Latest / Coffee and Bible Time Podcast / What to Do When God Isn't Answering Your Prayers | Kaci Nicole Harlow

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What to Do When God Isn't Answering Your Prayers | Kaci Nicole Harlow · Coffee and Bible Time Podcast

• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: When we're in that space of waiting and God isn't answering, there's so many questions that tend to arise in this of like, God, what am I supposed to do with this wait?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Am I supposed to keep trusting that this is something you have for me?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Keep praying?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Or is the fact that you haven't answered this, does that mean that you don't have this for me?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: We hear so much in Christian circles, like the word to wait on the Lord, but God, what does it even mean to wait on you?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Does that look like just sitting there and not doing anything because we're told to not take control?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or does that look like actively pursuing the thing that you put on our heart, the thing that we desire?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's really kind of the place in my story where God just started to answer so many of these questions through a very long process.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the encouragement I hope to share with others who are in that as well.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast, our goal is to help you delight in God's word and thrive in Christian living.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Each week, we talk to subject matter experts who broaden your biblical understanding, encourage you in hard times, and provide life-building tips to enhance your Christian walk.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: We are so glad you have joined us.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever prayed for something for so long that you eventually started wondering if God really hears you?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you're waiting for a spouse, a child, a job, direction, or simply for God to change a circumstance that you desperately wish were different.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, today we're talking about what it looks like to trust God when the answers we're praying for haven't come yet, and how we can keep following God even when we're disappointed, discouraged, or just tired of waiting.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited today to have Casey Nicole Harlow with us.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: She is a wife, mom, Bible teacher, writer, speaker, and Christian YouTuber who has a passion for helping women know Jesus more deeply and grow in his word.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Casey, I'm so excited to have you with us today.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me, Ellen.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm just thankful for that you've allowed God to work in your life, to share your story as hard as some of the times have been.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think most of us have had moments when we've prayed really specifically for something and God didn't answer in the way that we hoped or on the timeline that we wanted.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us about a time when you've experienced that personally.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think that waiting is something we all experience throughout all of life.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: If I were to ask you, Ellen, if we were to ask each listener, if you were to ask me, I think we could all name something even right now that we're waiting for.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so waiting is just such a part of life.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, that waiting season was the longing for God to bring my husband into my life.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a plan for that, right?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna get married really young.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna be married just out of college at the latest in my mind.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I was truly confident that that was just how things were gonna happen.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: That was my plan.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: That was not God's plan.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so instead of getting married right out of college, I went through most of my 20s still longing for those things while seeing no movement in that area of my life.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And meanwhile, watching so many of my best friends step into those things, become wives, have baby number one, two, three.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can't even tell you how many weddings I was in, and just wondering, God, do you see this desire?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you even care?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when we're in that space of waiting and God isn't answering, there's so many questions that tend to arise in this of like, God, what am I supposed to do with this wait?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Am I supposed to keep trusting that this is something you have for me, keep praying?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or is the fact that you haven't answered this, does that mean that you don't have this for me?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: We hear so much in Christian circles, like the word to wait on the Lord, but God, what does it even mean to wait on you?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Does that look like just sitting there and not doing anything because we're told to not take control?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Or does that look like actively pursuing the thing that you put on our heart, the thing that we desire?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's really kind of the place in my story where God just started to answer so many of these questions through a very long process.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the encouragement I hope to share with others who are in that as well.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: You mentioned in your book that God cares not only what we're waiting for, but about who we're becoming while we wait.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so looking back on one of those waiting seasons, maybe the one you even just mentioned in your own life, what did God end up forming in you that might never have happened if you simply hadn't have gone through that waiting period?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So much.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I don't think I'd be talking to you today.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I'd be doing so many of the things that I'm doing in terms of speaking, writing my YouTube channel, sharing biblical truth and encouragement, the this book that's gonna come out.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because for me, it was really in that space of waiting that those purposes are things that God began to unearth.