Latest / It's Just Business with Lovie™ / Who's There for Me? eNurse on Caring for the Caregiver

Transcript

Who's There for Me? eNurse on Caring for the Caregiver · It's Just Business with Lovie™

• Lovie: we're talking about the burn out the boundaries and starting over, and it's just business, it's all about business and starting over sometimes. Sometimes we're starting over with opening businesses, starting over with readjusting our businesses, or expansion of our businesses. And this is an opportunity for not only caregivers, but anyone that is looking to start any type of digital business. You're gonna get some really good information from. E nurse here, my guest, but we're gonna get into that a little deeper in. We're gonna start off by talking about her book, which is really very helpful. And then she's gonna take us into starting over as a caregiver, or if you're ever interested in dip digital products, this is what we're gonna be talking about today. So let's start out with me giving a little bit about my guest, e Nurse. She is a registered nurse. She's a caregiver coach and a digital income educator with more than 35 years in healthcare experience. She is an author of the amazing number one bestseller book, The Ultimate Caregiver Guide, and the founder of coaching platform designed to support family caregivers navigating the emotional and practical challenges of caring for loved ones. Inspired by many families, she saw struggling after hospital discharge. ENurse created her caregiver coach business to provide guidance, validation, and real life solutions for caregivers who often feel overwhelmed, which I can agree with. I definitely can relate to that. Often feel overwhelmed and alone. It is a lonely thing, and it is a lonely task, but it's it's it's rewarding. Her work blends clinical knowledge with purpose-proven entrepreneurship. Helping caregivers build confidence, yet boundaries, and create a new opportunities through coaching, writing, and digital income. So you guys sit right here and we are going to get started. Thank you for joining us on It's Just Business with Lovie. eNurse if you wanted to just tell everybody a little bit about yourself. eNurse: Right, well thank you so much. So I saw a need out there when I started on on TikTok. I actually started on TikTok for passive income a digital marketing income. But after a little while doing this, I decided to switch it a little bit because I wanted to support regarding to the caregiver journey. Caregivers are having a hard time taking care of their loved one. Caregiving is not the same as it used to be. And I just saw so many caregivers coming on the platform frustrated, because that's how you get your frustration out. And then if someone don't understand your journey, they think that you saying something bad about just, you don't wanna do, you don't wanna be a good caregiver. So I I came on to just give practical tips how you can handle your frustration because it's not You, it's just you're so overwhelmed and burnt out doing these tasks every day without other people helping you. my mission for helping caregivers is to help them earn, heal. Because when you become a caregiver, you got to heal too to help you earn, heal, and also while you're earning your loved one. a lot of us think we can't continue to do certain things while we are honoring our loved one. So that mission is to help caregivers, family caregivers, or even when you're taking care of yourself, is to help you understand that you can still do these things, but also learn different techniques and different practical ways you can do it. Lovie: yeah, a lot of what you're saying resonates with me and my experience with caregiving and that's why I definitely say you have a lot to share, a story to tell that could benefit a lot of people, whether you're a caregiver, family caregiver or not. It's some of the things that I've learned from you or that I appreciate you speaking to I would say. is how family members that cannot be there for the primary caregiver to support the primary caregiver. Because as a caregiver myself, that's the one thing that I'm always looking for. Who's there for me? and I say that a lot. Who's there for me? And that's what I love about your morning lives is you not only speak to the caregivers, but you speak to the people that are supporting the caregivers and saying, Hey, let's not forget the caregiver. So after the thirty five years of nurse, what moment made you realize that caregivers needed more support and you needed to write this book. eNurse: Actually, I wrote the book in 2017 after I had taken care of my dad over 13 years, while he was after my mom died in nineteen ninety-four, I had to bring dad into the home with me. And so I wrote the book on the standpoint of the journey that I had of thirteen years of being a caregiver. Even though I was a nurse at the time, caregivers we don't know all the information that we need to have when we taking care of our loved ones. they don't tell us about all, power of attorney. a medical power of attorney over your finance. You know, if they own something, you don't wanna keep all the assets in their name. Some of the stuff that, people do under the rug, you know what I mean? So these type of things that I had to challenge with. As far as being able to communicate with my dad in a different way. making sure I had all the devices in the house