Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - On the Prowl

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Hour 3 - On the Prowl · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Playball.
0:01
Speaker 2: It's our number three, our number three. We don't sit
0:07
Speaker 2: on the fence. On the Ben Malor Show. Fifth Hour
0:09
Speaker 2: podcast will be up later today. You will find out
0:12
Speaker 2: which member of the Malord militia has gone out to
0:16
Speaker 2: a tattoo shop and gotten a Mallord Show tattoo, first
0:21
Speaker 2: time ever.
0:21
Speaker 1: We'll tell the details.
0:22
Speaker 2: Nobody else has this, none of the other podcasters, Joe
0:25
Speaker 2: Rogan doesn't have it.
0:25
Speaker 1: Nobody has it.
0:26
Speaker 2: Only on the Fifth Hour podcast, so make sure to
0:29
Speaker 2: subscribe to that.
0:30
Speaker 1: But here an hour number three.
0:31
Speaker 2: I love talking about baseball, and we're going to talk
0:33
Speaker 2: to some baseball right now.
0:35
Speaker 1: As the story out.
0:36
Speaker 2: Of Detroit, you make the call, how should the last
0:40
Speaker 2: place Tigers handle? There is Trek Scooble who's injured right now.
0:44
Speaker 2: The trade deadline will be here before you know it. Also,
0:47
Speaker 2: let's play matchmaker, the Trek Schooble matchmaker, who's going to
0:52
Speaker 2: be bidding on the ace of Motown. We'll talk about that. Also,
0:57
Speaker 2: how do you explain the timing of multiple stories out
1:01
Speaker 2: this week about owner Arty Marino batching Angels trades that
1:06
Speaker 2: would have brought raised slugger Junior Camonero and the Dodgers,
1:11
Speaker 2: Andy Paiez to Anaheim.
1:13
Speaker 1: Although Arti Marino killed both of those trades.
1:16
Speaker 2: We'll talk about that and more Big men's lame jokes
1:19
Speaker 2: of the week scheduled this hour as well with weed Man,
1:22
Speaker 2: it's all coming your way here, it is our number three. Well,
1:29
Speaker 2: it is not a tiger in your tank. It could
1:31
Speaker 2: be a tiger in your rotation, allegedly.
1:36
Speaker 1: Well come, in.
1:38
Speaker 2: The beginning of another hour of the Ben Malor Show.
1:44
Speaker 1: We are in the air ev.
1:47
Speaker 2: Rewear, hiding under the sheets as we say, hey, can
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Speaker 2: you break me off? A piece coast the coast, border,
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Speaker 2: the border and beyond on the vast and immeasurably powerful
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Speaker 2: microphones of FSR am monating live.
2:05
Speaker 1: From the wash the eyewash of athletic chatter.
2:09
Speaker 2: Gaaronteed Human from the world famous Fox Sports Radio Studios,
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Speaker 2: where Joey the Bellman, a show legend, reminds us that
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Speaker 2: They should is the keyword in all of that. But wait,
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3:30
Speaker 2: So our lead this hour is from baseball, Yes, Motown
3:37
Speaker 2: and down Motown and down the headline on that as
3:44
Speaker 2: developing story here, the possibility of the Detroit Tigers saying
3:49
Speaker 2: bye bye to their ace Trek Scoogle trademark deadline late
3:56
Speaker 2: July has apparently increased. If you've not been following the story,
4:02
Speaker 2: you're not it's a bad job by you. So the
4:05
Speaker 2: Tigers were in the playoffs last year and made a
4:07
Speaker 2: little bit of noise in the playoffs, and they're not
4:10
Speaker 2: anywhere near sniffing the playoffs at this particular point. So
4:14
Speaker 2: if you missed it, the streets are talking and they
4:17
Speaker 2: tell us that Trek scouble the chances of him being
4:20
Speaker 2: traded are on the rise, on the rise, as the
4:25
Speaker 2: Tigers hope to sign him to an extension, although that
4:30
Speaker 2: seems to not be the case at this point.
4:32
Speaker 1: There's just no movement at all.
4:34
Speaker 2: Contract extension chatter is said to be the word nil
4:38
Speaker 2: was used. There is reportedly a gap which is the
4:42
Speaker 2: size of the Grand Canyon in the discussions between how
4:47
Speaker 2: much Schooble wants and how much the Tigers want to
4:50
Speaker 2: pay him. The left hander of the Detroit Tigers. Now
4:54
Speaker 2: he's currently set to enter the portal, the transfer portal,
4:58
Speaker 2: the free agent market.
5:00
Speaker 1: You'll go to market at the end of the twenty
5:02
Speaker 1: twenty six season.
5:03
Speaker 2: So that'll be the next next big name player to
5:06
Speaker 2: sign a mega contract and change teams. However, there is
5:09
Speaker 2: supposed to be a workstoppage in baseball. Everyone says there's
5:11
Speaker 2: be no baseball in twenty twenty seven, and that's it
5:14
Speaker 2: and all that. So that's a good jumping off point.
5:16
Speaker 2: Let us discuss the question. You make the call, how
5:21
Speaker 2: should the Detroit Tigers handle the very delicate situation of
5:26
Speaker 2: Alving Terrek School who's currently injured right now. So my
5:29
Speaker 2: views on this, I've got Aredyu, that's Aready, you, Black
5:33
Speaker 2: Friday and cloud seating, and we will combine all of
5:40
Speaker 2: these things together and we are going to pay our
5:42
Speaker 2: rent and swim against the tide at the same time. So,
5:46
Speaker 2: first of all, let's look at the facts, because I'm
5:50
Speaker 2: all about the facts, and Scoople has been the gold
5:54
Speaker 2: standard in recent years in pitch now, he's the gold
5:57
Speaker 2: standard and all that. However, if you look the Tigers,
6:01
Speaker 2: you are what your record says you are. And right
6:03
Speaker 2: now Detroit, they're not just underachieving, they're seeing how low
6:08
Speaker 2: can you go? At this point, the Tigers are sitting
6:10
Speaker 2: dead last in the American League Central. There are eleven
6:14
Speaker 2: games under the Mendoza line. They're eleven games under five
6:18
Speaker 2: hundred and spoiler alert, spoiler alert.
