Latest / The Growth Project / Episode 358: Finding Your True North with Michelle Seaver

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Episode 358: Finding Your True North with Michelle Seaver · The Growth Project

• 0:00
  You.
• 0:03
  Welcome to the growth project. This is Doctor Milk. Louder. And the growth project. For those of you who may be new to this, is a podcast presented by employers.
• 0:12
  And we are performance psychology practice in Greenville, South Carolina, where our primary focus is to help you be better and pursue better. And what that means to us is to help you be better for the people and things that matter most in your life, while also pursuing the things that really matter. The things that continue to inspire you.
• 0:28
  We know that if the life you are leading in the work you're doing does not inspire you, it will not inspire anybody else. And today is a special treat for me. Our guest is Michelle Seaver. Michelle, welcome to the show.
• 0:41
  I thank you.
• 0:42
  I was reflecting back, obviously married, my best friend, David Seaver.
• 0:47
  I remember meeting you 32 years ago. We had different. We continue to have different loyalties. We're we're we're actually recording this during the Carolina Clemson week. Yeah. Which was a huge divide for us early on in our relationship a memory you, come into Clemson for Hootie and the Blowfish? I think you actually came back for the Carolina Clemson game in 1994.
• 1:08
  And and you were a big Carolina fan. I'm like, David, what? Like what? Like, let's think this through. I, I, one of the teams license plate on the front of their car for the rest of 1994. Did I do that or did you do that? Who won? Bet you are. That did good. Okay. I'm glad. You bet.
• 1:25
  David. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, we knew he was over. Like when he put it on the front of his car. I remember, like, I don't remember put that on my car. We knew we had lost David, that some things are more important than the rivalry, but hopefully we've outgrown, those differences. We can appreciate that.
• 1:42
  It's a fun part of life, but does it define us? Is still a really important. Yes, yes. You have, both daughters went to Carolina. Yes. And it. Yeah. It goes. Caitlin. Caitlin early on was a big Clemson fan. We had her for a long time. She really enjoyed the championship. Yes. In it for the SEC Championship. For getting to go to the Natty.
• 2:03
  That was really great. But we, pulled a few strings and provided her with the best visit to Carolina. Okay, but they didn't include the the SEC Championship or national championships. If I. You you couldn't win the tailgate. Yeah. Yes. That is important. That is important. But it's been, you know, the really cool part of life is as our life and we grow personally and professionally, but also get to see that not only in your growth and what you've accomplished professionally, but more so personally.
• 2:34
  And to watch your daughters grow. And Caitlin, call me more and more sweets when she was three years old in Kentucky. And so it's been a great kind of preparing for this, just to kind of go back in these moments in life and, and so today is a little bit about you and you're still wearing your experience and your leadership.
• 2:51
  And so, your career has been pretty fascinating to watch. And how you've used the gifts that you've been given and the opportunity in front of you to give back. And I think that kind of led you to United, to be involved in the community. And so, I want to make sure I got this right.
• 3:08
  You've been there for, what, 12.5 years and serve as a president for Greenville. Spartanburg, Cherokee.
• 3:16
  And so that involves what, as as president?
• 3:18
  the basic pieces when it oversees all customer facing activities in those markets. So Greenville, Spartanburg, and then Cherokee County is our Gaffney office. Oh, okay. Okay. Team is our branches and it's our commercial team.
• 3:31
  It's how we deliver to the customer. So before we get there, let's back up a little bit. And so again I didn't meet you to I think you were graduated and working at Carolina first.
• 3:39
  But from Greenville Modern High School on here. Okay, okay. And and so early on as, as you were learning from your parents and other experiences, how do you choose South Carolina?
• 3:51
  I don't even know what your major was. Accounting. What was this initial vision? What did you see for your career? Oh, well, I, I did not have this plan at all. I actually, wanted to be a mom. Yeah, that was that was my goal was to be a mom one day because I just came from such a solid family where family matters and family is super important.
• 4:13
  I was an accounting major because I liked numbers.
• 4:15
  Pre having children was an algebra teacher. Okay. We had an in-house tutor all the time, so I like that.
• 4:22
  It, there are equations, things that make sense. There are answers. I know you're surprised by that.
• 4:29
  But I like, Yeah, I like that they're to find answers.
• 4:34
  And I think that's important. As we talked about career, we had Kathy Ligon on last week talking about he found in the intersection of your purpose and your passion is where you find a meaningful career in life. And you say, I want to be a mom.
• 4:47
  What you are. But maybe you were visioning a stay at home mom is what you were thinking or, wasn't sure. Okay, I never probably, I just want to. That's what I grew up with. Okay? I think that's what I thought was, success. Which it absolutely is for me. I mean, there my family is at the center of everything.
• 5:05
  We're so fortunate that, both of our girls are in grade school right now, and we can't talk about marriage payment. Those girls are in rainbow right now. My parents live three miles away. Davis parents live? Yeah, a few more miles away than that. I mean, everybody is here. My sister lives two doors down. It's fantastic. Yeah. And so.
• 5:22
  But when did you start maybe seeing another opportunity, like that, that this professional side really started to materialize. So, I met laugh with my dad a lot about this. So, in college, we already reference Judy. Yeah, yeah. After my freshman year of college, I wanted to go to work at Hilton Head, just like everybody else was doing.