what he need a shower chair whether he need a hospital bed how much the house build a bed cost because this cost only come out of your pocket. we thinking that they gonna give you the hospital bed. No, they are not giving you no hospital bed. You have to pay for so many out of pocket things. And so once I did that, once I I thought about it and I met a guy, someone helped me write my book. I wrote the book but he helped he put it all together for me. I gave him the information and so he put it all together for me. And so as when I became a nurse we always thought about when aging we want our loved ones to age in place. This is a thing called aging in place. And so that's what I put 20 things you must know promoting health and safety in the home. Because if you want your loved one to age in place, you have to have the home that they are living in, or the home, if you're gonna bring them to your home, they have to be able to age in place and be safe at the same time. Lovie: Yeah. eNurse: And so that and then again, I wanted something to dedicate for my family. Lovie: professionally over twenty five years and and you said that and I said it in introduction and I read it a little bit in your book, Synopsis that you've seen people come and go, you've seen the families have to endure these things. And one of the things you talked about that I wanted to say continue pushing and continue educating people is on getting those living wills or getting those power of attorney, getting the estate planning, whatever you have to do, do it early. because, my my dad was living so well for so long, even at his age, it's like, we don't think about it, but when you have that sudden illness to hit you that changes how you're able to navigate and move and unable to do so many things for yourself. it changes it it it quickly and totally changes your output and what you know needs to happen going forward. So that's when I realized it's like I like to tell people do it now, do it while they're well. Do it while they're well in their right state of mind because when you do it when they're sick, it takes more time. You have to pay to get notaries to come to your house. You have to and it makes it look a little bit more like we're trying to hurry up to keep you from It's to hurry up and keep you from from losing you but being able to maintain whatever you left behind and not have to go through probate for six years, ten years basically that's the beauty of doing it while they're well. Yeah. eNurse: probate you're not exaggerating because sometimes they put that on long haul because the thing is whatever state you live in they want that money just as well you understand Lovie: Yeah. eNurse: what I'm saying the state wants the set that your your loved one money so that's why we have to be able to to talk to our elders and let them know we're not trying to take anything from you. We we trying to protect your generation we trying to protect your heritage we just trying to pray protect your money itself And yes, then we have to be real. sometimes we don't want to be real with our loved ones. Baby, come on, let's just know that we're not gonna live forever. Right. And and when your time do come, you already prepared, everything is taken care of, you can't take it with you, come on, let's talk to our loved ones. When they're alert and orientated time for, if possible, the Person place thing and situations. Because if we can do that before anything all of a sudden dementia hits them, Alzheimer's hits them, a chronic stroke, things that take away their memory, any brain injury, and then they thinking that we're doing something undercover, we don't want to share. Or anything that might happen, that they have to utilize some of their money to go into a nursing home or rehab center, those type of things. I go back to when the pandemic happened I was working at the time and I was working from home but then they needed real good nurses to be at the bedside and hear me go look leaving my leaving my work from home job y'all and went and went went back to bedside nurses. Lovie: Yeah. eNurse: Now it was a catch to it too, because at the end of the day, I'm just gonna be 100. We made the most money I ever had during COVID. Nurse. Lovie: Okay. That's worth it. well That's scary, but yeah. eNurse: and so I was like, my girlfriend had called me and said, girl, you better come on out of retirement. Come on back to the bedside, Me and another girl that was working, another nurse was working from home, we left the job. We left our insurance company. And we went to bedside nursing. And I I don't have no regrets behind it, but I still say that We always need good nurses at the BSI and that family members will come in and say, You know what? I don't have a power of attorney. I don't have none of this, and a lot of and the thing was that people were passing away so quickly, and then they will have to deal with the social worker and figure it out figure things out and do the different things that allow you to get the the power attorney quickly versus, and then family member come in. Like you say, family member haven't seen them in a long time. Now they're in this bed, either, breathing with the a respiratory machine or they are usually sometime probably just brain dead and and family members like she don't want to be this way our our culture Lovie: Yeah. eNurse: We we like to pray about everything