Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #111| Does Overthinking Keep You Trapped in Overwhelm and People Pleasing? Here's How to Let Go
Transcript
- 0:00Jackie de Crinis: I was an overachiever who was always trying to people please and be a perfectionist, and eventually it leads to just utter burnout.
- 0:13Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:20Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:25Michelle Gauthier: On this show we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:36Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend, Thanks for joining today.
- 0:40Michelle Gauthier: Today, my guest is Jackie de Crinis.
- 0:43Michelle Gauthier: She is a former TV executive - you will not believe all of the shows that she oversaw in her TV career - turned life coach and author of the fantastic new book the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, a handbook for overachievers, people pleasers, and perfectionists.
- 1:01Michelle Gauthier: Raise your hand if you're one of those things, or all of those things.
- 1:04Michelle Gauthier: The book is great.
- 1:05Michelle Gauthier: I've read it myself.
- 1:06Michelle Gauthier: In fact, it's sitting on my nightstand right now, because it's really the handbook where you can flip to a certain section.
- 1:12Michelle Gauthier: If you're stuck on people pleasing or you're not getting enough sleep.
- 1:16Michelle Gauthier: She's got a section for everything.
- 1:17Michelle Gauthier: So today we're just going to talk about overthinking and why it keeps you stuck and how to break free, some practical strategies to quiet your inner critic and reduce that self-imposed pressure that we tend to put on ourselves, and then, the secret to aligning your daily life with your values, to have just a more joyful and intentional existence.
- 1:38Michelle Gauthier: And Jackie has done this, so she's a great example of it.
- 1:40Michelle Gauthier: She also moved to Hawaii, which maybe we should all consider.
- 1:43Michelle Gauthier: All right, let's jump in.
- 1:45Michelle Gauthier: Now that you've heard all about her, let's say hello! Hi, Jackie.
- 1:52Jackie de Crinis: Hi, Michelle, thank you for having me.
- 1:54Michelle Gauthier: The reason why I wanted to have you on today and I invited you to be on, was because I saw that you wrote this book called the Overthinker's Guide to Joy Handbook.
- 2:02Michelle Gauthier: I love that.
- 2:03Michelle Gauthier: I can't wait to hear all about it, and I know that you also, like me, talk a lot about people-pleasing and perfectionists and all that kind of stuff.
- 2:13Michelle Gauthier: So tell me first a little bit about how you got into this line of work, how you were so focused on overthinkers, perfectionists, etc.
- 2:22Jackie de Crinis: I have to admit that I was probably born- I mean, some of it is kind of the way we're wired.
- 2:31Jackie de Crinis: I think I was born a little bit as an overthinker to start with, and then we choose our paths.
- 2:35Jackie de Crinis: I chose a path of being in television for over 30 years, which, if you're not an overthinker, you will be once you work in the entertainment industry.
- 2:45Michelle Gauthier: I just have a vibe that that's a really stressful environment.
- 2:49Michelle Gauthier: Is it true?
- 2:50Michelle Gauthier: Is it ever - is there anything chill about it, or is it always just high stress?
- 2:54Jackie de Crinis: It is just high, high stress.
- 2:57Jackie de Crinis: There are a handful of people who, I think, go into it and I've only heard of them.
- 3:04Jackie de Crinis: I've never actually met them, they're not even real.
- 3:08Jackie de Crinis: They're not even real.
- 3:09Jackie de Crinis: They're total unicorns yes, urban legends, who fall into it because they think it would be fun, and they're usually actors or writers or directors, or they start as actors and they become writers and directors and then they go to work with all their friends and there is incredible bonding in the entertainment business.
- 3:26Jackie de Crinis: You'll hear people like Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen and there's a handful of others who are like, I just wanted to do it, it sounded like fun, and I got to do it with my friends, and it's just a big party.
- 3:39Jackie de Crinis: That's not to say that they don't work their butts off.
- 3:43Michelle Gauthier: But they are stoned all the time.
