Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 29. Making career decisions with clarity as a mother [my interview on The Worthy Mother Podcast]

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29. Making career decisions with clarity as a mother [my interview on The Worthy Mother Podcast] · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

0:00
Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, whatever.
0:03
Time it is that you're listening to this wherever you are.
0:06
Hello, my name is Andrea bar. This is the all figured out
0:09
podcast. Today, we have a very different
0:11
episode in that. I'm actually going to be sharing
0:14
with you a podcast recording that I did on somebody else's
0:18
podcast. So, I was interviewed by the
0:21
lovely Emily Rose Hardy from the worthy mother podcast.
0:25
And I so enjoyed my interview with her, I felt like I really
0:28
opened up in a very vulnerable way.
0:30
A that perhaps I don't typically do on this show are don't have
0:34
as much of the opportunity to do on this show.
0:36
And so I asked her and she very kindly agreed to let me take the
0:40
recording and put it here on my platform.
0:42
For all of you to listen, the worthy mother podcast is where
0:47
Emily and her guests, discuss all things, identity,
0:50
self-compassion and fulfillment within, and Beyond motherhood.
0:53
And it's definitely applicable to any type of caregiver parent,
0:58
you name it. And so, in this, Particular
1:00
episode. When Emily interviewed me, we
1:02
talked all things career, of course.
1:05
So she asked me about my own career change.
1:08
We talked about advice that I have for anybody who's wanting
1:11
to make a career change. What that looks like if you're
1:14
just making a job or a career change, if you're a parent
1:16
versus not and what are some of the differences that I've
1:19
noticed with my career coaching clients?
1:21
We talked about the importance of self-care of how to job
1:24
search and so much more. So, I hope you enjoy this
1:27
episode. Thank you again, Emily for
1:29
having me on Your show and for allowing me to play this year
1:33
for my audience. I'm so excited for you to
1:35
listen. And I hope you enjoy.
1:40
Hey, it's Emily here. Host of the worthy mother
1:42
podcast. Thank you for tuning in and
1:45
being here with me today. This is going to be a really
1:48
helpful episode if you are a mother, who is feeling the need
1:51
for some sort of change in your life.
1:54
So I'm really looking forward to digging right in with our
1:56
guests, we are going to be talking about career changes as
2:00
a mother. And I think that whether you are
2:02
a mother looking to change your career or just to do anything
2:06
else, that feels This episode will be really inspiring and
2:10
insightful. Today we are joined by Andre
2:14
abar, a certified career, coach a podcast host, and most
2:17
importantly, a mom after establishing herself in the
2:21
advertising sector, early in her career, she made a shift to
2:24
Learning and Development within the corporate world as a new
2:27
mother, she was struck by a lack of support.
2:29
For parents, looking to find a balance between a career
2:32
Ambitions and family lives and decided to fill that Gap.
2:36
Andreea offers support and Fans for parents who want to advance
2:39
their careers without compromising what matters most
2:41
their families. So I'm a mother who has had
2:44
quite a few career Transformations within my five
2:47
years of being a mom. And you know I started the
2:50
process to get my teaching credential while I was pregnant
2:53
with my first son. I got my first teaching job when
2:55
he was a baby. I worked towards expanding my
2:58
career by getting my Master's Degree while having my second
3:01
son. And then eventually I
3:03
transitioned out of teaching and to duel entrepreneurship as a
3:06
mother had Coach and an instructional designer.
3:09
So this topic of making career changes in motherhood is just
3:14
really personal to me. And I am so grateful to be able
3:18
to have a conversation about how moms can Embrace these types of
3:23
transitions with someone who is doing this for a living so
3:26
andreya. Thank you so much for being
3:28
here. I'm so excited to have this
3:30
conversation with you. I would love for you to
3:32
introduce yourself and just tell us about who you are and what
3:35
you do all. Thank you so much.
3:37
For having me and I love what you're doing here and providing
3:41
a platform for people like me to come and just share what I've
3:44
learned along the way. And also your story to like, I'm
3:47
excited to learn from you and the cursory that you've gone
3:49
through and it ships. So, thank you so much for having
3:51
me. And yes, hello, everybody.
3:54
I'm so pleased to be here. My name is Andrea bar, I am a
3:57
certified coach, so I went after making this big big scary
4:01
changes in my career, I went to back to school and it was
4:06
actually a lot of fun. I was always Really scared about
4:08
that and went back to school to graduate school and got a
4:11
coaching certificate. And I'm a certified executive
4:13
coach. But I now specialize in career
4:15
coaching specifically for parents.
