Latest / Dear Chelsea / Disagreeing with Isla Fisher

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Disagreeing with Isla Fisher · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: on sale. It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour. I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: will be starting debuting my new material in February of
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: next year. So I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Those are
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: the cities that I'm in, So go get your tickets now.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. Hi Catherine, Hello, Chelsea, Hello, Hello, I'm on
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: a real bender this week.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I'm just hearing about all your travels. You're going everywhere.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: You're going to Antarctica. I can't keep track of you.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I've had a busy I haven't even gotten that far
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: to Antarctica. Hopefully a suitcase shows up to show me
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: what's when I'm bringing, because I have been out. I
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: did a show at the Improv that I went into
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: a party for Mark Maren's podcast and oh that's fun.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: And then I was with Fortune and Osco and then
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Zoe my one of my poopsies. And then last night
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I went to go see my friend open for the
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Queen of the Stone Ages and then we went out.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: So I am on a bender.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: And I'm sure you haven't slept. You're like here with
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: me until now.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: I'm sleep.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: I sleep, I sleep, I sleep.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: You know I'm never fully rested because I just like
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to well complain.
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: You love to burn the candle at both ends.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, but I am leaving for Antiarctica on Saturday morning,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: and there's lots of interesting activities.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: They think there's going to be.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Theme nights there, and they think that I'm gonna have
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: read that part of the invitation. But that is going
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: to be something that I miss. I went to Maria
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Shriver's seventieth birthday this weekend and it was a seventies
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: theme party, and I had just come from the Texas
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Book Fair. So it was perfect because I was like, oh,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't see that part of the Everyone's like, where's
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: your outfit? I'm like, I didn't know this was a
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: theme party.
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: Also, like, you don't really dress up, so even if you.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Did, that's exactly right. I'm not dressing up for theme parties.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I have to bring so many puppy and ski clothes
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: down to Antarctica.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't have room for theme night activities.
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: No, ain't. Nobody got time for that.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: So I do me and everyone else does that exactly.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: And you'll probably be in bed with a book by
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: that anyway, so it's fine.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, have you been to Antarctica before?
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: No, I have not, which is a weird question to ask.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I don't think people go on multiple trips Antarctica. But
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: unless you're like an exit, you know, unless you're an explorer,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: which you know. I'm a life explorer, but no, this
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: will be my first trip to Antarctica. We have a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: special guest, a surprise special guest coming, and I'm going
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: with my friend, but some guy I met in Vegas
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: has decided to join us, so he got a ticket
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: in Christ coming too.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: So there could be so many different developments happening. There
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: could be penetration in Antarctica.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh my gosh, well that you're going to
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: study like LSD and psychedelics and then also the effects
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: of penetration in Antarcopica.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: And we're going to be studying LSD and the effects
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: of psychedelics alongside penguins.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: So who knows what could happen.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: There's polar plunging, there's expeditions every day. My friends like,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: are we going to go skiing? I'm like, I don't
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: think there's a ski rental shop in Antarctica, but I mean,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna flat. I think I think of it
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: as very flat. They have major crevasses and mountains, and
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I think, so I don't think it's flat, But who
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: knows what I know? I mean, it's usually way off base.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: You didn't read that, I did, No, Well, you know what.
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: I'm so excited for our guest day. She is so fun.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, one of my one of my dear friends.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I love her. So you know our next guest today
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: from wedding crashers arrested development and then now you see me.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Now you don't franchise, Please welcome Isla Fisher.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: Okay, we're here.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: With I'm going to shut the door.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe relax. I can't do It's like pre ejaculation, pre ejaculation.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I got so excited.
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: I'm a rectile dysfunctioned. I'm like, what am I going
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: to say in this? I'm my exact opposite.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. We're going to guide you.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: I'm going to guide you.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Thanks, we're in safe hands. How long are you here for?
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: Till tomorrow?
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: And then you go back to London?
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: Back to London. You have been there a lot and
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: not texted me, and I see on your social media.
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: I'm nice to you every time i'm there because people
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: tell me, like.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Chelsea, I said, come to Glastonbury.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: I said, yeah, you look like you had fun. It
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: was Stella's birthday the other day.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Oh was it?
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: I didn't I didn't know.
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: I didn't know.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Though she face timed me.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: She tried to convince me to come to New York
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: two weeks ago for her Climate Award and she almost
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: got me. I'm so I'm so easy to like rep
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: in shit, I realized. I was like. I was sitting
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: there with her, I'm talking to her face timing, and
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, she just come in for one night, just
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: come for one night time. Jane vond is gaming the award,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: It'll be the three And I was like and then
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not coming in for a night.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like this this strong arming.
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: Get yourself to Paris my fashion.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Oh let's start this conversation houting Stella McCart. Now you know,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: we love Stella. But Stella is always always asking for
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: someone to go somewhere to do something. And then I
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: say to her, I'm like, okay, she asked me. Last
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: year I left, I was in London. She's like, you know,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: what would you do this campaign with me where you're
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: just nude. You're the only one who has the guts
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: to be nude. No for you know, for her veganism
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: or something about you know, saving that. I always lie
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: and tell her I'm not eating meat, and then I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: do because it's easier, right, It's easier than having the common.
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: Pether around her. Forget it?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, She doesn't like any of that stuff.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: But to her credit, she does incredible once she made
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: all over clothes without animals, and she's very moral about
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: the climate and about.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah and activism. She says what she means, she does,
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: she stands by. She's not one of those kind of
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: hypocritical activists.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: But as soon as I told her that she had
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: to pay for my hair, makeup and flight and hotel,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't hear from her for like three weeks. I
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: didn't hear another word about it.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: So that's Stella and Nutshell.
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: I didn't say that everybody.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't say Ella. I still love the handbag, said
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: This is Chelsea Handler saying it.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: But at Glastonbury this year, because I texted you because
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: now you're living in London, and I was like, come
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: to Glastonbury. So we all stayed at this hotel that's
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like forty five minutes away, Okay, And we get there
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: and Stella had sent all of us clothes, and so
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: my closet is filled with all of Stella's clothes and
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited. None of the sizes fit me, they no,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: none of nothing she sent me fit. So I left
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: the hotel and I left all the clothes in the closet,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: and then the woman that runs the hotel texted me
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: and said, hey, you left all these Stella McCartney clothes
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: in the closet. I said, give them to the staff.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I told her that they don't fit me. I told
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: her to look at Isla's.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: Like, but you finished wearing them, sent them back. I
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: would never have got to get Wait.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Wait then a month later, my assistant texts me and
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: says Stella's assistant is asking where the clothes are. I'm like,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I left them in the hotel so that somebody could
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: make some good use out of them, because it wasn't
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: going to be me. Listen, I've told to getting turned.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: If this stays in the podcast.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: You're innocent. You're innocent. You're not saying anything. It's just me,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So you're safe. Isla Isa's here to promote her new movie.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Now you see me. Now you don't you missed one
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: of these because there's this is the third most part.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Right, You've been pregnant a lot in your life, but
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: be honest.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: Pregnant continued, some people love to work. I just like,
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: have another baby and no it'll notice.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: But now you're free to work because the kids are
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: growing up.