- 3:45Michelle Gauthier: So there's that.
- 3:46Michelle Gauthier: Even on podcasts they say that.
- 3:49Michelle Gauthier: I'm not like - oh okay.
- 3:50Michelle Gauthier: Because I can't speak to that.
- 3:52Michelle Gauthier: No, I'm not asking you to confirm, or deny, but he was on Dax Shepard's podcast and he's like just a sec, I got it.
- 3:58Michelle Gauthier: He was like basically smoking pot on there and said he does it all day long, so maybe that helps with the chill factor.
- 4:04Michelle Gauthier: I'm assuming that's not what you talk about in your coaching, though.
- 4:07Jackie de Crinis: Absolutely not.
- 4:08Jackie de Crinis: So I spent all those decades in the entertainment business and for me, because I was on the corporate side of things, I was a buyer and a seller.
- 4:17Jackie de Crinis: I was a seller in a studio capacity and I was a buyer in the network capacity.
- 4:21Jackie de Crinis: So I wore a suit and high heels and worked in a tall building and writers and directors and actors came in and pitched projects to me.
- 4:29Jackie de Crinis: So it's very corporate, yes, creative, but the demand of my job, the demand of my job after work, juggling to raise three children, trying to maintain a semblance of a healthy lifestyle, which I probably failed pretty miserably at.
- 4:44Jackie de Crinis: I was so overthinking about everything and very much like the subtitle of my book, a handbook for overachievers, people pleasers, and perfectionists, I am all of those things.
- 4:57Jackie de Crinis: I was an overachiever who was always trying to people please and be a perfectionist and eventually it leads to just utter burnout.
- 5:06Michelle Gauthier: Yes, yes.
- 5:07Michelle Gauthier: So before you hit the burnout phase, when you were just doing all those things, people-pleasing, overthinking, being a perfectionist, tell me about the times when it worked for you.
- 5:19Michelle Gauthier: What were you able to accomplish?
- 5:21Michelle Gauthier: Because I feel like we're always doing the things that work for us and then, all of a sudden, it's like this does not work for me.
- 5:28Michelle Gauthier: So what were you able to achieve when you're at the height of all of that?
- 5:33Jackie de Crinis: Well, that's a great question, wow, and it kind of gives me a little pause to think about it for a minute.
- 5:40Michelle Gauthier: Do you kind of want to say nothing good, but really there was probably something good in there, right?
- 5:45Jackie de Crinis: I'd like to say nothing good.
- 5:48Jackie de Crinis: The glib sarcastic me would be like nothing, but the mindful version of me would like to take a pause and say a lot of good things came out of it, which is I had a really coveted illustrative career in which I was compensated well eventually not at the beginning, and the book talks about that, but I was compensated well.
- 6:12Jackie de Crinis: I got to meet very interesting people, I got to work on very interesting projects and I got to run the creative part of a network for the better part of 16 years, because I was head of development for USA Network and it was in the heyday of cable.
- 6:26Jackie de Crinis: So literally all the shows that you now see in reruns on Netflix were all under my watch, which is Suits, Monk, Psych, Royal Pains, White Collar, I mean it goes on.
- 6:42Jackie de Crinis: I think we had 16 hit shows in the 17 years I was there.
- 6:46Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh, it must be so weird to flip on Netflix and see your show.
- 6:50Jackie de Crinis: It is weird, and I don't get a credit on it because I'm an executive, so there's no producing credit.
- 6:54Michelle Gauthier: Yeah but you know, you oversaw that show.
- 6:57Michelle Gauthier: I mean, that must be so strange.
- 6:59Jackie de Crinis: Yeah, I either bought it or participated in casting, and I oversaw it for the life of the series.
- 7:05Jackie de Crinis: You know, read every script, watched every cut, you know weighed in on every actor, and so, yeah, there's this legacy.
- 7:11Jackie de Crinis: I mean, I've been out of television now for eight years, but there's this legacy in this body of work that people are finding for the first time.
