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Worst Investments Of 2024 · Two Broke Chicks

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Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land, Always was, always
0:03
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
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Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is
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Speaker 2: Two Broke Chicks to show that shares life lessons and
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Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And welcome
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Speaker 2: to another fabulous episode of Two Broke Chicks, our second
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Speaker 2: last of the year, and today we are sharing the
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Speaker 2: worst investments from twenty twenty four as sent in by
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Speaker 2: you chickies. We're talking purchases, we're talking relationships, we're talking jobs,
0:37
Speaker 2: we're talking at.
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Speaker 1: All the things that wasted your time money are mental
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Speaker 1: health in twenty twenty.
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Speaker 2: Four, honestly, and it will be a good reminder to
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Speaker 2: not let them waste your time, money or mental health
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Speaker 2: in the new year. But first we will start with
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Speaker 2: our obsessions of the week. So what's yours?
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Speaker 3: L Okay, mine's a bit spicy ooh, but I don't
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Speaker 3: mean it to be okay, And it is that imitation
1:00
Speaker 3: is the highest form of flattery, So our Black Friday
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Speaker 3: cheat sheets should be very.
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Speaker 4: Flattered this year. Looped uh huh.
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Speaker 1: You probably saw it on our Instagram stories over the weekend,
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Speaker 1: and we're not going to get into it because it's
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Speaker 1: not worth drama or anything like that. But I want
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Speaker 1: to just say that my obsession is how proud I
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Speaker 1: am of our cheat sheets and the work that we
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Speaker 1: put into them. We've been creating cheat sheets for sale.
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Speaker 4: Events for over three years.
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Speaker 1: We started in twenty twenty one Black Friday, and we
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Speaker 1: have just grown and developed and the work that we
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Speaker 1: put into these is incredible. Like I'm going to back
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Speaker 1: us here, and you know, we start working with brands
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Speaker 1: on exclusive deals months in advance. Our cheat sheet this
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Speaker 1: year not only had exclusive deals the cash back column,
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Speaker 1: but we also were supporting small this year. We asked
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Speaker 1: for small brands to reach out and send in what
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Speaker 1: their offers were, and of course, we are donating all
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Speaker 1: of our revenue to charity. And I am so so
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Speaker 1: happy to announce and say that we've raised over five
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Speaker 1: thousand dollars for victims of domestic violence, Citney Dogs and
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Speaker 1: Cats Home and the people of Palestine. And regardless of
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Speaker 1: whether or not people want to rip off or copy
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Speaker 1: or do whatever they want to do, that has been
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Speaker 1: such an achievement for us this year and we're just
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Speaker 1: so proud. And maybe next year people can maybe lift
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Speaker 1: that up and that charity initiative rather than you know,
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Speaker 1: making and ripping stuff. But I think at the end
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Speaker 1: of the day, I'm really really proud of the work
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Speaker 1: that we've done, and so should you be.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, And also thanks for all of your nice
2:36
Speaker 2: messages to recognizing that and you know, being like O
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Speaker 2: G cheat sheet, I'd never use another one straight. We
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Speaker 2: appreciate the loyalty, but also even the empathy and that
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Speaker 2: you chicks, you know, understood why we would be upset
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Speaker 2: by something like this or frustrated by something like this,
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Speaker 2: and you know, also sending them tools as well and
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Speaker 2: being like have you seen this? I love that people snitching. Yeah, yeah, Like,
3:02
Speaker 2: we would never condone anybody, you know, sending hate to anyone,
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Speaker 2: but we do appreciate the kind messages that you chicks
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Speaker 2: send to us. And that's all we've seen, and we
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Speaker 2: haven't seen any nastiness, So you chicks are just the best.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and again we don't want to condone any nastiness
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Speaker 1: or like anything like that.
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Speaker 2: Of course, never. Okay, My obsession of the week is
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Speaker 2: actually something that I've seen on the internet become an obsession,
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Speaker 2: and I'm not necessarily obsessed with it just yet. But
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Speaker 2: I'm interested. My interest has been.
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Speaker 4: Picked, if you will. She's titillating.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's that pins straight hair is coming back in.
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Speaker 4: I was thinking about this.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you want to know why why the air straight?
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Speaker 1: The dice and air straight.
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Speaker 2: I really want to try it, but you don't wear
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Speaker 2: your hair straight, but maybe I would. I used to, though,
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Speaker 2: for I never ever used to curl my hair or
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Speaker 2: wear my natural curl, and I don't think I'll stray
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Speaker 2: away from that because I do. I have enjoyed embracing
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Speaker 2: my natural hair color a little bit more in my
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Speaker 2: natural curls and everything, but it'd be nice to play
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Speaker 2: with something new, maybe, So I'm like, maybe I'll give
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Speaker 2: it a go. You can go in store and try it,
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Speaker 2: but giving Avril Levine, I also.
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Speaker 4: Know what you'll like. And you are a ride or
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Speaker 4: die for your hair straightener.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, in my GHD, it's kind of all I
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Speaker 2: need at this point.
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Speaker 4: But I'd be.
