Latest / Dear Son, / It Takes a Village | How Important Is Your Friend Circle? | Ep 143| The Dear Son, Show

Transcript

It Takes a Village | How Important Is Your Friend Circle? | Ep 143| The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get it.
• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
• 0:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of fatherhood, four fathers, those with fathers, and the father lesson nobody's left out.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: These are the stories we want our sons to access as they grow through life.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So no conversations are all for limits.
• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want your host, Deja.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your other host, Jay Black.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Jay Black, how are you feeling?
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Feeling good?
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: We need deep into someone.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, yeah.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, a country you ain't right there.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's barely, man.
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's been that kind of summer though, man.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: We, we feed our moving.
• 0:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'll buy to say, feed that softly.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We eat our moving, man.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: We did our land though, got that out.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nope.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've knocked that Mexico.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got three more to go.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: get this old boy off the college next week.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, the time it is, but I say that, but we live, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now I went through the episode with some episodes I had never clipped up.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I got, I got the clips loaded.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we got that kind of down.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: They coming out of me.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm a, you know, dealing with the behind the scenes first, straightened with the platform.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Some platforms would be, you put out ten clips that might show one.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then other platforms, they show all of them.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: TikTok is weird.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: So if you ain't following us on TikTok, I'm podcast on the score pops.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's at J Black J E Y B L A C. That's her.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's TikTok.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Get with us over there.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: TikTok has been more favorable to the content and letting some things go.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you hundred two hundred thousand views on a couple of them, which is not big to a lot of people, but it's just encouraging.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: more for me about the community that I see with who could provide feedback, getting in the conversation.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I know that what we're doing is is a stimulate conversation.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's the whole point.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Speaking of which, let's get right into the conversation today.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, I just made a post this morning.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it hit me and the post was, do you allow your friend circle to discipline your child?
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you feel about that?
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm open to it.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you feel about it?
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm open to it.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm open to it because my friends serve a lot of trust them.
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's the harder the matter.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's all about trust.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, so the root, the real root of the question is
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you call a friend?
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what do you allow exposure and access to your family and your circle?
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna get to it.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what the whole thing was about because it's more of a testament to who you are in which your character attracts and defend and repels.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: So let's get into it man.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I started thinking about how I grew up in the conversations I had my parents about how they grew up.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I came from a generation of
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: If I see my parents' friends in public, I'm adjusting to what they expect of my parents' child in public.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: And having children at the age that are moving out, feet shuffling in this world.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I see who they bring around.
• 3:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm engaging them that same way.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, man, two parts of it is, I'm judging your parents behind you acting around me.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I get when you with your friends and y'all think y'all moving and grooving and nobody looking.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I get that.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: That corny elbow of an old head to think that that doesn't happen.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: But do you actually have respect for me as an adult?
• 3:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whether you know me or not, because that's the other thing.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not friends with my children's friends to the most part.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean a couple of exceptions, but yeah, yeah.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: By and large who they run with,
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I can't necessarily pick up the phone and say, hey, that's your house.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: It ain't like that with the majority of the crew.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: What was it like for you growing up?
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Same.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it was understood.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was unspoken.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it was a, it was a look.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: A glare of, I wish you would.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because everything was, I don't care what you were doing.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: As a child, you get offended by it.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's not even on you.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: But as an adult, you realize it's absolutely on you.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: When they say, maybe at that school,
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: In bears in me, you're like, no, oh, me.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got loose at this school.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: They talking to me.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: They talking to me through you.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was the thing.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I, you know, as a child, you don't get that initially until you really understand what's being said.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And back then, as when I was a kid, I, our childhood,
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You didn't get explanations.
• 4:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not fun.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to explain to you why this is important.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just know that it's important and move that way.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's the piece that we take that mentality, but we build on it.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: You do express the portion of it of why this is important so that you do know the, this is why you're doing it.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You still better do it, but this is why.
