Latest / Mommywood / RECUT: Audrey Moore on Self Tape May, Parenthood & the Cost of “Doing It All

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RECUT: Audrey Moore on Self Tape May, Parenthood & the Cost of “Doing It All · Mommywood

0:00
Mom. Welcome to Mommy Wood, the
0:04
podcast where motherhood meets Hollywood.
0:07
Real moms, real talk, no scripts.
0:10
I'm your host Emily Bolt and we are talking about the messy,
0:14
funny and unfiltered side of being a mom in the entertainment
0:18
industry. This episode of Mommy Wood is
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1:11
On Mommy Wood, I'm bringing you a special recut episode.
1:15
This is one of my favorite conversations.
1:18
I am talking with the incredibly honest, very no BS Audrey Moore.
1:22
She's an actor. She's the host of Audrey Helps
1:26
Actors podcast. She is the creator of Self Tape
1:29
May, but more than that, she's someone who actually tells the
1:32
truth about this industry and about life.
1:35
In this conversation, we talk about the part no one explains
1:39
clearly what it actually costs to pursue acting, what happens
1:44
when you add parenting into the mix, and why so many of us feel
1:49
like we're failing when. Really, the math.
1:51
Just isn't adding up. The truth is time, energy and
1:54
money are finite. And if you're trying to build a
1:58
career and raise a human and at the same time, something has to
2:01
give, we also get into friendship.
2:04
Shifts we get into. The lack of transparency around
2:07
how people are actually making this life work and why comparing
2:11
yourself to someone elses version of quote UN quote doing
2:15
it all is basically a losing game.
2:19
And I really. Loved getting Audrey's
2:21
perspective as someone who has chosen not to have kids, how she
2:25
shows up for her friends who are parents, and what she sees from
2:30
the outside that maybe we're too in it to notice.
2:34
This episode feels like a reality check, but in the best
2:38
way, like someone finally saying the quiet part out loud.
2:42
So if you've ever felt stretch too thin behind or like you're
2:49
somehow doing this wrong, you're going to feel very seen in this
2:54
episode. So please enjoy.
2:56
I know you will. This conversation with Audrey
3:00
Moore. Circa 2000 and like 5 from what
3:08
was it that sell the Sam French shop or drama book?
3:11
Shop. That sounds right.
3:14
I love that cute look. Forgot me this one.
3:19
Lazy. Oh, that's hilarious.
3:22
It's the, it's a dumpling restaurant.
3:26
But I was like, isn't really, Yeah, in Connecticut.
3:29
So I was like, I was like, are you trying to tell me something?
3:34
I mean, but does your sister think that you're lazy?
3:37
No. I imagine not.
3:40
I mean, I just didn't know anything forever, you know, I
3:43
just like, I mean, the theme song is I don't know anything.
3:47
I just truly, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't know anything.
3:50
I just, you know, I'm horrified by all the things that I didn't
3:55
know. And even to this day, you know,
3:58
I, I will talk to people who are maybe a little bit ahead of me
4:01
in their careers or maybe have a different professional
4:05
perspective. And we talked to each other and
4:08
I am always learning stuff. I'm like, that's what's
4:11
happening. Is that what people are doing?
4:14
Like, no. So it's a continual unfolding
4:19
because also the business changes so rapidly and the
4:22
expectations on everyone changes so rapidly.
4:25
So I'm also in that loop as well.
4:28
I wish that I had understood more of the other side of the
4:34
business. I think I spent the first eight
4:37
years, 10 years, 15 years thinking that things were
4:40
personal and that it was about how talented I was or was not.
4:46
And now I see it much more as a discipline as much as an art
4:53
form, and also storytelling and being a part of someone else's
5:00
story rather than an actress being outstanding or being a
5:07
disaster, which was mostly my point of view.
5:10
I was just so scared of being a disaster and so desperate to be
5:15
outstanding. And now I have a much fuller
5:18
understanding of what is happening here.