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Speaker 2: Interested to try because I guess it takes your hair
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Speaker 2: from wet to wet to try and see how that looks. Yeah,
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Speaker 2: not an ad on an ad, but yeah, I was
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Speaker 2: using my GHD to straighten my hair back in the day,
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Speaker 2: and I'll probably continue to use something.
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Speaker 1: You'll be like, I'll be lowering you into your grape
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Speaker 1: being like, fuck, there's a kink at the back of
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Speaker 1: her head.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, just straightening the hair.
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Speaker 2: There always is. The back of my head is none of.
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Speaker 1: My business and it never ever will be no one's business.
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Speaker 4: The back of your own head is no one's business.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't look.
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Speaker 4: I love that. Don't lak God.
5:00
Speaker 2: Should we get into the worst investments of twenty twenty four.
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Speaker 4: Let's go.
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Speaker 1: So the first worst investment of twenty twenty four from
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Speaker 1: the Chicks.
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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say names. We'll make up names. Oh great, okay,
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Speaker 4: So this one's from Gabriella.
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Speaker 3: Ooh.
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Speaker 4: I stated at a job.
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Speaker 1: Even though my body was rejecting my decision, I should
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Speaker 1: have seen the signs. Literally was breaking out so badly,
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Speaker 1: stressed all the time, lost my spark, and for so
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Speaker 1: long while I was there, it was death's a lesson
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Speaker 1: to listen to my gut and my body. There is
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Speaker 1: so much power in listening to your body and what
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Speaker 1: your body is telling you. And I was listening to
5:43
Speaker 1: Florence Given's new book, and it was saying how women
5:47
Speaker 1: are so much more closely aligned to intuition, and they
5:52
Speaker 1: arguably have more intuition, which is why it's been deemed
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Speaker 1: such a wishwashy thing, because the patriarchy or people don't
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Speaker 1: want us to trust our intuition and don't want us
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Speaker 1: to trust that gut feeling that is quite often telling
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Speaker 1: us when something is wrong, and we'll ignore it because
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Speaker 1: we'll put up with it, we'll deal with it, we'll
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Speaker 1: get over it. Whereas trusting your intuition, listening to your gut,
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Speaker 1: trusting your body is going to help you make so
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Speaker 1: much more decisions in life that will save you time, money,
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Speaker 1: or a headache. There was a list that I saw
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Speaker 1: of signs that your body is rejecting your job, and
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Speaker 1: I'll leave a link to the source in the show
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Speaker 1: notes as well. Number One, you get the Sunday scaries,
6:35
Speaker 1: whether or not it's on a Sunday, or you just
6:37
Speaker 1: have anxiety the night before you're ever supposed to go
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Speaker 1: to work whenever. That is, if you are filled with
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Speaker 1: dread about going to work, that's like physically manifesting in
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Speaker 1: your body.
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Speaker 4: It's a sign.
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Speaker 1: Dreading even on your days off, one that we've talked
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Speaker 1: about previously, but revenge procrastination. So if you're staying up
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Speaker 1: super super late just to get some time just for you,
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Speaker 1: and then the next day you're really really tired, and
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Speaker 1: then you're in this toxic cycle of staying up late
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Speaker 1: just to have time for yourself and then being tired,
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Speaker 1: random aches or throwing up from anxiety, crying before, during,
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Speaker 1: and after work. I think it's natural to have moments
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Speaker 1: of heightened emotion during stressful.
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Speaker 4: Times at work.
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Speaker 1: But if this is becoming a consistent thing and you're
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Speaker 1: constantly crying.
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Speaker 4: About your job and your work.
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Speaker 1: This is a sign that this is not serving you. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: and it's super unhealthy. Things like breakouts, skin rashes, missed periods,
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Speaker 1: these are all signs of stress manifesting in your body.
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Speaker 1: Also things like trouble sleeping.
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Speaker 4: Feeling like you're living in a loop.
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Speaker 1: This one was a massive one, like when right now?
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Speaker 1: This one is a massive one. I know at a
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Speaker 1: job that just was not good for me. That's exactly
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Speaker 1: how I felt. I felt like I was in groundhog
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Speaker 1: Day and every day was just exactly the same. And
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Speaker 1: then finally you're missing your sense of self exactly what
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Speaker 1: Gabriella has said, Like she just doesn't have her spark,
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Speaker 1: she doesn't feel like herself, and you kind of feel
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Speaker 1: like you lose that sense of purpose a little bit.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll listen to anything else, but we won't listen
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Speaker 2: to our own bodies and our own intuition. Often that's
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Speaker 2: the last thing that we'll pay attention to. And I
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Speaker 2: think that list is a really good one because maybe
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Speaker 2: you don't realize it, You don't realize how these things
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Speaker 2: are connected, but they are. So pay attention to your
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Speaker 2: body and respect it and leave any situation, whether it's
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Speaker 2: a job or a relationship or circumstance that's making you
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Speaker 2: feel like that because it's not right for you.
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Speaker 1: There's also a thing called a mental resignation, which I
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Speaker 1: love this. So it's basically switching to an indifferent work mode.