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: It's a grown up and you know, and I'm a
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: new chapter in my life and I'm just trying to
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: kind of re establish who I am as somebody who
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: enjoys performing and writing. And it's like been a whole thing.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: It's like I've got a whole new identity.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I know, I love it. And you filmed that fun
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: movie with Leslie with.
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: Michelle Bach, so you should have been in that.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I know I should have been in it. Nobody ever
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: asked me to do movies. I never get it.
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: I would have been so we had so much fun.
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: We shot it in Australia's called Spa Weekend. It's John
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: Lucas and Scott Moore who did Bad Moms and The Hangover,
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: and it's just like, you know, real like really funny
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: ladies having a really fun time. Yeah, although there was
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: a tornado or a cyclone rather in Australia, Australia while
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: we were there, and we were on lockdown in this
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: hotel with like Paul Rudd, who else was there, like
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: Jack Black, the cast of Like Anaconda, the cast of
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: Like There was basically four movies, so imagine it's like
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: what's that movie with Ruben where they're all on an island. Anyway,
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: imagine a bunch of sort of actors, precious actors in
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: a hotel shut down for like six.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Days, actors from all different movies.
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: Yes, oh yeah, it went from Raised two. Let's just
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: say there wasn't enough to kill her in the bar
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: to keep everybody happy.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Is it fun for you to shoot in Australia because
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: you grew you grew up in Australia, but you're you
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: didn't move to Australia until what you were six? Yeah,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: and you're Scottish.
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I have like a super complicated cultural identity because like,
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: my parents are Scottish, but I was born in Oman
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: and I was raised between Iran and Sarawak and Brunei,
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: and then we kind of moved back to Cambridge, England randomly,
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: and then we immigrated to Australia, to Western Australia, which
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: is the most isolated city in the world for reasons
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: my parents have never quite disclosed.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Why did you guys move with so much? Was your
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: dad in the military.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: Around that time there was some sort of talk of
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: a Cold War. I mean it sounds so paranoid but
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: my mom, My mom was convinced that our lives were
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: there was going to be a nuclear war and that
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: we were safe in Australia.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: Really yeah, but yeah.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: But so why were you born in Oman?
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: Who was my dad? For the un and so he
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: when you Yeah, so he basically was in banking, but
• 10:01
  Speaker 5: he would travel to you know, we were always in
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: you know, Papua New Guinea. We were always kind of
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: growing up and in different I guess cultures until we
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: got till I started like primary school, maybe like year two,
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: and then we were sort of solid until I obviously
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: then traveled the world and became a clown.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Oh that's right, we went to clown school too. First
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: of all, how does it work with all of your
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: family reunions when you get all together, can you understand
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: how word anybody fucking says?
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: No, it's definitely and my mother's on her third husband,
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: it's definitely shake yes, yes, And so it's definitely like
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: a very much a dysfunctional but deeply loving, very you know,
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: multi generational and quite eccentric group. But there's a lot
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: of love. There's a lot of love, and we will
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: put a lot of effort into seeing each other.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of love in dysfunction. Yeah, there really is. Yeah,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I mean that's what it is. It's dysfunction, because otherwise
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: if it's not dysfunctional. I mean, I don't know anybody
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: who has a normal functional upbringing and that was like,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: oh my really, unless like some older white men will
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: say that, they'll.
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: Be like they're just lying, yeah, yeah, are they?
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Or do they not notice how the dysfunction?
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Because I wonder if some people don't notice the dysfunction,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: you know, like women are much more in tune with dysfunction.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: I think, Well, I do think a lot of people
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: do notice it, but they choose to ignore it and
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: it makes them feel better to feel wholesome about their
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: family relations rather than you know, to sort of accept
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: the fact that we might all be, you know, broken
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: in different ways and that that's okay.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's okay to remain broken, like you're not
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: fixed in life ever, Like just when you think you've
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: got it now and you get fucking hit.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: In the face.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that. I speak from personal experience when
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I say that, I mean I feel like the last
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: book I wrote was so about female empowerment and like
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: just really how to get to know yourself, how to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: love yourself. And then I fucking I am literally in
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: the middle of like a nervous breakdown because of this
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: stupid fucking house I'm building has cost me so much drama,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: really drama, an emotional toll. Yes, and it's like, Wow,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I really thought I had fucking shit figured out.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: Wait, but what could possibly cause you that much drama
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: with the house?
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: The house I bought from RFK Junior.
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's curse.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it's definitely curse.
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: Just Thailand Oll just scrubbed out for it.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I mean there will be by the time I get
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: done with it. Yeah, I took Thailand all throughout all
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: of my pregnancies. I want to say on the record,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: So what do you feel like? Do you feel Australian?
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You must, right, I think.
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: My sensibility is kind of Australian, Like I'm Gregarias some
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: kind of like laid back in some regards. But then
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: I do have that kind of you know, my mom
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: was very she was on the first woman that went
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: to Cambridge. He's very educated. My father's very I come
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: from a kind of like a sort of in a
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: way bit of an academic background. So the Australian thing
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: is a little more like I feel like I identify
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: more with like the surfing and the outdoor lifestyle, and honestly,
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: just like Australians are just really friendly. Yeah, they are friends,
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: they are They're really friendly.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: Do you think people are friendly in London?
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: I definitely think that it's a different kind of friendly.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Well, you went from LA to London. Yeah, so LA friendly.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Definitely friendly. I've still my LA mates. I love them.
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: I pop into town for a few days and I
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: get bombarded with like love text.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: LA's more fun to visit than to live.
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe you're right, particularly post the apocalypse.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean right now you must be grateful
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: that you're not living in the States during this kind of.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: Definitely, yeah, it's definitely. It feels like, oh, it just
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: feels like everybody's got a very loud opinion and they
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: want to discuss it, and there seems to be you know,
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: in London, people are a little more you know, people
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: don't reveal their political beliefs, necessarily their religious beliefs. They're
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: very careful to put civility and connection above like, whereas
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: here in LA sometimes it feels a little like someone's
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: opinions become their identity, and therefore if you don't share
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: their values or their opinions in their mind, that you
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: therefore don't like them. There's not a sort of separation
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: between church and state, so to speak. And I find
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: that is like now, I just don't want to sort
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: of I just don't want to fight or have a
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: different opinion. I just want to connect with people. I
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: don't know whether it's like with ever I've been through
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: for the last two years, but I just want to
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: like feel like we're all just together in this, which
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: we are.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we are all together in this. I agree with you. Yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm even guilty of it myself listening to
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: you talk about it, because you know, I can, like,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: you know, if I hear somebody is you know, a
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Trump support or something, I'm like, no, no, no, I
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: don't want anything to do with that.
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: I can't.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I need peace, like I need my own peace. But
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, it's nice to not
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: even have that be part of the conversation.
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because yeah, and you don't really want to isolate
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: yourself and find yourself in a bubble where you're only
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: with light minded people. Only because then you create an
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: emotional bias where you only filter everything you hear or
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: read or see through the lens of this is already
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: my decided opinion. And as we know, the best thing
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: about having opinions is they're flexible and open to new information.