- 7:18Jackie de Crinis: And so, like I'll go down and play pickleball and people will be like, wait, did you work on this one too?
- 7:22Jackie de Crinis: Did you work on this one too?
- 7:23Jackie de Crinis: I just started binging it and I'm like, oh yeah, 20 years ago, but yes, I did work on all those shows.
- 7:29Michelle Gauthier: Okay, and I was picturing you being an executive, like signing off on things and choosing the project, but sitting in your office.
- 7:36Michelle Gauthier: But you're saying you were like reading the scripts and looking over the actors and very involved with it.
- 7:46Jackie de Crinis: Yeah, we're there from pitch, so from pitch of the kernel of the idea until the very last episode.
- 7:50Jackie de Crinis: So when you're in that business you eat, breathe and sleep that business.
- 7:53Jackie de Crinis: So it is not 9 to 5 or 8 to 6 or it's not any of those things.
- 7:58Jackie de Crinis: It is from the moment you wake up you start answering.
- 8:02Jackie de Crinis: I mean, now, with technology, maybe not initially, but when, before PDF and before digital, video, and before iPhones, I used to get scripts delivered, my master bedroom was by the front door.
- 8:20Jackie de Crinis: And you would hear all night long scripts being thrown to the front door, 2 am, 4 am, 6 am, 7 am and then I had to have them all read by my first meeting at 10.
- 8:26Jackie de Crinis: So that's what I mean by you never had a break.
- 8:29Jackie de Crinis: You went to sleep with a script in your hand.
- 8:31Jackie de Crinis: You woke up and you were reading scripts while you're nursing your baby or trying to get your kids off to school.
- 8:37Jackie de Crinis: And then you worked seven days a week.
- 8:41Michelle Gauthier: Okay, that sounds horrible.
- 8:42Michelle Gauthier: I hope you made millions of dollars for all of that hassle.
- 8:53Michelle Gauthier: So at what point did that - it was working and you were probably perfectly managing it and overthinking but getting it right and leading these shows that were doing so well, so when did it stop working, so to speak?
- 9:02Jackie de Crinis: So when I turned 40, I got married to my second husband.
- 9:06Jackie de Crinis: We got married, we got pregnant, we bought a house, all the things, and I went back to work from my longest maternity leave of my three kids it was 12 weeks which was like, oh, this is luxurious, because my first one was six weeks.
- 9:21Jackie de Crinis: So I go back to work and I talk about this in the book, but I'm in a pitch meeting, so a writer's coming in to pitch her idea and I could not understand what they were saying, she and her husband.
- 9:34Jackie de Crinis: Her husband was going to end up doing the writing.
- 9:36Jackie de Crinis: I honestly was as if they were speaking Mandarin.
- 9:39Jackie de Crinis: I was like, wait, this doesn't sound like English, I can't follow along.
- 9:46Jackie de Crinis: At this point I had been working in television, so I was 40, I had been in it for more than 15 years, maybe 18, 19 years.
- 9:53Jackie de Crinis: So I had heard hundreds, if not thousands, of pitches.
- 9:56Jackie de Crinis: I was in charge of the department.
- 9:58Jackie de Crinis: I knew the writer.
- 9:58Jackie de Crinis: Like I could not figure out what was happening to my brain that I couldn't.
- 10:03Jackie de Crinis: It was like having - I don't know if I was having a stroke.
- 10:05Jackie de Crinis: Yeah, I'm like, am I having a stroke?
- 10:10Jackie de Crinis: And then I finally just had to kind of wrap up the meeting because it wasn't constructive, whatever they were saying or whatever, I couldn't understand.
- 10:18Jackie de Crinis: I was not able to participate and so I sort of scurried them out of my office.
- 10:22Jackie de Crinis: I said we'll get back to you with our thoughts later.
- 10:25Jackie de Crinis: And I turned to my team and I was like hey guys, did anybody turn the air conditioning off in the building?