5:22
I mean, I feel very fortunate that I have lots of spirals, but
5:28
I never feel like maybe this isn't it.
5:33
I've always felt that this is it for better, for worse.
5:37
And that does incur a lot of peace and structure because then
5:44
it's about figuring it out as opposed to figuring out if you
5:49
want to quit. And then once you've decided if
5:52
you're going to figure out whether or not you want to quit,
5:53
then you get to figure out how to solve it if you're staying
5:57
in. So for me it was just always
5:59
very a lot of humiliation, a lot of ego unraveling and still to
6:06
this day, and then a weeping probably and napping and
6:13
sleeping and then a decision of how this is solvable, how do I
6:18
solve it? How is that going to happen?
6:20
And does anyone have the answers and if so who are they and can I
6:25
get help? Yeah.
6:27
What? What made you want to get into
6:31
acting in the 1st place? Like, did you grow up with it?
6:34
And like all of the. Just.
6:37
All of your, your background, you know, Yeah.
6:39
I did not grow up with acting in my major life.
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I would say I was in my first play when I was 7 and I always
6:49
say that I had my mother's attention finally, and so I was
6:55
going to sign up for that as long as that was being given.
6:57
No, she came to see me in a play called Come Out Cat.
7:01
I played the cat, of course, and it was written by other
7:06
students. And my mom came to see the the
7:10
play when I was in second grade. And she was like, you were the
7:13
only one we could hear. And from that moment on, my
7:17
being really loud sealed the deal.
7:21
And an actress was born. And really from that, from that
7:25
point on, by the time I was 11, I was in drama class, I was
7:31
doing forensic. I don't know if you ever had
7:33
like speech and debate stuff in your schools, but we had like
7:36
forensics tournaments and I was doing, you know, dramatic
7:40
interpretation and comedic interpretation and duo
7:43
interpretation and oral interpretation, which is just
7:47
basically acting competitions all weekend.
7:49
And I started that maybe when I was 12, I want to say.
7:54
So I've just been doing it pretty much all day every day
7:59
since at least junior high and just never, never stopped.
8:03
But I do feel fortunate in that if anything, the opposite is to
8:08
the if. If I'm thinking about something
8:12
else in my life, I'm actually thinking about all of the things
8:16
that I'm not getting to share as generously with the world in
8:23
terms of my talents or my interests or beliefs.
8:27
And I am maybe a little restricted in time, energy, and
8:31
money as an actress because there's only so much to go
8:34
around. And so I'm, I'm often wondering
8:38
like, is this the best use of Audrey?
8:41
Is this profession, is this pursuit, is this art form the
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best use of Audrey? In addition to am I getting a
8:51
lot of joy out of it? That's so interesting.
8:55
I think that everyone should spend time making sure that it's
8:59
what they want to do as often as possible.
9:01
I really think of acting and particularly the profession of
9:05
acting, but definitely the craft.
9:06
It's just it's easier for people to have a relationship with the
9:09
craft because most people, there's a sense of expression
9:13
and passion that is separate, it seems, in the training realm
9:18
from the professional pursuit of the craft.
9:21
And I find that when it comes to being a professional actor, it's
9:26
almost always not what you thought you were signing up for.
9:30
Once you can realize that almost nothing is what you thought you
9:34
were signing up for, and then they will go from acting as
9:39
sales to another job of sales and to another job of sales and
9:42
to another job of sales. And mostly because it's
9:46
something that you can do relatively cheap, fast, and easy
9:49
to become a part of. Getting your real estate license
9:53
is a much cheaper, faster, easier path than going and
9:57
getting a degree in civil engineering.
10:01
So that's attractive to people because they already feel maybe
10:05
behind in life and they feel tired of being broke and
10:09
frustrated. And so there's a magic to
10:13
salesmanship. But if the thing you hate about
10:15
acting is sales, I would say don't go into sales period.
10:21
Which is hard because I feel like that's like so many things,
10:25
right? It's so many things that don't
10:27
require an intensive degree. Yeah, and even many things that
10:32
do require an intensive degree. Do they?