4:17
Of course, I was inspired by that before becoming a parent
4:20
but of course, most specifically after becoming a mom about two
4:24
years ago. And I have a coaching business
4:26
where I just support parents. Not just, I support parents in
4:29
their career Journeys in making changes in finding that growth
4:33
that they desire. Not everybody wants to shoot for
4:35
the stars. Not everybody wants to make a
4:37
million. Hours but just be fulfilled and
4:40
happy in the career and whatever growth and fulfillment.
4:43
Looks like for you and doing that without having to make
4:46
these wild sacrifices. And doing that, in a way that it
4:49
really aligns with the context of your life, your Partnerships,
4:51
your family, and all that. So so please be here to talk
4:54
about this topic. It's, it's my favorite.
4:56
So I do this for a living, well I love it and I think it's such
5:00
a need to have that kind of specific support and I just I
5:04
love that you're doing that. I love that we get to kind of
5:06
pick your brain. About this topic.
5:08
So, thank you so much for being here.
5:11
So, as I said, like I changed careers after becoming a mother.
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And I'm wondering if this is something that you see often.
5:17
And if so, why do you think that is?
5:20
Hmm. I see a lot of, you know, what's
5:23
interesting is, I would say if I were to make a hypothesis before
5:27
getting into this line of work, I would think that a lot of
5:30
people made really, really, really drastic career changes
5:33
after becoming a mother. And what I've actually noticed
5:35
is that people make shifts. After becoming a parent.
5:39
And so what I mean by that is instead of, you know, saying I'm
5:42
a lawyer and I want to become a teacher or I actually have had
5:45
somebody who was a police officer, who became a teacher.
5:49
Those aren't the everyday stories, I wouldn't say, but
5:51
it's kind of tweaks and it's these big shifts and to answer
5:53
your question about why everything changes.
5:56
I don't have to like, I don't have to, you know, preach that
5:58
to this community here, or to you everything changes for the
6:01
better sometimes for the hard and sometimes the worst and
6:06
things shift, you shift. You just become not that you
6:09
necessarily. I don't personally believe that
6:11
I changed. I think, I just evolved.
6:13
I think I've evolved into the person I was going to be, but
6:15
perhaps Parenthood has just expedited that, so you're kind
6:18
of put into this pressure tank and what it does is it kind of
6:21
forces you to really re-evaluate things not just for yourself,
6:24
but now for other people in your life who depend on you and it's
6:28
not interesting. Like we might I often see that
6:31
people aren't coming to me and saying oh my goodness for the
6:33
first time in my life I'm questioning my career often.
6:36
What it is is I've been Questioning my career for a bit
6:39
and now my misery in this career and my lack of time and all of
6:44
that now affects other people apart from just myself, you
6:48
know, your partner, your children, you just start to look
6:51
at things in a different way. And so I find that just, you
6:53
know, it's just been so fascinating just to see this
6:55
shifts that end up happening and are necessary to happen because
6:59
people actually are valuing their time valuing themselves
7:02
and their happiness more when they become a mother, which I
7:05
think is a beautiful thing. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
7:08
It's like there's so many factors to when we become mom's
7:13
there's a lot of things like it's a time for re-evaluating,
7:16
right? Because we have to our lives
7:18
completely change. And I love that word evolve, we
7:22
evolve our lives and the things that were able to do and you
7:25
know, our time, it all changes and so I think that is a really
7:31
good point that it's it gives you the opportunity to look at
7:35
what's in front of you. What you're lit.
7:36
What? Lived experience is right now
7:39
and say, you know what is this fitting in, or am?
7:42
I ready to do something different?
7:44
So that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
7:47
And it's coming from a more. I'm not a psychologist by any
7:50
means. But it comes from a motorcycle
7:52
like a positive psychology approach where you're not
7:54
looking at. I think a lot of times there's
7:56
this huge narrative around the negative side of parenting, and
7:59
there's a place for that, right? Like, I'm always and I will
8:01
always accept that there. We have to honor and we have to
8:04
respect. And we have to acknowledge the
8:07
The hard times and the hard things.
8:09
However, can we also look at things like career and say, a
8:12
lot of us are extremely fortunate.
8:14
In the fact that we have choice in the matter, we have choice in
8:17
our careers, we have, you know, we're blessed to have careers.
8:20
And so it's kind of coming at it from that positive approach of,
8:22
well, I have an opportunity versus grumbling about like I'm
8:27
about to make a chain, you know, just coming gasps - side.
8:30
Yeah, I mean, I relate to that so much.
8:32
I think becoming a mother and knowing, like, what do I want
8:36
to? Do it.