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: And so it's important to keep conversations going and not
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: just get off on your own little tangent and think
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: that you're right. You are always right. That's what I
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: love about you. You've never been wrong in any way.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: I appreciate it.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I appreciate you acknowledging that.
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: I've known it my whole life. Every time you say something,
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: I'm like, yep, that's it.
• 15:00
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: The last time I saw you, I bumped into you
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: at Wimbledon.
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you were having a great time.
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: I had had.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: So much fun tennis. I fucking love going to tennis.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I love day drinking, and I love socializing. Yes, and
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I love that tennis is so civilized, you know what.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: It's not like a.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Rugby match or well, the golf that happened the Ryder
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Cup was so embarrassing on America's behalf because people were screaming, noelling,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: that's golf.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: I don't watch golf.
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: But also there's something about I think it's a collective
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: silence of tennis, Like you're watching a game where there
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: are thousands of you watching and they're not saying, they're
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: not you can't even hear them breathe when the serve happens,
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: because they don't want to put off the player. And
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: that is just like as someone who's done like a
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: you know, a ton of theater when I was younger
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: and just like been on a stage and had to
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: like cry in a scene and had like crew talking
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: someone opening chips. It's like an amazing thing when you've
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: captured an audience and you just all are so respectful
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: that you're going to be just so quiet. The quiet
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: is just amazing, like communal energy. Everyone's focused in the same.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Place, especially Wimbledon, because there's a level of decorum that
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: supersedes like any of the other Grand Slams, because Wimbledon
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: is like a little stuffy, but I love that kind
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: of stuff.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: It's not stuffy in a negative way.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: No, it's fun.
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: It's like pompous and ritual. And although a ginger lady,
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: a middle aged ginger lady apparently fainted this Wimbledon. She
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: was in the overhead light of the sun and there
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: wasn't enough I guess water brought to her. And of
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: course everyone's text me like is it you were you
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: taken out? Oh? I know, I was in the VIP bitch.
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: I had a shade, a cannoby, a bull of my way.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right. I saw you get after those cannabies.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: She was like, is that a cannape? And I went
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: after it. She was in a different sweet came to
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: see us in our suite or maybe we were in
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: the same suite fire apart too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I loved it.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: I loved it.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: How is your time in London?
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: Can I just go back to Cannapase? Love a CANape?
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: You know what? I'm not into the cheese and pineapple
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: skewer and triple layer dips. There's some things that just
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: should never be food combos that should never be enjoyed together.
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: And what Wimbledon does well if they don't mix flavors,
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: it's like a strawberry cream or it's like a cucumber
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: and bread. It's like, keep it simple, people.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like pineapple with anything, like I don't
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: want pineapple mixed with hot food. No like no, no, no, no.
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: You just it's very different pineapple. No, that's cheese and
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: pineapple to skewer is a dry, cold, unpleasant, it's visually unattractive.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: It's it's very different to a melty, gooey you know.
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: I don't know right now. I just want to say, she's.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Always right, She's right.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: What are you cooking?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Do you cook? You do?
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: I love to cook?
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: What do you cook?
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: Well?
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: At the moment, I'm big into what do I do
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: at the moment? I mean, I'm a mom of three,
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: so it's kind of like I get up and kind
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: of like sort my week out. So I freeze a
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: couple of tomato sauces, I'll freeze a chicken stock. I'll
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: do things in advance, and then I'm just like simple,
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: super simple like pastes me anything. I can cook anything. Okay.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about being a mother,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Like what kind of mother do you like?
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: What do you think you're for? Power as a mom?
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: Is I definitely as a mom?
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: I should say I definitely do not have a superpower?
• 18:06
  Speaker 7: You do?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: All women are super have superpowers? And do your kids
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: call you mom or mom?
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: Momsy or mom mom yeah, or mom yeah, no, mummy
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: actually mummy, yeah.
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Mummy like British.
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: Right, yeah, yeah, I think they is that British. I
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: think that's more Australian, is it, Well, I think it's
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: British and Australia.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because everyone in America it's mom.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah. But what do you think I'm good at as
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: a mother?
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: What do you think your strengths as a mother are?
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: And it's really interesting the Ussex. Obviously, all I think
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: about the things that I regret when I go to
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: bed at night, that I wish i'd handle differently. I
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: think overall my strength is that I have tried very
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: much to reinforce anything they do, to sort of align
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: it with you must feel really good about how you
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: did this. You must be really proud of you. So
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: they're not searching for external validation. They don't need Mummy
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: likes my picture, therefore my picture is good. No, I'm
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: proud that I drew a picture, Therefore my picture is good.
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: I just try to sort of separate and create a
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: world in which that a they listen to the voice
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: of they have a beautiful relationship with themselves.
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: Maybe my goal not saying it's a superpower. And then
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: my other superpower is maybe like I'm really good at
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: like switching off, like pretending that I can't hear anything,
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: like just getting in the bath, like mam mad, I'm like,
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: I'm in the bath. And by the way, it's a
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: great technique because when they finally get to you, they've
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: resolved it. They've sorted out who has the TV remote,
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: they know where that apple juice is. They didn't need
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: me to jump out of the bus, scamper downstairs find
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: everything and a lot. You know, what you don't do
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: for your kids, they do for themselves. But Russia.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: So when you were a little girl, did you envision
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: yourself having three children?
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: I always wanted kids. I was a nanny when I
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: was seventeen for a three week old baby, and I
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: used to babysit my niece's when I was about, you know, twelve,
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: and so I always love kids. I've always loved kids.
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: I just always think like it sounds affable. When you
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: get to my age, I feel like I've met so
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: many amazing people. And not to say that everybody's really similar,
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: but you kind of realize it's you can kind of
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: predict someone's nature almost right away after meeting them, or
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: at least what they're like. But a kid is like
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: it's like opening up a present. You have no idea
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: what's inside. They're just so original. They think in this
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: like totally unique, magical way. And I just love I
• 20:20
  Speaker 5: love their naivete and I love their kind of They
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: just say the truth. They I find children amazing.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, her face is like no.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: And I like to hear mothers talk about loving being
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: a mother. I think it's really important because and you
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: love their friends as well.
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: You have this like community of like become teenagers. You
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: don't just have yours. They come home with like four
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: looking at the ground. It's like it's amazing.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: It's like, how do you handle social media with your kids?
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: I mean it's very difficult. That whole thing is just and.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: That's something that I like just don't understand how parents
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: can even deal with.
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: I mean, we all know the statistics. There's nothing I
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: can say that it's original on that. And we all
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: know that the benefits, the caaalistic benefits that are being
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: made from targeting women and their body images, and how
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: the algorithms work and how they impact our self esteem,
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: and really what you can do is flag that. But
• 21:10
  Speaker 5: it's a fine line. If you isolate them completely, then
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: socially they're not necessarily in the same conversation as their mates,
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: and so then you're just basically creating a situation where
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: they can't really. I mean, they all have these platforms
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: where they arrange things and they meet up, but it's
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: terribly cruel, like you can see who your best friend is.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: And I mean, I my personality would have not survived
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: social media as a kid.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Why do you handle social media as for yourself as
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: an adult in this industry?