6:21
Speaker 1: You're not the Dodgers, You're not the Atlanta Braves this year.
6:24
Speaker 2: You're on pace to lose ninety eight games. The Detroit
6:30
Speaker 2: Tigers are on pace to lose ninety eight games. They
6:32
Speaker 2: have a three to ninety five winning percentage. The MotorCity
6:35
Speaker 2: Kitties have no offense. They're twenty six and runs scored.
6:39
Speaker 2: There's only thirty teams in professional baseball, so they're not
6:43
Speaker 2: exactly living high on the hog. Absolutely futile offensively. I
6:49
Speaker 2: think the Wusacks are better offensively than the MotorCity Kitties.
6:54
Speaker 2: The Toledo mud Hens are better, and the pitching has
6:56
Speaker 2: been slightly above average. Slightly above considering the large expectations.
7:04
Speaker 2: The Tiger fan base deserves like a refund, a nice apology,
7:09
Speaker 2: and possibly some counseling. Legally blind Christopher who got so
7:14
Speaker 2: upset by the lack of success for the Detroit Sports
7:17
Speaker 2: he moved across the Atlantic Ocean. So you're fooling nobody
7:21
Speaker 2: other than yourself. Now to me, it's time to learn.
7:24
Speaker 2: If you're the Detroit Tigers, you need to learn from Ardu.
7:28
Speaker 2: Now where is ardy?
7:29
Speaker 3: You?
7:30
Speaker 2: RDYU is in southern California. All they have a campus
7:34
Speaker 2: in Tucson in Arizona.
7:36
Speaker 4: Are to you?
7:36
Speaker 1: Just learn from that and cut your losses.
7:39
Speaker 2: Now what I would do, unsolicited advice from the Malard
7:42
Speaker 2: think tank.
7:42
Speaker 1: I would wait about a month, about a month.
7:45
Speaker 2: I'd wait till around this time in June, and I'd
7:49
Speaker 2: see if some kind of miracle happens, if you can
7:51
Speaker 2: shave off some games under five hundred, get to around
7:55
Speaker 2: three or four games under five hundred. Now, if that happens, great,
8:02
Speaker 2: mazel tov, congratulations. If not, I then go out and
8:05
Speaker 2: put a for sale sign up outside the ballpark. And
8:10
Speaker 2: if you're not gonna pay the man, you gotta trade
8:14
Speaker 2: the man. This is always relationship one oh one, right,
8:17
Speaker 2: You need to dump him before he dumps you. You
8:20
Speaker 2: gotta be the one that does the dumping, now, I said,
8:23
Speaker 2: Aldy you of course that would be Ardy Marino. And
8:27
Speaker 2: you must learn from the cautionary example. The Angels had
8:31
Speaker 2: opportunities to trade sho He Otani at the deadline. They
8:34
Speaker 2: were a faux contender for the wild Card that year,
8:37
Speaker 2: and they chose not to do it, and they got
8:40
Speaker 2: bupkiss squad, douche, and a spiritual void. When Otani said
8:47
Speaker 2: I'm out of here, I'm not just out of here.
8:49
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go haunt you. I'm gonna haunt you about
8:52
Speaker 2: thirty five miles.
8:53
Speaker 1: Away with the Dodgers, is what I'm gonna do.
8:56
Speaker 2: And Detroit is staring into the same abyss as the.
9:01
Speaker 1: Angels, and they're like, what do we do? I don't
9:04
Speaker 1: know what to do? What should we do? I don't
9:06
Speaker 1: know what do we do now.
9:07
Speaker 2: Secondly, now that it would appear and we do, we
9:11
Speaker 2: worry about the show today. So holy macaroni, it looks
9:14
Speaker 2: like that we're heading towards Splitsville, USA for the Tigers
9:19
Speaker 2: and their star pitcher. So the question, let's play Trek
9:24
Speaker 2: Schoogle matchmaker, that's right, matchmaker, who's bidding? Let's move ahead
9:32
Speaker 2: a month. Tigers are still not a real contender, and
9:35
Speaker 2: so they say, we got this handsome devil, Trek Scoogl,
9:39
Speaker 2: who's bidding on the ace of the Detroit Tigers. So
9:43
Speaker 2: on the surface, it's it's kind of complicated. I'll tell
9:47
Speaker 2: you why, because you've got the poltergeist and the drill.
9:49
Speaker 2: Sergeant Schooble recently underwent elbow surgery for the number one
9:54
Speaker 2: operation this year, the removal of loose bodies. Never before
10:00
Speaker 2: have there been so many loose bodies in baseball, and.
10:03
Speaker 1: Everyone's making a mad dash to have that operation.
10:06
Speaker 2: So that's the Boogeyman, that's the Poulter guys that he
10:09
Speaker 2: had elbow surgery and he's supposedly gonna be back pretty soon.
10:13
Speaker 2: Here call it an exorcism if you will combine that
10:18
Speaker 2: with the fact that the ace of the Tigers, Trek
10:20
Speaker 2: schoobl is represented by the Boogeyman, Scott Borris, the benevolent
10:28
Speaker 2: dictator of baseball, more powerful than the Commission of Baseball,
10:32
Speaker 2: and the Tigers are terrified that they're going to get
10:37
Speaker 2: nickels and dimes on the dollar, nickels and dimes on
10:40
Speaker 2: the art. Now Detroit is about to get fleeced because
10:44
Speaker 2: they've viewed Scott Morris like the Internal Revenue Service the IRS.
10:48
Speaker 2: And if Scooble hits the trademarket healthy, and that's a
10:53
Speaker 2: big if. Ifs and Nuts were candy and nuts can
10:55
Speaker 2: win the World Series every year, that's obviously not so.
11:00
Speaker 1: If Scooble does end up.
11:03
Speaker 2: Plausibly healthy, by the time the Tigers are willing to
11:06
Speaker 2: make a deal, there will literally be half the league
11:10
Speaker 2: that lines up. It's gonna be like Black Friday at
11:13
Speaker 2: best Buy and everyone wants a TV and this is
11:16
Speaker 2: the trek Scooble TV.
11:17
Speaker 1: Everyone wants one and all that.