8:37
What about my kids to grow up to be able to do has really been?
8:42
It's given me the space to really think about what I want
8:44
for myself and so that's I love that that really it really does
8:49
make a lot of sense to me. So what do you think is
8:53
different about changing your career as a parent versus when
8:56
you're not a parent? Everything I have done it, I've
9:04
done both, so I can speak for my my lived experience as well as
9:07
you know, the experience of clients that I work with that,
9:09
for my own experience. I changed careers from
9:12
advertising into Learning and Development.
9:15
So, HR, so I know something that, you know, a lot about and
9:18
I did that in a really wild way. I don't know how else to put it.
9:22
I have an episode on it actually, and I can send you the
9:25
link if you want to put it in the show notes, but it's
9:28
basically, My story of quitting, my advertising job doing my yoga
9:32
teacher training, just like throwing my hands up in the air
9:35
being like, I can do anything I want, and it was like that.
9:39
And then my next career change was a little more mellow if you
9:43
will. Because I was a mum, I really
9:45
knew Mom went back to work after Matt leave.
9:48
And, again, I knew something wasn't quite right.
9:53
Even going into mat leave. And you that there was no longer
9:55
alignment values, boys, with the company, I was working at in the
9:58
what I was doing. That sort of thing.
10:00
There was nothing out of left field but I went back after Matt
10:02
leave and I was like, this is not working and I tell the story
10:06
in this episode where you know, my husband looked at me, he's
10:08
like you seem miserable and I was like, I am miserable and so
10:13
I made that that career change in a different way.
10:16
I had to, we really had to sit down and we really had to think
10:19
about things versus I was with my husband.
10:21
Before we were dating at that point but we knew we'd be
10:23
getting married soon and it was kind of like this is what I'm
10:26
doing in my husband was like yeah, go for it.
10:28
There was no conversation. I called my mom crying.
10:30
And I was like, I'm gonna do this and she's like, go for it
10:33
versus becoming a parent and leaving my corporate job to move
10:37
into entrepreneurship, which is a massive leap.
10:39
It required conversations, it required chatting with our
10:43
financial planner, it required sitting down with my husband and
10:47
like, mapping things out. It required like just a lot of
10:51
thinking and a lot and a lot and not a lot had changed between
10:55
those two phases of Life apart from the fact that we had a
10:57
little human and Had more responsibility, a mortgage, you
11:01
know, like we wanted to create stability in our life.
11:04
We didn't want to be like, living in a van or whatever I
11:06
could, you know, we had to. Yeah, you really had a lot more
11:09
to think about. So my perspective, there's just,
11:11
there's just so much more thought that goes into it and
11:13
it's just a theme that I continue to see with clients
11:15
that I work with as well. It's, you know, there's more
11:17
riding on this. And in addition to that there's
11:20
a tension I would say kind of like a rubber band where you now
11:24
have to decide like what's your tolerance for Or you know,
11:30
making changes and taking risks for yourself to create more
11:34
happiness and fulfillment, within yourself.
11:35
Because we know it's important to take care of yourself first,
11:38
in addition to your dependents but then also, what we're do,
11:42
you need to kind of scale back. Or where do you really need to
11:44
like ground yourself a bit more because there's people that rely
11:47
on you? Yeah.
11:49
Like the risks are different. The all of that shifts a little
11:53
bit because you, you have, yeah, it's a responsibilities are very
11:58
different. So that makes a ton of sense.
12:01
How do you help people? Really create the vision and
12:04
find Clarity with their career goals when they have kind of,
12:09
all these factors in place that they really need to consider?
12:13
I would say we don't start, we don't start there so we don't
12:16
start with the context because I find that if you know anybody
12:19
listening or yourself, you can think about those times, where
12:21
you kind of in a challenging situation, you're at a
12:23
Crossroads, you get stuck in this like Vortex of
12:27
consideration and contemplation, where you're like, what am I
12:32
doing? What am I doing?
12:33
How do I do next? What am I doing?
12:34
And it's not, and it's not helpful, right?
12:36
It's you get stuck in your mind. You are at a dinner party, with
12:39
friends, or having lots of fun with girlfriends and you're
12:41
saying the same thing over and over.
12:43
Each time you see your friends or you're talking to your
12:45
partner, but the same thing every time it's like, I always
12:48
just consider it. I just picture it literally like
12:50
a Vortex and so what I do is, I help people come back to without
12:55
sounding too, we will, but they come back to themselves.