and say, Okay, let God do this and sometimes people be in that bed almost two, three years with reincrafting it. Lovie: Right. eNurse: and then get them shipped to a different place. we just have to be mindful of p other people's life. Right. and talk about end of life. we definitely have to have a com deep conversation about end of life choices, right? End of life things that we would like to have for ourselves or our loved ones. And when you have it that way, I think it's such a great thing. I did that conversation with my dad and I made sure we had everything together so I didn't have any issues. I thought I wasn't. However, you know how that goes. When you have siblings and then if they haven't put their part in it They wanna look at you like you the you're the black sheep of the family, but not really looking at you and saying, you know what, you did what you needed to do and we just don't follow suit. Sometimes that does happen, But So now when we when I come on, I put my more attention on the person that's being the caregiver. Because as the rule of thumb is this, that the person that's taking care of their loved ones will be sometimes will be unalied before the person that they're living if they don't take care of themselves. The person that with the diagnosis, the bad diagnosis, the bad illness, the person That person will become unalive first. and then what's going to happen to the person that you were taking care of? Come on now. it's about time that, caregivers start to look up and say, okay, I need a caregiver coach. Or I need a support group. at the end of the day, if you don't get a caregiver coach, at least you'll get a support group. And I realize, since I've been on TikTok. A lot of us don't like to invest in ourselves. Because when you invest in your own self, you're gonna see the difference. You're gonna see that that Lovie: Okay. eNurse: you feel better. Lovie: you just hit on something. You just hit on something. We don't want to invest in ourselves sometimes. my goodness, that's very profound. Stick to that. Invest in yourself. Wow. eNurse: at the end of the day, I have always invested in myself from school. it's not dimin' the light or tear somebody down, but we're looking to see, where we can get the help at. There's some free help out here for caregivers. I even say that. I give you the free help that's out here. And caregivers still gonna go and get the free help. So I'm just trying to figure out a way. What's gonna get it for our caregivers, a person that's sitting there doing everything 24-7 and feeling the pain and the discomfort and seeing their other family members. I think when we get so upset because we see our other family members doing life with their family, going on family trips, or going on trips by themselves, and working their jobs, buying their new cars and all that stuff, and then you get upset about it because you that person being at home 24-7 with your loved one. Lovie: Yeah. eNurse: and then that's when we get so upset about it. So that's how right there. Lovie: That part right there. That part right there. And I was so frustrated everything I've I'm hearing e-nerse say, I've experienced it. I have been that one where everyone goes on vacation and I can't go on a vacation. and that really hurts. And I'm the one that everybody's like, Well, I can't help you. And I'm talking about siblings who should be prioritizing. Well, I can't come this weekend to help because I have a doctor's appointment. And I'm like, Wow, I wish I could go to my doctor's appointment. But I couldn't. Because it was dependent on that. So I do really, really love you speaking to those things. So in your book you talk about twenty things every caregiver must know. We talked about a couple of So which of one of them do you feel was most surprising to your readers that you've gotten the most feedback from of your twenty things every caregiver must know that you that that was really profound or really made some significant change to any of your readers' lives that they may have brought back to you 'cause sometimes people feel things and they bring it back to you and sometimes they don't. eNurse: Mm-hmm. Usually the ones that I seen some of my reviews is the type of advanced directors. What is an advanced directive? What type of advanced directives that that they can have. so those that goes back to do not DNR do not resuscitate your order. DNI do not intubate. people didn't know the difference, we're gonna do comfort care but we feel like if our family ain't eating how they gonna survive so now you can have the artificial nutrition and hydration you can still have that because we don't want to feel like you ain't feeding them and that's why they're passing away. if you don't know the medical procedure and if you don't know the process of of passing away is a little different. And when when we as people don't start to realize it and look and start to look it up looking it up and seeing that different systems in our body start to shut down. And we might confuse you because we don't want you that, have aspiration to your lungs and then that'll cause the situation to go faster. Because we have to really talk to people about that. And so those type of things that they were s really some surprise about and one of the other ones was if you have all this information and then I put in in my book about the skin because as a nurse we