10:35
And that's its own sort of investigation.
10:37
If you want to become a professional in another field
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and then you're thinking about signing up for grad school and
10:44
you're thinking about another three years and God knows how
10:47
much money that you're going to be putting towards that.
10:49
I just say, like, talk to some people who've graduated and see,
10:52
are they making any money? How do they have a career?
10:57
Did are they in a new mountain of student loan debt in addition
11:03
to their acting school student loan debt?
11:05
And are they, did they need that degree?
11:09
Did they decide, Oh yeah, that degree was valuable?
11:12
Or was it just another sort of payment to a university to make
11:17
you feel safe for a few more years until you were swooped
11:20
back into the horrors of the real world, which is very
11:23
expensive. One of the things I love so much
11:26
about you having this podcast and talking about being a mom
11:30
and an actor, performer or artist, in addition to I don't
11:35
want to leave out the dads out there that are also dealing with
11:38
major struggles in that transition.
11:42
But the math has got a math and I'm pretty tired of all of us
11:48
feeling guilty about feeling tired and overstretched when in
11:58
general people aren't getting paid enough in any profession.
12:02
And then on top of which there isn't support for both
12:10
parenthood. And then we'll get into elder
12:12
care and the things that just need a priority.
12:17
They, they become a zone of your life.
12:20
And I really value that you're doing this podcast and trying to
12:26
explore and also be a sounding board and a microphone to people
12:32
who are discovering the transition between being an
12:38
actress, having their time and going to acting class and maybe
12:41
getting some jobs and getting your SAG card and probably a job
12:47
or, or a couple things like that.
12:48
And then and then being a full time parent, that's, that's a
12:54
huge investment in time, energy and money.
13:00
And if we acknowledge that our time, energy and money are in
13:03
fact finite, then we really have to look at if something else is
13:09
going to be added to your life, something else is going to have
13:12
to be taken away. And that could be sleep.
13:17
That could be health, that could be friendships, that could be
13:21
relationships with more of your family, that could be your
13:24
acting career, that could be acting classes, whatever it is.
13:29
But those resources of time, energy and money, if they're
13:33
going to a living being, then that time, energy and money is
13:41
going to have to be taken from someplace else.
13:43
And I am so passionate about actor parents.
13:50
And I'm so passionate about parents being able to, if they
13:58
can continue their work as an actor.
14:02
Because I believe the narrative and voice and perspective of
14:07
parents is so valuable to us as a society.
14:12
And if then the only people who can afford to continue to pursue
14:17
storytelling are people who can either afford to have kids and
14:25
pursue the career at such a massive level or don't have
14:28
kids, then I don't think we're getting a very fair and
14:34
equitable diverse perspective on our stories.
14:40
I love that. I love everything and thank you.
14:45
Yeah, it is. I feel like before having kids
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or for anybody who's like, if thinking of having kids, it is
14:56
as an actor such a scary thing because you do know you have to.
15:00
You're it's going to be a shift and especially, you know, when
15:03
it comes to money and time, which are like 2 big things with
15:08
kids, especially when they're younger.
15:12
But I it doesn't have to be. And maybe by choice it will be,
15:20
but giving up your career, maybe you, maybe that's your choice
15:26
and you don't want to do that because yeah, it's not.
15:30
Easy. But it doesn't have to be
15:33
because I feel like when you're younger, especially looking at
15:38
it from the younger, I guess I can at least say for me, the
15:43
idea of becoming a parent and doing this seemed selfish.
15:49
And it's like, oh, but I wouldn't say any other any I, I
15:55
wouldn't say that to anybody else.
15:56
Why am I saying it to myself type of thing?
15:59
So again, just because you do become a parent, yeah, maybe I'm
16:06
not taking class every month or maybe I'm not getting my hair
16:13
done XY and like as many as as often or I'm not.
