Latest / Voices for Voices® / Private Parts Shouldn't Be Taboo When Teaching Child Safety | Episode 258

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Private Parts Shouldn't Be Taboo When Teaching Child Safety | Episode 258 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, thank you for joining us for another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I am your host, founder and executive director of Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes.
• 0:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We are ecstatic to be where we're at episode-wise over 250 episodes, well on our way to a total of in-studio and out-of-studio episodes totaling at least 300 by the end of calendar year 2025.
• 0:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to thank each and every one of you, if this is your first time tuning in or if you've been with us from the beginning.
• 0:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we, uh, you know we can't do this without your, your love and support.
• 0:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you can give us a thumbs up, subscribe like, share all that good stuff that's free to do and that will help us continue on our uh, on our huge goal of wanting to help 3 billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This episode, like all episodes, are very powerful, important topics and it's great timing for our guest here today.
• 1:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A sexual abuse survivor.
• 1:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A law changer, just like Elliston Berry, with a take it down act that just got signed into law, that take it down law signed by President Trump, making you know, altering photos, putting those up a felony that can be prosecuted as well as Big Tech has 48 hours to take those photos down.
• 2:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And, just like Ellison, our guest, kathy Picard, is a law changer.
• 2:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: She's actually we're just so grateful she's been with people to come forward to talk to their children about their private parts and that you know if somebody, a stranger, is asking and touching them inappropriately, that that's not okay and that is no more evident than in Kathy Picard's book.
• 2:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I Love you so Much that in the previous episode we shared a little bit of that content Books available everywhere episode we we shared a little bit of that content.
• 3:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, books available uh everywhere.
• 3:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, amazon, it's in english, it's in spanish, and we were just so grateful for kathy to join us today.
• 3:15
  Kathy Picard: Thank you for joining us, kathy thank you, thank you, and, like you said, we definitely have a history.
• 3:22
  Kathy Picard: Just we go way back, I think.
• 3:24
  Kathy Picard: Oh my goodness, it must be like at least three, four years.
• 3:28
  Kathy Picard: I think so yeah yeah, so we, we definitely have a history.
• 3:31
  Kathy Picard: Um, that goes to say that this particular topic, sexual abuse, is in the forefront.
• 3:38
  Kathy Picard: It's always been there.
• 3:39
  Kathy Picard: More people are standing up, more people are using their voices, and that's very important to do, because sexual abuse, unfortunately it will never go away.
• 3:50
  Kathy Picard: It's all there.
• 3:52
  Kathy Picard: You're always going to have instances, you're always going to have predators.
• 3:55
  Kathy Picard: You're people that are harming our kids, and we need to give them the voice that they need to be able to say mom, dad, auntie, uncle this is happening to me.
• 4:08
  Kathy Picard: Telling their teacher is very important, not having people shun them away and tell them not to talk about it.
• 4:16
  Kathy Picard: It's too personal.
• 4:17
  Kathy Picard: That little child is going home and being touched inappropriately.
• 4:22
  Kathy Picard: We need to stop that.
• 4:24
  Kathy Picard: The youngest I heard is a two-month-old baby.
• 4:27
  Kathy Picard: It's very scary, it's happening and really we need to help these kids.
• 4:34
  Kathy Picard: I speak not only for the kids, but to helping other survivors, men and women, to use their voice to get the help that they need.
• 4:43
  Kathy Picard: It's not their fault.
• 4:44
  Kathy Picard: They're not alone.
• 4:45
  Kathy Picard: You know.
• 4:47
  Kathy Picard: The best thing to do that I've learned is to talk about it.
• 4:50
  Kathy Picard: Get the counseling that you need, but go, go on living a happy, healthy life because, damn, you deserve it.
• 4:59
  Kathy Picard: You know, everybody deserves to have this in their life and I've been.
• 5:07
  Kathy Picard: My husband calls me a chatty Kathy, so that's fine.
• 5:10
  Kathy Picard: I've been doing this for about 25 years, going out, speaking hospitals, colleges, different organizations for kids, ymca, boys and Girls Club.
• 5:22
  Kathy Picard: As Justin said, I wrote a children's book that he kindly read to you parts of it.
• 5:27
  Kathy Picard: I love you so much that that I ask you to brush your teeth, wear a coat, pay attention to your teacher, not to talk to strangers.
• 5:36
  Kathy Picard: They're all life lessons and why you should do this.
• 5:41
  Kathy Picard: It's so important to read this book to the kids.
• 5:43
  Kathy Picard: It's for two to nine-year-olds, but letting them know one, you're taking the time to read them a book, you're taking that time.