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: But it didn't start with that outward portion.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: It started with deepening my relationship with Him.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because for me, I grew up in a Christian home, grew up going to church, knew all of the right answers in Sunday school.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, it wasn't until life stopped working for me in the way that I had planned it and imagined it and wanted it to go that God really began to get a hold of my heart.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like whenever I'm getting to know somebody new and learning their story and just hearing about how they came to the Lord or a time that they grew spiritually, they never describe an easy time.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: They always describe a difficult time, a time when life just wasn't going the way that they planned, when they went through suffering.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: God tends to use those difficult times in our lives to really get a hold of our heart.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think the two biggest things that really came out of that were intimacy with the Lord, understanding who he is, who I am in light of him, and then purposes that flowed from that that also impact the purposes I have today as well of being a wife and a mom, that God graciously did give those longings.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I think they look so vastly different because of that waiting period and everything that God did in me than they would have looked if they had happened when I wanted them to happen.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you mentioned this intimacy with God.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: And having been in a mom's ministry for over 20 years, I can't tell you how many times I've heard a woman say, I wouldn't trade that hard time now for anything because it's when I grew closest to the Lord.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: So many people can resonate with that, but it's still so hard because I think there's sometimes an assumption that if we really trust God, we shouldn't feel disappointed with him or what he's doing in our life.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: But that's just really not the case.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: It is possible to be disappointed with God.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us how someone goes about doing that who might be feeling that right now.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think that when we're wrestling with God and have these disappointments, being able to actually bring those before him honestly is more indicative of a genuine relationship with him than feeling like we, you know, are supposed to just understand all the things and not have any doubts or any questions.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think that God desires for us to bring our questions, to bring our doubts, to bring our struggle to trust to him.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: We see all throughout the psalms.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think David is such a beautiful example where he really wrestles with God.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, he writes the psalms of praise and the psalms of victory, but he also writes the psalms of lament and he writes the psalms when he didn't understand what God was doing.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so beautiful to watch how David wrestles with his disappointment or with not understanding.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he brings that to God.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: But then oftentimes we'll see in the Psalms that at the end of the psalm, he is speaking truth to his own heart.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think if you were to think about the people in your life that you're closest to, they're not the people you pretend with.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're not the people who, when they ask you how you're doing and you've got a lot going on, you feel like you need to just say, oh, everything's fine, it's good, and put the smiling face on for the people in your life who you're closest to are the people who you can be real about exactly what's going on.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I would even argue that they're the people you're closest to because you have taken that risk at some point to vulnerably open up to them.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: God wants the same thing for us.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Something else that just really encouraged me in my own waiting story when it came to wrestling, because I think I sometimes felt that guilt as well.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, man, I've wavered in my faith.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've doubted that God is good to me.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've wondered what he's doing.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: But if you look at the life of Abraham, Abraham waited 25 years for God to fulfill the promise he made to him for a son, through whom would eventually come the nation of Israel.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And Abraham, you know, if you read his whole story, he did not have perfect faith.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: He struggled, he wavered.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: There were times that he tried to step in and help God fulfill his word because he didn't believe that God was going to do it himself.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yet when we get to the end of Abraham's story, we're told in scripture that God credited to Abraham his imperfect faith as righteousness.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Him receiving the promise didn't depend on him having perfect faith because God was still faithful to Abraham, even amidst Abraham's imperfect faith.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: And our stories aren't about how perfect our faith is to then earn some sort of blessing.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Our stories are about the faithfulness of God, which persists even amidst the times that we doubt.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And we're told in first or second Timothy that God is faithful to us even when we are faithless.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so my encouragement is to just bring that to God because He's gonna do a lot with it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, he most certainly will.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things you mentioned in your book was that sometimes bringing that disappointment means sharing your story with someone else who can pray for you or be a spiritual guide.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: How have those types of people and pouring out to them really helped you during seasons like this?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Community is so crucial.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: We were not meant to walk this life alone.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I the picture I have in my mind is of Moses and Aaron and her on the two sides of him, where Moses has to keep his hands raised for the Israelites to be winning this battle.