16:17
You know, there are different places that you can piece
16:22
together your money and your time if you still want to pursue
16:27
their career. But Speaking of being a mom, I
16:30
know you're a dog mom. I'm going to rudely ask you the
16:34
question since this is about have you.
16:40
What are you? What is your take on like your
16:43
choice of becoming a mom or not becoming a mom?
16:46
How is? Yeah, I hoped you'd ask this
16:49
question. Mostly because I don't talk
16:51
about parenting very much on the podcast because I'm not a mom
16:57
and I think it can be an asshole move to talk about it unless I'm
17:03
having and then I want to have like a forum.
17:05
I don't want to have a person come on and talk about
17:08
motherhood or or fatherhood or parenthood and being a
17:13
professional actor. I want, I want several.
17:16
I want, I want a huge discussion.
17:19
And I think there should be lots of big discussions because I'm
17:23
such a fan of transparency and I'm such a fan of people knowing
17:28
what they're signing up for in all realms.
17:30
And also then being able to be as prepared as possible and
17:35
hopefully not get scammed, not get destroyed, not have your
17:40
entire self esteem and identity like thrown out the window
17:44
because nobody was talking about anything.
17:48
I feel very fortunate in again, a sense of identity that I
17:53
always knew I wasn't going to have children and not medically
17:58
just as me as a person. I even asked my mom when I was,
18:03
you know, in my early 30s if she ever thought I was going to have
18:06
kids. And my mom goes, no.
18:09
And I was like, oh, that's really impressive.
18:12
Cause as you know, your parents know you so well.
18:15
Your parents just, I mean, even whatever your relationship is,
18:19
there's just something weird and wonky about parents.
18:22
My mom can read my mind and it drives me nuts.
18:26
I will be home and I'll think a thought and she will say it out
18:30
loud to the room. She'll like, you know, it's
18:32
Audrey blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
18:35
And I'm like, get out of my head woman stop.
18:39
So when she said that she never thought I was going to have
18:43
kids, I thought that was really interesting information.
18:48
And I said, what, why? What was that?
18:50
And she said, well, when you were younger, most little girls
18:54
are like my baby, my baby. I have my little baby, this is
18:57
my baby and I love my baby. And she were like my doll, her
19:00
hair going to get a house and paint it and then we're going to
19:05
get her lots of outfits. But it was never my baby.
19:09
It was like my girl, like, hey, girl, what are we doing here
19:14
today? But never a maternal desire in
19:19
that sense. And then I was very fortunate in
19:23
that my mom had children when I was 11, and then she had another
19:28
child when I was 17. And I'm from New Mexico, where a
19:33
solid percentage of my friends already had children by the time
19:37
they were 17. And so that was a unique place
19:41
because my friends had kids while my mom had a kid.
19:46
And if I helped my sister, it was very much like, this is, is
19:51
this my baby? Because that was a normal thing
19:54
growing up. And she said when you were older
20:01
and there are babies born in the households, it either pushes.
20:06
The older child into parenthood or out and it was very clear
20:12
that you were like, I'm out. Like if there was any chance,
20:16
you know, I was like, and again, not in a negative way.
20:20
My friends will too. I love kids.
20:24
I love them. I love hanging out with them.
20:28
I have a blast with them. I genuinely think kids are
20:31
incredible and I love the kids in my life.
20:35
One of the best parts about growing up has been my friends
20:40
who've had kids and I love my friends so much.
20:43
And now they have these extensions of themselves and I
20:47
love them because of course I do, because they're so similar
20:51
to my friends. And it's so great to have little
20:55
mini versions of them walking around in a different experience
20:59
and A and a different perspective, active.
21:02
And so I have nothing but love for both, both children and also
21:08
parenthood. I think it is an incredible
21:12
experience and a beautiful possibility.
21:19
And it's sort of like, well, yeah, I really love, I love
21:23
Hawaii. I don't, I don't want to, I
21:26
don't want to live in Hawaii for 18 years.