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: I mean, my feelings do get hurt, Like I'll pop
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: on something and see everybody went somewhere and I wasn't there,
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: Or I do get a little bit of that, or
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: I see somebody and other actors out there doing something
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, oh my goodness, I haven't even showered yet.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: It's three o'clock and someone's come out with a best
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: selling book and a like re brand and is now
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: like the ambassador for China.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Am I doing?
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: But I think ultimately you just got to just try
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: not to tune it out. I think just like at
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: the moment, there's just so much noise on that platform,
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: Like whoever has the most explosive opinion, whoever has the
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: most extreme hyperbole or uses the most like has the
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: like the wackiest opinion. It floats up, hits the top
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: of the algorithm and everyone sees it. So people are
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: motivated to be super loud about things that just like
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: we used to just like be chill over right now.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: That makes me feel really like anxious, So I'm not
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: on it that much, to be honest.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good to taking the breaks from social media.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: Are like you just your level of happiness is and.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Finally, immediately, exactly immediately, like I was with some girls
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: in Canada. I went to Taffino and I was I
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: was like, I just I'm so I was so stressed
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: about my fucking house and all the money out the
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: window and all.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: I know it sounds stupid, but it's.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Just it's just like I feel like I'm being robbed,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like over and over
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: and over again, and that like no one really has
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: any respect for my mental well being, like the emotional
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: like everyone's like it's just a house, It's just a house.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: I'm like, it's worse than that.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: There's there's a grounding aspect that's missing, like you're you're groundless,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you're without anywhere to you know, to land to land.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I really do agree with that. And I was
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: thinking the other day when I had a bit of
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: a rocky day, you know when you get jet lags
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: and you're awake in the middle of the night and
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: everything feels much worse than it is. And I did
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: think I was trying to sort of ground myself and
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: ask myself, like where am I happy? Like, come on, Isla,
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: where are you happy? And I realized, like I did
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: circle back to when I am in my house, I'm
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: always happy.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: Oh really in your house in London?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I.
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: Make a home, but like wherever, like my things are
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: and my family is and I can make a cup
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: of tea and I don't know, it's just something about that,
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: So I get that i'd be really discongobulated to it's terrible.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So how has been How has it been
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: living in London? Because you have a group of friends
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: here in la of course, and you have a group
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: of friends in London.
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: My English friends, So it's so great that you have
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: friends everywhere. Well, I think there's something about when you
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: make a big switch in terms of like going from
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: being married and not being married, you are like naturally
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: you're just more drawn to people on it's hard to
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: sit with like smug married people when you're single.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: It's like it's hard.
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: I just want to see you guys like, oh, honey,
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: do you need some block on? Like h no, So
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: I guess I'm now like my crew that I hang
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: out with in London. They're just a little more. They
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: have the same lifestyle that I do, their single moms
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: and it's really nice and it's really it's a different
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: I still love my LA friends obviously, but they're away
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: and they're my ride or dies are really here. But
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: I am enjoying like finding you know, commonality with this
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: new group of women and they're great. They women have
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: like got me through the last two years. My friendships
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: have been just so important to me and more. And
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: I keep talking about female friendship with all my friends
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: and every woman I meet, and we're all on the
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: same page.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think as you get older, the more you
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: realize how kind of useless men.
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: Because and how valuable women are.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: You know, gay men are useful and there are some
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: young men out there that are a little bit more.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: They've gotten the software update that we talk about, Like
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: you need a software update after fifty as a straight
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: white man, you do you need an update. You don't
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: understand the way things are working. There's a shift happening,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: and if you don't see it, then you're against us.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: But it's just a coming of age kind of story
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: where you just realize how much more reliable women are,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: how much more comforting women are, how much more insightful.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: You know, you take something like, you know, we can
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: dissect something almost ad nauseum, but it's kind of fun
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: to dissect something and overanalyze the situation and get everyone's perspectives,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: you know, like the way one person looks at something
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: is completely different. And instead of having like a flat reflection,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: which is what a lot of men do, they kind
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: of just look at something and they're like, well, that's
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: brown and that's over there that I wouldn't think anything
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: more about it, And you're like, no, there's definitely more
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: to I mean, I know personally, like I can overcomplicate things,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just for the sake of
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: kind of drama or conversation. But that's what being a
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: woman is. Yeah, sometimes it's having over complicating things.
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: It's kind of and no one.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Gets women like other women, So I totally you're not
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the first person to come on here and say, yeah,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of women feel that way and it's very
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: booying during difficult time.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, it's so it really is. I'm so grateful.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: And the other nice thing is meeting new friends as
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: you get older. Yeah, Like it's funny how you can
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: constantly make.
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: At the beginning go hey, here's something about me. Like
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: sometimes you meet a new friend and they remember that
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: you have a new date work tomorrow, and they send
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: flowers and then they text you that it's one of
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: your kids birthday and you can just put the cabash
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: on it straight away and go, you can inundate me
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: with this amazing stuff. But I'm so disorganized and busy
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: that it's likely that I'm going to drop the ball
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: on your birthday. And if you still want a friendship
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: with me, I'm here, but please don't be disillusioned. Like
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: I'm so open about what my strengths are in friendship now,
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: I'm just like I'm just up front. It's like almost
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: like dating, but with women like I just go, Okay,
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: this is what I'm great at, this is what I'm
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: not great at, and like I just don't. It's not
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: that same feeling that when I was younger my friendships,
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: I was always like everybody remembered that we were supposed
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: to do this, and I got the day wrong, and
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: you know all of that stuff right right right.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Well you have three children also, and yeah, anyone's expecting
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: that they're an idiot anyway, you know.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: I like the idea.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I was like sending flowers the day of a new job.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, who's doing that? No, people do.
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: That's amazing too. They're really thoughtful.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Turns out there are people out there. So tell me
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: about this movie. Now do you see me?
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: Now you don't?
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: Yes, so little magic? We need magic?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're also well I was going to say,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I mean you went to clown school or mind school,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: so that's not magic, but in my mind it is.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my mind, I can see you could draw to
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: a conclusion the totally different.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Magicians are over there on that side of the room.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: Well, let me help you out a little. They're very
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: different crafts and but they do perform a similar function,
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: Like acting. We're playing make believe, and there is that
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: suspension reality, and obviously what we love about magic is
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: this like kind of conflict in beliefs, like here's something
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: that you know to be real, but then your eyes
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: are deceiving you and you're seeing something different. And I
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: think that conflict does create a kind of appetite to
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: watch our story and our stories full of great magic.
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: And I play Henley and.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: The magic is real.
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: In the movie, we had world class magicians that came
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: and taught us everything. Obviously some of it's enhanced, but yeah,
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: we worked really hard on the magic.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Which, especially in the age of like AI and CG
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: and everything CGA, to have these like practical effects, it's
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: really exciting.
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: It is really exciting, and honestly, I really enjoyed this
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: movie just because it's like the story's good. I don't
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: know whether you guys feel this, but I just feel
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: everything I've seen on streamers and stuff lately, I'm just like,
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: the plot's not quite there. This is like somebody actually
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: wrote and crafted a plot that's genuinely like if you
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: heard it as a radio play, you'd be gripped. As
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: well as it's fun and it's like, yeah, pretty people
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: doing tricks. We've got new horsemen, these amazing kids. They're
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: so talented.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: And did you work with some of the same people
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: that you worked with on the first lund same?
