Latest / Pod Therapy / #403: Attracted to Mentors, Podcasting Post Charlie Kirk Assassination

Transcript

#403: Attracted to Mentors, Podcasting Post Charlie Kirk Assassination · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn that Lee's really strong. But then
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what is she on? Like your knees are
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: on something, and I'm like, what the fuck is up
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: with this?
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: It's like Popeye, Just Jacob, I don't know how much
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: you know about Fatanyl.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: It's not really a performance in announcer.
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: I didn't say she was performing well from Fabulous Las
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: vegas Nea. This is pot Therapy, real people, real problems,
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: and real therapists. You can submit your questions anonymously at
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: pot therapy net or email us at pot therapy guys
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: at gmail dot com. And now broadcasting from the SJ
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: and the Ruckus Coy Pond Studios. That's Jim, That's Whitney.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: I'm Nick. It's time for so On Therapy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to the episode that is airing the week
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: of Scoop Fast Best Episode. We are so excited And
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: for those of you who aren't gonna make it this year,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I just want you to know the things that are happening.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: So I'm really excited. I was looking at a costume.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Do you really for ball? Yeah? So I'm taking and
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you it was not my idea. Did this
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: is Laura's idea. No fans even worse. Oh no, no,
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: who's worse than Laura? Smitty? No, no, that is a
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: that is a good answer. Don't tell me anything more, Smitty. Yeah,
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: it's gonna be great.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So at the last so I feel like I want
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: to educate the wider audience because it's so much fun.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: The very end of scoop Fest is the jock versus
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: nerd prom right calling her ball ball And so it's
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: a costume contest slash just fun, live party, live Bandshe
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: are they.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Playing the show?
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's so much fun. So they're great. The U
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: and the Ruckets are playing this year.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: They turned down another gig that was a higher paying
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: gig to play Scoop Fast and I said, I was like, no, no, no,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: you'all take y'all take the gig. You'll take the gig
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: that has the money. Yeah, bands in town. We will
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: find it because it's you know several months ago this week. Right,
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: I was like, yea, we will find another band. Not
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: a big deal. I just leave it up to the guys.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, the band. Let the band vote on it. Where
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: do they want to play?
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: They were like, she was like, oh, the band just
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: wants to come play scoop Festa.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: The band pop Fest. Oh yeah, yeah we're playing.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: And zero percent shocked by that because Scoopfest is so
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: much fucking fun and like just like they get worshiped
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and just treated like a great time.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: That is so much fun.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So the end of scoop Fest is this costume contest
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: that we call the Jock Versus Nerd Ball, and everybody
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: stresses up. We have people that dress up. Most of
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: the ninety nine percent of the themes are related to
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: ice cream Social, as it should be at your party,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: but every year there are several that are related to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: pod therapy in some way. Last year we had Whitney's Ducks.
• 2:53
  Speaker 6: Sell it.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Sammy Scoop showed up as Whitney's Ducks. So it's really
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: really cute. So there's always a few little references to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: pot therapy. Therapy is part of the ice cream Social Like,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: we're in.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: The same universe. You, we're in the same universe. Consider
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: us in the same universe.
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah that I feel like showing up in a in
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: a universe costume is perfect countable.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: So another thing was two years ago was Jim's Batman.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Remember that Jim's Batman Amazing, which it's one of my
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: regular work shirts. Stuff that's good. That's your sweating shirt.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: Speaking of which, the pod Therapy baitshop dot com U
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: store is going to be closing soon.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: We've kept it open for scoop Fest. It is available.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: So if you want any pod therapy merch, now is
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: your shot pasture shot. It's not going to show up
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: by scoop Fest. It will still be closed.
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: Well, this goes out Wednesday Thursday for the regular audience,
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: which is scoopides.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm just saying.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: If the general audience wants to buy anything from the
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: general you're moving.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: It's only going to be available.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: We kept it open until scoop Fest, so we haven't
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: We're not closing the minute, but this.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Is when it is still open. This is so we
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: have not sold anything in twenty twenty five. Excell. We're
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: doing exactly as good as I expected us to do.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: And that's not this is not this is not pity.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Please no, please, please don't buy anything about your pity.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah no, honestly, I'm keeping it open because I need
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: to do another round of mental fit T shirt. That's
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: right my myself because that's where I print my own shirt.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Ye, this is to switch over and do the do
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: the other one, because then it's free. You don't have
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: to because you guys pay for this store, yes, which
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: is why you're closing it. Yeah, it's caused the inside
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: baseball side of this store costs you money. My sword
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: doesn't cost me money. You guys can just do that.
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: It's free and then you could still use it because
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: like your personal prints. Close the store and then open
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: it again in Jacob's.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: Shop, not in my shop. But it's like it's same service,
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: you know what, Like make an offer and they just
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: take it away. You know, I'm just ups of this.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I'll sell pot therapy. Sure yeah, alright, awesome, it totally
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: works back keep the proceeds. I don't care really, everyone
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: to see pole with the shirts.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I will put pot therey. Sure, it's on them shop
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: storm for me. So scoop Fest is coming up. It's
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: gonna be a really fun time. If you as you're
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: hearing this episode on Wednesday or Thursday, scoop Fest will
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: have just been getting kicked off. It kind of kicks
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: off Wednesday night with an improv comedy show in downtown
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Las Vegas really really fine. Fu.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah the budget show. Have you ever been to a
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: bucket show? Yeah, I'll go to so much fun, so
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: much fun. It's a great time.
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: I have the night off, so do you.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna be there. Yeah. Absolutely.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: What a lot of people will do is either hang
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: out in the air like there were people hanging there.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: Will be hanging out in the area during both shows.
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: People who aren't seeing the show like they'll be it.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: So there's gonna be two.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Shows, and so when crowd one is in show one,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: everybody else is hanging out at the bar next door.
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: I need to buy tickets right now.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: No, No, it's a bucket show. You should throw money
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: in a bucket at the end of the show. Just
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: fills up when it fills up, and you just put
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: whatever amount of money you want to.
• 5:54
  Speaker 7: I guess I'm asking about space, not money.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, just hang out with me. I'm gonna VHK. You'll
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: just be in Whitney.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: We're a big It's Jacob for us. Okay, we don't
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: buy our own drinks because we ordered to couch.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: It's five.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so Wednesday night is an improv comedy show,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and then Thursday scoop Fest officially kicks off over at
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: the Orleans. I am going to be officiating a wedding
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: that day, all right, so I will not be joining you.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Then Friday, we have a whole day of trivia contests
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: where this year Pod Therapy is competing against ICs. We
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: finally got our shot at the Crown, bringing it down
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: the old men. It's about fucking time I played this
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: undercard match against Morning Murders.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Forever, the belt will not be on the line. I
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: assume that I actually thought that we should so whenever
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I noticed that we were against your guys belt. Yeah. Yeah,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: So I was trying to come up with a fun trophy.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: I called an award shop to see if they would
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: three D print an award of Jacob, and the flight
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: was going to be for Jacob, I mean Jacob. We
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: don't need to do that because Jay can inform me
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: in the pre show that we actually have five trophies available.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Oh that's right, yeah, keep competing with my best Las
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Vegas trophies.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: Great idea, Yeah, put them all in the line. That's right,
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: zero percent Las Vegas trophies versus yours.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: They have a few too. And then here's the thing.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I don't care.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't trust you to fight because just the yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: exactly zero present.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: I just I just want a good show. Yeah, I
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: just want people to have fun.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: So Friday is going to be this really fun trivia
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: contest and a lot of great entertainment, live variety shows.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: It's a great time than Saturday. More of that deeper
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: dives into some really great podcasts that are going to
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: show up and entertain.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: And then it's just really fun. Then after we at
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: the bar, it's a great, great time.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: We often do uh, we will at least record the
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: trivia stuff, and we usually publish the trivia stuff. We
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: never yeah, we never promised that we're going to publish
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: the trivia stuff because it is a live event and
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: who knows.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: But we will probably so far every year that we've
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: been on it, you always send me the audio and then.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: We always we always publish it.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: So if you are not part of our patreon, patreon,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: dot com slash therapy, I really encourage jumping in there,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: get in on the patreon because good one well honestly,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: just for a month, do it. Even if you're like,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: fuck this show, I just tune in on a board.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: If you're only signing in for a month. It only
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: cost you ten months. Yeah, this is the month. It
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: costs you ten bucks to sign in for the month.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Who cares. It gets you in there, It gets you
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: in there. I bet you'll find something that you like.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You're gonna have fun with it because this month we
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: are going to be releasing our trivia battle against ICs.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: We might even release some bonus content of other people's
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: trivia battles because it's a playing fucking time. If we're
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: part of it, we'll make sure we pump it through.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And then we'll also be trying to like broadcast live
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: and just doing things for our social media. Everything always
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: pumps through our Patreon, So check it out. It's gonna
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: be a really good time, even if you cannot make it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Obviously to scoop Fest, we want to pipe you in.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: We want you to be part of it. One of
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: the big reasons we started this show and it have
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: been a part of it for so long is the
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: human connection.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: For us.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not about the multi millions of dollars
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: we make in every single week. It's really about the people,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: and so this is our chance to be a part
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: of that. So check it out Patreon dot com, slash therapy.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: If you guys are live streaming anything that's related to
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: pod or, I'm sorry, this really scoop fest. Is your
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: twitch gonna carry that? Where where would they find if
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: we If we.
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: Stream anything, it'll be on our twitch, which is the
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: Bucket Show dot com.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, copy that the check Bucket Show dot com. But
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: it will also be on our YouTube and all that
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: kind of stuff. It's going to be a fun time.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: We don't do We don't do a whole lot of
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: video live streaming though. Yeah it gets weird live streaming
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: from live events, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Because you're not able to interact with the online audience.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: It's just such a big it's that and like there's
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: stuff happening that is in context of things that are
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: happening live, like a part of the context the event.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: So it's going to be a really fun time. We're
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: really excited for it. But check it out patroon dot com,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: slash therapy. We will try yelling that racial slur over
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: and over again.
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: There is probably should have been here for it was
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: behind the there's there's always there, and there's contents is racism.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, rearing its ugly head and I'm trying to
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: fight it by participating in it.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Anything that I'm a part of usually fails. And this
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: is me, this is me sacrificed. There you go.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: We got some great questions for this very special scoop
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Fest week episode and we're starting off the lineup.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: I know, we got a lot of just like laughers,
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: and we're gonna we're gonna have a good time with
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: all the questions today. If that's too serious, no, no,
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: don't worry about it. It's all a good time.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: No, it's gonna be nice, easy sailing show. Keep it nice.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: One thing that I know about one of the questions,
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: it's gonna be great.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: First question leading off the order today is over attachment
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: issues from pal Molly. You know it's gonna from Hey, Jim, Nick, Jacob,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: and Whitney and most important, the intern in the broom closet.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, hello there, come out. I know why are you
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: a jake? Tell you get you. I just wanted to say.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: My name is Molly. I'm a twenty six year old female.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: I've been.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I've been in therapy for five years. I'm dealing with depression,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: anxiety and complex PTSD. I'm going through a particularly difficult
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: time with depression and got to second base for the
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: first time in my life. This past month, I wrote
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: down how my effects would be split and signed h
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: my name. However, I'm back on the straight and narrow
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: and doing my best to fight back. My problem is
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: emotional regulation and creating strong and involuntary emotional attachments. I
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: work in a male dominated industry.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: My cycle is this.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I'm paired to work with an older man who is
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: my boss and in a mentor position. I'm the apprentice,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: and within a month or two I start to over
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: attach to them. One of the signals this is how
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: happening is that I write a poem about them haha,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: or I type and video journal to offload the emotions,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: which are overwhelmingly good in the beginning. My thoughts turn
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to them at all hours of the day. I replay
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: moments from work, ponder their personalities, good and bad, or
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: extrapolate on little information they've given me about their personal lives.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: My priority at this stage is to go to work
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: so I can see them again. I replay my mistakes
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I've made and agonize about having disappointed them. I want
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: them to leave my life, which is an eventual reality
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: as the different jobs always end and we travel on
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: to the next one. I don't necessarily put these men
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: on a pedestal anymore, but since I feel flooded with
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: dopamine just being around them, it definitely colors the world rosy.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I feel alive, motivated, and social. I'm attracted to their kindness, humor, quirkiness,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: teaching ability, music sharing, vulnerability, and storytelling about their lives,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: and if they're easily frustrated, I feel compelled to do
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: what I can to help. There may be a flickering
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: sexual element that accompanies all this, but if I focus
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: on those thoughts, the reality reality of it quickly unravels
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: any sexual interest.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: At this stage.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: A great amount of the flickering of the if you
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: will ash goto at this stage, A great amount of
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: energy is put into maintaining boundaries. I don't get too
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: personal and try not to overstep. We're working side by side, though,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: and I love making people laugh and trying to connect
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: on some level. However, I'm trying to prove to this
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: person that I don't want to break up their marriage
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: or cause them any trouble. I'm trying to experience this
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: joy in a measured way, which can be difficult when
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: it feels like pure sunshine being around this person. If
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I'm disregulated that day, the tightrope between anxiety, joy and
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: sadness is exhausting. If I feel I'm making them uncomfortable,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I begin pushing away. I get disregulated and begin to
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: ruminate well. My coworkers eventually pick up on my attentive
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: listening and giggling behavior, then subsequent emotional turbulence. I wear
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: it all on my sleeve, as I always have. The
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: reactions usually begin with disbelief, confusion, and fear, and shift
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: to them pulling away. These people are all fathers with
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: adult children. Their uncomfortable reactions to my emotional state sends
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: me into a shame spiral, and I get super anxious
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: around them and overthink every interaction, which exacerbates the whole ordeal.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: The second piece of this cycle is that these men
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: talk to their other coworkers all the way through the
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: grapevine until a majority of the crew is aware of
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: what's happening, and it begins to feel like a joke
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: that I'm not in on. I wish it were a
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: joke that job grapevine translates to a larger grapevine of
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: mutual people who know me or whoever I fixated on
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: within my organization or quote small town where gossip travels fast.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Mood feels tied to their reactions of me, and I
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: feel sometimes angry at their judgments or otherwise internalize my
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: sadness and blame myself for feeling these things. Even after
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: the jobs end, I may be spinning my wheels for months.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: My longest stretch of rumination and yearning was two years.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Do they make a medication for this? I'll take any
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: two cents that you have. Please advise and thank you
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to your intern for doing God's work.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: You'll get your rest back in that book. Never come
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: out of the closet. So this is a okay, Whitney.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I am going to be so fascinated in your take
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: on this because there is a stereotype, a trope, and
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: there's tropes about all genders, right, there's tropes about all things.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: But the trope is that, and obviously it's not extremely common,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: but there is a trope where, Okay, the woman is
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: connected to, sometimes attracted to, but interested in and like
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: emotionally desiring of the elder guy's approval somehow, and this
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: writer kind of puts some skin and bones on that
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: experience and kind of shares like, yes, it is kind
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: of like a fatherly dynamic.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: I kind of like this guy. I think he's charming.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I kind of dig that he's a little bit in
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: authority and a little bit older than me, And like, no,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: it isn't necessarily sexual for the writer. They're just like
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I can't help it, Like I'm just enamored with this person,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: and it kind of starts off really innocent, but then
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I start to show I have all these tells where
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: like I can't help myself. I'm clearly enamored with them,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and then it makes it awkward and it's weird for everybody.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: So this is an interesting dynamic, right, I feel like
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: it's a dynamic that men and women could relate to.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: But I think the trope is that a lot of
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: women will talk about this, Like you obviously work with
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of women in therapy.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Is this overblown?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Is this something that like society thinks happens way more
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: often than it does, or is this something that's like
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: it does happen, and it's like there's a reason for this.