- 10:29Jackie de Crinis: And it's December, so there's just airflow.
- 10:32Jackie de Crinis: I'm on the 14th floor of some massive building and they're like I don't think so.
- 10:35Jackie de Crinis: And I'm like do you smell something weird?
- 10:36Jackie de Crinis: I literally thought there was poison coming in from the vents, oh my gosh.
- 10:42Jackie de Crinis: And they're like I don't think so.
- 10:44Jackie de Crinis: Are you okay?
- 10:45Jackie de Crinis: And I'm like I don't think so.
- 10:47Jackie de Crinis: I think I'm going to leave early and it was like six o'clock at night, which is like leaving early, and so I get down to my car and I get outside and I can't catch my breath.
- 10:57Jackie de Crinis: I got a hold of myself but like the next day it kind of happened again a little bit, and then the next day it happened, and then, like two weeks later I was having a physical and my physical was perfect, like everything checked out.
- 11:05Jackie de Crinis: And I'm like, did you check my lungs and my throat?
- 11:08Jackie de Crinis: And he was like there's nothing in your throat.
- 11:11Jackie de Crinis: And I'm like I think there is and I literally thought I was choking and I thought that my lungs were like something was wrong, or my thyroid, and it turns out I was having massive panic attacks.
- 11:22Jackie de Crinis: Oh my gosh.
- 11:24Michelle Gauthier: I really think that our bodies, like our brain, tries to tell us this is too much, and when we don't listen, our body just gets our attention somehow I swear.
- 11:34Michelle Gauthier: I mean, how many times have you heard that story with your own clients?
- 11:38Michelle Gauthier: I've definitely Different versions.
- 11:40Michelle Gauthier: I have my own version of that story.
- 11:42Michelle Gauthier: It's like anybody who is like us, like the hard driving, perfectionist people, pleaser.
- 11:47Michelle Gauthier: Working so hard it just gets to a point where you literally can't do it anymore.
- 11:51Michelle Gauthier: So then what?
- 11:55Jackie de Crinis: So then I just kind of cobbled it together and my husband kept saying this job's going to kill you, and I'm like, and he was like we have to start thinking about an exit strategy.
- 12:06Jackie de Crinis: And the exit strategy was both geographical, but financial, but creative, but also long-term planning, because I had two little kids from my prior marriage and I've got this new baby and I can't just pick up and leave, I can't stop working.
- 12:19Jackie de Crinis: I didn't have the resources to do any of that, but that was actually was our impetus a few years later to buy a home in Maui with the intention of eventually retiring here, and so it was a little bit of a stretch, like, oh, this will be our vacation.
- 12:36Jackie de Crinis: Now we have this place and we'll just go and that's where we'll vacation and that's where we'll do.
- 12:39Jackie de Crinis: And then, a few years later, he said why don't you ask if you can telecommute?
- 12:46Jackie de Crinis: Why don't you ask if you can work for Maui?
- 12:48Jackie de Crinis: And nobody did this.
- 12:49Jackie de Crinis: This is like 2009.
- 12:50Jackie de Crinis: And so I asked my then boss and he was like we can try it for six months.
- 12:56Jackie de Crinis: That was.
- 12:57Jackie de Crinis: I broke a three-year contract to try it for six months and I telecommuted for almost five years.
- 13:02Jackie de Crinis: Oh, wow, yeah, and it worked and then they brought me back for a bigger job.
- 13:11Jackie de Crinis: I was there for three more years and I said this is the last contract.
- 13:13Jackie de Crinis: And so then in 2016, I said I'm leaving TV and I'm moving back to Maui.
- 13:17Jackie de Crinis: And I did.
- 13:18Jackie de Crinis: And then it was like, okay, well, now what?
- 13:20Jackie de Crinis: And I was an independent producer for a little bit and then in 2019, I was like I got to figure out my life because I'm basically out of the television business, which I was happy about.