21:28
I don't. I can really appreciate it and I
21:30
can think it's magical and beautiful, and yet I love Los
21:34
Angeles. Los Angeles feels like home.
21:37
I love this city, I love this town.
21:38
And it's nothing against Hawaii. It's just personal preference.
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23:19
artists, and if I don't want my friends to go move back home and
23:23
have their family support, then they're going to need the family
23:26
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And so I've made an intentional decision to show up as often as
23:34
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23:40
whatever way that is. And I feel it's been an absolute
23:46
pleasure watching, watching both my friends become the parents
23:51
they're becoming. And because it's always evolving
23:54
and watching the kids continue to grow and, and change and, you
24:00
know, really distress their parents out.
24:02
It's just a real, it's a blasphemy.
24:04
Yeah. It's a real treat.
24:06
Well then it's a. Treat.
24:08
They say, well your friends are very lucky to have you.
24:14
What do you see as as I don't want to say the word outsider,
24:20
but as an outsider viewing your the the parents that are that
24:26
are acting as well. What do you view as like the
24:32
things that you're just like? How does this how does this
24:38
work? Or just like things that that
24:43
you feel maybe aren't talked about for parents that you view
24:49
that maybe you would be like, well, how do you do this?
24:52
Or how do you XY? I think the thing that makes me
24:58
the most frustrated is just the absolute lack of transparency
25:05
about time, energy and money because there is a real fear on
25:11
the part of the person who is thinking of family planning.
25:15
And then what I see for that stage when you are are like, do
25:19
I don't I do I don't, I do I don't I.
25:22
And you've had a passionate pursuit as an actor, and you
25:25
know how hard that already is and how time consuming and
25:28
financially consuming, and it just takes all of your energy,
25:32
right? And so it's this sort of break
25:36
gas, break gas, break gas, break gas, break gas, break gas that
25:39
happens. I find in a lot of actors first,
25:44
maybe 10 years, somewhere between college and having their
25:50
first child because they have enough awareness to know that
25:57
there's going to be a real change in availability once they
26:01
have children. And I think the people it
26:04
surprises the most is, is the actor.
26:06
Dad's out there, but definitely the actor because it just seems
26:11
like the ACT, like men in general have been so poorly in
26:16
in enmeshed and educated and welcomed into the parenthood
26:23
sphere. And I think it's a real
26:26
disservice to everyone, including and especially them.
26:30
And so there is this lack of lack of preparation in terms of
26:36
just the math of time. And so then I think that has a
26:40
truly impactful, it has a, it has a impact on the way that
26:52
then they pursuit their their pursue their career for those
26:56
first ten years because the whole time they're a little bit
26:59
afraid that they'll do all this. And then that'll do something
27:05
about their other dream, which is to be a parent.
27:09
Let me know if you need anything.
27:10
But instead to say, I was going to drop off groceries.
27:16
I can either just go to the store and bring you groceries if
27:21
there's anything specific that you want, or if you already have
27:24
a grocery list, just send it to me.
27:26
But essentially, you don't want to overwhelm the person who's
27:29
already overwhelmed with more choices and decisions.
27:32
So you make the decisions for them and they can either like it
27:36
or not. And it's not your business, it's
27:37
not your problem. But going to the store and
27:40
saying, I've got, I've got this stuff here have groceries or I'm
27:45
hiring you a cleaner to come in this month and clean your house.
27:51
Is there a time that works for you?
27:53
Do you do you prefer to be home or not?
27:56
Would you like me to be home? Like what sort of what
27:59
parameters? But you don't go, do you need a
28:01
cleaner? Do you want somebody to clean
28:03
your house? You just sort of go, I'm getting
28:06
you somebody to clean. Now the person can say, no, now
28:09
it's not a good time. But instead of consider being
28:13
like, is that that? Because people are already like,
28:16
no, I don't, I'm fine. It's just everything's OK
28:18
because you're you. You're overwhelmed.
28:21
And then also, yeah, the dishes thing.
