Latest / Mathis Family Talks / Family Money: Helping or Holding Back? | Ep. 4

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Family Money: Helping or Holding Back? | Ep. 4 · Mathis Family Talks

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Speaker 1: And don't y'all asked me for a thousand dollars and
0:03
Speaker 1: thinking that you're gonna get five.
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Speaker 2: Hundred, so I need two thousand.
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Speaker 3: So I'm gonna ask you for both thousands. Yes, I'm
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Speaker 3: ask you for our four thousand. I'll get my two thousand.
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Speaker 3: You didn't give you away.
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Speaker 4: Your tactics on this podcast, everybody knows now to look
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Speaker 4: forward with you.
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Speaker 5: I'm Judge Greg Matthews. I am Linda Mathis. Welcome to
0:27
Speaker 5: Matthew's Family talks.
0:35
Speaker 6: Family money, help or enabling. You know, y'all used to
0:40
Speaker 6: help us with family money, but it also enabled us family.
0:47
Speaker 1: Well, enable you to go to school and get a
0:49
Speaker 1: profession that you can make money with.
0:52
Speaker 6: I will say I was a little bit more lazier.
0:56
Speaker 2: Because you had a safety net. I had to say, oh,
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Speaker 2: that's it. So that's interesting.
1:01
Speaker 5: Yeah, And so I mean that's natural human behavior.
1:03
Speaker 2: Well I did.
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Speaker 5: I don't agree with that.
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Speaker 2: I just wanted more money.
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Speaker 5: I don't agree with.
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Speaker 6: No, no, no, I'm sorry. It wasn't laziness because I was
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Speaker 6: never lazy. But I would say that when the money
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Speaker 6: stops flowing and there's no safety net, you got to
1:19
Speaker 6: figure that out.
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Speaker 2: So you get more into what you should be doing
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Speaker 2: to make money.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, let's just say this, from what I was making,
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Speaker 6: then I make more, Like were you always giving me?
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Speaker 6: I easily made that back in my own money because
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Speaker 6: it made me put put the pressure on me. I
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Speaker 6: didn't want to make less money. So why did y'all
1:36
Speaker 6: Why did y'all stop?
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Speaker 3: Why did we stop enabling to not use all of
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Speaker 3: your what is it all? Talent? Yes?
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Speaker 5: And you were just getting.
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Speaker 3: Back and depending on someone to give you money as
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Speaker 3: your parents.
1:55
Speaker 1: And I don't share that opinion about a mirror quite frankly.
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Speaker 1: What I do believe Eve, and I think we all
2:02
Speaker 1: I'm my attention deficit hyperactivity always moving a mirror's attention
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Speaker 1: deficit laid back two very opposite things. And when he
2:11
Speaker 1: learned how to manage it is when he became more
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Speaker 1: active and ambitious and did more. And so that's my
2:21
Speaker 1: observation of him.
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Speaker 6: Now with huh do we sign a hippocontract?
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Speaker 5: Whatever? Real? Well, now I'll just tell you what I have.
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Speaker 5: What do you have? If I don't have to have anything,
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Speaker 5: my goodness?
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Speaker 1: So my point is, I think all you guys worked
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Speaker 1: for everything you got, and I think otherwise, we wanted
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Speaker 1: to make sure y'all lived the lifestyle that we could afford.
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Speaker 5: In other words, I just never felt that it was fair.
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Speaker 1: Even after you all became successful in your own careers,
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Speaker 1: which you did, that pays. I just didn't feel fair
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Speaker 1: making the resources and receiving the resources that we do
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Speaker 1: without sharing it. That's been my mentality. I gotta share
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Speaker 1: some of this if I can, And that's.
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Speaker 2: A good thought. But I felt at certain times some
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Speaker 2: of you all was living better than I was.
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Speaker 3: Absolutely, yeah, So I don't know horror or hindrance, I.
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Speaker 4: Would say, I mean it did. I don't think it's
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Speaker 4: a bad thing to enable people. It depends on enable
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Speaker 4: them exactly. That's my Pointy enabler has a bad connotation
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Speaker 4: to it, but the strictest definition is like, yeah, you
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Speaker 4: enabled us to be more successful.
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Speaker 5: In my opinion, correct it is.
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Speaker 4: One of the things you always talked about is how
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Speaker 4: you and Mom didn't want us to ever have to
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Speaker 4: work because you wanted us to stay while we were
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Speaker 4: in career and while we were you know, children, because
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Speaker 4: you wanted us to focus on our studies. You wanted
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Speaker 4: us to have more time to build skills that you
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Speaker 4: all believed would help us more in the workforce once
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Speaker 4: we got into our actual careers.
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Speaker 3: Let's talk about how we handled money with our children
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Speaker 3: growing up in our household.
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Speaker 2: I know we had allowances sometimes.
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Speaker 3: Yes, it would collo Yes, there was attached to what
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Speaker 3: we just I think we did.
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Speaker 2: I know we had allowance every week. I can't remember.
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Speaker 7: We definitely had chores. We We've always had chores, So
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Speaker 7: I don't know if the allowance was attached to chores,
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Speaker 7: but we definitely received allowance.
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Speaker 4: The allowance, from what I remember, was not attached to chores.
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Speaker 4: I mean, obviously we had to do what we were before.
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Speaker 5: We would.
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Speaker 4: Would get more money for doing well in our academics,
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Speaker 4: but the allowance was a baseline and it would get
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Speaker 4: taken away if we didn't not do well in.
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Speaker 5: Our again temporarily. Yeah, what were you saying?
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Speaker 3: One time, when you guys were younger, we had a
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Speaker 3: chart of your chores, remember I.
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Speaker 2: Remember on the wall put exces on.
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Speaker 3: It, and at the end of the week you would
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Speaker 3: get you had all your ex skilding, you would get a.
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Speaker 2: Certain amount of money.
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Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know how long that I think When
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Speaker 7: we were, you know, teenagers, especially we just had a
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Speaker 7: rotation of like who was washing the dishes, like who?
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Speaker 2: And then our rooms were just expected to stay clean.
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Speaker 7: And then we had someone of course helping out with
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Speaker 7: laundry and folding clothes and stuff. But yeah, I think
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Speaker 7: allowance helped us have like a baseline of budgeting and
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Speaker 7: money and like if we want to go out on
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Speaker 7: the weekends, if we went to put gas in our car,
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Speaker 7: it was kind of the teachers responsibility still without it
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Speaker 7: being dependent on working or chores or It's just it's
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Speaker 7: more so financially.
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Speaker 4: Because I would say, you all would pay for the
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Speaker 4: things that we wanted to do. For the most part, allowance,
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Speaker 4: for me, looking back on it was more so just
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Speaker 4: like developing and learning that skill of having your own money,
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Speaker 4: how to budget what you want.
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Speaker 1: To spend it on? How were you thinking that? Which
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Speaker 1: part about how are you going to spend it on?
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Speaker 1: All these rational things you said, I believe you spending
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Speaker 1: all that money on weed and liquor.
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Speaker 2: Still that's a choice.
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Speaker 5: Do not believe him? I'm I mean, we're gonna have
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Speaker 5: to launch a lawsuit.
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Speaker 4: I'm getting him for slander and you're getting him disclosing
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Speaker 4: your medical information.
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Speaker 5: Jade is not here. We can talk behind her back.
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Speaker 1: I struggled with her not to take a job because
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Speaker 1: I wanted her grades to be the best, and ultimately
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Speaker 1: she could have gotten better grades, we discovered had she
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Speaker 1: not worked. And so that was where I was coming from,
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Speaker 1: and I think it was the best approach. Your work
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Speaker 1: was school, you didn't work, correct, that was your work
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Speaker 1: perform at the highest level.
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Speaker 4: Is it better to, I guess, have them focused strictly
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Speaker 4: on school work or does it help people build skills?
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Speaker 3: I grew up with a whole different idea of what
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Speaker 3: children should do.
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Speaker 2: I grew up working, and I worked because.
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Speaker 3: You know, you should have your own money as a
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Speaker 3: young person, and I thought it built character. And that
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Speaker 3: was something that you and I had different opinions on
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Speaker 3: on whether our children should have jobs. I thought yes,
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Speaker 3: He didn't want you all to work. I thought yes,
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Speaker 3: because that's all I knew. I knew that I started
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Speaker 3: working at fourteen years old. And not only is it
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Speaker 3: about the money, it's about just being able to.
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Speaker 2: Learn how to.
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Speaker 3: Balance your time. And it's about relationships. I mean, I've
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Speaker 3: made so many friends through working. I had relationships with
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Speaker 3: my bosses. You know what I mean, and learning how
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Speaker 3: to interact. I mean to me, it was something that
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Speaker 3: built on my character. And then when I met him,
8:00
Speaker 3: I was working and working and working.
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Speaker 4: You know.
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Speaker 3: The first thing he said was can I borrow some
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Speaker 3: of the.
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Speaker 2: I remember one.
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Speaker 5: I remember borrow the car.