do get patients from home that have these big wounds pressure wounds in their body and so we we always have to teach if you're gonna have your loved one at home with you and they can't move you must turn them every two hours you get a clock in a room, however you choose to do it, but that's a part of the the hardest job to do is to turn somebody every two hours. Lovie: So, I wanna talk about too. Let's look at those home health aides that come in to support the caregivers when a person is able to afford. a home health aid. Some of are able to get it through the insurance. If you're a veteran, you can get it through the VA, depending on all the paperwork and things you have to go through. So I am very thankful and praise God that I had a home health aide that came in and said, look, you're gonna have to flip. And when she comes in here to flip you, you flip. And so just shout out to the home health aides that come in to support those caregivers and and reinforce the things that we're gonna share. Let's just be real. It's not easy to get good aides because unfortunately another industry that they're underpaid. I definitely like advanced directive. I had no idea they gotten so complex now. anything else you wanted to share? eNurse: the other one I wanna say is the injury, the back injuries. as nurses, we got we get injured and so it's so important that family members learn the correct body mechanics when they're working with their loved one at home or, pulling them from chair to from bed to chair or from the car to to their wheelchair, lifting their wheelchairs, because we get trained regarding to body mechanics and not twisting when you turn in somebody you know what you have to do a pivot turn and so that's so important so I put that in there and then how you lift up stuff you just don't go and pull it up you have to bend down bend down to like you do on the squat so then your legs is using it, not your back. And so that helped as well. So those are important things too because if you get injured from a back injury, what happens when you think about that? Lovie: Right. I've definitely struggled with that. So in your book you talk about how to bend and how to maneuver to protect their backs. I've had to struggle with that. let's talk about the things that some don't want to talk about, but we need to talk about, and that's exactly where we bring this into is to just about businesses that income reality. So there are some caregivers that they have to give up their job. They have to leave their job to become a full time caregiver. sometimes the financial pressure becomes its own emergency, its own health because you're leaving your career and depending your loved one, they may not have the finances to help maintain some of the household expenses. It may be that if you're the primary income of the household and you're the one that has to quit your job If you're a veteran and make sure you continuously keep up with a lot of areas I know they don't like because it takes hours, weeks, and months to do your appointments at the VA. Make that time now while you're strong and healthy because you're gonna save time. it's just gonna take longer and longer and longer. So I'm thankful that he started that process early. let's just start talking about what did your experience do to teach you that staying financially afloat, when you're having to give up your job and you've actually started as a part of your caregiving coach program, Yeah, so tell us a little bit more about that and and how you coach people through these situations. eNurse: Well first I it has to be someone that's willing to change pivot and change their mindset. Because the digital product that I do have, it's a digital product that you have to be able to talk to other people in order to get them to purchase it. But just imagine working from home and it's your own business. This part of it is your own business and you can work from home at any time of the day. So if you're a caregiver, you can take care of your loved ones. on those couple of hours and then just work a c several hours a day at home on your own business and have and learn or you'll have a what we call a mentor with this program you have meetings on Mondays and Fridays with the mentor online everything just online Even your whole program is online. And so you learn you learn how to utilize the digital product that I'm talking about. But also you can write your own book like I did, your caregiver journey book. it's called passive income. And it's called attraction passive income. So you have to attract people to you so then they'll understand that this is something that they can purchase and also earn and earn that extra money that they need for themselves. So you have to have it in a mindset that remember this. their income is not a lot. Just think about it. And I could only share my own experience with my dad. My dad worked at the steel mill for 40 years, so that's why I never really worked at one particular job for a long time. Because when he finished with retirement, he only was getting $325 for pension check. Come on, let's be 100 for real about that. And then thinking that's gonna help him survive with his social security check wasn't that much. You understand what I'm saying? So out of the pocket expense came off on me. I had to pay the out-of-pocket portion for anything that he we needed. And so when you think about