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Speaker 1: And as someone who very much put their self worth
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Speaker 1: and happiness as a direct relation to their success and
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Speaker 1: like how well they were doing it their job, even
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Speaker 1: when that job was like really toxic, I think this
9:14
Speaker 1: could be really really helpful because it switches.
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Speaker 4: Your level of worth being tied to your work.
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Speaker 1: So it's basically not investing too much emotion to your job.
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Speaker 1: I know that sounds a lot easier than it sounds,
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Speaker 1: and it probably will be a bit of a process,
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Speaker 1: but it's basically not expecting any recognition or praise or
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Speaker 1: applause for that piece of your life and looking at
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Speaker 1: it more as in your job is to complete responsibilities
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Speaker 1: and tasks and do exactly what your job description is.
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Speaker 1: You go in, you do your job, and then you leave.
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Speaker 1: Your job is not you know, your happiness. It's not
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Speaker 1: your family, it's not your friends, it's not your smile,
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Speaker 1: your laugh, the mo moments that you think about that
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Speaker 1: kind of make you giggle to yourself, and it's more
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Speaker 1: about just doing your role. There was this quote from
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Speaker 1: matriarch Muses and they said, after all, work only buys
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Speaker 1: your time, it does not buy your emotions. So I
10:15
Speaker 1: think when we are stuck in these roles and they
10:19
Speaker 1: do fucking suck, obviously the best course for that is
10:25
Speaker 1: getting out right. But that's not always like plausible, like
10:30
Speaker 1: being like just get a different job, Like that's not
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Speaker 1: how hard it is hard to get a new job.
10:36
Speaker 2: A lot of jobs.
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Speaker 1: Don't pay super well, and you have bills, the cost
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Speaker 1: of living.
10:40
Speaker 4: It's fucking hectic.
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Speaker 1: People are getting made redundant more and more nowadays, so
10:45
Speaker 1: just being like, Okay, just get a different job, Like, yes, obviously,
10:48
Speaker 1: I think everyone in a toxic job that's the dream,
10:51
Speaker 1: is like, yeah, dude, I think I fucking want that.
10:54
Speaker 1: But that's obviously a lot harder than it sounds. So
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Speaker 1: taking more of an objective approach to these toxic work
11:01
Speaker 1: conditions can sometimes help you distance emotionally. But at the
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Speaker 1: end of the day, if you can leave, that's great
11:10
Speaker 1: because you should trust your gut, your body, and your
11:13
Speaker 1: intuition on what's serving you.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
11:16
Speaker 1: And it's crazy when you look at it, when you're
11:19
Speaker 1: like out of it and you look back of all
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Speaker 1: the things that your body was telling you that like
11:24
Speaker 1: this role is fucked.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, or like you see the impact that it has
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Speaker 2: on your relationship down things outside of work.
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Speaker 4: Get out of your fucking shitty jobs if you can.
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Speaker 1: But I think the life lesson and that is trust
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Speaker 1: your gut. Yeah, if you have to force it, it's
11:38
Speaker 1: probably shit. It's my favorite saying in the whole fucking world.
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Speaker 1: It applies to everything. It's good Yeah, jobs, friends, relationships.
11:47
Speaker 4: If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
11:51
Speaker 1: All Right, We're going to read one from the Broke
11:53
Speaker 1: chicks hotline, this is hectic, Okay, hey chicks. My worst
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Speaker 1: investment of twenty twenty four was agreeing to a budget
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Speaker 1: of two hundred dollars each for everyone's twenty first present
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Speaker 1: in our group. As there are nine of us, it
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Speaker 1: meant that each present ends up being worth sixteen hundred dollars.
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Speaker 1: This felt like a good idea at the time, so
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Speaker 1: everyone could get something really special for their twenty first,
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Speaker 1: but has left me broke as fuck. Most of us
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Speaker 1: are still at UNI working part time, and I'm saving
12:27
Speaker 1: up to go on exchange next year, so forking out
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Speaker 1: two hundred dollars once a month for a present actually
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Speaker 1: makes me feel sick.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god.
12:36
Speaker 4: Holy shit.
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Speaker 1: So that means that every single friend is spending six hundred,
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Speaker 1: sixteen hundred dollars a year on their friend's birthday presents.
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Speaker 1: I feel like that doesn't even include if you're going
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Speaker 1: out for drinks, if you're buying something to wear to
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Speaker 1: their birthday, if they're having dinners, trip away, ubers, whatever
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Speaker 1: that is.
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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. I love the self reflection.
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Speaker 1: I love that she's been like, yeah, that was probably
13:04
Speaker 1: not my best idea, but I can see how when
13:07
Speaker 1: you're in the moment you're like, oh yeah.
13:09
Speaker 2: And like, oh yeah, two hundred.
13:11
Speaker 1: Dollars just thinking about the single two hundred dollars.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
13:14
Speaker 2: And I do like the idea of having an agreed
13:16
Speaker 2: amount that you can I love that, especially during milestone
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Speaker 2: years like a twenty first, twenty fifth, thirtieth kind of thing.