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Speaker 3: You remember, I know what you used the money for.
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Speaker 3: I know what you used it for, so I know
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Speaker 3: for sure you asked to borrow it.
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Speaker 2: This is when I was young. I was still eighteen,
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Speaker 2: Between eighteen and twenty years old, I was like, you know,
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Speaker 2: leave alone. I did work growing up, though.
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Speaker 7: I remember I worked the daycare center that you at
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Speaker 7: in the summer, and the summer used to pay me.
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Speaker 2: I used to pay to work. To talk about we're
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Speaker 2: talking about that right now.
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Speaker 5: Summer jobs. Yes, summer jobs are working. Yes.
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Speaker 2: I was with the little you nice love little kids.
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Speaker 7: I used to help with the two year old room
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Speaker 7: upstairs and used to pay me by the hour. And
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Speaker 7: then I used to I worked at Africomty my serior
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Speaker 7: year in college. You sure did, I did. I worked
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Speaker 7: at them all. I wanted that discount what you in
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Speaker 7: high school.
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Speaker 5: Probably about remember that.
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Speaker 2: A summerset about a couple of months.
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Speaker 4: Okay, this because what I heard from you is that,
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Speaker 4: and I agree with this personally, is that there's a
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Speaker 4: social component to working, you know, beyond just having to work.
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Speaker 4: Because I know, even with me in the position that
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Speaker 4: I'm in in life right now, fortunate that I don't
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Speaker 4: have to work as much and do as much, but
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Speaker 4: I pushed myself and I do because I would go
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Speaker 4: crazy just sitting around not working as much.
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Speaker 5: I ask you a question, did they want it? How many?
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Speaker 1: What percentage you think of the students that country day? Huh,
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Speaker 1: the most academic demanding school in Michigan, how many work?
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Speaker 1: The private school too? How many work? I mean, I'm
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Speaker 1: not even trying to be funny. I would sa zero percent.
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Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying.
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Speaker 1: In a highly demanding academic Uh requirements, I don't believe
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Speaker 1: if you should work. And that's what we wanted. To
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Speaker 1: your point, even with summer jobs. They were going to summer.
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Speaker 2: Camps, right, they were going to be they were going
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Speaker 2: to summer camps.
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Speaker 1: And what was the result you got in the University
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Speaker 1: of Michigan. So that's why I didn't want you all
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Speaker 1: to work.
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Speaker 3: Even with the work, any parent, if you feel that
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Speaker 3: the work is affecting the child's grades, You most definitely
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Speaker 3: have to pull back on that on any activity rather
10:31
Speaker 3: be work for any type of sports. If the grades
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Speaker 3: aren't there, you have to pull back. I kept good
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Speaker 3: grades though I worked and kept good It's also yours.
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Speaker 7: It's this individual thing and with your family, your family,
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Speaker 7: your house, you're at like, it's a lot.
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Speaker 6: I know when we did older, but when we grew up,
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Speaker 6: did we did we talk openly about money? And you know,
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Speaker 6: did you all hide your financial stresses away from us?
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Speaker 6: And also do you think that that is what parents
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Speaker 6: should do or do you think that you should raise
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Speaker 6: your children to know the stresses to help them be
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Speaker 6: able to avoid them.
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Speaker 5: I always thought we were rich, right, I don't know.
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Speaker 5: I don't know.
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Speaker 3: And it's so funny how when you hear people today
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Speaker 3: talk about when they were younger, they always say a
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Speaker 3: lot of people always say that we didn't have much.
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Speaker 3: We ain't we didn't know it, We didn't know it. Yeah,
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Speaker 3: because we had a good time what we had. Yeah,
11:25
Speaker 3: so that's you all.
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Speaker 4: Too, even And we never even thought about money growing up.
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Speaker 4: I mean, you always tell us that we couldn't do
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Speaker 4: things when we were younger, But I don't think I
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Speaker 4: ever in my mind as a child, attached it to money,
11:35
Speaker 4: and I think we.
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Speaker 2: Started giving you guys a loans. We did try to make.
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Speaker 3: You all budget and learn how to budget, but you
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Speaker 3: know that's a big task, uh huh so, and.
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Speaker 2: I trying to do the same with my kids.
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Speaker 7: I definitely don't believe in parents talking about money stresses
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Speaker 7: in front of kids. That I don't want kids to
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Speaker 7: grow up with anxiety about money of like the scarcity.
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Speaker 7: Like I want them to know that money is a
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Speaker 7: tool or you know, it allows you to do a
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Speaker 7: certain things and achieved certain things, and you know you
12:02
Speaker 7: have to work for it and know the value of it.
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Speaker 7: But I don't want them to be stressed about it.
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Speaker 1: And as I'm thinking about it, I just heard me
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Speaker 1: say I just don't know as I'm reflecting back. However,
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Speaker 1: I never knew of the financial stress my mother was under.
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Speaker 1: So it gave me so much confidence to believe that
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Speaker 1: I could do anything because I didn't have any threat
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Speaker 1: of poverty. I didn't have the threat of not having
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Speaker 1: what I needed to move forward in life. And folks
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Speaker 1: act now you hear all the time, I didn't know
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Speaker 1: we were poor.
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Speaker 5: That was the thing with me. I know people had
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Speaker 5: better things. I didn't know that.
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Speaker 2: My kids.
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Speaker 7: I'm like, these are all choices, Like, yes, people always
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Speaker 7: gonna have more than you, they're gonna always have less
12:54
Speaker 7: than you. And what you have appreciated and you have
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Speaker 7: enough and if you want more, you work for it
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Speaker 7: and these are tools to get more.
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Speaker 2: But you know, I don't want the man they're always
13:06
Speaker 2: going to up more l.
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Speaker 4: And I keep saying, how do you manage that as
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Speaker 4: a parent, because I've even heard your children ask you once,
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Speaker 4: you know, for example, like oh so and so has
13:15
Speaker 4: a mansion, why don't we have a mansion as big
13:17
Speaker 4: as there's? Oh yeah, Like how do you manage those
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Speaker 4: conversations of like, well, people.
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Speaker 7: Are always going to have more, people may have less,
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Speaker 7: and this is the way mommy and daddy work. Really
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Speaker 7: are what we have and this is what we have
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Speaker 7: and that's great, and they purchased that with their money.
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Speaker 7: It's all about to me, It's about also realizing that
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Speaker 7: you don't have to have everything that everyone has for
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Speaker 7: one and then put it in the perspective of like, yes,
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Speaker 7: someone has a bigger home than you, but what does
13:45
Speaker 7: that even matter? Like do you even need a big
13:47
Speaker 7: home like that, Like why do you even want it?
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Speaker 7: Like do you want to get somebody else has it?
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Speaker 7: Or do you like really in our house we have
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Speaker 7: a four bedroom home, definitely enough, big enough. We use
13:58
Speaker 7: one living we don't even use most of That's what
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Speaker 7: I'm saying.
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Speaker 2: So it's just like, and.
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Speaker 1: I think part of it is that the values of
14:06
Speaker 1: the community in which they're living and growing up being
14:10
Speaker 1: and the values out here in Los Angeles. You have
14:13
Speaker 1: people at twenty five thousand square foot homes with only
14:17
Speaker 1: two people living there.
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Speaker 2: Questions are great, right choices?
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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I believe it's consumption. I believe it's materialism
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Speaker 1: and consumption and over consumer consumption. And that's what we
14:30
Speaker 1: train our children those values. So if materialism and they're looking,
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Speaker 1: if if the values are based on who has what
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Speaker 1: and that's the ranking, then yeah, they're going to feel something.
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Speaker 5: They're going to feel love less than.
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Speaker 1: So I think there's the value you should program your children,
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Speaker 1: And I think you should program them against materialism and
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Speaker 1: over consumption.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. And that's what I mean as kids.
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Speaker 2: To me, I feel like.
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Speaker 7: Kids are supposed to push boundaries and ask, That's just
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Speaker 7: what they do they're learning, they're learning who they are
15:00
Speaker 7: with them, so they learned their standard. So like, even
15:02
Speaker 7: when they're constantly asking for more like toys or toes
15:05
Speaker 7: or it's up to a parent to say no, I
15:07
Speaker 7: don't get mad at them for asking anymore, because that's
15:09
Speaker 7: just I'm the parent. I'm supposed to set the boundary
15:12
Speaker 7: and to teach the lessons behind it. But it's their
15:14
Speaker 7: job to push and to ask and to like, you know,
15:17
Speaker 7: be curious. Like I don't want them to be scared
15:19
Speaker 7: to ask or what they want. Yeah, but then I
15:21
Speaker 7: also realize that, yeah, there's a no.
15:23
Speaker 2: You should be okay with the no too.
15:24
Speaker 5: You know.
15:24
Speaker 4: I love what you said about the values of teaching
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Speaker 4: about just over consumption to the materialism from a young age,
15:31
Speaker 4: because you definitely taught us that.
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Speaker 5: That's what LA is about. That's what all I know about.
