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Transcript

Mark's 10am Monologue. · The Mark Simone Show

0:01
Speaker 1: Now on the Voice of New York. Kate's The Mark
0:04
Speaker 1: Simone Show on sevent ten. Wor Well, it's Monday, and
0:15
Speaker 1: we got a lot to get to today. We'll get
0:17
Speaker 1: to that No King's crazy No King stuff. We get
0:21
Speaker 1: to President Trump and Iran. Things looking good in Iran.
0:23
Speaker 1: We'll get to the ballroom controversy of President Trump's new ballroom.
0:28
Speaker 1: We'll get to JFK. Junior. We'll get to Tiger Woods
0:31
Speaker 1: sad sad story, and we'll get to that stupid Inner
0:37
Speaker 1: Circle thing that is We've got to be one of
0:38
Speaker 1: the worst dinners ever put on. We'll get to that
0:41
Speaker 1: coming up. So, yeah, the No Kings, it's very important.
0:46
Speaker 1: The snow Kings, what do you call it a march
0:49
Speaker 1: or rally? The snow King stuff is really really important
0:53
Speaker 1: because it's like a therapy session for these Trump derangements
0:57
Speaker 1: syndrome people. They're all just going nuts with hatred and
1:01
Speaker 1: rage and just the nuts about Trump. So they need
1:04
Speaker 1: an outlet, so they get out in the street. They
1:07
Speaker 1: got signs, they got costumes. You look at it looks
1:09
Speaker 1: like Halloween at the Senior Center. They're all it's a
1:13
Speaker 1: mixture of the old senior citizens, the angry old senior citizens.
1:17
Speaker 1: The blue haired nosering crowd is out there and they're
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Speaker 1: all marching and just screaming and yell. It looks like
1:24
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve at the nuthouse. And it's good for them,
1:27
Speaker 1: gives them something to do. And they all go home
1:30
Speaker 1: and watch themselves on the news and then they watch
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Speaker 1: Trevor Noah and MS Now and all that, and they're
1:37
Speaker 1: protesting no kings, and it was a very successful march.
1:41
Speaker 1: You look around, there's no kings. Obviously they did the trick. Actually,
1:46
Speaker 1: the last time we had a king, we did have
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Speaker 1: a king in America, it was seventeen seventy five. It
1:52
Speaker 1: was King George the Third. So I guess they're protesting him,
1:57
Speaker 1: which I guess is good. But you're two hundred and
1:59
Speaker 1: fifty one years too late. It's really just I mean,
2:06
Speaker 1: a lot of these Trump haters trump derangement syndrome people.
2:10
Speaker 1: Many of them are very smart people. They're attorneys, they're professors,
2:16
Speaker 1: but they're just childish. They're just crazy and childish when
2:19
Speaker 1: it comes to Trump. Nobody worse than Robert de Niro.
2:25
Speaker 1: It's tough to watch. I can separate in my head,
2:28
Speaker 1: but it's tough to watch a DeNiro movie now, because
2:31
Speaker 1: you see the tough guy and Goodfellows, the tough guy
2:34
Speaker 1: in Casino, then you watch him in real life. He's
2:37
Speaker 1: a crying, weak, little, just ridiculous figure. So he was
2:44
Speaker 1: at the rally, he was trying to speak, could barely
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Speaker 1: get the words out, and it was strange he was
2:51
Speaker 1: reading it off a script. Guy's a professional actor. You'd
2:55
Speaker 1: think he'd be able to actually just memorize that it
2:59
Speaker 1: was a couple of cents. But he was fumbling and mumbling.
3:02
Speaker 1: And you gotta remember, as we always point out, it
3:05
Speaker 1: was Truman Capoti that first pointed this out. The greatest actors,
3:09
Speaker 1: I'm not telling a good actor. I'm talking with the
3:10
Speaker 1: most brilliant actors were always stupid in real life. There
3:15
Speaker 1: were always very dumb people. Now I don't know why
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Speaker 1: that is. I'm not a psychologist. I can't explain it.
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Speaker 1: But the Capoti always went through the whole list, from
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Speaker 1: Marlon Brando to all the great actors were incredibly dumb.
3:28
Speaker 1: So there must be something to it. It must help
3:31
Speaker 1: them just be a better actor, to be dumb, to
3:34
Speaker 1: be able to transform themselves into somebody else. So the
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Speaker 1: no kings. Yelling and screaming went on all weekend. It
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Speaker 1: got a lot of coverage. It had three billion dollars
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Speaker 1: behind it. It was financed with three billion dollars money
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Speaker 1: from Soros, money from Roy Singman and those soda guys.