• 5:44
  And I work at this place called the Old Post office. Yeah. I mean, I thought that was just what you were supposed to do. And dad said, no, that doesn't work, that you've got to get a real job. So I, applied at some things. I thought, well, I can be a summer teller. Try to, in those days, it really you had to have a connection to get in?
• 6:02
  Yeah, even more so than today. And so our next door neighbors mother was Maxwell's assistant. So Mac was the CEO of Carolyn first. It started July 1st in Greenville all those years ago. It was a summer teller back in the day where you had to wear dresses and hose and heels every single day. So, you know, my friends are in town and fall on duty in the boulevard.
• 6:27
  And I work at, you know, an 8 to 5, 30 day and, you know, posing heels. And so then that was that was your freshman year. It was freshman. After your freshman year came, I was working somebody on maternity leave. So what a great experience that was. The bank at that time was only five branches. Oh, wow.
• 6:46
  So just an amazing experience. Came back the next summer to work and they would kind of put me in that CSR job, and I would just kind of went into, somebody asking what, we thought the primary was going to do, and I didn't even know what the crime rate. And I made something up. It was a little piece of paper around the desk.
• 7:05
  But I remember Jim Terry, the president of the Valley, walking by and hearing the conversation and coming back and explaining. What were you close to being accurate? Do you remember or do you know I don't?
• 7:17
  I don't remember all of that. But so they just kind of threw me in different opportunities. That last summer, I needed to, take one more class at Carolina and one of those really tough accounting classes that should be taken in the summer. And so they had just bought a bank in Columbia. And so they let me go to school in the morning, and then I'd get there by 11:00 and work the rest of the day.
• 7:39
  Oh, what did you work there the rest of your time at, at, in college, I mean, so some of you would work there. I would work there. In the beginning. I was just working for spring break. Okay. You know, I did like hundred dollar. But then after college, I went straight into their training program. So what do you think they saw when you at that time?
• 8:01
  What do you think they noticed about you that they wanted to continue to invest in you? So I think that, you know, I remember a conversation that I had with, with John about, you know, because I looked at people that were super, super smart and incredibly academic. And, you know, I probably wasn't quite that person. I was a little bit more well rounded.
• 8:21
  I, had leadership experience. I've been president of the story council at Carolina. So I think they saw that I could do both. Yeah. That, I can do those things that just can't be taught in school was a book that was told me, oh, that's good. It's really, I reflect on that a lot because some things you just can't teach people.
• 8:38
  Yeah. You got to be experience. And so leadership opportunities, high school, college. That's always been a part of who you are. Yes. I probably didn't know it at the time. Yeah. I remember being, you know, terrified when I was running for sorority council president and all the tough things that went with that. I can only imagine what that was like.
• 8:54
  Yeah. Back in the day, it's hard for me sometimes to believe that fraternities and sororities are still around, with some of the recurring challenges. And so then you early on, as a leader, how would you describe yourself looking back? How would you describe yourself as a leader back in those early days? You know, in the early days, I think I really was just trying to find myself.
• 9:12
  And I would say those early days are long. Yeah. Aren't just the 20s. Those are the 20s and the 30s. And I really, I remember a point in time when things changed and we can certainly talk about that whenever. But I remember those early days, you know, you're just shaped by every leader that you interact with. And I remember having tough days and talking to my parents.
• 9:31
  I'd be like, this is so terrible, I can't do this anymore. And I remember my dad saying he was an IBM lifer, okay, you know, came up and I, I don't know if I knew that. Yeah. So we moved wherever the job was that was their generation of I've been moved. So dad told me that I would learn just as much from the bad bosses.
• 9:50
  Yeah, as the really good ones. And so, you know, just taking a piece from each situation and trying to, pull it together into, you know, what I am, what I think. Yeah, that to me becomes a fully integrated human that you learn from the good, you learn from the bad. But one of my favorite quotes, you'll appreciate the NASCAR reference from Jimmie Johnson.
• 10:10
  You can't drive another man's car. And so you got to take it and make it your own, and kind of be authentic into who you are as a leader. Yes. And so, so many times of being with different people, you know, you try to adjust because you're thinking, okay, this is what I'm going to be or this is I'm going to try to be more like this.
• 10:28
  And, you know, you make it work. Yeah, yeah. So, the Carolina first, they had a program called Leaders Teaching Leaders, and they sent us to this week long, leadership training in San Diego. The girls were both little. I was crying by the end of the week. I'm against. I've ever been away from them. It was five days, but they had different authors, speaking to us, different business experts.
• 10:53
  I remember like the head of Hewlett Packard was there. I mean, it was a really big deal, but there was this one gentleman that spoke and his book, was called The True North. And, even if I still have my book today, it's highlighted in there because it gave me permission to be who I am. Yeah.
• 11:09
  So it talks about being, you know, finding that authentic leader and being focused on your true north. So I always make decisions based on what I thought was right, you know, and what felt good. And you know what wouldn't keep me up at night? Like it had to, it had to feel good, as in my. Yeah. And what I like about, like I always say, when you give yourself permission to be human and to be who you were created be, you give other people permission to do the same.
• 11:34
  Yes. And nobody's perfect. Yeah. I can't be all those little pieces along the way. It doesn't mean that I've got it right. You know, we are constantly evolving and getting better every day. We'll never master this. But we keep pursuing it. Yeah, we keep pursuing it. So. So when did I. And so I think there are especially early on, becoming a strong leader, female leader in the banking industry.
