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Freedom:Control Is a Counterfeit Peace · Fostering Faith

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Welcome back to Fostering Faith. We are in our
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week three of our series of freedom. And so let
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me tell you that this episode is not just for
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you, but it's also for me. Because today we're
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gonna be talking about the things that connects
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all of our podcasts kind of together that we've
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been talking about. And it's about control together
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that we've been talking about. And it's about
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control. the need to manage every outcome, the
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grip, the mental load of running every scenario
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before it happens, the exhaustion of being the
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one who holds it all together, your family, your
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schedule, your future, other people's choices,
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other people's feelings, and the quiet belief
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and burden underneath everything that if you
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would loosen your hand up for just one second,
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that it's all gonna fall apart. And can I be
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honest? that this episode while preparing for
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it and it really is just, I kind of needed this.
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And so I'm a doer, I'm a planner. I love the
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color coded calendars. I have a calendar on my
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phone. I make a calendar every two to three weeks
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on for the family. And some of you know exactly
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what I'm talking about. And there's nothing wrong
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with being organized and diligent. Scripture
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actually commands it. But there's a line, and
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most of us have crossed it without even noticing
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it. Where healthy stewardship becomes something
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else. Where planning becomes gripping. Where
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responsibility becomes like a low -grade, always
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-running attempt to be God in our own lives.
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And here's the why things belong in this series
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on freedom. The need to control feels like power,
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but it functions like a prison. And you don't
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and cannot be free and be the one holding everything
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up at the same time. Those two things cannot
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coexist. So today we're going to name it, trace
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it back to its roots and look hard at what scripture
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says about surrendering, including the single
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greatest act of surrender in human history. and
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to get kind of practical what it looks like to
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actually let go. So grab your book book and we
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have those on the Fostering Faith website. So
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make sure that we can follow along with those
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and let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you
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so much for allowing us to just come together
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today. Thank you for these listeners. Thank you
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that I am just using scripture just to just refresh
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the tired person that's listening to this. Not
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tired from doing little, but from tired from
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caring. what was never theirs to carry. You see
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their hands, you see they're clenched for years.
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I'm asking you and the Holy Spirit to gently
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just pray them and pry their hands open today.
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I'm asking you and the Holy Spirit, in Jesus'
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name I pray. Amen. And so let's get into it.
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And so the first thing that we have to establish
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is I want to say it plainly. The control you
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think you have is mostly an illusion. And it's
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not me being dramatic. That is what the Bible
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claims. And honestly, it's an observable one.
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Think about the last year of your life, how much
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of what actually happened, the good, the hard,
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did you plan? The phone call that you didn't
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see coming, the opportunity that showed up out
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of nowhere, the thing you prayed against and
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it happened anyway, and the thing that you feared
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that never did. We spend an enormous amount of
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energy trying to steer our life that is repeatedly
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proven. It is not Searable James addressed this
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head -on and he does it not softly and so James
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for their 13 through 15. It says now listen You
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who say, today or tomorrow we will go to the
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city, spend a year there, carry on business and
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make money. Why would you even know what will
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be happening tomorrow? What is your life? You
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are a mist until that appears for a little while
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and vanishes instead. You ought to say, if the
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Lord's will, we will live there or do this or
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do that. Notice, James is not rebuking planning.
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The people he's describing are doing reasonable
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things, business, travel, a year -long strategy.
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What he confronts is the posture, the planning,
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as though tomorrow is guaranteed and the outcomes
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are at our command. His correction is one small
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phrase, if it is the Lord's will. That phrase
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is not fatalism, it's realism. And it is the
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daily verbal acknowledge that God holds what
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we do not. The word James used there is for mist
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is a vapor, a steam, a fog that often burns off
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in the mid morning. That's the picture. Not because
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life doesn't matter. It matters enormously. But
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because your control is over it, it's that thin.
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And so here's what I want you to see. Control
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is not really about the outcomes. Control is
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a counterfeit piece. It's a thing that we reach
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for whenever we don't feel the vulnerability
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of not knowing. When I have a plan, every contingency,
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I get to feel safe. When I manage everyone around
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me, I feel secure. And control promises the same
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thing that God promises. You'll be okay. But
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it demands that I be the one who makes it true.
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And that's why control and anxiety are so tightly
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braided together. Remember, whenever we talked
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about the anxiety and the fear untethered, spinning
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scenarios with the future that you cannot see.
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Control is what anxiety does with its hands.