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Speaker 1: It was five hundred organizations behind it. That three billion
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Speaker 1: dollars was funneled into those five hundred different organizations, all
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Speaker 1: in different areas to get this whole thing going. But
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Speaker 1: it's like a club. It's like, it's not just the march.
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Speaker 1: It's a social life for a lot of these lunatics.
4:14
Speaker 1: You know, like if you go to a Mets game,
4:16
Speaker 1: a lot of the people are real baseball fanatics. They're
4:18
Speaker 1: studying the game. But a lot of the people, and
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Speaker 1: this is fine, they're up in the bleachers there wherever.
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Speaker 1: They're there for the camaraderie, the beer, They having fun
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Speaker 1: meeting people. It's a party for them, which is fine.
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Speaker 1: It's like a baseball party. So this is like a
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Speaker 1: Trump arrangement syndrome party. So for many of these people,
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Speaker 1: it's a party. Now, when it comes to the idea
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Speaker 1: of a no King's Day, well, we've already had a
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Speaker 1: No King's Day for years it's called the fourth of July.
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Speaker 1: That's what that was. It was a No King's Day.
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Speaker 1: It was Independence Day to celebrate getting rid of the king.
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Speaker 1: So we've always had a No King's Day. But as
4:53
Speaker 1: I always point out to you, liberals hate the fourth
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Speaker 1: of July American flags and fireworks and they don't like
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Speaker 1: that stuff, so they like their own No Kings Day.
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Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what king they're protesting, but and
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Speaker 1: a lot of people say, well, yeah, a lot of
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Speaker 1: them are the young, pink haired nos ring crowd. Well
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Speaker 1: what all these senior citizens. There's so many senior citizens.
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Speaker 1: Those are the elderly hippies of the late nineteen sixties.
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Speaker 1: They're all there. These are the nineteen sixties Woodstock, Hayte
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Speaker 1: Ashbury hippies in their golden years out there on the
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Speaker 1: street screaming. Now, if you're really against no Kings, if
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Speaker 1: you had a serious principle here that do no kings,
5:36
Speaker 1: if that's really what you're about, well then what you
5:41
Speaker 1: should be fighting for is term limits. That's where you
5:43
Speaker 1: get your kings. You know, if you're president, you've only
5:45
Speaker 1: got a four year term. Maybe you could get re elected.
5:48
Speaker 1: But Trump's only been in office five years. You got
5:50
Speaker 1: Chuck Schumer, he's been there forty nine years. You got
5:53
Speaker 1: Pelosi forty seven years, you got Mitch McConnell one hundred
5:57
Speaker 1: and fifty years, you got all. That's where you get
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Speaker 1: your kings, permanent, permanent government people. So if you're really
6:04
Speaker 1: for no kings, you gotta fight for term limits. And
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Speaker 1: President Trump should bring it up. That should be his
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Speaker 1: no kings moving term limits on everybody. If you're in
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Speaker 1: the Senate two terms, if you're in the House, two terms.
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Speaker 1: Although house is short, two years, maybe four terms in
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Speaker 1: the House, but you gotta have term limits. That's the
6:23
Speaker 1: way you get rid of kings. Hey, the tiger Wood
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Speaker 1: situation was so tragic. Now, nobody's been in more car crashers.
6:32
Speaker 1: If you had a contest, well, I think Billy Joel
6:34
Speaker 1: might win. How many crashes has he been in? But
6:36
Speaker 1: that's probably drinking. In the tiger Woods case, it's not alcohol.
6:41
Speaker 1: It's not alcohol, it's drugs. It's medication. Now, the first
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Speaker 1: crash was what year was that? It was two thousand
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Speaker 1: and nine. I remember I was filling in for Sean Hannity.