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So hopefully if you have a better understanding of it, it sticks and you're not waiting till you think someone's not looking to not do that thing.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: because you understand the reason you're doing it, it may hold and that now becomes your character.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, more so that you're just trying to act that way because eyes are on you, you know what I mean?
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad you said that because it brings up a point about how do we convey the consequences of
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: You doing the night doing?
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: What we say do?
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: We talked about it before.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've been clear.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just thought I posted some clips recently of old conversations about how we feel about discipline.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like the whole discipline for correction, not for control.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've moved away from physically disciplining my children because I led with that, but it wasn't because they needed it.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was because of what I experienced with my parents' experience and probably with their parents' experience.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it didn't necessarily need it.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't fall my parents because I pushed the line.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm the youngest, right?
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: So my sister didn't get it.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: She's with she.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, she don't swim.
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: She, she's there's a, come on folklore, come on folklore about her being disciplined.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've heard about the two of us morning.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, that's trust you for you.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, come on.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the, again, if I was a child that needed this plan, maybe that's what it led to.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't trying to give them.
• 6:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe that's what it led to that, uh, that, that, um, that trust.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: I can't connect the dots right now.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe after the, in a post, I'll be able to connect the dots.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: But, but how do you?
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I guess was being your journey in connecting the dots with the discipline of
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do as I say, and here's what happened when you don't, especially if it's not the fear of ducking.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: You don't say, oh, you're biting your body, contorting because they came in and walk you about the bed or call you coming out the shower.
• 6:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 6:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, that was a real thing.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Young, young, plucks.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have to be grateful.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: We didn't just get internet turned off.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: No.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I have children.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know what moves them.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right there.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right there.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, I learned they lesson about that not too long back because my oldest in the house I haven't
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't physically disciplined him in years.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just doesn't take that with him.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need a conversation that is, you're swear, you thrashed him with the right conversation.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't use words to try to hurt him.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just stern enough to like, I don't sugarcoat the consequence of this least it is.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm constantly like, man, you're going to be living under a bridge and I'm going to bring you chicken every Friday and I eat it with you know, I'll leave.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I have.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is your home.
• 7:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's life consequence conversations with them.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the little's I still have to get with them every now and then I want to year because the conversations they'll stack and add on until this falling on deaf ears now.
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now you have to be a bit more stern and then there's levels obviously.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You already know.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man, scientists too smart for his own good.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take over the world.
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's slipped into a fabricating phase.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, he was a little liar.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right quick.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, now we don't do this.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: No sir.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like this, this will get you thrashed.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like.
• 8:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you did something, there's a fifty-fifty chance that there may be a punishment associated with it or just a conversation.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's fifty-fifty.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you lie to me on a hundred percent, you get in the consequence.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Play the game with it.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So psychologists are now saying that
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: the more harsh or stern the consequence you're actually creating the lie because now they're not lying because their lie is self-preservation to avoid.
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to avoid this at all costs here.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm taking this to the grave if need be.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so fearful of that consequence.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I dare not even tell the truth because I don't know that fifty.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Those are fifty fifty.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: If the fifty has tails is horrible.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you think you let them off the hook by saying
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It may be a conversation that may be consequence.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, in their eyes, if they've seen the consequence and it's drastic or it's extreme every single time, I don't want any, I'm not even taking the risk of trying to see if the consequence is going to get the table because it's going to be so horrendous.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: So how did you, and I'm, like, this whole thing is taking my, I'm, I'm gonna try to stay on track, but the thoughts that are right through my head now is like, how do you, how do you establish the baseline of an appropriate consequence to where it has room to grow, and get more dire, you know, consequences get greater, but but also doesn't set a tone for them where
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: If the consequence is, you have to sit in the corner for fifteen minutes to start with how do you get to a consequence that really means something, right?
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then what you jump from that fifteen minutes to taking something away that's more valuable to them and they crash it out because I thought it was only going to be this fifteen minutes in the corner like how do you manage the growth because I get it if you go too hard too fast.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: You get the OK one.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got to calculate how to not find myself in this situation.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: It may not change my behavior as the child, right?