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Anxiety says something might go wrong. Control
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says, then I'll manage everything so it can't.
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And one of the feelings and the other coping
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mechanisms, neither one delivers. And so Proverbs
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16, 9 says, puts the reality into one sentence,
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in their hearts, humans plan their course, but
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the Lord establishes their steps. And Proverbs
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19, 21 says it again, even more directly, many
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are the plans of a person's heart, but it is
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the Lord's purpose that will prevail. Say what
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those words, prevail. not competes, not negotiates,
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prevails. God's purpose is not one opinion on
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a table alongside a five -year plan. It is a
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thing that will stand when everything else shifts,
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and a friend that is either terrifying news or
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the best news that you've ever heard, depending
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on the entirety of what you actually believe
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his character. If God is distant, careless or
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stingy, then his purpose prevailing is a threat.
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And gripping tighter makes sense. But if God
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is good, attentive, and for you, then his purpose
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prevailing is safety, things that could possibly
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be the true about your life. And letting go is
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not just a cross security. It's not law security.
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It is a transferring of it from his hands, from
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your hands to his hands. From hands that shake
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to hands that don't. And so where does control
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show up in your life? Be specific and honest.
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Is it over planning? Is it micromanaging people
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that you love? Refusing to delegate? Rehearsing
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conversations before they even happen? Meaning
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to know the outcome before you say anything?
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Name that specific version of your grip. you
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can't surrender what we can't, the name. And
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I, going back up there where it said, if God,
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that distant, if God is distant, careless and
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stingy, and I was doing my run today and I posted
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a reel on it and it was about, I was running
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and I was a couple miles from the house and I
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had turned around and in the distance there was
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this thing and I was like, I couldn't really
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see what it was and it was against some woods
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and I was like, oh my gosh, is that a person?
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And so I kept on running and just kind of looking
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at it. I was kind of scared, but kind of not.
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And then I noticed it and it was just like, the
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Holy Spirit was just like, man, that's how some
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people can view God. Off in the distance, we
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don't know what it is. It's kind of scary. Is
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it meant to harm me? What is it? And then I got
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onto the thing and it was like, beware of flood
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sign. And so again, it's just once we get close
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to Him, once we know Him, we really see, hey,
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this is a sign. This is, hey, I want your attention.
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I'm trying to protect you. I'm here. I'm putting
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out warning signs. I'm right here. And so I think
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that as we walk in scripture, as we walk through
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the Bible, as we become intimate with God, we
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understand that He is here for us and not against
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us. He's not this distant off God. He's a relational
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God. And so I think that's so important for us
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to understand. And the root of why we grab what
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isn't ours. And so let's trace it to the roots
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because the need of control is not a personality
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cork. It's a spiritual condition with a history
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and the history goes all the way back to the
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garden. Think about what actually happened in
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Genesis 3. The serpent's temptation to Eve was
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not do something evil. It was subtler, more familiar
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than that. Would you like? Will you be like God?
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knowing good and evil in Genesis 3 -5, the offer
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was self -rule. The offer was, you don't have
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to trust his word about what's good. You can
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hold that knowledge yourself. You can run this.
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And humanity reached out and grabbed it. And
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the grab is all in all of us. Every act of control
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is a small echo of Eden, a moment where trusting
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God's management of my life feels a little too
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risky. So I'll take the fruit. I'll take the
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wheel and I'll take it over. But I want to show
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you what taking over actually produces. And for
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what I to look at the story and what I think
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is one of the most honest portrayals of control
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in scripture. Sarah in Genesis 16. So here's
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the setup. The quick note is at this point in
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the story, she's still was called Sarah I and
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Abram before God renames him. But I'll say Sarah
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and Abram so we don't get tangled in that mess.
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And so God made Abraham a staggering promise,
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descendants like the stars, the son from his
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own body. But years pass, then more years. And
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Sarah is aging past any natural possibility of
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having kids. And the promise is just sitting
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there, unfilled and silent. And Genesis 16 records
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that she does what she does with the silence.
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And so she takes her Egyptian servant, Hagar,
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gives her to Abraham so that a child might come
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through her instead. And listen, for her reasoning
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in verse two, the Lord has kept me from having
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children. Go sleep with my slave. Perhaps I can
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build a family through her. Perhaps I can build.
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Underline those words in your mind Sarah is not
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abandoning God's promise. She believes it But
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she but she's abandoning the God's timing and
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God's method her logic is one control organizing
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Instantly God is clearly not moving fast enough.