12:57
Like, we just some really fun exercises to be like, okay, take
13:00
the context out of the situation for a second and who are you at
13:04
your core? Like, ask questions, like what
13:06
did you love to do as a child but are some of the hobbies and
13:09
interests you have what do you Google?
13:11
That is literally my favorite question.
13:12
Its So interesting, look at your browser history.
13:16
Well what do you Google when it's like you've got some down
13:19
time and you just keep feeling curious about something like
13:21
what are you researching? I mean, for a lot of parents
13:23
especially maybe like, the newborn date is, it's like once
13:25
the best sleep schedule or like diaper rash solution, you know,
13:28
all that stuff. But apart from there's two
13:30
things like but he really fascinated about and I have a
13:34
workbook that I can, I'm happy to give to your audience as
13:36
well. That's asked all those questions
13:39
and it's really fun. You can kind of sit down to cup
13:40
of coffee and just go through these questions to get back to
13:42
yourself. Without the context of other
13:44
people, of course, other people can be considered.
13:46
So if one of the things that you love to do is spend time with
13:49
your family, or I was just with a client yesterday and she was
13:52
like, I love going on. Adventures outside the home with
13:55
my children. I was like, that's a great one
13:58
and she was so specific about it.
13:59
She wasn't like oh I love spending time with my family.
14:01
She's like, no, no wait, I love getting out.
14:02
And just like, seeing new things with my kids, I was like, cool.
14:05
And there's so much in that, when you could have asked these
14:07
types of questions, you can start to see the through lines.
14:11
When it's like, it's kind of like, you know, fat in soup
14:14
rising to the top where you're like, oh wow.
14:15
There's some like really big Lobby themes that we can really
14:18
pick out here. Like Adventure seems to be
14:20
really important, and this seems to be really important.
14:22
And even though we've taken the context of your current
14:24
situation out of the equation, what ends up being left, is your
14:28
values and those values, I almost guarantee will be
14:32
consistent with where you're at in your life right now in the
14:34
context of your family. And so when you then go to kind
14:37
of build your foundation, in the building blocks, on top of that
14:40
to build this facility, Come here or rebuild it or whatever
14:42
it is, then you can take those values and you can take what you
14:44
love and that's where you start from.
14:48
And it's not to say that they're in at odds with each other.
14:51
It's actually it's who you are at your core and it's building
14:55
from there and incorporating the context around it, it makes
14:58
sense. And that's yeah, long-winded way
15:01
of how do you do that? But it's fun of and I love them.
15:05
I love helping people through that.
15:07
That's really interesting because I do think that for most
15:10
of us when we go out it on our own, it can feel like a what do
15:15
I have to make sure that I'm doing for my family which often
15:19
times, is it very helpful because we end up in that same
15:21
pattern of shoulds that probably or that may have gotten us into
15:25
our position in the first place, right?
15:28
Like, feeling like there's something we have to be doing
15:30
and then not feeling satisfied with it, which I know isn't
15:33
necessarily always the story, something's just changed but a
15:35
lot of times I know for me that was Was kind of where I got
15:38
where I was was just I didn't really, I never had the bigger
15:42
Vision. I never really considered the
15:45
more possibilities and so, yeah. Instead of re-evaluating from
15:49
that same process of K, what do I need to make sure I'm doing
15:54
starting on the other end and figuring out what you want and
15:58
what is really aligned and then how does that fit into the
16:01
picture? That's not really cool.
16:03
And that seems like, it makes sense, and I don't think that's
16:07
I imagine that's not where people naturally go.
16:10
No, no, of course not. We as humans start from a place
16:14
of scarcity because from an evolutionary perspective, we had
16:17
to make sure we had food like, you were just constantly living
16:21
in the moment living in fight or flight.
16:22
Right. And I know we always talk about
16:24
like the cavemen people but it's interesting to just reflect on
16:26
that like that's just where our brain goes.
16:28
Our brain has not evolved that quickly.
16:30
And so of course and people are like, oh, you know, we beat
16:33
ourselves up over that. It's okay, it's just what we do.
16:36
It's our, it's our brain, just trying to protect us and that's
16:39
okay. So You know, sometimes it just
16:41
takes like, hearing something like this are getting permission
16:43
from a stranger like me to be like, no, it's okay, just
16:45
hitting pause. This could be a five-minute
16:47
thing. Like, you could literally a
16:48
person right now could just be driving this down on their phone
16:50
while they're walking their kid in the stroller.
16:54
Just asking the question, like, what do you love to do?
16:56
What do you really value? And starting from there, it
16:59
doesn't have to be this big grandiose thing.