• 5:51
  Kathy Picard: I was never read a children's book.
• 5:53
  Kathy Picard: I was plopped down in front of the TV.
• 5:55
  Kathy Picard: That's one of the reasons why I did write this children's book, besides helping to keep kids safer.
• 6:02
  Kathy Picard: Besides helping to keep kids safer and it's amazing of how many people one of the parts in this book is to keep your private parts private.
• 6:12
  Kathy Picard: I am being told by some schools, some institutions that's too private.
• 6:19
  Kathy Picard: You can't say that.
• 6:20
  Kathy Picard: What is wrong with the words private parts?
• 6:23
  Kathy Picard: They're saying worse words than these.
• 6:26
  Kathy Picard: They're handing out condoms, why can't we say private parts?
• 6:31
  Kathy Picard: What is so wrong with that?
• 6:32
  Kathy Picard: I just don't understand.
• 6:34
  Kathy Picard: That just amazes me, you know.
• 6:38
  Kathy Picard: So I'm glad that I wrote the book.
• 6:40
  Kathy Picard: You know, some schools have said, kathy, if you take that particular page out, we will allow you to come in.
• 6:46
  Kathy Picard: No, I'm not taking that page out, and damn you for not allowing these kids to get this resource in their life.
• 6:56
  Kathy Picard: You know, it's not up to the schools, it's up to the parents.
• 7:00
  Kathy Picard: If the parents chose not to have that child read, be sitting in that particular reading environment, then that's up to the parents.
• 7:08
  Kathy Picard: It's not up to the schools.
• 7:11
  Kathy Picard: And I'm going to keep going until I get into as many schools as possible to give that opportunity to the kids.
• 7:18
  Kathy Picard: The kids love it.
• 7:19
  Kathy Picard: They love seeing my little dog, abby, in there.
• 7:22
  Kathy Picard: She paw signs, the books.
• 7:24
  Kathy Picard: They love that the pages are so colorful.
• 7:28
  Kathy Picard: And you know, I give them toothbrushes, I give them paw stickers.
• 7:31
  Kathy Picard: But it's important to show these kids they are loved.
• 7:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They are being told that I wasn't.
• 7:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, and that's uh, I think that's that's important.
• 7:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It uh, it appears, and we're finding out on other other issues where, uh, you know individual organizations, people, they say they support a topic or a thing For the human trafficking survivors and, with the sexual abuse survivors, any survivor that's gone through trauma that I can't even fathom what you've gone through, or a human trafficking survivor, it really just, it's just crazy to me that people will say, oh, I support you, I support what you're doing, your advocacy, support what you're doing, your advocacy, but then, when it comes down to actual supporting it and stepping forward and saying I stand with Kathy, I stand with David, I stand with Justin and all the Like you said, it's bigger than us.
• 8:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not just for one child, one person.
• 8:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is a public safety concern that we're bringing to the forefront and that's why I love having you on and sharing your story, your message, your advocacy, your book, because it's time to step out of the shadows, it's time to come forward.
• 9:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, it's maybe an uncomfortable topic or subject, but how do you want your children to find out?
• 9:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do you want them to find out from you as a parent, a guardian or, like you mentioned, or do you want them to find out from a teacher, a school being told.
• 9:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's, it's just huge and you know.
• 9:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for everything you have done and you're still continuing to do, because this is a huge problem in society and people like you are giving a voice to the voiceless.
• 9:58
  Kathy Picard: Yeah, and it's.
• 9:59
  Kathy Picard: There are, like you mentioned, there's other people besides us, justin.
• 10:03
  Kathy Picard: There is Enough Abuse campaign.
• 10:05
  Kathy Picard: You know they're wonderful in Boston.
• 10:08
  Kathy Picard: They're working on helping to change the laws.
• 10:10
  Kathy Picard: They're working on extending the timeframe for justice for survivors.
• 10:16
  Kathy Picard: They are working on not passing teachers, school to school, priests, church to church.
• 10:25
  Kathy Picard: They are working on so many bills now that's a no brainer that they need to be passed.
• 10:28
  Kathy Picard: So, right, as we speak, they are working on these bills.
• 10:32
  Kathy Picard: So shout out to Enough Abuse.
• 10:35
  Kathy Picard: Massachusetts Children's Alliance, child Help these are, there's so many.
• 10:40
  Kathy Picard: Even Mariska Haggerty, law and Order.
• 10:43
  Kathy Picard: You know she's got people that contact her that are survivors.
• 10:47
  Kathy Picard: So there are a lot of organizations to particular for men, one in sixorg malesurvivororg.
