Latest / Voices for Voices® / Don Matis, Jr. on What It Takes to Stay Sober 40 Years | Episode 503

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Don Matis, Jr. on What It Takes to Stay Sober 40 Years | Episode 503 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Speaker: Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:06
  Speaker: This is Justin Alan Hayes.
• 0:08
  Speaker: We're grateful to be out in nature today, a bright and sunny day, and we're out here for a bright and sunny uh cause as well.
• 0:19
  Speaker: So uh the guest uh is with me.
• 0:22
  Speaker: Uh we've had on the show uh a couple times, so we're always glad to catch up uh with him and uh his ministry and just helping people in general.
• 0:32
  Speaker: But today is really uh a day about Don and uh what what he's been through and today to the day that we're filming this uh is 40 years uh sober from alcohol and and from from drugs.
• 0:52
  Speaker: So uh Don Matis Jr.
• 0:54
  Speaker: is with us, so thanks for joining us as always.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: You're welcome, Justin.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Thanks for uh inviting me again and being at my party.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: It's so great to see Justin, he does a great job.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: And look at this beautiful nature today.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Look at that 40 years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: If I can do it, so can you, and I encourage you.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: If you're still drinking, take a break.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: If you are drinking, you want to get off of it, find a sponsor or go to a meeting.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: It's very helpful to be around healthy people.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Because that world, as you already know, is a nightmare, especially when you black out, as you know.
• 1:32
  Speaker: Yeah, and we spent uh a lot of our previous time together talking about your your your journey, but uh let's talk a little bit about the the celebration of yeah, this is a time to celebrate, and you can celebrate for something like that.
• 1:53
  Speaker: This isn't uh some taboo topic that uh to show that we can celebrate in sobriety if if that is uh something that uh an individual chooses.
• 2:07
  Speaker: Uh, but uh maybe if you just want to recount your your story just real at a high level for those that may not have joined our shows in the in the past, just your your journey, and then we'll talk about what it feels like today.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: So, as you know, in recovery it's one minute at a time.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So I talked to co-pilot and calculated for four years I've been over sober for 1.2 billion seconds.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So just think about that.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: So every second I had to make a decision to be straight, to not drink.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: And you could do the same.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: My level of sobriety came from uh I started out sexual abuse at the age of 10, started partying with 11 to 12, started out with blue, then went to marijuana, and then went up the ladder all the way to heroin.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, what a nasty world that is, and that world you get involved with those people, it's an occasion to sin.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: You have no idea the danger you put yourself in.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I just met a woman whose son was murdered on the porch randomly by a drive-by.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: He was just at a friend's house, but they were probably doing something shady.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know the whole story, but just think of that an occasion like that where the poor woman lost her son.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So when you drink, you're putting yourself in danger.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: And I always suggest to people who drink, take a break one day and just go to the bar.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: It might sound strange.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Go with a straight friend and watch people how they change over a period of time.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: At the end of the night, you don't recognize them, they can't even talk.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: They all have marbles around.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Justin.
• 3:51
  Speaker: Oh, yeah.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Does that cover what you want to know?
• 3:54
  Speaker: It does, yeah.
• 3:54
  Speaker: Uh so we're here at Hudson Springs Park.
• 3:59
  Speaker: Hudson Springs Park.
• 4:00
  Speaker: You see the beautiful lake behind us, the the blue sky, the night, nice clouds, and greenery.
• 4:09
  Speaker: I couldn't have asked for anything more.
• 4:12
  Speaker: Uh, how does it feel uh to to be 40 years of anything, but to be sober, you said you were you're up on a because you were you were happy.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I got goose piples when I I mean uh it's hard to reflect some days of 40 years.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: It goes by so fast, but I'm so happy and excited.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: What really makes it happen is the people that I've met on this journey of all walks of life, they are the golden treasures of life, is people because you never know why God sends them into your life.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: They might be there for one minute, but you might be having a bad moment and you might make a decision like, oh, I'm gonna drink again, or I'm gonna do this and that.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: But most people uplift you when you tell them 40 years are jaw drops, and it's amazing to comprehend 40 years.
• 5:02
  Speaker: 40 years of anything is just remarkable.