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the battle is continuing on for a long time and his arms are tired, and he has these two friends who come alongside of him and who hold up their hands.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: God has called each of us to a unique path that's going to involve both unique callings and exciting things that he's asking us to do, but that might also feel scary, but also unique hardships that will involve waiting or difficulty.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we can't do any of it alone.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: In a sense, we're the only ones who can do it, meaning our friends can't walk through those things with us, but they can be alongside of us holding up our arms.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: And we need that.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do without them.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: We sure can't.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when we pray about something for a really long time and nothing seems to be changing, how do we keep unanswered prayer from becoming evidence in our minds that God doesn't hear us or he doesn't care about us?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think the temptation for that is real.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: When you're living with an unmet desire and something that you're praying for that God hasn't answered yet, that in and of itself is painful and it can bring a sense of hopelessness.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: But what I personally realized is that what brings far more hopelessness is the incorrect view of God that we can start to develop as we try to make sense of that unanswered prayer.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Meaning, as, you know, humans, we're gonna come up with an explanation for something.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: If I've got a friend who maybe I've reached out to her and I'm waiting to hear back from her about something that's really important to me and she hasn't gotten back to me, and then another day goes by and another day goes by, and I still haven't heard back from her, my brain is gonna try to explain why that's happening.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so I can either go into a generous explanation of she's got a lot going on, or I can go into the explanation of maybe she doesn't care about me anymore.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think about it, like, okay, yeah, I want to hear back from my friend about this answer that's really important to me, that's disappointing.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: But what's far weightier is this belief I've now started to create in my head that this friend who means so much to me doesn't even care about me.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we do with God.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: We can start to think like, is God playing favorites?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Does he care about them and not me?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Is he good to them and not to me?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that incorrect view of his character is so much weightier, so much more hopeless than even being without the thing that we desire.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: We have to ensure that the explanation we come up with aligns with what we know to be true of his character in scripture.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because the thing is, our circumstances change, our feelings change, but the word of God does not change.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that is where we learn the things that are true about his character, that he is good, that he is faithful, that he has not forgotten us, that he has good plans.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so hard to hold on to those things when it feels like everything happening in our lives or everything not happening in our lives is evidence of the opposite.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: But we have to submit the experience of those things to the truth we see of what God's character is in his word.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that's gonna give us faith to hold on to, okay, who God is in the pages of scripture is still who he is today, and I don't see what he's doing.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: But so many of these characters didn't see what he was doing as well.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we fill our minds with those stories that ultimately point to his character, and that becomes the handhold that we hold on to when everything around us is uncertain.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I know for me as well, I need to ground myself in knowing in the worst of circumstances, I may not ever understand why here on earth, but I can trust that God in his sovereignty on that side of heaven will someday understand.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: And it's probably gonna be a pretty magnificent explanation as to why he allowed X, Y, or Z to happen or not to happen.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Casey, you mentioned as you were going through some of your hard times, that it can be really tempting to compare our paths to somebody else's path, you know, that they seem like they're receiving all the things that we're hoping for.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: How do we fight that kind of comparison?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I remember sharing one time a post about comparison on Instagram.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a friend of mine from church who, you know, at the time when I wrote this post, I was single and longing for marriage, longing to become a mom.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this friend was, I believe, married with two or three kids.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: And she messaged me and she was like, it was so crazy reading about the things that you compare yourself to, because I look at you and compare myself to you.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just such this reminder to me that we don't know anybody's path, right?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can look and feel like, okay, this person had the thing that we wanted, but maybe for them that was a different plan than what they had expected or what they had imagined for their life to go.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't want to miss what God has for us.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I had a dream one time in this waiting season that is I was out to dinner with friends and we had all ordered our food and all of my friends' food started to come and they were eating and I was looking around and I was kind of hoping the waiter would come by and be like, yours will be right out, but he didn't.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just sitting there being like, okay, where's my food?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: By the time my food gets here, are they all going to be done and I'm gonna be left to eat alone?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: And something that I realized in that dream is the reason that my food didn't come out at the same time as my friends is because I hadn't ordered the same thing that they had ordered.