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Building a Purposeful Business and Life with Holly Hurd · Building the Best You

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Building the Best You, a destination for you to reimagine what is possible in your life and then create it.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the show, everybody.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Gene Collins, and today we're going to talk about something that I am pretty passionate about.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's about trying to help women live more fulfilling lives.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: And we are going to do that today with Holly Hurd, who is the founder of venturemom.com.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And she has two books out.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am so excited to talk about her books.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: One has just recently come out, and I'm going to read it.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say it wrong.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: The life-changing power of one question.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that really resonates with me because I personally did have one question that changed my life.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, Holly, I am so excited to have you on the show.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's great to meet you and great to be here.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, thank you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we happen to live really close to each other.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we are enjoying a nice spring day today where I think it's almost 70 degrees outside, which after the winter we've had here in Connecticut is really like a breath of fresh air.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Finally, it's awesome.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Renewal, right?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's time.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: We need spring.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: We need a sort of an energized vitamin D.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Vitamin D is good for everybody, and we haven't had enough of it.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So before we get into your business, your books, your website, your services, you speak, you do all kinds of things.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to share a little bit of background about you and how you became an entrepreneur.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been an entrepreneur my entire life.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've never worked for anyone else.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: My kids like to tell me, I don't know what PTO is.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently, it's personal time off.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think I had 36 hours off to have each of my children.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I like to remind them of that.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I grew up trading commodities.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I started trading commodities.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: My father was a trader.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And after school, when I was 12, I would have to come home and help him keep his charts.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And back then it was on a ticker tape or a computer, and I would hand draw his charts for him.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I did that all through high school and through college.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was a requirement that we go to college before we go into the family business.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: But after college, I started trading my own account.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I gained some notoriety because I entered a trading championship in Barron's magazine, Barron's newspaper, which was a finance paper.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I won the championship.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I got a lot of clients and I got a lot of notoriety.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I had a technique that I was known for and I started speaking around the country.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was one of two women in the field of trading commodities.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I was in my early 20s speaking on the Dais with men who were in their 50s.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was quite interesting.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was very shy and very nervous.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: But that was my, that was my field my whole life.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I did blow up my business.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I managed other people's money in 87, the 87 crash.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I lost my entire business.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I took a few years.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I took some acting classes and some speaking classes so that I could come out of my shell and be more present and be able to share my ideas in public.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started a new trading company in 91, built it up, and then we sold our algorithmic technology in 2002.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I became a real estate broker, which is really, you know, you are working for yourself.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been doing real estate for 25 years, and I I do love it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's my, you know, it's my it's my jam.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: But VentureMom, I'm sure you want to hear about Venture Mom.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I do, yes.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I was doing real estate, but I I love motivational books.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: My father always shared motivational books with me.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I decided I was going to write my own motivational book, 10 Ways to Find Your Fulfillment.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I started looking around my world.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had young children at the time, and I asked myself, who is fulfilled?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Who seems fulfilled in my world?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the women who were fulfilled, they all had children, but they had these ventures.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Either they were starting a foundation or they were learning how to snowboard or they were starting a business.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And many of them were starting small businesses, whether it was they're going to sell blankets or they're going to offer dog training classes or organize your bookcases.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was interviewing them to put them in this book, 10 Ways to Find Your Fulfillment.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I started calling them moms with ventures.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So they were venture moms, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't have a publisher.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: No one would really talk to me.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: They basically said, you don't have a platform, you don't have a following.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I decided blogging was the way for me to build a platform.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote my first blog about a woman, a venture mom.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it took me two weeks to hit the send button.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was super scared.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, who's going to read it?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Who's going to, you know, criticize me?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a trader.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: I am not a writer.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I eventually hit the send button.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had the idea that I would do one a month.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I got so many calls.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, you need to talk to my sister, my neighbor, my cousin, my daughter.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: She's a venture mom, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how venture mom started back in 2010.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that because I interview a lot of entrepreneurs.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times the businesses that they grow happen almost by accident, not intentionally.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And what I find so ironic about that first book of yours, Venture Moms from Idea to Income in Just 12 Weeks, is that it kind of follows along with that.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Ideas that we have for a business aren't necessarily, it's not always that we wake up one day and say, Oh, I'm going to go do that.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, how did this venture mom concept be all of a sudden really become a published book?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I have been doing it for about 10 years.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a bit of a venture detective.