- 13:29Jackie de Crinis: I was so happy, but I still was very young, I was still in my 50s, I still had three little girls or teens.
- 13:35Jackie de Crinis: I got to figure out like, what am I gonna do for the next 30 years?
- 13:38Jackie de Crinis: And it was weird.
- 13:39Jackie de Crinis: When I had time and space away from 70-hour work weeks and commuting and all the things, I started to see the world in color instead of in black and white.
- 13:50Jackie de Crinis: That's when I kind of went on this walkabout or I call it my gap year, where I took yoga certification courses and I started reading and I started meditating and I started doing a blog and like all the things that sounded interesting that I could never do because I never had time and I told my husband.
- 14:07Jackie de Crinis: I need one year.
- 14:09Jackie de Crinis: Not that I was asking his permission, but I was going to live off my savings for one year to see what could come out of that year.
- 14:16Jackie de Crinis: And what came out of that year was coaching.
- 14:19Jackie de Crinis: And I was like, okay, this makes sense.
- 14:22Jackie de Crinis: I can take my love of yoga, my love of meditation, my love of reading, my love of writing, my love of psychology.
- 14:27Jackie de Crinis: I have a degree in psychology, my 33 years in corporate television, and I can put it all into bringing peace and space and work-life balance to others who are struggling because they don't have healthy habits, which is what I didn't have.
- 14:43Michelle Gauthier: Yes, yes, oh my gosh, what a great comeback story.
- 14:47Michelle Gauthier: It's so great that you were able to take that gap year.
- 15:14Michelle Gauthier: I find so often that people are just like, I just can't.
- 14:47Michelle Gauthier: I have little kids, I can't stop working.
- 15:20Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, but I think even when you're in that position, there's little things you can do along the way.
- 15:26Michelle Gauthier: I think your example if you can't take a gap year right now that idea of just following what sounds fun, even just reading a book is such a win, I think.
- 15:39Michelle Gauthier: So that's great, all right, so tell us about your book! As soon as
- 15:43Jackie de Crinis: So I have a podcast called the Overthinker's Guide to Joy and I've always wanted to write a book and I've had two blogs.
- 15:48Jackie de Crinis: Now I have my professional blog, which is just Jackie DeCrenis Life Coach, and then I had this other blog, which I no longer write for, but that was called 52 Mondays.
- 15:57Jackie de Crinis: But so I had been writing for years and I'm like I want to write a book.
- 16:02Jackie de Crinis: I want to put it all in a book and a lot of my listeners and clients would say I wish there was a book form of your podcast.
- 16:10Jackie de Crinis: I wish that I could just flip to a page and remind myself what was that episode.
- 16:14Jackie de Crinis: And I didn't want to just transcribe the podcast, because the podcast is the podcast and that's not a book.
- 16:20Jackie de Crinis: It's a podcast or conversations or they're solo casts, but they're not written or intended to be in book form.
- 16:27Michelle Gauthier: Yes, it would be weird if you just only read the transcript.
- 16:31Jackie de Crinis: Totally weird and I thought, okay, I'm just going to start from scratch and write down I don't know, 10, 12, 15, 20, I wasn't sure how many chapters.
- 16:42Jackie de Crinis: Very short, very digestible chapters of all the things I coach on in my sort of basic practice.
- 16:49Jackie de Crinis: Not the specificity for the individuals, because obviously every individual is different, every circumstance is different, yeah, but just kind of my go-to.
- 16:56Jackie de Crinis: This is how I now live, this is how I eat, this is how I drink, this is how I exercise.
- 17:01Jackie de Crinis: And I thought I'm going to create a little handbook so that people who maybe have never heard of me or can't afford private coaching or don't want to be coached, but they want to read something that's easy and digestible, like a reader's digest version of coaching.
- 17:17Jackie de Crinis: So I wrote this book and then my editor said well, what are you going to call it?