17:03
I love that. Just really it's, it's learning
17:06
about yourself and getting getting in tune with yourself,
17:09
which was so much of what I talked about, you know, and we
17:13
can apply that to so many things, including what we decide
17:16
to do to make a living, which is, it's cool to think about how
17:20
it all connects. Yeah.
17:22
Absolutely. So, is there anything in
17:24
particular that parents should keep in mind during the job
17:27
search process? When they're, you know, maybe
17:30
they have kind of those aligned idea.
17:33
What they want to do, but then taking that next step.
17:35
What does that look like? Hmm, degree question, I actually
17:39
have a podcast episode that I just recorded.
17:41
So, it'll be coming out in a couple weeks and I'm not sure
17:44
when this one's coming out. So maybe they'll maybe they'll
17:46
line but it's with a colleague of mine in the coaching space
17:50
Anna and she is a former recruiter from a Fortune 500
17:53
like massive British Bank. Anyways she actually said
17:56
something that is one of my favorite tips as well and it is
18:00
in this you know, to answer this particular question.
18:03
Question, what do we think about when we are kind of getting
18:05
close and you're like, okay, I'm about to start the job.
18:08
Searching process, don't start with applications.
18:12
Hmm, that's the best advice. Most practical tangible advice,
18:14
I could give where you start is. Just making sure don't start
18:19
with the application in the searching process and putting in
18:23
your Google filters and all that stuff and then working it back
18:26
and be like, okay now I need to think about how to position
18:28
myself. I should create a resume or
18:30
cover letter. Do it just a little bit of up
18:32
front. Work first, you think you're
18:34
clear get even more clear, get like super, super clear and
18:37
granular granular about what it is that you want to do and how
18:42
you're going to approach that from, like, a personal brand
18:44
perspective, and it will save you so much time in the end.
18:49
So I have an example. If you have clients who often
18:51
come to me, God love them. And they're like, okay here's my
18:53
goal. I've got it, I've got it figured
18:55
out. I just want to know passes by
18:56
you. I'm gonna apply for ten jobs a
18:58
week for the next four weeks. For sure.
19:00
I'm going to land a job. That's 40 applications.
19:02
And I'm like, Like that is a huge waste of your time.
19:05
You might land a job. But is it the right job and
19:08
really considered the parameters in, which you will take the job?
19:10
Like, are you in applying for jobs that if they were to give
19:12
it to you tomorrow? You would say yes like why I
19:15
didn't think about that. So it's it's just take a step
19:18
back. So you know that first step
19:19
would be just be get, really, really clear on the type of job.
19:21
You want something to do with every single, one of my clients
19:25
is having them get really clear on their parameters.
19:29
So, the parameters being deep, what's the type of job that
19:32
you're looking For, what are your non-negotiables?
19:34
So, for a lot of people these days, it's remote, work are
19:37
flexible, work and things like that.
19:39
And that way, when you go to the job searching process, and
19:41
you're actually starting to do your Google research and go on
19:44
LinkedIn and all that, you know, which jobs that you can just
19:47
negate right off the bat and how good does that feel?
19:49
It's kind of like dating job searching so similar to dating
19:51
if we all remember those days or maybe you're in it right now
19:55
and, you know, you wouldn't just be throwing stuff at the wall,
19:59
and just seeing what sticks when you're getting know.
20:00
You've got a few parameters, you've got a few as abuse.
20:03
Should you should have a few guiding guiding principles for
20:06
yourself. You know, what's your ideal
20:08
person like to go out with someone?
20:10
Those are definitely be like the if there's one takeaway in that
20:12
regard, it's just take a step back before applying That is
20:17
really helpful advice that I think that Again Naturally
20:22
that's probably not where people go.
20:23
And so I think that's really helpful to consider.
20:27
So I would really love to hear more about your own story.
20:30
I know that you have changed careers both before becoming a
20:34
mom. And then after and I would love
20:36
to know like for you personally. What was that, like what were
20:42
those experiences like transitioning careers?
20:44
And then, how did you bring that to this place of supporting
20:48
others and doing that same process?
20:51
I found it challenging and I'm somebody who is a risk tolerant
20:59
I would say. So I'm okay with risk and I
21:02
actually am very change tolerant in that I literally like change.
21:05
You know, if you look at any personal I've done a million
21:07
personality assessments, I'm trained in different cycle.
21:10
Metric assessments and things like that and every single time
21:12
it's like, yeah, you're willing to shake it up, you're okay with
21:14
the flexibility. Etc.
21:17
And so I was thinking about that as I was going through.