28:23
I can't tell you how many times they've showed up and done
28:25
dishes at my friend's house. And they will be like, you don't
28:27
have to. I'm like, it's fine.
28:29
You have a baby on your boob. Let me do the dishes.
28:33
Let me, please. I'm not going to leave here and
28:37
be like, I mean, she had a baby, but you should have seen the
28:40
dishes in the sink. I mean, come on, girl, get a
28:44
tail. Like what are we talking about?
28:46
So those sorts of things, also walking dogs, things like that.
28:52
Because often in a caretaking position, those things get
28:56
neglected. Loving an animal to having them
29:00
feel loved and valued. And that's something that
29:03
caretakers can start to feel guilty about.
29:06
Yeah, always ordering food is great.
29:08
Asking this is a big one for my friends who had kids is making
29:12
sure if they have any allergies for breastfeeding because maybe
29:16
the baby is sensitive to certain foods.
29:18
And so I don't want to get them something with like a bunch of
29:21
milk in it if then the baby is going to be called.
29:24
Cabbage. Exactly.
29:27
Onions and cabbage for the baby, you know, And so it's like those
29:30
sorts of things, maybe not great.
29:32
And and also just, yeah, offering anything going and
29:42
seeing a movie. Anything is better than nothing.
29:47
Well, true. True, but I would also say that
29:51
like don't just assume that they don't that a mom doesn't want to
29:59
do something because they are like, Oh, I'm not going to
30:02
invite her because she has because she has the baby.
30:05
It's like they half of the time or most of the time, whatever.
30:09
There's another partner that can also watch the like maybe I want
30:13
to go out and like because my husband, God bless him, does 50
30:18
if not more percent of the parenting is great and as it
30:23
should because he's of. The of the parent.
30:26
Yeah, exactly right. Yeah.
30:28
So for me to be able to like, yeah, go to a movie with a
30:33
friend or if somebody asks, yeah, and have those friend, the
30:39
friendships that you can be like, no, I'm just tired.
30:43
Like the friendships where you can be honest and be like like
30:49
no, I just don't want to but please keep inviting me.
30:53
Like, yeah, yeah, you know, we are middle class in Los Angeles.
30:59
We're one of like 3 people that we know that are and you know,
31:05
we don't have children and so that expense is not put upon us.
31:10
We don't have student loan debts.
31:14
We just got very lucky in that. And we don't own a home, so we
31:20
don't have house debt and we don't have a carpet.
31:25
We own our cars, so we don't have that.
31:27
But so that's what we're always like.
31:30
What, what is everyone doing? Like where, where, where is your
31:33
money? Who is paying for your things?
31:35
Where, what is happening? Because it does feel it feels
31:42
insurmountable to even just maintain middle class.
31:49
And that's not just Los Angeles. I mean, the, the whole country
31:54
is expensive now with very few exceptions.
31:58
And so I don't, I don't know how how people are are juggling all
32:05
of it. But more than anything, I just
32:07
want people to understand and feel a lot of empathy for
32:11
themselves and compassion for each other that whatever
32:18
anyone's math is, is, you know, likely not your business.
32:22
And also you're probably not being a jerk.
32:27
You know, it's like you're not earning more because there's
32:29
something wrong with you. It's like, well, that person has
32:31
a house, mostly likely because their parents put the down
32:35
payment on the House and now they're due, they're paying rent
32:40
essentially for the house. And what?
32:43
But you don't have $150,000 to throw in to the down payment on
32:50
a house, which is what it costs in Los Angeles, which is
32:52
different than other markets. Yeah, We'll have friends that
32:55
are like, you just have to get in the market.
32:57
And I'm like with what? Girl, I know and I'm like put.
33:03
Pay $12.00. In the bag like.
33:05
I know exactly. Like exactly.
33:08
I don't think we're. Living in the same reality but
33:14
not to say yeah it you know yeah, but before we run out of
33:20
time. I've already taken so long.
33:23
Well, let's talk about self tape May let's do.