11:19
Speaker 2: Now the usual suspects are in the mix, the Doyers,
11:22
Speaker 2: the Doyers, the baseball death star for many of you
11:25
Speaker 2: that they just they never sleep. Plus the Yankees, the Cubs,
11:29
Speaker 2: the Podrays, the Atlanta Braves. However, however, because Scooble is
11:36
Speaker 2: a luxury airbnb, he's a rental so that opens up
11:42
Speaker 2: the bidding to teams like Tampa Bay, the Brewers, the Guardians.
11:47
Speaker 2: And this is your chance to date out of your
11:50
Speaker 2: league for three months, to date the hot girl for
11:52
Speaker 2: three months high end rental. And if you believe that
11:57
Speaker 2: he helps you hoist Rob Manford's fanatic shit op souvenir
12:01
Speaker 2: piece of metal, you shoot your shot.
12:04
Speaker 1: Do you see? Rob Manford loves baseball so much.
12:06
Speaker 2: He was at the Knicks Calves game last night at
12:09
Speaker 2: Madison Square Garden.
12:10
Speaker 1: He got caught on TV.
12:11
Speaker 2: Hey, Rob, shouldn't you have been in I don't know,
12:13
Speaker 2: Yankee Stadium watching the Yankees and the Blue Jays or
12:15
Speaker 2: somewhere where there's a baseball game. This guy hates baseball,
12:18
Speaker 2: Rob Manford, he does. The dude hates baseball. He was
12:21
Speaker 2: in a freaking basketball game.
12:23
Speaker 1: Last what are you doing? Anyway? The point is back
12:26
Speaker 1: in the point.
12:27
Speaker 2: So scooball that the Tigers as on the trading block,
12:30
Speaker 2: and I do believe you'll see the Rays, Brewers, Guardians,
12:32
Speaker 2: teams like that who will attempt to bend the time
12:35
Speaker 2: space continuum. No security deposit, good luck, good luck? All right,
12:43
Speaker 2: final thought, we go now to Anaheim, where the Angels
12:47
Speaker 2: have been doing this dance with the devil and not
12:51
Speaker 2: going so well, not going so well, And we mentioned
12:53
Speaker 2: Ardieu Ardy Marino drowning in Anaheim and the swarm of
12:59
Speaker 2: negativity he has continued.
13:00
Speaker 1: This week.
13:01
Speaker 2: There were multiple reports that did not paint the Angel's
13:06
Speaker 2: owner in the most positive light, and one of them
13:10
Speaker 2: said that that years ago Arty Marino had a deal
13:13
Speaker 2: in place with the Dodgers. It was part of the
13:16
Speaker 2: Mookie Bets trade. And I do actually remember this. I'd
13:19
Speaker 2: forgotten about it.
13:21
Speaker 1: So Luis ren hefo Infield.
13:24
Speaker 2: I think he's on the Brewers now, and the trade
13:28
Speaker 2: would be a deal with the Dodgers that would have
13:29
Speaker 2: sent Andy Poez to the Big A. Now this is
13:35
Speaker 2: six years ago. Andy Piez was far away from doing
13:38
Speaker 2: anything but already backed out of that trade. He did
13:42
Speaker 2: not wait for Mookie Bets and the paperwork from the
13:45
Speaker 2: Red Sox to the Dodgers to be completed, so he
13:48
Speaker 2: backed out of the trade. Bus the Angels did not
13:51
Speaker 2: end up getting, obviously Andy Paez. And then in twenty
13:55
Speaker 2: twenty three, the Ken Rosenthal had the story that the
13:58
Speaker 2: Angels and Rays were in discussions at the trade deadline
14:02
Speaker 2: they were going to send Shohei Otani to Tampa as
14:07
Speaker 2: a rental in exchange for a package of players that
14:10
Speaker 2: included Junior Kamanero. That would have been the player that
14:14
Speaker 2: came back to the Angels, and Ardi Marino balked at
14:17
Speaker 2: that refused to move Otani as a rental, was convinced
14:21
Speaker 2: he could keep Otani. Of course, the story that I
14:22
Speaker 2: heard at the time was the reason the Angels didn't
14:25
Speaker 2: trade Otani is because they wanted to keep all the
14:27
Speaker 2: Japanese advertising they got from the fans of Otani in Japan.
14:32
Speaker 2: Of course, that was ridiculous because the Dodgers have made
14:35
Speaker 2: about one hundred percent more than the Angels ever made
14:39
Speaker 2: on Japanese marketing.
14:40
Speaker 1: When they picked up Otani.
14:43
Speaker 2: Either way, Junior Camanero has become a headliner with the Rays,
14:47
Speaker 2: he is unpaced at forty four home.
14:49
Speaker 1: Runs in Tampa.
14:50
Speaker 2: This year, Andy Piz is tied for the lead in
14:54
Speaker 2: the National League with runs batted in. He is tracking
14:57
Speaker 2: for thirty two home runs and one hundred and twenty
14:59
Speaker 2: six with the Dodgers. So the question, how do you
15:03
Speaker 2: explain the timing? Give me the timing of these stories
15:09
Speaker 2: about Arti Marino batching multiple trades that would have provided
15:14
Speaker 2: the Angels with Junior Camminero from the Rays and the
15:18
Speaker 2: Dodgers Andy Pious. So I spent a couple of minutes.
15:22
Speaker 2: I was making my way into the studio here and
15:23
Speaker 2: I spent a couple of minutes thinking about this. The
15:25
Speaker 2: timing of these stories is not a kuwinkie dink. It
15:31
Speaker 2: is choreography, is what it is. That's the word I
15:34
Speaker 2: would use, choreography.
15:36
Speaker 1: This is not so much a leak.
15:38
Speaker 2: It's a controlled burn, burn baby burn around Arti Marino,
15:43
Speaker 2: whatever reputation he had left. And it's like somebody is
15:47
Speaker 2: cloud seating a mushroom cloud right over the big A
15:52
Speaker 2: and Artie is holding the umbrella upside down because that's
15:56
Speaker 2: the Angel way.
15:58
Speaker 1: So of course, these stories about.