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like God really just used that to remind me that he has good plans for each of our lives that are unique and special to each of our lives.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't have the same things in mind for me that he has for you, that he has for the person listening to this.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is that sometimes they take differing amounts of time to prepare.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: He's doing different things in all of our lives.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: But when we covet after what God has given someone else and long for that, we end up missing the unique good thing, the good meal that he is preparing for us.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: The best way I would say to combat that is to just ask God for eyes to see all the good things that he is doing in your life right now.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that's so hard and so hard to hear when it feels like the one thing you want most, maybe the thing that feels like it's preventing you from really moving forward with your life, but I guarantee that there's beautiful good things that God is doing right now.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: This season isn't a waste.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't second best.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't, you know, the the prequel before your life really gets going, even if it feels like that.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then my other encouragement, too, would be to just celebrate the people around you who are getting the thing that you're praying for.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: I know how deeply painful that can feel, but just knowing that the friends that God's put in your life who love you, who are journeying with you, who are holding up your hands, they're also going to be so excited to celebrate with you when those prayers get answered or to celebrate with you right now in the unique things that God is doing in your life, even if they look different.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: I remember it was so meaningful to me the very first time that God put it on my heart to do a speaking event.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, well, this is really scary to me.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I told God that I would obey and say yes.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I did.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when the day of the speaking event came, in the front row were two of my best friends who were married and who were starting to think about having babies.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, that was what I was really longing for and desiring.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I hear God was bringing me into these new purposes that I hadn't even imagined.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: And those friends were in the front row.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: They were in completely different seasons, but they were there to support me.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love what you said about remembering God's faithfulness in the past because I know for me, I think back like I didn't have my first child until I was 30, and my third one, my last one at 35.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I do remember exactly what you describe, like sometimes those feelings of everybody's farther along than I am.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's so interesting to look back and see God's faithfulness on what he was doing differently and why he did things differently.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because at the time we don't understand, but later on, it's interesting to see how God wove that story into a picture we did not know he was making.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's cool to think too, even as you're saying, like feeling behind and seeing, you know, having your first child at 30, like looking at what you all are doing through Coffee and Bible Time, what Ashley and Taylor are doing in every human being on this earth, like there's an exact purpose or a time in history that God needed that child to be born.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think sometimes with the things we're waiting on, we see it as our story and like our timeline for our lives.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, oftentimes what God is doing through us or the thing that we're waiting for.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's a blessing to us, but it also has purposes much bigger than us.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: And God has an appointed time in history.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think of the women throughout scripture who longed for a child and it didn't happen when they wanted it to happen.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Elizabeth was, I think, what in her 80s or 90s when she had John the Baptist, but he needed to be born at a specific time to prepare the way for Jesus.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it makes me think of my own story too, of just like, you know, we have two children now, two toddlers, and our third is on the way.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And even though marriage and motherhood didn't happen for me on the timeline that it did, I look at our children and I'm just like, I know that God has such beautiful purposes on your life, again, like he does for each person listening to this.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: And you needed to be born at this exact moment in history because God only knows the things that he's gonna do through you.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one of the hardest questions in a season of waiting is do I keep praying for this or is God asking me to let it go?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: How do we discern whether a desire is something we're supposed to keep praying for, or whether God is actually asking us to surrender it?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's so tricky.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that's one of the hardest parts of waiting too, is because there's a vulnerability that comes along with continuing to pray, continuing to hope, because there's that fear that starts to creep in that says, well, but what if he doesn't have this for you?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: What if all this faith and all this prayer and all this trusting is for nothing?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And a realization that I came to is that in reality, if there's something, a desire that's on my heart that I really, really want, there's really only three things I can do with that.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: One, I can worry about it.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And biblically worrying is not an option that we're commanded to.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: We're commanded to not worry about anything, but in everything to present our quests to the Lord with Thanksgiving.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so that kind of eliminates the option of worry, not saying that we're never gonna be tempted with that, but that's not the option we want to encourage.