• 11:58
  I don't know the industry that well, but I imagine there were maybe not a whole lot of female leaders when you started. And you've got this idea of, hey, I want to be a mom. And that's most important. This career was maybe supporting you. How do you start? Kind of, finding peace? Well, I think peace is just evolves over time, you know, that being a mom piece is just where I wanted to eventually get.
• 12:22
  Yeah, but I knew that I had to, I guess I knew that I had to achieve these things along the way. I've had so many great people in my life that have given me wonderful opportunities. You know, I think back again to this Carolina first days and being a year out of college and being a loan executive with the United Way, which is where they would send you out to the community to be an ambassador for the United Way and all these companies, starting leadership.
• 12:47
  Greenville I was 24 years old. It was class 24 when I was in Leadership Greenville. I think I was, if not the youngest, the second youngest person. And, you know, to see where that program is today. Yeah. You know, it's just it's amazing to think that I had that opportunity at that at that age to have exposure. So, so many opportunities given to me through the years really has, made this evolve.
• 13:11
  So what did that teach you early on about giving back, being a part of the community? Because because if I look as I don't get this right. So now you're on the board of Prisma Health artist Fear Greenville Chamber, you're the incoming chair there.
• 13:23
  the South Carolina jobs and, say that Jeddah that is Jeddah OIC Jeddah, Genesis Jobs and Economic Development Authority U.S alumni. So USA alumni Association, Greenville Tech Foundation. You know that in and of itself seems like full time work, but was that community desire to serve the community?
• 13:43
  Was that born early on at leadership? Greenville, out of being a loan executive or where that desire to give back to the community come from? So I think it starts really early. And I think even, you know, we talk about our sorority fraternity life during college. We probably didn't realize the seeds that were being planted at that time.
• 14:01
  You know, the little things of having to bake cookies at the wrong house or, you know, doing a jump, a barn outside of the Russell house, all those pieces, I think, prepare you for the right time to do the certain roles. Yeah. So jumping out there with the United Way, that was just such a great opportunity and it was such a big deal at the time, to get to to do that.
• 14:22
  And, I think that taught me that we had to give back. And I think being a part of that Carolina first culture, of being a part of the community really shaped me into, what what I do. Yeah. And so United Community Bank, I mean, so, so the focus and purpose, of the community bank, how was that maybe different from some of your previous experiences, or maybe what sets you guys apart in terms of being a part of the community?
• 14:50
  So, being a part of United Community is just it's so natural for me. And I just, I love every bit of it. I love going to work every day. Being a part of a bank that values the community is important for me. Yeah, that makes it a good fit for me. It's not going to be a great fit for everybody, and that's okay.
• 15:08
  But having, you know, we're a $28 billion bank located in six states. Well, the largest headquartered bank in the state of South Carolina and headquarters is right here in Greenville, South Carolina. I am super proud of that. And to get to have this organization that, gives local decision making and really let the local markets shape who they are in each of our markets in these six states with a common purpose.
• 15:34
  Yeah, executing locally is it's just so special. So how do you do that then? Because I think creativity within structure is what leads to freedom. And so there's a common together for good. Hey here's why we do what we do. But but even being headquartered in Greenville, you're the president of Greenville. Spartanburg, Cherokee County. How do you what does that look like?
• 15:54
  How do you let them find their own expression of ideas, their own expression of what it means to be a part of this bank in the community. So, with us being headquartered, you know, there's vision is vision and the strategic, the strategic vision is, set, by Lynn Arden, our CEO. But then he gives it to us to execute locally because it's not going to be the same everywhere.
• 16:14
  Yeah. Even in our building, while the, office part of the building is mostly headquarter functions, we have our own separate section of the building, which I think is, oh that's great. Yeah. So everybody customer facing is right there together. So you know there's lots of cultures within cultures I feel like because we are right here in Greenville, ours is probably a little bit closer aligned.
• 16:37
  But you know, wanting people to feel, important and heard and to feel a part of their organization is important. And, you know, they can get lost even being, you know. Yeah. So we, we joke around, so we celebrate all the things, all the small milestones, which are big milestones to people, you know, just not five year anniversaries of working at the bank.
• 16:59
  And with so many people that have been there for a really long time. I mean, there are people that have been the bank for 30 years. Oh, well,
• 17:06
  maybe even 35 years in our group. There's a core of us that have been together for 12 years. Is that one? Yeah. So what what made you just so this is kind of off topic of you, but what made United come to headquarter in Greenville?
• 17:19
  What made them say this is a community we want to serve and be a part of? Yeah. So the bank was headquartered in Blairsville, Georgia and a Leonhart and our CEO, left his previous position to go and work for United. He did not he wanted to stay in Greenville, okay, with his wife and so, that's how.
• 17:39
  Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. And so I talked to him for about nine months about, coming over to United. I had a great job. Nothing wrong at all. I actually got stranded in the airport. Was really, the really the straw that made me. Oh, traveling so much. Traveling so much. The girls were in elementary school.
• 17:57
  Middle school I didn't like. I've had it down where I could get to, the destination and back in one day. But I was starting to miss volleyball games and cheer practice. And those things, you know, are foundational to, You know what? I wanted my life. Yeah. Yeah. And and I love how you've been able to create that.
• 18:15
  So you talked about cultures within culture. If I got this right, you guys have won the JD, power, customer appreciation or customer satisfaction? Retail customers number one for 11 years. Years. Okay, so so how do you do that? How do you mean? Across the southeast, across six different states, all these different communities. How do you emphasize this is why we do what we do.