16:00
Speaker 2: Botching trades for Junior Caminaro and Andy Pyez are coming
16:04
Speaker 2: out right now.
16:06
Speaker 1: This is the annual.
16:07
Speaker 2: I looked at my calendar on my iPhone and it's
16:10
Speaker 2: the annual.
16:11
Speaker 1: Arti Morino is the village Idiot Festival, and it's like
16:15
Speaker 1: a carnival. But it's a festival and it's well earned. Now,
16:19
Speaker 1: what a year it's been for Artie Marino.
16:20
Speaker 2: You remember in spring training already said fans of the
16:23
Speaker 2: Angels prioritize affordability over wins. Just a few weeks ago,
16:28
Speaker 2: the Angels whacked Fox Sports Radio alumni member and longtime
16:31
Speaker 2: team broadcaster Patrick O'Neill in the middle of the season
16:35
Speaker 2: because they are too cheap to pay his salaries, so.
16:39
Speaker 1: They whacked him. And Arti Morino really is the village idiot.
16:44
Speaker 2: Now that said, I have to be reasonable here, and
16:49
Speaker 2: many assume the position that and this is the old switcheroo.
16:55
Speaker 2: If the Angels had Junior Camonaro and Andy Piez, those
16:58
Speaker 2: guys would be producing the way they have been producing
17:01
Speaker 2: for the.
17:01
Speaker 1: Rays and the Dodgers. And that is bull crap.
17:07
Speaker 2: It is tell me you don't know how the Angels
17:09
Speaker 2: operate without without telling me, you don't know how the
17:11
Speaker 2: Angels operate. The idea that those guys would have gone
17:16
Speaker 2: to Anaheim and blossomed is nonsense.
17:19
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why.
17:21
Speaker 2: Nothing blossoms in the Death Valley National Park, which is
17:27
Speaker 2: the Big A, a wasteland of toxic gas fence, hydrogen sulfide,
17:33
Speaker 2: and barely enough oxygen to survive. That's the that's the Angels,
17:38
Speaker 2: and it's where dreams go to die. The Angels do
17:41
Speaker 2: not develop players. They embomb them. And the idea that
17:46
Speaker 2: a prospect is a suspect un They'll prove it otherwise
17:49
Speaker 2: that a prospect will go there and turn into something
17:54
Speaker 2: good luck. They evaporate. They always evaporate, and it happens
17:59
Speaker 2: in a beat. They just evaporate.
18:01
Speaker 1: That's what happens. They come in.
18:02
Speaker 2: These guys are supposed to pack a wallop and it
18:05
Speaker 2: just doesn't happ It does not happen. It is the
18:09
Speaker 2: Ben Mahlor Show. And if you'd like to comment on
18:13
Speaker 2: any of that, you can join us.
18:14
Speaker 1: Talking to some baseball right now. The New York.
18:17
Speaker 2: Knickerbockers are one one went away from getting complete controls.
18:23
Speaker 2: Here's up to all right? Now, home serve they'll go
18:25
Speaker 2: up three off if they win on Saturday the next
18:28
Speaker 2: game in the series with Cleveland, and that series will
18:32
Speaker 2: all beat but over, although they still have to win
18:34
Speaker 2: two more so it's not over over.
18:37
Speaker 1: You feel me on that. You feel me on that
18:38
Speaker 1: eighteen to.
18:39
Speaker 2: Oh run by New York in the third quarter against
18:41
Speaker 2: the Cadavers, and that was that. It is the Ben
18:45
Speaker 2: Mahler Show eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. That's
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Speaker 2: eight seven seven nine nine six six three six nine.
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Speaker 2: the Malor.
19:00
Speaker 1: Riddle of the day on X on X right now, Mallord.
19:04
Speaker 2: Riddle of the day, Penn State coach Matt Campbell, that's
19:08
Speaker 2: college football. Matt Campbell seemed really excited that Happy Valley
19:13
Speaker 2: has a blank again. Matt Campbell longtime coach at Iowa State.
19:18
Speaker 2: He's now the head coach at LaVar Arrington's old school.
19:22
Speaker 2: So Penn State coach Matt Campbell seemed excited that Happy
19:26
Speaker 2: Valley has a blank and that is the.
19:30
Speaker 1: Mallor Riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get to
19:35
Speaker 1: it and we will do it next.
19:39
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Speaker 2: try to get to Vegas late in the summer.
20:29
Speaker 1: We're gonna wait till it's a thousand degrees to go there.
20:31
Speaker 5: Let's do it.
20:33
Speaker 2: Viva Las Vegas and is I Bill Miller? You're locked
20:35
Speaker 2: in on the Ben Maler Show. A reminder, this is
20:38
Speaker 2: an interactive program can.
20:40
Speaker 1: Be an interactive program.
20:42
Speaker 2: If you would like to take part and join the fun,
20:45
Speaker 2: call in at eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox
20:47
Speaker 2: some hot baseball talk right now. Lame jokes of the
20:49
Speaker 2: week coming up later eight seven seven nine nine, six
20:53
Speaker 2: six three sixty nine on X at Ben Malin, make
20:57
Speaker 2: sure to follow that account. Why are you not doing that?
21:02
Speaker 2: It's a bad job by you. Get on there, Get
21:04
Speaker 2: all your burner accounts, all your dummy accounts. Get me
21:08
Speaker 2: in the algorithm. They're at Ben mallord m A L
21:11
Speaker 2: L E R. Who If you don't know how to
21:14
Speaker 2: spell Ben, I got nothing for you. I I don't
21:18
Speaker 2: have anything for you.
21:20
Speaker 1: To check that out. And Lorena Lorena is here.
21:24
Speaker 2: You can say a load to her. FSR tech Queen
21:27
Speaker 2: my bell, don't talk to me. And Coop d Loop
21:32
Speaker 2: is available at a Bronco fan. Your comments can and
21:36
Speaker 2: absolutely will be used against you in the court of
21:41
Speaker 2: the Malard militia.
21:42
Speaker 1: And it is a kangaroo court, so watch out.
21:45
Speaker 2: All right, back to it we go. Take some calls
21:47
Speaker 2: in a minute. First, though, the mallor riddle of the day.