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: Now you see me cast Handy's back.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It's so sweet, isn't that fun? So work with the
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: same people, Like.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And by the way, we've all kind of become
• 29:03
  Speaker 5: like parodies of ourselves or like more extreme. You know
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: when people get older and they just get like become
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: a little more like a like an exaggerated Vergin version
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: of themselves life, like exaggerated.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Virgin I like that you become an exaggerated Virgin I wish.
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: But Dave is definitely like even more Dave and Jesse
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: and wood he's like so woody now like wood he
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: looks like he's playing.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Woody wood He is really I mean, Woody is really woody.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Anytime you meet that guy, you're just like, wow, you
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: are really yourself. Yeah, that's so funny. We'll take a
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back with Isla Fisher. And
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: we're back with Islan Fisher.
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: That was really so great.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: We all just took a bath together. That's what we
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: do on our commercial breaks.
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: I braided your hair and then unbraided, and the kids
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: did not bother us.
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: We take callers.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: We're gusing advice on this podcast.
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: You guys should really together.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: You do have your ship together? Our ship together?
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: Well, our first question.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: This one's just an email that comes from antisocial mom.
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: Oh, dear Chelsea.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: My daughter is nine and has an adorably close relationship
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: with her bff, who is also a fantastic kid. Her parents, however,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: being around them is absolutely brutal. They're socially awkward. We
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: have less than nothing in common, and trying to hold
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: a conversation with them is actual torture. The girls often
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: request plates on the weekend, which is usually fine if
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: it's a drop off situation, but some playdates involve a
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: lot of bopping around and going to the beach, so
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: I feel like I really should be there to help out.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: They've offered to take the girl's solo, but I know
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: the extra hands and eyes would be appreciated. My daughter's
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: friend also deals with anxiety, so I can't take the
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: girl solo myself, which would be way more fun because
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: she likes a parent to be close. I know this
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: sounds shitty, but you don't understand the gravity of their brutalness.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: The girls have been friends for four years, and believe me,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I have tried. So should I just microtius mushrooms and
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: go on the plates? Should I let them take the
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: girls solo?
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: Ps? I love you and social mom.
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: I do.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: This is another reason to not have children to deal
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: with other mothers. I mean, seriously, I don't know as
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: a mother, what would you What do you say to that?
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: Isila, I think nine's really old to be going on
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: a play date for an extra set of hands. I'm sorry, mom,
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: but like, you're not changing a diaper unless there's a
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: food allergy, unless there's a body of water, which the
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: beach sounds shady, But like, I'm pretty certain your daughter
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: can advocate for her self that if there's an issue,
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: she'll not want to go on the playdate again. I'd
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: be like, goodbye, goodbye, have a cocktail and stay home.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, listen, if those people are probably
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: feeling the same exact way that you're feeling, if the
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: interaction is that awkward, yeah, that they're gonna be to welcome.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: They're gonna be yeah, welcoming your absence.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: YEA.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: So like if it's not a match. It's not a match.
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: Don't push it.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: And if they're friends, like that friendship is enough. That
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: friendship probably provides enough to that family. They're happy their
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: daughter has a friendship that she wants to spend time
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: with them. And if they're willing to take them to
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: these places, great, then do that. And if she has
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: anxiety and can't go with you, even more of a
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: is that they should be taking them place.
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: And also the daughter that's modeling not having anxiety and
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: having no issue with separation from her parents, there's a
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: great example on the daughter with anxiety. So you really
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: want to continue that because eventually they're headed in the
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: same direction that other shy goal will come out of
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: her shell and want to play date solo soon.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and also nine is too old to like why.
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: Are you a girl? I mean, if we're talking about
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: a boy, but a nine year old girl, you know?
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Well, our first caller is Nicole, She says, Dear Chelsea,
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: I've got big sis problems that go back to just
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: about the beginning of my lifetime and it has sucked hard.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: I've only recently, after relearning to self soothe and healthy
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: ways become aware of just how much the bummer dynamics
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: between my sister and I have fucked shit up for
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: me big time. She's about a year older than me
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: and we're in our mid thirties. After a long phase
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: of numbing myself as an adult, I've come to realize
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: my sister's jealous, malicious and greedy energy still plays way
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: too large of a role in my life friendships, work, romance, family,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: and I need big time relief from an asap. How
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: horrible is she? She would hit me when we were kids,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: but more recently she named her daughter Collette. When I
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: told her I was honored she named her kid after me,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: she laughed in my face and claimed she didn't. My
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: name is Nicole and it's a family name that goes
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: back generations. Clearly she'd like me to disappear and be
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: forgotten about. She's driven by sibling rivalry. But despite all this,
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: I love her. She's my sister. I've let go of
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: expecting our relationship to improve. Of course I still want that,
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: but I in no way have ever consented to her
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: rudely taking up so much space in my life. What's
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: a girl to do. I've confronted her about it, and
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: I've tried going to therapy with her. When I confronted her,
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: she called me crazy, and in therapy she acted manipulatively
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: and without any apparent interest in true healing, so I
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: ended it. Last I saw her and my beloved only
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: niece a nephew. Her gross Trump loving husband kicked me
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: out of their house for unapologetically being myself and she
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: yelled at me nonsense ego trip style on the porch.
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: This was a couple of years ago.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Since then, direct contact has included only happy birthday wishes
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: and some cool presents and notes to the kiddos. The
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: amount and frequency with which they are bullshit has rudely
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: interrupted in the good things I've had going on has
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: been baffling and enraging. I've gotten better at counting my blessings,
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: keeping on, keeping on all that jazz, but the loneliness
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: I feel in all this has been overwhelming. Any help
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: dealing with this nonsense is super appreciated, which is grassiest
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: for all the good lulls and your lovely work.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Nicole, Hi, Nicole, Hello nice, This is our special guest.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: I love for sure.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: How do you bye?
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: Hi?
• 34:24
  Speaker 6: Seeing?
• 34:24
  Speaker 8: Oh that's so cool.
• 34:25
  Speaker 7: It's it's total honored to speak with all y'all. Thanks
• 34:29
  Speaker 7: for having me.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Look how cozy you look with your drinking a cup
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: of tea and coffee tea.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna say, like whiskey.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, even better. You look like you're in a.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: Very warm and cozy place.
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I've got a sweet little mountain home up here,
• 34:45
  Speaker 7: and autumn weather is rolling in and it's getting a
• 34:48
  Speaker 7: getting to be sweater time.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: That's cute. I like that time of year for you
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: and for me.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Well, your sister sounds like she's probably she has a
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: lot of her own issues that she probably has to
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: sort out. So is there any way for you to
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: kind of just limit your exposure to her?
• 35:03
  Speaker 7: Definitely? I mean I have been at the point of
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: limiting contact to just happy Birthday once a year from
• 35:12
  Speaker 7: my end, and there's been nothing from her to me
• 35:17
  Speaker 7: for years.