• 5:05
  Speaker: Yes.
• 5:05
  Speaker: Working, uh to to be uh sober, you make you make that decision every single day, every minute, because you could fall back and at any any moment in time and say, hey, you know what, I'll just have one.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: That's what the devil tells you.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: The devil goes, Oh, you're 40 years, take a drink.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: No, you never take a drink because guess what?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: The disease is in the corner doing these push-ups, and they get strong, and he's growing his big muscle, and they're always after you.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Not to be paranoid, but to be aware.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I had friends fall off the wagon after 20-some years.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And you imagine the guilt if you fall off the wagon you would feel, and the shame.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And then also, you are you become 10 times crazier.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: That's the truth.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and did you know emotionally when the age you start drinking, that's your emotional age.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: So I had a lot of growing up to do.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So I started 11-12, so I was a little kid.
• 6:05
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 6:06
  Speaker: So uh those uh viewers, listeners, whether they're in the United States or across the world, uh, may not have caught any of our previous episodes.
• 6:17
  Speaker: Can you just explain the purple?
• 6:18
  Speaker: Because it's for people who are like wondering, like how purple?
• 6:23
  Speaker: Yeah, why not blue?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I got you.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm Catholic and I'm proud to be Catholic.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Purple's for prayer, penance, and fast, fasting.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I'm a jester, I wear a jester hat for a purpose to be assigned to God's people.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So people come up to talk to me and they become vulnerable and they tell me what's going on, they feel secure, and I try to love them where they're at.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So everybody that I ever meet, I picture them wearing uh a hospital gown so I could have compassion and mercy on them.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: And also they're wearing a giant Christmas presents because they have a gift.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And living this life of sobriety, I think everybody should be proud of it.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: You should never be ashamed.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: It's a disease, man.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: We're terminally old people, because one drink could actually kill you.
• 7:10
  Speaker: Yeah, and it too again, it's just so so easy.
• 7:16
  Speaker: I mean, I'm going through a little bit, you know, my myself, uh going on nine years, coming up in November, and um it's uh it's a decision that you you can make.
• 7:27
  Speaker: It's so easy to to fall back and just say, uh, I'll just have one, or I'll just do this just this one time.
• 7:34
  Speaker: And uh it's just remarkable that there is somebody like yourself that is so happy about that.
• 7:43
  Speaker: Because some people could be like, oh, well, you know, you must have a depressing life.
• 7:46
  Speaker: Yeah, maybe having depression, but right uh you know, oh, you must have a not fun or a depressing life because you're sober.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: That was the biggest thing back in the day when the devil would go, oh, there's no more fun.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You have more fun now because you see clearly, your eyes are open, you can see without clouds in them.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: You see reality, you see what's really going on, and guess what?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You get to know yourself.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You learn to love yourself, and you're gonna love God.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Look at the gifts he has given me to share with all these beautiful people that came the 40 years.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Look at Justin Alan, and he's a rating his struggle to you, he's relating it to you to give you courage and hope.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: If we could do it, so can you.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: But the best thing to is to pray for all evil people to leave your life and ask God to send you holy and good people that really love you who you are, and not going to manipulate, control you, and play games.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Jesus loves you and so do I.
• 8:45
  Speaker: Absolutely.
• 8:45
  Speaker: And we're probably outside the time range of uh having another commitment.
• 8:52
  Speaker: Yeah, I understand.
• 8:52
  Speaker: With uh with my daughter uh and her recital.
• 8:57
  Speaker: So we're having to film this a little bit earlier.
• 9:00
  Speaker: So I was hoping that we could have the the mayor on, but how does it feel to also on this day to be it?
• 9:11
  Speaker: You're not just receiving a proclamation, you're like you earn the proclamation.
• 9:16
  Speaker: Not everybody gets that.
• 9:17
  Speaker: The mayor of uh Stowe Ohio uh is is gonna be stopping by.
• 9:23
  Speaker: And uh how how does that feel to you know you're not in it for like the trophies and that you you would never think of such a thing when you start your uh journey of sobriety.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, 40 years goes by and you're getting a proclamation from a mayor of a town.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: That's outstanding.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I I'm just overwhelmed with joy.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just so grateful that he's recognized me and my the work I've done to help others.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: It's I just got goosebumples everywhere.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be it's so happy they, yeah.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: And then that it's so happy to be alive, man.
