Latest / WHAT I'VE LEARNT / Time-Management Expert Kate Christie on Creating Your Life List & Making It Happen

Transcript

Time-Management Expert Kate Christie on Creating Your Life List & Making It Happen · WHAT I'VE LEARNT

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, after turning 50, losing her former life partner to cancer, and seeing her kids move on as young adults, Kate Christie was faced with the fact that life is too short.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it was time to do something about it.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: So Kate created the concept of a lifelist.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: A list of everything she wanted to do and be while she was still young enough to enjoy it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: A list of abundant, joyful new discoveries and opportunities.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Using her unique framework to inspire not only big goals but also real action.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Kate shows you exactly how to design and implement your own life list.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to chat to Kate about this because I think it's a brilliant idea.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, welcome to the What I've Learnt podcast.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to chat to you about so many things on your life list and actually on mine too.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me a little bit about how you ended up creating this wonderful journey for yourself with the book The Lifelist, but also the actual journey of The Life List.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thanks, Deborah, and thank you for having me on your amazing show.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: So the pod uh the book really came about out of personal tragedy.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: My partner and I, we'd been married for many, many, many years.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Our marriage ended, and within a couple of years of that occurring, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And within 11 months of his diagnosis, he'd passed away.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And he was 54 at the time.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, we had three amazing kids.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: They were all teenagers, young adults, and sort of watching them go through that process of watching their father die was it was horrific.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and I guess it's really trite to say, you know, we say life's too short, and but I I so found it it was so profound for me, Deborah.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I just thought I have to live my life really differently.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: And within about probably about eight months of Dan passing away, I wrote an article about it.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an opinion columnist for CEO World magazine, and I write for them on time management.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I I wrote this article, which had nothing to do with time management.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: It was about basically, look, you know, my my partner, my husband's died, and life's too short, and I'm going to live it differently.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm creating a life list.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's the opposite of a bucket list.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a bucket list is what do I want to do before I die?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: A life list is what do I want to do right now while I can live it.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: While you're alive.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: While I'm alive.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And um I sent it off to the magazine.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I honestly I thought, well, that they won't publish this because it's really not what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And within about an hour or two, it was on their front page and it just went crazy.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I had so many people writing to me saying, you know, I love this idea of a lifelist.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I want a lifelist.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I I guess I had a lot of confidence from that response.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I thought there's people want to live differently.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they don't want to wait until later, because later could be too late.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what I did.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I created the book, the framework that I use to create my own life list.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have a big long life list and and I'm ticking it off one by one or 10 by one, or you know, some some some months I tick off a lot, other months it's a bit slower.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: And but I'm living very differently.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I I sort of calling it my upgrade era because I, you know, it's it's time to focus on me.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I well, I certainly love that, and I think a lot of our listeners will love that too, because I think where there's so many constraints, there's so many pressures, there's so many must-do's, have-to-do's, which we've all had, and you know, I also have three children, so I understand, you know, you you raise them, you educate them, you support them, and there's a sense that, you know, you give a lot to your family and to everyone else, and obviously your friends, etc.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: But creating something that is uniquely your path, how is how is that differed now to what you how you were living then?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like what are some of the things that you you know, you say I'm living very differently.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: How how has that changed?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Other than obviously you have your children are older, and tragically, I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your ex-husband, but you somehow have also used it as a power tool to help redefine and recreate your next chapter.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I I think the way I guess I'm living uh differently twofold, it's much more intentional.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think we get into the habit of of just living today the way we did yesterday and the day before, and the day before that.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And we might occasionally say, Hey, where are we going on holidays next year, Dal?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and but that's kind of as far as it gets.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I think the first thing I'd say is it's much more intentional.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: The second thing is it's purposeful in as much as it's audacious and it's big.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just the I'd like to go on a hike, so I'm gonna go on a hike.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's not just the I guess the safe route.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's really sitting down and thinking very deeply, what is gonna make me phenomenally happy?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: How do I want to push myself?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: How do I get myself out of my comfort zone?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And how do I do this so that it's just for me?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, obviously, there will be things on your life list that involve your kids or your family or your partner or whatever.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the driving force behind it is it's got to be about you and what do you want in this life?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I think particularly as women and you know, we have this nurturing spirit, whether it's with our children or our caring for parents or or for others or our employees or our friends, we we just give and give and give so much.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there comes a point in time where you just say, I've kind of had enough of giving.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I want to enter into my selfish era, or at least a little bit less selfless.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of women are kind of feeling that as well.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: We we don't want to abrogate or step away from the responsibilities that we have to others, but we do want to focus a little bit more on ourselves.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there comes a point in time, and maybe it's you know in your 50s and and it might be hormonal, but I think there comes a point in time where you think, is this all there is?