• 18:39
  So we talk a lot about being legendary. And we want to be legendary. Legendary for our customers, for our employees, and for our community. So what is legendary for employees look like? Well, in 2024 was our eighth year for being best things to work for. You know, we want to be a place where people want to come to work every day of the building that we've referenced a couple of times.
• 19:00
  Downtown is the first well certified building in the state of South Carolina. We hear a lot about Leed certification. That's, more about the environment. Well, well, it's about the health and well-being of the people that come to work every day. So we started building this building during Covid when nobody was going to work. Yeah, we were always going to work.
• 19:19
  But, you know, other businesses were staying home. So you've got this building that's built for the people that work there. Sounds kind of normal that, you know, should be built for the people that work. Yeah. No. Lot of details that are about, you know, there's access to to outdoor terraces, access to the Swamp Rabbit trail, workstations along the outside of the building, which allows the light to come in.
• 19:41
  People are happier when they have access to light. There's a the river room, which is our fourth floor. Really? Gathering space is a place for people from all over the building can come together. So somebody from facilities might have no interaction with somebody from audit, but they can. Yeah. They might come to lecture. Yeah. And the research just supports this.
• 19:59
  I mean, if you've listened to our podcast, Gallup said the global workforce, what the best practice organizations in the world do today to drive engagement of their employees is they find the harmony between well-being and performance. We care about who you are, and we care about what you do, and one of the other does not, is not sufficient.
• 20:20
  And so, hey, we're going to and we're going to put in it sounds like if I get this, we're going to be consistent with that, that we care about who you are. And it's easy to care about our customers. But but it's got to start from the inside out. It's got to start. So being legendary is about what I take care of our employees.
• 20:35
  Yeah. Want them to come to work, want to come to work. And we want them to be happy. So we do things like quarterly calls. We do, employee surveys. And really, after we get the information back, then we put together action plan. Yeah. And then we implement it and we share with them that we've heard them, little things like, you know, the last one that just came out with some of the branches wanted a clothing allowance where that they could buy United branded, shirts to wear in the branches.
• 21:05
  So that's something that's coming out in 2026. So listening to what people are saying is really important because you can take a survey all day long. Yeah. And do nothing with it. Or the people don't know that you're dealing with it. So communication, hearing our team, we have employee Appreciation Day the third week in October, where across the entire company, one day we focus on appreciating our employees.
• 21:29
  Yeah. And so that looks a little bit different everywhere, but, it's, it's a focus that this is our day. And so I think that's that's the other like you said, it's easy to give a survey, but if we don't act on the information or we don't know we've heard the information, it's better not to give it. Right.
• 21:44
  Exactly. Because it creates so much frustrate what I've told you. And they never listen. Yeah. And it creates this huge disconnect between the people in the field, the people that are customer facing and the headquarter office. And so how do you bridge that gap between you mentioned facilities or you mentioned the teller and you being at headquarters or you being the president.
• 22:03
  How do you bridge the gap that we're all on the same team? Well, I think it's about constant communication. It's being real with people. It's, interacting. It's getting to know them and finding out what's important to them. Like, I know what's important to me. Like, even we do these, personality tests where, we learn how to work with our team.
• 22:22
  So, I have a new employee on our team, and she she's fabulous, by the way. So excited to have her. But it helps us work better together, so I know what drives her or what. Yeah. Type of personality she has and what makes her feel valued and important. And there's even a document that shows how we can work better together.
• 22:42
  She can say that, you know, Michelle may feel this way when you talk to her this way, helps you. I may have an idea of what some of that is like. Yeah. Yeah. And and vice versa. Yeah. Okay. You know, we think we're communicating, but it's just maybe we're communicating in a way that we want to be communicated to.
• 23:02
  Yes. We, we laugh a lot that, we have one teammate that needs to talk it out. When she's dressed, she's going to talk. And we talk about this all the time. And I might close up a little bit. You just need to process. And then I might say, let's put a pin in that and let's talk about you.
• 23:17
  Yeah. And what I think is so helpful about that, Nelson Mandela said, when you speak to someone in your language, it goes to their head, you speak in their language, it goes to their heart and we think what it really does. Because when you do a lot of those surveys and assessments as well, it helps you label behaviors and sort of label people.
• 23:33
  Yeah. And if I label people, that sets limits on my ability to lead them, connect with them, encourage them to find out what's important to them. And I hear you're leading with that, that it's more about them than is about you. And I think it takes a long time to, you know, not everybody gets that. Yeah, that you've got to be, in a position where you can let go of that and not make it about you.
• 23:56
  So I, I think we all do that. Right. Like, especially early on the stress, what I think makes you selfish and the pressure to perform the profession, the pressure to know everything. How did you work on removing that ego? From that, you know, I think it's just practice. You know, I think in the beginning it is all about you because you're trying to succeed you.
• 24:17
  You're trying to get the next job, and you don't want to be forgotten and you want to be included. I remember somebody saying to me one time because I didn't get included in something, they're like, what would you really have done that? I'm like, well, no, I wouldn't go.
• 24:32
  But I just, I think it's practice. Yeah, it takes practice and you've got to get comfortable in yourself also. And it takes a while to get comfortable in yourself and your own skin to realize that the people around you are more important. Like you need to sacrifice for others. Yeah. So that the team is better together. Oh, I love that.
• 24:50
  And I think it does. We're in this constant state of comparison in this constant world of expectations. And and you've broken through some of those expectations and stereotypes, especially in the industry. How have you not let that set limits on what you can accomplish in being a a great wife and being a great mom and being a great leader and being involved.