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be at a cocktail party and I'll be chatting with a woman and I'll say, Well, what are you up to?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, Oh my gosh, I'm making these spice pecans.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, everyone can't wait to have them for Christmas.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I put them in a little bag and I deliver them to all my friends and family.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and some people ask me to make them for them to share.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I can't help myself.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Some people find it annoying.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I say, oh my God, that's a business.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You should name it.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: You should set up a website.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: You should start making batches.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Then you should go to the farmers market.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then you should go to the local markets.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I can find a business out of anyone.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people come to me and say, I don't have a business.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have actually a list of questions that I give them to determine whether it's what they're good at, what did you used to do when you were younger that you want to go back to?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing when you lose track of time?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: What is the thing that makes you feel really fulfilled?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for some people, that's gardening, cooking.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not a homemaker myself.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's not my jam.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I like building businesses.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when I chat with someone, I naturally determine how they're going to start their own business.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Which I love that because I have to say, I know a lot of people who say, I would love to have my own business, just because the concept of the empowerment of having their own business.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times it happens, I'm 55.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of it happens at this stage of life where people are tired of what they've been doing and the rat race of that and feeling like it's a new stage, it's a new season.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: But so many, I hear people say all the time, but I don't know what I'm good at, or I don't know what I could do.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's so interesting that you really do try to help people figure that out for themselves.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I have this thing called venture hour, where I give you the list of questions and then we chat for an hour, and I almost guarantee you I can come up with your business within an hour.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's really powerful.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of the women, I've profiled probably now over 500 women.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And to your point, so many of them just fell into their business.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was something they were already doing.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: They just weren't quite organized at how to offer it.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Or what it really is and how to package it.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: That is so interesting.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I love how you say at a cocktail party, you might be the annoying person.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I personally would be like, oh, yay, I'm so excited that you want to talk about that instead of some of the other like completely mundane things that people want to talk about at a business party.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I would think you naturally attract people into your ecosystem and into your universe that are interested in that next step.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, definitely.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I just find it like that's my jam.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: New businesses, small businesses.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of my venture moms have gone on to national companies.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I also like to dig into national companies and go back to the beginning.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like you look at someone like the woman who started Quince and now she has Oak Essentials, her beauty line.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, she started online with just a small business and she's grown to an international sensation, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I do like to dig into how some of the bigger players, women, I do women entrepreneurs, how they got started.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we also have the unique perspective that we have children.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, being a venture mom doesn't mean you have children, because I shifted away from that as my children grew.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns out your business is really your baby.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because anyone who starts a business and puts it out in the world really feels, oh my God, this is my baby that I'm sharing with the world and asking people to pay me something for whatever it is I'm offering.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And whether it's$5 or$5,000, the fact that someone is paying you for something you're offering is incredibly satisfying, empowering, and fulfilling.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I have a question.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because this comes up a lot in an entrepreneurial space.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Do these women have a hard time charging money for something that to them feels pretty easy to do?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is a huge thing.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And in my first book, Venture Mom from Idea to Income, I have a chapter on pricing.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you, men have no issue saying, This is what I charge, pay me now.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say to someone, if you're walking into their house and you're going to train their dog, be very clear.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I will spend two hours with your dog.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I charge$250.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I have a minimum of three sessions.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I expect 50% up front.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here is my invoice.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Before we get started, please Venmo me 50%.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: That is so hard for women to say.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we we have a hard time owning our worth.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: To your point about maybe gardening or cooking, I I can't garden.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: I can't.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: That is, I'm not a gardener, but I have friends who are amazing gardeners.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I sort of say, you know, actually, I was on a trip recently with a gal and her skill is table settings.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I can throw a couple plates out and some napkins.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I was chatting with her and I said, you know, if I were having a dinner party, would you come over to my house and use what I have in my house and set my table?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you could add a few things or maybe go buy the flowers.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I can't, I don't know how to do anything with flowers.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, Of course.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you know how to do that?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just use, I'm like, no, I don't.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: You don't realize that you have a very valuable skill that people will pay you for.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: All you have to do is package it and advertise it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so she is going to pursue that business.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, that's a great business.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: That is tabletop is huge, by the way.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's especially where we live.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Tabletop and entertaining is huge.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it is an art, being that I'm an interior designer.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: There is a hundred percent an art to tabletop design.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it is not surprising that a lot of people don't know how to do it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just like floral design, there is an art to that.