6:54
Speaker 1: It was three to five. The show was about to
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Speaker 1: start We're just about to go in the year. All
6:58
Speaker 1: of a sudden, the bulletin come in the breaking news
7:01
Speaker 1: Tiger Woods has been involved in a car accident. And
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Speaker 1: we're about to go on the air with this, and
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Speaker 1: they're getting me the details, and it says he was
7:09
Speaker 1: in his driveway and he was coming out. He hit
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Speaker 1: a tree on one side and he hit a fire
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Speaker 1: hydrant on the other side. So I knew right away
7:19
Speaker 1: that he was being chased. You know, when you come
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Speaker 1: out of your driveway, you're going very slow. You couldn't
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Speaker 1: hit someone on this side then hit someone that said
7:26
Speaker 1: you're going too slow. So obviously he was being chased
7:30
Speaker 1: because he must have been backing out of his driveway
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Speaker 1: like at fifty miles an hour to hit one thing,
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Speaker 1: bounce off and hit another thing. And sure enough, it
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Speaker 1: turned out it was his wife chasing him with a
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Speaker 1: golf club, trying to kill him because she found his
7:42
Speaker 1: phone and the raunchy conversations with other women. Now many
7:47
Speaker 1: celebrities do this, but all these celebrities that do this,
7:54
Speaker 1: I'll save this for when I write a book or something.
7:56
Speaker 1: I don't know want to go to know all these stories,
7:58
Speaker 1: but all these celebrities do this. But they got another
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Speaker 1: phone that the wife doesn't know about, and they got
8:04
Speaker 1: a guy usually who takes care of all these arrangements,
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Speaker 1: making the dates and all that, and it's done through
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Speaker 1: his phone. So even if the wife got the husband's
8:12
Speaker 1: regular phone, he wouldn't see a thing and she wouldn't
8:14
Speaker 1: see anything in there. But Tiger was naively one phone,
8:17
Speaker 1: and he tries to do it all in that phone,
8:19
Speaker 1: and he goes to the take a shower, and he's
8:21
Speaker 1: not in the shower, and the wife gets his phone
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Speaker 1: and sees all this stuff. Two thousand and nine. Next
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Speaker 1: crash twenty seventeen, Remember the car went off the road,
8:30
Speaker 1: went down a cliff or something. That was medication, you know,
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Speaker 1: in his defense, he's in tremendous pain from these injuries,
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Speaker 1: all kinds of injuries, so he's on all kinds of
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Speaker 1: that serious, heavy duty addictive pain medication. Then there was
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Speaker 1: the twenty twenty one crash, and then there was this week.
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Speaker 1: So that's the fourth crash that we know about, fourth
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Speaker 1: serious crash. Now, Tiger is also known for being He's
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Speaker 1: notorious for speeding through his neighborhood. He's always speeding through
9:01
Speaker 1: the neighborhood at ninety miles an hour. It's a quiet
9:03
Speaker 1: little neighborhood Jupiter Island in Florida. But he's always speeding
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Speaker 1: like a maniac, go on in and out of traffic,
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Speaker 1: weaving in and out of cars. Well, he tried it
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Speaker 1: with a truck. He didn't realize the truck was towing
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Speaker 1: a little trailer. He clipped that and his land Rover
9:18
Speaker 1: flipped over. Police show up. Now he's been through this enough.
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Speaker 1: He took a breathalyzer at the scene. They could see
9:27
Speaker 1: that he was impaired. They thought he was drunk or something.
9:29
Speaker 1: They gave him a breathalyzer and he blew a triple zero.
9:33
Speaker 1: That means no alcohol in his system. None zero. Then
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Speaker 1: they asked him about a blood tester or a urine test,
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Speaker 1: and he refused because he's been through this enough times.
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Speaker 1: He knows it's not alcohol, it's medication. It will show
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Speaker 1: up in the urine test, it will show up in
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Speaker 1: the blood test, so he refuses. Now, by refusing those tests,
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Speaker 1: that's a crime right there. So he's going to get
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Speaker 1: arrested for that. He's also, yeah, you smart not to
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Speaker 1: take the test because now there's no actual, absolute proof
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Speaker 1: that he was on that medication. But don't prove it.
10:06
Speaker 1: They'll find it, and you know, to find the pills,
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Speaker 1: they'll find the whole thing. So he's gonna have a
10:12
Speaker 1: real problem. He's got to try to stay out of
10:14
Speaker 1: jail this time, and it's going to be tough. When
10:16
Speaker 1: you're Tiger Woods and at your home state, you can
10:19
Speaker 1: pull a lot of strings. But it's like the third time,
10:24
Speaker 1: fourth time, he's going to have a problem. President Trump
10:27
Speaker 1: was asked about it. I feel so badly.
10:29
Speaker 2: He's uh, he's got some difficulty. There was an accident
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Speaker 2: and that's all I know. A very close friend of mine.
10:37
Speaker 2: He's an amazing person, amazing man, but some difficulty. We
10:44
Speaker 2: we don't.
10:45
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, because the
10:47
Speaker 1: President knows this guy's got a serious chance of going
10:50
Speaker 1: to jail. He's got serious legal problems. Better to say nothing.