• 9:57
  Speaker: And I can't emphasize it enough that you can go on with with your life and you can have fun, you can laugh, you can do you can do all those things and still make a choice if you know it's uh not really against anybody who if they you know wanted to drink or have drinks and that if you could handle it, yeah.
• 10:19
  Speaker: That's something that we're not saying.
• 10:21
  Speaker: No people can do that, yeah.
• 10:24
  Speaker: But I'm I'm the same way because if I have one, I I can't just have one.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: We'll drink the whole store.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you put five gallons of alcohol in front of us, I'll drink the whole thing out to my bed.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: It's scary.
• 10:34
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Speaker: So what else do you do in your your ministry, your uh your miraculous medals?
• 10:40
  Speaker: You oh yeah uh you you surpass 10,000.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: 20,000.
• 10:46
  Speaker: Now you're at 20,000 surpassing 20,000.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: What I learned is God puts people in your life in bars, casinos, wherever I'm at, shopping centers, and I always give them a medal, or I give them buttons now.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I love giving out buttons for it's loving thy neighbor in a small way, but in my bar ministry, I scale up miraculous medals and people would come back and thank you for them.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: They didn't know it was some said it was a charm, but I didn't correct them right away.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I say, you know what?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: This is a gift to you, but a metal at them they put in their wallet.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: It's a small action life I learned that people love.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: The encouragement.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: This is where we gotta encourage each other on the path of sobriety.
• 11:25
  Speaker: Yeah, most important.
• 11:26
  Speaker: Yeah, because if there's no alternative, then it's oh well, this is just what what we do.
• 11:32
  Speaker: We just yeah, go down this path because there's no alternative, there's no a role model, you know, somebody to look up to, and you know, whether it's on the show or getting the proclamation, yeah, uh earning the proclamation, having earned, because you're at 40 years, so it's not you're still you're you're still going, yeah.
• 11:54
  Speaker: And it like it's 40 days and so many seconds and minutes, and it's gonna continue.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Uh you can never think you're gonna stay sober the rest of your life.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: You can't get in that trap.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: If you're 10 years sober, 20, 50, 100, you gotta live in the present moment.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: And I always pray, Jesus, let me live in the present moment today.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: This is all I have.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I got to meet Justin Alan and his mother and all my friends that came to support me on this journey.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: It means a lot to me, it means everything to have people that really love you because a lot of times you got to divorce your own family, yeah.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And that's that's hard.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: People go, Well, you don't love them.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I'd divorce my family.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: If I didn't divorce them, I could have been drinking and getting high again because they knew how to push the buttons.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: And my confessor, he told me, You gotta your whole life is geared just for sobriety to say try to learn to be sane, to have sanity.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had to do it, but it's painful because I love them and I pray for them, but I can't be around people like that, they'll destroy me.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying.
• 13:00
  Speaker: Yeah, and that just shows you know the people you have in in your life, it may be a huge number, you know, you're you're you're going through education, and like who has all these friends and who's getting invite all the parties, and now it's like it feels good to be able to think as well as we can as a human and with our brains, and and the damage that we've we've done to them.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: The mental damage, physical damage, emotional damage.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Like I said before, I started drinking 1112.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I was an immature kid, and I did compulsive behavior.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: It's it's so crazy how you become a slave to alcohol and drug world.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: It's so subtle, and all of a sudden you're captured into it, and you're doing things you'd never do if you were straight, you would never enter your mind.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I did some crazy things.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And one of the most powerful stories, I remember I was in the joint and I met this guy, and he was going on his way to the High State Penn, it was a county joint, and I asked you jail talk, you go, What are you in here for?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: He goes, I killed four people and don't remember it.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I was on heroin.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, can you imagine that's a consequence of being that high?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Doesn't remember it.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine the judge gave him life?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Wow, even though he didn't remember it.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, just think of that torture your mind.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, going, I didn't do it.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, you did.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: No, I you did it because they had the proof.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, four people we blew away on heroin.