• 6:47
  unknown: Yeah.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually want a bit more.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hear this a lot.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm hearing this a lot from people I know, but also I'm hearing this in a lot of the interviews that I'm doing.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this wonderful platform that where women are speaking up and speaking out about this, they want to live a bigger life.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to live.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's a lot of service that we, you know, as you refer to, there's a lot of giving and a lot of service, all of which is very rewarding and beautiful.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: But whether it's hormonal or whether it's age, or whether it's that finally there's a voice that you start to hear, which is your own.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the irony for me is obviously I'm doing this platform, what I've learned.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it actually literally is a platform for not only women, because there's a lot of men that come on this as well, but it is really interesting to me because the reward, not only can I hear other voices, I can it helps me hear my own.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a real challenge.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much noise in our lives, it's just everywhere distraction, noise, and trying to get that streamlined view of what do I want next?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something I think you've captured really well in the book, but also on your mission.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it must have taken you a while.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I imagine that you were in a towel spin after the trauma of what you'd been through.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: How long did it take you to sort of find that you could actually stop and hear yourself with all of what was going on?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: It look, it took a long time, Deborah, because I had to nurse three children through the diagnosis, the illness, and then the death of their father.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it was a couple of years of me and and almost to to to now as well, really just focusing on them, making sure they're okay.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, after Dan left our marriage, I literally just focused on two things, my kids and my business.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought if I can keep my kids okay and keep my business running, then I'm winning.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, COVID hit, and within a month of COVID hitting, that was when Dan was diagnosed.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I I guess by that time I was already in the habit of just focusing on two things, my kids and my business.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that was it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it was a good couple of years where that's all I did, my kids and my business.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it's actually been a hard habit to break out of.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're nurturers, we're givers, and I feel that my primary role still is to make sure my kids are okay, but they're young adults now, and I think that that gives me a little bit more space and a little bit more freedom, and really asserting it, and I'm asserting my freedom to various levels of success with the kids because I think they also they're very conditioned, I think, to have me there whenever they want me, because I literally have for you know years and years dropped everything.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's a bit of a learning curve, a learning curve for them as well, to sort of say, okay, mum's mum's spreading her wings.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's very interesting to me, too, the way you describe it, because really what you're doing is you're taking inverted commas, the empty nest, and saying, actually, it's not empty, it's just going to be filled with a few new things.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's a really good reframe because you're saying that of course you're still there for your kids, always will be, as I think most mothers would prioritize, but it's not to the exclusion of things that you want to do.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And tell talk to us about, I love what you've done.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So your live list is quite extensive.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you can talk us through maybe your top five priorities and how you're going with them.