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So I'll help him. I'll build It myself. I'll
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make it happen through my own arrangements through
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my own management through my own plan B and it
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works In the narrowest sense, a child was born.
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The plan succeeds and produced contempt between
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two women, anguishing for Hagar, division of
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the household, and pain that echoes for generations.
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Control got Sarah an outcome. It could not get
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her the promise, because the promise was never
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hers to manufacture. 13 chapters and 25 years
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of her waiting later, God fulfills his word exactly
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the way that he said he would. Through Sarah,
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at an appointed time, she names the boy Isaac,
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which is laughter. And here's the diagnosis underneath
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the story, and I want you to hear it gently but
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clearly. At the root of control is a quiet accusation
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against God. He's too slow, that he's forgotten,
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that he needs help, that his plan for your life
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cannot be trusted without your supervision, our
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supervision. And we would never say those words
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in prayer, but we clench our hands and say them
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every day. And Isaiah 55, eight through nine
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is God's own answer to this accusation. For my
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thoughts are not your thoughts. neither are your
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ways my ways declares the lord as the heavens
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are higher than the earth so are my ways higher
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than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts
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this verse is not god being like insensitive
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it's god being honest about scale you're looking
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at your life through a keyhole and he's the whole
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landscape every year you haven't lived yet every
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connection that you've not perceived yet, every
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thing that you're gripping fits into the story
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larger than you. And then his way doesn't match
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yours. The grip is not evident of his neglect.
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It is evidence of his altitude. And so I often
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say, we're here on Google Maps and just looking
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down the road and we're lost. And we're like,
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we're in the middle of a cornfield. And he was
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like, actually, I'm up here. I'm on the satellite
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version. I see exactly where you are. I know
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exactly where you're going. I have all the things
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planned out. You don't need to know. And so oftentimes
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we're just like, okay, just keep walking, keeps
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to keep walking. And so finish this sentence.
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If I fully let go and trust God with blank, I'm
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afraid that blank will happen. Whenever, whatever
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lands in those blanks, That's your accusation
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of control and being and has been Making against
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God's character don't rush the past Don't rush
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past that Write it down and go back and look
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if I fully let go and trust God with my life
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my finances my relationships my office my job
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whatever I'm afraid that I'm gonna fail That
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I'm gonna I don't I'm not gonna have enough money.
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I'm not gonna be able to support I'm not gonna
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be able to do whatever lands in those blanks
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Is the accusation your control has been making
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against god's character? And so just write it
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down and let's walk through this and let's sit
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with god sitting with the holy spirit and getting
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Correction and having that your heart posture
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changed. It's about transformation And we have
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proverbs 3 5 through 6 And it's about the anatomy
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of trust. And so let's build an alternative.
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If control is a counterfeit trust, is the real
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thing, what's the real thing? And I want to take
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it slowly through these passages that lays out
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the anatomy better than anything else in scripture.
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And so it says, trust in the Lord with all your
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heart and not lean into your own understanding
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and always submit to him and he will make your
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past straight. And you're... Probably heard this
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verse your entire Christian life. It's on copy
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mugs It's on your graduation card and the familiarity
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is exactly why we need to slow down because those
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four movements in those two verses and each one
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dismantles a piece of control move one trust
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in the Lord with all your heart and so the Hebrew
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word there for trust it doesn't Primarily mean
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intellectual agreement It carries the sense of
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leaning your full weight on something, lying
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down on it, feeling secure because of it. This
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is the trust of that person who actually puts
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their weight on the rope and not the person standing
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on the edge saying, I believe the rope is strong.
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And notice the scope. All your heart with all
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your heart, not the easy 60 percent, not the
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areas where we have backup plans. The Hebrew
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concept here apart. is the whole inner person,
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mind, will, emotions, decisions. Partial trust
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is just control with the religious vocabulary.
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God is asking for your full weight. So many times
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in office, I have people like, I need the whole
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weight of your leg. I need the whole weight of
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your head. And it's just, no, that's not how
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heavy your head is. That's not how heavy your,
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I need to have all of it in my hand. And it's
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just so hard for people. just to relax enough
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just to give me the full weight of an arm or
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a leg or their head or whatever and it's just
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it's that's how we do in everyday life movement
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two lean not on your own understanding and so
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here's the same picture flipped the word here
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for lean means to support yourself on something
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the way that you'd brace against a wall or rest
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on a staff on a like on a cane or a crutch and
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the instruction is do not make your own understanding
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the thing holding you up notice that the verse
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does not say it does not say don't have understanding
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it doesn't say thinking of unspiritual the entire
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book of proverbs is a monumental book of wisdom
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and diligence it says do not lean on it Use your
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mind fully and just don't make it a load -bearing
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wall, because your understanding, sharp as it
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may be, is working with a fraction of the information.