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it doesn't happen as much as like
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: society would like to think.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: The thing that I watch it almost happens every other video.
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's really common, like this letter aside, this
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: is something that I think older men want.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Does it happen more? I think it's something that they
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: think happened.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: More frequently or less frequently than getting stuck under the
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: coffee table.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that thing.
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: If you're with plumbers? Are you there a prentice? So oh,
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: this was the word I was looking for. Okay, So
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: I think that things that stuck out to me here.
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: There's a few different things. I mean, the obvious route
• 17:49
  Speaker 6: I would want to ask about is just like what
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: was your childhood like, you know, like what's going on
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: with like male figures in your life.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: And general hypotheses.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: If you had a female patient that came in with
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: this kind of a story and said, look, you're just
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: meeting me for the first time. In my industry, there
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: are a lot of elder guys that tend to be
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: an authority positions. My role tends to have me cycle
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: through and pair with those guys as part of their
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: squad for a while. And when that happens I develop like,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: definitely a disproportionate amount of attachment. Then the situation really
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: should like it's beyond professional. I'm enamored with them. I
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: feel really personally aligned with them. I kind of get
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: obsessive over them. What would your hypothesis be about a
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: female who told you that about her history?
• 18:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think the fact that they mentioned that it's
• 18:35
  Speaker 6: happening with a certain age of and gender obviously, but
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: like age and gender, that's what leads me kind of
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: down that paths. I want to ask questions about about
• 18:46
  Speaker 6: what their childhood or what their upbringing was like, or
• 18:49
  Speaker 6: who were the impactful people in their lives or who
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: was not there.
• 18:52
  Speaker 7: So I mean that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: Usually goes toward like father figures or you know, was
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: your parent around your father figures.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: Which you assume absence is that usually the guess.
• 19:02
  Speaker 7: It could be absence.
• 19:03
  Speaker 6: It could be just that they were there and not
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: giving attention, you know, Yeah, emotional absence, I guess, yeah,
• 19:10
  Speaker 6: is what that would be. So that's that's one thought.
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: I know it seems really cliche, but I would be curious.
• 19:16
  Speaker 6: That's probably the first route I would go down, Like
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: we want to we want to kind of like work
• 19:20
  Speaker 6: with what we think is not obvious, but you know,
• 19:24
  Speaker 6: go down that route first. The second thing that kind
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: of came to mind, I started thinking about this term, uh,
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: and I don't think it fully fits this, but like demisexual,
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, what is that? It's usually when you start
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: feeling attraction towards the only way you feel sexual attraction
• 19:42
  Speaker 6: is somebody that you're friends with, Like you have to
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: have that.
• 19:46
  Speaker 7: That you wouldn't do well with one night stands.
• 19:48
  Speaker 6: You'ren't like, oh yeah, I just want to go have
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: sex with somebody because I'm turned on right now.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Right, it's like emotional connection, you.
• 19:54
  Speaker 7: Know, Yeah, I'm not.
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: I'm not really turned on. Even if you're a super
• 19:58
  Speaker 6: hot person, like right, that just doesn't matter to me.
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: If we're not clicking, if we're not like connected emotionally,
• 20:05
  Speaker 6: then I'm not turned on by Oh so it's not
• 20:06
  Speaker 6: gonna happen.
• 20:08
  Speaker 7: So I kind of wondered about that listening to this.
• 20:10
  Speaker 6: It's somebody that they're spending a lot of time with.
• 20:12
  Speaker 6: I'm guessing if they are a mentor position like I mean,
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: I don't know. In the work environment, you're around these
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: people like eight hours a day, and if you're working
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: in person a normal job, you're around these people a lot,
• 20:27
  Speaker 6: and so I think there's that natural build up of
• 20:30
  Speaker 6: like a friendship or like emotionally connecting to someone. You're
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: gonna share about your family a little bit, You're gonna
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: share about your hobbies or whatever, and you kind of
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: get to know the person just in general. And if
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: you naturally are kind of a demisexual type of person,
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: then that could be what's happening here.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: Now.
• 20:48
  Speaker 7: The thing that I'm like unsure about.
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: Is they said it doesn't always really express as sexual.
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: They're like, I mean, yeah, I think that, but like
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: it's not one hundred person clickers of it.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: But then it's like it kind of quickly dissipates.
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: So my last and third thing that came to mind,
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: I had to look up the word because I was
• 21:04
  Speaker 6: blanking on it. But this is something I've actually had
• 21:08
  Speaker 6: two clients who were not female, not not assigned birth
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: at female I should say, or assigned female at birth.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: That I say, yeah, so assign a female?
• 21:18
  Speaker 7: Did I say that birth that female?
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: But both of them are younger too, like this person's
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: age or younger, and both of them expressed forms of
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: like limerens.
• 21:29
  Speaker 7: Have you Oh yes, unpack, yes, okay, so this does
• 21:34
  Speaker 7: not get used to not no, I agree.
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: And the first time I heard this in session, I
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: felt stupid because I was like, I don't know what
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: this fun.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I don't remember learning it in grad school email feeling
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: currently don't remember learning about this in grads yea, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I for read it. I was like, these are like
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: rhymes that start with the same letter or something, right,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I think. I know I was a thingist from Nantucket.
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: And this is probably me being a bad therapist. But
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: I did not tell them I did not know what
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: this was. I kind of like went through.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Its confidently not and go like, oh exactly.
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: So anyway, afterwards I googled and that was very helpful
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: for future sessions. But it's an involuntary state of obsessive,
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: passionate and idealized romantic desire for another person, characterized by
• 22:28
  Speaker 6: intrusive thoughts, a longing for reciprocation, and a strong emotional
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: dependency on the other's perspective perceived.
• 22:35
  Speaker 7: Feelings for them. Nick So unlike love, it's based.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Are you saying you have that for me? I know
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: we all know that.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Like trying to figure out I feel like you don't
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: respond to the poetry that I send you, and I
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: don't know if you see it, you know, because like
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I write it, I don't like.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: Okay, we've already established that Nick does not do well
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: with emails. Yeah, yeah, well, I mean these are not
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: I write them on cards and I mailed them.
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: But I love This last part says, unlike love, it
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: is based on uncertainty, and individuals may neglect their own
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: lives to focus on the person of their affection known
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: as the limerent object.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Anyway, So but that's so, how is that different than love?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Because it's an obsession with somebody who doesn't have any
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: connection to you. The uncertainty of the connection fuels your
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: obsession with that person. Yeah, so it's much closer.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: To like, sorry, that just describes everyone I've been in
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: love with, right, Yeah, you take no notice. This is
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: just normal, like me, Right, this.
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: Is going really well, Right, we're validation.
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: I wasn't going to say obsession, but I was going
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: to mention that these people seem to be occupying a
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: lot of real estate, yes, in the writer's mind. Yeah,
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: and how often does it happen when you have someone
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: occupying all that space in your mind that like after
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: a while you start thinking about sex a little bit,
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: and since that person's already in your mind, like now
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking about sex with that pressure.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: So okay, So follow up question here, So the Limericks thing,
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: So are you saying that for the writer if let's
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: just say one of these men, yeah, starts to reciprocate,
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: would that mean that Molly then would just it would
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: just kind of fizzle out, like it would just kind
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: of go up?
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Or is it cookie?
• 24:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know the answer to that, id.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Whitney, I know here, Okay, so I just admitted to
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: being a really bad therapist and I just rubbing her
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: nose in it. You're kind of a dick.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: So, like I have had patients over the years who
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: have had very similar experiences of Molly men and women,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: you know, to point that out. Yeah, but you know,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: it's interesting because I've definitely had cases where that that
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: hypothesis has been tested, Nick, where they've they've developed like
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: they tend to be more attracted to a mentor kind
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: of type guy. And it's interesting because I think part
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: of the chemistry, part of the attraction is that they
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: do feel safe with that guy that he's trying on
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: the clothes of mentor, right, and so he takes this
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: position of sort.
• 25:28
  Speaker 7: Of there is some caring involved.
• 25:30
  Speaker 6: Usually it's yeah, like the mentor cares about your life
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: being These would be like their friends who like with
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: other people sometimes but they just spend a lot of
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: time with them, and they're like, oh do I I'm
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: just thinking about.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: The mentor seems to care for you.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: You should you owe that mentor some amount of immediate
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: deference of like you're not just the you know, yeah, yeah, yah,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: it's really close to that. And so like you're you're
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: trying to like impress this person you care about this person.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: They seem to care about you, and so they get
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: all this extra like capital in your relationship immediately just
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: because of their posture and their position. But then the
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: person in cases that I've had this, they've often told
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: me like, I'm kind of attracted to this person in
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: some ways, maybe because they are not immediably obtainable. It's
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: not this person who's actually an option.
• 26:18
  Speaker 7: I feel like if they did reciprocate, there would be
• 26:20
  Speaker 7: a way.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: And so like I've had this situation where the man
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: or woman in this situation will signal, you know, that
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: giggling kind of.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Affection. Other people kind of pick up on it.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: They're like, hey, I think this mentee is kind of
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: into you, and mentor for whatever reason, is like, oh,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I really do like this person. That would be neat
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: if there was a connection, and so they may pursue
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: it a little bit, and then the person in Mali's position,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: oftentimes not always, but oftentimes immediately loses interest. It almost
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: becomes hurt and it's like, I can't believe you would
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: be predatory at me. That changes my views of you.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I thought you were this upstanding, noble guy. I had
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: infused all this blank sla kind of energy.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: You don't even have to go through all of that.
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: You can just say, like, I had a mental image
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: it was a relationship was yes, it was ideal, and
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: now you are executing something that isn't.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: That's not my intention was. But sometimes it can look
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: kind of similar.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: You know, if you if you're kind of giggling to yourself,
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: and I say this from my own experience too, if
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: you're kind of giggling to yourself, you're if you're if
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: you're having fun, if you're being flirty, if you if whatever, you.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Are kind of a giggly flirt and then people turn
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: and you go, oh, ship withn't it?
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah right, no, no, no, no, everybody. Jacob is a
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: giggly flirt everywhere you see.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Him at the gas yeah, yeah, he's always te heeing,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: you know, just making conversation with other dudes at the
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: next pump at the gas.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Station, just always with his ts. So yeah, it's a
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: fascinating dynamic.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: And I think that we're like looking alongside this, Molly
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: and just appreciating you are not alone.
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: It is.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: It is a bit of a common, you know, theme
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: that we've seen in a lot of people's lives. Oh,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I just remembered we should should do We need to
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: go back and revisit the second base thing. I thought
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: about that, and we need we need to tell listeners
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: what that what that is? Yeah exactly, Yeah, I'll do
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: it really quick. So in the history of the show,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: we use the metaphor of the baseball diamond to help
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: kind of visually capture the concept of suicide danger, and
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: so we talk about first base being very very common
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: where people just have the idea of like, ah, man,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: I might want to end my life. What's the point
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: of being alive, and that therapists don't necessarily try to intervene.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: At first basis, it's super super common. And second base
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: is where people start to get serious about it and
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: they start to say, you know what, here's the method,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: here's how I would end my life, and that kind
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: of sounds practical. It's not like a dragon would eat me.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: It's like, actually, here's a real way that I would
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: end my life. And that's not make believe and even
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: therapists can handle that too.
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: It's it's the type of thing like, right, like I
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: have access to these pills, right, and if all these
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: pills that would be that would be here's.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: This reasonable way that I would actually hurt myself. And
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: when therapists here that our ears kind of pop up.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: That's when we're starting to be like, okay, now we're
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: leaning forward in our chair a little bit. We're starting
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: to get a little bit closer to wanting to intervene
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: on that. Third base is where it starts to get
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: really practical. That's the method, that's the how, that's the when,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: that's the why. That's when a person starts completely getting serious,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: so they're planning it and then stealing home is whenever
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: they're they're getting to the point where, yeah, this is
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: all coming together. It may turn into a real action plan.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: This is becoming real in the world. So we use
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: that metaphor in the history of the show. And so
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: when the writer says I've caught myself kind of at
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: second base, they're saying, hey, this has caused me so
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: much distress. I know we're talking about infatuation. I know
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: we're talking about Limerens. I know we're talking about Oh,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I have this crush on mentors, And I don't want
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: the host to get too distracted by that into thinking
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: this is some innocent, benign thing, because I've gotten a
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: second base on the suicidal diamond here where I've thought, man,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I'm so discouraged by this that maybe I can imagine
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: hurting myself.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: So we want to take that seriously.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: You know, even as we're normalizing it, I think as
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Whitney and I were starting with, is normalizing how common
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: this is, we do want to also take this seriously
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: and meet Molly where she's at, where she's asking these
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: honest questions of like, hey, do y'all have any feedback,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: any advice on this? You know, what does a person
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: do when they're having this kind of like emotional connection
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: to these kinds of issues.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think that's all the time we have. Yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: thanks anyway, Molly, good luck gets.
• 30:23
  Speaker 6: I know it's like, what do you do with those
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: feelings that feel so big that you can't control them?
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: And I mean it's interfering with your work. I don't
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: love that for you.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Twenty six Okay, Mollie said she is a hot, supple
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: nineteen year old. That's what's aird thing for somebody to
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: say that I've seen both.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: The word that was a nice clean drop though, right
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: in time for Scoopfest. That is definitely going to be
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: on people's phone, right.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: So, but do you think there I mean, could I
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: realized that these two issues correlate, but could the depression
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: be a standalone as well?
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: Sure, I mean that you know she's wondering, Yeah, that
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: you know that this is something that maybe she is
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: a diagnosable condition that she's you know, major depressive disorder
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: or something like that.
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: But then that answer popped into Molly's head immediately yes
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: or no answer? Sure, as soon as you said it.
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: I bet I mean she's like, yeah, either then.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Or oh yeah, there is. Yeah. And then and this
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: just adds to it, exactly, just yes, exactly.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: A really good point too, because this could be a
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: form of self medicating, because Molly talks throughout her story
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: of emotional dysregulation right and constantly refers to I become
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: emotionally disregulated, but I get this stabilizing dopamine hit of affirmation.