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Speaker 1: And I love that you all wanted to get each
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Speaker 1: other something really really special.
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Speaker 2: Came from a nice place. But when you think about
13:29
Speaker 2: it over the course of a year, that is a
13:32
Speaker 2: lot of money. I really hope you guys aren't going
13:35
Speaker 2: to do it again next.
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Speaker 1: Don't do it, not for anyone's thirtieth, fiftieth, whatever that is.
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Speaker 1: I think that probably have all been like ooh, that'sah,
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Speaker 1: maybe a little bit much. Twenty first, like my group
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Speaker 1: of friends at the time did a very very similar
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Speaker 1: thing where we all put in fifty dollars, which even
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Speaker 1: fifty dollars felt like so much by the time you
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Speaker 1: get to like the sixth person, it's birthday, and it's
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Speaker 1: like or in July when everyone's freaking born.
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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, there's always birthdays, like there's a
14:05
Speaker 2: cluster and there's at the same time.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're like, oh my god, another one.
14:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my god. Yeah, that's a good one.
14:13
Speaker 1: I think that's a great one. That's a good lesson learned.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, poor thing.
14:17
Speaker 1: The Chicks Worst investments from twenty twenty four laser hair therapy,
14:22
Speaker 1: fat freezing, and collagen.
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Speaker 2: Ooh interesting. I've never got any of those things. Collagen.
14:34
Speaker 2: I'm like, have I tried like a college powder supprament
14:37
Speaker 2: or powder? But not not really. I don't think I've
14:39
Speaker 2: ever tried any of those things consistently or used them consistently.
14:43
Speaker 2: Maybe been given them as part of a PR pack um,
14:47
Speaker 2: But yeah, I can see that happening potentially. Yeah.
14:50
Speaker 1: I think laser hair therapy has definitely had its moment
14:52
Speaker 1: where people have discussed I think because the marketing for
14:57
Speaker 1: it was like ten sessions and then you don't need
14:59
Speaker 1: any and it's like everyone's like, wait, why have I
15:02
Speaker 1: been doing this for seven years?
15:04
Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly. So I think that that is it. It's
15:08
Speaker 2: the marketing. But I do we also do know people
15:11
Speaker 2: who swear by it and still enjoy it and prefer
15:14
Speaker 2: their convenience of going, you know, every couple of months
15:17
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, rather than shaving or waxing every day.
15:20
Speaker 2: But I think it really is a personal preference.
15:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at someone who has definitely had over ten sessions.
15:26
Speaker 1: I still have fucking hair in places that I was
15:29
Speaker 1: receiving treatment. Yeah, but do you think that, like the
15:33
Speaker 1: quality of it is better than if you were to
15:35
Speaker 1: shave or wax. So yeah, like the hair is definitely thinner,
15:40
Speaker 1: definitely less.
15:41
Speaker 2: Cause and then you don't have to do it yourself
15:43
Speaker 2: every day.
15:44
Speaker 4: But here's the thing.
15:46
Speaker 1: It's like I just felt like it was getting to
15:49
Speaker 1: a point that it was so hard to get in
15:50
Speaker 1: for appointments because it was like you go, you kind
15:55
Speaker 1: of any fake tan on and they use like an
15:57
Speaker 1: alcohol wipe and I'm like, girl, fake.
15:58
Speaker 2: Tan is always going to shove up when you use
16:01
Speaker 2: an hour wipe and they're like it will burn you,
16:04
Speaker 2: and I'm like, just do it.
16:05
Speaker 1: I'll reap the consequences. I'm like, there's none there. But
16:08
Speaker 1: like when you use an alcohol wipe, yes.
16:10
Speaker 4: A little bit is going to come up.
16:12
Speaker 1: I'm probably wrong, but like whatever, And then it's like
16:15
Speaker 1: you can't go in the sun before, you can't go
16:16
Speaker 1: in the sun after. To get a booking on like
16:20
Speaker 1: the day of the week that you can go was
16:22
Speaker 1: really really hard, and I would see a difference definitely,
16:27
Speaker 1: But I haven't gone in quite a while, and like
16:32
Speaker 1: if I shave like the hairs going back like two
16:34
Speaker 1: days later, yeah, you know, regular, which like is annoying,
16:38
Speaker 1: especially after having so many sessions.
16:41
Speaker 4: So I don't know.
16:43
Speaker 1: I think I would probably agree with that because it
16:46
Speaker 1: worked at the time. It worked when I was doing it,
16:49
Speaker 1: but then it's just like, is this like this is
16:52
Speaker 1: like what's the point? Yeah?
16:53
Speaker 4: If it never ends, you know what I mean.
16:58
Speaker 2: An ex worst investment of twenty twenty or from the
17:00
Speaker 2: Chicks gym membership only went once CrossFit membership the gym. Okay,
17:10
Speaker 2: I'm sensing a pattern here. I oh god, five hundred
17:16
Speaker 2: dollars on a meal plan. Whoa, Okay, So there were
17:21
Speaker 2: some common ones there. I think that is so relatable,
17:23
Speaker 2: and that's one that we also get every year, and
17:27
Speaker 2: it comes down to is this something that you were
17:31
Speaker 2: doing before or is this something that you think that
17:34
Speaker 2: you'll really want to do. It's actually one of mine.