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: Anyways, wait, since the Trump started Trump. So after the
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: Trump fight on the porch, she then that's when you
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: guys cut off contact. Then you get you send the
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: birthday card and some gifts to the kid, and she
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: doesn't reciprocate.
• 35:29
  Speaker 7: Well, one, it wasn't a I don't have a Trump
• 35:32
  Speaker 7: fight with her. I think she's actually pretty disgusted by
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: all that. But yeah, before the fight on the porch,
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: you know, I tried to go to therapy with her.
• 35:43
  Speaker 8: That didn't work.
• 35:44
  Speaker 7: She hadn't reached out to me for anything other than
• 35:48
  Speaker 7: maybe a happy birthday too for years and then yeah, sorry, yeah,
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: you're right. Since then, ooh, this a lot, excuse me then,
• 35:58
  Speaker 7: you know, since then, it's been me just saying, you know,
• 36:02
  Speaker 7: happy birthday to my sister and sending her kiddo's presence
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: for their birthdays.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Nicole, can I ask you why do you think that
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: she's sort of like taken up so much space of
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: your mental space or emotional space, especially now while you
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: guys aren't in contact.
• 36:21
  Speaker 7: Well, it bothers me and it's been hard to sort
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: of rebuild after super bummer losses and stuff like that,
• 36:34
  Speaker 7: rebuild like the happy you know, my happy garden, the
• 36:38
  Speaker 7: the you know, cool parts of my life to better
• 36:42
  Speaker 7: distract myself with. Though I have been making progress with it,
• 36:47
  Speaker 7: I'm just you know, like one, she's my sister, my
• 36:50
  Speaker 7: only sister.
• 36:51
  Speaker 8: I love her, like.
• 36:52
  Speaker 7: I'm not banking on our relationship getting better, but of course,
• 36:57
  Speaker 7: like there's no way for me to.
• 36:59
  Speaker 8: Like totally lose hope about it.
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: And I guess maybe another reason has to do with
• 37:05
  Speaker 7: like her having the only kiddos in my family and
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: on her husband's thend too, So I think she's very
• 37:15
  Speaker 7: much got like the generous, cool old people in our
• 37:19
  Speaker 7: families and just anyone. You know, we all love kids.
• 37:23
  Speaker 7: We all want to see them happy and well supported
• 37:27
  Speaker 7: and stuff like that.
• 37:29
  Speaker 8: So yeah, that probably has a lot to do with it.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I think that there's a loving kindness of meditation you
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: can do for people who wronged you, you know what.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: There's that loving where you're sending them love. You're sending
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: them happiness and safety and all of the things that
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: you would wish upon someone you really did love, which
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: is you do love your sister, You want you know,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: good things for her. It clearly interferes with your own
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: sanity and your own peacefulness to be interacting with her.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: So I would take whatever break that she's giving you
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: as a gift, like to reframe it in your mind
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: as like, this is a gift that has been given me.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: To protect yourself from more hurt and more pain coming
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: from them. The kiddos aside, you can keep sending them
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: gifts and hopefully maintain some sort of relationship with them,
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: although that's all you can really do without, you know,
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: going and exposing yourself to that family. And I'm sure
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: there I don't know are they is he is the
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: kid old enough? Is it a boy or a girl
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: to be alone with?
• 38:22
  Speaker 8: I love that advice, Thank you. Yeah, that is a
• 38:25
  Speaker 8: great way to look at it.
• 38:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, the kiddos are the oldest ones, just turned nine.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Right, so you're not going to be spending time alone
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: with them.
• 38:35
  Speaker 8: I can't steal him yet. I do look forward to
• 38:37
  Speaker 8: those days though.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just would really focus on actually trying to
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: just send positive vibes her way without contacting her like that,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: there's nothing positive that she's bringing to your life thus far,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Like it looks like you have like a really cozy
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: retreat that you have set up for yourself. And some
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: of the biggest insults in our lives come from people
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: who do not deserve our ire, Like they just don't
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: get it, Like you don't get my anger, you know
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: what I mean, when somebody really hurts you, they do
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: not get your they don't get the benefit of my pain.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: And I think that's something that you have to like
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: imprint on your mind, write it down and put it
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: on your fridge, like this person isn't thinking about what's
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: best for you, and so for you to be preoccupied
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: with it isn't helping you move along. You should be
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: focusing on the things that make you happy, whatever your
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: hobbies are, whatever you're into, double down on all of that,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: but always sending her love and light, like that's all
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: you can do to be a good person and to
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: keep your side of the street clean. But just take
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: the absence of her in your life as a sign
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: that the universe is protecting you from being involved with her,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: because it sounds like you've had some painful experiences with her.
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: Wouldn't you agree, Isila?
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: When somebody like somebody wrongs you, you know, whether it's
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: a family member or someone you don't know well or
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: a really good friend, and they don't get your ire,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: they don't get it because it's not worth it, and
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I've already proven themselves that they haven't earned it. So
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I would just write that down and write down your
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: feelings around it, and keep it somewhere close so you
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: can check in with yourself and remind yourself of the
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: reasons why you're better off not having her in your
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: life in that way. Yes she's your sister, Yes you'll
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: always love her, but you don't have to expose yourself
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: to her.
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: And yes, be flattered by the fact that she's I
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: guess engaging in sibling rivalry. It means she's as much
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: as her life looks maybe from the outside, to have
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: tacked a few more of the kind of boxes with
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: the kids and being like married or whatever. That like,
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: clearly your family value those, you know, that doesn't prevent
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: her from probably looking at your life cozied up in
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: what looks like the cutest free people tan hoodie or whatever.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: She's probably looking at that very snuggle muffin going I
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: wish I was having a tea, not like on my
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: third round of Monopoly with some kid.
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's probably looking at you and like, oh, wow,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: you're free. You didn't marry a drump supporter. Look how
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: free you are. Look at your freedom of choice. Yeah,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: look at you get getting home to be in a
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: peaceful place where you don't have to listen to that nonsense.
• 41:16
  Speaker 7: You know, I'd love to share this with her. I'd
• 41:19
  Speaker 7: love to help her find that own freedom for herself.
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: But you're totally right. I can only do that from
• 41:27
  Speaker 7: a distance at this point, you know.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: And also, if you change your expectations, you're going to
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: be less disappointed.
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: That is so true. That is the greatest piece of advice.
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: I've been trying that lately.
• 41:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: One thing that helped me recently when I was in
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: a similar situation was and I don't know exactly who
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: this would be for you. For me, it was my acupuncturist,
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: and she does some energy work as well, but she
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: actually did a cord cutting ceremony for me with some
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: people that I was having a difficult time with, and
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: it really genuinely helped. It was something I had been
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: talking to my therapist about for months and months and months,
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: and having the sort of like severing the energetic tie
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: was sort of the last piece I needed. I needed
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: the therapy too, but this sort of helped me feel
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: a lot better about it and just detach from sort
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: of the results of what was going on in the
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: relationship and just be able to sort of detach.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: I do also think if you have tried distance for
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: a period of time and it's not working, and you
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: do really love your sister, it's you maybe be open
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: a little to trying another tactic, like I know you
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: tried that. You mentioned you did therapy, but maybe it
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: is worth having another conversation because sometimes like things don't
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: work and we just get stuck in a rut and
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: you only have one sister.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Sorry, you just told me.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: I'm always right.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: I can't lower your chair, please, I mean I can't.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: I don't understand what she's even talking about right now.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: No, I just feel like guilty if I've got two
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: daughters and they're like best friends right now, so I
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: just couldn't help that you don't have a sister though, right,
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: I don't. That's probably I love my Yeah, yeah, I'm
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: very close to my friend.