• 31:55
  Speaker 7: Value, sunshine and rainbow right from my.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Connection to the mentor, And so I start obsessing over them,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: seeking them out, wanting to connect with them, really becoming
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: enamored with all their little like unique qualities.
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: That's fun.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: Like that is exciting, like any kind of new relationship
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: or when you meet somebody and you kind of start
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: to click with somebody and you're like, oh my god,
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: this could develop into something very exciting. And yeah, and
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: then because I can kind of relate to this to
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: some degree, I remember back, you know, in my early
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: dating days, you know, meeting someone and then.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Before he got engaged. Yah, let's say set that record. Yeah, yeah,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: a lot of dating. Yeah, Okay, settled down within the
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: last couple of days.
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: No, but uh, that is exciting. And you meet somebody
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: and then you have a really good date. It goes
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: really well, you're talking back and forth. There's kind of
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: this excitement, but there's also kind of this thing that
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: like when it happens too fast, it gets I don't
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: know how to describe it, but like too real and
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: too like, oh, I was really thinking, like I was
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: really enjoying the excitement and get to know you phase,
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: and now I feel like I know everything about you already, right,
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: and now it's like, oh, the hunt feels like it's
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: kind of over interesting.
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, I feel like that happens a lot with
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: with people who are fresh out of relationships.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's that checks out.
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, based on what you've heard, right Nick people, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: it makes sense.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No, but I think Nick, you're you're bringing up something.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: I think it's actually really philosophically profound, like the dynamic
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: that we often get into with the mentor mentee relationship,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: and I can relate to this, you know, from the
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: other side of it.
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: Right on.
• 33:42
  Speaker 7: That was the other thing.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: I do have an intern, but like there is mister James,
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: get your ass back in the closet.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I will tell you when you come out, so I
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: can appreciate this is not as fun as you said,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: it was going to be you stay in the.
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: Closet, so I can't even Jacob's house. Now that's fine
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: that you could stay in Jacob's house, that's fine. Help
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: out with scoop Fest, Jacob. Don't forget to feed her.
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: She needs food several times.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Take care of it.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Well, now you're just gonna have doctor Jacob put her
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: to work for scoop Fest. She can help fix your deck,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: it'll be She's really useful, very handy. No, But like,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: I appreciate how complex this dynamic can be. Like, and
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: especially the thing we tend to hear more of in
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: society is the empowered male, the mentor figure overstepping right,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: And we've we've all heard that storage Yes, taking advantage overstepping,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: creeping out the other person and misperceiving the dynamic and
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: believing that there was a connection there wasn't and then
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: getting egg all over their face.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: And it's a big mess. I can appreciate that.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: It's usually like whites, Yeah that's what that is. Yeah,
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: so it's a whole almelet. Yeah, it's the whole bit.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: So, like I can appreciate how that can happen. This
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: goes back to what eggs there is.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: So Nick was talking about how there is this inherent affirmation,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: right because this person is your mentor. They have a
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: bias towards supporting you and encouraging you and liking you
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: in this unearned way because you've been assigned to them, right,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: and so they they take you under their wing and
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: they're looking for reasons to like you, to get along
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: with you. You're not really being tested, and so there
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: is this huge dose of dopamine. And I think the
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: same thing can happen shoe on the other foot from
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: the mentor position, right, because you get this young, enthusiastic mentee.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: They seem to admire you, which for men is intoxicating.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: It's like a drug.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: And like to feel like this, especially if it's a
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: younger female, and like she seems to admire your things.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: You're great and you're like, wow, this is going really well.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I'm giving her these insights that I have about our
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: industry or about this discipline that we both are training in.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: She really appreciates that. I feel special in her eyes.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And it can very easily even if you're non sexual
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: about it, Like I can see how you can become
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: addicted to that too and feel like, Wow, this person
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: really likes me and appreciates me. Right, I'm important to them,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: And this goes both ways, and I just want to
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: normalize that for Malli because it does happen on both sides,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: and I don't think that that's wrong. I think that's
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: also what often happens in therapy and what we teach
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: our students a lot about transference and counter transference and
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: how common it is to develop a real connection that
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: we have to actually work our way through that. It
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: isn't bad that that happens. It's actually a good sign
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: because it shows that we're bonding really well, and it
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: can be an asset to the work we're here to do,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: as long as we don't allow ourselves to become distracted
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: by it. And that would ultimately become the best advice
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: that I have for Malli is I don't think it's
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: weird or wrong that you naturally find that you bond
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: to the mentor person and that you find yourself gravitating
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: to them. Where I think you've really got the same
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: skills that I would want in a therapy student is
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: your self awareness about that reality. That's what I want,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: and I tell our therapy students that all the time.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Is that if you notice that you're feeling connected or
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: even attracted to your patient, I'm not mad at you.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: You're not a bad therapist. In fact, that may be
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: an indicator that you're so genuine and sincere in this
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: relationship that you're quite unguarded and like you really enjoy
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: this person.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: And that's what I want. I want you to bond
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: with them.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Now, what I require is that you become very aware
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: of that right and you can self pleae because I
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: don't want that to now turn into a change in
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: how you interact with this person. And that, Molly, is
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: where I think you still have some room to grow.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Is where you notice things like I giggle, I'm effervescent,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I'm behaving in ways that signal attraction and connection. I'm
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: aware of that, and that creates a new challenge in
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: my relationship, which may cause this guy to pull away
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: because he's noticing I seem to be trying quite a
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: bit and like, uh oh, he's starting to get nervous
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: about what's going on between us, and like other people
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: notice it. That's the only thing that I really want
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: to change. I don't want to change that Molly feels
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: these things. I'm fine with that. I want to get
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Molly to a place where she can stop collect herself,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: self reflect if she's in therapy, discuss that with her partner,
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: her therapist, and bring these things to the workshop table,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: and then kind of reapproach her relationship in this way
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: that kind of countermeasures this way that kind of adjusts
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: for the feelings that she's having so she can ultimately
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: be where she wants to be in that person's life.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: Does that make sense. Yeah, it's harder to do than
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: I'm framing it up.
• 38:37
  Speaker 7: Oh totally.
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: And it sounds like Mollie's trying to do that. But
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: I think we're like encouraging you, like you really have
• 38:44
  Speaker 6: to put a bunch of effort into it. Right. It's
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: almost like saying, all right, part of my job now
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: is all of these description in my job description?
• 38:52
  Speaker 7: Also, I need to be professional.
• 38:55
  Speaker 6: It's just like how you decide what to where to
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: work that day or what, you know, whatever, how we
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: speak at work, whether you cuss or not, Like this
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: is just another decision you're making at work that you
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: are challenged with that maybe not everyone is.
• 39:08
  Speaker 7: You are not alone. That is so true.
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: Right, But I think it's something you have to be
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: aware of, like Jim said, and just make that extra
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: effort and maybe try and find ways when you start
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: noticing like those feelings inside you mentioned giggling, but that's outward.
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: What's happening before then? Are you getting like butterflies in
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: your stomach? Are you kind of smiling a little bit?
• 39:27
  Speaker 6: More like what's happening before then that you can notice
• 39:31
  Speaker 6: to intervene first and maybe step out of the room
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: or like don't go talk to them? Then?
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah, sure, you know what I mean.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Like, so that self restrained is very meaningful, and like
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: obviously I'm using myself kind of adjacent to this to
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: say I relate. I've got all these wonderful college students
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: in graduate school. They're all very impressive people, right, They're
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: all gorgeous.
• 39:51
  Speaker 6: So it's hard when you're in a people feel like
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: you're gonna connect, You're gonna make connect.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: We're gonna connect.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: We're all you know, they're they're aspiring therapists, so like
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: we're all really good at connecting to humans.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: We're very guarded. Imagine being a college student and looking
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: at Jim job.
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: And being like, man, if only if only I could
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: be with Jim with yeah yeah, yeah, but you oh
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: there you go, there you go aspiring to be like you.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: Well, I wear all the gold, so I wear all
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: the gold.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. The best of Las Vegas is I turned
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: them into a super around.
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: Have you ever felt like there was a student just
• 40:23
  Speaker 6: yes or no, that like has been attracted to you
• 40:28
  Speaker 6: or maybe some form of limericks, whether it's like, actually
• 40:30
  Speaker 6: I don't.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever detected attraction. No, and like
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not surprised by that.
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think if I were Nick, then yeah, it
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: probably happened. But like, no, everybody in my life.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: I've had students that have communicated your next Yeah, that's right.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: This is why I can only bring Nick in once
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: a semester to talk to my class, because if you
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: showed up twice, they would just like immediately be stalking.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: The trick is three unbuttoned, that's right. The VI's a
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: little deeper on that day. Yeah, what's really helping me
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: about the top button.
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: When we say how many unbuttoned buttons, there are we
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: counting the top button that collar? Yeah, one, one, two, Yeah.
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: He gets to about the navel. That's where he keeps
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: the un butttoning. Yeah doos realizing that my regular my
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: regular three uh, my regular look with three with with
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: button shirts is definitely three button.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: There you go. Mine two.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: That Nick's going to seduce my students, because they've all
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: after they meet Nick, they're like, how do I get
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: a hold of that guy? And I have to explain
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: that he's amish and he basically doesn't know how the
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: internet works, and so I'm like, I know, if he
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: looks like this really hot forty year old dude, in reality,
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: he's ninety five years old.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: He doesn't know how any technology work.
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: Put a hold of him. You can record the voices,
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: cylinder and you can send it to him.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: No, this is absolutely I have like, how do I
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: find his uh his private practice, his physical training, and
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: they've they've disguised it as I want to make referrals
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: to him, which I'm like, I'm sure you fucking do.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: But like I try to tell them, there's the I'm
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: his one of his closest friends.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I own a business with him. I don't know how
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: to find this ship. Good luck he didn't. I didn't
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: have his direct cell phone.
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: I email him and he yells at me that I
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: sent him an email to the wrong email because it's
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: the Google and not the Yahoo, or the Yahoo and
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: not the Google.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: And this week he doesn't know how to check one. Yeah,
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: there's no hope. The best part is that they interpret
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: that as me being very off on guard. Yeah, yeah,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: that's what it is. Yeah. They're just like, oh, wow,
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: he's so elusive.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, it's Beauty and the Beast like, oh,
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: he's just staring out the castle into the wilderness.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: He just doesn't care. It's like he's an idiot. He
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: doesn't know how the integram. What's his Instagram? I fucking
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: know he would love to know. I wish he did.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: He can't.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: Her business would be doing better if if she knew
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: how to use it anyway, So all of this is
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: the comfort circle. And just to say, I think in
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: my position where I've noticed people that no, not necessarily
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: attraction but like admiration, are like, hey, there's a connection here.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: My advice to you, Molly is I think it's good
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: to notice it. I think there's nothing wrong with noticing it.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Where I think you're getting yourself kind of stuck is
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I think you should check in with yourself and ask yourself,
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: what is the best version of this relationship? How could
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: this relationship be the best version of itself for me personally?
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: How would I get the best I could get out
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: of this? So if my students, that's an easy answer.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Like if this student goes on and says, I once
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: studied under Jim, and I really admire Jim. I think
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: he's a good therapist, and he treated me well, I
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: have nothing but good things to say, that is like
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: the best thing that could ever happen. And then we
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: become colleagues when they graduate and they get in the field,
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: and we become colleagues who refer to each other and
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: admire each other, that would be the gold possible standard.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: So if I'm ever noticing that I'm getting too friendly
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: with this person or it's getting too casual, I remind
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: myself the best of all outcomes is not that I
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: make a new friend, because that really wouldn't be the gold.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: The best of all outcomes is we become colleagues who
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: admire each other and refer to each other. And this
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: person says, I studied under Jim, and Jim gets me
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: part of that person's legacy.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, under under Doug however you study however you like
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: three of us.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: So checking on that, Molly and asking yourself what is
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: the best possible outcome for this relationship. Reminding yourself of
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: that and regrouping your behaviors to align with that, sometimes
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: that can give you the best possible move. Even if
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: you don't have control over your emotions. Yes, if there's
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: a medicine, there's not good luck. You're just gonna have
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: to deal with whatever.
• 44:41
  Speaker 6: You don't think. Like she mentions all the dopamine you
• 44:43
  Speaker 6: don't think take a hit a dope version of either
• 44:46
  Speaker 6: an anti depression or.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: For emotional regulation. I wouldn't. I would. I would tell
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: you to consult with your therapist.
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah, we talk to a doctor, but I mean there's
• 44:54
  Speaker 7: probably something that could be helpful. I don't know what
• 44:56
  Speaker 7: that is.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: Dress always the answer take a hit. Fiftys. We're gonna
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: take quick break in when we come back.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: We're talking about a podcaster's fears after the Charlie Kirk assassination.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: I'm taking a break. You're listening to pot therapy.
• 45:15
  Speaker 7: Alright.
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Smity Scoop, Mason Miller,
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: Tess Miller, Biler, t Harris, Team Monico, Oscar Swanros Hannah, Marie,
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: Emma Kin, Myra and Sam Cone. And if you would
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: like to sponsor the show, become a Thera producer Patreon
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: dot com slash there alright, here we go?
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: Who always leads off?
• 45:36
  Speaker 6: Here?
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: I feel like it's Jacob's turn. All right, Okay, let's go.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: We'll go counterclockwise here, here we go. This this trivia
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: is parent company trivia. Okay, So I'm gonna name a
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: brand and you have to name the parents company motors
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: Johnson and Johnson's going.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: To be the same five, Haliburton, Blackstone. I think we
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: can win this game, all right, Jacob house fitting, how fitting?
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Here we go Ben and Jerry's.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: I have no idea. Oh okay, so are you gonna
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: take options? Are there options? Or do we have to shoot?
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: There's options? Because I want to steal it, because I
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: could steal off the hip. You know who you're the
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: company name? Who owns Ben Jerry?
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I do, but obviously not because I'm a smart man,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: but because I'm I like, I really like Ben and
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: Jerry's ice cream, and so I just happened to but
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: I've looked at the label like and so I know
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: the label because I looked at it and I was like, oh,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: my cologne.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: Is made by these And I was like, that's interesting.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: They own my cologne and my favorite ice cream. And
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: that's the only reason I know that. Now that I've
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: got a little more information, I would like hims like options.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: He'll take up Pepsi Co, Unilever, Nestley, mars Ah. That
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: feels like it could be a Nestle thing. I'll say,
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: Nestley goes to Whitney unless it's me counterclock Is that me?
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: Am?
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: I the other way said counterclockwise you could have gotten
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: underneath the clock.
• 47:24
  Speaker 6: Ye.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so is it me? And my next I want Nilever.
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: It is usual one for jim. I only noticed because
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: they have a big U as their logo, which it's
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: filled like I think, smaller use.
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: And all I was picturing was like I could picture
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: the Nestle in the bottom of in like that little
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: blurb was solid.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: Of all the options, that was a solid option. I
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: only know that it was because I m.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, ship, oh god, I'm gonna go with fred. Let
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: me let me shoot freed from the hip. No, all right,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: can I use you can take options? You cannot look
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: at your goddamn gurito bad on your feet.