that and no, he didn't have RRAs and different things people have now. No, he didn't invest in any stocks, no, no, none of that. he unfortunately I had to put all the extra in so that's when it that's when it makes it tough for a caregiver. So I worked a full-time job plus help take care of my dad in my home. I did not quit my job. I worked my job and I got my my spouse helped me and the kids they were smaller. They did as much as they could so it wasn't just me doing it by myself. So we needed a team. But that's why I always tell people that you have to have a team to help you to be able to either not quit your job or you're gonna have to learn how to do something different. Might not be in the same niche or you have to imagine something different. And so the reason I talk about it again is this, that I had to when I retired And I was forced to retire due to an injury and now I'm here trying to figure things out. So that's why I talk about the passive income, because I started passive income and when I first started, I knew I had something else in me as well. So once I saw that, I was like, okay. But I needed to let people know the real, real me, not just the passive income portion, because passive income, it does rock regarding make you feel like it sells you you have to learn how the sell part of it how you're going to be able to talk to someone how how you can encourage another individual to purchase something from from you just keep it real it's it's the hardest thing even on when we are here on TikTok now and saying okay we have a community we have the super fan club the super fan and the subscription it's hard right now for people to just invest in the subscription caregiver. So then you can think about, okay, what your pain point. Where's your pain point? Are you running out of income now? You made a decision that you're gonna take care of your loved one at your home and now you don't have a full time job now. What what how you gonna help need money? There's nowhere around not being able to help. And also, I talk to people again, if you decide that okay, I'm gonna take care of my loved one in my house, but all of a sudden, what if something happened and that person has to go into a nursing home because he require more skilled care than you can actually do. You can't do all the G2 feeding and all the womb care and the folding care and all of that you just can't do it you understand what I'm saying so thank you ladies for coming over thank you so much it and now you you have to utilize his money their money to go into the facility and they're gonna be asking you about where the income is coming from Lovie: Yes. eNurse: It's a lot that happens in this journey. And right now, being transparent, I go and I read about different caregivers and it's hard. It's been hard out here. I talk about this young lady, she said, look, she she's taking care of her dad, she's taking care of her her husband and trying to take care of herself. and it's hard out here. So, y you just have to learn a different thing that you need to so that you can survive. So you want burnout, so you won't get overwhelmed to the point where you think I use the word crash out when you mean that. Lovie: I really appreciate that because, sometimes you're I I've met caregivers there, the primary in income to the household and they're having to pivot and do these things and people that are used to working in a career are not really fond of having to start a business. So if you could give them any encouragement with this program that you can get them started on to start a business What can you say to encourage them that I'm used to just working nine to five, getting my insurance, I don't know about starting a business? Because you even said yourself, you being an introvert, you had to figure out how to come out of this shell. What words of encouragement can you give them to say you can do this? Or success story that you could share that you can do this? eNurse: So it's plenty of success story inside the program, inside the legacy builders program. People are being able to get it done. However, for myself, my success story is that saying that I didn't freeze, I wanted to quit. You know what I mean? And then I kept born. I wanted to say, you know what, this ain't For me, the more I kept going to the meeting. So you have to be around like-minded people for a blank period. You have to be around people that's going to encourage you to say, okay, maybe you didn't get a sale this week or this month. Maybe you haven't even got as one sale since you had the program. But you have learned something about yourself. You have learned that you can speak up now. I haven't got my courage back. You know what I mean? Sometimes we can be at places and working in corporate job and we have gotten muted tick tock or you go into a community and you get mentored about by a multi-millionaire and and she was never a multi-millionaire what she was a mom with five kids and now she she's so successful and she wants other people to see themselves and say okay you can do this So I would definitely say you have to give your give yourself a chance. Lovie: Right. eNurse: I wanna say give yourself a chance and also if you don't wanna have a business, that's all back in the day that's how we survive. You have to learn something new. I always say keep on doing the same thing, inspect inspecting different results. That does not happen. 