- 17:20Jackie de Crinis: And I'm like, oh, I don't know what am I going to call it.
- 17:23Jackie de Crinis: And then I realized I love my title of my podcast, the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, and that's kind of my brand.
- 17:29Jackie de Crinis: So why wouldn't I create a handbook of the same title?
- 17:32Jackie de Crinis: Because then it's just kind of one brand, yeah.
- 17:35Jackie de Crinis: So that's how I came up with the title and then the book came out on October 15th, like two weeks ago, and so when people are like, oh, you wrote a book and I always say I wrote a handbook, meaning it's very thin, it's paperback.
- 17:47Jackie de Crinis: It's a super fast, easy read, but it's also a read you could do like one chapter at a time, which would take you like two minutes, and the whole book is a two hour or two and a half hour read.
- 17:58Michelle Gauthier: First of all, I love that and I think that let's say, people pleasing, let's just choose that as a topic.
- 18:04Michelle Gauthier: If someone finds themselves in the position where they're about to people please, or they know they're going to be with someone where they normally people please.
- 18:12Michelle Gauthier: I love the idea that they can just like grab the book, read the chapter and give themselves a little bit of help, even if they've heard your whole podcast episode on it, or even coached with you or coached with someone else.
- 18:22Michelle Gauthier: That's so nice.
- 18:23Michelle Gauthier: Just to have like a go-to handbook, that just to have like a go-to handbook.
- 18:25Jackie de Crinis: That's so sweet of you to say, and that is a perfect analysis.
- 18:29Jackie de Crinis: I was going to tell you a little anecdote.
- 18:31Jackie de Crinis: So I'm not a great sleeper.
- 18:33Jackie de Crinis: I wasn't a great sleeper when I was an executive because I was highly anxious, so I had trouble falling asleep.
- 18:38Jackie de Crinis: But I was a good sleeper once I fell asleep because I was exhausted.
- 18:42Jackie de Crinis: And then, as I got older, because of all kinds of things which many of your audience will probably know, perimenopause and menopause affects your sleep in a different way.
- 18:50Jackie de Crinis: A sweaty way, a sweaty way, yeah, but you just have different - it's just different hormonal challenges that affect your sleep and then also different stages of life.
- 19:03Jackie de Crinis: So now I don't have too much trouble falling asleep, unless I travel and then I have jet lag and all those things.
- 19:11Jackie de Crinis: But I wake up quite a lot in the middle of the night and I have to make sure that I don't - my hyperactive self doesn't get out of bed and start doing because that's what I would like to do, but that's not productive for your body.
- 19:20Jackie de Crinis: Your body actually needs to rest whether you're sleeping or not.
- 19:23Jackie de Crinis: And so I was away promoting my book last week in California and I was having trouble sleeping because I was jet lagged, because we're three hours behind.
- 19:31Jackie de Crinis: So one in the morning is only 10 o'clock my time, right, so I'm like up, so I'm calling my husband to stay tonight and I'm like I'm having trouble falling asleep.
- 19:39Jackie de Crinis: I'm amped up from seeing lots of people and signing books and talking to people and seeing old friends and family.
- 19:45Jackie de Crinis: And he goes oh, you should get this little green book.
- 19:48Jackie de Crinis: There's a chapter on that.
- 19:50Jackie de Crinis: It's called the Over..
- 19:51Jackie de Crinis: .
- 19:51Jackie de Crinis: So now the running joke is, every time I say I'm having trouble falling asleep, he goes there's a book where there's a chapter on that.
- 19:58Michelle Gauthier: I love it.
- 19:59Michelle Gauthier: That's so cute, oh my gosh.
- 20:01Michelle Gauthier: So what is your favorite chapter in there?
- 20:05Jackie de Crinis: It's really interesting because I recorded it for Audible.
- 20:08Jackie de Crinis: I noticed and I had never.
- 20:11Jackie de Crinis: I mean, obviously I do a podcast every week, but reading your own book is different than doing a podcast.