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: But whatever happens, I'm going, like you said, some preservation, I'm going to do whatever to avoid coming in the contact with this consequence.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I like, what do you?
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm thinking through me because I, I started wearing a band.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't, I didn't really, with my son, my oldest son.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: My youngest son would probably grow up and thank my oldest son.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: If he got in his sense.
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: If he got in his sense.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And probably my, well, the girl that I couldn't, anyway, but like I, I was over the top because
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: All I knew to me was, this is the way.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: It worked like, until my dad said, a beating is no longer for you because at this point, we got a square.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you there, me beating you, you are almost a man and having to take that.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: It got to change.
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's what it changed for me.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: But what I knew was the beating.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I did stuff, I won't, I won't scare the night being able to go outside for two days.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: It won't that.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't that.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I take my child real fast.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So severity is key.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I try to be mindful of the delivery because I told you don't get this snacks.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You snuck a snack.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to treat that as though somebody's life was on the line.
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 12:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I try to make sure the message is conveyed that listen.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you this for a reason.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know the reason, but in society, in my household, my household is this society.
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what you know at this stage and face in your life.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm trying to give you principles and the foundation that when you do get out in the world, you can mimic that thing.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now if society frowns upon you doing a certain thing, there's levels of severity to the consequence, right?
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even breaking the law of speeding ticket versus
• 12:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: DUI or J walking versus homicide.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I have to make sure that
• 12:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The term that they use is the punishment fist of crime, right?
• 12:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now if you take a snack now, I have to say, okay, well, you just, you just can't have any snacks for the next week.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that's drastic.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, man, I really didn't call you any bodily harm.
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Go fist, but I'm neglecting your desire for that thing because you overend those when you were not supposed to run.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, now when the severity's come, we're now there's a character flaw.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, son, if you go out in life and do this thing,
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not ready for the consequences that that'll bring.
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to heavily discourage that theft taken life.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know things of that nature.
• 13:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I see things coming along that way that you're always, you're trying to connive, you're trying to get over, you're trying to be a manipulator or a con.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have to heavily double down on those things.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that you can say, he really don't act like this.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if he's acting this way about this, I need to pay close attention to what this is because this is important.
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't ever want to do this again.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want him in that mode.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want him in that mode or I mean like this.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So whatever this is, so now that's the importance of the communication because again, our day versus don't ever do that again, trash trash trash.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now the discussion.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: The trash, if that's what it is, the discussion during the trash.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then there has to be a post.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to come back and say, listen, do you do you really truly understand what just happened?
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now don't just ask them and let allow them to say, yes, I do.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Tell me.
• 14:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: What was the importance of that?
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Where did you go wrong?
• 14:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why should you or should you not do that?
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And do you think you would do that again?
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to have that whole full circle of conversation beginning to end and you don't be angry in that moment now because now you're further discouraged in the kid or the child or the daughter of the son from having a candid genuine conversation about it.
• 14:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like honestly tell me how you feel about it.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think I overreact it?
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: For you doing this thing and they'll tell you.
• 14:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I really think that was over the top.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't see what the big deal is.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Perfect.
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because now, that's the gateway to a real-life conversation about it.
• 14:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad you told me that.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because there's some more unpacking I got to do with this problem.
• 14:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I did the PWC, the post-wip me conversation.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 14:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why I hated them coming up.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I appreciate them now because I can't say that I never was disciplined and didn't understand the nature of it.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whether I agree with it or not, it's the moment, it won't really happen to me, but my parents had enough maturity to connect the dots and everybody.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You said it's on about speeding and taking versus, whatever, speeding versus, taking a life.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: The slippery slope that we can create
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's coming in my mind because I go down these rabbit holes of YouTube.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I start watching the thing and then I start watching the thing, watching the thing, watching the thing.