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: She's like towing it right back. She's gonna brail her
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: fucking answer. Okay, uh, Pepsi Co, Mondala, Mondealaz International, Mondolez International,
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: Craft hins Kellogg's.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: Oh geez, what was.
• 48:24
  Speaker 7: The first one again, Pepsiico?
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, those are all really good answers. I'm
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: really sad that Freedo Lay wasn't.
• 48:32
  Speaker 7: On there, Pepsi Kellogg. I'm not gonna do the second one.
• 48:35
  Speaker 7: Whatever that was?
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Craft? Heins, that's the third one the same company. Good, yeah, wow,
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: goes to Jacob. So it's not Kellogg. I'll say Montague.
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: What was the first one, PepsiCo, I'll say Pepsi. I
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: feel like that's yes, of course. You gotta super Bowl
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: commercials always have and Lays and all that show. They
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: have a lot of things tangent. Why would we associate
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: put them in the same commercial, associated.
• 49:12
  Speaker 7: Them like Pepsy doesn't own ship.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: They do have a Dorito's taco I guess pe stay down,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: p all right, Whitney who owns the brand old Spice?
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: There it is? Oh yeah, that was much better, Thank you, buddy.
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: It's gonna be ma it's gonna be may I think
• 49:42
  Speaker 6: it's gonna be either Johnson and Johnson.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Or and shoot from the hip, girl, do it? Respect
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: your don't.
• 49:51
  Speaker 7: Say that you're lying to me. Whatever you're saying, I
• 49:53
  Speaker 7: don't want it because I respect you. Because Johnson and
• 49:57
  Speaker 7: Johnson a.
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: Girl, Colgate, pal Olive, Unilever, Procter and Gamble Edge Well
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: Personal Care.
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: I'll be an edge, Alloyd.
• 50:10
  Speaker 5: Its possible that we have that. I have forgotten what
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: the question was, old Spice. That's right, okay, and I
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: would like the options to good please, Coldgate.
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: Olive, Unilever, Procter and Gamble Edge Weell Personal Care?
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Oh boy, I mean Coldgate is the that's the easy one.
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: Okay, that's the red hairy Alright, I'll say the start
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: the fire.
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: No that Unilever, you believer. Who's the other one? Procter
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: and Gamble, Procter and Gamble that's all one? Okay? Yes,
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: damn real quick, here we go, uh xbox, Jacob, Microsoft, Yes,
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: two point jesus wow, lcu Coke.
• 51:03
  Speaker 7: No, that was gonna be mind damn it.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I know it's got to be the other one, right, No, No,
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: Doctor National Beverage corps. You just in the neck with
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: a dumb question. No Volkswagen, Ben and Jerry's no Hagen?
• 51:29
  Speaker 6: Uh?
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, did you a Volkswagenok, no, it's not Volkswagen Nesli.
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: They also have cheerios. Uh Miller mill.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Honey, beat honey, all right, all right, I'm clearly winning
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: podcast your fears after the Charlie Kirk assassination.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: Buckle up, Fran, Here we go, Hello, pot Therapy crew,
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: There we go.
• 51:55
  Speaker 7: Zero were canceled.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I think that Trump may personally arrest Yeah, I hear
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: a knock a door right now? Just no way, Hello
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: pod therapy crew. You are part of a great network
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: of shows I now listen to through being a Scoop.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: One of the other.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Shows you are connected through via ice Cream Social is
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: more political in nature, and its hosts have found themselves
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: shook by the recent shooting, even to the point they
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: have seriously considered withdrawing from the show or even no
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: longer doing live events. I care about them, and selfishly,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: I really enjoy their show a lot and would hate
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: to lose it for my weekly listen. They are calm
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: and rational in their approach to talking about events, and
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: although they don't seem like they say anything I would
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: think would trigger people to target them. All it takes
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: is one person, and in this environment with greater and
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: greater risk. I was hoping that you could talk about
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: strong feelings of people in the podcast world after the shooting,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: and maybe how to deal with the feelings of fear
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: being more and more public, being a more and more
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: public figure when you are publishing any thoughts out into
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: the world. Have you all ever worried about speaking your minds,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: especially after events like this? Have you ever been afraid
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: that creating content might negatively impact you or even threaten
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: your safety? I care about the content creators I follow,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: and I think it's important we humanize your experiences. Thanks
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: in advance for your answer and all you do for
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: the world. Signed anonymous.
• 53:34
  Speaker 7: I know Jim never worries about.
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: Don't worry about Jim.
• 53:42
  Speaker 7: He's not sweating right now just thinking about it.
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: He hasn't been constantly looking at the door of the
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: whole time, and he still hasn't gotten.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Will you you've in the past, in the history of
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: pod therapy, I think I don't know if you've ever
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: told us on air, you've shared with us that you've
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: obviously I see us much bigger. Show has been around
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: for a very very long time, and you guys have
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: done tons of live events. I have no idea where
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: he's going with I just like to say that right
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: to worry you've you've shared with us in the past
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: that there have been some tough days. There have been
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: some tough days where the occasional person has stepped over
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: some lines. Oh sure, sure, and made hosts feel unsafe. Yeah,
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: And I don't think those humans ever meant to cause harm.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: You've always been very careful to say, Look, nobody's out
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: there just being a bad person to be a bad person,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: but humans do overstep yea. And as a professional entertainer,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: that can be tough sometimes.
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, if you if you go back, if
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: you're not on the patreon, this is my turn to
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: say it now, if you're not on the patreon, this
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: is a good week to get on the patreon, writer,
• 54:52
  Speaker 5: because if you didn't listen today's Patreon I started to
• 54:57
  Speaker 5: go into almost exactly this letter.
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean this is I was in a full on,
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: like funk.
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: The day that Charlie Kirk was shot because of all
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: of this, Because of and I could have just written
• 55:12
  Speaker 5: this letter. It's just because of all of these things,
• 55:16
  Speaker 5: I definitely have thought about it.
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: And I mean, to some degree, Charlie Kirk was killed
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: for his opinions.
• 55:29
  Speaker 5: To take that to some degree with a lot of seriousness, like,
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: to some degree his opinions contributed to him getting killed.
• 55:39
  Speaker 5: I have for over a decade and I don't know
• 55:43
  Speaker 5: how many thousands of hours on the internet. My voice
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: is just out there and yeah, that shit comes up
• 55:53
  Speaker 5: every now and then, because why wouldn't it if somebody
• 55:57
  Speaker 5: get shot for it?
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: And that's what you do. It's a really straight line connection.
• 56:02
  Speaker 5: Like I'm I'm not, I'm not burning a lot of
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: calories here making this making this connection.
• 56:07
  Speaker 6: Uh.
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: The part that of course gives me a modicum of
• 56:13
  Speaker 5: peace about the situation is that.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: Charlie Kirk was a.
• 56:22
  Speaker 7: More Uh.
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: He was he was more interested in having spirited debates
• 56:27
  Speaker 5: and even arguments with people. That's it, not even provoking,
• 56:31
  Speaker 5: that's not I wouldn't say provoking, but but he was.
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: He was definitely interested in having arguments with people publicly.
• 56:38
  Speaker 5: And I am not, I am not interested in in
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: in that kind of I'm not I'm simply not interested
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: that kind of entertainment. And that's why I started to
• 56:44
  Speaker 5: say in the pre show today is I was never
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: a fan of of Charlie Kirk, but I'm not a
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: fan of that of the thing that he did.
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: I was aware of him, yeah, I was, just I'm simply.
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: Not a fan of that type of con and I'm
• 57:00
  Speaker 5: honestly not terribly versed on a lot of his opinions.
• 57:06
  Speaker 5: I know, kind of like the big headlined opinions that
• 57:09
  Speaker 5: that everybody knows about him if you just have a
• 57:12
  Speaker 5: you know, a newspaper, a newspaper subscription. But past that,
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: past that, I don't know anything about it.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it was definitely a weird thing.
• 57:21
  Speaker 6: It's gotta be weird too because you've never struck me
• 57:24
  Speaker 6: as somebody who hides their opinion only either, So it's like, yeah,
• 57:28
  Speaker 6: maybe you're a You're not standing on a stage in
• 57:31
  Speaker 6: front of I'm not arguing that opinion, but yeah, but
• 57:38
  Speaker 6: you've never been shy, So I wonder if that shy
• 57:41
  Speaker 6: about your opinion.
• 57:42
  Speaker 7: So I wonder if that was part of the.
• 57:43
  Speaker 5: No, because that's just I can't be worried about me,
• 57:49
  Speaker 5: you know, like I can't be worried about who I
• 57:50
  Speaker 5: am in addition to everything else. I think at some
• 57:54
  Speaker 5: point I just have to accept who I am just
• 57:58
  Speaker 5: as a as a person, and I'm an opinion person.
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: When I want to share those opinions I am, I
• 58:04
  Speaker 5: am loud. I could effectively share those opinions. I have
• 58:06
  Speaker 5: platforms to do them on.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: Like sure, yeah, I don't know. I've I mean my,
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: I've never.
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: Really it doesn't make me scared, I guess, yeah, but
• 58:18
  Speaker 4: it is a mind fuck I've I'm so far disconnected
• 58:24
  Speaker 4: from that. I didn't have any kind of experience like that. Yeah,
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: Like I'm looking at it the same I think as
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: anybody else on earth is looking at it, which is
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: just like.
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is wow. That was the whole
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: thing that was holy shit. Every part it is horrible.
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: There was no part of that that I related to,
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: you know, because I just I'm not that famous, you know,
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: like I mean, like it's not something I mean, I'm
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm not even in the top three of the
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: most famous people in this room. So like, I'm not
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: I and this is probably and maybe I this is
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: probably my I take this to a fault, maybe to
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: a different level. Sorry not, It's fine. I'm not even
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: not even upset about it, But I don't take it maybe,
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: and then maybe that's my problem is I need to
• 59:24
  Speaker 4: take it more seriously because like I've never we've got
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: a small audience, it's never been anything that I've thought of.
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: But but Laura takes it a lot more seriously.
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: What was your reaction, like, you know, generally describe what
• 59:39
  Speaker 5: your reaction was when you found out that Charlie Kirk
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: had been shot and got out the general details of it.
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: It was a holy shit, like short moment like wow,
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: did this just did this just happen? Like is this really?
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: It just shocked, like I can't believe that that really happened.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: And I knew he's obviously you know, had enemies. Sure,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: you know, but like anybody who, like you said, has
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: strong opinions and goes out is going to have enemies.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know, especially if you were like that.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: That's what the content was all about. It was about
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 4: being provocative. It was about having these like conversations. If
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: conversations were very civil, I don't think you would have
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: been famous, right right, I mean it was it was
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: very It was much more. No, the fight was was
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 4: what got attention. Yeah, exactly, yeah, exactly, and so so yeah,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 4: I think my my reaction to that was just like wow,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 4: like I can't believe that that happened. But then on
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: the other hand, I was like, no, I kind of do,
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: because like, sure, this is kind of the time, this
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 4: is this is the age we live in now.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Yeh, like this is happening.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I don't personally feel necessarily like exposed because we we
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: do have a smaller audis and so we're not like
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Joe Rogan out there. But You're saying like, but you know,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: I'm engaged, and like she's anybody. We have a show
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: and we have fans, we have a discord, and we
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: have Instagram. We have all these people that follow our
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: ship and we meet them in person, and so I
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: was like, yeah, sometimes it's kind of like for her,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: it does feel like, no, you guys actually matter, like right,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: you have an audience.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: Well, and to be honest, I mean, if somebody was
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: going to attack us and came in this room right now,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 4: I know I'm not going to be the first one.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: Okay that's attacked. It's hurtful. I have time to run. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 7: He's been working.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: Routine to be faster than the bad guy. I just
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: have to get away fronts out.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Not the slowest person in this room, and I'm comping
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: in my ability to hop the wall before the rest
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: of the first thing I do is I grab whitney
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: and throw it at the at the least likely to be.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: There's like, oh, well, get out of the way when
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: they hit these douchebags. I'm really just here to protect.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: You from them, because I want to say to anyone
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: who has ever had ad thoughts about those of us
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: on pod therapy, Let's get if you were to come
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 5: in to this room, as you come through the door,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 5: I would be the first one that you would see,
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 5: and that might seem like, oh, I should target Jacob first.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you Jim is the physically closer person
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 5: around immediately to your Okay, it's a great point. Really
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 5: right there, don't get distracted by looking at me. Jim
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 5: is right next to Nick.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: You were saying that Laura. Sometimes Laura is a lot more.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 5: Anybody want to take bets on whether Jim is gonna
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 5: move where he sits next one, I'll move during this episode.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: Just in case. That's why Jim doesn't sit still always
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: give it. What is he on the grid? Never mind
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: he's taking cover. No, So Laura is a lot more
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: attuned to, you know, the dangers of being And I
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: feel weird saying a public figure but let's go out there.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: But yeah, same podcast podcasters asking us the sincere so
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: there is Yeah.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: So there are times like there are certain things that
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: I cannot bring up on this show that I know,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: you know, and things that are overly personal.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: So I gotta listen here the things here are the
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: things that we will not talk about. Yeah, okay, do
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 3: I have a drum roll.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: Somewhere right, But that's that's just out of Yeah, And
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff to where like those are
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: things like between you and Laura, you can't talk about it.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's so clear, yes, exactly.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: And so there are things that she will say like, Okay,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: you can't talk, don't say anything about this on the show,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: And to me, I'm like, who the fuck cares?