• 10:55
  Kathy Picard: You know it's just amazing of organizations out there, but we get the bar strapped down in front of us not to go forward and that's wrong.
• 11:05
  Kathy Picard: And you're right.
• 11:06
  Kathy Picard: You know, being a survivor from seven to 17,.
• 11:10
  Kathy Picard: I'm 62, I'm going to be 63 in August, but it's like it doesn't stop.
• 11:16
  Kathy Picard: Yes, I was a quiet, shy child when I was sexually abused, from seven to 1710 years, and people are like, oh my God, 10 years Once is too much, you know, but 10 years of this monster sexually abusing me and it's like people don't realize.
• 11:33
  Kathy Picard: You know he worked for Toys for Tots, he volunteered, he did this, he did that, he was so great.
• 11:38
  Kathy Picard: You know it's the people that you least expect it, but it's people that are known to these kids.
• 11:45
  Kathy Picard: Ninety three percent they know who their abusers are.
• 11:49
  Kathy Picard: It's not stranger danger.
• 11:51
  Kathy Picard: Thankfully they're not really talking too much about stranger danger because it's not.
• 11:56
  Kathy Picard: It's people that are known to this family and shame on you know these.
• 12:01
  Kathy Picard: It's a shame that we can't have kids go to sleepovers because it's not who's in the family, but who is walking through that door.
• 12:09
  Kathy Picard: Is it somebody that's known to somebody?
• 12:11
  Kathy Picard: That's known to somebody that's a perpetrator?
• 12:13
  Kathy Picard: Is it the neighbor coming over to say hi and doing something inappropriate to that kid so the kids can't even have a sleepover?
• 12:23
  Kathy Picard: Like, how sad is that, you know, but it's.
• 12:28
  Kathy Picard: It's sad what I went through.
• 12:30
  Kathy Picard: So many have gone through it, men and women.
• 12:33
  Kathy Picard: It'll never go away.
• 12:36
  Kathy Picard: But he doesn't win.
• 12:38
  Kathy Picard: I win, you know, going out, like you mentioned, writing my book Life With my Idiot Family.
• 12:45
  Kathy Picard: It's a true story of survival, courage and justice over childhood sexual abuse.
• 12:50
  Kathy Picard: My husband and I took us five years to write this book and it was hard.
• 12:54
  Kathy Picard: My husband learned more about me in those five years as a child than he ever knew.
• 13:00
  Kathy Picard: But to go through that time period of me as a innocent child and going through abuse, it was hard to write, not alone speak on Audible.
• 13:10
  Kathy Picard: You know I had to do it.
• 13:12
  Kathy Picard: I did it in my own voice.
• 13:13
  Kathy Picard: But speaking my story on Audible, it was hard.
• 13:18
  Kathy Picard: You know you're in a closet and the producer, ed, who is wonderful said Kathy, he's in another room, kathy, stop wiping your hands on your pants and I go.
• 13:27
  Kathy Picard: You hear that he goes.
• 13:28
  Kathy Picard: I hear everything.
• 13:29
  Kathy Picard: Don't burp, don't fart, don't do anything.
• 13:31
  Kathy Picard: I hear everything.
• 13:33
  Kathy Picard: So it's like you know.
• 13:35
  Kathy Picard: Don't do anything.
• 13:37
  Kathy Picard: I hear everything.
• 13:38
  Kathy Picard: So it's like you know.
• 13:39
  Kathy Picard: It was hard to do that.
• 13:39
  Kathy Picard: But my story is out there.
• 13:40
  Kathy Picard: It's reached as far as Serbia.
• 13:41
  Kathy Picard: You know 900 people have listened to the audible and and I still get idiot members of the family.
• 13:46
  Kathy Picard: There she goes again.
• 13:48
  Kathy Picard: Oh my God, she's looking for attention, she's doing this, you're doing that.
• 13:51
  Kathy Picard: You know I didn't go to college.
• 13:53
  Kathy Picard: I my story is lived experience.
• 13:57
  Kathy Picard: And shame on those that feel like she's talking about it again.
• 14:01
  Kathy Picard: You know you'll never get it, you'll never understand.
• 14:06
  Kathy Picard: But a survivor.
• 14:07
  Kathy Picard: Some can't tell their story, and I'm fortunate, and I'm happy to tell my story because I want to help others to go through it, and I'm happy to tell my story because I want to help others to go through it.
• 14:16
  Kathy Picard: You know, and I'm never going to help everybody, but, justin, as you said, our time here on earth, what have you done?
• 14:23
  Kathy Picard: Is it?