10:54
Speaker 1: You don't want to do anything to influence what's going
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Speaker 1: to happen to him. So, oh hey, I got to
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Speaker 1: mention the No Kings march No Kings. As I said,
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Speaker 1: it's senior citizens. A lot of senior citizens and one
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Speaker 1: elderly senior citizen came out for the No Kings March.
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Speaker 1: Actually he went to Minnesota. His name is Bruce Springstey,
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Speaker 1: and there was Bruce. It's like Bob Dylan in the
11:19
Speaker 1: sixties at the protest there was Bruce where his protest
11:22
Speaker 1: song about Minnesota kind of sad. He's become like a
11:25
Speaker 1: parody of himself. We talk about old yeah, bull, it's
11:29
Speaker 1: a good Joe Biden's singing. We'll remember the names. It's
11:33
Speaker 1: really only two names. It's I mean, it's not like
11:36
Speaker 1: Vietnam we got to remember sixty thousand names. Well remember that. Yeah,
11:40
Speaker 1: I can remember them now I can't remember were they good?
11:45
Speaker 1: And Alex pretty See, it's just two names. You can
11:49
Speaker 1: do it. You can remember him. Hey, they had that
11:52
Speaker 1: Inner Circle dinner. I heard them talking on the morning Shoes.
11:56
Speaker 1: How come I how come I don't go to it? Well,
11:57
Speaker 1: I used to go to it years ago. But it's
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Speaker 1: the dinner in the world. It is the absolute worst
12:02
Speaker 1: thing you could ever sit through. And everybody there calls
12:05
Speaker 1: me from the dinner telling me how horrible it is,
12:09
Speaker 1: and I can't believe. Here's the problem with it. You know,
12:11
Speaker 1: it sounds like it's the news media, the media, the
12:14
Speaker 1: TV newspaper, the media, of New York. Hold this dinner.
12:17
Speaker 1: When you get there, you won't know who anybody is.
12:19
Speaker 1: It's not any media you've ever heard of. It's the
12:22
Speaker 1: backbenchers from every newsroom. It's the street reporters, the weekend
12:26
Speaker 1: the people, it's the you know, even in the grand
12:29
Speaker 1: days of the Inner Circle, it was never Chuck Scarborough,
12:32
Speaker 1: it was never any of the big names. Always the backbenchers.
12:37
Speaker 1: And they try to compare themselves to the White House
12:40
Speaker 1: Correspondence dinner. But that's a professionally done dinner. It's very tight,
12:45
Speaker 1: and they have some speeches, a couple of serious speeches,
12:49
Speaker 1: and then one of the top comedians of the world
12:51
Speaker 1: gets up and does twenty minutes and it's very funny.
12:54
Speaker 1: And then the President gets up and there's a ten minute,
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Speaker 1: very funny response, and he has top common writers write
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Speaker 1: his response. This Inner Circle dinner is the most unbelievable
13:06
Speaker 1: ego maniac festival you've ever seen. These are all these
13:08
Speaker 1: backbenchers from the newsroom who you you don't even know.
13:11
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're what they call double snaps. You'd go, yeah,
13:15
Speaker 1: what's his name, Like you've seen the face, you just
13:17
Speaker 1: don't know who it is. But they write this stuff
13:22
Speaker 1: out and they have the most unbelievable egos. They can't
13:28
Speaker 1: edit anything, so the show goes for like three hours.
13:31
Speaker 1: It's not that funny. I mean, you find a couple
13:33
Speaker 1: of funny mint moments here and there. But if a
13:35
Speaker 1: professional director of producer, if a Louren Michaels came in,
13:39
Speaker 1: he'd say, what the hell are you doing? Cut this
13:41
Speaker 1: down to forty minutes, cut it down to thirty five minutes,
13:44
Speaker 1: and make it a fast, tight thirty five minutes. This
13:46
Speaker 1: is three hours. Most of it is lame and boring,
13:49
Speaker 1: and I don't know where they ever got this idea.
13:51
Speaker 1: They just they can't sing or dance. I mean, which
13:54
Speaker 1: is fine. I can't either, but they do like twenty
13:57
Speaker 1: five songs where they sing and dance and costumes like
13:59
Speaker 1: it's a Broadway musical. None of them can sing or
14:01
Speaker 1: dance except one, what's her name, Hazel Sanchez Channel eleven,
14:05
Speaker 1: actually actually ken sing and it's pretty passable as a dancer.