15:35
Speaker 4: And I have to catch myself often times because I
15:37
Speaker 4: think you raised me in such us in such a
15:39
Speaker 4: way you all did in which I almost despise that.
15:43
Speaker 4: And so I have to catch myself trying not to
15:46
Speaker 4: be judgmental of people who are super materialistic or display
15:50
Speaker 4: it because I'm like, Okay, that's just what they like
15:51
Speaker 4: in life, but I just have no interest in it personally.
15:54
Speaker 4: And I think it's because of how you you all
15:56
Speaker 4: raised us. I like a nice vacation.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, and you already kind of you know, hit the
16:02
Speaker 6: point grig that I was going to next. What did
16:07
Speaker 6: each of us learn from mom and dad when it
16:09
Speaker 6: comes to handling money? And I'll start, you know, I
16:13
Speaker 6: believe that I learned so much in terms of when
16:16
Speaker 6: you do have a lot, you know, you raise us
16:20
Speaker 6: on helping others. And I'm not saying give your money
16:22
Speaker 6: away do anything, but just like use that as a
16:25
Speaker 6: crutch to help people, and because what you realize is
16:28
Speaker 6: that it makes you a better person. But there's also
16:30
Speaker 6: a line that's what I grew up with you all
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Speaker 6: with handling money and having money, it gives you a
16:35
Speaker 6: bigger responsibility to help to help you.
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Speaker 1: And the Bible says that my Christian value say that
16:41
Speaker 1: to whom much is given, much is expected. And so
16:45
Speaker 1: I think that we should live by the values that
16:49
Speaker 1: one we've been given the best example of, and two
16:53
Speaker 1: that make a difference in the lives of others. That
16:55
Speaker 1: makes your life purposeful. I think everybody can live a
16:59
Speaker 1: purposeful life. And I think primarily that purposeful life is
17:03
Speaker 1: helping others. You know, another part is giving people a
17:07
Speaker 1: fishing rod as opposed to the fish itself. And for example,
17:12
Speaker 1: when we open the Matth's Community Center, the purpose was
17:16
Speaker 1: to help folks train the end of the workplace, get
17:20
Speaker 1: your records clean if you're re entering society from prison
17:24
Speaker 1: or what have you, and other ways when we had
17:28
Speaker 1: career exposed we have now we have the ex offender
17:33
Speaker 1: or expungement fairs so they can get their record clean
17:37
Speaker 1: and go to work. So that's always been our approach
17:41
Speaker 1: to helping the general population is not just necessarily give
17:47
Speaker 1: them food and et cetera, but give them a way
17:49
Speaker 1: to make their own.
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Speaker 3: Food, give them that fishing grind when they come asking
17:53
Speaker 3: for money.
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Speaker 7: Right, I think I learned the value of hard work
17:58
Speaker 7: for sure, and the value of money that you know.
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Speaker 7: I learned that if I want things, I have to
18:05
Speaker 7: go out and try and succeed.
18:07
Speaker 5: You know.
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Speaker 7: I didn't expect things to be given to us and
18:09
Speaker 7: things like there was a money to you on the side,
18:12
Speaker 7: but that was just like a little bit like I
18:13
Speaker 7: knew if I wanted more, I had to go get it.
18:15
Speaker 7: And I also realized that, yes, it's important to give back,
18:18
Speaker 7: and it's important to you know, support other people and
18:23
Speaker 7: once you yeah, just to once to instill those same
18:28
Speaker 7: values in my family and my kids.
18:30
Speaker 5: What do they call you? What is your nickname in
18:33
Speaker 5: the family? Anyone to remember, Mama math is money grabber.
18:46
Speaker 6: I don't think I've ever heard that my entire life.
18:49
Speaker 1: A lot of time when she was a child, money
18:52
Speaker 1: It's so important her and I admired.
18:54
Speaker 5: More than anything tomorrow.
18:56
Speaker 6: Is very frugal.
18:58
Speaker 5: And wanted all monies.
19:00
Speaker 1: And I'm teaching her children to beat the same way,
19:04
Speaker 1: even though so I can have fun with them one day.
19:07
Speaker 5: In fact, I am already calling more a money grub.
19:10
Speaker 5: I say, it's just like your.
19:11
Speaker 2: Mama, I would save all my money. And then I
19:15
Speaker 2: still as I'm like, can't buy me this? Like, I'll
19:17
Speaker 2: just say, I like to save all my money.
19:23
Speaker 5: Room.
19:24
Speaker 6: So let's move on here. I have a question. Your
19:27
Speaker 6: cousin asks you for rent money for the third month
19:29
Speaker 6: in a row. They say, this is the last time.
19:34
Speaker 6: What do you pay it?
19:36
Speaker 2: Oh that's a big one.
19:38
Speaker 7: Rent money three months in a row, not even like
19:40
Speaker 7: three times over three years.
19:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, three months in a row. It's a lot for me.
19:44
Speaker 3: I think after the first time, when it came to
19:47
Speaker 3: the second time asking, I will require you to show
19:50
Speaker 3: me something of what's going on. Rather it be your budget,
19:53
Speaker 3: how much money you're bringing in, how you intend to
19:56
Speaker 3: pay this back, how you intend to catch up. Because
19:58
Speaker 3: it sounds like it's something that happened every single month,
20:01
Speaker 3: but there's a deficit in your finance.
20:03
Speaker 5: It's going to move.
20:08
Speaker 6: Any of it.
20:09
Speaker 3: Like you say, a cousin, okay, cousin, that means you
20:14
Speaker 3: skipped over Mama, daddy, grandma, granddaddy.
20:19
Speaker 2: They have their brothers and sisters.
20:21
Speaker 3: You skipped over all these people to ask me. So
20:24
Speaker 3: have you already worn them out? And you can't go
20:28
Speaker 3: to them? So most definitely I think about all of this.
20:31
Speaker 3: But after the third month, now I don't think I
20:34
Speaker 3: can help you.
20:34
Speaker 6: You know what the worst part is, it's those times
20:37
Speaker 6: where people ask you every month for some you know, money,
20:41
Speaker 6: and I've experienced from you all you know, helping out
20:43
Speaker 6: family and friends. You see them on vacation, you see
20:48
Speaker 6: them with the new car.
20:49
Speaker 2: You see social media is a bad thing, right judging.
20:53
Speaker 1: With me, people get upset, well sometimes would when they
20:57
Speaker 1: asked me because of my response, because I have kind
21:02
Speaker 1: of a running idea of the income category my friends
21:08
Speaker 1: and family are in. So you can't keep coming to me.
21:14
Speaker 1: And I know you work as a technology aid at
21:17
Speaker 1: a big company and I can assume that range is
21:21
Speaker 1: forty to sixty thousand. Well, no, you can't keep coming.
21:24
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kind of lecture you. And folks don't look.
21:27
Speaker 1: They don't like lecture in us. They don't like to
21:29
Speaker 1: be lectured, and well they don't come ask me.
21:31
Speaker 2: So you look at their finances?
21:33
Speaker 4: Absolutely, yeah, I think that's so fair to say, let's
21:36
Speaker 4: sit down and figure this out, because I don't have
21:38
Speaker 4: the ability to keep just shelling out month after month
21:41
Speaker 4: for your rent. I think about people spend their money
21:44
Speaker 4: the way they want to spend their money.
21:46
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, people spend their money, spend their money like
21:48
Speaker 3: they want to, and so therefore you have to figure
21:51
Speaker 3: out though you have to look at their income.
21:54
Speaker 4: I will say, me and Elliott just had a family
21:56
Speaker 4: member two weeks ago come. Thus, a close family member
22:00
Speaker 4: ask us if we could, trying to keep this a nondescript,
22:04
Speaker 4: if we could loan, you know, basically invest in their
22:08
Speaker 4: home because they're close to foreclosure and wanted us to
22:12
Speaker 4: take on a percentage of their house and all these things,
22:15
Speaker 4: and that just to me, it's like, okay, but you
22:18
Speaker 4: drive a range Rover.
22:20
Speaker 5: I don't rover. You rather give up this house.
22:26
Speaker 4: And I don't know what his finances are, but it's like,
22:28
Speaker 4: if I see you living a more lavish and luxurious
22:32
Speaker 4: lifestyle than me and you're asking me for money, I'm
22:36
Speaker 4: already like, okay, wait a.
22:37
Speaker 5: Minute, Like what's going on here?
22:39
Speaker 1: You know, I do like the approach of giving collateral though,
22:42
Speaker 1: and that's essentially what he was doing. But even collateral
22:45
Speaker 1: with an investment, they're giving you of equity so that
22:49
Speaker 1: you don't have to give me your money back. We
22:51
Speaker 1: know that your property are going to go up, and
22:53
Speaker 1: so your equity that you put into their property is
22:56
Speaker 1: going to give you more back than they borrow.
22:58
Speaker 5: So you would be more open.
23:00
Speaker 3: Absolutely, it's like a big family dispute.
23:03
Speaker 2: They're going on judge matthis point.
23:07
Speaker 3: That's paper work, paperwork, paperwork.
23:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, ain't gonna be in line with the foreclosure.
23:15
Speaker 4: That's exactly what concerned us. To your point, it's like
23:18
Speaker 4: I don't want to get I'm you know, sorry, but
23:20
Speaker 4: I would rather give you the money, quite frankly, and
23:23
Speaker 4: be pull if I could afford to then be pulled
23:26
Speaker 4: into an involuntary business arrangement.
23:29
Speaker 5: It's particularly with.
23:30
Speaker 4: Somebody who had already proven they maybe aren't the most
23:32
Speaker 4: fasifully responsible, because.
23:34
Speaker 7: If it goes into foreclosure next month, you third and
23:36
Speaker 7: fourth behind the others.
23:37
Speaker 2: Mortgages and loans took out, so you never get your
23:39
Speaker 2: money back.
23:40
Speaker 4: You still ain't paying the mortgage out and gave you
23:42
Speaker 4: this money. So now I'm on the hooks for all
23:44
Speaker 4: this stuff.
23:45
Speaker 2: You need to consult with a lawyer.
23:47
Speaker 3: You know, I told you you'd be third fourth in
23:50
Speaker 3: line to get your money.
23:51
Speaker 5: So I don't even know what that means, but I
23:54
Speaker 5: don't like it.
23:57
Speaker 3: That with your good buddy house was in foreclosed.
24:03
Speaker 2: Your family house was in not foreclosure.
24:06
Speaker 5: Taxes I didn't pay so many for. I know.
24:10
Speaker 2: This is the lesson you learn, because I was like, what,
24:15
Speaker 2: it's a whole bunch of functions. They can't get together
24:17
Speaker 2: this money, I said.
24:18
Speaker 3: I don't know about that, I said, because the thing
24:21
Speaker 3: is they're in tax trouble now, They're going to be
24:23
Speaker 3: in tax trouble a year or two.
24:25
Speaker 2: And where did that house end up. You see, these
24:29
Speaker 2: are things you should remember.
24:31
Speaker 5: Waste so much money.
24:33
Speaker 2: Well, maybe that's why they keep coming to you, because
24:35
Speaker 2: you forget.
24:36
Speaker 5: I remember.
24:40
Speaker 2: When it comes to me one time.
24:42
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
24:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I don't know.
24:45
Speaker 3: Maybe that's why you don't have the check book anymore
24:47
Speaker 3: or any credit card.
24:50
Speaker 5: Voluntarily. I charged the band the Marble volunteers.
24:55
Speaker 1: Don't do digital because everybody digital is an emergency.
24:59
Speaker 5: Now.
24:59
Speaker 1: I do have a little clever way of handling that.
25:01
Speaker 1: That's why I don't do digital banking. So we don't
25:04
Speaker 1: tell everybody because they gonna know what's game when you.
25:06
Speaker 7: Say it till y'all it.
25:10
Speaker 1: Might be, but no, the fact is, if you can
25:14
Speaker 1: wait on my check, a check from California, it takes
25:17
Speaker 1: five days to get to the Midwest and East coast
25:19
Speaker 1: where most of my folks who need something or call
25:22
Speaker 1: for something. If you could wait wait five days for
25:25
Speaker 1: that coming to mail, your mercy should be over. But
25:32
Speaker 1: their seriousness, the consensus, it sounds like that we would
25:36
Speaker 1: want to be helpful, but we will want to understand.
25:38
Speaker 1: If you come in three times repeatedly asking for money,
25:42
Speaker 1: we would sit down and try and figure out what's.
25:44
Speaker 5: Going on, or that's what's going on. We were helpful.
25:49
Speaker 3: We loaned the money the first time, they asked the
25:52
Speaker 3: second time, so it's helpful. In scenario is a cousin coming,
25:57
Speaker 3: so I'm going to ask for money for the third time.
26:00
Speaker 2: To pay their rent. So when you do give money,
26:03
Speaker 2: do you guys?
26:03
Speaker 7: Usually do people think it's a loan or you expect
26:07
Speaker 7: to get it back or as a gift?
26:08
Speaker 2: I don't know.
26:08
Speaker 7: I kind of think like, if you are loaning money
26:11
Speaker 7: it's especially the family, you shouldn't you kind of hope.
26:14
Speaker 2: To get it back, but you shouldn't.
26:16
Speaker 7: You should just think it as a gift because who
26:18
Speaker 7: wants to fall out with family over money? And I
26:20
Speaker 7: know a lot of people do fall over money, which
26:22
Speaker 7: is sad. So I'm like, you should be able to
26:23
Speaker 7: only give away what you can afford to get away.
26:25
Speaker 6: You know, I fell out with a friend over loaning
26:27
Speaker 6: him some money as in college. I helped to move
26:29
Speaker 6: into his apartment and we had like a little falling
26:32
Speaker 6: out and I was like, hey, man, where's that money at.
26:34
Speaker 6: You're gonna get it. You're gonna get it. And then
26:36
Speaker 6: I got put up the pressure a little bit. He's like,
26:38
Speaker 6: you ain't never seeing that mother money. And I'm telling
26:42
Speaker 6: you that was the last time I gave money to
26:45
Speaker 6: a friend because I'm like, this is not happening again.
26:47
Speaker 6: And then he's an actor now.
26:50
Speaker 5: And so no.
26:52
Speaker 6: But it's just horrible because I see him on TV
26:56
Speaker 6: and I'm like, this, dude, owe me money. He's in commercials.
26:59
Speaker 6: He was on a CBS series.
27:02
Speaker 5: Was it over a thousand dollars?
27:04
Speaker 6: It was just under But that was about fifteen years ago.
27:07
Speaker 4: So yes, So we'll call up to TENZ sell this story,
27:11
Speaker 4: do an interview with them, and get your thousand dollars back.
27:13
Speaker 5: They'll pay you for that. I'm sorry, man, I had
27:17
Speaker 5: to get my money back.
27:18
Speaker 1: No, but I with regard to expecting the money to
27:22
Speaker 1: come back, I never give money to that.
27:24
Speaker 5: I don't expect it. I don't expect it. But this
27:27
Speaker 5: is what I do.
27:29
Speaker 1: I never give one hundred percent of what they're asking
27:32
Speaker 1: for unless I'm convinced, unless they send me that eviction
27:36
Speaker 1: notice that says I need two thousand. I see the
27:40
Speaker 1: actual notice other than that, and they just proved they
27:44
Speaker 1: can't pay. But then I'm giving you half. Now, if
27:46
Speaker 1: you don't have any friends or family can give you
27:48
Speaker 1: the other halfs. You must have been doing everybody around.
27:51
Speaker 1: So let me ask you a question. Have you ever done?
27:54
Speaker 4: We're like, okay, I'll pay your rent directly, I'll pay
27:56
Speaker 4: your bill directly. I'll buy your groceries directly, versus just
28:00
Speaker 4: giving out money to somebody.
28:02
Speaker 5: And do it really okay, even for friends and family
28:06
Speaker 5: and stuff.
28:07
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm one and done.
28:08
Speaker 3: So after you came to me one time, and if
28:12
Speaker 3: I can financially afford to help you, I'm gonna help you.
28:15
Speaker 3: But I don't I do this though. I say that,
28:19
Speaker 3: you know you need to pay me back. I just
28:21
Speaker 3: want to see if they're gonna pay back. I just
28:23
Speaker 3: want to see if they're gonna pay it back. And
28:24
Speaker 3: so those who have come back.
28:26
Speaker 2: To me and say, well, here's the money, keep it.
28:29
Speaker 5: You do do that?
28:30
Speaker 1: Mom?
28:30
Speaker 5: I do that.
28:31
Speaker 2: I say, keep it. See, I wouldn't know that that's
28:34
Speaker 2: it for you.
28:35
Speaker 5: It wouldn't be just fall out.
28:38
Speaker 2: You don't about many people not paying you back. What
28:40
Speaker 2: do you do to pay them back?
28:42
Speaker 4: Huh?
28:43
Speaker 2: Oh okay, no, I'm nott them tell me.
28:46
Speaker 3: People tell you when they borrow money, I'm gonna pay
28:48
Speaker 3: you back on this. I do that, I say, okay, okay,
28:51
Speaker 3: And I just want to see what they're going to do,
28:52
Speaker 3: because that shows me your character.
28:54
Speaker 2: That shows me it's okay. If you don't have the money,
28:57
Speaker 2: you should come to me and say, you know, I
28:58
Speaker 2: know I was gonna pay you back, but I really haven't.
29:01
Speaker 2: Still having problems. But my thing is when they do
29:04
Speaker 2: come to me with something, even something like.
29:05
Speaker 3: That, I'll say, don't worry about it, just keep it
29:08
Speaker 3: because don't you be conscious of it, you know what
29:11
Speaker 3: I mean, and conscious of the fact that.
29:13
Speaker 2: You owe me or that we give you your favor.