• 14:24
  Kathy Picard: Are you a me, me, me, me, me person, or are you a me, too person sharing your story?
• 14:30
  Kathy Picard: You know, don't be so.
• 14:32
  Kathy Picard: I don't even have words for it, but don't just be a narcissist or don't be all about yourself helping other people.
• 14:40
  Kathy Picard: And, as you know, if we go tomorrow, the legacy we've left behind.
• 14:45
  Kathy Picard: I'm proud of it, you know, and so I continue on.
• 14:50
  Kathy Picard: You know I went through a brain tumor.
• 14:52
  Kathy Picard: At the end of during my trial, I found out that I had a brain tumor.
• 14:58
  Kathy Picard: I'm like I can't get that done yet Because I've been fighting to help to change the laws in Massachusetts.
• 15:03
  Kathy Picard: After the law changed, after my trial ended, then it was time to get my noggin cut open and have this brain tumor removed in 2015.
• 15:13
  Kathy Picard: But I'm still here.
• 15:15
  Kathy Picard: You know, I survived and it wasn't my time to go, but it was important for me to change these laws, to get the laws extended for survivors to go forward.
• 15:25
  Kathy Picard: And in Massachusetts there's criminal and there's civil Criminal changed September 21st 2006.
• 15:32
  Kathy Picard: Criminal and they're civil Criminal change September 21st 2006.
• 15:36
  Kathy Picard: So, instead of a survivor being 31, a survivor, as it stands currently, can be up to the age of 43 years old and go forward.
• 15:41
  Kathy Picard: And people think, oh my God, it's so long, it's so long.
• 15:44
  Kathy Picard: But you know, you got to have that time when you feel comfortable, when you're ready for that fight because it is a true fight, when you're ready for that fight because it is a true fight.
• 15:52
  Kathy Picard: I couldn't get my stepfather, who sexually abused me, through a criminal charge, which I would have loved to throw him in jail, have him register as a sex offender, which he'll never have to do, which is not right.
• 16:08
  Kathy Picard: That's another law we need to change.
• 16:09
  Kathy Picard: So I did fight him on civil.
• 16:11
  Kathy Picard: The civil statute, the civil law, did change June 26 2014.
• 16:17
  Kathy Picard: And that gave a survivor a huge increase.
• 16:21
  Kathy Picard: So, instead of being 21 years old, they can and it still stands 53 years old.
• 16:27
  Kathy Picard: You have until 53 years old to go and fight for the abuse that you endured and that's huge.
• 16:34
  Kathy Picard: There really should be no timeframe.
• 16:37
  Kathy Picard: The only crime is murder.
• 16:39
  Kathy Picard: Where there's no timeframe and, in fact, being sexually abused, you are murdering a child's innocence.
• 16:45
  Kathy Picard: So that's why I feel as though we should step up, like the other six or seven states where there's no time frame, and that needs to take place.
• 16:54
  Kathy Picard: But, going through my trial, my trial was held in federal court after the laws changed.
• 17:01
  Kathy Picard: So November 2 to the 6, 2015 was when I had my trial in Springfield, massachusetts, and I won my trial and I'm still fighting the fight.
• 17:14
  Kathy Picard: You know, um, he says I have no money.
• 17:17
  Kathy Picard: I have no money, but you know it's not about the money, because it's really dirty money, but he needs to pay for what his actions that he did to me.
• 17:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Absolutely.
• 17:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have like 30 seconds left.
• 17:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Can you just plug your book where you can find it, and all that.
• 17:35
  Kathy Picard: So Life With my Idiot Family.
• 17:37
  Kathy Picard: You can find it in Audible.
• 17:39
  Kathy Picard: It's on Kindle and in book format on Amazon.
• 17:42
  Kathy Picard: If you're looking for bulk for many of them, you can reach out to me, kathy Child Advocate at gmailcom.
• 17:48
  Kathy Picard: I love you so much.
• 17:50
  Kathy Picard: That is my kid's book Wicked Wicked Cute.
• 17:52
  Kathy Picard: I got.
• 17:52
  Kathy Picard: I love you so much.
• 17:53
  Kathy Picard: That is my kids book wicked wicked cute.
• 17:54
  Kathy Picard: I gotta show you the pages how colorful they are.
• 17:56
  Kathy Picard: And then it's also in the bilingual Spanish and English.
• 18:01
  Kathy Picard: The same book, but it has activity pages in it.
• 18:04
  Kathy Picard: So please support me, get my book, read it to a child, give it out in a baby shower, just give it to a neighbor, just to help to keep our kids safer.
• 18:13
  Kathy Picard: And, justin, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all.