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other two options would be to try to put it out of our minds, to try to numb ourselves to that desire.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that when you really want something, that's really not all that effective.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if we try to numb ourselves to the desire, we're eventually gonna end up numbing ourselves to God and all the good things he's doing as well.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so the third option of what we can do is pray about it.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: The fear obviously comes up of what if we keep praying for this thing and it's not even something that God has.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the beautiful thing about prayer is that as we're praying about something, God is going to change, whether that is us or our circumstances.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: He's going to either eventually bring us to a place where our hearts align with, okay, maybe this isn't the thing that he has for me.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't the path he has for me right now, or he's eventually going to change our circumstances, but prayer is never wasted.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: That was deepening your intimacy with the Lord.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: That was him working in your heart in such powerful ways that we miss if we simply just try to numb those things.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: And another really, really powerful realization for me was in Deuteronomy 29, verse 29, which says the secret things belong to the Lord, but the revealed things belong to us and to our children to do them forever.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: So often we want to know the details.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: We want answers.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: We want clarity.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: And what that verse is saying is that there are certain things that we aren't meant to know in this moment.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: We don't know what tomorrow holds.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: We don't know how his plans for our life are going to unfold.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: But it says the secret things belong to God, meaning that those things are in his care.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: He is working out the details, he has not forgotten, he is taking care of it.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: But what has been revealed is what belongs to us.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: And what's revealed to us is what's made known to us in his word.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: All the promises that are known to us in his word, his commandments for us to seek him, to love others, to share him with others, to become more like him.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps I don't know the details of his plan right now, perhaps because I'm not meant to know the details of his plan, but I can trust that he's got it, he's carrying it, he's holding those things.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: And my responsibility is to be faithful with what he has made clear to me, what he's called me to do today.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: And in time, as I keep walking that road, he's gonna make the rest of it clear as well.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's so great, Casey.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, as we start to kind of wrap things up here, I want to talk about trusting God when the answer never comes.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: If God never answers the particular prayer that you're waiting on, how do we get to a place where we can still honestly say, God, I trust you?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: That is such a hard question.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the most encouraging realization is that we're not going to get to that place on our own.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have to get to that place on our own, meaning as we wrestle with God through the pain, the disappointment, God is doing work in our heart and he's eventually going to help bring us to that place, and we're still choosing.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: To trust him, but we're not alone in it.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's with us in it.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: He is shaping our hearts in it.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the other biggest, most encouraging thing when it comes to this question is what you mentioned earlier in our conversation.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that is that this is not our forever home, that our ultimate hope isn't in this life.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean that this life doesn't matter and that our desires here don't matter.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately, there's something so much better, pun intended, I guess, coming.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that is heaven with Jesus, the day that we see him face to face and the day that we're fully restored to the right relationship with him.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that was most powerful for me in waiting is kind of what we were talking about before, this idea that God cares about our desires, but he also cares even more about who we're becoming while we wait.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if we view, you know, just whether or not he's answering the desire of our hearts as an indication of whether or not he loves us, well, then when we're without that thing, then we're gonna feel like he doesn't love us.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy for us to view the purpose of this life as our fulfillment.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Even as Christians, when we know that that's not the right answer, we think that the purpose of this life is for our comfort, for things to feel easy for us, for our desires to be fulfilled.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so when those things aren't happening, we feel like our life isn't fulfilled.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: But in reality, the goal of this life is to know God, to help other people know God and ultimately to grow into his image for that day that we see him, because that is our forever hope in our home.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I would just add to that that if you're feeling in that position right now, that you can also pray and ask God to give you more peace about the situation and that maybe this thing that you're so longing for that God maybe won't give it to you, but he will help prepare your heart to accept that.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking of just uh the example recently that I've had in my own life where I always hoped that, you know, my family would live close together, and but you know, not my way, but God's ways.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then Ashley moved to Iowa.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you know, we we got through that.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: And then the next thing I know, God wants them to move to Puerto Rico, and Johnny's accepting a calling there, and I just remember how my heart felt so broken about taking my grandson.