• 43:02
  Speaker 7: If you guys want to go intervene and help her out,
• 43:05
  Speaker 7: that would I'm totally.
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: It's hard.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: You should go see if she'll call in with you,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: and then we'll do a three way.
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: But we don't give solicit advice. We actually need the
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: people to call in because I.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, we can't solicit.
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we need to be solicited.
• 43:25
  Speaker 8: But I'm a total fan of that happening.
• 43:28
  Speaker 7: That would be great personally, I feel at this point
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: i've exhausted all my options, Like it's I've exhausted myself
• 43:36
  Speaker 7: exhausting my options like multiple times.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like it.
• 43:41
  Speaker 7: Thanks for the great advice though, right down, okay, cutting ceremony.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, look it up.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: See if there's somebody in your area that could do
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: that for you. That sounds like a great idea.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some energy worker in your mountaintown that
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: will no know what that.
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: Is for sure.
• 43:55
  Speaker 8: Yeah yeah right, I love that.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Thanks Nicole, Thanks to call take care. Thank you.
• 44:02
  Speaker 8: Yeah, thanks for rocking.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: No problem. I so contradictory. I just welcome to my life.
• 44:11
  Speaker 5: I know why them a mess?
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: No, you're not.
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: I just pictured like if she continues on down this path,
• 44:16
  Speaker 5: don't you realize? Like how do you heal if you
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: just cut somebody off?
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: But if somebody's an unwilling participant, what are you supposed
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: to do? Like if someone's not willing, like she's tried,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like if you give
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: your effort, like you can't be terrible.
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: Though, I'll be loyal for I just go and go
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: and go. I'm just like, make it work, make up,
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: I know, But.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Being in this sort of like you know, difficult situation
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: with her sister. It's like it almost takes up more
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: mental space for you because you're like, I've cut them off.
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: This is my boundary, and you think about it all
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: the time.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Whereas if you can get to the point where just
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: you're neutral, even if you're not having much conversation with
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: them or re engaging in relationship, it sort of just
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: turns off that noise, at least for mentad.
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: Anyway, I do I agree with you? Yeah, I think
• 44:55
  Speaker 5: cut the cord. Then name your baby after her.
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: That sounds like a great idea. Will you edit our
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: initial response to this one?
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm just gonna cut it all right. Well, we
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: have some other badly behaved parents here. So Kelly is
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: our next caller.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: She says, Dear Chelsea, my husband has a big family
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: that's very close and his parents love getting everyone together
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: as often as they can.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: He sounds annoying already.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm falling for devoulstre He has three sisters and
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: we all have kids now, so the gatherings have gotten
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: larger and of course a bit more chaotic with that
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: many people and kids involved. One sister in law has
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: three kids eleven and under her style of parenting is
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: well non existent. It's making the family get together as
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: completely miserable, to the point where I don't want to
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: even attend family parties, or if I do attend, it's
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: making me want to drink heavily, and I'm trying to
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: cut back these days.
• 45:45
  Speaker 5: But that's a whole other issue. The kids have issues,
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: that's just.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Their nature, and obviously that's not their fault to be
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: born that way. Anger issues possible ADHD. The problem is
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: these issues are not being diagnosed, so it's not being
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: addressed properly.
• 45:58
  Speaker 5: Then there's the nurture side of it.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Kids are totally fairal I'll admit I micromanage my kids
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: and I'm working on stepping back some. But her kids
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: are not being guided at all or raised at all.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: The TV's on all day long, they eat crap snacks
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: all day, they have no respect for adults, and they
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: wander off, kick and scream when they don't get their way.
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: The list goes on and on. This summer, at a
• 46:17
  Speaker 5: family reunion, one of.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: My sister in law's kids started chasing the three other
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: cousins with an aluminum bat, angry, yelling and ready to
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: swing if she could catch them all because she didn't
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: want to be splashed in the pool. I don't see
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: change coming from the parents anytime soon. They're oblivious to
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: the fact that their children are in absolute embarrassment. I
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: need your advice. Am I allowed to say something? Is
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: it my place since I'm just the sister in law?
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: Or should I just distance myself from these events where
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: they're in attendance?
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: Thanks?
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Kelly, Hi, Kelly, Hi, this is our special guest, Isla Fishery.
• 46:49
  Speaker 6: Kelly, I'm so excited to be on the show. Thanks
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: for taking my letter.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: Oh you're welcome. I would probably Well, you're a parent,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: so I let you go first on this one about
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: parenting other people's kids.
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: Like the kid with the bat? How old was the ali?
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: How old was that little one with the bat?
• 47:06
  Speaker 6: Ten years old? Chasing really really mad and very angry.
• 47:11
  Speaker 6: And let me ask, do.
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: You feel like, because what are the real impacts on you?
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: Is it more that they're modeling to your kids behavior
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: that therefore that could lead them astray? Because I can't
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: work out like you could just obviously. I mean, I
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: have come from a really big family and all my
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: brothers have loads of kids, and so everybody parents in
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: my family super differently, but we we have like a
• 47:31
  Speaker 5: rule where you know, we're allowed to parent each other's kids,
• 47:34
  Speaker 5: but we're all kind of pretty chill, so like no
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: one really gets stuck in unless the stakes are high
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: and there's like a knife to a head or someone's
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: like hanging in a garage or drowning in a dog bowl.
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: No one really. But I guess my feeling is for you, Like,
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: it's interesting that this is like provoking something within you.
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: It makes me wonder whether you it's more that it's
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: a mirror back to your own style of parenting, which
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: you're worried maybe either to too tense or or is
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: it more that you're it's the other thing that you
• 48:03
  Speaker 5: think that this like motley crue of you know, this
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: gang of as they sound whatever, are going to just
• 48:10
  Speaker 5: make your kids derail and you'll be lose all control.
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: Right Well, thankfully they do live farther away so we
• 48:17
  Speaker 6: only see them a few times a year. But it's
• 48:21
  Speaker 6: that it's that the parents don't ever chip in, like
• 48:24
  Speaker 6: I agree the village and yes, if you see another
• 48:28
  Speaker 6: child about to get hurt or maybe not being super
• 48:30
  Speaker 6: nice to the other one, yes you all step in.
• 48:33
  Speaker 6: You all say something. I don't mind if someone corrects
• 48:35
  Speaker 6: my children, but these parents, I would be raising the
• 48:39
  Speaker 6: kids if I stepped in. Oh, it's just not like
• 48:43
  Speaker 6: I don't want to. I have my own kids to
• 48:44
  Speaker 6: take care of them.
• 48:45
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 48:46
  Speaker 6: It's just it's a difficult situation. No one says anything.
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: Everyone thinks it's a problem, but no one's saying anything.
• 48:53
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's so frustrating. I feel the rage.