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: Like else? But I don't.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: Out of respect for her, I won't do it. But
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: she's probably like there are certain things that the world
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: doesn't need to know about what that's happening in our lives.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: You know, there are certain things like that. So just
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: just being careful about, you know, what information gets out,
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: and you know there's I'm sure if somebody wanted to
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: know a lot of details, they could probably research it
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: and they could find it out, but I don't have
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: to offer it.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: That is true for everyone, right, But being a being
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 5: any kind of public figure, any level of public figure,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 5: means that you're opening the idea of that up to
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: more people than a person in a non public figure
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: role opens themselves up to. It's not that you're putting
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 5: information out there, it is that you're putting the idea
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: of you out there, and people go like, oh, Nick,
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 5: I'm curious about Nick. I wouldn't have been curious about
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: him if I hadn't heard him on this podcast, but
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: this podcast has made me curious about Nick, and so
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 5: I'm going to whatever.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: So this is this is I think the heart of
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: the idea, like we are not a big deal. But
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: when you cross that threshold of presenting yourself to the world,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: you do not have control over who meets you, whereas
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: when you're not a quote unquote public figure or a podcaster,
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: you've direct control over how much information you give to
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: each human you meet. So you may be friends with Jacob,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: and Jacob may be friends, or it may be friends
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: with Matt and Matt may be friends of pendulate right,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: And it's very possible that you could tell a story
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: to Jacob that translates to Matt, that translates a Pendulette,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: and a pendultte knows something about you personally. But that
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: is such a weird telephone game. It's it's very unlikely
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: that it's really going to be impactful. But whenever you
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: put things out into the Internet, now you have this
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: direct stranger who you do not get to vet, who
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: gets to know whatever you just said about yourself, and.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 5: It's there forever, and it's there forever I think that
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 5: I said over a decade ago, or just you know,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 5: very easily accessible.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: It's it is a fascinating kind of reality. And I know,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: for me, I appreciate this question. I think it gives
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: us a chance to really pull back the curtain a
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: little bit. Pod therapy is and I was just there's
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: a conversation on Discord right now where we're talking about
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: this pod therapy.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: In my opinion, if I make sorry on Discord this week,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: I'm just busy with Scar. That's why I'm not on
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: Discord this week. That's why you missed it.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: What you missed is, in my opinion, pod therapy is
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: much smaller than it deserves to be. The feedback I
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: get from people all the time, and it's a self
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: selecting sample. They obviously like us, But the people that
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: I hear from say, this show is just so unique.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: People will say, you four are really naturally friends. You
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: have this really great banter, and yet you can you
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: can expertly dive in and out a very serious conversation
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: talking about suicide, talking about really deep sexual stuff, talking
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: about relationships of trauma stuff, and then pop right back
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: out and you all magically balance jokes and seriousness. Somehow
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: listeners are getting this expert level knowledge, and yet it's
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: this passive, like Morning Zoo kind of energy. And we've
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: had a lot of people over the years that like,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: it is really special. And I've pitched the show to
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: bigger networks to say, look, I don't know how to
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: explain this to you, but like we've developed a really
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: good global audience without ever trying. Like people just google
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: in their own podcast, searches a topic they're interested in,
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: and they find us organically and we have just grown
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: from that over eight years, and we are consistent to
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: shit that's really hard to find. We are a very
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: special show, and so people over the years have told me, like,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: it's a really special program. We've never been that big,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: despite what I think we probably could be for the
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: quality of what we do, but we have had these
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: special surges where we have gotten notoriety. And so one
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: of the ways that this used to happen was through Reddit.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: We did a Reddit am back when readit was a
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: big deal before it kind of got neutered. Back when
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: read it was really significant, and we had a few
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: and really happy Reddit. Yeah, no, Reddit fell down. I
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: don't know anything about that. Yeah, Reddit got bought in
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: his whole business. But like Reddit back whenever they used
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: to have a really cherished AM channel, we had a
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: couple of years where we really blew up on that.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: We got to the front page of Reddit completely organically,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: and when that would happen, we would get floods of
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: new listeners, and that was always a really strange experience,
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: at least for me.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: Nick.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Maybe you relate to this because suddenly I would go
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: into our discord and we would have three hundred new members.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: It would just double overnight and it was like whoa
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: and unlike, this new group of people were interested in
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: what we were doing, but they didn't know us yet
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: as people. They didn't know the inside jokes, they didn't
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: know the culture of the show. They didn't know how
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: to talk to us or how to engage with us.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: And that would be really weird for a while because
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: I'd feel really exposed to a group of people who
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: I've never met, Like when we interact with people on
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: our discord or through scoops, like we literally spend days
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: with these people every year at a conference in Las Vegas.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: We drink together, we eat dinner together, like we are
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: very friendly, and like I have no fear of them whatsoever.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: I know that we are actually friends. And they listen
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: to the show and they're not I'm not a figure
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: to them. I'm a real man that they've met, and
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: they realize I'm underwhelming, you know, and like great, you know,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: Like there's a very humanized process.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 3: That's the mustache We've been talking about the whole bit.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: What's frightening to me about the Charlie Kirk is whenever
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: people develop his today you call it a parasocial relationship,
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: or you call it whatever you want, but there is
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: sometimes this infatuation or intimidation with this person who's in media.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: And I've seen this where like obviously Charlie Kirk is
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: unusually important because the man lost his life, but I've
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: seen a lot of other podcasters who have been targeted,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: where listeners have decided I don't like you for something
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: you've done or said. I feel personally betrayed you because
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: I liked your brand and now you did something deviant
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: from that brand. I've lost track that you are just
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: a human with a microphone hanging out in your buddy's
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: guest bedroom right now, and I've thought of you as
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: much bigger than you really are. And now I've designed
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: this whole takedown campaign to destroy your business, to destroy
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: the way you have a livelihood, to track down people
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: that matter in your life, to publicly humiliate you, as
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: if you're exposing like Brad Pitt, as if it's like
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: this big, huge, important social justice takedown.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: It's can I talk about that for a second ago
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: for it?
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 5: It is happening today. I'm not gonna say who it
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: is happening to, but it's happening. Today, a person in
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 5: Las Vegas entertainment on their random social media page, just
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 5: like they're things social media page. And by the way,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 5: I don't know how hard or whatever this will be
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 5: to figure out who it is. If you figure if
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 5: you want to figure out who it is, figure out
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 5: who it is, you probably can. Uh do me a favor,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: don't ask me about it because because like we're I'm
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 5: having to deal with stuff related to this and everything.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 5: Uh so whatever I wanted to get into it later
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 5: on for for all the listeners again, because.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: It's about as deep as I'll go with it anyway.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 3: But anyway, so this this guy dms this act.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 5: On their social media page, on their acts social media
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 5: page and asks them to do a performance for somebody
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 5: that this person knows.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: Uh. The act did not get back to the person,
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: as to the stranger.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 5: As quickly as the person seems to have thinked who
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 5: seems to have thought that that act should have gotten
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 5: back to them, And they have gone on a fucking
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: like burn the bridges behind them campaign. They have gone
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: on all every social media platform that they can try
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: to get onto. They're getting on there and bad mouthing
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 5: this act for really for not getting back to them
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: on the social media director passenger about a gig, just
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 5: about a gig that I'm sure they would have gotten
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 5: back to had they seen it, but they hadn't seen
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: it yet, so like they hadn't they hadn't gotten around
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 5: to it, and like burning, burning it down to the
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 5: degree that I had a conversation with this person earlier
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 5: today and we were talking about, like, here are the
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 5: things to do, and believe it up.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: Most of my advice is block and perge, block and purge. Don't.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: We don't feed the trolls in this house. We don't
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: like if you if you want to behave like that.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 5: And they were like, oh, this person even emailed my acts,
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: email and everything and was telling me how horrible it
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 5: was that I hadn't gotten back to them and all
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 5: of this stuff. Currently, they made an only fans I
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: haven't seen this, but like they made an only fans
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: with like some kind of sexual cartoon about the person
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: on the in the act something like, but like people
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 5: have been calling the act and calling an emailing the
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 5: act and being like, hey, I'm seeing this stuff about it.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, uh, And I'm like, no, no, we
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: burn all of this down. We who cares, but we're done.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: It goes to show.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 5: But it is a weird thing. And I and I
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 5: have that response because I've been doing it for a
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 5: little while. And like my mom went through the same
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 5: thing years ago. She was part of a program in
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 5: Louisiana to try to get a law passed so that Louisiana,
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 5: like public schools and like state sponsored things, wouldn't do
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 5: helium balloon releases.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: That was that was the attire that she wanted for
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: the environment she works on.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: She she has volunteered for many, many years at a
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: Wildlife by You refuge and so like she sees balloons
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 5: floating into bayou, that's it. And so she's been part
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: of this thing. She had people like telling her on
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 5: Facebook to kill herself and do all of these things.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 5: And she's like, I went to a fucking town hall
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: meeting and said, I don't think we should release balloons.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 5: I think it's littering. It's going up instead of down,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 5: but I still think it's littering. Thank you for your time, right,
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 5: That was basically what she had done. Yeah, and she's
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 5: calling me, She's like, these people are telling me to
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 5: kill myself. I have to respond, I'm like, no, we
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 5: don't respond to anything. We just delete, we delete, we block,
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 5: we move on. Yeah, if they if something comes up
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 5: later and this person continues, like they get multiple accounts or.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: Something, then we will cross that bridge later on. Fortunately
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: that hardly ever happens.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's rare, I mean, and I'm aware that I'm
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 5: saying that in a Charlie Kirk discussion, because fortunately not
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 5: many podcasters get shot.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 6: In the neck.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: That's true, So it's not it's not the comfort that
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: you want. But right, that's all I got.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: It is not uncommon, and that I think you're piggybacking
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: on the point that I was making that it's not
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: entirely uncommon. That yeah, violence is uncommon, but some kind
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: of recoil. Oh yeah, because you exist and because you
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: have a platform, and podcasting I think is unique in
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: the world, because I do think it's a very intimate format.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: Of course, it feels much more like you're sitting, you know,
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: with these people in the real world were unguarded. We
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: know we're not being videoed, and I think actually that
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: allows us to be much more organic than we would
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: be if we felt like we were putting on you know,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: errors for a video, and all of that comes through,
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: and so there really is this organic connection and that's
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: what a parasocial relationship fundamentally is. But when those strangers
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: out there who we haven't personally vetted and we can't
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: think about what they know about us, when they learn
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: something about us, or they've heard something about us, or
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: they dislike something about us, or they feel personally let
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: down or betrayed by us because they discover that we're
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: just shitty humans. Yeah that do shitty dumb things. We
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: don't tip sometimes we are I don't do that. Yeah, right,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: nobody would not know anything.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: We're in Vegas.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: But yeah, we step on toes, we make the wrong
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: decision and the wrong moment. We are just fallible humans.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: And there is this huge sense of letdown as a
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: result to that, and then there are wrong sized responses.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: So all of that is Jim kind of coming full
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: circle to the writer's question where they're saying, Hey, in
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: a world in which you have been a content creator,
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: does that ever frighten you? Do you ever fear that
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: kind of thing? I don't ever fear like violence, because
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: I do think that is extremely rare. But I do
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: fear this kind of idea that you could become this
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: person to the listener that is idealized a little bit
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: and special, and they hold you in a certain kind
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: of sacro saying kind of way, not real, not real.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: You don't get to be warts and all of you.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: You just become this polished human and they say, well,
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: you're supposed to be a therapist. You said this really
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: dumb thing on the discord, or you said this stupid
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: thing on the Twitter, or I went to scoop Fest
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: and you were two whiskey's in and suddenly you made
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: this really off colored joke in my presence and now
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: kind of going back to cancel culture or whatever, like
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: I kind of don't think you should exist.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 3: I'm so angry at you.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: It's like you just wouldn't have that amount of emotional
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: energy toward a guy that you just knew through.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 5: Oh that is hard to do with podcasters, right. You
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: may notice that podcasters hardly ever get canceled because everything
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 5: about us is just context, right, So it's very difficult
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 5: to take something like it's hard to take something that
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 5: I've said in the past completely out of context because
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 5: there's just so much of it, Like it was the
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 5: same thing with public figures that you just saw all
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 5: the time, you know, back in the network TV.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 3: Days, and they happen.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: Sure people will say, I hung out with Jacob at
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: the bar, and now I have this hot gossip and
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: then there's new permeating rumor about it. Sure hits the
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: community and people feel some kind of way about it
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: which feels threatening, like and maybe it won't cost me
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: everything I've ever worked for in my life, But all
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, this community that I've worked really hard
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: to serve and to do a good job with feels
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: a very big emotional energy about me, or somebody in
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: that group feels a lot of emotional energy. I may
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: that is very threatening, and so it is a very
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: scary thing. And I guess I just want to relate
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: to that because I think the writer's like giving us
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to reflect and say, Hey, this kind of
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: thing is making me appreciate I think that's what the
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: writer's saying.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: I think they're saying, seeing this is making.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: Me appreciate how much I like my podcasters, even my
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: small time podcasts. Yeah, and I think the writer's saying,
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: I genuinely want to humanize you guys. And give you
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to reflect on how scary things like this
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: may scare you and may scare you out of podcasting.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's something we've never really talked about in
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: the show, but I've almost quit pod therapy multiple times
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: in the history of the show in eight years where
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: I've gotten overwhelmed, sometimes because of me stuff, sometimes just
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: fear stuff, And in some of that fear is somewhat
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: related to like I'm scared that my income and my
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: family's well being and everything has nothing to do with
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: pod therapy. Pod therapy is essentially a hobby for me,
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: and like if pod therapy could ever threaten my livelihood
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: or hurt my patience or anything like that, then I
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: get scared from it and I go, I don't want
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: to do this anymore. I have a patient who listened
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: to the show and they're they're well being is threatened
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: by the show. I shouldn't do this show anymore. And
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: over eight years, Nick has had unfortunately too many times
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: whereas he had to sit me down and like, listen
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: to me cry and hear me go, I'm scared that
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: I've ruined this patient's life because of pod therapy or
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: they didn't like the show Patient's Life, Right, you're just
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: a bad therapist. It's not either you're a good podcaster,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: but really bad therapist. But like you know, we've had
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: we've had times where I've had to say, I'm scared
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: of doing the show anymore. I think the best thing
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: for me is to step away from the show. And
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: you know, Nick has always been really gentle about that
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: to say, Jim, at the end of the day, you
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: don't owe me anything. Man, If you don't want to
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: do the show anymore, that's okay. You know, if you
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: think that's the right thing for your life and your
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: family and your practice and your patience, that's okay. But
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: also always keep in mind that you have an anxiety
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: disorder and you're not good at right sizing things, and like, well,
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: you promised to just take some time and keep thinking
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: about it, and that's allowed me to come back and
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of feel safe again. And our community
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: has always done a really good job of knowing that
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: Jim's a fragile little bunny, and like, you know, you
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: got to be really careful with Jim, because you could
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: scare them off and fuck the show up for all
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: of us, right, you know, and so I read its
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: a really good job. But you know, just to be
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: human with you, writer, because I think you're asking a
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: very sincere question. It gives me a chance to be
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: very sincere back to you and just I think hopefully
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: remind the whole audience we really are just little, fragile
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: humans that we do not make our money from pod therapy.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: It's it's just a public service project that we hope
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: does good in the world.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 3: And I've never been.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 4: Really worried or concerned about violence from what we do, right,
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 4: because we've had people who have told us, like, I
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 4: disagree with what you said, I am no longer a listener.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: They've let us know, and they've been pretty mean about
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: it too. And you guys are at what you do
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 3: you shouldn't be And to me, that's about as bad
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 3: as it's gonna get for us.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, because I don't think because here's the thing,
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 4: like the thing that happened, what happened with Charlie Kirk
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 4: is not that's not anything new, right that. One of
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 4: my favorite paintings is It's the Death of Moreau by
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 4: Jacques Louis David. Louis David. It's a French painting and
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 4: it's it's a painting of you've probably maybe you've seen
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 4: it before, but it's the guy he's dead in his
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 4: bathtub and he's just laying back like that and his
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 4: arms hanging down. So he that was a real incident
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 4: that happened during the French Revolution. And he was basically
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 4: the Sean Hannity of his day. He had a newspaper
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 4: and so he was writing during the French Revolution, like
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 4: he was just writing all this shit about here are
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 4: all the people that we need to kill. Yeah, here's
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 4: all the stuff. These are all the bad people. And
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 4: he was putting out this paper every day, you know,
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 4: and then he was murdered in his bathtub.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 3: Some woman came in. It's just I think, like sixteen
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 3: years subject of the painting was the subject, yes, and so.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 4: He was murdered in his bathtub, and that was the painting.