- 20:16Michelle Gauthier: Yeah that would be weird.
- 20:17Jackie de Crinis: It's weird, it's really weird.
- 20:19Jackie de Crinis: And you're not allowed to change anything.
- 20:21Jackie de Crinis: You can't change one word because Audible has an algorithm that everything has to match exactly and I didn't know that.
- 20:27Jackie de Crinis: I thought I was like, oh well, it's okay if I just the sound engineer is like, oh no, you cannot do that, it has to be exactly as written.
- 20:34Jackie de Crinis: So I can say that certain chapters were very hard for me to read.
- 20:37Jackie de Crinis: My backstory about television and my challenges with being overwhelmed and having panic attacks was really hard to read out loud because it's a very vulnerable place and it's very real, but it's also like a million years ago.
- 20:52Jackie de Crinis: But it's not a million years ago, it's like yes.
- 20:54Jackie de Crinis: So that was very difficult.
- 20:56Jackie de Crinis: And then probably the chapter on meet your inner critic was a very difficult read for me because I identify who my inner critic was and how I carried that through to all my perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies for the rest of my life.
- 21:12Jackie de Crinis: So I'd say my hardest chapters are my favorite chapters.
- 21:15Jackie de Crinis: Does that make sense?
- 21:16Michelle Gauthier: Yes, that's what I was going to ask you.
- 21:18Michelle Gauthier: So does that mean they're your favorites, because maybe they'll be most impactful?
- 21:22Michelle Gauthier: I think every time we get the most vulnerable and share our real truth, it always helps other people so much.
- 21:29Michelle Gauthier: I think so.
- 21:30Jackie de Crinis: I don't know if that's where the best advice is.
- 21:34Jackie de Crinis: I think the advice is in the other chapters.
- 21:36Jackie de Crinis: I'm just saying for me that was the one where it's like I'm a real person.
- 21:41Jackie de Crinis: Ai didn't write this book.
- 21:42Jackie de Crinis: Everything in this book is my story and really how I coach, and the recommendations I make in the book are things I do every day.
- 21:50Jackie de Crinis: It's not like I heard this was good advice or I read this was good advice.
- 21:55Michelle Gauthier: Yes, and I think too a lot of times if somebody just met your current self like I met your current self since you've been a life coach and whatever and it's like man, look at her, she's fit, she lives in Hawaii, she's got this great life, this handsome husband.
- 22:11Michelle Gauthier: So for people to know, it wasn't always just great like this I wasn't always doing yoga on the beach in Hawaii.
- 22:18Michelle Gauthier: I was having panic attacks in an office, being a director and all that kind of stuff.
- 22:24Michelle Gauthier: I just think it's really helpful for people to know that, because if they're more in that category right now, versus doing yoga on the beach in Hawaii, then it's just good for them to know that they too can change and feel so much better.
- 22:40Jackie de Crinis: 100%.
- 22:40Jackie de Crinis: And the other thing I will say about, like you know and there's a line in the book which I didn't make up, it's a very famous one, but no matter where you go there you are.
- 22:47Jackie de Crinis: Moving to Hawaii was not a solution to anything.
- 22:51Jackie de Crinis: It's a beautiful place to live but, as I said to my sister the first year I moved here and I was still very stressed out and very stressed out that I was always going to lose my job for moving here, and very stressed out that I had all these little kids, and very stressed out that you know all the things, just me being me.
- 23:06Jackie de Crinis: I said you know what?
- 23:07Jackie de Crinis: I moved to paradise but I came with me and what I meant by that was so did my problems came with me.
- 23:18Jackie de Crinis: And that's what I would say to somebody like it's lovely to have a companion, it's lovely to live in a beautiful place, it's lovely to have a home and a job, but you have to work out your inner stuff before any of that is joyful either.
- 23:29Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, agreed, and I think that's one of the biggest things that I learned.
