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The Spring Squeeze: Setting Boundaries that Protect your Family's Spiritual Health · Equipped for Impact

0:00
Luis: I want you to think about last Tuesday.
0:03
Luis: Not a hypothetical Tuesday, but your actual Tuesday.
0:07
Luis: The one where you found yourself eating dinner in the car.
0:11
Luis: The one when bedtime was 45 minutes late.
0:15
Luis: And the only thing that you could pray about was God, please let tomorrow be easier.
0:22
Luis: The one when you looked at your husband or wife across the messy kitchen bar at 9 30 at night, and all you could do was just let out a big deep breath.
0:35
Nate: If that just landed, you are exactly who this episode is for.
0:40
Nate: Because we're not talking about bad parenting today.
0:43
Nate: We're talking about a bad season and what we as Christians can do with it.
0:50
Luis: We tell ourselves it's just for a few weeks until school is out, but those few weeks are exactly when our kids need spiritual grounding the most.
0:59
Luis: So today we're talking about how to survive the squeeze without losing your soul.
1:13
Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.
1:25
Nate: We're your hosts.
1:26
Nate: I'm Nate.
1:27
Nate: And I'm Lewis.
1:28
Nate: And we are glad you're here with us today, where we are talking about boundaries.
1:34
Nate: We're discussing how to protect your family's spiritual health when the culture is demanding every second of your time.
1:42
Nate: So, Lewis, we've we've talked before, right, about busy seasons.
1:45
Nate: Um, Christmas time, springtime, like we're in right now.
1:49
Nate: Yep.
1:49
Nate: Um, you know, in the spring, uh, the idol that we deal with sometimes is our schedule.
1:57
Nate: And we begin to believe that if our child misses one practice or one event, they'll fall behind and lose opportunities forever.
2:05
Luis: Yeah, and honestly, if we're truly honest with ourselves, it's a form of functional atheism.
2:12
Luis: Because when we do that, we're acting it as if our child's future depends entirely on whether they make their dance recital or whether they make their softball game or their baseball game or their soccer game.
2:29
Nate: There's probably a pro recruiter in the stands ready to see your child hit that home run and then like sign them to a major league deal.
2:38
Nate: At seven years old.
2:39
Nate: At seven years old.
2:39
Luis: That's exactly right.
2:41
Luis: But right, instead of focusing on God's sovereign plan, we're focusing on our child's extracurricular activities.
2:49
Luis: Yeah, that's right.
2:50
Nate: And and Matthew six really t sets the stage well for us because it it says, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
3:02
Nate: Of course, in that context, right?
3:04
Nate: We love context around here.
3:05
Nate: Matthew 6, Jesus is talking about all the things you need, right?
3:08
Nate: He says, you know, look at the birds, they, you know, they're fed by God, you know, don't worry about tomorrow, don't worry about the clothes you wear, what you eat.
3:16
Nate: He says, seek first God's kingdom, and then all these other things that you need will be taken care of.
3:22
Nate: And so when we're in the spring squeeze and we're tempted to, you know, try and and you know win acceptance or you know, through through, you know, winning the regional championship or have our hope in our performance in some extracurricular activity, uh the the truth is that those things can squeeze out the stuff that matters most, the kingdom stuff.
3:44
Nate: Yeah.
3:45
Nate: Instead, we're really trying to squeeze the church stuff, the kingdom stuff, in the cracks of whatever time we have available left.
3:52
Luis: That reminds me of a video that I've seen, and you may have seen it.
3:54
Luis: It's it's an old one where the guy has the big jar, and then he's putting in like the the he puts the sand in, the pebbles and the rocks, but it all doesn't fit, right?
4:02
Luis: Right, right.
4:03
Luis: And then he does it all over again and he puts the big rocks in, the pebbles, the sand, and the very same thing that didn't fit, it fits now, right?
4:11
Luis: And when we sacrifice the family altar for the family calendar, that that's exactly what we're doing.
4:18
Luis: We're teaching our kids what we truly value.
4:20
Luis: So God is the big rocks, right?
4:23
Luis: The pebbles are the things of the church and the things that we should be doing, you know, our family time, our devotion time, and the sand is all this other stuff.