29:17
Speaker 4: The tax trouble scenario, a relative ig northern taxes for
29:22
Speaker 4: years and now needs help before things get worse. Do
29:26
Speaker 4: you help clean up a mess they create it?
29:31
Speaker 1: If you tell me, you'd have to show me a
29:37
Speaker 1: forfeiture notice or what do they call it? The notice
29:41
Speaker 1: where they're about to seize your bank account or I
29:43
Speaker 1: would seize your house like a lean.
29:47
Speaker 5: If you show me that.
29:48
Speaker 1: They are about to put a lien on your property
29:52
Speaker 1: because of that, I'll write to check to the I
29:54
Speaker 1: R S to the amount that will lift the lean
29:58
Speaker 1: or prevent the lean.
30:00
Speaker 5: Not all of that. Oh, yeah, that's my point.
30:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, forty thousand Liane.
30:05
Speaker 5: You know who it is.
30:07
Speaker 1: I did it from there in that ring Ward, my
30:09
Speaker 1: mentor and our godmother twenty she owed twenty one thousand.
30:13
Speaker 1: I put it right down because they had her. They
30:15
Speaker 1: were gonna take her house, and she was retired, she
30:17
Speaker 1: was disabled, had breast cancer and all those things, and
30:21
Speaker 1: they were gonna take her house.
30:22
Speaker 7: And that was like your mom, Yeah, that was your Yes,
30:25
Speaker 7: your grandmother. It depends on the person, depends on the scenario.
30:28
Speaker 2: For sure.
30:29
Speaker 7: I'm gonna say no just because I don't have forty
30:31
Speaker 7: thousand dollars to get know anybody. I don't have twenty
30:35
Speaker 7: thousand dollars on anybody. But I'm gonna help you figure
30:38
Speaker 7: out your finances. I'll give you some resources.
30:40
Speaker 2: And that's all I was gonna say about a tax, Lian.
30:43
Speaker 3: I would have to if I saw you partying for
30:46
Speaker 3: years prior to this and then you come to me with.
30:49
Speaker 5: A Boho ho ho.
30:50
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
30:52
Speaker 5: I'm gonna let people lose their house.
30:54
Speaker 2: I'm not responsible for your money.
30:58
Speaker 5: I'm just telling you it off set.
31:01
Speaker 3: I don't believe that you are responsible for somebody's off,
31:04
Speaker 3: you know, spending all their money.
31:06
Speaker 5: She didn't make them lose their house, that Range Rover.
31:08
Speaker 4: And that's what I do.
31:13
Speaker 3: If you did not take care of these things, they
31:15
Speaker 3: were not valuable to you. Now, if you didn't have
31:17
Speaker 3: the money to pay it over all.
31:19
Speaker 2: These years, that's a whole. If you are struggling and
31:22
Speaker 2: could not pay it.
31:24
Speaker 3: But if I saw you Party and Harty are living
31:26
Speaker 3: a good life, like you say, driving a Range Rover,
31:29
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
31:30
Speaker 2: I can't help you any of that. I will say,
31:36
Speaker 2: can your mama? Can you move in with your mama?
31:42
Speaker 3: People live good lives and you be stepping to be
31:45
Speaker 3: able to wake up every morning and live that's your
31:48
Speaker 3: joy right there. You are not guaranteed a house if
31:52
Speaker 3: you do not care for it.
31:53
Speaker 2: I do think you should help people.
31:55
Speaker 3: Who are financially struggling if they're close to you, But no,
31:59
Speaker 3: not those who are just after two years.
32:01
Speaker 2: I ain't paying nothing in two years.
32:03
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think for me personally, I mean I draw
32:06
Speaker 4: the I'm more like what you were saying earlier, like,
32:09
Speaker 4: are you in an immediate emergency of I have nothing
32:13
Speaker 4: to eat, I have no place to sleep tonight?
32:16
Speaker 1: I have an eviction notice, and oh I have an
32:19
Speaker 1: eviction judgment that says I have to be out in
32:22
Speaker 1: ten days.
32:23
Speaker 5: I'll hope you find a place to stay.
32:25
Speaker 4: I don't know if I can pay that off for you,
32:26
Speaker 4: if I can even afford it, because the thing is
32:28
Speaker 4: what happens when you afford it. If you can afford it,
32:31
Speaker 4: would you depends on the circumstances. At that point, yeah,
32:34
Speaker 4: I would consider it. At that point, it was how
32:36
Speaker 4: did you get into this situation? Is there a realistic
32:39
Speaker 4: path to you being able to stay in this situation
32:42
Speaker 4: if I help you with this one time payment, or
32:45
Speaker 4: are you gonna end up losing it?
32:46
Speaker 6: Here's the thing I believe. I would look at the
32:49
Speaker 6: person in the situation, and like you said, if you
32:52
Speaker 6: see them all the time partying and doing all these
32:55
Speaker 6: things and events, I would say no. I truly believe
32:57
Speaker 6: that any situation, and even monitor with like you, you
33:01
Speaker 6: out of it in seven years, if you get your
33:03
Speaker 6: home taken all these things and sometimes that's what it
33:07
Speaker 6: takes to finally get you on track. And I know
33:11
Speaker 6: that a lot of my biggest lessons has been when
33:14
Speaker 6: I had to uh, you have pressure, when you have pressure,
33:18
Speaker 6: but also when you when you don't get any help
33:20
Speaker 6: and you realize the consequences. But if you keep if
33:24
Speaker 6: people always get the baill out and they alays like, well,
33:26
Speaker 6: I'll be good because my uncle gonna help me and
33:28
Speaker 6: my cousin gonna help me, or I just got to
33:30
Speaker 6: ask them, you never truly learn. And I think that
33:34
Speaker 6: so it is circumstantial. If it's like a you know,
33:37
Speaker 6: my my aunt who fell on some hard times, always
33:40
Speaker 6: been responsible. She's still in this time, you know, working
33:45
Speaker 6: every day and trying to make ends meet, pay that.
33:49
Speaker 6: But if it's her son, my cousin who I see
33:53
Speaker 6: with the with the Mercedes bens, I don't know.
33:56
Speaker 1: Well, if you have big money, you would I think
33:59
Speaker 1: that you're hard. It's very very similar to mine. And
34:03
Speaker 1: I think that if you had money, you would give
34:06
Speaker 1: away a lot more. I think that you and it
34:09
Speaker 1: makes you feel good and you enjoy giving, just as
34:12
Speaker 1: I do and everybody does. But I think yours is
34:15
Speaker 1: uh the higher level.
34:18
Speaker 6: But it's really funny because I like to give it
34:20
Speaker 6: away without someone asking me. I like to see someone's
34:23
Speaker 6: situation and be like, oh man, they would appreciate this too.
34:27
Speaker 6: I hate it when people ask, when I feel that
34:32
Speaker 6: it's their fault. Their situation is entirely their fault. But
34:36
Speaker 6: if I see a friend struggling and stuff, Yes, if
34:38
Speaker 6: I had a lot of money, I would be you know,
34:40
Speaker 6: I take friends on trip. And also if I want
34:42
Speaker 6: the lottery tomorrow, I already thought about it. I would
34:45
Speaker 6: create a big family trust. You can get money from
34:47
Speaker 6: it only if it's for a business venture and if
34:50
Speaker 6: and what will be included is if you start this business,
34:53
Speaker 6: it would wipe out your tax. The first part of
34:56
Speaker 6: the money will go out to erasing your debt, and
34:59
Speaker 6: then the second throw it out.
35:01
Speaker 2: You're paying the lottery.
35:04
Speaker 5: If you're playing the lottery.
35:08
Speaker 6: I manifested years ago that I was going to win
35:10
Speaker 6: the lottery before before forty and so it's been a
35:14
Speaker 6: strong coming.
35:15
Speaker 5: It's coming coming. A family member asked you, I'm sorry lottery.
35:21
Speaker 6: No, No, that's just for a big money. You put
35:23
Speaker 6: a big money.
35:24
Speaker 2: Actually things coming.
35:27
Speaker 5: Oh, I've been manifesting this for you. It's coming. I'm
35:30
Speaker 5: gonna hit the big.
35:30
Speaker 2: Lottery thousands and thousands.
35:37
Speaker 5: And that's the case. Here's the thing.
35:39
Speaker 6: But here's the thing you tell me about the it's
35:41
Speaker 6: not the small lottery. It needs to be over six
35:43
Speaker 6: hundred would take it wrong? About I would do the
35:46
Speaker 6: half splits about you know about ninety ninety million in
35:51
Speaker 6: cash cash, I mean about ninety a cash. It's coming
35:56
Speaker 6: about man, about ninety in cash taxes.
35:59
Speaker 5: It's got I got a couple of friends around the
36:02
Speaker 5: numbers game downtown on that. I got it all. I
36:06
Speaker 5: got it.
36:07
Speaker 4: A family member ask you to co sign for a
36:10
Speaker 4: car or apartment.
36:13
Speaker 3: Spending on what family member really and what type of
36:17
Speaker 3: job they have in order to ensure that this car
36:21
Speaker 3: gets paid, this card note or their apartment gets paid.