• 15:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's glass, I'm gonna talk about I was watching documentaries on games, different areas.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now my thing is arrest videos, traffic videos.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Body cam videos.
• 15:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And what I see is, and this is not the discussion of improperly profiling, or was it a valid reason to pull it over?
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't get to that because I told you when I have a conversation about this on comply, but I want to bring in somebody that represents that, and had that conversation.
• 16:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: But what I see in the videos, I know the video doesn't represent all of everything that happens.
• 16:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: But consistently, no matter the race, age, or gender, there you go.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's this defiance of, you can't tell me what to do.
• 16:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't do that.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Proved that I did that.
• 16:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm looking at it through the lens of how I grew up.
• 16:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, how do you, again, not that they aren't corrupt officers and not that they aren't people that actually commit crimes because God forbid you actually get caught doing something that you did.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: But the slippery slope is all of the circumstances that have a conversation and they go into immediate buck mode.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm thinking back like,
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: We started a conversation about me seeing my parents' friends in public.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Those are the kinds of things that I'll be thinking that if I got pulled up, I'm like, now I'm one who's gonna ride by and see me.
• 17:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like that whole thought process or reverence for having respect for another generation where this your parents are not is gone.
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the consequences go from a citation to getting book, getting tays, getting all these things because
• 17:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: For whatever reason, there's not enough self-respect to manage how you act in the public.
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And again, I know I have to feel y'all come for.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know people have prior experiences that weren't that weren't favorable, correct?
• 17:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they had that in their catalog and they reacted a certain way, correct?
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: that could be valid, but the consequences of now are still the consequences of now.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can look back after what that person has been arrested three times, falsely, and got beat, got it, deal with that, that's an issue, systemic, got it.
• 17:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: In that moment, they created something based on that lens that still gave them unreasonable consequences in that moment.
• 18:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 18:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Those are the things that I, that I'm concerned about, like my child gets pulled over.
• 18:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, what if it's one of my child's them or my child is one of my children, them, you know what I'm saying?
• 18:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because again, it's, there's a way you act around me and then there's a way you act in public.
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Another part of the context, and I think this is true for you, I lived in the same place for the same city, in a long time.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you will go out and see the same people, my parents were in church, like they were active.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you would, if you go on the food line, I'm probably running the system, so my promise.
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Nail, my kids don't have that.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, because we moved away from what was normal for me or what was home for me and we moved around a lot.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they don't have that expectation.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, maybe now, would you, yeah, and got an avalanche, was catch my own is all the time.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 18:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 19:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I talked to her.
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think she's good, but they don't, they don't have that we're building that nail.
• 19:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: So again, without like the whole village thing,
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: For whatever reason you don't have that, I know that there's a difference between how you act around me and what you test about what I say it is right in public, because go through that.
• 19:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, and to tie the two together, the compliance and the law enforcement, the pool over the village.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Two things that are very important in detrimental, if you will, for them to understand, is in the moment, in the moment you're not equipped and you're not, you don't have the perceived authority to challenge what's going on.
• 19:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 19:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can be very right.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: You could absolutely win that battle, but lose that war.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Relax, let it roll, don't allow yourself to be violated or hand yourself over, but in both scenarios, if the village is chastizing you about something, it's not in your best interest to go back word or for word with this adult.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because now, if you were right, you're now wrong.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now whatever, when you're inside the consequences, I don't even want to hear what the problem was anymore, because now my total focus is on your reaction was so inappropriate that who cares what the original problem was, we'll get to that later.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: but you just turn a mold here into a mountain.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now, if you're being chastised, if you've pulled over and if you meet this person with aggression, you meet this person with this dang.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you don't even know, you didn't even answer the words.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: The person walked up to you and said, no, I pulled you up.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who is you all for?
• 20:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now you take that as your opportunity to go.
• 20:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Block city.
• 20:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm I look at it again.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm looking at the videos as a parent and I'm getting the fury with.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't I don't enjoy seeing them get pulled out of the car.