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 4: That was the subject of the painting. Was this event
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 4: that happened, and like.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 3: The guy in the painting was the newspaper guy. Correct, yes,
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: the guy in the bathtub.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 4: So but basically what happened is like I think where
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 4: it gets violent is when people feel like, yeah, I'm
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 4: going to do this thing.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 3: But it's for a greater good and justifies the main
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 3: exactly right.
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's this idea that, yes, this is not
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 4: a good thing, but by me doing this, it puts
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 4: an end to this much worse atrocity that I think
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 4: is happening, right and ultimately right and ultimately it doesn't
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 4: you know, that's like the same it's the not to
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 4: go super dark with this, but it's the exact same
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 4: justification for suicide.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 5: It is it is, I have a solution to this problem.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 5: I can just stop it, right and honestly, that's the
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 5: only way that you get to the end that is,
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 5: that's the only end that you're going to get to
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 5: is death.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 4: I think that's the thing that makes me feel safe
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 4: is knowing that there's nothing that we're doing on the
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 4: show that's really creating.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: That kind of.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 4: Belief system where it's like I need to put an
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 4: end to the evil that pod Therapy is doing. Like
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 4: I don't think, I don't think anybody's I don't know.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 4: I mean there's been some times Whitney's going on and on.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 4: I'm like, you know what, I don't know.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 3: Right now put a stop to this ship. Well, I mean,
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 3: it goes. It always goes small to big.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 5: So like what what Nick is talking about is all
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 5: of the the small stuff when you when you get
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 5: h When we get a letter from a Patreon saying
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 5: that I am canceling my Patreon membership because you guys
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 5: are assholes. And I'm saying guys, including Whitney and that
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 5: because Whitney is definitely an asshole. Uh so, yeah, like
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 5: you guys are all assholes and I'm canceling by Patreon
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 5: hurts a lot. When we get those emails, and we
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 5: get them for pot therapy, we get the price crib social,
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 5: we get them for any thing that has you know,
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 5: kind of you monetize on and you and you do
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 5: things regularly, we get cancelations and uh yeah, like sometimes
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 5: they come in and they fucking hurt.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 3: We get reviews.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 5: I mean, there are reviews out there for various shows
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 5: that talk about how bad I am on those shows.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 7: I guess I'll stop making those don't stop.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 3: I don't care, So I'm sending those text assay, honestly, But.
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it all starts with those kinds of things. And
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 5: so you say, like, okay, well here's someone who said
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 5: Jacob is an asshole on this on this program. Well
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 5: you can say, great, Uh, there are one hundred people
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 5: that listen to this program. One percent of those people
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 5: have now said that Jacob is an asshole. More people
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 5: might have fought it, but one person, one person stepped
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 5: up and said it. And so I mean, you do
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 5: get into that, and not not to uh be the
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 5: be the the person saying the sky is falling a
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 5: little bit here, but you do get into that with
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 5: the There aren't many people that shoot podcasters either.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 3: There are many people that that. There aren't many people
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: that post reviews about podcasts. There are many people that
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 3: take off Patreon subscriptions to the podcast.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 5: There are many people that do you know, each step,
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 5: each step further into the rabbit hole of a podcast,
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 5: you're already out of what the majority does usually.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And so that's I guess that's.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 5: The part that weighed on me a little bit after
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 5: the Charlie Kirk shooting was it's it's not even the
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 5: idea that it just takes one.
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 3: My thought is those people are always everywhere.
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 5: Right, and they are not being hit, they're not being
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 5: triggered whatever you the pick the verb uh, and not
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 5: everyone and Certainly, not everyone is capable of everything. You know,
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 5: not everyone is going to be someone that shoots someone
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 5: the same way that not everyone is going to be
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 5: the type of person that leaves a negative review for something. Sure, ah,
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 5: but it was something that that was the part I
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 5: guess that weighed on me more than the other. Is
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 5: just that those people are out there, people who dislike me,
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 5: people who are But it's not even a fear thing.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 3: I don't I really don't know how to explain it.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 3: Mind fuck is kind of the best way that I
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 3: could explain it, because it wasn't that I.
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 5: Was walking around scared, even with the knowledge that I'm
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 5: hosting a live podcasting event a few weeks after that, Like.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's just what that is. That that's that's the
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 3: world that we live in and that and that really sucks.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: But it doesn't change. It doesn't.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 5: It doesn't for a moment think like it doesn't make
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 5: me for a single moment think I have to withdraw something.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 5: I can't do live events that you know, it doesn't
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 5: make me but doesn't make me want to change anything.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 3: At all, not in myself. As far as that part goes,
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 3: I don't know. So Whitney. I'm curious. You're the newest
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 3: member of the team here. You've been with us now
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: well over a year. It's still, according to Nick, more
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 3: famous than him. Yeah, easily, though I'm not happy about
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 3: it either. I didn't, I didn't disagree with anything.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: Let's be real, let's keep honestly has quickly risen to
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: number two, Jacob whitn and you and me are coming
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: down here at the bottom.
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 3: When he's doing very well.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: We are reminded by the Discord community tell us every day,
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: tell us what you think they're deuce. Yeah, they're always
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: saying Whitney is definitely the best part of the show,
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: and most of our questions now, say christ do not
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: try to answer this without Whitney in their room.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 3: We've learned we.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 1: Are basically here as the support system for Whitney at
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: this point. But no, I mean, you know, you've you've
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: handled this with a lot of grace. You've you've you know,
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: I think immediately when we brought you into the show,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: you played along with it. When we introduce you to
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 1: our online community, you were like I think at first
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: you were sort of like, oh shit, this I thought
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: this thing was really just this dumb duges thing. So
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: some of my colleagues like just have this little silly
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: hobby and they're just bring me on board. No, you
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: guys actually have like hundreds of people that are actually
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: part of this and they talk to you every single week,
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: and like you quickly got like involved with it and
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: like picked up on the culture of like, hey, they're playful,
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 1: they're teasing, they mean well though, they're all really good folk,
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: they're real people. And then you started going to some
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: scoop fests and like picked up on like, no, they're
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: they're absolutely And we tried to warn you before your
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: first scoop fest of like, hey, people, you're you're gonna
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: forget episodes that have happened. They were listening though, and
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: they're gonna walk up to you and pick up on
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 1: a joke that happened months ago that you've all forgotten about. Yeah,
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: and then you're gonna be like, oh shit, what is
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: this person referencing? And then you're gonna pick it up
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: as you go, And like somebody literally went to the
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: Jock Versus Nerd ball dressed as one of your jokes
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 1: to like honor you, and people were super sweet to
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: you and like posing for pictures with you and wearing
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: pewp Whitney you know shirts, and like all this stuff,
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: and like all of a sudden you have this fan club,
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: and so I feel like generally it's been positive. I'm
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: sure overall has been overwhelmingly positive. And yet to go
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: from just you know, therapists who's just doing her job,
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: going to you know, going to work, going back home.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: Nobody really there's no chat room discussing her thoughts this week.
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: Now there is, And now you're going to another you know, engagement.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 1: What it has been like for you to sort of
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: be a little bit more public and exist in this
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: sphere of like, wow, there's people on the internet who
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know personally who get to decide how they
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: feel about what I've said this week, and they may
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: decide that they don't.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 3: Like what I've said.
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 6: I know in the beginning it was absolutely nerve wrecking.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 6: Like the first for sure, I don't know, month two
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 6: months of just like recording every week. I was like,
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 6: oh my god, I like replay in my mind back
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 6: something I said, and I think.
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 7: Like what if that was perceived wrong?
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 3: Remember the first episode, how.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: He was too scared to even be on it. Remember
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: we introduced her as Cinnamon the Silent Stripper, I believe it. Remember, No,
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: she just sat there silently like talking to the mic.
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 3: She's like, no, I'm good. I just I really just
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 3: want to exist and listen.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so that that was kind of wild. And I
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 7: think it's because I care a lot about what other.
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 5: People I hear.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 6: You girls, it's reduced over time. I've gotten more comfortable
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 6: and I think scoop us really halt back in May
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 6: of last year. Yeah, just seeing everyone in person and
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 6: seeing how supportive everyone was, and y'all were not wrong.
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 6: You have like an amazing, incredible group of people behind
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 6: you and.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 1: Which special shout out to ice Cream Social Jacob. Indefinitely,
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 1: we are grateful that you, Paul, and that other asshole
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 1: have included.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 3: Us in your family. His name was Spaedoni.
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, very talented music, but anyway, just quick quick shout out,
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: thank you for letting us be a part of your universe.
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 3: It has made that This makes the next part of
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 3: this conversation even more awkwards. Oh no, breaking up with us,
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 3: good run. It's not you. It's just the venue has
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 3: a number of seats available, but we're on the fucking head.
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 3: We're on the Marquis. Yeah, yeah, I know.
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 4: If there was something we could do, I'd love to
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 4: do something about it, but my hands are tied.
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 3: You were saying that people turn out to be wondering.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 6: Yes, that was so helpful, just seeing meeting people face
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 6: to face and seeing how genuine everyone was and authentic
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 6: and yeah, just real people getting real tattoos.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 5: And Jim, you said this earlier. I've said this off
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 5: air before. I don't know if I've ever said this
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 5: on air.
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 3: And I should. How much you loved me?
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 6: Uh no, Uh.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 5: Jim mentioned that I have had problems in the past
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 5: with with listeners to various things, becoming possibly a little
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 5: over zealous. Uh and truly, Uh, that has because I
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 5: I have a rough idea about how many individual people
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 5: have listened to ice Cream Social over the years.
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, so not like subscriber numbers.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 5: I have a rough idea of like how many individuals,
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 5: and so I have constantly kind of in the back
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 5: of my head a circular going of like these people
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 5: have all listened to me in some way, shape or form,
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 5: Like that's always kind of spinning somewhere in the back
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 5: of my head.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 3: And what those.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 5: Very very small number of people that became a little
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 5: over zealous over some times. What that has done for
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 5: me is made me happier and more confident and hopeful
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 5: in people. Okay, because I know that out of the
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 5: not small number of people that have heard my voice
• 1:33:46
  Speaker 5: over the years, I know what the number is of
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 5: people that have become a little over zealous, and I
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 5: know out of those people the number of them that
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 5: really kind of crossed the line.
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it is such a vanishingly small number.
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 5: It isn't like that independent little piece of data that
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 5: is that doesn't mean anything scientifically, by the way, you know,
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 5: it didn't mean anything at all, doesn't doesn't doesn't.
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 3: Indicate anything or anything like that.
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 5: But that little piece of data has made me genuinely
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 5: happier and genuinely more confident in just people in general.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 3: That's a great point. That's a great point. It is
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 3: an extremely small number. Yeah.
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 5: And and like you know what's interesting too, come and
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 5: like statistically zero yeah, right, right, statistically.
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 3: Just almost nobody, almost nobody.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 1: Like one of the things that that has hit me
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: is when I've gotten onto the discord and groused about
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I really like people are say nice things
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 1: about the show, and I'll be like, you know, I
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 1: really do think this is special. I really do think
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: what we've created is a special show in the podcasting universe.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: I've sampled alternatives that are question and answer answer shows
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: with experts or with comedians. It is just hard to
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: pull off what we do, and I've I've kind of
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: groused and said, man, I really wish people would find us.
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 1: I really should get our shot. And it's funny because
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: I've had other like listeners of the show who have said,
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: on one hand, I love you guys, and I want
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: that for you. On the other hand, I love that
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 1: our community looks.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 3: The way it does.
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, chance, and if you guys went viral and blew up,
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: we would have no control over that. Right now, people
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 1: find us one at a time and they join the community.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 1: Every week we're like, oh, new therapeal, new therapod. They
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: just found us, they're joining the community, They're in the
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 1: discord now, they're chatting with us, and like, one by
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 1: one they get absorbed.
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 5: But you know what, I know that that's a little
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 5: not paranoid, but that's that's word I'm gonna use anyway,
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 5: because it's our listener saying it, so they know that
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 5: I am not telling them that they are actually paranoid.
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 3: I think that's what but but you know what I mean.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 5: But we've had that happen, right, And the examples that
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 5: you gave earlier in this episode, we talked about the
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 5: spikes that used to happen in listenership and and in
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 5: you know community back and forth. Yes, every time one
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 5: of these big spikes would happen, and that community surfed
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 5: right through all of that. No problem at all, right,
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 5: because the community is a different thing from the show, right,
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 5: And that's something we've figured out an ice cream social
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 5: afe very long time ago. Is you know, this community
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 5: that has happened around us, and the same thing has
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 5: happened here is not part of us.
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 3: That is the listeners. And it's nice.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 5: We get to think nice thoughts about ourselves and say
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 5: we attract good people and nice people who are kind
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 5: to each other. And this is a wonderful community, I mean,
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 5: and that's great and we I guess.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 3: We could say that.
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, it's still you people doing it, right,
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 5: It's still not us doing it like y'all the ones
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 5: just being nice to each other and being kind to
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 5: each other. And I don't think for a second, you know,
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 5: when three hundred new people would show up one week
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 5: and they'd be gone the next week, you know, because
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 5: of a Reddit thing that didn't phase you, guys.
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 3: I don't know why.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 5: I know there's six hundred people would do or another
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 5: thousand people would six million?
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 3: Six million people?
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 5: I mean, if six million people showed up in the
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 5: Discord tomorrow, that would probably be overwhelming.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for quite a few people.
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 1: But I mean, I promise you I would not post
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: if I noticed that there were six million people in there. Immediately,
• 1:37:18
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, Jim's going quiet for a while
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: and let other people sort this shit out.
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 3: You would change your identity if six million people know.
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 1: It's really funny because I'll post in the Discord. And
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: it's funny because like I've had people tell me this
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: over the years, because like they'll join the Discord and
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: they're surprised that we actually post in there, because like
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 1: I have a whole like channel that's just me talking about.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 3: The fucks on my mind.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: Today we were like, oh my god, that's actually Jim.
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's getting him to shut up. That's
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: the hard part. It's really neat day one. Yeah, you're
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: what you meant for lunch. He has a lot of thoughts.
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh God, I'd pay money for this. Is
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: that you really appreciate hearing from Jim right now?
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 4: To be honest with you, it's kind of like the
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 4: advice we gave the first Listener where it's like the things.
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: It's way more exciting than when when you meet heard
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 1: the story of the lady that was obsessed with Robert Pattinson.