4:32
Luis: And so when we put the sand in first, we're discipling them to believe that God, the big rock, is a secondary priority to their performance or to the thing that they like doing.
4:44
Nate: Yeah, that's exactly right.
4:46
Nate: And so we need to talk about like how do we fight back against this, right?
4:49
Nate: If we're not careful, spring will literally squeeze the life out of you.
4:53
Nate: And so what we need to do is is I think the word here is intentional.
4:57
Nate: You know, you were talking about putting the big rocks in first.
5:01
Nate: That's intentionality instead of just going by default and then you just squeeze out whatever's left.
5:07
Nate: Another way to think about it is being tactical, right?
5:10
Nate: Intentional, tactical, being good stewards of our time.
5:14
Nate: Which Ephesians 5 talks to this, right?
5:16
Nate: It it talks about how we should look carefully how we walk, how we live, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.
5:26
Nate: And we see intentionality there.
5:28
Luis: Yeah, and making the best use of your time doesn't mean that you do more.
5:32
Luis: It means being more intentional.
5:34
Luis: So that if you're spending four nights a week at the ball field, that field becomes your family altar.
5:42
Nate: Yeah, and that's right.
5:43
Nate: I mean, we're not saying don't participate in all of these activities, right?
5:47
Nate: Addressing the elephant in the room, you Lewis, you and I both work at a school, right?
5:51
Nate: And a lot of these extracurriculars come out of the school, right?
5:55
Nate: And then that's on top of, we hope you're involved in church, right?
5:59
Nate: So your youth group probably has different spring activities and and whatnot.
6:02
Nate: Everything's kind of thawing.
6:04
Nate: If you're in the colder parts of the country or the world, it's literally thawing right now.
6:09
Nate: We've been thawed for several months now.
6:12
Luis: Uh a few weeks, right?
6:13
Luis: Because it was because it was still cold in March.
6:15
Luis: We still had some cold days in March.
6:17
Nate: A couple days.
6:18
Nate: You think so?
6:18
Nate: Anyone from New York that just heard you say it was cold in March here in North Carolina is laughing.
6:24
Nate: But anyway, we understand this.
6:26
Nate: And what you have to do is we go back to Deuteronomy 6, right?
6:30
Nate: You you do this discipleship when you stand up and you lie down as you walk on the way.
6:36
Nate: And so in some ways, we need to take that discipleship with us, right?
6:41
Nate: It you may not be able to sit around the dinner table every night.
6:44
Nate: We still think you should make that a priority.
6:47
Nate: It should be one of those big rocks, right?
6:49
Nate: But you can use that 20-minute drive or maybe hour and a half drive, whatever it is, to and from an activity to turn off the radio, put away the phones, and have good discipleship conversations right there in the car.
7:04
Nate: So you're taking discipleship with you, and your kids learn that that's important.
7:09
Luis: And you also have to be willing to say no, right?
7:12
Luis: We've talked about that in previous episodes.
7:14
Luis: Sometimes protecting no I'm practicing.
7:18
Luis: You're practicing the no, right?
7:19
Luis: No.
7:19
Luis: It's a good no.
7:20
Luis: No.
7:21
Nate: It's a full sentence, too.
7:22
Nate: It is, it is.
7:23
Nate: No justification, just no.
7:24
Luis: And it's also in a different language, right?
7:26
Nate: No.
7:27
Luis: Yeah.
7:28
Luis: Because no is no in Spanish.
7:30
Luis: You're right.
7:31
Luis: And it's also no in English.
7:32
Luis: It is.
7:32
Luis: And there's probably other languages that we don't know.
7:34
Luis: I'm sure.
7:35
Luis: So nine.
7:36
Nate: That's German.
7:37
Nate: That's German.
7:38
Nate: Yep.
7:38
Nate: Nine?
7:38
Luis: Yep.
7:39
Nate: Nine.
7:39
Nate: You say nine to say no?
7:40
Nate: Yep.
7:41
Nate: Not like the number nine, but just nine.
7:43
Luis: Is it spelled like nine?
7:44
Nate: No.
7:44
Nate: No.
7:45
Nate: No.