36:24
Speaker 3: If it's my children, yes, yes, yes, yes it's if
36:28
Speaker 3: it's my children.
36:29
Speaker 2: If it's a relative, not so much.
36:33
Speaker 5: Yeah.
36:34
Speaker 1: I'm not co signing for anybody other than my immediate family. Same, no,
36:39
Speaker 1: because that's something to put you on the hook for years.
36:43
Speaker 7: It's like and then they don't they can't pay, and
36:45
Speaker 7: they don't have their credit. Then right, like there's a
36:48
Speaker 7: reason why. And if you can't afford it, the bank
36:49
Speaker 7: doesn't think you can afford it. I don't think you
36:51
Speaker 7: can afford either.
36:53
Speaker 4: That's a good I would do it for my child
36:56
Speaker 4: while they're building their credit. If you've messed up your
36:59
Speaker 4: credit and my have being more of a conversation on
37:01
Speaker 4: what's going on?
37:02
Speaker 5: You get that lecture for sure?
37:06
Speaker 4: Well, because at that point he just got to be like, Okay, well,
37:08
Speaker 4: if they don't pay it, I would have to know
37:11
Speaker 4: that I'm able to financially pay whatever I'm co signing
37:14
Speaker 4: for it if they can't pay it.
37:16
Speaker 1: My brother Ron, he co signed for my first car,
37:19
Speaker 1: and I forever appreciate that, and he paid it totally.
37:25
Speaker 1: And I was living a reckless life still. I was
37:28
Speaker 1: still a young thugs transitioning and this man had trust
37:32
Speaker 1: in me to I don't know if he trusted it
37:35
Speaker 1: or not. He took the risk that I was paying.
37:38
Speaker 1: We did, and in fact, when that car was totaled
37:40
Speaker 1: by my other brother, when he totaled it, I still
37:44
Speaker 1: had to pay, but I made sure that I didn't
37:48
Speaker 1: mess his credit.
37:49
Speaker 3: Up to be clear about that, I had to pay.
37:54
Speaker 5: Okay.
37:54
Speaker 4: Next question for following up on a mirrors, I guess
37:58
Speaker 4: lottery business trust fun A family member wants to start
38:03
Speaker 4: a ten thousand dollars business but has no business plan,
38:06
Speaker 4: no budget, and no timeline to pay it back.
38:09
Speaker 5: Duh, I already know that. I hope I know the answers.
38:14
Speaker 3: No, now, ain't you You can provide some of those
38:17
Speaker 3: things you mentioned, such as a business plan number one
38:20
Speaker 3: and a timeline on how is my money going to
38:23
Speaker 3: be paid back?
38:25
Speaker 1: For me to answer would be, I'll reflect back on
38:28
Speaker 1: what you've done already. You go with a person's history,
38:31
Speaker 1: have there been a diligent at the other things that
38:33
Speaker 1: they've attempted to do, or were working the work environment
38:38
Speaker 1: where they diligent and took care of business and second
38:41
Speaker 1: leader skill level. I'm not gonna buy a factory. I'm
38:46
Speaker 1: not gonna help you get a factory. If you're a physician,
38:50
Speaker 1: I believe I don't.
38:51
Speaker 4: Know how successful you are because you're not successful in
38:54
Speaker 4: the field that you're asking me for money and I ain't.
38:57
Speaker 5: Getting it too.
38:58
Speaker 7: You have a busines is planning to show me what
39:00
Speaker 7: you correct? You know, so I agree you turn over
39:06
Speaker 7: trying to go back there, I would say no, I'm
39:09
Speaker 7: a big I'm big on.
39:10
Speaker 2: No from you.
39:14
Speaker 8: She felt that one that's a good thing.
39:25
Speaker 2: That's a good thing. You have to prove you at
39:28
Speaker 2: least have a business plan.
39:29
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna invest in you if you haven't invested
39:32
Speaker 7: in yourself in building business first.
39:34
Speaker 2: I'm not going to just go off with one of
39:36
Speaker 2: a hope in a.
39:37
Speaker 1: Dream, I hear that every day, everybody's stream, everybody's whole.
39:42
Speaker 1: I can do that.
39:43
Speaker 7: This is like your third or fourth business, and you've
39:45
Speaker 7: had successful ones, you've had some that you had to
39:47
Speaker 7: you know, didn't work out, and you got a plan.
39:49
Speaker 7: Then you know we can talk and there may be
39:51
Speaker 7: some equity in the business or like you know, or
39:54
Speaker 7: maybe alone with interest. I don't know, but you can't
39:56
Speaker 7: just come with sand I need to thousand dollars.
39:59
Speaker 2: It's exactly I want to hear it. I want to
40:01
Speaker 2: see it all.
40:02
Speaker 5: That's a good approach say.
40:04
Speaker 2: If it's not on paper, it should be on your mind.
40:05
Speaker 3: A business plan. You should be able to verbalize what
40:08
Speaker 3: your business plan is.
40:09
Speaker 6: But you know growing up that you know when you
40:16
Speaker 6: you set up your production company, but when you were
40:18
Speaker 6: Warner Brothers and had you know, all the the access
40:21
Speaker 6: and all that. People always say, Judge, I got this
40:22
Speaker 6: show for you, I got this, this and that, and
40:25
Speaker 6: the first thing you would say is Okay, email it
40:28
Speaker 6: to me on paper. And I think that that has
40:31
Speaker 6: taught me so much to where when people do tell
40:35
Speaker 6: me their ideas, I'll be okay, put it on paper.
40:37
Speaker 6: Give me an outline right, and then I'm telling you
40:40
Speaker 6: that kno, never.
40:44
Speaker 5: You have.
40:45
Speaker 6: You have so many resources now with with AI and
40:48
Speaker 6: all these things, there's no way you should be asking
40:51
Speaker 6: anyone for anything without a plan.
40:53
Speaker 1: And I believe a lot of folks might not agree
40:58
Speaker 1: with this, and professionals in particular. I have no idea,
41:02
Speaker 1: but I don't think everybody can be entrepreneurs.
41:04
Speaker 2: I agree.
41:05
Speaker 1: I think some people are employees, period, because entrepreneur your
41:10
Speaker 1: self driven. You got to get up, You got to
41:13
Speaker 1: do it without anybody asking you to. You got to
41:15
Speaker 1: keep thinking about it and moving forward on it without
41:18
Speaker 1: anybody's breathing down your throat, without any pressure of doing it.
41:22
Speaker 1: You just gotta en Part of that is enjoying what
41:24
Speaker 1: you do. But certainly I think some folks are just employees.
41:28
Speaker 7: Everyone wants to be an entrepreneur, especially in this day
41:30
Speaker 7: and age, our generation. No one I don't want to
41:32
Speaker 7: work for nobody, but it being an entrepreneur is working
41:35
Speaker 7: twenty four to seven and most people don't have that skill.
41:37
Speaker 1: And the good news is the CEO of a fortune
41:42
Speaker 1: five one hundred companies are employees. At the point of
41:48
Speaker 1: it is, there's no downside to being an employee if
41:54
Speaker 1: you excel to the top of your industry or your company.
41:57
Speaker 5: But on the other hand, entrepreneurship.
42:00
Speaker 2: People work hardest working people, right, you.
42:02
Speaker 4: Got to figure everything out. It's troubleshooting twenty four seven.
42:06
Speaker 3: So yes, let's talk about among you all siblings, the
42:10
Speaker 3: late lending and the borrowing of money.
42:13
Speaker 2: How did that work out?
42:14
Speaker 5: Did people pay back? No, I don't think you ever
42:17
Speaker 5: lent anybody money. That's why me.
42:22
Speaker 2: Money mirror money for sure.
42:26
Speaker 3: No.
42:26
Speaker 6: I always that was about ten years ago, and I always
42:28
Speaker 6: paid back.
42:29
Speaker 2: Ten years ago, you still did.
42:31
Speaker 6: I would have never not paid back because Greg and
42:33
Speaker 6: I used to have a system too. We used to
42:35
Speaker 6: send each other money back in the day. We always
42:38
Speaker 6: pay back.
42:38
Speaker 2: You used to pay each other back, but not me.
42:42
Speaker 1: I wonder hundred that was common. The man didn't pay
42:45
Speaker 1: you back, so it.
42:48
Speaker 2: All back when the was in college was the one
42:50
Speaker 2: who called.
42:50
Speaker 5: That's why you didn't get your money back.
42:52
Speaker 6: It's common because we used to get the like I
42:55
Speaker 6: think it was like four hundred dollars a week in college,
42:58
Speaker 6: and that was on a Friday, and.
43:00
Speaker 5: Then by Monday.
43:01
Speaker 6: Yeah, by Monday, you know, I'm seventy five dollars and
43:06
Speaker 6: then you know, I would hit up somebody and be like, hey,
43:08
Speaker 6: can I just get one hundred dollars?
43:10
Speaker 5: I'll pay you back on Friday.