21:51
Speaker 2: We've gone deep into the bag of tricks. So Penn
21:55
Speaker 2: State's coach. Matt Campbell, longtime head coach at Iowa State.
21:59
Speaker 2: Matt Campbe seemed excited recently that Happy Valley has a
22:04
Speaker 2: blank and has a blank all right, see does anyone
22:08
Speaker 2: know the answer? Late Night Drug tester says people doing
22:11
Speaker 2: the robot dance very excited about that. Rob the goat
22:15
Speaker 2: Man says they have a spot for mediocre coaches.
22:20
Speaker 1: Wow. Shots fired by Rob the goat Man.
22:23
Speaker 2: A malar themed bar and merch from alf Oh look
22:28
Speaker 2: at that you got the benny versus the penny merch.
22:30
Speaker 1: You got the TV's going on.
22:33
Speaker 2: I could have given some real alien insight past the
22:37
Speaker 2: cat food barkeep.
22:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, look at that. It's very kind. What else
22:40
Speaker 1: do we have to see? Page down?
22:43
Speaker 2: King Roy says they have dill pickle flavored baked beans.
22:47
Speaker 1: That's from King Rory.
22:49
Speaker 2: Another Jerry Sandusky from Ocho text O Keith too Soon.
22:54
Speaker 2: Ferg Dog says a Chuck e Cheese the best pizza
22:57
Speaker 2: in the world.
22:59
Speaker 3: I don't know.
22:59
Speaker 1: Fg Dog wants me to talk about this in there,
23:01
Speaker 1: but Ferggog.
23:01
Speaker 2: Tells me that he only buys the Chuck e Cheese
23:04
Speaker 2: frozen pizza when he goes to the store.
23:07
Speaker 3: That's it.
23:07
Speaker 1: He loves that.
23:08
Speaker 2: Michael in Tulsa says a statue of him instead of
23:12
Speaker 2: the removed statue of Joe Pah courtesy. Flusher says a
23:16
Speaker 2: pizza shop that sells fifty five dollars. Slices topped with
23:20
Speaker 2: caviare served on a gold plate with the keepsake spoon.
23:27
Speaker 1: Very specific. Analog Al says, thorough urinals is the correct answer.
23:34
Speaker 1: What do we have here?
23:35
Speaker 2: Andy in Lionel Lakes, Minnesota says he's happy that a
23:38
Speaker 2: Happy Valley has a voluptuous and sexy assistant.
23:42
Speaker 1: For the program. I think that was at Michigan, and
23:45
Speaker 1: that was at.
23:45
Speaker 2: Michigan in a soft serve ice cream machine from Dante.
23:48
Speaker 1: Well, it doesn't matter.
23:49
Speaker 2: Because even if they have a soft serve machine, it
23:51
Speaker 2: would never be working. Donkey Sausage going with a red
23:54
Speaker 2: light district. Yeah, Happy Valley, they have a red light district.
23:58
Speaker 2: Remember the last coach at Penn State can play because
24:00
Speaker 2: the runway at the airport was not long enough. Eke
24:03
Speaker 2: in Roseville, Minnesota says happy meals. Johnny Q went with
24:07
Speaker 2: a jiggle joint as his answer. JT the wingman said
24:11
Speaker 2: a culvers so we can eat those delicious cheese curds
24:14
Speaker 2: and butterburgers. Yeah, I don't think they have one in
24:17
Speaker 2: Happy Valley and Applebee's from Gunner at the Walmart in Minnesota.
24:24
Speaker 1: Bill, who's your Bill?
24:25
Speaker 2: Says the art of the sixty second live read breathtaking. Yeah,
24:31
Speaker 2: those live reads are not sixty seconds, so like two minutes?
24:34
Speaker 1: What else do we have?
24:34
Speaker 2: Let's see page down here. I can't read that. Ryan
24:38
Speaker 2: in Mexico just took a shot at Artie Marino. He says,
24:42
Speaker 2: every time you bring up Artie Marino, you just keep
24:44
Speaker 2: sticking the knife.
24:45
Speaker 1: Deeper and deeper.
24:47
Speaker 2: Well, you shouldn't be that upset, Ryan, because the Angel
24:50
Speaker 2: fans have now every night this week it's been rhythmic.
24:52
Speaker 1: Chanting, Sell the team, sell the team, and things like that.
24:57
Speaker 2: All right, here we go, let's pay off the Malla riddle.
24:59
Speaker 2: Penn State coach Matt Campbell, the football coach of Penn State,
25:02
Speaker 2: seemed genuinely excited recently that Happy Valley has a blank
25:08
Speaker 2: a blankety blank, stay thirsty, set a strip club, free
25:13
Speaker 2: massages compliments of Justin Tucker, guests by the Baltimore Media
25:17
Speaker 2: Freeloaders account. Do you have an answer, Loraina cooking potions,
25:23
Speaker 2: cooking potions. Is that correct? No, the correct answer would
25:28
Speaker 2: be a Trader Joe's. Trader Joe I read a story
25:39
Speaker 2: I think this was on the Fifth Hour podcast. We
25:41
Speaker 2: did this one weekend that the property values go up
25:47
Speaker 2: if you have.
25:47
Speaker 1: A Trader Joe's. Isn't that crazy? Wow?
25:51
Speaker 2: Just like living near a Trader jose If you happen
25:53
Speaker 2: to live in a neighborhood and they open up a
25:54
Speaker 2: Trader Joe's, the value of your home will go up.
25:57
Speaker 2: It'll become a They only put those things in that
26:00
Speaker 2: in nice neighborhoods. Although when I was in Manhattan visiting
26:04
Speaker 2: my brother, there was a Trader Joe's in the city,
26:07
Speaker 2: and there was one like a half a block down.
26:10
Speaker 2: There's this new I forget what they're calling it, but
26:13
Speaker 2: it's like a quick stop, like a mini mart version
26:16
Speaker 2: of Trader Joe's that they're testing in New York.
26:19
Speaker 1: And I walked in.
26:20
Speaker 2: I'm like, this does not seem like a normal Trader Joe's.
26:23
Speaker 2: What the hell happened? And my brother was explaining to me.