17:36
Speaker 2: It would be one of my worst investments of the
17:38
Speaker 2: year is changing my gym membership and doing one that
17:44
Speaker 2: didn't align with the routine that I already had and
17:48
Speaker 2: trying to be like, oh, but I can change it
17:50
Speaker 2: to do this, and I think sometimes that can work.
17:53
Speaker 2: You can always shake up your routine. But for me,
17:55
Speaker 2: it was just like, didn't line up close to where
17:58
Speaker 2: I live, It wasn't convenient, didn't really work work with
18:00
Speaker 2: the times that I usually go, and I was trying
18:03
Speaker 2: to like force a square peg into a round hole.
18:08
Speaker 2: And that's like advice that we give all the time.
18:10
Speaker 2: So don't be too hard in yourself as well, and
18:14
Speaker 2: don't let them not let you cancel.
18:17
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's crazy.
18:20
Speaker 1: Cancelations for like any subscriptions are hard on purpose. Yeah,
18:25
Speaker 1: they make the process difficult. Like if you call, they'll
18:27
Speaker 1: be like, no, you've got to go online, and then
18:31
Speaker 1: you've got to send them an email and then you've
18:32
Speaker 1: got to fill out a form and then like and
18:35
Speaker 1: then it's two weeks from that, and it's like it's
18:37
Speaker 1: on purpose that I think the process of cancelations and
18:41
Speaker 1: canceling subscriptions and memberships needs to have like more of
18:45
Speaker 1: a legal process to it, because it's fucked.
18:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, we need an audit into that, Like
18:51
Speaker 2: you should just be able to go on log in
18:53
Speaker 2: and be like cancel and do it yourself, and do
18:55
Speaker 2: it yourself, like.
18:56
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to contact someone to get a fucking
18:59
Speaker 1: fum back three days later.
19:01
Speaker 2: And it changes all the time.
19:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
19:03
Speaker 2: I find it's.
19:04
Speaker 1: Confusing on purpose, and it's so annoying. Yeah. And it's
19:09
Speaker 1: been like there's even like insurance that I'm like an
19:11
Speaker 1: email and they're like, no, you have to call us,
19:13
Speaker 1: and I'm.
19:13
Speaker 2: Like and then you call and they're like, oh, but
19:15
Speaker 2: you have to send an email.
19:16
Speaker 4: Yes, And I'm like that, Yeah, don't lie to me,
19:20
Speaker 4: you fucking liar.
19:23
Speaker 2: Worst investment of twenty twenty four. One of the chicks said,
19:27
Speaker 2: being a bridesmaid. I want more details, but it's expensive.
19:36
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people would agree to that.
19:38
Speaker 1: I wonder if there's like a statistic that is, like
19:42
Speaker 1: the cost of being a bridesmaid.
19:45
Speaker 4: Let's look it up.
19:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we've spoken about the cost of being a
19:48
Speaker 2: wedding guest, but being a bridesmaid would be a different story.
19:51
Speaker 4: Okay.
19:52
Speaker 1: I found a Reddit thread, which is always a scary
19:55
Speaker 1: place to be.
19:56
Speaker 2: Huh.
19:57
Speaker 1: All right, so one person said it costs them five
20:00
Speaker 1: hundred dollars to one thousand dollars every time they were
20:04
Speaker 1: a bridesmaid. The cost included dress, hair, makeup, nails, bachelorette party,
20:09
Speaker 1: and bridal shower. Another person said, I'm almost at two
20:14
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, including flights for me and my fiancee to
20:18
Speaker 1: get there, and it's not including the bachelor party because
20:22
Speaker 1: that hasn't even been planned yet. Someone said they recently
20:26
Speaker 1: spent six hundred dollars for all of those expenses, that
20:30
Speaker 1: it felt reasonable and nothing was unexpected or forced. That's good,
20:34
Speaker 1: which is good. It's glad, glad that there's some positive ones.
20:39
Speaker 1: Someone just said too much, laugh my ass off, never again.
20:43
Speaker 1: Ah Oh, I've been a bridesmaid three times and it
20:47
Speaker 1: cost me twenty eight dollars. My sister's wedding. Just bought
20:50
Speaker 1: a dress and shoes, no shower, no bachelor party. Thirty
20:53
Speaker 1: dollars for my best friend. Her mum paid for my
20:55
Speaker 1: dress in the hotel room the brides made shared the
20:58
Speaker 1: night before, and four hundhundred and fifty dollars for my
21:01
Speaker 1: friend from college, one hundred and fifty dollars on a dress,
21:03
Speaker 1: and three hundred dollars for the bachelorette. Someone paid seven thousand,
21:07
Speaker 1: two hundred and ninety.
21:10
Speaker 4: Dollars on what they said.