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, but through time, God has shown me, has given me the perfect peace of knowing that they're exactly where they're supposed to be.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: And he has softened my heart to see that so that I don't feel that pain constantly of what I was longing for, hoping for that was taken away.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's so beautiful.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's such a truth to hold to, is for that person who is living with that waiting, that unanswered prayer, that the pain that comes with that, what you're feeling now is not what you were always gonna feel.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it is exactly what you're saying that either God is going to lead you into that thing, or he's gonna bring your heart to a place where there might still be that twinge.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, I'm sure that you still wish you could see Ashley more and Johnny and your grandson.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not to say that there won't be that twinge, but where you have this piece of seeing God's purpose in it.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that that's such a beautiful encouragement for the listener of you're not always gonna feel this tension of pain.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: God is gonna bring about a change one way or the other as you continue to trust him and seek him.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's so good.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Casey, one parting comment I want you to talk about.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: And that is just if someone's listening to this right now and is feeling heartbroken about the season they're in, what would you say would be the first step she would take?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I just want to say that I see you.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: God sees you most importantly.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And my biggest encouragement to you is to seek him in this because he is just gonna do things through that intimacy with him as you get to know his heart more that are truly so much better than anything that you could imagine.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: God stands outside of time and he has already written all your days, beginning to end.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing can thwart the good plans that he has for your life.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so continue to press into him, even in the pain, because in that it is creating these deep roots that are eventually going to bring about beautiful fruit in your life as well.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: And speaking about so much better, that is the title.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_02: Casey, where can listeners go to learn more about you and your new book?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so the book is available anywhere books are sold, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, you can go to my website, which is just caseynicole.com to learn more about it as well.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: And the book also does have a companion Bible study with it.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're a part of a small group or women's ministry and want to do a workbook kind of unpacking in it, we go through six of the key ways that God works through waiting seasons.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's got both a workbook and uh video curriculum as well.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you're a part of a small group, that is also a great option.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we will make sure we include those links in our show notes.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Before I let you go, have to do our rapid fire questions here.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: What is your go-to Bible and what translation is it?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: It is, I've got it here.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: My ESV single column journaling Bible.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think this one was from the Daily Grace Co.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I love it.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's an awesome one.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have any favorite Bible journaling supplies that you like to use?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: I love the Mr.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Penn Bible highlighters, all the cute little aesthetic colors.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: And my favorite way to use the Bible highlighters is when I'm writing notes in the margins of my Bible.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'll write the note and then kind of draw a little box around it and highlight that box in the same color that I'll then highlight the verse that the note is about.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because I start to fill up the sides with a bunch of notes to visually connect.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Here's what verse this note is about.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: Such a great idea.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: Lastly, what is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love the enduring word commentary app.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many great online tools, but that is probably the one that I use most.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, an awesome site.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Casey, thank you so much for being here and just sharing so honestly about what it looks like to trust God in seasons of waiting.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me and just thank you for your wisdom and your ministry.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: You all are just such a blessing and just continuing to pray for the work that God is doing through you guys.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Casey.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: And listener, if you're in a season of waiting right now, I hope you remember that God's silence doesn't mean he's absent and an unanswered prayer doesn't mean he's forgotten you.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: You can bring your disappointment, your questions, and even your weariness to him and keep trusting who he is, even when you don't understand what he's doing.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: And if this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to leave a review or comment and let us know what stood out to you.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: And if you know someone who's in a difficult season right now of waiting, I hope you'll share this episode with that person.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: I know it will encourage them as much as it has encouraged me.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you for listening.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you next time on the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: Have a blessed day.