of you. If
- 25:57Speaker 1: this resonated and there's a woman in your life that
- 26:00Speaker 1: needs to hear it, text this to the group chat ladies.
- 26:03Speaker 1: I know we all have one, but let's help each
- 26:07Speaker 1: other and make sure that the people that we care
- 26:10Speaker 1: about are getting the information that they need. Have the
- 26:14Speaker 1: honest conversations this week about money with your partner, make
- 26:18Speaker 1: it fun, sit on the couch, don't hit play on Netflix,
- 26:22Speaker 1: have this conversation instead, and then DM and tag us
- 26:26Speaker 1: if something in this really resonated with you. We love
- 26:30Speaker 1: to see all of the feedback, so tag us at
- 26:34Speaker 1: talk Wealthy to me so we can share it with
- 26:37Speaker 1: other listeners and keep the awareness and impact going. And
- 26:42Speaker 1: as always, let's change the way women think and feel
- 26:46Speaker 1: about money together. Until next time,