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so as you're talking about this woman and what she can do, I'm thinking to myself, of course, that's a brilliant business idea.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I totally see it.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's pretty close to my heart.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: But she loves it, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: She loves doing it.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: She could do it all day long.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: So when you love something and you're really passionate about it, you do it really well.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can't like if I decided to start a tabletop business, it would crash and burn because it's not what I like to do, it's not what I'm good at.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not my thing.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be unhappy doing that.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: So how do you help people with, because I've been part of lots of different coaching cohorts and lots of different women, entrepreneurial groups, and things.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the concept of our worthiness, and you know, you reiterated a very common statistic, which I've heard many times before, that men have absolutely no problem charging for something, take it or leave it.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And women tend to put out a price for something and then put a butt after it.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a career coach who was like, no, no, no, it you don't put a butt after it.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's this is the price.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And she always used to call it please pass the salt.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so learning how to put that price out there and then say please pass the salt as a way to teach yourself to stop with that, you know, but if that's too much for you, I could hear it back, right?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's kind of like we put the price out there and then we kind of like put the butt after it.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of women do.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do you help women, if they come to you for help trying to start a business?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: How do you help women deal with that, which is super common?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just I'm not a coach.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: I am not a coach.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I that's not my jam.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna hold you accountable.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna coach you through things.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I would say, you know, read my book, come listen to me speak, because I realized that about myself long ago, that, you know, if somebody wanted me to help them start a business that I really believed in and we were going to be in it together, I would join forces and help them.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or if someone wanted me to consult with them on a business that, yes, and I would ask to be paid because my knowledge is valuable in guiding them in how to come up with a name, how to promote.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that would be more of a consulting situation.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm I don't have coaching classes.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't put myself out as a coach.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will say this: I am working on a class that people could purchase that goes through the 12 chapters of my book because I feel like they can read the book, but maybe they need to hear my voice or hear more examples.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it would be, you know, a one-time purchase, and they would be able to hear me explain each chapter to guide them through the book.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: That would be probably what I would offer to help women start businesses.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: The other reason I started Venture Mom was to lead by example.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if I profile a woman in Massachusetts who has started a manners class for children, right?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I share her information, her website, everything.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the woman down in Savannah reads the story about the woman in Massachusetts and says, huh, I sort of have my neighborhood kids over and I'm trying to teach my kids manners.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: But look at this woman in Massachusetts.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: She started a manners class and she's charging for it, and that's her side gig.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can do the same.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was the theory behind VentureMom, is that I would share examples for people in other places to see how they did it.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which is really powerful.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: We do that a lot on this podcast, is about sharing people's stories of how they became entrepreneurs.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't want to move past it without repeating something that you said that I think is super important, especially for people who are entrepreneurs, whether they're just starting out or they're already in a business.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: When I asked a question that was outside of the lane of your expertise, you've said this twice.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so powerful for you to know what your lane is, and you very clearly know what your business is, what your lane is, what you want to do in your lane, and what your mission is.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is so important.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you are definitely leading by example in that sense because so many people want to be everything to everybody, especially women.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: We kind of want to like do it all.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so, really, as you're starting to think about a business, whether it's how the business is going to expand or what business you're going to go into, understanding your lane, which is just like understanding your target audience.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And the more you figure out what that is, the more helpful it will be.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I thank you for using yourself as an example for that.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that brings up my second book, The Life-Ching Power of One Question.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And to your point, at our age now, we are most, most of us are at an inflection point.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've spent the last 30 years taking care of houses, dogs, you know, partners, everything and everybody else.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's our turn to really look inside and say, who am I now?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And these are some of the questions that I deal with in my book.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I now?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, maybe you you were taking care of your parents and they've moved on.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you had a pet that passed.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe now your kids, I mean, you never really stopped taking care of them, but maybe they have partners now and your role is less.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you have more time.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I meet so many women who say, Oh, I don't know what to do.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I have a lot of free time.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: What am what am I going to do?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you've lost a partner by choice or not by choice.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But so in the book, I take you, it's time for you to be introspective and say, okay, who am I now?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm a single person with three children, you know, and a dog.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: My parents have moved on.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So who am I now?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's who am I now?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Who do I want to be?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: The jump from who am I now to who do I want to be is where all the questions come in.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: What do I like to do?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Who do I like to be with?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do I like to be with animals, children, adults in front of my computer, you know, at a at a workspace where people are coming and going?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Answering those questions is really going to guide you to the life that you want to create.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I think is so interesting about what you're talking about, about the different stages, and I see this, and I'm curious if you see this as well with women, is trying to understand.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Understand their identity now.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: And because you talk about like where you are and then where do you want to go?