- 23:32Michelle Gauthier: And one of the biggest things that you and I both do in coaching is to help people, because you can quit that super stressful job but you'll just get another one and make that a super stressful job, or you can get divorced and just get remarried and recreate that same relationship.
- 23:47Michelle Gauthier: If you don't do that work on yourself, you're just finding new places to recreate those old patterns.
- 23:53Jackie de Crinis: When it's funny.
- 23:53Jackie de Crinis: I read all your blog posts because I love the way you write oh, thank you and I love your presentation of everything.
- 24:04Jackie de Crinis: You speak to me in so many ways and I think that was true when we met in our first coaching course.
- 24:07Jackie de Crinis: Together we took a program together and I gravitated to your energy, your words, your work, the work you do, because it was very much speaking to my style of coaching, but also how I like to ingest information just your writing style, your speaking style, and so I very much connect to you as a coach.
- 24:27Michelle Gauthier: Oh, thank you.
- 24:28Michelle Gauthier: Same to you.
- 24:29Michelle Gauthier: I feel like, if people floated around in a certain energy, we're on the same one, definitely.
- 24:34Michelle Gauthier: Yeah, we're in that same zone there, definitely.
- 24:37Michelle Gauthier: Oh my gosh, okay.
- 24:38Michelle Gauthier: So we know the name of your book the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, a handbook for overachievers, people pleasers and perfectionists.
- 24:45Michelle Gauthier: And you can get that on Amazon and there's an audible version.
- 24:50Michelle Gauthier: What else do we need to know about you?
- 24:53Jackie de Crinis: That is it.
- 24:53Jackie de Crinis: I mean you can follow me on Instagram at my name, Jackie de Crinis.
- 24:58Jackie de Crinis: You can follow me on Facebook, Jackie de Crinis, life Coach.
- 25:01Jackie de Crinis: You can buy the book, you can listen to the book.
- 25:03Jackie de Crinis: You can download the book.
- 25:05Jackie de Crinis: You can listen to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy podcast if you want to just hear a more expansive version.
- 25:11Jackie de Crinis: Again, it's not the same as the book, it is its own creation, and then if people want to work with me or have any questions, they can certainly go to my website and just click for a consultation and I'm happy to chat with anybody.
- 25:24Jackie de Crinis: But hopefully the biggest push for me right now is to get this book out there and get people either listening to it or reading it and then, if they like it or even if they don't, just leaving a review on Amazon or Audible will help get the word out to other people.
- 25:40Michelle Gauthier: Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
- 25:43Michelle Gauthier: I think you are the perfect person to talk to all the overwhelmed working women who are listening to the podcast.
- 25:48Michelle Gauthier: So thank you for sharing your story and your book.
- 25:50Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for having me.
- 25:52Michelle Gauthier: Thanks for joining today.
- 25:54Michelle Gauthier: Today we talked about several of the things that can cause overwhelm, overthinking being one of them, people pleasing being one of them, not saying no or saying yes too often All of those cause overwhelm.
- 26:05Michelle Gauthier: If you want to know exactly what is causing your overwhelm, did you know I have a free quiz that you can take?
- 26:10Michelle Gauthier: It's right on my website.
- 26:11Michelle Gauthier: I will put the link in the show notes, but if you just go to michellegauthiercom and then click on quiz, you'll see it there too.
- 26:18Michelle Gauthier: It will ask you about 10 questions.
- 26:20Michelle Gauthier: It probably takes less than five minutes and at the end it will tell you what the main cause of your overwhelm is.
- 26:25Michelle Gauthier: But not just leave you with that information.
- 26:27Michelle Gauthier: It will also give you suggestions.
- 26:29Michelle Gauthier: There are videos, worksheets and suggested podcasts for you to listen to, depending on what's creating your overwhelm.
- 26:36Michelle Gauthier: So, if you haven't already, check it out and find out what is beneath your overwhelm.
- 26:41Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 26:49Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthiercom.
- 26:55Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.