43:12
Speaker 6: And I always pay back because you can't ask again
43:14
Speaker 6: if you don't pay back.
43:16
Speaker 1: Who else has a comment on their sibling before I do?
43:18
Speaker 1: Don't go ahead, Oh mind, this is the funniest story ever.
43:22
Speaker 5: You all know your uncles.
43:24
Speaker 1: And so, and I used to tell them this too.
43:30
Speaker 1: When when mother passed, we're standing around her in the bed.
43:35
Speaker 5: She said her.
43:37
Speaker 1: Last words, very last words, were y'all take care of
43:41
Speaker 1: each other. And I always just tease Steve and Kenny.
43:46
Speaker 1: I said, I'd be damn if.
43:48
Speaker 2: Y'all didn't take that literally, because they.
43:52
Speaker 5: Probably worked after that.
43:54
Speaker 1: They probably worked twenty percent of their life because by
43:57
Speaker 1: the time I became successful, were taking care of I
44:01
Speaker 1: was halfway take care of them. And of course, instead
44:04
Speaker 1: of buying my house because she had passed when we
44:07
Speaker 1: became when we were able to put two niggles together
44:10
Speaker 1: from television, I bought through my house instead. But my
44:14
Speaker 1: point is I always teached them y'all took this literally.
44:19
Speaker 1: She wasn't say be kind each other, look out to
44:24
Speaker 1: each other.
44:26
Speaker 4: And that's funny just how it carried into such a
44:28
Speaker 4: I mean because of the amount of success you experienced,
44:31
Speaker 4: how it did go up to an older age for
44:34
Speaker 4: you because.
44:35
Speaker 1: They were both older than me by the way years
44:38
Speaker 1: and eight years and my oldest fella ron as you know,
44:40
Speaker 1: tea and ten years older than me. Thank goodness, he
44:44
Speaker 1: was able to provide for himself and his family. But
44:46
Speaker 1: I enjoyed providing from my blacka.
44:48
Speaker 4: Mirr was saying, it makes you feel good to be
44:50
Speaker 4: able to help people who you know are trying to
44:53
Speaker 4: do what's right, you know, living a productive and positive life.
44:57
Speaker 2: Like when one person in the family makes it, you know,
44:59
Speaker 2: come from.
45:00
Speaker 7: The black community, does that mean everyone should make it
45:04
Speaker 7: or does that mean you share you share with everyone,
45:09
Speaker 7: you know, it's kind of it's kind of hard when
45:10
Speaker 7: everyone because people may start chewing you differently, may start
45:13
Speaker 7: talking about you.
45:14
Speaker 2: You know, when there's one you.
45:15
Speaker 7: Talk to makes so much wealth compared to the rest
45:19
Speaker 7: of the family, or the first person to make that
45:21
Speaker 7: much wealth in the family, you know, it's it's hard.
45:24
Speaker 1: Like this has been my approach one family and close friends.
45:30
Speaker 5: I'll give you half of what you asked for.
45:34
Speaker 1: Now with regard to strangers actioning for money, it's going
45:40
Speaker 1: to be no. If it's regarding someone who is not
45:45
Speaker 1: in the immediate family, meaning my brothers or you all,
45:48
Speaker 1: or what have you that make you earn it. As
45:52
Speaker 1: you all know, my two best friends who have received
45:56
Speaker 1: money from me over the years have earned every dime.
46:01
Speaker 1: And those are my two best friends. Have earned every dime.
46:05
Speaker 5: But made careers out of it.
46:06
Speaker 4: More importantly, and I see them in their thriving, I believe,
46:10
Speaker 4: much more than they would be if you.
46:12
Speaker 1: Were just And they both came from prison. How about that?
46:16
Speaker 1: There you go, it was after leaving prison.
46:18
Speaker 6: And mim, what's your view on that? Because I know
46:20
Speaker 6: that you have a little bit, you're a little bit
46:21
Speaker 6: more you you you have, it's easier for you to
46:26
Speaker 6: say no, that's good, great.
46:31
Speaker 5: I don't.
46:33
Speaker 3: I think my husband thinks I'm selfish asking for money
46:39
Speaker 3: because I always say that why us, Why are you
46:44
Speaker 3: coming to me? As opposed to if it's a distant relative,
46:48
Speaker 3: you got many relatives to go.
46:49
Speaker 2: To, or if it's a close friend.
46:51
Speaker 3: I don't have many close friends that used to they
46:55
Speaker 3: come to me for money, which is a good thing,
46:57
Speaker 3: because I think sometimes that can ruin a friendship. So
47:00
Speaker 3: again I go back to if you ask me for something,
47:03
Speaker 3: if I can afford to lend it to you, I'm
47:07
Speaker 3: gonna let you believe that it's alone. But more than likely,
47:10
Speaker 3: I'm going to say, worry about.
47:12
Speaker 7: But I will say too, Mom, growing up, I mean
47:15
Speaker 7: you had back in Michigan, he had your five day
47:17
Speaker 7: care centers, and he had your sisters working there. You
47:20
Speaker 7: had your best friend center. So you also you know
47:27
Speaker 7: which is great member are working for.
47:30
Speaker 3: We talked about being most definitely it's a great thing,
47:32
Speaker 3: and you employed them.
47:33
Speaker 2: But that doesn't stop people from asking you for money. No, no,
47:36
Speaker 2: for sure, especially when you have.
47:37
Speaker 3: A business that appears to be thriving, you have a
47:41
Speaker 3: husband who appears to be thriving.
47:44
Speaker 2: Oh no, you're gonna get people coming at you for money.
47:46
Speaker 4: Not for sure, though that you were in a position where,
47:50
Speaker 4: like I even said with dadd because I didn't think
47:52
Speaker 4: about that with you, you put your friends in positions
47:55
Speaker 4: to thrive.
47:56
Speaker 5: Ms Collins started at the center.
47:57
Speaker 4: I think I went to a full career as which
48:01
Speaker 4: is you know, but most definitely.
48:02
Speaker 3: But like I said, it doesn't prevent people from asking
48:05
Speaker 3: for money, because you know, you have people who ask
48:07
Speaker 3: who ask for money.
48:09
Speaker 2: You say you're gonna.
48:09
Speaker 3: Work every single day, you gotta check out every week,
48:12
Speaker 3: and they still might come to you asking for money.
48:15
Speaker 5: No, for sure, you're looking at me. Depends on.
48:19
Speaker 1: Who it is they get a lecture from me, just
48:23
Speaker 1: get the money. But about that twenty percent. If you've
48:27
Speaker 1: just been coming back and you can we're close enough.
48:30
Speaker 1: Put it that way. I gotta be kind of close
48:32
Speaker 1: enough to you to give you a lecture.
48:34
Speaker 5: But if I'm not, I ain't giving you the money.
48:36
Speaker 5: But do you really think that lecture is a deterrent? Yes? Absolutely, absolutely, Yeah,
48:42
Speaker 5: I don't.
48:44
Speaker 2: It all depends on the personality of a person.
48:47
Speaker 3: Some people will let you talk and let you talk
48:49
Speaker 3: and won't care at all.
48:50
Speaker 5: Say, well, I don't because I know some people. Me
48:54
Speaker 5: I would be like, Okay, I'm gonna sit here.
48:56
Speaker 4: He gonna talk a little bit and say whatever he
48:58
Speaker 4: gotta say, but I'm gonna get that money.
49:01
Speaker 5: People don't I believe.
49:03
Speaker 2: That about it.
49:05
Speaker 4: I think I'm coming to you for say twenty five
49:08
Speaker 4: hundred dollars, me listening to your lecture for fifteen to
49:12
Speaker 4: twenty minutes.
49:12
Speaker 5: You can go for two hours. Still you have no.
49:15
Speaker 1: Pride in bigness, I feel a way more an hour
49:18
Speaker 1: make hourly and any cho.
49:26
Speaker 5: Work hour.
49:30
Speaker 3: A thousand dollars an hours can some thousands of dollars.
49:35
Speaker 5: That's true. I never knowd to trifling, so I've never.
49:38
Speaker 2: Moved you at that's hilarious. I don't agree with that.
49:42
Speaker 3: I don't think the electure to terrorist people if they're
49:45
Speaker 3: coming back after the first time, if you coming back
49:48
Speaker 3: on the second time, that lecture didn't mean anything, because,
49:52
Speaker 3: like I say, sometimes you do have to ask a
49:53
Speaker 3: person will what's going on in your life? Why don't
49:58
Speaker 3: you have enough money to survive if you're working every day?
50:00
Speaker 1: And I remember specifically who helped me and who didn't,
50:04
Speaker 1: and is buryed at the front of my mind because
50:06
Speaker 1: my mom dad seventeen, ain't nobody went to college, et cetera,
50:10
Speaker 1: And ethel gave me one hundred dollars she was retired
50:13
Speaker 1: senior citizen. I remember that. My best friend's parents, who
50:17
Speaker 1: worked at the factory, gave me a card. I remember that.
50:21
Speaker 1: And no one else gave me a dime in college
50:25
Speaker 1: my entire life up and.