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think part of that as women, getting comfortable with your identity before, your identity now, and the identity that you are seeking in the future.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Do you see that coming up with women as well?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, absolutely.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's that was the whole point of my book, is that we we're always changing.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: And outside forces change us.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids get older, our parents leave us, maybe we move homes, or or our partner takes us to another city, or we have an injury and we can't play tennis anymore, or we can't even walk anymore.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got to find a new life, basically, new things that are going to bring you fulfillment.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Our identity is going to change.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: We have to find a way to manage that in a in a fulfilling way and find fulfillment.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I have, I believe in people, purpose, and pursuits.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: So people are so important.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of my book talks about all of the studies that have been done on connection.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if you connect, you can try it.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you connect with people everywhere, every day, whether it's, you know, when you're filling up your gas tank and you see the other person, it can be about the weather.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: It can be about anything, but it makes your day better.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you happier to say hello to someone.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you're picking up your groceries, chat with the grocery woman.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, say, I like your nails, or that's a warm sweater, or you need that today.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: It just creates a better, happier life, a better, happier world.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the world right now is it's such we have an epidemic of loneliness right now.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And connecting is so important.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And do an experiment.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do a day where you connect with a bunch of people as you go out and about to your day.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do a day where you don't and see the difference in how you feel.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I use questions.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's the life-changing power of one question is asking someone a question.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: How was your day today?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or, and it can be a rhetorical question.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it is pouring out there.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, it is.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're not just there to pick up your coffee or your groceries.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: You want to engage with someone.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second P is your purpose.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a lot of questions in the book, such as, am I going to take this terrible thing that happened to me and turn it into a force for good?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are people who've gone through horrible things.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've met people who've lost their children through, you know, an overdose.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And now they go around the country and educate other parents on what to look for.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's a woman who had a horrible delivery, and now she has a foundation.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of her name right now.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: She's married to an actor, Ed Burns' wife.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Ed Burns' wife had a very difficult delivery, and she started a foundation called Every Mother Counts.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, another woman is taking leftover food from the restaurants in Boston and redistributing them.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be something as big as a national organization.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: It could be something simple.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: I knew one woman who was a big runner.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow she got involved with the local women's prison and realized that a lot of the women there didn't have running shoes.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: So she went on a mission to collect new and used running shoes and distribute them to the prison and offer a running program to the female prisoners.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that was just one thing that she did.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that kind of something that is meaningful to you, that makes a difference in your life and other people's lives, that would be your purpose.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your pursuits are mahjong, tennis, walking.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, those are really important for women.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Women love to connect.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: Women love to chat and share stories and commiserate and enjoy time together.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you have, you know, something wrapped around gathering women, it gives you such fulfillment, whether it's, you know, a card game or mahjong game, or maybe it's a running group or a gardening group, or, you know, you go to the theater once a month.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you your family, your, because I think as we get older, our families, our groups shrink a bit because our children are finding their mates, our parents may be moving on.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we have a group of friends and they're moving to another location.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: You have to replace those people with people that you enjoy and want to be with.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to be your best friend.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: It could be, you know, the woman that you do a yoga class that you see once a week, you know, you just know her through yoga, but it's a wonderful connection.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and the other thing that I think is so important about that, just when you're talking about overall women's health, is it's incredibly important to keep your mind, body, spirit active.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so all of those pursuits are ways for you to get out of the house, meet new people, challenge your brain, be active.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: And all of that, the benefit, in addition to everything that you talked about, is also for women's health.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's really important to go learn something new and getting women to recognize how important and exciting and invigorating it can be to learn something new.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: I consider my underlying job is my health.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: So whether that's lifting weights, going on a walk, doing a yoga or a stretch or a meditation, once you're over 50, you really need to focus on your health for longevity and better life, not just a longer life, but a healthier life when you're older.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I wonder, we talk about fulfillment, right?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so you and I have pretty clear definitions of what fulfillment looks like for us personally, having spent a lot of time working in that space.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: But do you ever see people say to you, I don't know what it feels like to be fulfilled?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I meet them often.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like saying, it's in your hands.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Everything you need to be fulfilled, you have right now.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not when you lose weight, when you grow your hair out, when you find the right shirt, or you know, that's not.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's right now.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it becomes a mindset of accepting where you are now and knowing it can only get better, but it's in your hands.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: So pursue that.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I have a part of the book that talks about habit.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll give you a simple example and then how you can translate that to being more fulfilled.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I love candy, and Tootsie Rolls and Caramels are my jam.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm going about my day and I'm getting ready to get in my car.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I noticed I would grab a handful of candy, and I would get in my car, and I'd eat my candy while I'm driving.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I started thinking, oh my goodness, look at how much candy I'm eating all day, right?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, that is that is not a good habit.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a healthy person.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I am a healthy person.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: I am now, with everything I have, a healthy person.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: So a healthy person would not eat a handful of candy all day.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I started saying that over and over again in my mind.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I'm going to replace the candy with water.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I said, when I come to a stoplight, I'm thirsty.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: I am thirsty.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you say it in the current tense.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a healthy person.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: So a healthy person drinks water all day, doesn't eat candy in the car.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: So over time, I ingrained that.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing if you said, I'm a dentist dream.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: I take great care of my teeth, I floss every night, I use a water pick like my dental hygienist told me to.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: I am a dentist dream.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to be a fulfilled person or a happy person, I really believe in mantras and, you know, believing something so strongly.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: What does a happy person do?