26:26
Speaker 2: He said, no, that's a test for Trader Joe's, where
26:29
Speaker 2: they just have like the quick cert you know, those
26:30
Speaker 2: meals you can get and heat up and you.
26:32
Speaker 4: Know, so you don't really walk inside, like do you
26:34
Speaker 4: just was it like a pickup window?
26:36
Speaker 1: No?
26:36
Speaker 2: I mean there is a store, it's just more like
26:39
Speaker 2: a seven eleven type thing, or if you're in Philly,
26:42
Speaker 2: like a wah wahs or a mini mart type thing.
26:45
Speaker 2: And so it's a store, but it's just a smaller thing.
26:49
Speaker 2: So I don't think that's going to take off because
26:51
Speaker 2: I was disappointed. I was like, where's all my Trader
26:54
Speaker 2: Joe's crap? And it was just a little bit.
26:56
Speaker 4: I just went to Trader Joe's the first time, like
26:59
Speaker 4: two weeks ago.
27:00
Speaker 1: Congrats.
27:00
Speaker 2: You always remember your first time, Lorena, You'll always remember
27:03
Speaker 2: that day right there. Yeah.
27:04
Speaker 4: I saw this viral post that said they had really
27:07
Speaker 4: good skincare products, so I went and got some and
27:10
Speaker 4: some hair oil. I'm very pleased so far. Okay, Trader
27:15
Speaker 4: Joe's Pronto.
27:17
Speaker 1: Oh oh, you looked it up. I wasn't. I wasn't
27:19
Speaker 1: making it up, coop right, I'm not making it up.
27:23
Speaker 4: So the ultimate small store concept is Pronto.
27:26
Speaker 1: I don't like it.
27:27
Speaker 2: The issue, too, is like a block away was a
27:30
Speaker 2: full Trader Joe's. So It was confusing because like, what
27:33
Speaker 2: the hell, Like, why would you be right next to
27:35
Speaker 2: a full Trader Joe's.
27:36
Speaker 4: The first location opened in Union Square in New York.
27:39
Speaker 2: Oh, that's where my brother lives right near there in
27:41
Speaker 2: Union Square in Manhattan. So oh that's the first one. Yeah,
27:45
Speaker 2: a little bit of Trader Joe's history. I did not
27:48
Speaker 2: realize that was the first location.
27:50
Speaker 1: I had no idea.
27:51
Speaker 4: Did you did you see? Did you see Ben? That
27:53
Speaker 4: the thermometer in Baker is on sale for getting rid
27:58
Speaker 4: of it?
27:59
Speaker 1: They're getting rid of it.
28:00
Speaker 4: No, they're not getting rid of it. They're selling it.
28:02
Speaker 1: They're gonna have a new one.
28:04
Speaker 4: No, no, you can, like you can buy the world's
28:07
Speaker 4: tallest thermometer. I was also confused.
28:09
Speaker 1: Ben.
28:09
Speaker 4: It comes with a gift shop. It has like an
28:12
Speaker 4: electric charging station.
28:13
Speaker 1: And oh I see, okay hermometer. Oh I got you.
28:18
Speaker 1: So you can have your business there.
28:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you make it? The Ben Mallard pit stop?
28:23
Speaker 1: Great? Hey, I love Baker. It's right near Zazis Road
28:28
Speaker 1: right Yeah. Yeah, it's next to a dairy queen. What
28:32
Speaker 1: else do you need?
28:34
Speaker 4: Only one eight seven million dollars?
28:37
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? That's that much?
28:43
Speaker 2: Well, now that Prim's closed, it's a ghost town on
28:45
Speaker 2: the Nevada California border.
28:48
Speaker 1: That would mean more people need to stop.
28:50
Speaker 4: In Baker, right, that's a good point.
28:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you can get your Alien Beef
28:54
Speaker 2: Jerky and Baker. They have a hotel, Alien Beef Jerky
28:58
Speaker 2: Hotel right there in Baker. And there's ah, I was
29:02
Speaker 2: going to the Mad Greet. Yeah, they added a hotel
29:05
Speaker 2: the last couple of years.
29:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to stay there?
29:08
Speaker 4: I kind of do. That sounds fine.
29:09
Speaker 2: You could do a Mallard meet and greet and Baker
29:12
Speaker 2: Oh awesome, yes, amazing.
29:14
Speaker 1: Have you ever been to Death Valley?
29:16
Speaker 4: I don't think so.
29:18
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you remember you usually do you fly
29:22
Speaker 1: to bab.
29:24
Speaker 4: You drive?
29:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's you've driven through Death. There's a national park
29:27
Speaker 2: out there, Death Valley National Park. For those of you
29:31
Speaker 2: that give a rat's ass about geography. Let's say hello
29:33
Speaker 2: to Eenie Meenie, miney Moe. Let's go to Minneapolis, Minnesota.
29:37
Speaker 2: Hollering James is next up? Hello, hollering James.
29:44
Speaker 3: May Day, may Day. Maybe it's the twenty versus of
29:47
Speaker 3: may Day.
29:53
Speaker 1: Do you know that James? Come on, buddy, what's going on?
29:59
Speaker 3: One of the Wins land that picture that's out there
30:04
Speaker 3: from the Detroit Tigers, like way back in the day
30:07
Speaker 3: when they land mister Jack Morris.
30:13
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm not gonna bet on that.
30:16
Speaker 1: I I don't see that.
30:17
Speaker 3: You won't bet.
30:18
Speaker 2: The Twins aren't trying to They're not trying to win.
30:20
Speaker 2: And the goodness is, I can tell the Twins didn't
30:23
Speaker 2: play on Thursday. You know how I can tell the
30:25
Speaker 2: Twins didn't play on Thursday. I can get terrib them
30:29
Speaker 2: because your voice sounds somewhat normal. You said you lost
30:32
Speaker 2: your voice screaming like a banshee over the Minnesota Twins.
30:37
Speaker 3: You know, I got a twins half or twenty bucks
30:40
Speaker 3: that a guy went out of a machine, you know,
30:43
Speaker 3: those little klam machines that drops a armed down or
30:47
Speaker 3: a cramaceutical arm down that picks up the hat. He
30:51
Speaker 3: paid no more than fifty to seventy five dollars and
30:56
Speaker 3: two bucks to win man hat. I overpriced it and
31:00
Speaker 3: bought it right off of him, and I even seen
31:02
Speaker 3: him win it then. And as much as.