7:46
Luis: No.
7:48
Nate: Enough nonsense.
7:50
Luis: And so, and so sometimes protecting the family altar means that you have to tell your coach that you're gonna be late to practice because you're prioritizing a church event or you're prioritizing a family rest night.
8:04
Luis: Uh, and and and that's a massive worldview statement for your child.
8:08
Luis: And look, I've shared it before.
8:11
Luis: I have a daughter that plays highly competitive national travel soccer.
8:18
Luis: And so I know what it's like to be practicing on a Monday.
8:22
Luis: I know what it's like to be practicing on a Wednesday.
8:24
Luis: I know what it's like to have games on a Sunday.
8:27
Luis: And when somebody tells me that they have to miss church all the time because of travel sports, I laugh because no, you don't.
8:37
Luis: Like, like there are ways to still be able to get it all in.
8:41
Luis: And sometimes it means that you have to tell your coach, hey coach, we can't be there this Wednesday night.
8:45
Luis: Like I know we have practice, but we're not gonna be there on Wednesday because we're gonna be at church this Wednesday.
8:51
Luis: Yeah.
8:51
Luis: And it sometimes it may mean that you have to make a priority and you just have to say no.
8:58
Luis: Or if you're German, nine.
9:00
Luis: Nine.
9:00
Nate: Yep, that's exactly right.
9:02
Nate: And so we kind of understand that, right?
9:04
Nate: If you are a longtime listener to this podcast, you know, you've heard us say this before.
9:09
Nate: The you know, prioritizing, being intentional, saying no, checking the calendar.
9:13
Nate: Um, if you're new to this podcast, hey, we'd love to hear from you.
9:17
Nate: Send us an email, podcast at Wayne Christian.org.
9:20
Nate: Uh, we'd love to hear from our new listeners.
9:22
Nate: And make sure you subscribe and share this with a friend, right?
9:25
Nate: So you don't miss our next episode.
9:27
Nate: But it's really good.
9:28
Nate: It is.
9:29
Nate: Our next one.
9:29
Nate: I'm sure it is.
9:30
Nate: Well, no, I mean like our podcast in general.
9:32
Nate: It's really good.
9:33
Nate: Okay.
9:33
Nate: Yeah.
9:33
Nate: There you go.
9:34
Nate: You can even leave that as a review.
9:36
Nate: Five stars and then your comment.
9:38
Nate: It's really good.
9:39
Nate: There you go.
9:39
Nate: And if you want to, you can just say no in your podcast review.
9:43
Nate: I'd be good.
9:43
Nate: Nine.
9:44
Nate: Nine would be even better.
9:45
Nate: If you're from Germany.
9:46
Nate: Yep.
9:46
Nate: And how much you love breakfast for dinner.
9:48
Nate: We want to hear that.
9:48
Nate: We don't want you to listen to our podcast if you like breakfast for dinner.
9:51
Nate: I'm sorry that he just said that.
9:52
Nate: That's incorrect.
9:54
Nate: Nine.
9:54
Nate: Nine.
9:55
Nate: Nine.
9:55
Nate: Okay.
9:56
Nate: So he we want to get practical with how this looks for you.
9:59
Nate: And I think something that's it, it can be something really simple, right?
10:04
Nate: And when you hear how simple it is, uh, your brain will start making excuses as to why you can't do this.
10:10
Nate: And we're not gonna say, you know, a five-minute devotional, we're not gonna say, you know, a plan that requires five steps or even ten minutes or whatever, okay?
10:20
Nate: You just need a willingness to stop at some point in your day.
10:25
Nate: Right?
10:26
Nate: Just stop.
10:27
Nate: That's it.
10:27
Nate: Yep, just it.
10:28
Nate: That's it.
10:29
Nate: Pull everybody together wherever you are, and and you can do three things together, okay?
10:34
Nate: Three things, just a couple of minutes, do it every day.
10:37
Nate: And you think about it, this is that makes it really simple.
10:40
Nate: Yeah.
10:40
Nate: It makes it sustainable.
10:41
Nate: Yep.
10:41
Nate: Right.
10:42
Nate: And you can do this even if it's at the breakfast table before your day explodes.