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Sarah's understanding said, I'm too old, so this
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must be the way. Her understanding was reasonable.
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But it was wrong and how many times have we had
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this reasonable thing and they're like, oh, that's
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a great idea. It must be the Holy Spirit because
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we're tired of waiting. And then we just act
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on it and it was wrong. And then movement three,
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in all of our ways, submit to him. And the Hebrew
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word here, literally know him. The word is a
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deep personal relationship a relational knowledge
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in all your ways your schedule your parenting
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your money your ministry your plans Know him
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there bring him in acknowledge him Not as a console
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for a brief afterthought but as the Lord who
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is present in the decisions itself This is where
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we surrender stopping stop stops being an abstract
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all your ways means the actual Tuesday afternoon
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decisions, not just the crisis moments when control
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has already failed and the prayer is the last
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resort, but in every decision, in every way.
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And then movement four, and he will make your
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path straight. And so this is the promise and
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this it's the answer of the controller's deepest
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fear. The fear says, if you let go everything,
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goes crooked. God says, I straighten the paths
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of those who trust me. The word picture is a
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road being cleared and leveled. Not a life without
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difficulty. Life will have direction. He does
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not promise you'll see the whole road. He promises
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the road will be His and that it leads where
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He intends. Do you see the exchange being offered
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there? Proverbs 3 is asking you to give up something
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small and fragile, your ability to figure it
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all out, in exchange for something vast and unbreakable,
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the guidance of God who sees everything. It's
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not a loss of control. It is the only version
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of security that actually exists. And so take
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one active decision you're going to carry out
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right now. Something unresolved something that
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you've been trying to figure out and walk through
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it with those four movements write it out What
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would it be like to put my full weight on god
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here? Where is where am I leaning on my own understanding?
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What would it mean to genuinely invite him into
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this? And believe that he will make my path straight
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And so the greatest surrender ever prayed Now
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I want to take you to the garden again not to
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Eden Where control was grasp but Kissimmee Where
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was all laid down? It was the night before the
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cross Jesus knows exactly what is coming and
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he predicted it in detail and Luke the physician
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records the scene in a clinical honesty Jesus
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is such in such anguish that he literally is
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sweating drops of blood. And this is not a sincere
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detached moment. The Son of God has full weight
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of dread. And in this moment, he prays a prayer
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that I believe is a model for every act of surrender
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you and I will ever make. Father, If you are
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willing, take this cup from me, and yet not my
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will, but your will be done." In Luke 22, 42.
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I want to break this prayer into two halves because
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most of us know how to pray one of them. The
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first half, Father, if you are willing, take
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this cup from me. This is honesty. Jesus didn't
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pretend to want the cross. He doesn't perform
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acceptance. He doesn't feel he asked directly
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and urgently for another way and this matters
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enormously for me and you because somewhere along
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the line many of us have a board observed The
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idea that surrender means surpassing what we
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actually want Suppressing what we actually want
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this the spiritual thing is to act like we don't
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care about the outcome and Gethsemane says otherwise
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you are allowed to want things You are allowed
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to tell God plainly with tears what you want
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from him Bring the desire bring the dread surrender
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that skips honesty isn't Surrender that skips
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honesty isn't surrender It's suppression wearing
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a church outfit. The second half. Let your will,
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yet not my will, but yours be done. And then,
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with the desire still on the table, still real,
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still felt, Jesus hands over the outcome, yet.
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The one word is the hinge of the whole prayer.
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It doesn't erase the request. It... subordinate
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to it I want this yet you decide and that is
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what surrender actually is not the absence of
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desire the submission of desire not I don't care
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what happens rather I care deeply and I trust
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you more than I trust my caring and look at what
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Jesus surrendered was resting on he didn't hand
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over his will to fate or to chance or to a gritty
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teeth resignation, he handed it over to the Father.
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The address at the front of the prayer is a foundation
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underneath of it. Surrender is only safe because
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the one who is catching what you're dropping.