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: A happy person gets together with her friend for coffee.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: A happy person joins a Mahjong group.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: A happy person gets out in nature and walks every day.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I find it a mindset and a habit-forming pursuit to find your fulfillment.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, which is so true.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: And also I love what you said about, and I talk about this all the time, it's finding peace with the present is part of that and part of what you were talking about, is finding peace with the present.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the greatest ways to find peace with the present is to make your present reality, even if you don't fully feel it yet, that state that you're looking for, make it in the present, which is the power of the I am statements.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's acting as if it's already happened and you've already created it.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then over time you can convince your brain actually that it has happened because your brain doesn't know the difference between those two, whether it has or it hasn't, or it is or it is not.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think the power in also recognizing the present and the good of the present and what is in our control in the present also really helps people feel more fulfilled in life, for sure.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there will be some things that you can't control.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: And some terrible things will happen, but then you ask yourself how can I take this terrible thing that happened to me and use it for good or use it in a way that moves me forward.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying it's always easy, it's not.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's some real tragedies, but I think that if you want the fulfillment and are willing to go get it, it's there for you.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's there for you right now.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which is so powerful.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Has anyone ever asked you a question that you've been sort of like stumped by and been like, oh wow, the power of one question.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's a question that, wow, I hadn't actually thought of, or really makes you pause and think in life.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: Has that ever happened to you?
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, sure.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, it might be something, well, what if you what if you had taken that different path?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I do believe you are where you're supposed to be.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: And thinking of a different path doesn't help you.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't help you, that's really going back in time.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: The idea is to go forward.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: When when I hit a stumbling block, or, you know, I have a down day, I'm like, okay, what's bothering me?
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one thing that I'm working on is listening to your own thoughts.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you observe.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say there's a situation that always triggers you and upsets you.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you make a conscious decision to, okay, I'm going to go in that situation.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to observe, observe how I feel, what's making me feel that way, that this situation.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm going to have the power in how I respond.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And there are a lot of podcasters and writers right now, Jefferson Fisher, you know, Mel Robinson let them, and a lot of podcasters like that.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what they're really saying is own your power.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: You have the power to, you have the power in how you respond to anything.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can't control how other people respond or act or what they say or do, but you do have the power over how you respond.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're observing what's coming at you and how you want to respond, take a moment and know I have the power and how I respond.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: What is going to make me, how do I want to respond?
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: And how do without, you know, you want to have compassion.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I have observation, compassion on what's happening, and then power.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: You respond with your power in a compassionate way.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, yes.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: And having empathy is super important.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: And also, I would say one of the questions I know I personally ask myself a lot when I go through that exercise that you just said is how much does it really matter?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: Does me bring up that thing that has triggered me that's causing me to like be in a tizzy or whatever?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how important is it really on the big picture of life and the overall my overall happiness, my overall values, my overall purpose of being on this planet?