• 10:32
  unknown: Yeah.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them are great.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: In the life list, I talk about how you need to sort of fill various buckets.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not just travel and adventure, you know, there's there's relationships, there's health, there's wealth, which is a big one for me because you know, when I was married for 22 years and completely stepped away from my personal responsibility to understand finance.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so coming out of a marriage into this space where I was trying to maintain a business, which I didn't really understand the money behind, that was a huge learning curve.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I think the wealth piece was a big one for me, that whole financial literacy.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that was coupled with a lot of self-recrimination.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was really hard on myself for not being financially literate.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I was a bit unfair to myself.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was something I very much prioritized and continue to prioritize and found a great bank, a great accountant, a great financial advisor who takes me out for lunch and gives me lessons in the market.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I'm Oh, I love that because that underpins your security and therefore allows you an anchor.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Is that is that what you're doing?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: You have to understand this stuff.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I I'm constantly banging on about this to my kids and particularly my daughter, you know, you have to understand your numbers.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, so the the financial side of it's been a big anchor grounding piece for me.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Other top in the top five, I would say I've always been some, I've always wanted to live in Italy and and spend time in Italy, learn Italian.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I've bought an abandoned palazzo in Sicily.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Love this.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're all like secretly so excited for you because it's literally like on all of like I think most people would dream of that, but they don't actually action it because so this is incredible that you're doing this.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that you've got a lot of people following you on Insta who are very me included, who are like, yay, this is amazing.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us a little bit about how this came to be because the logistics are not that straightforward, are they?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, they're not.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: And look, there was so much research.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly spent a long time researching it.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: It dovetailed very nicely into one of my other top five, which was eventually I wanted to fall in love again because it had been a long time since I had been in a relationship.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I very intentionally focused on that in the life list and met a wonderful man.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: We've been together for almost four years, and he's French, so that's very handy.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And he also had this dream of Italy.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we, with my philosophy of life's too short, let's do it, honey.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: We just jumped on a plane last February, and after having done a lot of research and went to a particular area of Sicily that I'd honed in on, and we gave ourselves nine days and we had to find the place we were going to find.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'd set up a whole heap of inspections with real estate agents.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was really challenging because no one speaks English, and rightly so, you know, and I don't speak Italian or Sicilian.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we ended up seeing 13 houses in nine days, and the one we chose was the last one we found with that we saw on like literally the last day.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that has been incredible.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm jumping on a plane.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: I actually literally just dropped my partner at the airport just before I jumped on this call.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: So he's gone back to Sicily and I'll join him in two weeks.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we're going to spend about six weeks painting.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that just sounds ideal.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say, that sounds so the fact that so he's a Melbourne or he's an Australian.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Is he a So he was born in France, but he's been in Australia for about 30 years.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when you had him or when you had the lifeless meeter partner, did you have specifics regarding somebody who would be prepared to, you know, go on your other lifeless journeys?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like how much did that play?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, massively, Deborah.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this is what I was talking about earlier in terms of this sort of real clarity and intentionality.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: So in the life list at the very end, there's like an A to Z of my own life list.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: And in, you know, I I want to go to Italy, you know, I think the S, I want to swim every day.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Al was love.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: I want to fall in love.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a statement in there about who this guy was going to be.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And because I had I obviously hadn't met him.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it was really detailed.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: And it was, you know, what he was going to look like and how he was going to make me feel, and and the shared values we'd have, like right down to he's going to have broad shoulders, you know, it's really detailed.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Really detailed, right?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Really detailed.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Manifestation in its ultimate form.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: Ultimate form.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, I after the book came out, I think the book came on the market in February 2023.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: And we went on our first date on the 3rd of March 2023.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he was literally this list, plus a whole heap of other he was friends, hadn't manifested that bit.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: He can cook, I hadn't manifested that bit.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: He wanted to move to Italy.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't manifested that bit, but all the other, all the other essentials were there.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just think that is brilliant.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And also it gives hope to people because I think there is an element of truth to manifestation.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like you sort of reap what you sow, you you create what you dream, all of that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: There is some.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel there's some element of truth?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think I look I I I all power to the universe.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I if having put it out there, the universe delivered, then I am phenomenally grateful.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm a big believer in if we're really intentional and we are very, very clear on what we want and what we want from our goals, and we articulate them phenomenally clearly.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a a 15-step framework in the book where I say, here is exactly how you do this, whether it's f finding love or getting your finances sorted or buy buying a palazzo.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: So here are the 15 steps.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it involves, you know, that beautiful, powerful intersection between being intentional and and and creating momentum for yourself.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And if you start yourself on this track of implementing against these very intentional goals, then it will happen.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: You will get exactly what you've asked for.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: You just have to be very intentional about it and then you have to take action.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know the definition of momentum is mass in motion.