Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How First Gen Professionals Can Find a Mentor
Transcript
- Lucas: So about 30 percent of college graduates in the U.S. are first-generation students. That means they're the first in their immediate family to earn a four-year degree. But here's the thing — that same group is roughly half as likely as their peers to have a mentor in their early career. Luna: Half as likely? That's a massive gap. And it's not because they don't want one, right? Lucas: Exactly. It's often because they don't know how to ask, or they don't even realize mentorship is an expectation. If your parents didn't go through corporate life, you don't inherit that playbook. You're making it up as you go. Luna: And that's where we come in. If this show has helped you think through a career move or just feel less alone in navigating your path — head over to buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, just a way to keep the episodes ad-free. Back to you, Lucas. Lucas: Yeah. So let's break this down. First, why the gap exists. It's not just about knowing people — it's about knowing the unwritten rules. For example, many first-gen professionals don't realize that a mentor is often found through a series of small interactions, not a single ask. Luna: I've heard that 'will you be my mentor?' actually puts people off. It's too formal, too much pressure. Lucas: Right. Better to start with a specific question: 'I noticed you worked on the X project. Could I ask you about how you approached the timeline?' That's low-risk. If the conversation goes well, you follow up. Over months, that person naturally becomes a mentor. Luna: What about the first-gen professional who feels like an impostor in a room full of people who seem to 'get it'? How do they even approach someone senior? Lucas: That imposter feeling is real. But here's a reframe: you're not asking for charity. You're offering the chance to invest in someone who is hungry. Many senior leaders actually enjoy mentoring because it gives them perspective. So walk in knowing you bring a unique point of view. Luna: And what about the sponsor piece? You've talked before about how a mentor gives advice, but a sponsor uses their political capital to open doors. Lucas: Right. For first-gen professionals, sponsorship can be even more critical. Because you don't have the family connections that might give you a leg up on a promotion or a high-visibility project. A sponsor says, 'I'm putting my name behind this person.' Luna: So how do you convert a mentor into a sponsor? That feels like a delicate dance. Lucas: It is, but it's not impossible. First, you have to deliver. Exceed expectations on every assignment. Then, when you have a win, share it with your mentor and say, 'Your advice really helped here.' Over time, they'll see you as a reflection of their own judgment. That trust is what makes them willing to recommend you. Luna: That makes sense. So the onus is on us to prove we're worth that bet. Lucas: Exactly. And it's not just about proving it to them — it's about proving it to yourself. Many first-gen professionals underestimate their own accomplishments. They think, 'Anyone could have done that.' But that's not true. Luna: I've seen that. It's almost like a reluctance to self-advocate. What's your advice for overcoming that? Lucas: Start by keeping a 'win list' — a document where you note every positive outcome, every compliment, every project you led. Review it before any performance review or meeting with a potential mentor. It trains your brain to see your own value. Luna: That's practical. Let's talk about where to find mentors. If you're first-gen, you might not have alumni connections or family friends in your industry. Lucas: Right. But you have other assets. Your peers, for instance. They might be one or two years ahead, but they've already navigated things you haven't. That's a 'peer mentor' — undervalued but incredibly helpful. Also, professional associations often have formal mentorship programs. Luna: And what about online? LinkedIn can feel like a swamp of self-promotion, but it's also a place where you can find people who explicitly want to help. Lucas: Absolutely. Look for people who post about mentorship or who have 'mentor' in their profile. Send them a short message referencing something specific they wrote. It's not cold — it's targeted. Luna: Okay, but what if you're in a very competitive culture, like a high-pressure law firm or a cutthroat sales org? We did an episode on that, but it's especially tough for first-gen folks. Lucas: It is. In those environments, people are wary of appearing weak. So you have to frame the ask as a learning opportunity for them too. 'I'd love to hear how you structured that deal' — that flatters them and gives you insight. And if they're dismissive, move on. Not everyone will be your person. Luna: So persistence matters, but so does knowing when to cut your losses. Lucas: Exactly. One mentor is enough if it's the right one. And for first-gen professionals, that one mentor can change the trajectory of your entire career. I'm thinking of a study from the Harvard Business Review that found first-gen professionals with mentors were more likely to reach senior leadership than those without. Luna: That's a powerful stat. So even though the odds are stacked at the start, mentorship can level the playing field. Lucas: It can. But you have to be intentional. Don't wait for someone to tap you on the shoulder. Identify two or three people you admire, and start with that low-stakes coffee chat. The key is to show curiosity and gratitude. Luna: And what about the long game? How do you maintain a relationship with a mentor over years, especially when you change jobs or industries? Lucas: Great question. The mentor relationship doesn't have to end when you leave a company. Send a quarterly update: 'Here's what I'm doing, here's how your advice helped.' Even a short email keeps the connection alive. And when you achieve something significant, attribute some of it to them. People like to know they made a difference. Luna: I think that's especially important for first-gen professionals who might feel like they're the only one in their family navigating this. Having that person who gets it can be a lifeline. Lucas: It really is. And one more thing — don't underestimate the power of reverse mentorship. You might be younger, but you bring fresh skills, especially in technology or social media. Offer to help your mentor with something. That reciprocity strengthens the bond. Luna: So mentorship is a two-way street. That's a great note to end on. Next week we'll look at how to find a mentor when you're changing careers — but for this week, if you're first-gen, take that first step. Lucas: Yeah. And if you're a senior leader listening, reach out to the first-gen professional in your organization. Offer that coffee. You might change someone's life. Until next time.