21:18
That change from advertising into Learning and Development,
21:21
going back to school, becoming a coach, then going from being an
21:25
internal resource in learning development, and a coach to
21:29
entrepreneurship. And those are processes that I
21:31
found challenging and I'm somebody who is very risk
21:34
tolerant and very change tolerant.
21:36
So, when I took that step back, I was like, oh my gosh.
21:40
No, I would kind of unusual in that.
21:41
I'm not saying that I'm like special.
21:42
It's just it's kind of unusual people, naturally fear change,
21:45
and we don't like change for whatever reason I like it.
21:49
And so I was like, whoa. This is, you know, II found this
21:52
challenging, like what about the majority of the population or
21:55
the people who? Like, I also know, I was in a
21:57
privileged position and I will call that out in that I knew I
22:00
wasn't going to fall on my face and I was taking calculated
22:03
risks that I knew like a heads, maybe Family Support.
22:06
Like, I could go live with my mom and my stepdad or whatever,
22:10
And so, I was like, well, again, coming from that place of other
22:13
people who are in these, like, you know, miserable positions,
22:16
how do they get out of that? Like how did they get out of
22:18
those trapped relationships with her career that they hate?
22:22
And so that's really where that huge inspiration came from
22:25
because I found it challenging so that transition from
22:27
advertising to learning development coaching.
22:32
It wasn't, it wasn't challenging that I was like depressed or
22:34
anything like that. It just took a long time.
22:37
If I'm being honest, it took a while, it took about a year.
22:40
Or so to like really figure it out.
22:42
And so that's what that point where I started to be like,
22:45
okay, there's something here like this took a bit too long
22:48
for my comfort, not to say that you can like, you know, you land
22:51
a job in like two weeks or four weeks.
22:52
We work with me or anything like that.
22:53
So I'm gonna if it might happen but it probably won't happen
22:56
that way. However it would have been cool
22:58
if I got a little bit more of that Clarity a bit sooner.
23:01
I didn't really know anything about coaching and didn't know
23:03
the power and the psychology behind having a thought partner
23:06
to support that process. And then finally, once I do
23:09
Covered that world. I was like, oh wow, this is
23:12
really cool. And yeah, I'm moving to
23:14
entrepreneurship. I had learned so much so moving
23:17
from advertising into Learning and Development was my first big
23:21
career change, then moving from Learning and Development into
23:24
being an entrepreneur. I have learned a few things that
23:26
was still challenging, but I knew that I could lean on the
23:30
power of coaching and support community and things like that.
23:32
So I joined a business group, so I'm part of it.
23:35
This is Dave's Collective and it's a mastermind and it's
23:37
wonderful and they hold me accountable to meet bi-weekly
23:39
and And I have a coach ever coach to have a coach.
23:41
So I have a coach of course. And so those are kind of some of
23:45
the things that I learned and really created that inspiration
23:48
for my business in the work that I do now.
23:51
I love that. And I think that it comes from
23:53
such a place of like helping others in this process and
23:58
that's so powerful and I love that reflection of how like
24:02
you're okay, taking risks and it was still scary and how I think
24:06
that's really validating for anyone who feels kind of stuck
24:09
or like you're not sure how to move forward out of a situation
24:12
that it is risky and for most of us and really all of us that is
24:18
a huge factor and it can feel really scary but know that
24:22
there's their support to help you work through that and really
24:26
evaluate the risk a my way that's actually productive and
24:29
not paralyzing. Yes.
24:31
Absolutely. And that's that goes to show the
24:34
power of people who are experts in their field.
24:36
So and myself aside our coaches aside for somebody listening to
24:41
could be going to seek some legal support, go and get some
24:44
free legal counsel because you're in a really funky
24:46
situation at work where you feel like your rights are being
24:48
infringed, going to get And financial support, if you're in
24:52
debt, and finding some people who can really help you to get
24:54
out of that place or to plan for your future and things like
24:58
that. Like, these are all kind of the
24:59
building blocks that we can put in place to help kind of move
25:02
forward. And I think we forget, we're
25:03
such an independent. We're all very independent.
25:05
I have a feeling there's a lot of Independent Women parents
25:08
listening on the podcast right now, I'm raising my hand like a
25:12
thousand percent. I want to do things on my own, I
25:14
want to figure them out on my own, but it's humbling once you
25:18
say, you know what, kind of like raising children, it takes a
25:20
village. Age.
25:21
And you can just move along your path and find greater success
25:26
when you do lean on the support of others.
25:30
I love it. I love it.
25:31
That is such a huge piece of everything is asking for help
25:35
knowing that we cannot do it alone.