50:27
Speaker 2: About that loan.
50:28
Speaker 5: He forgot about that loan. You and I don't exchange loans.
50:35
Speaker 2: You are, my boy. He forgot about that.
50:41
Speaker 3: Remember that's why all this is here now at.
50:45
Speaker 2: That time, twelve hundred dollars loan as a lot.
50:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh yeah, I forgot that.
51:06
Speaker 1: You definitely got that bad triple my money. Let's move
51:14
Speaker 1: right along. Let's not move is a loan about? How
51:19
Speaker 1: did I triple my money off twelve?
51:21
Speaker 5: What was the loan? Move right along?
51:27
Speaker 1: So Choice calls me the undertaker if we talk about
51:36
Speaker 1: what things you should and shouldn't do. Of course we
51:39
Speaker 1: helped with scholarships and we got the community center. But
51:42
Speaker 1: he calls me the undertaker because everyone that has a
51:46
Speaker 1: love one that dies, and I know they don't have
51:49
Speaker 1: to ask me for a dime some reason, I just
51:52
Speaker 1: give him some money. Most folks have been very poor.
51:55
Speaker 1: I'll get paid for the whole funeral, and choices like why.
52:00
Speaker 5: Do you do that?
52:02
Speaker 2: Why do you think?
52:03
Speaker 1: He said, I've never understood the connection between someone dying
52:08
Speaker 1: and you giving them money even though they didn't asked
52:11
Speaker 1: for it, because I just think they wouldn't have this
52:17
Speaker 1: great a burial, particularly a what do you call those
52:21
Speaker 1: after repass? I'm typically paying for repast I do do.
52:25
Speaker 5: That's what I do. He's for the repast.
52:28
Speaker 2: That's that's in the South.
52:31
Speaker 3: That's what they said, Drew when person died, they brought
52:33
Speaker 3: money to the funeral, not flowers and all that stuff,
52:36
Speaker 3: they brought money.
52:37
Speaker 5: You know, I didn't know that.
52:39
Speaker 7: See for the family, I can see that, and I'm
52:41
Speaker 7: sure that's very helpful forever, because I mean that's people
52:43
Speaker 7: think about when someone died, just like how are you
52:45
Speaker 7: gonna pay for you know, the funeral before they even
52:47
Speaker 7: can more and they have to try to start pailing
52:49
Speaker 7: and financial barriers.
52:51
Speaker 6: And so, you know, from everything we talked about, let's
52:54
Speaker 6: create a family code that you should have when helping
52:59
Speaker 6: friends and family me out with money and.
53:01
Speaker 5: Things like that, the Maths family Code.
53:03
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know we all said our hold y'all to this.
53:06
Speaker 6: All right, all right, let's do it. So I have mine,
53:09
Speaker 6: which is you know we talked about repeated help needs
53:13
Speaker 6: a plan. I'm all about you know, if you need help,
53:16
Speaker 6: have a plan, have an outline, have a draft, have
53:19
Speaker 6: a you know, anything that can that's written down so
53:23
Speaker 6: you believe in it and you stick to it. Repeat it.
53:25
Speaker 5: Help needs a plan? What about you? Greg?
53:28
Speaker 4: The thing for me is that like if you're helping somebody,
53:31
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be humiliating them, Like I would not give
53:34
Speaker 4: money to a person if I knew that I would
53:36
Speaker 4: want it back or couldn't stomach it myself, and that
53:40
Speaker 4: would and it didn't make me feel good, or I
53:41
Speaker 4: couldn't afford to do it. So it's like, if you're
53:44
Speaker 4: helping somebody, like that's it. You can't follow them around
53:47
Speaker 4: humiliating them and asking for the money back, and you know,
53:51
Speaker 4: kind of ruining their life because you decided to give
53:54
Speaker 4: money and then you feel bad or looking at how
53:57
Speaker 4: they're living.
53:58
Speaker 5: To then determine, after.
53:59
Speaker 4: You've already given the money, how much money you old people,
54:02
Speaker 4: I owt nobody nothing.
54:04
Speaker 5: A lot of people when they ask for their money back,
54:15
Speaker 5: what do you say, Mama?
54:16
Speaker 3: I think you need to decide whether it's a gift
54:19
Speaker 3: or a loan and leave it at that. And you
54:21
Speaker 3: can afford to give a gift, give a gift.
54:25
Speaker 1: Mine is always a gift, and that gift is always
54:28
Speaker 1: half of the amount requested for a loan. Any time
54:32
Speaker 1: it comes to me for a loan, I ain't falling
54:35
Speaker 1: out with you. Let me give you half of what
54:37
Speaker 1: you're asking for.
54:39
Speaker 5: And you can't be mad.
54:40
Speaker 2: You to be mad with a person to give you half.
54:44
Speaker 1: And if it's a bill, you gotta show me pretty much, Almo,
54:48
Speaker 1: you gotta show me some cutoff notices or some lean notices.
54:53
Speaker 1: And then I'm paying the folks directly. I'm paying the
54:56
Speaker 1: phone bill directly. I'm paying the light bills directly. Everybody
55:00
Speaker 1: gets direct I ain't got nothing in your hand. I
55:03
Speaker 1: don't know whether you're on crack hair around.
55:07
Speaker 2: Skills.
55:08
Speaker 3: So when it comes to a person who has to
55:10
Speaker 3: pay to be, it comes to me, so and so
55:14
Speaker 3: is this? Can you send this right to the I
55:17
Speaker 3: have to go through all this and find out the
55:18
Speaker 3: electrical story.
55:19
Speaker 7: That's mine is saying no should still feel like love.
55:26
Speaker 7: It can still come from a loving place. You don't
55:28
Speaker 7: have to say it and you know the.
55:29
Speaker 2: Meaning way, or like judge, a judgmental way. It can
55:33
Speaker 2: come with no.
55:34
Speaker 7: But I have these other options. I can help you
55:35
Speaker 7: this way, like you know, let's figure out some skills.
55:38
Speaker 7: I can help you try to make some money. I
55:40
Speaker 7: can give you some ideas. I can readew some agreements
55:43
Speaker 7: for you. I can help you in other ways. But
55:46
Speaker 7: I'm still I still love you. I can't give you money.
55:48
Speaker 1: Hold y'all to it, and don't y'all ask me for
55:50
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars and thinking that you're gonna get.
55:53
Speaker 3: Five hundred, so I need two thousands. So I'm gonna
55:57
Speaker 3: ask you for both out. Yes, I'm gonna ask you
56:01
Speaker 3: for our four thousand. I'll get my two thousand.
56:04
Speaker 2: You didn't give away.
56:06
Speaker 5: All tactics on this podcast. Everybody knows now to look
56:10
Speaker 5: forward with you.
56:10
Speaker 3: He give everybody money, get twenty five thousand, and it's
56:18
Speaker 3: always a gift, always a gift.
56:20
Speaker 5: Right.
56:21
Speaker 2: You don't have to pay it back.
56:24
Speaker 5: Exactly. That's what I'm gonna do. He said, he's gonna
56:26
Speaker 5: pay it. I'm not paying my mortgage. I'm gonna I'm
56:29
Speaker 5: a second. You help me with this mortgage. House, Always
56:34
Speaker 5: help me.
56:34
Speaker 2: You always help his children.
56:36
Speaker 4: You got it.
56:37
Speaker 2: Made I ask for more, ask for double than what
56:41
Speaker 2: you need.
56:42
Speaker 5: Go on that trip after all.
56:45
Speaker 2: Thank you folks for listening to The Mathis Family Talks.
56:49
Speaker 2: We're gonna sign off right now.
56:51
Speaker 3: Please subscribe, like and comment, subscribe, like, a comment, and
56:57
Speaker 3: make sure you tune in next week.
56:59
Speaker 2: Let's take it over to the Mathis Verdict.
57:02
Speaker 1: Today we talked about loaning or giving money to family, friends,
57:06
Speaker 1: and loved ones. Well, there are a variety of opinions,
57:10
Speaker 1: but let me tell you how I feel. I believe
57:13
Speaker 1: that with the circumstances that African Americans face, we have
57:18
Speaker 1: the highest level of poverty in America. We have the
57:22
Speaker 1: highest amount of financial illiteracy, and as a result, we
57:28
Speaker 1: have less money in our families and in our communities.
57:31
Speaker 1: And as a result, those who do have a higher
57:35
Speaker 1: responsibility in my opinion, to help those who do not.
57:39
Speaker 1: Based on the economic and social oppression that we have
57:43
Speaker 1: suffered for centuries, we got to help each other. One
57:47
Speaker 1: has to pull the other up and be careful about that.
57:51
Speaker 1: Though you don't want to enable folks to avoid doing
57:54
Speaker 1: for themselves. I always like to say, I'd give your
57:58
Speaker 1: fishing rod before I give you fish, so that you
58:01
Speaker 1: can go ahead and go fishing and eat for yourself.
58:04
Speaker 5: And that's my verdict.