10:47
Nate: It can be on a car ride, right?
10:49
Nate: Before you back out of the garage, before you, you know, open the door and car line for school, whatever it is, right?
10:55
Nate: Maybe when you're coming home from practice, right?
10:57
Nate: When you're coming home from practice, right before you turn the lights out, whatever it is, just just m set a rhythm and do it a time to stop.
11:04
Nate: Yeah.
11:05
Nate: Right?
11:06
Nate: And then your kids recognize, okay, we've got a time to pause.
11:10
Nate: We've got a time to stop.
11:12
Nate: And it's not necessarily the length or how polished this time is, but it's the fact that it's a rhythm that you can come back to and it's simple, right?
11:22
Nate: So Lewis, what do you think they can do when they take this stop as a family?
11:27
Luis: What could they do during this time?
11:29
Luis: Well, you know, we want to keep it simple, right?
11:31
Luis: Because because we know that you're do that you're doing it in the midst of the busyness, right?
11:36
Luis: And so three things read, review, and request.
11:41
Nate: That's exactly right.
11:42
Nate: So so read, right?
11:43
Nate: It's exactly what it sounds like.
11:45
Nate: Read something in the scriptures.
11:47
Nate: Yeah.
11:48
Nate: A psalm.
11:48
Nate: Yeah.
11:49
Nate: A proverb.
11:50
Nate: Don't read Psalm 119.
11:51
Nate: That's gonna take too much time.
11:53
Nate: It may take you days.
11:54
Nate: May take you days.
11:55
Nate: Okay.
11:55
Nate: But maybe you read one of, you know, it's broken up by like letters of the Hebrew alphabet.
11:59
Nate: Yeah.
12:00
Nate: So you could do a letter of the Hebrew alphabet, like a section of Psalm 119.
12:03
Nate: Yep.
12:04
Nate: Read a proverb.
12:05
Nate: Not a whole chapter, right?
12:06
Nate: A little passage that you can read if you've got extra time.
12:10
Nate: You can flip over to other things, right?
12:12
Nate: But just read something because the goal's not about covering a lot of ground, right?
12:17
Nate: The goal is that you are in contact with the Word of God every day.
12:23
Nate: And I think that's enough right there.
12:25
Luis: Yeah.
12:25
Luis: And then review is where it gets really interesting, right?
12:28
Luis: Because this is this is where you ask one question.
12:31
Luis: And the question is, where did we see God moving today?
12:36
Luis: And here's where I want to be specific because this question sounds completely different depending on who is sitting at the table.
12:45
Nate: Yeah, you're right.
12:46
Nate: Because your seven-year-old might say something along the lines of, you know, you you might ask, you know, what what happened today that made you happy or scared or confused, right?
12:56
Nate: With your teenager, you can probably go on the full question of like, where did you see God?
13:00
Nate: Right.
13:01
Nate: But let's talk about, you know, where God was working and whether it's, you know, it's something to get your young children thinking in stories from their day.
13:11
Nate: Just give them permission to tell you what they saw and then share yours of how you saw God at work in your day today.
13:18
Luis: Nada, I know you mentioned, you know, that with your teenager you can be a little bit different, right?
13:22
Luis: So I have I have a 15-year-old daughter, right?
13:25
Luis: And so if you have a 15-year-old daughter, you know, who just had a hard day at school or at practice, and they don't they don't want to talk, right?
13:34
Luis: You you have to ask it differently, right?
13:36
Luis: You might say yes or no questions.
13:38
Luis: That's right, yeah.
13:39
Luis: You might say, Hey, I I don't want to make this weird.
13:41
Luis: Just tell me one thing that actually happened in your day-to-day.
13:46
Luis: And you're not looking for a theological answer.
13:49
Luis: You are looking for an open door because the conversation is the discipleship.
13:55
Nate: Yep.
13:55
Nate: And and to be honest, there are gonna be nights, right, where your your son or your daughter just give you a one-word answer and that's it, right?
14:03
Nate: So don't think that that is losing, right?
14:06
Nate: Don't think that it's not working because it's it's multiple conversations over time that will really build on each other, right?