25:37
We cannot do any of this alone. And so expecting ourselves to be
25:42
able to just overcome every little thing we hit on our own
25:46
is unfair to ourselves and I love that reminder that no
25:49
matter what challenges you're facing, no matter what change it
25:52
is you're wanting to make there is support out there.
25:56
It may just take some creativity and figuring out what the
25:59
support is. It's there.
26:02
Yes, definitely. So one thing that I absolutely
26:05
love asking the moms who come on the worthy mother podcast is,
26:09
how do you take care of yourself?
26:11
And do you have any tips for moms just to make sure that they
26:14
are caring for themselves? Yes.
26:19
Actually, I do friends. We're at a friends on the
26:21
weekend for dinner, and I was chatting with my girlfriend.
26:23
We love to her, and she's one of those friends of mine, who we
26:26
chat about career things, and, like things, like, we just kind
26:27
of we go deep, and we just get in there.
26:29
And they were chatting about motherhood and she's got three
26:31
kids one, who was his four months old.
26:35
And we were joking about self-care and she's like, oh
26:38
yeah, I finally just gotten good at it.
26:40
And I was like, oh girl, I have always been good at it because I
26:44
truly I just, I don't even think of it as an afterthought, I
26:49
think of it as Like breathing, like taking care of myself, as
26:53
so important. I think I get a bit of that from
26:57
this is such a funny, weird thing to say, I've never really
27:00
reflected on this, but I had a back brace when I was younger
27:02
and I had scoliosis and kyphosis.
27:04
So I had to wear a back. Brace section starts to get
27:06
really in tune with my body and I started to go to things like
27:08
Pilates and I was like, okay, I really don't want to have a
27:11
super Hunchback by the time I'm 30 or whatever.
27:14
And so I started to realize, like, oh wow, taking care of
27:17
yourself like prevention. All these things can make you
27:20
feel really good and they Can be really helpful down the line and
27:22
I think that's kind of started the path for me.
27:24
So I just don't even think of it as this like afterthought or
27:28
this bonus. I think of it as my maintenance,
27:31
my oil change like you're not driving your car around with oil
27:34
and Sure, I can preach that till the cows come home.
27:38
However, your question was also like, how do you do that?
27:41
And for me personally, it's scheduling.
27:43
So I if I'm thinking about something, I will take the time
27:48
to just book it or do it or or schedule it.
27:51
So, you know, if you can't do it in the moment thinking about
27:55
like what it is that you want to do and then what's the realistic
27:57
time frame in, which you can do it, and booking things in
28:00
advance, one of the things that I've started to adopt is
28:03
actually kind of batching. So I really like batch timing
28:05
for myself for productivity. Petit so batching like tasks.
28:08
So I was like, wait, why don't I do this with self-care instead
28:11
of having, you know, miscellaneous appointments?
28:13
I don't know. Is it a woman thing that like a
28:14
woman thing that we have so many more appointments than men?
28:17
I don't know. It must be because it's true.
28:21
So, so many appointments, I'm also in my third trimester
28:25
pregnancy. So I'm also pregnant I should I
28:27
could, you know, bring that up as part of my Bible but some of
28:31
the appointments that I have to go to the doctor bi-weekly.
28:33
And anyway, so I was like, my God, there's The appointments I
28:37
love the appointments but it's just like, you know, all the
28:39
driving and yeah feels kind of unproductive.
28:41
Sometimes I was like, wait a minute, what could I batch?
28:44
And so I've started to actually book in book it in the calendar
28:47
where I have like days. That looks so funny.
28:49
Where it's like acupuncture osteopath.
28:52
Naturopath like, those are like other big days, but then when I
28:56
look at the rest of the month I'm like, wow that's actually
28:57
alleviating that driving time the thinking time the booking
29:01
time and just putting it all in one day.
29:03
So actually just did that the other day.
29:05
I just started to book out it Look, two months ahead actually
29:07
booked some of those appointments.
29:08
So, that's just like, you know, one piece, it would be
29:09
appointments, but the same thing could be said about working out,
29:13
having lunch going on a walk meditating, those types of
29:17
things you can, I find booking things can be really helpful for
29:20
me and maybe for anyone else that's listening to.
29:24
Okay, you are onto something there because I know for me, I
29:27
like next week, I have two appointments on two different
29:30
days. They're like back-to-back days
29:32
and like, okay, this is eating into any productivity I'm going
29:35
to have Those days even if I'm you know smart about it and
29:39
schedule the rest of my day around it, it's just you get you
29:42
know you have an early morning appointment it kind of throws
29:44
your day off, you have an appointment in the afternoon,
29:46
you have to stop what you're doing and go do that.