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes, if it really matters, then yeah, go all in.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I think so often, if you really can like take a step back, so much of it just doesn't matter.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you don't give that energy and that air, and you give your energy and air to things that do feel much more purposeful for you, that can also help you feel more fulfilled in life.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because some things, you know, my father used to say, This too shall pass.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you look back at things that you worried about two weeks ago and they weren't really that big a deal, and you got through it and it all worked out.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: And where are you putting your energy?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious before we run out of time, you speak a lot.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so is there a common subject or subjects that you are asked to speak about that seems to be of interest to audiences?
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, starting a business, starting a small business, six hours to a side gig.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love giving that talk.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, side hustles are big right now.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I believe you can start a new business in an hour.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm all about let's go.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's why 12 weeks.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's not 12 months.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, you know, I give you a week to come up with your name, a week to brand your business.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I talk about that.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then the life-changing power of one question, which is targeted at, you know, women at inflection points, or even men could read my book, but I speak mostly to women.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: I do speak about, I had an abusive boyfriend in college, much like Yardley Love, the lacrosse player.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a speech on that, which, you know, is really interesting because that defined a lot of who I am and gave me a lot of power in overcoming and stepping away from that.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: So those are my three main topics: owning your power, starting a business, and you know, finding fulfillment through questions.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Which are all fantastic subjects.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's really powerful.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: What's on your bucket list for yourself, personally or professionally, in the future?
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to do a TED talk.
• 40:20
  unknown: Yeah.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to do a TED talk.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: I I that that's on my bucket list.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to do a TED talk.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably would, it would be about my dad.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: He was he was quite an amazing man.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: He um literally was thrown out of his house when he was seven with his brother and sister in the depression.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: He shared shoes with his brother.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: And he built his way up to become a chemical engineer and a successful and wonderful man and father.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, he never complained ever about anything.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, that's a great lesson for so many people.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and hard to do, to be quite honest.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: So especially when life feels heavy, complaining is sort of a norm, I think, of our culture now.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: So that's really powerful.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's interesting.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything that I didn't ask you that you want to be able to communicate?
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: We obviously will put in the show notes your website, how people can follow you on Instagram, how people can, you know, subscribe to your newsletter, all of those things.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: But is there anything I didn't ask you that you think is really important to share about venture moms or about yourself or anything that you want to talk about that we missed?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm always looking for new venture moms to profile.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have a small business and would like to be profiled on Venture Mom, reach out.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm always working on content.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I would love to profile you.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that that's really why I started this is to promote other women.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't charge for it, I don't get paid.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: I do it because I love your story and want to inspire other women, which I love that.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like having a podcast.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: You do it because you love it.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the stories, I don't know about you, but I find the stories really it fuels me, it energizes me to have guests on my show, just like I'm sure it does for you to interview women.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's really like it gives back.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a total mutual thing because you get so much and get so inspired because there's so many incredibly unique stories.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like just even as a host of Pac, I learned something from everyone.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: And do you find that same thing for you?
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's my jam.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking to women.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: I love hearing how they started, how they came up with their name, what their plans are, and how they're going to grow.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: I just, it's, I find it so interesting and so fulfilling.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: I do too.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, one last question before we go.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: I love to obviously your books will be linked in the show notes, but I love to ask guests if there's a book that impacted you personally, professionally that you would recommend the watchers and listeners read.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna, I'm gonna reach back in time, but I know it's still available on Amazon.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's by Barbara DeAngelis.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: 10 Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the cruxes of the book is that you're sent trials and tribulations by the universe to learn something.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: So when you have something horrible happen, say, what am I to learn from this?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I take this?
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: And and what am I going to learn?
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: How am I going to grow from this?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: I just really resonated with that book, and it's still relevant today.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's incredibly relevant.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's always so important to look at what is the universe trying to tell me?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I say all the time to my clients, it's in my TED Talk, it's all about pausing and listening.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the more you can pause and listen to your life and listen to what's going on and what is it trying to tell you, the more you'll learn by listening.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you mentioned doing the same thing as well with awareness.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I thank you so much, Holly, for being a guest.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: I really love what you're doing.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you're featuring all these incredible entrepreneurs and women.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you are trying to empower women to really find their best lives, live their best selves, feel fulfilled.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the concept of the power of one question is so powerful.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm super excited.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to buy your book.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to read it because I'm just so curious.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we will tag it in all the show notes.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I encourage everybody else to check it out too.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: Being on the show.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: So much fun.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: We'll stay in touch for sure.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Building the Best You.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you are ready to take a deeper dive into transforming your life, check out my Empowerment Fundamentals course on my website, houseofgermar.com.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, and I will see you next week with another inspiring guest.