14:09
Speaker 1: So there's one. But it's the most ridiculous, and people
14:13
Speaker 1: are calling me from there every time there's an Inner
14:15
Speaker 1: Circle dinner. It's a problem because I'm always out on Saturday.
14:17
Speaker 1: They're all calling. Oh my god, it's like hour number
14:19
Speaker 1: two of the show. It's just never stops. It's so lame.
14:23
Speaker 1: And Mam Donnie. They love Mam Donni the press, so
14:25
Speaker 1: they're all over him. The whole thing is them conspiring
14:29
Speaker 1: of Mom Donnie to put this thing on. He works
14:31
Speaker 1: with them, They work with him all and they put
14:34
Speaker 1: him at a seat of honor right in the middle
14:35
Speaker 1: of the room and then they work out all these
14:38
Speaker 1: sketches with him and then he does his respect. But
14:40
Speaker 1: they're coordinating with Mom Donnie round the clock for weeks
14:44
Speaker 1: and months on this whole thing. And then in Mam
14:47
Speaker 1: Donnie's long piece, somewhere in there at the end, he
14:51
Speaker 1: runs a video where they asked Curtis to come over
14:54
Speaker 1: and film this at the It's filmed in the Mayor's
14:56
Speaker 1: office at City Hall, so it's like a little minute
14:59
Speaker 1: and a half way Curtis. So as soon as this
15:01
Speaker 1: I'm men to have a Curtis. They're going crazy. How
15:03
Speaker 1: dare Curtis get involved with Mayor Mom Donnie? How dare
15:06
Speaker 1: he get involved in the skit with mayor? But you
15:08
Speaker 1: guys just spent three hours involved with Mayor Mom Donnie.
15:11
Speaker 1: You just did forty skits with him, What are you
15:13
Speaker 1: so mad about? Curtis? And again it was cute, but
15:16
Speaker 1: it wasn't that funny. I still don't really get it.
15:18
Speaker 1: It's something about Mam Donnie is going to have a cat,
15:21
Speaker 1: so he needs a doctor to give him an allergy
15:23
Speaker 1: shot for the cat, and the doctor is Curtis. It's
15:27
Speaker 1: it's cute, It's okay. Anyway. I don't know if the
15:30
Speaker 1: nurse told you. I'm sort of going through a midlife.
15:32
Speaker 3: Crisis, you know, changing careers.
15:35
Speaker 1: It's been a little traumatic.
15:36
Speaker 2: What were you doing before?
15:37
Speaker 3: Oh, you know, hosting radio shows, protecting parade right to
15:41
Speaker 3: exist and most importantly, helping to destroy finished old political dynasties.
15:50
Speaker 1: Oh, by the way, it isn't all about me. What
15:52
Speaker 1: do you do?
15:53
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm a content creator by do little governing on
15:56
Speaker 2: the side.
15:57
Speaker 3: Anyway, first day, you're gonna do.
15:58
Speaker 1: Great, doctor Cela. Don't be glazing me. See it goes on.
16:05
Speaker 1: It's cute, but it's like if this were a real
16:07
Speaker 1: like Saturday Night Live or a real professional show, the
16:12
Speaker 1: producer would reject most of these sketches, or they'd tighten
16:14
Speaker 1: them up. The whole show would be thirty five minutes,
16:16
Speaker 1: not three hours, and people can't sing or dan. It
16:19
Speaker 1: was just embarrassing. And you should see they spent a
16:23
Speaker 1: fortune producing this thing. They spent a fortune producing this thing.
16:27
Speaker 1: If you saw the amount that ends up going to
16:29
Speaker 1: the charity, because it's all expenses producing this thing, you
16:32
Speaker 1: wouldn't be too thrilled. But then all hell broke loose.
16:38
Speaker 1: What is Curtis doing with them? Theyre you guys, just
16:40
Speaker 1: spend three hours in the room with them. And by
16:43
Speaker 1: the way, if you go there, you don't see anybody
16:44
Speaker 1: in the audience anymore. It used to be every politician
16:47
Speaker 1: had to come, they felt they had to, the senator, Schumer,
16:50
Speaker 1: the other senator, police commissioner, fire commission. Don't see them
16:53
Speaker 1: there anymore. In fact, you could look around the room,
16:55
Speaker 1: you'd recognize about five people in the whole room. Anyway,
16:58
Speaker 1: we'll take some calls next. Eight h hundred three two
17:01
Speaker 1: one zero seven ten is the number. Eight hundred three
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Speaker 1: two one zero seven ten.