21:12
Speaker 1: I paid one hundred and fifty dollars for the dress,
21:15
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars for the shoes, twenty dollars for the earrings,
21:18
Speaker 1: seven hundred dollars for the hens as it was interstate,
21:21
Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty dollars for nails and fake tan,
21:24
Speaker 1: two hundred dollars for catering while we got ready. Why
21:27
Speaker 1: do I feel like that shouldn't be a brides made
21:28
Speaker 1: expense and six thousand dollars for the wedding gift?
21:34
Speaker 4: What what did you get?
21:36
Speaker 1: But not in real money as I did contra in
21:39
Speaker 1: my business for her for wedding flowers. I paid again
21:42
Speaker 1: in a heartbeat because she's my bestie. Okay, so interesting,
21:48
Speaker 1: So many people in this article it's like one thousand
21:52
Speaker 1: dollars like minimum.
21:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you think about it, because I don't
21:57
Speaker 2: want this to come across as just super negative, because
22:01
Speaker 2: I know that we've spoken about this in the past,
22:03
Speaker 2: and I don't want anybody to feel like, you know,
22:06
Speaker 2: it's a waste of money or anything, because it's not like,
22:09
Speaker 2: you know, you're sharing a really beautiful day with somebody
22:11
Speaker 2: that you care about. But I think it's giving the
22:13
Speaker 2: people in your bridal party the choice one to.
22:16
Speaker 4: Communicate their budget.
22:18
Speaker 1: I do think it is important to acknowledge though, that
22:21
Speaker 1: not having these conversations and not talking about how it's
22:26
Speaker 1: unfair to expect people in your bridal party to spend
22:29
Speaker 1: so much is why we do get so many people
22:31
Speaker 1: reaching out about how their friendships have fallen apart due
22:35
Speaker 1: to being a bridesmaid.
22:36
Speaker 4: Exactly. Like, I completely.
22:37
Speaker 1: Agree with you that it's not at all ragging on anyone, yeah,
22:41
Speaker 1: or anybody having an expensive wedding or you know, their
22:44
Speaker 1: bridesmaids have spent a lot of money. But I think
22:46
Speaker 1: the fact that it's a taboo conversation to talk about
22:50
Speaker 1: money with your friends and you kind of just like,
22:52
Speaker 1: hope no one says anything, yeah, and you're just like,
22:55
Speaker 1: there's so much it is to heat moving on.
22:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that's.
22:59
Speaker 1: A reason why a lot of people do fall apart
23:01
Speaker 1: in friendships due to being a bridesmaid or involved in
23:04
Speaker 1: the wedding at in some way. Yeah, So having like
23:08
Speaker 1: clear boundaries and clear budgets with bridesmaids and friends is
23:13
Speaker 1: really really important and again giving them the choice exactly
23:16
Speaker 1: what you said, because once you're in it you don't
23:18
Speaker 1: really want to be like, oh, this is too much money.
23:19
Speaker 4: I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore.
23:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like that's when it usually comes up.
23:24
Speaker 2: It's sort of resentment starts being right before the wedding,
23:29
Speaker 2: or you hear stories of bridesmaids and after the wedding
23:33
Speaker 2: they never speak to the bride again, Like how awful
23:35
Speaker 2: is that?
23:36
Speaker 1: And I think when you go in and you have
23:37
Speaker 1: that open conversation, people will be so much more excited
23:41
Speaker 1: and happy, and it makes the whole process a lot
23:44
Speaker 1: nicer rather.
23:45
Speaker 4: Than people being like, fuck, there's another bill.
23:48
Speaker 2: Well, that's a wrap on our worst investments. Should we
23:50
Speaker 2: get into advice with the chick, let's do it?
23:58
Speaker 1: Is it normal to have no sex and rarely orgasm
24:01
Speaker 1: during sex?
24:03
Speaker 4: Recently I find I have absolutely no libido.
24:06
Speaker 1: I've been with my partner for three years now and
24:08
Speaker 1: I'm still super attracted to him, but for some reason,
24:11
Speaker 1: I just have no urge to have sex. I don't
24:14
Speaker 1: know what I can do. I have always been super
24:17
Speaker 1: in my head during sex. Even though I feel comfortable
24:19
Speaker 1: and safe, I can never seem to orgasm. I would
24:23
Speaker 1: love any tips on ways to increase my libido and
24:25
Speaker 1: getting closer to finishing first things. First, I want to
24:29
Speaker 1: kind of normalize that that is such a.
24:32
Speaker 4: Common, normal thing that so many.
24:36
Speaker 1: People experience in relationships and out of relationships. Your libido
24:41
Speaker 1: is not some lack constant thing that just is like
24:45
Speaker 1: always there and just is like vibing all the time.
24:49
Speaker 4: Like you do not always want to have sex.
24:52
Speaker 1: That is okay, there's this thing that we feel bad
24:57
Speaker 1: or lack we should always want to have sex all
25:00
Speaker 1: the time, like being horny is the goal, which it's
25:03
Speaker 1: just not like it's just a myth. It's like something
25:06
Speaker 1: that we've been taught from like movies and books and
25:10
Speaker 1: TV shows that it's like, you know, you're always ready.
25:12
Speaker 4: To get down.
25:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.