'Cause what we're gonna call it is insanity. Right. And so I figured that out myself I guess that's the advice. And so I went to about six or seven interviews. doctor said couldn't go back to work and I was low key going, 'cause that's all I've been doing all my life. I couldn't figure out what I was gonna do. When things start to get better I can't say it's been easy. That's what I Want to say to you guys, even me as a nurse over 35 years and doing a transition and coming on TikTok and talking about, caregiving and talking about my book and talking about passive income, it has not been an easy thing to do. I have had to go to counseling because I couldn't figure things out. out of character for me to show anything about crying, about my own personal stuff. we come on here, I was like an open book. I felt like, my god, I'm just an open book. And people say it's okay, just keep crying. I can't stop crying. And one time I can't I just couldn't let this kid the tear just kept going. But I'm saying that to say this that it allowed me to be me. so I have learned some vulnerability. on this platform. It's okay if you come on here and you have one of those days. we are real human beings, having human experience when we're taking care of our loved one. And in one moment at a time, we don't know when something's going to happen to our loved one. And so it's always good to be able to have a a community. I would definitely say if you can't do passive income, get in a community. It is free communities. Community is so important. That's how you're going to get past a situation. Also, you'll get past all the frustration, all the resentment, all the burnout. if you're in a community where you're going to get support as a caregiver, you definitely need to be in some type of community to get that information that you are not alone and you are not unseen. You matter just as much as everybody else. And a lot of times we feel like that. That whole 13 years plus that I took. care my dad I had to realize that I had so much resentment towards my siblings. I'm just gonna I had I couldn't stand them just say that I couldn't stand them my younger sister I can't do that I love daddy but I can't be going over there doing this and doing that all that stuff eventually my older sister came to help me take care of my dad but it was a challenge as well because when she was ready to go, she was ready to go. But yeah, this caregiver thing is not for the faint of heart. I want caregivers too to realize when you take that commitment and say I'm gonna be the caregiver, I want you learn about everything a caregiver has to do before you do this, I realized this thing in the whole you know, I was able to do a lot of things 'cause I was already in in nursing. so I knew, all the things that needs to happen. But if you are not in that type of field or you don't have the heart of a caregiver and then they want you to be a caregiver, first ask them what's all the things that I'm gonna have to do as a caregiver. 'Cause some caregivers think it's just you're gonna go there, fix a meal, you might have to do a medication setup, or you need to call the doctor one time. No, it's gonna consist of so many things and then you're making a commitment to someone that you're gonna be in it for the long haul. watching your loved one go from just being your parent to being the elder right parent. so that's why I myself, as a mom, I just say, okay. I tell people I exercise every day, every day. even though I have my own health challenges, I try to stay as healthy as possible, and and making sure I'm putting my stuff dots in a row. So you have to look at your own self-caregiver and put your dots in a row. my mission is that the moment you realize you have your caregiver, you need an opportunity. My entire time when I'm coming on TikTok, I encourage a caregiver. I I do a inspirational caregiver for inspiration. I want them to know that I understand their journey. I know our journey is not going to be the same, but I do understand what you're going through. all the different emotions that you're gonna be experienced. That's that's the emotional part. But how about figuring out a solution to that emotion? That's what I talk about. So when I come on live, I give you that emotional part. But I also before I leave, I give a solution to the emotion that you might be experiencing. So then you can go back. It's practical. I give you a practical tool to do now that'll be up to you if you do it and when you come to the line. But I truly believe if you do the practical two that I put out there, your style is feeling just a little better. Your heart ain't as not as heavy. And I can even say for Miss Lovie when I first met her. She she was heavy. Lovie: I was coming out of a really, really dark moment in my caregiver journey. so you found me to be heavy then. Had I met you and talked to you a month or a couple of weeks before that, it would have almost been let's start with C PR. It was that it was that heavy because I grew up my brother that's two years older than me we grew up taking care of our grandparents. my mom and my dad were really good with taking care of aunts and uncles that were aging and we were there. We were the ones that had to do it. He had to do the cleaning I had to do the cooking. what I did not learn and what did not prepare me for that is exactly what you said. What