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 1: So this girl was obsessed with Robert Pattinson. This is
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 1: post Twilight, so he's the hottest thing going right now,
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: and so she like is obsessed with him, and she's
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: like stalking him. She camps out in front of his
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 1: condo like in New York, and he keeps seeing her
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 1: every day and she's always standing in the street. She's like,
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: I love you, Robert Pattinson, You're the best. And one
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 1: day he sees her and he's like, you know what,
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 1: let's go on a date. And she's like, this is
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: the best day of my life. Like rober it turns
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 1: out he's so depressed, that's so dreary that she doesn't
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 1: want to go on.
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 3: A second date, don't meet sure social them.
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 5: Totally buys her dinner and everything, and by the end
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 5: of the day she's like this was great. Bye, and
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 5: he's like, can I get your number? And she's like no,
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 5: she went on with Robert Patson and want nothing to
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 5: do with him. That's how underwhelming I think we all
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 5: are in person.
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 3: I think, what are you actually know this? You're like, great,
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 3: that was nice, I'll see you next year at scoop Fest, Like, oh,
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 3: we should give each other. No, I'm good. Yeah, so
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 3: last question to the room here and we.
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 1: Can wrap up on a positive note, but like also
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 1: a useful note when people meet you, because we are
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: coming in to scoop Fest. I know I've felt intimidated before.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: I still feel intimidated. Like I've known Matt and Paul
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: for years. I see Jacob every single week, right, and
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: so like sometimes when I see Matt and Paul, I
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 1: still go through And maybe Nick, you probably feel this
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: even more than I do, because you've always been a fan.
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: But I still go through this, this moment where my
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: brain only knows their voices. Sure, so we'll hear Matt
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: speaking several people away from me and Matt and Paul
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: Salt of the Earth, human beings like they've never ever
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: acted better than anybody ever. Like I'll'll hang out with
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: them at Jacob selves will be a bonfire. It's invite only.
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: We're all buddies, we're all equals. And yet I'll still
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 1: there in the back of my mind is this like
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: brain cell that's going These gentlemen are famous and you're
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 1: lucky to be in their presence.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 3: That's why we invite you.
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that because I usually started still to one knee,
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: and I always shake hands by nodding down and looking
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: down and bowing in an Asian way, and so like
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: always these things.
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 3: So like when when you engage in.
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 5: Case you thought that he wasn't being hateful with that, Yeah,
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 5: that sense he means when he says bowing in an
• 1:40:19
  Speaker 5: Asian way that he squints his eyes before he bows.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 3: I think I showed that show that with my fingers
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 3: when I grabbed my face. Have time to run?
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah fine, you're like definitely not target number one. I
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: probably don't have to run, so about I'll bet a
• 1:40:35
  Speaker 1: nice brisk walk.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, come back for your keys. You'll be fine.
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Sorry, I just forgot that if I can just
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 1: grab that, is that fine?
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 3: Is right? You still half full?
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 6: Is this?
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna grab this? Also, this hot pocket has.
• 1:40:52
  Speaker 1: Like thirty seconds left if I can just wait, just
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 1: hang out. So I'm curious to the room now that
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 1: we've all done live events, and obviously Jacob way more
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 1: than any of us combined, But like, what do you
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: appreciate or how do you like to be approached or
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: not approached when people want to talk to you? Because
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 1: I've been in their position. I've been the fan who's unsure,
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: like we're gonna do a collaboration with Brian Brushwood and
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: God Willing Justin Robert Young during scoop Fest. I'm always
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: still intimidated every time I hang out with them, even
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: though they are the most salt of the earth, genuine dudes.
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: They absolutely just do not give a fuck about who
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 1: they are or what they've accomplished.
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 3: They do not care.
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: They are just straightforward dudes at a bar, hanging out
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: having drinks with you. If they're on your show, they're
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: grabbing MIC's, they're doing their part, they're having a great time.
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm always intimidated right Like, and I'm intimidated.
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be intimidated when we do ICs trivia, like
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: just because oh shit, like that, even Jacob, like Jacob
• 1:41:47
  Speaker 1: I see every fucking week. But then when he's on
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: the stage and he's officially doing ICs scoop Fest, I'm like,
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: oh shit, like this is the show, and like I'm here,
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: this whole audience just tolerates me, and they were ship
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: Jacob like they they are here for him.
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 3: Oh shit.
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 5: And so a lot of people are just go fawing
• 1:42:06
  Speaker 5: listening to their podcast playback machines right now.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: I've always I've been intimidated. I've been that person that's
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 1: intimidated but wants to be human because I'm at the
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 1: live event and I want to engage with the host,
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 1: who I really like, Yeah exactly.
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 3: Is it possible that we understand who we are better
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 3: than you do? Yeah? Yeah, it's very positive.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: So I wonder does anybody in the room have some
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: thoughts on if you're out there and you're coming to
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 1: scoop Fest, or you interact with a personality on a podcast.
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: You've heard us talk about what we're scared of, You've
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: heard us talk about the ins and outs of this.
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 1: Do we have any advice for the listener about Hey,
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: if you ever do meet us in the wild, or
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: you meet us at a special live event, here's some
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 1: advice on how to approach and how to have a conversation.
• 1:42:45
  Speaker 1: And here's even our willingness to have that, because I'm
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: sure some people are like, oh, you probably don't want
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 1: to talk to me. I'm so sorry, I'm even bothering you.
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 4: And it's like, no, that's literally the worst thing you think, sir,
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 4: and don't look me in they okay, good notes.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 6: Notes, No, I got that where everyone answers I had.
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 6: I just remembered this moment when I was at Backstreet
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 6: Boys concert. We're waiting and this short line take a
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 6: picture under this arch, and while we're waiting, some girl
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 6: like walks by these other random people next to us,
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 6: and the girl stops and looks at this couple and she.
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 7: Goes, oh my god, you do that YouTube show or
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 7: like channel or whatever.
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 6: And the girl goes, oh yeah, like she was very introverted,
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 6: caught off guard, right, girls like I.
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 7: Love your show. Oh my gosh, I love your channel.
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 6: And she's like, oh, thank you, and then the girl
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 6: just walks off. But it seemed like she was just
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 6: such a normal little human existing and was like surprise
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 6: somebody recognized her. I have no clue who she was,
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 6: but I was like, that is adorable, And it was
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 6: so relatable in that moment where you're like, especially YouTubers,
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 6: they're just usually sitting in their room with like a camera.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 6: There's no one else there, just like our podcast, we're
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 6: just sitting here and you're like, oh, yeah, people like
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 6: listen or watch those things, right, No.
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 3: No, you that's a good point.
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 6: But like.
• 1:43:56
  Speaker 3: So if you're listening and you happen to meet me
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 3: at Scoop Fast, please come up say hi. And I like,
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 3: it's also what that event is there? That is that event.
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 4: It's gotten to the point now where I look forward
• 1:44:13
  Speaker 4: to going back and catching up with all the people
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 4: I talked to last time, you know, And so it's
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 4: it's always fun to meet up with people. But I
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 4: will say I am absolutely terrible connecting names and faces together. Yeah,
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 4: because and it's not I I will remember you eventually,
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 4: but I just I'm terrible with names. I also am
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 4: not good at recognizing faces, so that doesn't help the situation. Please, humans, yeah,
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 4: please come up say hi now if you see me
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 4: in public outside of scoop Fest at an airport.
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 3: Make a huge deal about.
• 1:44:59
  Speaker 5: Come completely hit you if you completely especially if you
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 5: do that in front of my wife, and make big deal.
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 3: Yes, Like I have thought so many times of trying
• 1:45:09
  Speaker 3: to get my wife to go to Scoop. She'll never
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 3: fucking do it. She doesn't give a ship.
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: She barely is aware of this show, Like she is
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: only annoyed that I go to this, and like I
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 1: try to like, Oh.
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 3: Scoop is coming up. It's gonna be a lot of fun.
• 1:45:20
  Speaker 3: We're gonna do a trivia battle against ICs.
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: And she's like, I see it. Oh, is at your
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: friend Jacob show? Like, yeah, it's a show insane clown
• 1:45:28
  Speaker 1: pose or something. No, it's it's ice cream, It's it's
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 1: a it's not even the same that it's like a
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 1: feel good show, Like it's I don't know why I
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 1: s S would stand for right and just, but I
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: I have wet dreams of imagining her coming to like
• 1:45:40
  Speaker 1: a show and just every Like I've thought about what
• 1:45:43
  Speaker 1: I would do if I knew she was coming to
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 1: scoop Fest. I would go through the back like chats
• 1:45:47
  Speaker 1: like the discords and the Facebook messages everybody, my wife's
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: gonna be there, and you all to fucking just go
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: over the top.
• 1:45:54
  Speaker 3: I will pay you afterward. I'll buy drinks at the bar. Everybody,
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 3: just act like I'm a fucking big deal for a
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 3: minute and just let me feel like big shot.
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 4: I just really wanted to think it's important if I
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 4: don't have fifteen people around me.
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 3: At all times.
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I want ever to ask for fucking autograph change,
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 5: come back.
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 3: And ask again. It'd be great. I hope that would
• 1:46:13
  Speaker 3: be the best.
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: No, That's why I could never trust this group of fans,
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: because if I ever told this group of fans, hey,
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 1: my wife's coming, please make me feel like a big shot,
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 1: they would ruin that shit so fast for just the
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: glory of being the one who fucking reachs.
• 1:46:28
  Speaker 3: I'd love you. Yeah, yeah, Jim will give you if
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 3: you do it. I will love you forever. If you
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 3: don't you when you.
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 1: Up something that I think is really important, like if
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: you ever get to meet podcast hosts out in the wild.
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 1: We are just not inherently famous right like we're doing content.
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: We've done it for eight years. We happen to have
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 1: thousands and thousands of people who we get to be
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 1: part of their week and we're in their head, and
• 1:46:55
  Speaker 1: like we get to be part of their lives and
• 1:46:57
  Speaker 1: they've developed a parasocial relationship with us. We don't get
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: to experience that though, like we never do.
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 3: Well, that's the parasocial part that is, And like it's
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 3: so like for us.
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 1: It's hard for me sometimes to think of pod therapy
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: as bigger than the four of us in this room. Sure,
• 1:47:14
  Speaker 1: sometimes the only thing I want to do with pod
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 1: therapy is hang with my friends.
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 3: Which is I think all you can do.
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 5: I think that's all anybody can do if you're making
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 5: something that's going out. I genuinely don't think that people
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 5: have the cognitive ability to understand it. I know that
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 5: I don't, and I've never spoken to someone that I
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 5: was like, this person gets it. This person understands precisely
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 5: how many eyeballs are on them at all times and
• 1:47:43
  Speaker 5: really is just in the flow of it.
• 1:47:46
  Speaker 3: And even people that I've I have been around in
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 3: my career.
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 5: Enormous stars, right, You're hugely successful people that everyone listening
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 5: to this show has heard of, and they're just doing
• 1:47:59
  Speaker 5: the same thing.
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 3: We're all just doing the same thing.
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 5: There's one show business and we're all just working through
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 5: and we're all just doing that thing.
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's true on the macro level, and we
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 1: also truly do exist on a micro level. Certainly, we
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: do not go to a bar and somebody goes, oh
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 1: my god, I've heard of pod therapy.
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 3: It's not that big of a ding. So when we
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 3: get like, if you're ever.
• 1:48:19
  Speaker 5: Maybe a couple of times a month, oh wow, I
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 5: get a couple of times a month of someone has therapy, right, yeah, yeah,
• 1:48:28
  Speaker 5: I'll get a couple of times a month someone has.
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 3: You know, Best of Las Vegas, Jim Jovin. You have
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 3: to let me say the thing that happens a couple
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 3: of times a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:48:37
  Speaker 5: If someone says something to them about something that I
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 5: do and they go, oh, I've heard of that.
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, so.
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 3: That's that's all I'm talking about.
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 5: Uh, the recognized thing has happened to me a handful
• 1:48:49
  Speaker 5: of times, but that doesn't happen.
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 6: So it is.
• 1:48:51
  Speaker 1: It is one of the most flattering things in the
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: world for me. When at an event somebody says something nice,
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: or if somebody mess you on discord or messages to
• 1:49:02
  Speaker 1: the show and says, hey, I genuinely appreciate it. Here's
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 1: why I like what y'all do. Or if I've had
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: people at scoopes so pulled me aside and said hey, Jim,
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 1: and they're always really polite about it. They're like, hey, buddy,
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel cornered. I don't want
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 1: you to feel like obligated.
• 1:49:15
  Speaker 3: To talk to me. But I do have some thoughts.
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 3: I love your show, right, I love the show. I
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 3: love what you do.
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 6: Man.
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 1: I've had people like kind of pull me aside and
• 1:49:24
  Speaker 1: say even just very endearing things of like hey, Bud,
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: I sense a certain character. Yeah, I sense a character
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: that you play on the show. I think sometimes that's
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: for me and I appreciate you. And here's why that
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 1: was helpful for me during a hard time. And like, wow, man,
• 1:49:39
  Speaker 1: that means the world to me, Like, thank you so much,
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: because like I'm not a celebrity, right, I'll never hear
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: that again. And so I'm a big fan of like
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: giving people their flowers while they can smell them.
• 1:49:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 1: Just some general advice from my chair is kind of
• 1:49:51
  Speaker 1: echoing Nick. Like at our level, it means the world
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 1: to hear something nice, you know, to like see like,
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I remember Whitney. I remember seeing a picture
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: of Whitney at last year's Jacob's Whiskey Barbecue, Okay, and
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: she was taking a picture with Scoopy Scoopy jest Chess,
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: who was wearing a Pew Pew Texas shirt good and
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: had a little hand figurine on her finger, and she
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 1: was grabbing Whitney's titty.
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 3: Great.
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 1: And I remember seeing this picture and I went to Whitney.
• 1:50:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this looks like so
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: much fun. And Whitney's first words were, she asked permission to.
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 3: Grab my titty.
• 1:50:24
  Speaker 2: That's a really good point, shoe just for everybody permission
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 2: ask Whitney's permission.
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 3: She will let me. You just assume you can grab
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 3: our titty. Policy is a shall grant policy? Yeah yeah,
• 1:50:42
  Speaker 3: I do have to check. Yeah, yeah, you have to check.
• 1:50:45
  Speaker 1: I remember Whitney just being like over the moon that
• 1:50:48
  Speaker 1: like this random chick grabbed her titties.
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 3: And was wearing a shirt and was just she was
• 1:50:54
  Speaker 3: so thrilled about it.
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: So anyway, just but my last thought on that is
• 1:50:57
  Speaker 1: just it means the world to us to feel like
• 1:50:58
  Speaker 1: real human skilled something.
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 3: In all seriousness, though, I think you should ask permission
• 1:51:04
  Speaker 3: before grabbing Whitney's.
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 5: Death number one, specifically, only grab Titney's. There's a Patreon
• 1:51:13
  Speaker 5: level where you don't have that you could achieve permission.
• 1:51:16
  Speaker 4: There's there's always a number. Of course, all of this,
• 1:51:22
  Speaker 4: all of this is leading up perfectly to my point.
