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Transcript

Let's talk : Communication · Fostering Faith

• 0:00
  Welcome to Fostering Faith.
• 0:03
  In this episode, we're going to talk about communication, how to talk to your kids and
• 0:09
  kids how to talk to your parents.
• 0:11
  And so as we open up this episode three, we thought communication is a huge component
• 0:18
  to living in a house with people about getting a job and communicating with your friends.
• 0:24
  It's about everyday life and how to sit in front of somebody and actually have a conversation,
• 0:30
  not text somebody and be fully engaged into a conversation.
• 0:35
  Gia, do you feel like you have great communication skills?
• 0:42
  Yeah, to some people, they're a lot like complete strangers.
• 0:48
  And so what would be a barrier that someone would not want to talk to their parent?
• 0:53
  What do you mean?
• 0:56
  So how do you feel like you have open communication with us?
• 1:02
  Because some parents, they might like tell someone or something because I don't feel
• 1:08
  comfortable with like telling them if they're going to tell like their friend or something.
• 1:11
  But I don't know if I tell my parents, they won't tell anyone.
• 1:15
  So trust issues.
• 1:17
  So you feel like that would be a barrier for a kid, a teen, a young adult to not talk to
• 1:25
  their parents is trust issues.
• 1:27
  So how could someone, how could a parent listening to this build their trust with their child?
• 1:35
  Just like saying like I'm here with you, I'll help you through this and everything.
• 1:41
  Just making them feel like really calm during the situation and everything and like supporting
• 1:46
  them.
• 1:47
  So do you like how we have open communication here?
• 1:54
  What are some things that you wish that other people would take in and they could actually
• 1:59
  implement into their house?
• 2:03
  As far as what are our rules here?
• 2:05
  What's one of the major rules that we have in this house?
• 2:07
  You could tell us or you think?
• 2:10
  Yeah, and I think that we set the stage for that whenever she was little, she would always
• 2:16
  say, Hey, can I tell you something?
• 2:18
  And I would always say, you can tell me anything or Hey, can I tell you this?
• 2:22
  Hey, what's the rules here?
• 2:24
  I can tell you anything because if we don't root them into, I can tell you anything then
• 2:33
  or they feel judged or they feel like you are going to tell somebody else out.
• 2:39
  And so if we don't root that into them whenever they're young, whenever they really have problems
• 2:44
  in like junior high, high school, college, marriage, we've ruined that trust foundation.
• 2:50
  And so having a great foundation and knowing that she can come to me, that she can trust
• 2:56
  me, that we're going to have a discussion.
• 3:00
  And is there going to be judging?
• 3:02
  No, because I'm going to leave literally the judging to Jesus.
• 3:06
  I mean, she understands our principles in this house.
• 3:09
  She understands what is expected of her, but as far as me judging her, if she would come
• 3:16
  up to me and say, Hey, mom, I did drugs or Hey, mom, I did this or Hey, mom, I did that,
• 3:23
  would there be a discussion about it?
• 3:26
  Absolutely.
• 3:27
  Would I hope that she knows better and would not succumb to like peer pressure or wanting
• 3:33
  to try something because there's no topics that are off limits in this house.
• 3:40
  Do you see that whenever you come to us, do we talk it out?
• 3:47
  Do we yell?
• 3:48
  Do we fight?
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  Do we argue?
• 3:50
  Do we sit down like calmly and talk about things?
• 3:53
  We just have a normal discussion, like a normal thing.
• 3:58
  It's not like calm or anything like that, it's just normal.
• 4:06
  Whenever you have a topic that you're afraid to come to us, what makes you finally decide
• 4:13
  to open up about it?
• 4:15
  I talk to God and pray to Him and everything.
• 4:18
  I talk about it because when I talk to God, I feel like so much weight lifts off my chest.
• 4:24
  Sometimes you just have to tell someone and you know God's not going to tell anyone or
• 4:28
  anything like that.
• 4:29
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:30
  That's a great point.
• 4:32
  Is that even if you are, you're listening to this podcast and you don't feel like you
• 4:38
  have anybody that you can turn to, you don't have a best friend or you're not in a situation
• 4:43
  at home where you feel like you trust your parents, you always have God to turn to.
