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The Relationships That Can Change Your Career · Girl in the Game

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Are you building a career, growing a business, or searching for your next big opportunity?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Then this podcast is for you.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the Girl in the Game herself, your host, Gail Dickey.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, I'm Gail Dickey and welcome back to Girl in the Game.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're talking about something that has probably mattered more in my career than almost anything else: relationships.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, networking.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Although I have to tell you, I don't really love the word networking.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds transactional.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like you walk into a room, collect 25 business cards, connect with everybody on LinkedIn, and somehow you built a network.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: But you haven't.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: You've built a contact list.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's a huge difference.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: A network is made up of people who know you, trust you, remember you, and hopefully want to pick up the phone when you call.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And here's one of the biggest rules of the game: your career may start with what you know.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: But where it goes will very often depend on who knows you, who trusts you, who recommends you, and who is willing to open a door.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's true whether you're 23 trying to get your first real job, or you're 43 in changing industries, or whether you're running a company and trying to close a deal halfway around the world.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Relationships matter.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about how you actually build them.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: First and foremost, stop networking only when you need something.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: We've all gotten that message.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, hi, it's been forever.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Hope you're great.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then the three sentences later come up, by the way, I'm looking for a job.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, we know why you're calling.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes that's perfectly fine.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: People want to help.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if the only time someone hears from you is when you need something, that's not much of a relationship.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: The best relationships are built before you need them.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Stay in touch.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulate somebody when they get promoted.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Send them an article because it made you think of them.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Make an introduction that could help them.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Call occasionally without an agenda.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Ask how they're doing and actually listen to their answer.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be constant.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: We're all busy, but relationships need oxygen.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: You can't ignore someone for 10 years and expect instant intimacy because suddenly you need a favor.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number two: be interested, not just interesting.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: This one has served me my entire career.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Walk into a room curious about other people.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: What are they building?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: What problems are they trying to solve?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: What are they excited about?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: What keeps them up at night?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: What are they seeing in their business that you aren't seeing yet?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: People remember how you make them feel.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the fastest ways to make someone feel valued is to genuinely be interested in what they have to say.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: I've sat across the table from CEOs and entrepreneurs and TV executives, investors, government leaders, plenty of people in gaming and technology, all kinds of people.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, everybody has a story.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody knows something you don't.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So ask, and then just shut up long enough to hear the answer.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds simple.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people aren't listening.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're just waiting for their turn to talk.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be that person.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number three, don't walk into the room asking, what can they do for me?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Ask, what can I bring into this room?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's an idea, information, maybe it's just an introduction, maybe it's energy.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's simply being the person who follows through.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be the most powerful person in the room to have value, and you don't have to be the oldest or most experienced.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 24 and you understand a platform or technology or game or an audience or a cultural shift that the 54-year-old CEO doesn't understand, you have value.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 54 and you live through three industry transformations and know what happens when everybody starts chasing the shiny new thing, you have value.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: The game isn't about everybody having the same value, it's about understanding what your value is.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number four follow up as a superpower.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot tell you how many people lose opportunities because they simply don't follow up.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: You meet someone in a conference, you have a great conversation, you say things like, hey, we should talk, absolutely, and then nothing.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Three weeks go by, six months, more time, and potentially valuable relationships disappear.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Follow up and don't make it complicated.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just great meeting you.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I loved a conversation about AI and content.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Let's continue it.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's enough.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or you mentioned you're looking for someone in sports media.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I know somebody you should meet.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're not just following me up, you're adding value.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: And here's the other thing: if someone introduces you to someone, follow up.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're not only representing yourself, you're representing the person who made the introduction.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number five: your reputation enters the room before you do.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: This is especially important now because your reputation isn't just what people say about you.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's searchable.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's your LinkedIn, it's your social media, the email you sent, whether you showed up, whether you paid somebody when you said you would, whether you kept your word, how you behave when the deal didn't go your way.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's the one people forget.