• 1:51:24
  Speaker 7: Go ahead, seriousness, he said, yeah, because.
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 4: Like it's I I don't for a second think that
• 1:51:32
  Speaker 4: Whitney's experience joining the show was anything compared to the
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 4: three of ours. Okay, yeah, you mean because I have
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 4: never once in the entire seven years of doing the
• 1:51:46
  Speaker 4: podcast been concerned, well no pre Whitney about anybody being
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 4: rude or disrespectful or anything towards us. It wasn't until
• 1:51:59
  Speaker 4: Whitney he started that now is like, oh now I'm
• 1:52:02
  Speaker 4: paying attention to Shift on Discord.
• 1:52:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, then we became.
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 4: Because then it's like, because like it's a different thing
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 4: I think for somebody to make comments about I mean,
• 1:52:12
  Speaker 4: there's been times where somebody has said something to you, Jim,
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 4: and and we or the moderators have come in and said, hey,
• 1:52:21
  Speaker 4: I get that you're joking, but let's just dial it
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 4: back a little bit. Yeah, but that happens almost never.
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, right, I think, And it's not something most
• 1:52:29
  Speaker 3: of the time that that happens.
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 5: It is just a a lack of like, oh this
• 1:52:33
  Speaker 5: didn't this didn't translate the way you thought it was
• 1:52:35
  Speaker 5: going to trans Yeah, yeah, totally.
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 3: It's always with the best intentions. It's just it's because
• 1:52:42
  Speaker 3: you probably wanted it to.
• 1:52:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, that's Nick, you bring up a really good
• 1:52:46
  Speaker 1: point because like, and this is something that other people
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 1: moderators have talked to people in the discord about before.
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 1: They're like, hey, Nick, Jacob and Whitney talked to Jim
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 1: a certain way. They are literally his only friend. They
• 1:53:01
  Speaker 1: can do that, and like that's part of the fun
• 1:53:03
  Speaker 1: of the show. That's a special chemistry of the show.
• 1:53:07
  Speaker 1: Jacob throws poker chips at his face live.
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 3: He got hit.
• 1:53:11
  Speaker 1: It wasn't pretending to get hit. He got smacked in
• 1:53:14
  Speaker 1: the face. Yeah, and they're gonna get a beer afterward.
• 1:53:16
  Speaker 1: It's fine, but we have to be mindful that, like
• 1:53:20
  Speaker 1: he's not our punching bag, Like that's part of the joke. Like,
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 1: you're absolutely right, but like, and I see your point
• 1:53:25
  Speaker 1: there too. When Whitney joined. I think we all felt like,
• 1:53:28
  Speaker 1: all right, but everybody tread lightly here like she's not
• 1:53:33
  Speaker 1: you can't do that to her, Like she's special, she's
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: kind of our baby.
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 3: Don't fuck around with Whitney. And everybody's always been really
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 3: sweet to you.
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 5: I think for the most part, everybody's ever you hilarious
• 1:53:44
  Speaker 5: that you all thought that Jacob did not feel that.
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 3: We always thought to need to protect you.
• 1:53:50
  Speaker 5: I did think about the fact that Whitney was on
• 1:53:53
  Speaker 5: the show. Yeah you were aware of it came to
• 1:53:57
  Speaker 5: uh being mean to Whitney. I genuinely had the thought of,
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 5: like I.
• 1:54:04
  Speaker 6: Have to yeah, no, yeah, if I'm not mean to Whitney,
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 6: then it's yeah, yeah, that's true.
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 5: Like if I don't like Whitney's just episode, you're being
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 5: a bitch.
• 1:54:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but he just calls.
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 1: But this goes back to the idea of why podcasts
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 1: I think are so special, because there is this pick
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: up on the culture of like, Okay, I know this
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 1: dynamic between these four people, and like I am a listener,
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 1: I align with one of the hosts more like my
• 1:54:33
  Speaker 1: personality aligns with one of those people more.
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 3: But when I meet them in person, it is tricky.
• 1:54:38
  Speaker 1: Sometimes because you just want to jump in because you
• 1:54:40
  Speaker 1: feel like you've known them all along, and it is
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: a little it's like jumping onto one of those walk
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 1: those moving stair like uh walkways at the airport, where
• 1:54:49
  Speaker 1: you feel like, oh shit, like I I want to
• 1:54:51
  Speaker 1: walk at this speed, but like I'm not quite at
• 1:54:53
  Speaker 1: that speed. I've noticed that before where people have jumped
• 1:54:56
  Speaker 1: in with me at scoop Fest with a joke that
• 1:54:58
  Speaker 1: like plays off of something we we're just doing or something,
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 1: and I would have totally seen that joke coming from Jacob, Yes,
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 1: because I'm.
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 3: Used to Jacob. I don't know.
• 1:55:09
  Speaker 1: We're just doing the show, right, I'm just doing the show.
• 1:55:11
  Speaker 1: And so when Jacob picks up another bit that like
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: I'm used to, I'm like, oh, yep, got it. Somebody
• 1:55:16
  Speaker 1: else will pick it up and be like, oh Jim
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: this that, and I'm like oh, and like I'll start
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 1: I'll stab.
• 1:55:21
  Speaker 3: Her for a second, and they I see the horror
• 1:55:23
  Speaker 3: in their face, like I'm so sorry. I really like you.
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 5: I'm saying I'm trying to rip you because like I
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 5: thought we were buddies, and I'm like and I'm.
• 1:55:30
  Speaker 1: Like reassuring them, everything's great, You're fine, I'm sorry. I
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 1: just I just don't have a mental model for you yet.
• 1:55:36
  Speaker 1: You're impersonating Jacob right now in a interaction, and I
• 1:55:39
  Speaker 1: get why you're doing that, right, Like that comes from
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: a good place. But it is a unique dynamic.
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 5: So and it is people people have talked to me
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 5: over the years. It's just yeah, and they just express it,
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 5: and they express it very eloquently. It is I know
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 5: you very well, right, you don't know who I am, right,
• 1:55:58
  Speaker 5: And that is a weird relationship, yeah, because you're like
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 5: I'm in your ear holes hours and hours like whatever
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 5: it is.
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 3: And like you feel like you have a sense of camaraderie, yes,
• 1:56:10
  Speaker 3: with the four of us. Cool I do.
• 1:56:13
  Speaker 5: And and honestly, I'm thrilled that you have that sense
• 1:56:16
  Speaker 5: because that's that's what we want, what we're going for,
• 1:56:19
  Speaker 5: that's the goal. Yes, So like I'm really happy when
• 1:56:22
  Speaker 5: people people come to me apologetically with that.
• 1:56:25
  Speaker 3: And and I always say, like, no, no, that is
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 3: that is the thing.
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 5: The thing is you're listening to this, because it would
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 5: be silly for me to do this without anybody listening
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 5: to it. That would be real weird. Yeah, but like
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 5: I am doing this thing. I know what it is
• 1:56:40
  Speaker 5: like you're listening to it. Yeah, that's great. I'm I
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 5: want you to listen to it. I want people to
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 5: listen to it. It's why, it's why we do these things.
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 5: So when they come up to me they say, I
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 5: know all these things about you, I go, that's great,
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 5: but I and and now tell me about you.
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 3: Right, this is wonderful. I'm actually interested because you.
• 1:56:59
  Speaker 5: Don't want to have a thing that I can tell
• 1:57:01
  Speaker 5: you that you're going to be interested in or don't
• 1:57:03
  Speaker 5: know about me already.
• 1:57:05
  Speaker 3: So let's hear it. What you got. I can't wait.
• 1:57:10
  Speaker 3: You're a You're a dentist. What the fuck is?
• 1:57:15
  Speaker 5: That's amazing to me because that's just another world to me,
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 5: Like I know how to get on stage and how
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 5: to talk to people and talk on microphones and stuff.
• 1:57:25
  Speaker 3: Cool know anything about It's.
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 7: Hard to hear all the different things people do, whether
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 7: it's hobbies.
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my gosh, we want to hear about
• 1:57:36
  Speaker 5: people we want and like. For events like scoop Fest,
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 5: I want to say very clearly, these are events for you.
• 1:57:44
  Speaker 5: These are events for you to come up and talk
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 5: to us and and and like for us to have
• 1:57:49
  Speaker 5: these interactions like that's we want to do that. We
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 5: want to have the event so that that people can
• 1:57:54
  Speaker 5: can share experiences with each other. And we want to
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 5: be a part of that as well.
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 3: We we want to be we we want to be
• 1:58:00
  Speaker 3: included in the in the in all of it. And
• 1:58:03
  Speaker 3: uh so, yeah, we want to be part of that. Yeah,
• 1:58:06
  Speaker 3: if you see me out in public, be cool. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:58:09
  Speaker 3: come talk to me.
• 1:58:10
  Speaker 1: I want to hear from you. Announce yourself, tell us
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 1: you listen. I listened to your one of your shows,
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 1: Game the show, so we kind of know where you're
• 1:58:16
  Speaker 1: coming from. And then hey man, you know, give us
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 1: a feel because we never know if you're gonna be
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 1: like I've heard your show and I fucking hate you.
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 3: You know, like that could happen.
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 1: So it's nice to hear you say like, I've listened
• 1:58:25
  Speaker 1: to the show, I really like it. Great, Okay, good,
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 1: Now I know where we stand and then we're where
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: we can talk right and be really natural. So don't
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 1: don't be afraid to talk to people, don't be afraid
• 1:58:34
  Speaker 1: to connect. It really means a lot and I'm excited
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 5: And also, you're gonna know instantly if it's a bad time, right,
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 5: you're gonna you're gonna know if you see gentlem at
• 1:58:44
  Speaker 5: a restaurant with his sitting around with his kids, don't
• 1:58:47
  Speaker 5: bother somebody with That's a good general rule for anyone.
• 1:58:50
  Speaker 3: No, I'm sorry, you're wrong. Okay.
• 1:58:53
  Speaker 1: That's when you make a deal out of it. You're
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 1: trying to impress your show. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, let
• 1:58:59
  Speaker 1: me go. There's a correct move. Yeah yeah, there's an
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 1: absolutely correct move where you just act like I am
• 1:59:06
  Speaker 1: Brad Pitt and you walk up and go, I am
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 1: so sorry.
• 1:59:09
  Speaker 3: I never do this.
• 1:59:11
  Speaker 1: You Jim from bod Therapy, Jim will yell at you.
• 1:59:15
  Speaker 1: He's gonna make us see, I'm gonna make it seem
• 1:59:17
  Speaker 1: like you've just overset us. Yeah, I'm like, excuse me, peasant,
• 1:59:21
  Speaker 1: I'm here with my family.
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 3: But that's part of the bit.
• 1:59:24
  Speaker 1: You'd be like, I, of course you, I am sorry,
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: Yes exactly, it's part of the bit. And he's like,
• 1:59:29
  Speaker 1: oh my god, your family so lovely. I'm so sorry.
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 1: Can I buy your meal? You know, like I'll still
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 1: pay for it.
• 1:59:34
  Speaker 3: You don't have to actually do that, but.
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 1: Like, you know, just I'll be like, of course you
• 1:59:37
  Speaker 1: can popper you should you've bothered me anyway, We're gonna
• 1:59:43
  Speaker 1: take quick break and when we come back, we're wrapping
• 1:59:45
  Speaker 1: up the show.
• 1:59:45
  Speaker 3: We're skipping trivia because the time we are anonymous. Anonymous,
• 1:59:51
  Speaker 3: you got your money's worth to day you did.
• 1:59:52
  Speaker 1: You're listening about there, but it turns out all I
• 1:59:55
  Speaker 1: have to do is ask us to talk about ourselves.
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: Today's I was brought to you by Smitty scoof Mason Miller,
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  Speaker 1: the week of Scoop Fest to the general public on Thursday,
• 2:00:35
  Speaker 1: to the Patreon audience on Wednesday, I have released on
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 1: Monday of this week through our Patreon the crackt a
• 2:00:42
  Speaker 1: link to a YouTube video that I have created which
• 2:00:46
  Speaker 1: goes through a deep dive FBI report on political assassins
• 2:00:51
  Speaker 1: and the virology of them, and specifically about the Charlie
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 1: kirkshooting and how mental health practitioners can deal with this
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 1: and do.
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 3: Better with this.
• 2:01:00
  Speaker 1: So really deep dive, really hardcore science, deep deep deep
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  Speaker 1: stuff that's at patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 2:01:08
  Speaker 3: So you got that through your new connection with the FBI.
• 2:01:10
  Speaker 1: Right ever since I've joined them, which I'm excited to
• 2:01:13
  Speaker 1: be a part of. So yeah, if you are interested
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 1: in this kind of stuff and our our mainstream talk
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  Speaker 1: today about some of the details of this kind of
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  Speaker 1: picked your curiosity.
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  Speaker 3: Patreon dot com slash.
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  Speaker 1: Therapy, you can hear me go on a thirty minute
• 2:01:27
  Speaker 1: YouTube video with visuals deep dive and.
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 3: If you've ever been like, what does Jim look like?
• 2:01:31
  Speaker 3: Now you can see patreon dot com slash therapy. But
• 2:01:34
  Speaker 3: we've got some new friends to the therap party, Nick,
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 3: who is new to our community. We got a new
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 3: fair appal bad a Emily. Hell yeah, Emily's bad And
• 2:01:44
  Speaker 3: it just clicked, like I just realized that must badass Emily.
• 2:01:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what that means or bad attitude. I just
• 2:01:51
  Speaker 1: got that Ba Barcas from the A team was bad Yeah,
• 2:01:56
  Speaker 1: so I never know.
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 3: It could stand for bad speller. Oh there's that. That's
• 2:02:02
  Speaker 3: also okay.
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 1: And we have a new their producer, Ellie O'Dare upgrade it.
• 2:02:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you, welcome back, el love you, that's so great
• 2:02:13
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• 2:02:15
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• 2:02:20
  Speaker 1: love you all so much they give till it hurts
• 2:02:23
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• 2:02:27
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• 2:02:30
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• 2:03:25
  Speaker 4: If you would like to do this episode uncut and unedited,
• 2:03:29
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• 2:03:36
  Speaker 4: and thank you for Sporting mental Health.
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 1: That's all the time we got for this week, says
• 2:03:39
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• 2:03:44
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  Speaker 3: I'm Nick Tangment, I'm Jim. Thanks and we'll see you
• 2:04:19
  Speaker 3: for your appointment next week to see you all at scoop,
• 2:04:23
  Speaker 3: best you at the Cone, See at the Cone.
• 2:04:28
  Speaker 5: I saw that bit and I was like, this is great.
• 2:04:31
  Speaker 5: I love that we're co opting see you at the Bowl.
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 5: Oh no, it came from a Donnelly's story. It was
• 2:04:37
  Speaker 5: see you at the Throne.
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, same idea, idea, same idea. Oh that's great, all right, everybody,
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 3: Bye bye