14:15
Nate: And so showing up consistently matters more than having one really perfect conversation in that moment.
14:24
Nate: Yeah, right.
14:25
Nate: Just stop, show, show up and and have those conversations, even on nights when you feel like you know nothing's landing in the conversation, you're still there and you're present.
14:36
Luis: Excellent, excellent.
14:38
Luis: And that's right where we want parents to to hear and to and to be, right, and to understand.
14:46
Luis: It does not have to be profound to be powerful.
14:49
Luis: Yep.
14:50
Luis: Just a pause, just a prayer.
14:54
Nate: And that leads us to the third thing.
14:56
Nate: Yeah, which is request, right?
14:57
Nate: And and really you're gonna pray specifically for the next 24 hours, right?
15:02
Nate: So this is where you can you can make sure that you're not just given a generic prayer.
15:06
Nate: You pray for the tests they have tomorrow.
15:09
Nate: You pray for the conflict they're having with a friend, you pray for the coach who's been hard on your son.
15:16
Nate: You can name real things that are in your life, your child's life, because when your child hears you bring their actual life to God, they learn that God is not just about Sunday mornings, right?
15:28
Nate: He's there for Thursday nights when everything is hard and everyone is tired and we can't wait for the weekend.
15:34
Nate: They're there and you're praying specifically, not a long prayer, right?
15:38
Nate: But specifically about what's going on in your life so that they learn that God cares about those things.
15:44
Nate: So three things simple.
15:45
Nate: Yep.
15:46
Luis: Read, review, request.
15:49
Luis: Maybe ten minutes, right?
15:51
Nate: Mm-hmm.
15:51
Luis: Same time every day.
15:53
Luis: Yep.
15:53
Luis: But don't kill yourself it's if it's not the same time, right?
15:56
Luis: Sometimes your days are gonna look different.
15:58
Luis: Just make the time.
16:00
Nate: Yep, that's exactly right.
16:01
Nate: And you don't need a curriculum, you don't need a book other than the Bible.
16:05
Nate: You just need a few minutes of presence and a few minutes of prayer, and that's it.
16:09
Nate: And do that consistently until you're out of this spring squeeze.
16:14
Nate: Uh and so speak specific speaking of the spring squeeze, that's a lot of S words.
16:20
Nate: S words.
16:20
Nate: But speaking of that, yeah, we're gonna cut this episode a little bit shorter because you need some extra time to maybe do that now.
16:26
Nate: You can stop and you can pause and you can pray and maybe even read.
16:31
Nate: Unless you're driving, uh you use an audio Bible, something like that.
16:34
Nate: But Lewis, kind of as we wrap this up, give the parents, you know, just one last word of encouragement before we end this episode.
16:42
Luis: Well, here's the truth that you need to know, right?
16:45
Luis: The trophies are gonna get dusty, they're gonna go into the attic, schedules are gonna get forgotten, but a child who grows up knowing that their parents stop and make time for God, that's gonna stick with them.
17:00
Luis: And that travels with them into their adulthood.
17:04
Luis: That's gonna travel with them into their marriages, that's gonna travel into how they raise their own children some days.
17:10
Luis: And so, parents, you're building something that's gonna outlast this season.
17:14
Luis: And so don't let the busy spring season steal what you have been building in your children's life.
17:21
Luis: You have what it takes to protect what matters most because God isn't calling you to be perfect, He's just calling you to be faithful.
17:30
Luis: And so here's my challenge, right?
17:32
Luis: This week, find time to guard one moment.
17:35
Luis: Put it on the calendar just like you do your games, just like you do practices, just like you do recitals, and make the altar non-negotiable.
17:44
Luis: Protect the altar and protect the future of your children.
17:47
Nate: That's right.
17:48
Nate: So, thank you all for listening today to Equipped for Impact.
17:51
Nate: And if this episode encouraged you, please share it with another parent who could use it.
17:56
Nate: Uh, there's a lot of parents out there who are feeling this spring squeeze as well.
18:01
Nate: And so uh share this encouragement and maybe even make it a commitment with other parent friends that you guys can stop and use the time with your children wisely.
18:11
Nate: Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode.
18:15
Nate: And until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.