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: And we are mass.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we have to be in motion in order to have momentum.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: You have to take steps.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: You need to know what each of those steps are going to be.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it wasn't just a matter of saying, oh, well, I want to buy a palazzo, bang, it happens.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: There were then, you know, probably two, three hundred little steps and actions that I had to take to make that happen.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: But once you have momentum, it just all keeps rolling.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think so, so for you, the palazzo is very symbolic too, because it also is an exemplification of really visualizing, but also creating something that's very tangible that is transformative for you.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I gather that you're in Australia part-time and there part-time.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is that your intention?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so that way you're here with your family, and then you also have this beautiful project.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think one of the challenges for many people I speak to the midlife, where especially if you've been through some big transformation like divorce or your loss of a partner, people that they can get very stuck.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what you're saying is that momentum is actually something you have the capacity to act to activate.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's internal, but it requires the switch to be flipped.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: It does, it does.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'm I I would never minimize the impact of tragedy, you know, whether it's loss of a partner or a loss of a marriage, or having been through both of those things, it's paralyzing and it's phenomenally challenging.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, we've all had our sadness.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, everyone's got a sad story.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: And my story's no sadder.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: But what I guess I would, you know, the message I want people to take from this is, you know, go through that process of of healing and coming to terms with the tragedy, but then don't let that be the end.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: At some point, you will wake up and think, okay, this is my life.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can take a step today.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can actually design what the next chapter looks like.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to just let it unfold.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to just do what everyone expects of me.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: I actually am in the driver's seat.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: I can write this.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I can't rewrite what's occurred, but I can definitely write what's going to happen.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: And at some point you will hit that where you think, actually, I I'm ready.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I can get back in control and and and design the rest of my life.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And clearly that's something that you've worked very hard at and continue to, I'm sure.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, for you is the challenge, what what was the greatest challenge that you faced?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say, if we take the Palazzo dream, and I know you have many things on that list, but let's just take that.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: What was the greatest challenge for you in taking that first step?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Probably the greatest challenge was not so much in taking the first step, but probably the biggest challenge out of the whole thing was just not understanding, you know, property laws in Italy.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was about to make language and not understanding the inheritance laws.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was so nervous about the fact that anyone from the family of the previous owners could sort of turn up and knock on the door at any stage to say, well, you know, we we actually own this property.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the Italian inheritance laws are very, very different to in Australia.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be named in the will to have an interest in the property.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I was really I was nervous about that.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: How did you reconcile?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: How did that work out then?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So do so you buy the property, but you a relative can turn up at any time and make a claim.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so what you do is uh when you buy a property in uh Sicily or in Italy, there's a state-appointed solicitor essentially.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're called a no we we would call them a notary, so they're a notario, and they sit down and they go through all the documentation.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: So our notario had been through all of the contracts, the will, investigated everyone who could possibly have an interest, and then you go and sit with the sellers and you the buyers, the real estate agents are there, the notario's there, we had the translator there, and then the notary reads through every single document.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like he he had to read every word of every document, like the contract, the will, the title.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like it took about two and a half hours, and then the translators translating at the same time.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And they you then basically rely on their authorizing that the the the title is clean, that the owners are allowed to sell it.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: We were lucky with the place we found because there was only one.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Owner.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: So the property was in the Chinzia's name.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the will was very specific from her parents that they'd left each of their children a specific property.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it was all very it wasn't too complex.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: So it allowed It wasn't too complex, but I've heard some absolute horror stories.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have actually too.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I was really nervous about that side of it, yes.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: So you had to so you went through the process.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then did you actually was it was there a challenge to get finance here or there or like all of the logistics?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would imagine.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I remember being in Sicily and they were always trying to get us to buy a house.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of the people, you know, that was taking us, oh, come look at this amazing house and come look at this.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a lot of those big old beautiful homes that need a lot of work, but the challenge of the trades and the local trades and making sure that you know, I mean, it's a thing.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: So what you've done is quite a feat.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So was that something that you navigated easily, or did you get guidance with a local person with regards to both financing but also renovating and trades and all of that?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we we didn't finance, we we bought it outright.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: But before everyone, you know, raises their hands in horror and says, Oh my god, that's so unrealistic.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: It the prices of property there would was way, way, way, way less than a deposit on a house.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's crazy.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: In in Melbourne.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: So the the price of the property there was, you know, probably about the same as if you bought yourself a reasonably okay new car.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: So we didn't need finance, but we did, we had the notary.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: So usually you would have one meeting with the notary, but I was so overly cautious.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we had two meetings.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: The first one was basically just saying, is everything okay?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Are you sure everything's okay?