29:49
This makes so much sense that if you just kind of batch things
29:52
together, and you're already out and about, you're already not
29:55
doing those other productive things with your work or with
29:58
you know the kids whatever it is, that makes so much sense
30:01
tonight. I'm definitely going to take
30:04
that and use it. Because I think that is
30:07
brilliant and I love that idea to of the scheduling ahead.
30:10
So when you feel the need for something, you may not be able
30:14
to do it right then and there but knowing that hey I can I
30:17
have control over my time and so yes maybe it's not going to
30:20
happen right now but I can schedule that in whether it's an
30:24
appointment for some sort of self-care or going to the gym,
30:27
or whatever, it might be asking for help.
30:29
For some alone time, you can deal with it in the moment, even
30:33
if it's for a payoff later, down the road.
30:36
Yes, absolutely. And it really reduces that
30:38
mental load, like I know we talked a lot in motherhood.
30:40
We talked a lot about the mental load, the invisible boat, things
30:43
like that for me. I was actually putting all this
30:46
pressure and there was just a lot of mental chaos and to-do
30:50
list items of, oh, I'd love to go back to acupuncture.
30:52
That was a great session. I would like to have a massage
30:55
next month or whatever. It's all these like little to do
30:57
that. You actually don't write down
30:58
because they're not they don't feel pertinent or something that
31:02
you have to do, right then and there but all those Things add
31:06
up, right. It's like if you're not writing
31:08
down your grocery list, all you have is just like fruits and
31:10
vegetables, like swirling around your head and it's just it's so
31:12
chaotic, and so it's if you can just, you know, put it like just
31:15
give it a day, put it in the future, it's exciting.
31:19
One other, like, super granular. Hot tip would be to look at when
31:23
you're booking a day like that. Look at the appointment.
31:26
That's the least flexible or has the least amount of availability
31:28
and start there. So for me, it's my OB so my
31:31
obstetrician, you know, they just give me a time and I have
31:33
to go kind of at that time, you know how about Actually
31:36
specialist appointment things like that and so I always start
31:39
there so I'm like okay great. And then my acupuncturist is
31:41
right down the street and I've just gotten into acupuncture,
31:44
it's been really helping in my pregnancy and my perfect.
31:47
When I go to the ob, I will go to acupuncture at the cuz it's
31:50
down the street and she actually has a lot of flexible time so
31:53
you can kind of gamify it like that too.
31:55
In case anybody who's starting out I love it.
31:59
Okay, andreea, thank you so much.
32:01
I am wondering if you can tell us where listeners can find you,
32:05
and what they can keep an eye out for.
32:07
I know there's some things will definitely be linking in the
32:09
show notes but just kind of a rundown of where we can find
32:13
you. Yes, definitely.
32:14
So I hang out on my podcast which is called all figured out.
32:18
I don't think I mentioned that yet and it is just a couple
32:21
months old, but have been having a lot of fun, interviewing some
32:24
awesome experts. It's the kind of a cheeky title
32:26
because not, none of us. Have it all figured out it.
32:29
So I share a few things I have figured out and then have
32:31
experts on to help to share, you know, their expertise and help
32:36
Grab everything else and so you can find me there wherever you
32:40
get your podcasts. And I'm on Instagram at andreea
32:43
bar coaching, and you can find me on Andre bar.com, which is
32:46
pretty easy. So, shoot me an email.
32:47
I love to just connect with new people like you.
32:50
And I met on a Facebook group for podcasters, which is so fun,
32:53
the internet. Such a cool place right now.
32:55
So I would love to connect with anybody who wants to learn more
32:58
really is. Thank you so much.
33:00
I really appreciate you being here with us and empowering us
33:04
all to just take those steps towards It's the life that we
33:07
really want to live. You are doing really important
33:10
work, supporting moms and parents.
33:13
That I really just really appreciate you sharing your
33:15
expertise and your experiences with us today.
33:18
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for listening.
33:21
You can access all resources mentioned in this episode via my
33:24
website andreea bar.com, / podcast and let's chat on
33:28
Instagram. I'm at andreea bar coaching and
33:30
I reply that every DM. I get if you loved this episode,
33:34
don't forget to quickly hit that button.
33:36
On your podcast app to give me a five star rating and drop in and
33:39
review. It would truly mean the world
33:42
and if you're like me and love to share things that you love,
33:45
send this episode to a friend who you think would appreciate
33:48
this topic. Thanks again for listening, and
33:50
I'll chat with you next week.