31:04
Speaker 2: The sports, actually it's actually that's a deal because most
31:09
Speaker 2: hats toy like fifty bucks, I know, but that.
31:12
Speaker 3: Hat was twenty Bucks. It was that as special to
31:15
Speaker 3: him as it was to me, because in ninety one
31:19
Speaker 3: when my dad was not alive, but in nineteen eighty seven,
31:24
Speaker 3: his very last bet when they had sweet music while
31:30
Speaker 3: oh and be home by eleven, I'm dating myself now,
31:36
Speaker 3: and they had singing smoke why bear and dear?
31:40
Speaker 5: Oh?
31:41
Speaker 1: I remember one bearing gear in the bullpen?
31:43
Speaker 2: Yeah?
31:43
Speaker 3: Absolutely, one bearing gear the Mexican from Mexico like Eduardo.
31:48
Speaker 3: So I want to see Eduardo's documents to see if
31:51
Speaker 3: he's a real Mexican. Now tell meet you when you come.
31:55
Speaker 1: To minab Melexico.
31:57
Speaker 3: Yes, don't hang up on me? Who said that?
32:01
Speaker 1: I didn't say that.
32:02
Speaker 4: What are you talking about?
32:03
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that.
32:04
Speaker 3: I don't know. You shouldn't let me go? Why?
32:07
Speaker 1: Why? Why are you so paranoid about me hanging up
32:09
Speaker 1: on you? What's going on with that?
32:11
Speaker 3: Man? I don't sound like weave man hippie. I don't know.
32:15
Speaker 3: Took it for a mistake that I kept calling and
32:17
Speaker 3: hanging up?
32:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you do that? You should keep calling?
32:21
Speaker 3: Why do you?
32:22
Speaker 1: Why do you call? And you shouldn't call and hang up?
32:24
Speaker 1: What's up with that?
32:25
Speaker 3: Ill through? Because the line was busy. That's how popular
32:30
Speaker 3: aports right now.
32:31
Speaker 2: I understand, I understand. All right, we got jokes. Don't
32:34
Speaker 2: you want to hear the jokes, James, The jokes are
32:35
Speaker 2: coming up.
32:36
Speaker 3: If I keep talking, I am the joke. I'm the joker.
32:41
Speaker 1: But Joch, Yes, Okay, all right, I'm gonna hang out.
32:46
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hang out. Ill put you on hold. Okay,
32:47
Speaker 1: I'll put you on hold. You stay right there.
32:49
Speaker 2: We've got big bands, lame jokes of the week that'll
32:53
Speaker 2: be coming up a little bit later, and the many
32:58
Speaker 2: great joke writers. We need our buddy Billy from Hollywood, Florida,
33:01
Speaker 2: weed man, hippie.
33:03
Speaker 1: But we're gonna have.
33:03
Speaker 2: Big Ben's lame jokes of the week for the rest
33:07
Speaker 2: of the hour. All the funny lines, all those zingers,
33:11
Speaker 2: all that stuff. The comedy club opens is this is
33:14
Speaker 2: the longest running comedy club. We were the only comedy club.
33:18
Speaker 2: We man tells me this all time. We're the only
33:19
Speaker 2: comedy club open during the pandemic.
33:21
Speaker 4: We did not see your jokes, so man.
33:24
Speaker 2: Well they're not funny, but we try. That's all that mess.
33:26
Speaker 2: As long as we play the laugh track after every joke,
33:28
Speaker 2: you'll laugh at them. I think there's at least three
33:30
Speaker 2: jokes that you're gonna laugh at or your money back.
33:33
Speaker 1: So yeah, all right, we'll get to that and Big Ben's.
33:36
Speaker 2: Lame Jokes of the week unbelievable and it's next.
33:40
Speaker 5: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
33:42
Speaker 5: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
33:45
Speaker 2: Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Mahler Show.
33:49
Speaker 2: We know you have options, not good ones. We're glad
33:51
Speaker 2: you have chosen to hang out with us, and we
33:55
Speaker 2: thank you. Molment's away from Big Ben's lame Jokes of
33:57
Speaker 2: the Week. Now, sometime I'm late at night, radio stations
34:03
Speaker 2: power down the transmitter, they do maintenance on the transmitter,
34:06
Speaker 2: or sometimes they'll even put on weird faraway sporting events
34:12
Speaker 2: and cover us up. You are never covered up. On
34:15
Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app the Fox Sports Radio Channel, you can
34:19
Speaker 2: hear this show all night every night. The Ben Malor
34:22
Speaker 2: Show broadcast on the Fox Sports Radio Channel Live. Also
34:26
Speaker 2: the Ben Maler Show podcast and the Weekend Fifth Hour Podcast.
34:30
Speaker 2: A special episode of the podcast for Friday with a
34:35
Speaker 2: never before told tale. The highest honor in the Mallard
34:39
Speaker 2: Militia bestowed upon me by a random listener.
34:41
Speaker 1: You'll find out without a random listerer, but you'll find
34:43
Speaker 1: out who. So check out the iHeart Radio app and
34:47
Speaker 1: make the Ben Mallor Show a P one.
34:49
Speaker 2: You can become a P one of the show, Fifth
34:52
Speaker 2: Hour podcast and of course the Fox Sports radio channels.
34:55
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
35:00
Speaker 5: Knock knock.
35:00
Speaker 4: Who's there?
35:01
Speaker 5: Blame week? Blame week too. It's Big Ben's lame joke.
35:05
Speaker 1: Of the week. Hi, here we go, lame.
35:10
Speaker 2: Jokes for the week every week at about this time
35:15
Speaker 2: every week. All right, here we go, right now, time
35:19
Speaker 2: to have some fun. We welcome in from Hollywood. Hooray
35:22
Speaker 2: for Hollywood. Not Bollywood Hollywood, and not California's Hollywood. That
35:28
Speaker 2: would be the Hollywood in Florida, the entertainment capital for
35:31
Speaker 2: weed man.
35:32
Speaker 1: Hippie. Hello, weed man, hippie.