• 25:13
  How have you broken through some of those barriers about being a strong female leader in the industry? Yes. I don't think that way. I don't think about, you know, people ask that. Yeah. I just don't think of that. I don't think about, whether someone is male or female on whether or not they're going to be a good board candidate or whether or not they're going to be a good employee.
• 25:32
  I want the best people around us. And so I want to be that best person for somebody, regardless if I'm got a child in tow or, you know. Yeah. I, responsibilities at home are, you know, we've talked so much about over the years about work life balance. You know, that's been such a theme in the world.
• 25:52
  And, you know, I don't know if that completely exists or not, but I want my team to feel like they can. Yeah. Yeah, I, I think the word work life balance always reminds me that I'm out of balance. And so somebody brought up to me, not long ago that what we're really striving for is harmony. That work life harmony.
• 26:10
  And I love that so much better. It kind of gives me some, some permission to find that harmony, because work life balance, if I'm honest in my life, it's more work than than life. Sometimes. And. Yeah, yeah, you can't separate it. And we used to be in theme. So much of separating at all. Yeah. You do have to find like that harmony.
• 26:30
  Oh, good. Yeah I do, I do like that harmony because that's what we're striving for. And so with that, if you look about and so wait, I don't want to forget that. But I do think we had Kathie Lee going on last week about her starting her business and back when females were not. So I'm not saying you think that way, but definitely.
• 26:47
  But were you mindful of that in 1994 and 95, that maybe there weren't a lot of female leaders or a lot of people in this industry where you're aware of that or you just kind of. I don't think I was aware of it. Yeah, I think I just jumped in and worked hard and tried to be the best I could be.
• 27:05
  Yeah. And that, you know, I don't know how many times I said this proverb on our podcast, but, 22 nine says, do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings, they will not serve before obscure people. And so in my mind, what I hear you saying is male and I just and you mentioned earlier off air, how can I add value?
• 27:24
  How can I be the best that I can be? How can I demonstrate, my skill? How can I use what I have to make other people better? Absolutely. You know, we have so many young people on our team, and when we meet with them, you know, it's our responsibility to help them prepare for their next job. You know, I think that this generation is always looking at, you know, what's next.
• 27:44
  Yeah. And I remember somebody saying to me years ago, well, don't you want to be a market president? And I'm like, it's never crossed my mind. You know, I said, I just want to be the best I can be at this job, and that I feel like the opportunities present themselves. So when I'm talking to our teammates, I'll say, be the best you can be at the job you're doing right now.
• 28:04
  You know, master it be great and opportunities will present themselves absolutely skilled in your work. And so, so okay, I'm I'll make you uncomfortable here. So what does that mean to you being the best that you can be at this job. Like what does that require of you? What does that look like? Well, some weeks are tougher than others.
• 28:26
  You know, during the day, I feel like sometimes I'm so overscheduled. Yeah. Can't get the other stuff done. So it means I might come in a little bit early. Can I do like that? Maybe an hour before everybody else gets to work where I can. Just not. Something's off. I like a to do list. It keeps me like I'm in the middle of the night.
• 28:44
  And then really that time at the end of the day to kind of clean up, so it might mean that I'm giving a lot to others during the day, during a traditional workday, but I've got to carve out a little bit of getting it a little bit at the end to clean up. Yeah. And I think, you know, our belief is you got to at least have some capability of leading yourself before you lead others.
• 29:06
  And so how can you? What I hear is how can I get my mind right? How can I have some peace and quiet to think Jim Roan and that Jim Rome Jim Rohn said the greatest ability of any leaders, the ability to think and then disengage. So being the best that I can be, I love this idea of being legendary.
• 29:24
  All the roles that you play, we mentioned, you know, president, we mentioned board chair, we mentioned community. We mentioned, parent, we mentioned mom, we mentioned wife. How do you find the energy or the like to be the best that you can be in all those roles? You know, it doesn't mean I'm great at them every day.
• 29:44
  Yeah. Suffer, when something else is getting a little bit more attention. And I've had to give myself forgiveness that, like, I remember when the girls were little, I finally had to give myself, the okay to leave dishes in the sink. Yeah. You know, those those dishes being in the sink overnight is not gonna.
• 30:04
  It's not gonna be the end of the world. They'll still be there tomorrow, and I can deal with them tomorrow. So forgiveness to, you know, make some mistakes. You know, we talked about during the day and, you know, I think about people coming into my office and they're like, I know you're really busy, but. And I'm like, everybody's busy.
• 30:21
  Yeah. You know, everybody has their business or they have, the work that they're working on. And so I tried really hard to focus on, you know, what can I do, you know, can I help you? Or someone's coming in right before and says, I know you're busy, but I'm sure, like, five minutes I'm trying to prepare to to go out to a meeting, but what the hell.
• 30:39
  Yeah.
• 30:40
  how do you walk that fine line as a leader? Because I hear you're like, hey, I know you're busy, but I hear that all the time. It's like, one goal of mine is for people to quit saying that I don't. Yeah. One thing I can, I can, I can create busyness. I know I can do that, but but how do you find that fine line between empowerment and enablement that, hey, I know you're busy, but how how do you find the margin to say, okay, you can solve this problem?