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And here's what I need you to see. Everything
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that you have as a believer came through that
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prayer. Your forgiveness, your identity, your
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freedom. Your eternity all exists because Jesus,
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in that moment of dread, chose the Father's will
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over His own. Surrender is not weak. It is the
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wing of Christian faith. Surrender is the engine
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of redemption itself. And Jesus explicitly invites
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us to the same pattern in Matthew 16, 24 through
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25. Whoever wants me whoever wants to be my disciple
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must deny themselves and take up their cross
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and follow me For whoever wants to save their
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life will lose it and whoever loses their life
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for me will find it And look at that paradox
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in verse 25 because it is the exact inverse of
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the controller's math. Control says, grip your
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life tightly and you will keep it. Jesus says,
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grip your own life tightly and you will lose
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it. The very act of clenching crushes things,
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but releasing it? But release it into my hands
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and you will find it. In the Greek word there
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for life, It means soul, self, your whole self.
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The self you've been trying to secure through
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management is found, actually found on the other
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side of release. Every one of us has a cup that
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we've asked God to take, a circumstance that
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we're trying to manage out of our own, a person
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that we're trying to fix, a future we're trying
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to guarantee. Gethsemane hands you the words
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for it. Full honesty about what you want. Yet
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your yet not my will but your will and My dad
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was recently in the hospital and it was he was
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gonna have to have surgery potentially and He
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was just like I might die and he was like I'm
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ready. I'm gonna go see Jesus So either I have
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surgery I get fixed or Whatever has we done and
26:53
so we have to be okay with that and so we were
26:56
literally sitting there I would go down to the
26:57
hospital and the evening after getting off work
26:59
and we were just prayed Hey, this is your will
27:02
we know that your planner is better than ours
27:04
You're gonna put everybody that needs to be in
27:07
his room with him every physician every nurse
27:10
and that way either he makes it out of here or
27:12
he makes it to heaven one of the two is gonna
27:14
happen and It really was whenever you see someone
27:17
literally fighting for their life and they're
27:20
okay with it That's the trust in God because
27:23
His ways are greater than our ways. He knew exactly
27:25
what was going to happen. He knew that He was
27:26
going to be in the hospital. He knew all of this
27:28
had been played out and He had a plan. Was it
27:31
our plan? No, it was not. It was not our plan.
27:34
Nothing. No. And it was just a great thing to
27:39
just to walk through God with that. And so write
27:41
down your own Gethsemane prayer this week. The
27:44
two parts are both required. Part one, total
27:47
honesty. Father, this is what I want. Take this
27:50
cup. And name it specifically. Hand it over.
27:56
Yet not my will, but your will be done. And don't
28:00
write part two until part one is fully honest.
28:04
And then pray it out loud. There is something
28:06
about saying it out loud that makes it real.
28:10
and what surrender is and what it isn't. Now,
28:14
let's clear up some confusion because I think
28:16
one of the biggest reasons believers resist surrender
28:19
is that we've misdefined it. Surrender is not
28:23
passivity. Letting go of control does not mean
28:30
letting go of responsibility. Noah trusted God
28:33
and built an ark for decades. Nehemiah prayed
28:36
to God for heaven and posted a guard. Paul trusted
28:40
the sovereignty of God with his whole theology
28:44
and worked harder than anyone. The biblical pattern
28:46
is never do nothing and call it faith. It is
28:50
do faithfully what is yours to do and release
28:53
what was never yours. Outcomes, timelines, other
28:58
people's hearts, the future, your responsibility
29:01
for obedience. You are not responsible for results.
29:06
Learning to tell those two apart might be the
29:09
one most freeing skills in your entire Christian
29:13
walk. Surrender is not weakness. Our culture
29:16
reads letting go as losing it. But now listen
29:21
to what Peter frames how he frames it in 1st
29:24
Peter 5, 6, and 7. Humble yourselves therefore
29:27
under God's mighty hand and he might lift up
29:31
In due time cast all your anxiety to him because
29:35
he cares for you And we spent some time Back
29:40
in verse seven on week one and throwing words
29:43
casting your anxiety into one who cares But look
29:46
at what comes immediately before it because peter
29:50
connects them With one breath humble yourselves
29:53
under god's mighty hand surrender in peter's
29:56
grammar is what humility does it is honest Acknowledgement
30:01
of what has been true all along His hand is mighty
30:06
and mine is not the notice and notice the promise
30:09
that is attached to it. He may lift You up in
30:14
due time the way Up is under the exaltation Belongs
30:21
to God and so does the timing in due time his
30:25
time that is exactly the part Sarah didn't wait
30:28
for the exact Exactly the part surrendering and
30:31
trusting to him. The surrender is not a one -time
30:34
event It is a posture that you return to daily
30:37
sometimes hourly Well your hand Something are
30:42
you handing something to God in the morning and
30:45
then you find it back in your hands at lunch
30:47
It's not a failure. It's a practice and you just
30:50
have to hand it back again and in our in our
30:53
church one of my one of my favorite sermons and
30:56
I do it all the time is I talked to people about
30:59
it, and our pastor was up on stage, and he was
31:02
talking about, yeah, we hand all of our problems
31:05
over to God, we wad them up and just take them,
31:07
and then we go back and pick them back up, because
31:09
he didn't do it on our time, he didn't do it
31:10
on our way, and so we didn't surrender anything.