• 4:46
  He's always listening.
• 4:47
  He's always available and just believing in God and walking with Christ is a great
• 4:57
  parent.
• 4:58
  He's a great parent.
• 5:00
  He is our Heavenly Father and He's not going to, He's the one that can judge you and He'll
• 5:06
  tell you what to do.
• 5:07
  He'll tell you right from wrong.
• 5:09
  For believers, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us and to make right decisions and to
• 5:15
  let us know whenever we didn't make the right decision.
• 5:19
  What would some advice that you would be if someone feels silly talking to God?
• 5:24
  Don't be like, because if you don't want anyone to know or like that you talk to God and like
• 5:33
  they think it's like, and that your friends think it's like stupid, you don't have to
• 5:36
  tell them.
• 5:37
  You could just talk to God and just say, hey God, I want to tell you something like and
• 5:41
  blah, blah, blah and all that stuff.
• 5:43
  You don't have to be like embarrassed.
• 5:45
  It's like not silly because like he could take like a lot of weight off your chest.
• 5:49
  Yes, because what does scripture say?
• 5:51
  My burden is light.
• 5:53
  And so a lot of times the things that we are carrying, the burdens that we are like, oh
• 5:58
  my gosh, I hope no one finds out, but who knows everything?
• 6:01
  God.
• 6:02
  And can you hide anything from God?
• 6:05
  No.
• 6:06
  And so as we try to hide things from Him, it's funny because He literally knows that you
• 6:12
  were going to do it.
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  He sees all, He knows all.
• 6:16
  And so whenever we are trying to hide things from people, we can.
• 6:22
  But we cannot hide anything from Him.
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  And is He up there just like with a finger just pointing at you and shaking a fist?
• 6:30
  No.
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  He's a loving dad.
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  Like He knows that you're going to screw up.
• 6:34
  He knows that.
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  But He just wants that relationship with you.
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  He just wants you to come to Him and be like, dad, man, I screwed up today.
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  Like today was not good.
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  Like you know what I did.
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  I'm so sorry.
• 6:48
  And whenever you say you're sorry to God, what's that called to you?
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  Sculpt or mercy.
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  Whenever you go to God and you say, I'm so sorry, I'm not going to do this.
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  What's that called?
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  Repentance.
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  To repent.
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  And so whenever we're coming to Christ and we're saying that we're sorry, it's called
• 7:12
  repentance.
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  We're sorry.
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  We missed the mark.
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  We missed His expectations of us in that situation.
• 7:19
  And so it's about turning away, doing a 360, a 180 from that sin and turning and walking
• 7:26
  away from it and asking Him to help you fight this battle and come to Him.
• 7:32
  And Gia made a really good point is that there's nothing that is too big for your God to handle.
• 7:39
  And so it doesn't matter what it is.
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  You go to Him and you just get it off your chest because He doesn't want you to sit there
• 7:44
  and be miserable.
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  He warily wants that relationship with you.
• 7:50
  Whenever you're talking to God, do you have to come to Him like formal or can you just
• 7:54
  talk to Him like a normal person?
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  Talk to Him like a normal person all the time.
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  You don't have to be anything special.
• 8:01
  You don't have to do anything.
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  You don't have to dress fancy to go to church.
• 8:05
  I mean, the pen don't want church to go to, but you don't have to dress anything fancy.
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  You can just talk to Him and feel free and just natural.
• 8:15
  But it says in scripture that we must fear the Lord.
• 8:20
  If whenever you fear the Lord, you have wisdom.
• 8:24
  That's where you get your wisdom.
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  But fear does not mean like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
• 8:27
  The all of God, the love of God.
• 8:30
  And so we can talk to Him casually, but we always want to keep in mind how the guy that
• 8:38
  made the earth, the person that made just us and just everything that you've ever seen
• 8:46
  that's made by Him.
• 8:47
  And so being in all of God, just being so reverent of just who you're talking to, I
• 8:53
  think is really important too.
• 8:54
  And so addressing Him as Father, as my heavenly Father, as Abba, just this divine being.
• 9:03
  It's just, just to be able to have that conversation.