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is everything going to be okay?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: Please hold my hand, you know.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um then we appointed uh a Geometra, and they are basically like a project manager, not quite an architect, but sort of a project manager.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and that role has been was been was fantastic because he then got all the permits, he found the builders and got quotes for us.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: The very first day we looked at our house, the real estate agents had brought along a translator and Francesca, and she's literally become my best friend.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: So she's great.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: So she just comes everywhere with us.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so she was at all the meetings, she set up the appointments with the bank so we could open bank accounts, and everything's done very personally there.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, here you'd open up a bank account online, there you go and sit and meet the bank manager.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, getting electricity connected to the house, you don't do it online, you actually meet a delegate.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the, you know, we sat down with the a delegate from the electricity company in Francesca's living room and had cannoli and coffee and you know, so yeah, you know, Leo signed us up to electricity, you know.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I love this so much.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's like back in the 70s, like it's like there's an actual person.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is it?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's an actual person, and it's incredible because not only do you bump into them down the street, and it's like ciao Leo, and but if you've got a problem, you just ring Leo and he connects you, reconnects your electricity.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the bank manager, we bump into her, Franca, down the street all the time, and we don't speak Italian, she doesn't speak English, but between all of that, you know, she's invited us over for a barbecue next time we get back there.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just so community-based, Deborah.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just beautiful.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it sounds absolutely divine.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think it taps into what a lot of people are craving, that community, that sense of back to that one-on-one and an intimacy and that village life.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think so, in terms of your renovation project plans, how are they going?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are we going?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are we on track?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are we have you set yourself because it's obviously not your main home, you've got a home here, I'm assuming.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: So it gives you this is a real like a passion project.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, it is.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's our it's a big project.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: We we sort of between the two of us, we sort of refer to it as our beach house.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, whenever we get sort of our plans, our plans become a bit too grand, and I'm looking at, you know,$10,000 couches, it's like, no, come on, it's a beach house, you know, let's get onto marketplace and get a$200 couch.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um so you know, we we're do going sort of through it with in in with through that sort of frame of mind.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: The builders have done the main structural things.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it needed rewiring, re-plumbing.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then obviously, once you bought we bought it, then you discover all the other things that it needed.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it needed a new roof, then the facade kind of you know started falling down, and the the builder's there one day and he's smashing the facade with a hammer.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, Jesus, anything's gonna fucking fall down if you hit it with a hammer.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then the ceiling has fell down.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of been a bit of a revelation, how long's a piece of string kind of project.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and then the builders kind of go missing.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever we return to Australia, you know, the builders go go missing.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: So every time we're coming back, all of a sudden there's a flurry of activity.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: So they're there this week because my partner's flying in tomorrow.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, that is just brilliant.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's such an amazing journey.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just we're we'll all be following you on Insta.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me, so what have you learned through this process about your capacity, about your ability to not only manifest, but to make things happen?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And is it something you think you're always?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know you had a like an extraordinary career prior to this whole period.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that equipped you, or do you think you've learned a lot more?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: What have you learned through this process?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I've learned so much, Deborah.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: I I've learned that I'm I'm a strong, resilient woman.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've learned that I'm incredibly impatient.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: But most of them I probably knew that one already.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've learned that there are so many people feeling exactly the same way as what we've talked about.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: This sense of what else is there?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Am I fulfilled in what I'm doing?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: I've learned that it's a wonderful experience to feel that you're inspiring others to live their best lives.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and, you know, I get emails from people from around the world who've read the book and they write to me and tell me what they're doing.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just such a a joy for me.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I've I've learned that it's kind of really weird as a 56-year-old woman to suddenly be an accidental midlife influencer on Instagram.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Go girl.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's great.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's a lot of us out there, and there's a lot of people who are watching you with bated breath and and feeling inspired.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think at the end of the day, you've given yourself agency, but you've shown that we all have our agency if we choose to grab it and take it.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it gives it gives a lot of people hope and optimism in a time of, I think, a lot of saturation of, you know, challenges and people feeling like stuck and overwhelmed by the cost of living here, and all of the, you know, there's a real sense that people are struggling on many levels.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so nice to have a story where somebody has taken something difficult and turned it into something positive.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you've done a wonderful job so far, and I can't wait to see this palazzo.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and hopefully all goes to plan, but in some ways, maybe that's not the point.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: The point is that you've done it and that it's filling your cup, which is really at the end of the day, what we're trying to all do.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you joining us at the What I've Learned Podcast, and wish you all the best with your lifelist.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Deborah.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for joining us on the What I've Learned Podcast.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed that interview because we are so privileged to have a wonderful platform where guests come on and share lessons learned, rivers crossed, mountains climbed.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: We love our shared humanity, and we are so grateful to have such a beautiful community.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: So remember to stay curious, kind, and connected, and we'll see you next time at the What I've Learned Podcast.