31:14
And so now, what does surrender actually look
31:18
like? And I want to give you two pictures from
31:21
Psalms. And so the first Psalms is 46 .10, be
31:23
still and know that I am God. I am exalted among
31:27
nations and I will be exalted in earth. We quote,
31:31
be still, like it means, find some quiet time.
31:35
The Hebrew word is far stronger. It means to
31:39
let, drop, to sink down, to release the grip.
31:44
Some translations render it seizing, striving.
31:48
This is a command that is addressed to people
31:50
mid -chaos. The Psalm has just described nations
31:55
in an uproar, the mountains falling into the
31:57
sea, and into that God says, drop it, unclench
32:01
it, stop striving, and know that I am God. The
32:04
stillness is not in the absence of the noise.
32:06
It is the absence of grasping and Knowing comes
32:10
after dropping and here's the things about god
32:13
that we cannot control We cannot learn while
32:16
our hands are full The second picture is psalm
32:18
131 and it might be the most beautiful image
32:21
of a surrendered soul in the whole book My heart
32:25
is not proud Lord. My eyes are not haughty I
32:28
do not concern myself with great matters or things
32:31
too wonderful for me, but I am calm and quieted
32:34
myself I am like a weaned child with his mother
32:38
like a weaned child. I am content King David
32:42
a warrior a man with real power described himself
32:46
as a weaned child not a nursing infant Frantic
32:50
and demanding his mother's chest, but a weaned
32:53
child, old enough to know its mother isn't a
32:56
means of end, resting against her simply because
33:00
she is her. Content is the presence, not calling
33:04
for provision. And notice, I have calmed and
33:09
quieted myself. That's a choice. That's discipline.
33:14
David looked at the greater matters, the two
33:17
things, wonderful, too big. yet beyond his reach
33:20
and deliberately sat down and leaned back. And
33:24
that is what mature trust looks like, not a frantic
33:29
gripping at someone who must answer, but settling
33:33
weight of someone who is the father. And so take
33:38
some time and two columns in your workbook. And
33:42
so column one, mind to do, obedience, the diligence.
33:47
the actual responsibilities God has put in our
33:50
hands? Column two, mind to release. The outcomes,
33:55
timelines, the other people's choices that you've
33:58
been carrying as they were on assignment, sort
34:03
honestly. Most of us are exhausted not because
34:07
the column one is too full, but because we've
34:10
been carrying column two. And so what are some
34:12
practical ways to loosen our grip daily? And
34:16
you know me, I need to know what to do with what
34:19
I know. So I think that these are practical,
34:22
four practices that we can do of walking out
34:26
of control. One, open hand prayer. And this is
34:33
a physical one on purpose because control lives
34:37
our body, a tight chest, a clenched jaw, shoulders
34:41
up around our ears every morning this week. Sit
34:44
with your hands. Close into a fist and name What's
34:48
in them the situation the person the outcome
34:51
that you're trying to manage? Then one at a time
34:54
physically open your hands as a prayer and say
34:57
father This is yours not my will but your will
35:01
be done and Sit there for a minute with your
35:04
palms open. It sounds simple. It is simple But
35:08
you are preaching your own way into your nervous
35:12
system with a posture that is something about
35:15
your body obeying that helps the heart follow.
35:20
And whenever you catch yourself gripping against
35:22
mid -afternoon, and you will, you don't need
35:27
to do a full ritual and just open your hands
35:30
wherever you are and pray it again. Just one
35:32
sentence, take it. Two, add the phrase, James
35:36
5, 15, give us the words. If it is the Lord's
35:41
will, we will live and do this or that. So plan.