• 31:07
  I don't need to solve this problem. So I think sometimes if you can tell us, if you know, you know, what they're typically coming or what's going on. And I think, not just solving the problem, but helping them solve the problem, I think that's something that I've learned from great managers in the years, not just asking for the answer, but then requiring me to think.
• 31:28
  Also, you know, sometimes we just want the answer. We want to move on from that and go to the next task. But making you accountable to make your own decisions, I think is helpful. So leading somebody to that decision. Yeah, it is giving me. Yeah. If I'm making the decision for you, what I'm really robbing you of is the confidence to make the decision.
• 31:48
  Absolutely not. Absolutely been gifted with that. But in my life, meaning that somebody has allowed me to make the decision. Yeah, that's been a gift to me. Instead of, you know, I just want that answer. I love that scene as a gift. Abraham Lincoln said, don't ever do something for somebody they can do for themselves. And we had our clinical practice and we saw a bunch of adolescents, they would walk in, I'm like, hey, well, what's the biggest problem?
• 32:13
  And they said, my parents don't trust me. I'm like, well, how do you know they don't trust you? It's like, well, they do everything for me. Yeah. And so if they're getting it as adolescents, same thing for the people that work for us. If we're doing everything for them, the underlying message is, hey, I don't believe you have what it takes.
• 32:31
  And that's why I think you see it as a gift, because somebody saw something in you was like, hey, I believe you have what it takes. I trust you can make this decision. I trust you can figure this out and how much that led to confidence in your life. Absolutely. Yeah. So so I love forgiveness I forgiveness leads a freedom.
• 32:49
  I love permission to hey we aren't going to get it perfect. But all these different roles. How was that kind of help shape your view of leadership? I think it's given me so many opportunities to lead in different, and different organizations, different opportunities, different get you out of your comfort zone with something maybe you don't know every day.
• 33:10
  My first floor chair position was, when I worked at Carolina first, and, I went to be on the board of the South Carolina Children's Theater. Yeah. And, you know, as a banker, you always get to be the treasurer at some point.
• 33:23
  They have never asked me to be a treasurer on anything.
• 33:29
  You know, so I think learning how to use your skills in a different environment is really helpful. And the different challenges, instead of just being on the maybe the receiving end of the financials, but the one that has to, to help somebody, run this piece. Yeah. So the children's there was a great you know, I didn't and, nobody in our family is necessarily gifted.
• 33:56
  Well, in my family, that definitely has a voice. You the acting piece or whatever. You know, we don't have that gift, but, you know, we can use our gifts differently. So that was, really the first opportunity that I had. But, you know, this was a chamber role, was something I thought was so important for the bank and, for the community.
• 34:19
  And, you know, for the last year, I feel like I've been sharing training, trying to learn and figure it out. And, I'm really excited to get to do that next year. It's it's big and it's going to, it's going to take well, it's a huge opportunity. Huge opportunity. But I love what I hear, the underpinnings throughout your life of a growth mindset, you know, that I'm gonna get comfortable being uncomfortable.
• 34:40
  I'm gonna I'm gonna challenge myself. I'm gonna try to grow. And, I think it's amazing. Sometimes we'll do things for others we won't do for ourself. And. And I hear that as a driving force in your life and whether and I've seen it, whether that's at work or whether that's at home or whether that's in our community, is I'm going to do it for something greater than myself.
• 34:58
  Well, and I want to make sure that I'm representing well also. Yeah. So if it, you know, if it requires homework or practice or whatever it is, you know, we've we've talked about this, offline before we got started. You know, it's the 13th year that we are, sponsoring Ice on main. And that was such a great way for us to get our brand out in the community.
• 35:18
  But that meant a press conference. That meant being on the news whenever they needed it. And that was not a comfortable place. Yeah, in the beginning. So the practice having a coach to to help me, get comfortable with those speaking engagements has, has really meant a lot to me. And even, you know, we sponsor Holiday at Peace, which is, the Roman Symphony's, holiday program going on on stage at the center and not having a podium to, you know, at least not in or, you know, hold something or whatever and just having to speak to the crowd, you know, that was the total out of my comfort zone.
• 35:55
  And I had to train myself and get my head right to be able to do that. Well, we were big proponents of that here at amplify. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but I love I think there's so much pressure to be great at everything. And if I'm hearing this, Michel, you've taken some of that pressure off and and continue like, how can I get better?
• 36:14
  How can I grow? How can I improve that? Because leadership is such a lonely position that that pressure to have all the answers. But what I hear in this is a you're willing to grow, you're willing to lead by example, to do things that maybe you're not that comfortable with. And I also want to be surrounded by really smart people like my team is fabulous.
• 36:34
  They can do things I can't do, and I am really comfortable knowing that. But but yes, but our our organization is constantly learning. It is it is a it is definitely a key component to who we are. You know, we'll have people come to our senior leadership team meetings that we have twice a year that will speak to us about leadership.
• 36:55
  There are books they ask us to read. There are different book clubs, that we have throughout the Bank of leadership books. And, you know, those aren't beach reads, those are. Yeah, yeah, you know, during the year. And it just helps us be better. And if we can just get a little nugget out of something in one of those books, it helps us be better.
• 37:14
  We mentioned earlier you I love that it's just being skilled in your work. And you don't look at some of the challenges of being a female leader and some of those extra expectations.
• 37:23
  I think society puts on women in the workforce and women at home. And so as you look at young women entering the workforce or going to college, you have to I have to, that are eventually going to be there. What advice would you give to them about their career path or finding harmony between being maybe at home or being in the workforce?