33:26
How did you even? Where did that come from?
33:31
Well. I had started my own self tape
33:34
practice long before self tapes really were even a permanent
33:38
thing. I started self tape practice in
33:40
2014 and I did it for two years. And I did my own self tapes on
33:47
during the daytime. So I would learn sides for an
33:50
hour in the evening and then Monday through Thursday I would
33:53
learn sides for an hour in the evening.
33:55
And then the next day I would give myself one or two takes to
33:59
perform on Tuesday through Friday so that I was doing it
34:04
four days a week. And I did that for two years.
34:08
And I started working a lot. So that was nice.
34:11
And I just sort of realized that we're all going around paying
34:16
people to teach us how to do self tapes.
34:19
And at that time, I had quit my serving job and was just
34:25
pursuing acting full time. And I didn't, and I had, you
34:29
know, I've been like I said, I've been acting forever.
34:31
So I didn't feel that I necessarily needed to go to
34:34
somebody to teach me how to do audition practice.
34:38
I was like, I think I could do it by my by myself and I needed
34:43
my husband to read with me in the morning.
34:44
But we literally had a rule of 2 takes at Max.
34:48
So he could just say another, just try it another way or he'd
34:52
give me a specific direction because it was all about being
34:56
flexible with the idea of getting one or two takes.
34:58
Because in the time some it was like 5050 in the room and self
35:02
tapes. And so the ones that were in the
35:04
room felt like, and, and so I just needed to get comfortable
35:09
with, well, you're going to get one to two chances.
35:11
Good luck. And so I did that for two years
35:14
and it wasn't that hard and I got a lot better and I got a lot
35:22
more comfortable. And I am always looking for
35:27
actors to stop spending money on shit that they don't need to
35:30
spend money on because as we said, it's a real thing in our
35:34
community. And so I just one year in the
35:38
podcast, I said you guys wanted to like, I don't know.
35:42
I was literally like this, like, I don't know sure, why not,
35:45
Let's just do it. And people did because May is a
35:50
notoriously slow month in the industry.
35:52
Nothing happens in May, which is exciting for anyone looking to
35:57
have some time to really work on the work.
36:00
And it's just about doing the tapes.
36:03
Make it as easy for you as possible to just start getting
36:07
some practice in. I encourage people to do
36:11
whatever is best. You know, if you're already in
36:13
class, do stuff you're already doing in class, Just tape it
36:17
again. If you're if you're doing a
36:19
workshop, do that material. If you have old auditions, redo
36:24
your old auditions. See about progress.
36:27
And now that there's not pressure on you and, and it's
36:30
free, it's it's a free movement. And I just encourage people to
36:37
join, join hands with each other virtually or in person.
36:42
Grab your husband slash reader, you grab your upstairs neighbor,
36:47
you grab your friends in class, go on the Internet and grab a
36:53
reader and just just get in the practice of having as many
36:59
auditions as you wish that you had.
37:03
Yeah, yeah. Which is more than we're
37:07
probably having, right? Now really most people want 4
37:11
auditions a week and then they have absolutely no capacity for
37:14
four auditions a week. And so it's just like training
37:17
for anything. If you want to have the capacity
37:20
to run a 20 mile marathon, then you probably should practice
37:26
running a lot because. Yeah.
37:29
And I think, I think it's it, it makes me nervous because I want
37:35
to be like, you know, of course, as a parent, I want to be like,
37:39
I have a kid, I'm too busy. I'd rather you sob and practice
37:44
so that way you're taking the pressure off when it happens.
37:46
You have systems in place already to handle it, yeah.
37:51
I think it's yeah, I think it scares me as a parent, but I.
37:56
Take. I hate and like, you know,
37:59
sometimes I'll do it to myself, but maybe it's different coming
38:02
from my husband where he's like, well, we have kids or whatever,
38:05
or whenever somebody says that and I'm like, so does everyone.
38:10
So or not, but you still have to compete anyway.