25:16
Speaker 4: Sex is a task, like sex is a thing to do.
25:19
Speaker 1: So when you're overwhelmed, or you're stressed, or life feels
25:23
Speaker 1: really busy, or you feel like you're barely kind of
25:26
Speaker 1: getting through your to do list, sex can feel like
25:30
Speaker 1: mature and another thing that you just have to do.
25:34
Speaker 1: And so recognizing that you may not have the emotional
25:38
Speaker 1: and mental and physical capacity to be intimate with someone
25:42
Speaker 1: completely alleviates you of that pressure.
25:45
Speaker 4: And when you alleviate pressure on yourself.
25:47
Speaker 1: You'll find that that's when you kind of bring in
25:51
Speaker 1: and reintroduce yourself to want. When you no longer need
25:54
Speaker 1: to do something out of necessity, you'll find that you
25:57
Speaker 1: want to.
25:57
Speaker 4: Do it out of privilege or like.
26:00
Speaker 1: Pursuing it because you're like, oh, I don't have to,
26:02
Speaker 1: I want to, and it completely changes your perspective of it.
26:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Also, not everybody has an orgasm
26:10
Speaker 2: doing penetrative sex. Yeah, so there's also that maybe that's
26:16
Speaker 2: not what works for you. It could be a matter
26:18
Speaker 2: of experimenting with something else, with toys or with a
26:22
Speaker 2: different type of pleasure for you and see how that works.
26:27
Speaker 2: Because I think it's definitely a good sign that you're
26:29
Speaker 2: still attracted to your partner and you still want to
26:31
Speaker 2: feel close and intimate with them. But just because you're
26:35
Speaker 2: not having an orgasm during sex, that doesn't mean that
26:37
Speaker 2: there's something wrong with you.
26:38
Speaker 4: That's also not the goal.
26:41
Speaker 1: No, the goal of sex is to have like an intimate,
26:45
Speaker 1: caring attraction moment with someone, and we're kind of taught that,
26:53
Speaker 1: like the goal is to finish right, especially for the man. Yeah,
27:00
Speaker 1: sex is done a lot of the times, especially in
27:03
Speaker 1: like things like movies and porn and shit like that
27:07
Speaker 1: when the man finishes, right. And so while I completely
27:12
Speaker 1: validate that, like, of course you want to finish, like
27:14
Speaker 1: that's a good time. Yeah, that's not what you have
27:17
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, it's not like the only goal that
27:20
Speaker 1: you can have when you're having sex with a partner.
27:22
Speaker 1: So it's like take away that like, Okay, I have
27:25
Speaker 1: to be horny, Okay, I have to finish, and if
27:28
Speaker 1: I didn't, then that was a waste of time or
27:31
Speaker 1: whatever it is.
27:32
Speaker 4: I think another thing that's really.
27:34
Speaker 1: Important to learn is how you kind of get.
27:39
Speaker 4: That rise in libido.
27:41
Speaker 1: So for a lot of women, they don't have like
27:44
Speaker 1: spontaneous libido, And it's this thing we learned about with
27:47
Speaker 1: our episode with g Spot, and it's basically like how
27:51
Speaker 1: you get horny, and so some people will just randomly
27:55
Speaker 1: have like a spike in their hormones and be like, yep,
27:58
Speaker 1: I'm down, Whereas for a lot of women, especially, it's
28:03
Speaker 1: reaction based and what causes that can be so so
28:08
Speaker 1: different depending on different people. So it might be like
28:13
Speaker 1: your partner sending you like a naughty text message during
28:16
Speaker 1: the day, or it might be them like making out
28:20
Speaker 1: with you for like a good thirty minutes and like
28:23
Speaker 1: really investing in full play, Like you might not be
28:28
Speaker 1: like horny to start that full play, but you'll get.
28:30
Speaker 4: Horny during that full play.
28:32
Speaker 1: Yeah. And one thing that you can do and we
28:35
Speaker 1: recently went and had a facial with love Honey, not
28:39
Speaker 1: in the way that you think, and they had where
28:43
Speaker 1: you could go to Faceille, which is a dermatologist clinic
28:46
Speaker 1: and then afterwards you would have a what would you say,
28:49
Speaker 1: like a session with a sex sexologist. And I was
28:54
Speaker 1: kind of saying the same thing to her. I was like,
28:55
Speaker 1: sometimes I just am like, oh, yeah, shit, gotta do that.
29:00
Speaker 1: Not in that way, not that it's a tool, but
29:01
Speaker 1: like I'm so reaction based, and sometimes I will also
29:05
Speaker 1: get into my head about like I don't feel like
29:07
Speaker 1: doing that all the time. And one thing that you
29:10
Speaker 1: can do is focus on pleasure first, desire second. So
29:14
Speaker 1: maybe that's using a toy or making out or saying
29:19
Speaker 1: all the little things or playing a game, and you
29:22
Speaker 1: focus on the genuine physical feeling of pleasure first and
29:27
Speaker 1: then the desire will follow that. And that's a really
29:29
Speaker 1: cool thing that you could potentially look at doing.
29:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely when I spoke with the sexologists when
29:35
Speaker 2: we went to that session. I was saying, how sometimes
29:39
Speaker 2: I'll get in my head and I can't stop thinking
29:42
Speaker 2: about other things that aren't that take me out of
29:45
Speaker 2: that moment.
29:46
Speaker 4: They got to put the washing out.
29:47
Speaker 2: Yeah and yeah, and it's just like done like a media.
29:51
Speaker 2: I'm taken out of it and it's really hard to
29:53
Speaker 2: get back into that mode. And she was also suggesting,
29:57
Speaker 2: and you mentioned that you get in your head, you know,
30:00
Speaker 2: when you're having sex. So she mentioned that having like
30:05
Speaker 2: different steps that you put in place to remind yourself,
30:08
Speaker 2: like this is sexy time, and to give yourself permission
30:12
Speaker 2: to let go of those other things that might be
30:14
Speaker 2: on your mind. So that could be having a nice,
30:18
Speaker 2: warm shower and like using all of your lotions and
30:21
Speaker 2: potions and putting on like a sexy outfit or like
30:26
Speaker 2: nice pajamas or whatever it is, and then maybe putting
30:30
Speaker 2: on a playlist that'll get you in the mood, and
30:33
Speaker 2: having those physical steps in place that allows you to
30:37
Speaker 2: switch off. And I think all of those things will
30:40
Speaker 2: vary depending on what you're into, but you also could
30:42
Speaker 2: figure out what your like pre sex routine is to
30:45
Speaker 2: get you in the mood.
30:46
Speaker 1: And one thing that you can do during sex if
30:50
Speaker 1: you find that your mind is wandering is like verbally
30:53
Speaker 1: recentering yourself. That was one of the things she also said.
30:57
Speaker 1: It was like, cause your brain will wander and or
31:00
Speaker 1: maybe get in your head that you can verbally be like, oh,
31:02
Speaker 1: you look so hot, like oh, I love it when
31:04
Speaker 1: you do that, and you can verbally like speak to
31:06
Speaker 1: your partner because that kind of forces you to kind
31:09
Speaker 1: of go back to the moment. And when she was
31:11
Speaker 1: doing that, she kept saying all the stuff and then
31:13
Speaker 1: I started getting really horny.
31:15
Speaker 2: I like shit, and she was like, and it was
31:18
Speaker 2: the same thing that happened in that episode with.
31:20
Speaker 1: G' spot when she was like using descriptive language and
31:23
Speaker 1: I felt myself getting all hot.
31:26
Speaker 4: I started laughing.
31:27
Speaker 1: I was like, sorry, I'm getting horny, and she was like,
31:30
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're an audio person. Yeah, So she
31:33
Speaker 1: was like, most people are like visual, like if they
31:36
Speaker 1: see something like that they think is hot, that's when
31:39
Speaker 1: they get horny.
31:40
Speaker 4: But for me, it's when I hear something that I
31:43
Speaker 4: think is hot.
31:43
Speaker 1: So like if someone says something hot or like yeah,
31:48
Speaker 1: if they're just talking to me in a way that
31:50
Speaker 1: I'm like that's fucking hot and I'm like, oh, book.
31:53
Speaker 4: Took, I've done this.
31:55
Speaker 2: This is so huge. Yeah, but I think even recognizing
31:58
Speaker 2: what that is, Yeah, it could be sound, So whether
32:02
Speaker 2: that is like talking or like the sounds that you
32:06
Speaker 2: know happen during the morning the morning. Other things moaning
32:10
Speaker 2: is hot smack men need to moan, but speak up
32:14
Speaker 2: for yourself, ken or yeah, the feeling or if you
32:19
Speaker 2: are more of a visual person like your partner looking
32:22
Speaker 2: really hot, like work are the way. Yeah, figure out
32:27
Speaker 2: what that is for you and focus on that and
32:30
Speaker 2: that will help keep you in the moment. We'll put
32:32
Speaker 2: some links in the show notes to our episodes with
32:35
Speaker 2: g Spoks. I think there'll be a lot of really
32:37
Speaker 2: good advice within those episodes for you as well. One
32:40
Speaker 2: hundred percent.
32:40
Speaker 1: But I think the main thing that to take away
32:43
Speaker 1: is that having a low sex drive or not finishing
32:45
Speaker 1: during sex is a completely normal thing and so many people,
32:49
Speaker 1: so many people experience the exact same thing, including us.
32:52
Speaker 1: So like, do not feel like you are a weird
32:56
Speaker 1: purple crab, just like working through the world that you're
32:59
Speaker 1: like way my lowly.
33:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it's so normal. You're a good baby girl.
33:04
Speaker 2: You're real good, honey good.
33:06
Speaker 1: Thank you soo much for having us in your ear holes.
33:08
Speaker 1: We love to be here and we'll see you on
33:11
Speaker 1: Thursday for our final episode of twenty twenty four.
33:16
Speaker 2: We'll see you then, checks you, then bye bye. Thanks
33:18
Speaker 2: to m I K making today's episode happened, Let Me Bye,