35:46
Make a list. Keep a calendar. And then get it
35:49
in the habit of adding the phrase, actually saying,
35:53
if the Lord wills. Over your plans this week,
35:56
over the goal of this year, over the dream that
35:58
you've been architecting. This is not superstition.
36:03
This is not pessimism. It is a verbal habit that
36:09
refiles every plan from guaranteed to entrusted
36:14
and watch what it does over time. Plans held
36:17
with the phrase are plans that change without
36:20
breaking you because the phrase kept telling
36:23
the truth about who's actually in charge. Number
36:29
three, a weekly control fast. And I like some
36:34
fasts. But what about a control fast? Choose
36:37
one block of time each week in the evening, half
36:40
a day, a full Sabbath, if you can, where you
36:43
deliberately do not manage. No planning ahead,
36:46
no optimizing, no checking, no fixing. You rest.
36:50
You worship. And you enjoy what's in front of
36:53
you. And you let the world demonstrate that it
36:57
can continue to run without your supervision.
37:00
And some of you are just like, I don't think
37:04
so. This is honestly part of what the Sabbath
37:07
has always been. God commanded Israel to stop
37:10
one day in seven. He was building a weekly structural
37:14
reminder into our lives the world is held by
37:19
God and not your labor. Every week the manna
37:22
still fell, the sun still rose, and no one's
37:25
striving was the reason. The control fast is
37:30
uncomfortable at first. And then discomfort is
37:34
diagnostic. It tells you exactly how much your
37:37
sense of safety has been resting in your own
37:40
activity. And you know me, keep a surrender record.
37:46
In your workbook or in a journal, keep a running
37:49
list of what you specifically handed to God,
37:52
the thing, the date, and leave some room next
37:55
to your entry because over the weeks, the months,
37:58
the years, you're going to write down what He
38:00
did with it. And here's why it matters. Control
38:03
feeds on forgetfulness. And whenever we forget
38:07
God's track record, our hand starts closing again.
38:11
By a written record, it becomes a personal, isaac
38:14
list and accumulating evidence that the things
38:18
that you've released were not dropped, but they
38:20
were caught. And the next act of surrender gets
38:23
easier when you can look back at the last ten.
38:27
And so pick two of these four practices. Not
38:31
all four, just two, and commit to one of them
38:34
for the next seven days. Write down each one
38:37
when it comes, and at the end of the week, journal
38:40
one paragraph. What was the hardest? What surprised
38:44
you? And where do you feel the grip loosen? And
38:48
was it little or was it big? And what have you
38:51
gotten already taken over? Grace for recovering
38:56
controllers. And before we close, I want to talk
38:59
to one person because I know someone listening
39:03
right now is thinking, this is great Tracy, but
39:05
it's too late. I've already did the Sarah thing.
39:07
I already took control. I forced the door. I
39:10
manufactured the outcome. And now I'm living
39:12
in a mess of my control belt. Friend, listener,
39:17
I want you to take back, to go back to Genesis
39:21
16 one more time, because the part of the story
39:23
we skipped is the part that we need the most.
39:25
After Sarah's plan works, quote unquote, the
39:30
house hold fractures, haggard, pregnant, mistreated,
39:34
caught in the crossfire from someone else's plan
39:37
ruins. everything. She has to do damage control
39:44
to Sarah's plan. She has no promise, no covenant,
39:47
no standing. And there it is. In the wilderness
39:50
created by another person grasping, the angel
39:53
of the Lord finds her, calls her by name, and
39:56
makes her a promise about her son. And Hargar
39:59
gives God a name. The only person in all of scripture
40:03
to do this. Elroy. You are the God who sees me
40:10
in Genesis 16, 13. Do you see what that means
40:15
for you? God is not absent from the mess. He
40:18
is not standing back with his arms crossed waiting
40:20
for the consequences to finish teaching you a
40:23
lesson. He went into the wilderness that the
40:26
human control created and he saw, he named, he
40:29
provided. The God who sees the present in the
40:32
fallout working even there. And here's the other
40:35
half. Sarah's failure did not cancel Sarah's
40:38
promise. 25 years after God spoke, Isaac was
40:41
stillborn. Hebrews 11, 11, even lists Sarah in
40:45
the Hall of Fame of Faith, the same woman who
40:47
laughed at God's timeline and engineered her
40:50
own. Her control caused real damage, and God
40:54
addressed it honestly, but it did not disqualify
40:57
her. His purpose prevailed through her, despite
41:01
her, and finally, beautifully, with her. So if
41:05
you are living right now inside the consequences
41:08
of your own taking over, a decision you forced,
41:13
a door you pried open, a plan that you built
41:15
that God never blessed, hear me on these two
41:19
things first. Stop. Stop trying to control your
41:23
way out of what control got you into. It's a
41:26
trap. The same instinct that built the mess that
41:29
you're That you will offer to manage and clean
41:32
up it will make the promise It made the first
41:35
time the way out is not a better plan The way
41:38
out is surrendered posture that we've been talking
41:41
about this whole episode Honest confession open
41:43
your hands and trust God with a situation that
41:46
you can't unmake second Bring the whole thing
41:50
to him the failure included Romans 828 does not
41:54
say God works all things except the messes that
41:57
you've made yourself He says all things. Your
42:01
worst act of control. Your wall material in the
42:04
hands of a redeemer. He does not erase the story.