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that is frustrating.
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: I mean I get so angry hearing that. I always
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: say what I think. I've got idhds. So it's bad.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: If everyone feels that way, then you guys should all
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: band together and tell them that there are new rules
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: when you guys come. They when you have these trips,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: it's only twice a year, ye to mention. So if
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: they can't follow those rules, then they don't shouldn't come.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: And if you guys are all, if you guys are
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: all on the same page, you just make sure there's
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: a list of things. You don't even have to direct
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: it towards them. You should say before the vacation, here
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: are the list of behaviors that we're not willing to
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: put up with. This is These are the new rules
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: moving forward as combined families. However, many children are you
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: guys have together, which is how many.
• 49:35
  Speaker 6: In the immediate family? Probably nine kids?
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Great? Perfect reason, yeah, perfect reason to make a list.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: And these are the acceptable behaviors. If and when anything
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: outside of this happens, you won't be invited back. And
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: if you don't think you can, and it's not directed
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: at them, this is to all of you. You know,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: somebody puts the letter out and this is to all
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: of you guys, so that they're not being targeted because
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: it's not cool. It's really not your place to tell
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: somebody else how to parent, you know what I mean,
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: It really isn't it's not helpful. But if there's a
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: set of rules that aren't being followed, then they can
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: choose to not participate, you know, And and then you
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: have a reason to call them out. If they do
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: choose to come and break those rules and their kids
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: are one of them's running around with an aluminum bat,
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: then you have every right to go whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: We just saw what's going to be acceptable behavior and
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: what's not going to be acceptable behavior. But you have
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: to get everybody on the same page and all the
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: other families, or your other option is for you to
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: opt out of that vacation and not go.
• 50:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's funny. In your books you've mentioned the
• 50:33
  Speaker 6: ground rules for your vacations and stuff. That is a
• 50:36
  Speaker 6: good idea.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exact, I was going to refer you to my
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: last book. I wrote a bud letter to my whole
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: family with every these are the reason.
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: I'm doing this is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I'll send you the letter. You don't even have to
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: write one. You can just copy and paste mine. It's perfect.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, people send it to me all this tell
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: tell me all the time, they send it to the families.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: But it's true. Like I stopped going on vacation with
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: my family members who didn't want to bide by those rules,
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: then I'm not I'm not paying for your vacation. Then
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I'll go on vacation with my own friends. I don't
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: want to go on vacation with fucking children anyway.
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: You know, what do you think you're doing here?
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Like, seriously, I wanted kids to drink my alcohol. Then yeah,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: if you're running a fucking campsite, I mean, honestly, but
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: I think you should try that first, try to get
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: everyone on board, just as more of a general set
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: of rules for everyone, for all of your kids, that
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: it's acceptable to intervene if there's going to be violence,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: or if there's danger or if somebody you know, like
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: we want to have each other's backs within this like
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: small community family that we have. It's only twice a year.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: It's not hard to follow rules twice a year. And
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: see if that makes a difference.
• 51:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that sounds good.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: I do want to nitpick about one little thing here too,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: because in your letter you refer a lot to the
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: sister in law. But assuming that both parents are in
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: the picture, correct, they have a dad too, and so
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: make sure that these rules are not just directed to
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: the moms that they are.
• 51:56
  Speaker 5: Both parents are included and blamed.
• 51:59
  Speaker 6: Right, are both so unaware? And Yeah, it's insane how
• 52:03
  Speaker 6: much they don't pay attention. I think they'd be like,
• 52:06
  Speaker 6: what are you guys talking about? If anyone said anything.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just remember, like the thing that people don't
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: listen to is when they're judged. When you tell somebody this,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you did this. This isn't how you
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: do it. I'm you know. That doesn't help anybody blossom.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: It's when you share that helps people. You know, when
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: you share this is oh, this is I've you almost
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: like want to put the problem back on yourself, like
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: you're dealing it with your children, which is fictional. That
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: doesn't sound like what's what's happening, but it's almost like
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: you want a position it that way, Like I don't
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: want my kids to be out of control when they're
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: around all of their friends. I want them to have manners.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: I want them to look every adult in the eye.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: I want them to say please and thank you, like
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: you're you have a set of rules for your family,
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: and that that's a great set of rules for a
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: group trip.
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: It's not about.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Shaming them or saying, you know how how they're not
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: paying attention, how unaware they are. It's more about how
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: you want to lift the standards up for your own family.
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: Oh I love that.
• 53:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, those are all good approach ideas.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, so yeah, get on that and see what happens.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe you'll get a different result.
• 53:09
  Speaker 6: Well that sounds good. I appreciate it.
• 53:11
  Speaker 4: Okay, wonderful.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Thanks for calling out.
• 53:13
  Speaker 6: Kellykay, Thanks everyone.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: Bye bye Eyler. How did you and your brothers come
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: up with that. Did you guys agree that you were
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: going to be able to parent your own children?
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: No, we just sort of, I think because it was staggered,
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: people gave birth at different times and so just because
• 53:27
  Speaker 5: it's practical too. And the sisters in law are really
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: cool and there's not many egos in my family, so like,
• 53:34
  Speaker 5: no one's going to care and how dare you and
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: say that? I don't know, like we're all pretty chill.
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: That's nice, yeah, yeah, but I have to say, like
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: we do let our kids misbehave, like we're not like
• 53:44
  Speaker 5: a French family. If you can't, you would definitely not
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: want us on holiday with you.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: But maybe I would, and maybe I would. At least
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: that would at least be real and in my face,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Not somebody likes she's stealing
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: alcohol and then shoving it under a rental house, you know,
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: like empty bottles of beer under a rental house that
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, are you kidding me? No respect for other
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: people's property. I mean that was many years ago, by
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: the way, so that's not fair to say. But actually
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: I have plenty of recent stories too. Okay, we're going
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: to be right back and to wrap things up with
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: Isla Fisher, and we're back to say goodbye to Isla Fisher.
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: I love you, I love you.
• 54:24
  Speaker 6: Nice.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: The movie is called Now You See Me, Now You Don't.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: It's the third installment, but the second installment for Isla.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: And then the other movie.
• 54:32
  Speaker 5: Is called SPA Weekend, SPA Weeken, Spa Weekend. And I
• 54:35
  Speaker 5: have a movie called J Kelly Out. But I just
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: have a little Kelly, J Kelly.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: That's no, I'm just a little one, but supposed to
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: be incredible.
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: It's great, have you know, Ambach, I haven't say the
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: latest cut. No, I'm excited. I'm excited. So I've had
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: fun and I'm I'm hoping everyone comes to see this one.
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: I think it's uh, it ticks all the boxes.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad that you're having such a good time
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: working and I'm glad that you're having such a fun life.
• 54:57
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 54:58
  Speaker 7: I am.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: And you're an independent woman and you're thriving with your
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: new life and life and I just love it and
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: I love seeing you.
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: Always text you when you come to London, Nice.
• 55:09
  Speaker 4: I will, I'll text you.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: And Stella, Stella, this episode's for you. I just announced
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want good seats and
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: you want to come see me perform, I will be
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: on the High and Mighty Tour.
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com