are all the things that I have to do when I take over as a primary caregiver. I saw my parents doing it. they did everything, but I didn't know the intricate details of what they had to do. So that was huge blow for me my dad's situation had gotten to a level It was me and him and I had to figure this out on the spot. did I bring him home prematurely? Yes. I didn't know how to do some of the bed care and things like that, but I just knew I had to get him home. And let me be honest and tell you why I had to get him home. when I went to the nursing home, to check on him, I needed to come put my eyes on him because I didn't trust the care that he was getting there. But I went in one time it may have just been my head. It may not have been actually what I heard, but I heard a little gurgle. And I said in in his sleep, I heard a little gurgle and I said no no more. So I went to the director the next morning. I said, What when is he scheduled to discharge? He Friday, but I don't think he's ready. I said, he'll be home on Friday. I didn't know what to do. I set up everything I needed to do so that I could come home. Why can't I come home? And I said, he's right. I knew I needed to prepare myself because I want to be home. thank God I have what I always call my brother in love. they came down and helped me for that first weekend because it was a holiday weekend. I didn't want to be a caregiver, but I wasn't going to allow my parent to sit in traumatic situation because that's the nature of health care, unfortunately. that's where my dark moment came because I had to do it. I had to figure it out. And I wish I would have met you during that moment because I would have been much more successful in navigating that situation. I wasn't living. I was existing. I was trying to breathe. I love that you're really taking a holistic approach to the caregiver. You're saying how to prepare yourself, how to prepare your loved ones. from my experience. get your power of attorney now. It it only goes into effect if you're incapacitated So you're in sound mind, It's just about getting the paperwork in order and save yourselves, I like the holistic approach you take to your coaching program. in your coaching program, do you have group coaching? or you have the subscription program or you have both? eNurse: have both due to the fact that I have over eleven K. So I have both programs here on TikTok. But it's just getting that initial support, getting the initial information. Start to feel good inside. Because right now I feel a lot of caregivers are hurting inside. And so my my platform is a faith-based platform. I must say that because I believe in Jesus. Jesus, God, the Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit, and also I believe in counseling, y'all. And so when that point comes, I'll be like, okay, girl, I can't do nothing. Let us find you a counselor. Because we have to heal ourselves to caregivers. once we get to the point where we got our hands up, we surrender. And we don't know where to go and what to do, and you looking for somebody to rescue you, but people not come to rescue you. You're gonna have to rescue yourself, and I'm just gonna that. Think about this. It's 63 million of caregivers out there, and 61% of them are women. Just think about that portion, what I'm saying to you. Women's 61% of the caregivers are women. We take on that. Now we've got some brave fruit brave men out there taking care of their mom or dad or uncle or somebody. But it's the majority of is women. Because he has small children. He has teenage daughters and so she wanted them to grow up with being a teenager. But what they usually do is go to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with them at in his own environment. That's that's about that money, but but at any r at any rate I was I've been trying to read her book. She wrote a book on caregivers. And the reason this lady wrote a book on caregivers is because she went to the neurologist. I just shared it. Yeah, we can you can do what you need to do. I share this. He went to she took him to the neurologist and something with the brain going on. And the neurologist didn't tell her anything. But when she got ready to leave, the neurologist said, She said, What can I do for myself to help him? And he told her, point blank, period. You need to help yourself. Because if you don't take care of yourself, he's gonna still be living. And this is the reason why. She wrote that book about caregivers. He wrote a book, and her husband is number one because you know why, but I ain't gonna say. Lovie: We ain't gonna say that. Money has power still in some things. eNurse: At the end of the day, it has always she been she done been on all these high profile TV shows talking about her book and plus it's Bruce Willis and everything, but at the end of the day, we always know that you still we bleed the same. I ain't seen nobody everybody's blood is red. I ain't seen no blue blood, no yellow blood is red, okay? Lovie: Read butt. eNurse: And that's all our planes, all our veins and arteries bleed the same, y'all. And so at the end of the day, when it's time to go to Jamaica or whatever, it's still gonna work the same way. The the inner life process is gonna be the same way, y'all. So just know that. So I just wanna close and say, if you if you are a caregiver out here and you wanna be in a a really good community, I have a