• 14:38
  Speaker: Oh my gosh, yeah, and that's that's it.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It's like DUIs, how many people I could hit when I was driving drunk.
• 14:45
  Speaker: Yeah, me too.
• 14:46
  Speaker: Yeah, it's uh uh it I mean, just the inspiration that you're you given over the years to me since we've met, and what what what you and and and Monica, uh how you're helping people, and that's why we wanted to come out even though it was not as long here.
• 15:10
  Speaker: I tried to get her a little bit early so we could catch you uh while you're uh uh conversating with with uh the the people that come to celebrate you.
• 15:22
  Speaker: Uh when was the last time people celebrated you?
• 15:26
  Speaker: Yeah, good question.
• 15:28
  Speaker: I mean, I don't know.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Birthdays, I love birthdays.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: My friend Monica, we always celebrate big birthdays.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: You might as well I celebrate a week before, a week after.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, that that's precious.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, your mother gave you birth.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: It's just exciting.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: But it it it's like you're the only person, one of the only people who ask about myself.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Most people don't even ask me.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: No one asks me ever what kind of work I did or anything.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I don't really need that, but it's nice when people do like you to get involved in a situation because then it gives you encouragement to keep going on the road because you always need encouragement to keep going.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I don't want anybody fool you.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I don't care how long you're sober, you always need the love of somebody to help you to push you forward.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you don't have that, man.
• 16:14
  Speaker: Yeah, and I mean uh every day is a battle from yes, you know, right and wrong, and you know, so you know you're not getting invited to banquets, and I'm not getting invited to banquets like, hey, look, and people are you know, some people, some people watch, some people listen to the show, um, and they're like, oh, what's this, you know, voices for voices, organization what is it?
• 16:36
  Speaker: And like, well, yeah, now that you know we uh have we're we surpassed the 500 toe episodes.
• 16:44
  Speaker: That's awesome.
• 16:45
  Speaker: Uh and it's and it's just kind of the the the same thing of of just uh being able to celebrate something that might seem minor to some, but it's it's it's a big deal because we're we're helping people.
• 17:04
  Speaker: We don't we're not gonna meet everybody we we help, right?
• 17:08
  Speaker: But by having this platform, we're at least given the opportunity.
• 17:11
  Speaker: If somebody stumbles upon, you know, they're scrolling down, they're like, oh, what's this?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: And you're exposing the reality of alcohol and drugs in that mental illness, the world of mental illness.
• 17:21
  Speaker: Absolutely.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: And Jesus said in scripture, you gotta love thy neighbor as thyself, you gotta practice that every day, not once a week.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, look at the great gift Justin Alan is doing his hard work and the and the suffering he has to go through each day to make the decision to keep going and deal with his own situation and his problems.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: We all across the bear, so let's help each other carry it.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: That's simple, really.
• 17:43
  Speaker: Absolutely, right?
• 17:44
  Speaker: Yeah, so uh congratulations on your uh 40 years of sobriety and uh and sending the invite to me.
• 17:59
  Speaker: I you know, I wouldn't miss it unless I was not not not in town, right?
• 18:04
  Speaker: Uh so glad to be here and you know here's the 40 more years of uh support Justin Alan, man.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Seriously, he's doing a great job, and he's real.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: He's not a phony baloney type of interviewer.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: He really cares.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Look at him.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: God bless you, brother.
• 18:24
  Speaker: Thank you.
• 18:24
  Speaker: Any last word?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Uh I love you all.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Get sober, man.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Go to a meeting, find a sponsor, do what you need to do, get away from the evil people.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: It will save your life, but also will help save others down the road.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: It's so awesome.
• 18:38
  Speaker: Absolutely.
• 18:39
  Speaker: So if you're out there, can you give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, repost.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Voices for voices.
• 18:46
  Speaker: Even reach into your phone that we all have, and maybe read maybe 25 contacts you have, let them know about uh our organization.
• 18:55
  Speaker: Um, but for this episode specifically, uh know that sobriety can be done and you can live life and be happy.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Sorriety rocks.
• 19:06
  Speaker: Right.
• 19:06
  Speaker: Thank you so much.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, love you, brother.
• 19:09
  Speaker: Thank you.