38:12
But right, that's the truth. Like it can't like yeah, you can
38:17
use your kid for an excuse to not go to a party you don't want
38:22
to go to use, but like we can't use them as an excuse for your
38:27
career because then. You can, but then it's going to
38:31
have an effect on your career, right?
38:33
Like if you and I are auditioning for the same role
38:37
and I don't have children, I get 48 hours and you have children
38:41
and you get 48 hours. My 48 hours are going to be
38:45
different than yours. Just like if I had a parent with
38:51
Alzheimer's and you, I didn't have a parent with Alzheimer's
38:56
and I was the full time caregiver to my parent then
39:00
being ready for the audition, it's just, it's just going to
39:03
look different on me than it is on you, even though you're a
39:08
caretaker and I'm a caretaker. They're they're just different
39:11
equations. But at the end of the day, if
39:13
you are expected to execute at a level that is the same as
39:18
someone else who has different circumstances than you, well,
39:21
you're all expected to execute. And once you start getting
39:24
competitive, everyone's good. Yeah, everyone is good,
39:29
Everyone's good. Everyone has relationships,
39:32
everyone, everyone has a shot. And so are you going to be able
39:38
to show up in the way that you are capable of showing up given
39:46
your circumstances? Yeah.
39:48
Yeah. I well, I.
39:51
Just tried 4. I just tell people just try to
39:54
do 4. Don't try to do 16, just try to
39:57
do 4. Thank you.
40:00
Yeah, you have a toddler. Try 4, because your toddler's
40:04
not going to be a toddler forever.
40:05
And so if this year you do 4 and next year you do 8 and next year
40:09
you do 12. Yeah.
40:11
You know you'll be happy you did 4.
40:16
Right. Yeah.
40:16
It's like you're going to be once you, once you do it, you're
40:21
never. Yeah.
40:24
Yeah, well, I will. Ask you one final question which
40:28
will be interesting from another perspective of what has been.
40:33
What is currently your lifesaver at the moment?
40:38
It's getting, oh God, so many things.
40:42
I mean, probably usually therapy, you know, mostly
40:48
therapy. I, I've been doing therapy off
40:53
and on since I was like 6. And I, I'm always grateful for
41:01
the perspective of people who have no stake in my life and the
41:09
perspective that they can bring to my experience of my life and
41:13
the choices of my life. And always my husband.
41:16
I mean, he is such a grounded, kind, talented, supportive
41:25
person. And, you know, he's the person
41:28
that if I'm, you know, sitting at night and I'm like, I'm just
41:31
not trying hard enough. And he's like, you're crazy.
41:35
Literally not a single person on earth things Audrey Moore's not
41:38
trying hard enough. So you need to go to sleep and,
41:43
and I, I think that's extremely valuable.
41:45
I feel very fortunate to not only live with somebody who is
41:51
so lovely, but also to live with somebody and love somebody that
41:55
I trust so much so that I can trust it.
41:59
If I'm being crazy, if I'm acting a little weird, then
42:03
he'll just say like, let's calm down.
42:05
And that's really valuable. Well, it's also your
42:08
anniversary. Right.
42:09
It was 15 years. Yeah, that was lovely.
42:13
Thank you. Thank you.
42:15
So much Oh my gosh. Well this has been so, so
42:18
lovely. Yay.
42:20
Glad we. Thank you for having me on.
42:22
And thank you for being so, so open and transparent about
42:28
everything. I, I love it.
42:30
I appreciate. It, it's my brand transparency,
42:32
it's my brand. All right, well, thank you so
42:36
much for having me on. I was really glad I could do it.
42:38
And thanks for all you're doing for your community and for
42:40
making sure that people feel less alone in their parenting
42:43
journey. I hope so.
42:45
Thank you so much. I appreciate.
42:47
You, you got it. All right, I'll chat soon.
42:49
OK, Bye. Thank you so much for listening
42:54
to this episode of Mommy Wood. Now, before you go, if Mommy
42:58
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