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody can be wonderful when they're getting what they want.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Character shows up when you're not.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: I've had deals work, I've had deals fall apart, I've had people tell me yes and then disappear.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been disappointed, but you learn over time that today's failed deal can involve tomorrow's successful relationship.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: So don't burn down the bridge just because you didn't get across it today.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number six, don't underestimate the weak tie.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: And here's what I mean by that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Some of the people who change your life won't be your best friends.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: They might be somebody you met twice, you know, a former colleague, someone you sat next to at a dinner, a friend of a friend, a person you met at CES or NAB or a game conference, a media event, you know, a university, anywhere, an airport lounge.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: And six months or six years later, your name comes up and they say, I know someone you should talk to.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I tell people don't decide too quickly who matters.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Treat people well.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: The assistant today may run that company tomorrow.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: The intern may become the producer.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: The junior executive may become the studio head.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, even if they don't, treat them well because that's who you are.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number seven: build across generations.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: This is a big one for Girl in the Game.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't believe your network should look exactly like you.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I want people in my life who are younger than me, older than me, in completely different industries from different countries, people who understand things I don't.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 25, find people with experience.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Ask them what they wish they'd known at your age.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 55, don't just sit around with other 55-year-olds talking about how things used to work.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Talk to the 25-year-old who understands how things work now.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's where it gets interesting.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Experience plus fresh perspective is powerful.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And in a world being reshaped by AI and gaming, creators, new media, new business models and technologies, we haven't even named yet.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: You need both.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number eight sometimes you have to make the first move.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I know this can be uncomfortable.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: You see somebody across the room you want to meet.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Go say hello.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: You admire someone's work.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Tell them you want advice, ask respectfully.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: You want to reconnect with somebody, call them.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Don't sit there creating an entire story in your head about why they won't want to hear from you.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Let them decide.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I've done this in my career.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I have walked across the room and talked to a very well-known, important person in business, probably one of the top five in the world.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it worked for me.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I've learned that some of the most interesting relationships begin because somebody just simply had the courage to say, hey, hi, I'm Gail.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: No elaborate strategy.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: Human beings meeting human beings.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number nine, don't confuse access with relationship.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this matters in our social media world.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Following somebody isn't knowing them.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Having their phone number isn't knowing them.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Getting invited into the room doesn't mean you have a relationship with everyone in it.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Trust takes time, and trust is really the currency here.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Can I count on you?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do what you say?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Will you tell me the truth?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Will you protect a confidence?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Will you show up when there isn't anything in it for you?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's a relationship.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number 10, give more than you take.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Not because you're keeping score, exactly the opposite.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Don't keep score.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've made introductions that led to deals I wasn't part of.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've given people ideas, I've shared contacts, I've helped people because I could.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes nothing comes back.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: But because the point isn't I did this for you, so now you owe me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: The point is to become someone who creates value where you go.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: People remember that.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And over a career, believe me, it comes back in ways you could never plan.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be that person that expects something in return just for an introduction.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: So here's your girl in the game challenge.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think of three people.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: One person you've lost touch with who matter to you, one person you can help without asking for anything in return.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And one person you've been wanting to meet but haven't had the nerve to approach.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: This week, reach out to all three.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Not with some giant pits, just start the conversation.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because you never know which conversation changes the game.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, networking isn't about working a room, it's about building a life full of relationships that matter.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Some will become business, some will become friendships, some will last just one meeting, some may last 30 years, because every person you know knows something you don't.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone you meet.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: So stay curious, be generous, follow through, and don't wait until you need somebody to remember you exist.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Gail Dickey.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is Girl in the Game.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, when you see the game differently, you play the game differently.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that's it for today's episode of Girl in the Game.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes, you'll be entered in the grand prize drawing to win a chance for a private VIP day with Gail Dickie herself.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to head on over to girlinthame.com to pick up a free copy of Gail's gift.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Submit your question or ask Gail.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Then join us on the next episode.