community here on TikTok. So you would come and see. Me, I come live on TikTok Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 7:30 to 9 o'clock. Two hours talking about caregivers. And also I come on, thank you so much, BGB. And then I come on Sundays at 2 p.m. on Sunday for Sunday reset because I know on the rest of the days you're gonna be so busy, but Sunday we can reset. I got some other plans for myself and for these other days. I just haven't shared them yet, but I do do more. music as well and just something like inspirational music for our caregivers for a break or whatever. But thank you so much lovey for this opportunity. I really enjoyed this. Lovie: I did too. And I thank you for I thank you for blessing my my my community and your community. So let's definitely link up with eNurse. And if you are a caregiver or you are close to a caregiver and trying to find support or know of a caregiver that you want to support, whether they're on this app platform or not, just put in my comments and put in her comments, caregiver. that's that's all whether you or of someone that's a caregiver that could use either her book or use anything, just put in a chat caregiver on both sides and some blessings to come. And I see all of our mutual friends e-nurse popping from our lives to live supporting us. I appreciate you guys. Y'all guys are wonderful. I see BGD Sassy. working in neighbor they working they work in us they work in both sides of this neighborhood. Y'all are winners in my team. So I may have missed somebody that's been on. Mm-hmm. Some people have come on and dropped so far. So I do I'm sorry I missed a lot of people, but thank you, BGD, thank you, Sash, thank you, Sassy, and thank you, Boho, and thank you for anyone else that stayed and hung out here with me in the group. So just one more time, I thank you, Enerh. She is the author of the Ultimate Caregiver Guide, 20 Things You Must Know. and you guys eventually we'll be able to kinda get that here. But right now, if you put Caregiver in my chat or her chat, I will DM you and we will have something coming your way as a blessing to just say support and love on our caregivers, whomever they are, wherever they are, from me to you guys. we will send you that book. So I hope you put Caregiver in your in the chat. so that is all I have right now. I did I did recapping of some of the things we talked about that just really stuck stood out with me and that is definitely get those papers ready. will, power of attorney, advanced directive and trust. That's what you need to do to be prepared. Mentally prepared I can't think of how to push a button and be mentally prepared other than to get connected with a community like e-Nurse. And the last final word that I have to say is love on the caregivers for your family. Whether you are the primary, the secondary, or wherever you fall in in line, love on your caregivers. Call them, ask them how they're doing. So love on your caregivers call them. Actually, one thing, send them dinner. door dash dinner one day. send them a a gift card for Amazon. Let them buy something they want. and I'ma tell you it it brightens my day when people have done that. I want to invite you again to follow eNurse to join her community and I just sent all love and praises over there to your community, e Nurse, and thank you for hanging in here with us. Thank you for being a part of both of our communities and please guys, please follow her. I need you to as a caregiver, I need you to follow her and I need you to support her because it's people like her to keep the caregivers afloat with sixty three million caregivers and sixty one percent are women. eNurse: you can only put the information out. We have to be able to be people that say, I'm gonna invest in myself. do. Remember I was saying that I used to drink real those energy drinks. Mhm. And I s I don't drink anymore 'cause I invest in myself. So if I wanna do be in somebody community the the energy drink I would get three cost me nine ninety eight, ten dollars. Every day. Yeah, so you have to look at little things like that that you could take away off of your plate so you can invest in yourself to do something d different or just to see if it's gonna help you change how you feeling, about your loved one, about the caregiver journey. And if you can't do it no more, you can make a decision. Who can? Maybe you can do it in a different capacity and just being the advocate. Mm-hmm. you can be that person saying, I'm the advocate, I'll call I'll see where else I can go. I can see what community around our house, I can see maybe they make a decision. Maybe they might want to go to a adult daycare center somewhere. people who usually go to the adult daycare center, some of them are not averted orientated centers or so he knows what he wants. That's a little different. So it's not like you can force them to do what he says all the time to my daughter. I'm like, Girl, what he think he think he young or something? Lovie: Well look, let me tell her this you can't make this up. I'ma tell you caregiver journ caregiver stories, you can't make it up. eNurse: Yeah, you can't. It it's these are real life stories and people don't understand the journey. I feel like sometimes people don't understand until they get in. They don't feel like they're gonna have to care for no one. But it's untrue. somebody gonna have to be your caregiver.