42:08
He does something better. He weaves it. Ask Hagar.
42:13
Ask Sarah. Ask anyone who has watched God grow
42:16
something holy in the soil that they were sure
42:20
have ruined on their own. The enemy wants you
42:23
magnifying your guilt the same way that you're
42:25
managing your life privately, tightly, in your
42:28
own strength. But God's invitation is the same
42:30
one it has always been. Let it go. Open your
42:35
hands one more time. He sees you and he's not
42:39
finished. If there is a Sarah decision in your
42:44
past, a place where you took instead of trusting
42:47
what you're still carrying shame and consequences
42:50
from, Write it down. Then write the words over
42:53
it. Elroy, the God who sees me was there. He
42:58
is not finished. Bring it to him honestly this
43:01
week and refuse to let the enemy make it your
43:05
manager. And so Psalm 37, five, as we close this
43:10
out, it says, commit your way to the Lord, trust
43:13
in him and he will do this and he will make righteous
43:16
reward shine like the dawn and your vindication
43:19
like a No main day son and so commit your way
43:25
the Hebrew picture behind commit is literally
43:27
rolled to roll your own Way into the Lord the
43:31
way that you rolled a boulder off of your own
43:34
back or onto your shoulders To build it up and
43:36
carry it. This is an invitation for the entire
43:39
episode is stop carrying it Stop working stop
43:41
trying to do it on your own and here's a promise
43:45
you roll it into is the verse that holds on this
43:48
whole conversation is Roman 828 and we know that
43:51
all things that God works for the good of the
43:53
purpose who love him and those have been called
43:56
according to his purpose in all things not just
43:58
the things that we want according to our plan
44:00
the detours the delays the doors that open and
44:03
close the things that you never have been chosen
44:06
that you could never have managed. God is working
44:09
in all of it for the good for those who love
44:12
Him, weaving with a scope that we cannot see,
44:14
a timeline that you didn't set, and towards a
44:17
purpose that prevails. That is why you can let
44:22
go. Not because outcomes don't matter, but because
44:25
the outcomes were never in your hands to begin
44:28
with. They were always his. The only question
44:30
is whether you'd be exhausted and pretending
44:33
to do it yourself. So here's what I want you
44:35
to carry out of this episode. The grip was never
44:38
keeping you safe. It was only keeping you tied.
44:41
Freedom from control is not the loss of security.
44:43
It is the discovery of a real security. And the
44:47
kind that doesn't depend on your vigilance, your
44:50
backup plans, your ability to hold it all together.
44:53
The rest of the mighty hand of the father who
44:56
never once dropped anything he promised to hold.
45:00
Trust him with all your heart. Lean your full
45:02
weight. He can carry you and open your hands
45:05
and he will make your plan straight. And so this
45:08
episode, if it helps you today, share it with
45:10
somebody who's caring too much. You know exactly
45:13
who came in mind just now. Send it to them. And
45:16
if you're working, if you're working through
45:19
it yourself, stand up. Say, God, I cannot control
45:23
this anymore. I'm done. I'm gonna let go. And
45:27
so we hope that this message encouraged you.
45:29
Subscribe, leave a comment. I know that these
45:31
last couple episodes have been a little bit longer,
45:34
but just as I learn, as I dive deeper into Scripture,
45:36
I just think I need to do a little bit more diving
45:39
into these lessons. And so... If you like these
45:42
longer contents instead of the short ones, let
45:44
us know and we can continue with longer conversations.
45:47
And July, again, will be our last one. We are
45:49
going to skip August and we will see you guys
45:51
back in September. We love you guys. Have a great
45:53
week.