35:34
Speaker 5: Hey Ben, make me laugh?
35:38
Speaker 3: All right?
35:38
Speaker 1: How is Hollywood, Florida treating you? Weed man? Do you
35:41
Speaker 1: leave your house at all? Or you stay home all day?
35:43
Speaker 1: Are you a hoigh?
35:44
Speaker 3: I wish I had someplace to go. I want to
35:47
Speaker 3: get out of here.
35:48
Speaker 1: Where would you like to go?
35:51
Speaker 2: I don't know.
35:52
Speaker 3: I just like I have something to do. I got
35:55
Speaker 3: nothing to do I need something?
35:57
Speaker 1: Oh, you're bored? I got you. I am I'm doing
36:00
Speaker 1: get back to panhandling what you used to do?
36:04
Speaker 5: Now there's no place around here to do it?
36:08
Speaker 1: Really, okay?
36:10
Speaker 4: Don't you go to the movies?
36:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, go to the movies, or yeah, give you that.
36:14
Speaker 4: Let's go to the movie theater like that.
36:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no movie theater around here.
36:22
Speaker 1: How far away are How far away are you from
36:24
Speaker 1: the beach?
36:26
Speaker 3: I don't know. Really, I should find I should find
36:31
Speaker 3: that out.
36:31
Speaker 2: Really okay, I got can't.
36:37
Speaker 3: You know?
36:38
Speaker 1: There's a whole big world out there. We man, go
36:40
Speaker 1: out there and enjoy yourself.
36:42
Speaker 3: You know.
36:44
Speaker 2: How come every time a listener wants to meet you
36:46
Speaker 2: when they come to a town like Malord prop guy,
36:48
Speaker 2: your ghost them, what's up with that?
36:52
Speaker 3: I wish?
36:52
Speaker 5: I wish somebody'd come here and wait. Man.
36:55
Speaker 2: Multiple times we've had fans of the show that wanted
36:58
Speaker 2: to meet you. Remember Ed from Spokane and Christina from Spokane.
37:02
Speaker 1: They wanted to meet you. Did you ever meet them?
37:04
Speaker 1: I don't think you did.
37:06
Speaker 2: No, No, of course, all right, big Ben's lame jokes
37:09
Speaker 2: in the week. Here we go, actual jokes by actual listeners.
37:11
Speaker 2: If you'd like to send jokes in for a future
37:13
Speaker 2: episode of the show. It's Benmahler's Show at gmail dot com.
37:17
Speaker 1: Put jokes in the headlines Ben Malors Show at gmail
37:21
Speaker 1: dot com.
37:22
Speaker 2: Did you know that Weedman once lost a bet to
37:25
Speaker 2: Angry Bill?
37:27
Speaker 5: Really?
37:28
Speaker 1: Yes, it was.
37:29
Speaker 2: The first and only time weed Man ever paid a bill.
37:37
Speaker 2: That is from the multi time lame joke writer of
37:41
Speaker 2: the Year, Surfer Todd, the.
37:42
Speaker 1: Comedian in Vegas.
37:45
Speaker 2: Now, why can't Weedman get hired as a landscaper? Why
37:51
Speaker 2: he refuses to use weedkiller?
37:54
Speaker 1: It goes against his religion. That's Brendan from Boston. We
37:59
Speaker 1: sent that one in.
38:01
Speaker 2: Why was the gardner happy when he heard Mark the
38:03
Speaker 2: full name guy.
38:05
Speaker 1: On the show?
38:06
Speaker 2: Why because he loves pussy Willows the flower.
38:11
Speaker 1: Of course, I've said, lucky Tony. We sent that one
38:14
Speaker 1: all right.
38:15
Speaker 2: What is the one Broadway musical that weed Man doesn't
38:19
Speaker 2: like and never has?
38:21
Speaker 1: What rent? That's Surfer Todd the Comedian.
38:31
Speaker 2: That's how you win multiple Benny Awards as the joke
38:34
Speaker 2: writer of the Year. Why did weed Man's pet chameleon
38:38
Speaker 2: stop changing colors?
38:40
Speaker 3: Why?
38:41
Speaker 2: Well, apparently after inhaling secondhand ganja smoke for years. The
38:45
Speaker 2: poor thing developed reptile dysfunction, so it's very sad.
38:51
Speaker 1: It's Terry in Saint Paul.
38:54
Speaker 2: Why did weed Man clench his fist watching the Marlins lose?
38:59
Speaker 3: Why?
39:00
Speaker 2: Well, it turns out you couldn't really grit your teeth,
39:02
Speaker 2: weed Man, you don't have any, so.
39:03
Speaker 5: It's a.
39:05
Speaker 1: That's Eric.
39:08
Speaker 2: Now, weed Man. Do you remember who's been sending you food?
39:11
Speaker 1: Weed Man? Carry You got to say his name.
39:22
Speaker 3: Right, Patio.
39:30
Speaker 1: It rhymes with burrito. How about that? Oh there you go.
39:36
Speaker 4: I'm gonna need you to roll that tongue for me. Yeah,
39:44
Speaker 4: I'm actually hitting some bar right now.
39:48
Speaker 1: Oh very wow?
39:51
Speaker 2: All right, stop bagging, please my god. Why does weed
39:55
Speaker 2: Man hippy preferred candy over steak? Why because the hooth hurts.
40:01
Speaker 2: That's why.
40:01
Speaker 1: That's Daryl those arts.
40:03
Speaker 2: Did you know that weed Man Hippie is upset they
40:06
Speaker 2: closed a bridge near his place?
40:09
Speaker 3: Really?
40:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, he still cannot get over it. He's very upset
40:13
Speaker 2: by guy that's films in the Vale, Texas.
40:16
Speaker 1: Why why is weed Man?
40:18
Speaker 2: Why is weed Man such a good financial advisor?
40:22
Speaker 5: Why?
40:23
Speaker 2: Well, every day he loves to check out how high
40:25
Speaker 2: the gas prizes have risen in Miami. That's Mike Leprocado
40:31
Speaker 2: said that one in thanks Weed Man. Lame jokes up
40:34
Speaker 2: the week, it's perrito, perrito,