• 37:44
  same piece of advice that we talked about for any young employee. And, you know, I talk about our teammate is really just be the best that you can be. Yeah. You know, I've had so much fun getting to do this with Caitlin.
• 37:56
  Yeah, because she's out of the workforce for three years. You know, she's been, shaped by Milt isms.
• 38:04
  Which is about her. And sometimes it was, that means so much to me. Because you just never know. But to be to watch her grow and to think that that we've stay connected. Although maybe we don't get to spend as much time together. For sure. We definitely refer to certain terms as, that's funny.
• 38:27
  If it's just if it is anything just really, conceptual or profound or whatever it is. Yeah. And and I love like, her honesty is like, sometimes she's okay with it and sometimes she don't want to hear. My kids don't want to either. I love even going through her interview process with her mom. I've watched you do that.
• 38:46
  I don't want to do that. You know, she didn't want to travel in her job because she saw how hard that was for me. Balance everything but to see her. And she's now involved in different organizations and to see her jump in and get that learning even that's that's education, getting involved in the community, you know, that's making where you live an even better place because you care enough to be involved in the community.
• 39:11
  But to see her jump in and do that has been just so rewarding for me to hear what she has taken from all this makes me think, okay, I might have done something right along the way. When I was in survival mode, because there were definitely years that were we were just surviving. Oh yeah, if I think about, you know, my mind, I had this idea of and it's mainly I'm thinking about men, about the four quarters of life and that second quarter from kind of 25 to 44, the title Love to survival mode, you're just complete.
• 39:43
  Yeah, you're just complete survival mode. And you're like, okay, how do we get here? What in the world? Because you're so busy making a living, you're so busy trying to make a life, that you lose track of time. But I think, there's an author that said my parents did not tell me how to live. They just lived.
• 40:00
  I learned by watching them. And so I hear Caitlin seeing you, watching you and some of what I don't want. Yes. Which is great. Yeah. And some of what I. Yeah. Some of what I do. Well yeah. That's been, it's been really fun to, to watch her grow up and to have her develop what's important to her.
• 40:21
  Yeah. And it's been, it's been really fun to watch that and Caroline. Yeah. Caroline's journey. Yeah. So, you know, her journey is a little bit different. And, you know, she jumped into all that leadership in high school. Okay. All the student government. And you know that got impacted a little bit by Covid. But she's always had like this huge pack of people that she's around with.
• 40:41
  And right now she's trying to, go to DC to live work. And so she's now, you know, a part time job here right now. And she's, you know, bankrolling everything that she can. As you know, right now, I think she sent you two months of DC rent that a girl. And I'm like, okay, that's good. Probably taking more out of her mom than her dad.
• 40:59
  There.
• 41:03
  He's got it pretty well. But he's just got a gift of of people and and joy that he brought. I mean, my man, I don't think he's changed a whole lot in 30 something years. And sometimes that's not a compliment. But for him, I think it's the joy. He's so consistent and enjoys life and enjoys people, that you guys have seen to find that harmony, in your life.
• 41:25
  In your relationship. He makes me so much better. Yeah. He he just has such a positive outlook on everything. Yeah, I think I'm pretty positive about things, too, but, you know, when I'm down, he lift me up. If he's down, I can lift him up. It really is just a it's a great harmony. And I just think I'm so lucky to have someone like him in my life, which is great advice, that you've also delivered professionally, but also for personally, for young people, you know, that you found somebody that makes you better, that compliments you.
• 41:56
  That is maybe not just like you. Right? Oh, I think that you've got to know that, you know, Instagram tells kids right now or social media in general, things that everything's perfect. Oh, yeah. And you know, life's not perfect. No, I would say it's not. Every day is sunshine and roses, you know. And that's, that's a that's not real life.
• 42:14
  What you see, you know, having somebody that you really can do real life with is so and I think it's so important for our children for them to see the struggle. You know, we try to hide from our children and the complexities and challenges of whether that's marriage or work or life. And we create this narrative in our mind, their mind that everything's easy and it should.
• 42:34
  And so I that even college, one of my soapboxes is, you know, we tell people college is the best time of their life. And the pressure we put on young people, the one that has to be the time of life. But but to I'm always, well, what if it's not? What if college was a very difficult time in my life?
• 42:51
  That if people think it's the best time we just put such a burden on others. Yeah, I think we do. And we set these unrealistic. Yes. And I think that it is more of and reflecting. Of course, it's easier to look in the rearview mirror and see what life is really like. But I think that is such a time of development.
• 43:09
  You know, you're being friends with so many different kinds of people. You're having challenges in your life, you're growing through them, and they it does help shape who you are today. And I think that, you know, those that have that special relationship still, you know, you can't be friends with the whole pack. Yeah. Because, you know, life comes along.
• 43:27
  But being able to still be able to, you know, put a pin in that relationship and catch right back, where you, left off is so. Well, that's a true gift of, of a friend. And so, you know, one of my last question to you before we kind of, you know, kind of wrap up the I think it's the together for good.
• 43:47
  And so what does that that's that's united community banks. That's kind of your motto, I guess. Or so. What does that mean to you? And what does that mean in your life? So first of all, we were talking about legendary earlier. There were three components we didn't quite get. Oh, sorry. Yeah. So, you know, it's the employees, it's the customers.
• 44:05
  And it's legendary for our community. So we have it together for good counsel at the bank that pulls people from all across the bank to come together to, it's a leadership opportunity. But then it also is educational about. And there's certain projects in the community that they do. And it's it's wherever they are throughout the six state footprint.