• 9:09
  And how do we get to have that conversation with God?
• 9:13
  We can have that conversation with Him.
• 9:18
  You can just tell Him anything.
• 9:20
  It's just so easy.
• 9:21
  You can have any type of conversation with Him.
• 9:24
  And we are privileged enough to be Christians, to be able to know that whenever Jesus died,
• 9:30
  the veil was torn, and so back in the Old Testament, people didn't get to go to God.
• 9:37
  They only got to enter that most holy of holies just once a year, and you had to be super
• 9:44
  fancy and all this stuff.
• 9:46
  And so we are so lucky that that veil was torn whenever Jesus died.
• 9:51
  And so we can come to God and ask Him and talk to Him and lament and argue and ask Him
• 9:57
  questions and cry and laugh and be mad.
• 10:00
  And so having that great communication with your parents, but great communication with
• 10:05
  God, I think is so important.
• 10:08
  Is there any advice that you would give to parents how to approach their kids whenever
• 10:14
  they're not talking?
• 10:15
  Just like ask them if anything is wrong or they just want to talk and they'll listen.
• 10:22
  They just don't say anything and just listen.
• 10:25
  They like us kids, they want, if you say something wrong, we're going to say, okay,
• 10:30
  no, nothing wrong.
• 10:31
  But if you just say, I'm listening and then we can like try to open up to you and everything.
• 10:38
  Okay.
• 10:39
  I do think that a lot of times whenever we ask as adults to kids and to young teens
• 10:47
  and young adults that we get the answer of no, nothing's wrong.
• 10:51
  And so is there a, there's there too much just sitting with you, just sitting in silence.
• 10:56
  I think that sitting in silence is a really missed opportunity just to sit on the side
• 11:03
  of your bed, just for you to know that I'm there with you.
• 11:06
  I think can speak volumes.
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  I think that people are afraid to sit in quiet too.
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  And even just sitting quiet with God, not storming through your phone, not listening
• 11:18
  to your Bible or just sitting in the presence of God and just sitting in the presence of
• 11:23
  your child and just be, I'm here for you.
• 11:27
  I'm going to sit here and just, I'm just going to be with you.
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  I'm going to pray for you.
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  And you know, if you feel like talking, you can, if you don't, I understand, but just
• 11:38
  opening that door of communication, I think is so important.
• 11:42
  We often, we also utilize a book here and it's called an open communication book.
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  So if she would ever feel that she cannot speak about something, but she would want to write
• 11:54
  about something, it's a book that she can lay on my bed.
• 11:59
  And it's not to be discussed out loud and we write back and forth with each other if
• 12:04
  she has a difficult situation where she wouldn't feel comfortable speaking out loud, but she
• 12:10
  wants to write about it.
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  And so just keeping different open ways of communication.
• 12:14
  Yes, there's texting, yes, there's writing, but you know, that one-on-one conversation
• 12:20
  that's audible is, is, is so good.
• 12:24
  And so as we end this episode, Gia, is there any advice that you would say in order to
• 12:30
  have a Christ like communication in your family?
• 12:33
  Is there any advice that you would give?
• 12:36
  Just be more like talking and being more open with them and just ask them, okay, can I talk
• 12:43
  to you or anything?
• 12:44
  Just be more open.
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  And as a parent, you know, looking at your children just as God would look at us and
• 12:51
  just in that loving tone and they can, it can be frustrating and it can be, you can make,
• 12:57
  you can be mad, but I just try to think of how God feels whenever I mess up, whenever
• 13:02
  I screw up and however many times that I have, you know, potentially let him down and, and
• 13:08
  he just still loves me.
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  He still opens his hand and just says, come with me, you know, Tracy, it's okay, you know,
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  and so giving that grace and mercy to our kids, I think is important so that we reflect
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  Christ because if he got mad at us and did all the hateful and angry things that we sometimes
• 13:28
  do to our kids, I mean, that's not how we should act.
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  And so this is a reminder.
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  This is a great opportunity to be that reflection of Christ.
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  And so thank you for listening to episode three.
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  Stay tuned for next week and we will see you next week.
• 13:44
  Have a great week.
• 13:45
  Bye.