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Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Give me back my money! · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Next stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: From Darren Wackhead, something ex exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, So has Prime Media booked us any conferences this year? Oh,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: we've got a conference in September? Would you even go? Darren? Well,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: it depends what it is, depends what it is. What
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a diplomatic response. Yeah, But so this guy loves conferences, right, Yeah,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Well he's you know, the company learning.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: All this stuff.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Okay, So he's he's he used to work in Tanzania.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: He worked there for a few years, moved back and
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: he now still has a lot of business stars there.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: But he goes there to conferences a lot. Okay, but
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: now there's also you know where everything there's scammers. So
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: he booked a conference to go to the conference with
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: him and his two of his colleagues, female colleagues. He
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: gets all the way, he's paid, the money, gets all
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: the way there to Tanzania, and the whole things are scammed.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: There's no conference, there's no conference. Knock on the door
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: for the conference, there's no conference. What are you talking about?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Is being scammed?
• 1:34
  Speaker 5: All right?
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: So now you've go I mean, think about it, you've
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: flown all the way there. Yeah, and nothing happened, So
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: he's proper asseid. So I'm gonna make a phone call
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: to him.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Now.
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  Speaker 1: One thing that you must know here as well is
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: that because he's lived there, he can't speak Swahili. So
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I learned a few Swahili phrases to go fully into
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: character here. Okay, good luck to all of us because
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try to scam him again and hopefully
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: well he will pick up on that I'm the scammer
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: trying to scam him again. Scam. Yes, another thing you
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: must not you what what I always love is when
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: when people say one thing to you on the phone
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: and then how they tell their mates. Oh you know
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: what I told him?
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Veris yeah, Okay, here we go lock in.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah. But he's very hot headed and he wasn't very
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: happy that we will be got scammed.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Hello, mister Auccess, Yah, Hello, say, I'm calling you about
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the Tanzanian conference. I believe that there was a mix
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: up and you went to the contract. Okay, did you
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: not receive the postponement correspondence that it had been moved?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately for me, nothing nothing. Well, I want to give.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: You the new dates in thirty minutes.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Hi, it's me again. Yeah, you want to call you
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: in half an hour.
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: I'm listening.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: I've got a new data here for you. When is
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: it the first of December?
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: First of December?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, first of the third.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: No, because we were all at that specific time, we
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: will be in Brazil for a new project. So you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: I think the appropriate way is to arrange a refunds
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  Speaker 5: for the conference.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: No, refund is not an option.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: How can you say it's not an option? If we
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: have received a mile, it's I think that it is
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: going full steam ahead. I have a mile. Yeah, I
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: just want to get it out. You said we can't
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: get a refund.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Well, look I've reserved your place. Now the fact that
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: you can't go, that's more your problem, and it is problem.
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: I have a letter. Yeah, I'm now to see a
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: part in a day, I'm gonna read it. We regate
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: to them, or they get a schedule stand in the
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: end for a meeting for in between their twelve important
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: grit and julitionar area as in those times. Now we
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: can't go. We have been there, so we need we
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: you know, we're replacing our money back.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the one and fifty dollars is non refundable.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: Really we have a problem.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: No, you have a problem at a specific time. Maybe
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: what we'll do when we do the next one? Put
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you on for that one?
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: Then I need it in writing.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: But you're gonna have to pay for that one again though,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: what do I.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: Need to play for the other one? How's your mind working?
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Was it three seats booked?
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: Three seats? Yes?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, so I'll release the seats and then I
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: will sell them on.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: So you're gonna tell it again and mikel did a
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  Speaker 5: double money on it. It's not how it works.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: But I am you coming to my conference for me
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to teach you the art of doing great business? Right?
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: You know what? Don't worry. I would have said this
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  Speaker 5: matter to our legal deportment and then we can sort
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: it out that way. Some turns on your name A
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  Speaker 5: ball from the trap I bin work. Some of the
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  Speaker 5: conference is yes, I say I kind of coal? Can
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: I say down with other confidence? Not helpful conference, but
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: all to say from my nicely y my towns from
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  Speaker 5: produis it like the y type anyway? But helps the phone?
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: What do you want?
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  Speaker 1: Yeasable?
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Listen?
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: You clearly want to now my time you guys copped up,
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: I'm going to legal action. That's just what I'm gonna have.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: This controcise.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: You say you lived in Tanzania. That's not a very
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Swahili way of dealing with things. Hodi jins in the wa.
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: Wait wait wait, okay, yes, thank you, hold on, hold.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: On, were way more? Good day, mister money, Yes Rishan, yeah, yes,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: my friend end jangle free end jangle. Okay, excuse me,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: ferendjangu kip Ogo. What do you want where Guru nip
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: listen to me.
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: Listen now, okay, I'll tell you what I want, not
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: the other way around.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, way way mo Rahamu, come on maya. Okay. I
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: need you to walk up to his office because he's
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: not taking my calls now, okay, okay. So you went
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: on the trip with him and another young lady, yes,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: and then handing your phone.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, I'll do that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Where will we? Yes, I've been trying to coverse this.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: This is the prostitute you bring to the conference.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: The prostitute. Yes, your mother your mother? Your mother?
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: No?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: This?
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: No, you're w which which one? No? This lady one?
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: I can take both.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: It's not a problem for.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Me, no, but this lady that you're bringing the prostitute.
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: Lady, yes, did your mother? You said, I'm bringing a prostitute,
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: so it's probably your mother.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: My mother's not a prostitute.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: Oh well, well that's what not what he said to me.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: Wise about this.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Okay, he's got a massive I said, listen now it
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: says now it's on the first I said, sorry, we
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: can't go. We're all going to brazils Are line.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: So I want the refund. Now we don't do referns.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not his fault.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It's your fault. It's not my fault.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Because then I started to lose my it's your fault. Okay,
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I said, you're a thief, and then he reverted to Sweden.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Then I revert and then I'm not listen, my friend,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: your mother's okay, okay, lose my number, take the money.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: But bear in mind, I hope that there is not
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: a conference because I will disrupt.
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: It to you. So I told him to okay, and.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: You should have heard me about twenty minutes ago, just
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: that time to calm down.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: But I mean, he's got such a Yeah, he's.
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: Half and I told you you're a criminal.
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  Speaker 3: But take the money.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Shut it, okay, and it's your but it's not need
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: to speak to me.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I said, don't need to what?
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: And now I said, that's my friend. You your thank you, Bob.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Tell him tell her what you what you told him what?
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: He and his mother must go and have a aug
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: in swil hold On.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Hello money.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's wicked, Simpson, buddy, Yep, listen, are you not opened?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not. I'm at the studio. I am on.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: My wife's just wrong. You know, I need to probably
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: go to your prisoner.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: He was flying convincing that.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: It was Revoir River, Salona Lopasadeer Sade Giving.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Mixed Masalah Sawo Phona Kun Journey. But you were actually
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: saying real words.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: Eh.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: You believed you, which was very because I think he
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: was also quite proud to whip out the old fighting.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: He's actinly wrong. I'm a polyclot. Hm hmm, amazing happy conferencing.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: If you're going on one season, I hope it's legit