• 44:25
  So it's such a great opportunity to come together for good in your community. So I love that it's not just a tagline, but it's an action. Yeah. For us to and that, you know, we turn that group over every couple of years so that more people have the opportunity. But it's a way to recognize people that are doing great things in the community or, people that are just doing great things in their job and need to be recognized to do a little bit more.
• 44:50
  So what that means for me personally is, is the opportunity to be out in the community. Yeah. And to represent our brand and so for me to be able to go out and represent United and so many different ways in our community, I'm so thankful for it. And, you know, this week of Thanksgiving, we talked about being Carol.
• 45:10
  I can't say I came to, but it's a week of Thanksgiving. I'm so thankful to work for an organization that values, coming together for good. Yeah, being together for good and being together for our team and for the community. Well, I think a common theme that I've known in your life is it's not just about talk, it's about action.
• 45:30
  And there's intentionality that you do what you say you're going to do. And it's awesome. It sounds like to be at a place at a bank that honors that as well, that we care about the community. It's in our name and not only do we talk about it, we put resources and energy, and effort behind it.
• 45:46
  Totally agree with that. And it's been fun. So our United Community Foundation was founded during Covid. So, when thanks for doing the PB. Yeah, that they got from the government to do that. So we used a portion of those days to establish our foundation. And so what a special way to get this started at our bank.
• 46:04
  And so our foundation is not a but together for good council works on this. But the foundation is not
• 46:10
  just an application process externally. Actually nobody external can apply. It is a mini grant process where it helps to, when our teammates are passionate about. So if someone is, you know, passionate about, certain organization that they're involved with, you know, there's an to an internal application process where they can talk about what they're doing, you know, what the time commitment is.
• 46:36
  You know, we can put those hours in so that we can we can track, but then we want pictures of them doing. Yeah. So example would be habitat and somebody, you know, volunteering for habitat in their local community. The foundation could fund. Awesome. And so that's supporting the individual too. So it's it's supporting the community but it's supporting the individual that's passionate about it.
• 46:58
  Well that's another way to serve your employees. Yeah. The way we care about not only who you are, we care about what's important to you. So we're not just giving money to. Yeah. You know, there's you know, you're headquartered in Greenville and you got a foundation. You know, people see dollar signs a lot of times. But we're so intentional.
• 47:15
  Yeah. Our funding, the organizations that are teammates are passionate about so again, just another great way to support our team. Awesome. Well this has been a blessing for me. And I'm grateful for a friendship, for over 30 years. Yeah. To to to to see your growth still be a part of your life. David's lived, to watch your girls grow.
• 47:35
  What is, final thoughts and comments as we reflect on our conversation? Reflect. I got one more question for you after that, but but, final thoughts or perspective from you. You know, this has just been, such a blessing to be able to sit here and talk through this with you. You know, I don't think we take time to reflect.
• 47:52
  Yeah, as often as we should. You know, we're we're trying to get through that checklist or get through those days and those commitments and, supporting a team or, supporting our family that we don't sit back and reflect on it too much. So this has been a gift for me to get to kind of work through it and, and think about the different pieces of it and, you know, put it all together.
• 48:10
  Yeah. I think that's great advice. I know this is coming out maybe the week after Thanksgiving, but to take time to reflect and think about and your own growth and, and be grateful for who you are and where you're going and who's in your life. That giving yourself time to think and reflect is a powerful way to keep moving forward and be consistent and intentional about what's important.
• 48:31
  And I think that's part of growing up, too. You know, I'm I hope I'm grown up. Yeah. I'm happy the verdict still out on me there. But, you know, I mean, it's it's it's a part of your evolution. Yeah. And I don't think that you can look back at certain phases yet because again, you're in survival mode and you're whatever mode mode.
• 48:50
  But I feel like this is such a great time to really reflect and say, this is what, I've been able to accomplish at a wonderful institution, and how thankful I am for that organization that gave me the opportunity to do this job, and I don't. I remember somebody telling me when I first started that, you know, you need to take care of the things that are given to you.
• 49:11
  Oh, yeah. And, they said it in a little bit different way, but I very vividly reflect back on that conversation. And this was a gift. And this was somebody, believing in me. And so I had to work as hard as I could to, to do the job that he gave me to do. Yeah. To whom much is given, much is expected.
• 49:32
  And so well done. Yeah, well. Well done. Is what I would say. And thank you for sharing that with us today. So my last question and I don't I, I hadn't framed that well. But being legendary to you going forward, what does that mean for you being legendary? I just want to keep doing the things that I'm doing and just continue to take it to the next level.
• 49:54
  Yeah, meaning? Not necessarily. You know, I'm not in a job level. I'm not thinking about. I'm just saying what I can do for our community and what I can do for our bank to continue to be legendary, to deliver on that value proposition, professionally and personally and just to be the best that I can be. Awesome.
• 50:13
  Well, thank you for sharing your wisdom. Thank you for sharing your love, your friendship. With us and my family. And, and thank you all for listening, and I hope you take as much from this conversation as I did. And I hope, as Michelle was saying early on, that you take bits and pieces of this conversation, give yourself permission to be human.
• 50:31
  Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Get a clear vision in your mind of what being the best you can be looks like. And then go be who you were created to be and don't play somebody else's game. So Michelle, thank you so much for sharing that today. Well, thank you so much for having me. This has been really special.