• 20:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: So children is not on his choice.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sing in taste.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I watched the entire day of it because I'm like, man, it was only this.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even if you don't get that's the other side of the phone.
• 21:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even if you do, you don't who knows.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, sir, why?
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're just doing welfare checks in the air.
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're going to make sure everybody's good.
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I thought the ball's going to give me footage.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's expired registrates.
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what it is, but let's spill out.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if it is, if it is, yeah, if it is, yeah, teachers, I've seen students go left on teachers like that, or any authority, other adults.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've been to sporting events and other adults.
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could be a staff of the school.
• 21:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could be the higher-ups that come out from the district.
• 21:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could just be another parent that simply trying to mold you young person to be a better person.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're sitting behind a row of adults.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Fifteen, twenty kids high school children at a sporting event in the stands.
• 21:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one adult has had enough of you guys just act as though these adults aren't sitting right here and turn around and say, hey,
• 22:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: You guys may want to be mindful of the adults that are sitting near or the little kids that are near that can hear you.
• 22:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you might not want your image to be what you're not.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe if your parents were here, I've seen those students go left about it.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the crazy thing is you can look at the whole crowd.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not all of them.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It'll be too hot heads.
• 22:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: think they supposed to rebut every word that comes out of this adult mouth about you wrong, but you want to defend yourself in this moment, but you'll see, you can look at the faces, some of the others, they're shamed and uncomfortable now because they, you just, the trigger word was, if your parents were here, what you do this.
• 22:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now that's the importance of that village.
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the village is your community because there's a certain standard that takes place in a community and you're hoping it could be a church event or whatever you're at.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: If the community, if there's someone with a like set of morals as to yours in the environment or in the crowd that just happens to just drop a nugget on these kids and say, hey guys, y'all a little edgy right now for the environment that you're in.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a nice way of saying.
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know you wouldn't act like that if your parents were here.
• 23:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a village move.
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And your kids need to understand like mold your children because I do.
• 23:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, man.
• 23:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: If an adult gives you some sensible guidance.
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not for you to say, I'm not doing that.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't know me.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know you.
• 23:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to listen to that.
• 23:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sound advice and sound advice.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Never mind the source.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you hear the words, if you close your eyes and that could possibly have been me or your mom saying that exact same thing, because you'll recognize it, you know it's right.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Don't you need to be paying attention to that.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the fact that you're just saying that don't make it true.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Even if you believe in it, like Stan would the traffic, you know, pull over us, you were doing a fifty four and a thirty five.
• 24:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, I wasn't proven.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is not the place.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a du-lu.
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not the place.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: But when you get programed, I think that program happens.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It didn't happen when they got in the car and went out that day.
• 24:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: That thing grew over time that that became the standard of how they react to either people in general or a certain set of people.
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: But those principles came from somewhere.
• 24:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you got to be mindful of them.
• 24:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it stand on that topic in terms of, you know, you said having similar principles.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like what's important?
• 24:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you choose friends now?
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because twenty years?
• 24:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, not.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, twenty twenty five years ago, me.
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: What probably say this is my friend, but I don't do this with them.
• 24:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is my friend what we only like in this context right here.
• 24:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know they yeah, I know they got some other stuff with them.
• 24:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but but it was single me not twenty twenty five my math.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, twenty five for sure.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then even about single in that turn, but in terms of people around me impacting my family.
• 25:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm impacting the family.
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm saying so and that says not not no wild stuff right.
• 25:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Wild stuff had his place, but that's not what we're talking about.
• 25:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it was
• 25:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because it was just me, and I was in the dog.
• 25:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was doing the dog thing, jurist allowed.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I actually became in the dog, I could say, this is my boy, but I know he got some stuff with him.
• 25:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just don't be with that stuff.
• 25:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Today, all that stuff matter, all of the whole of who you are, matter, even if it's a small percentage of your life that I wouldn't agree with in any circumstance.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: the rest of the good part of you, acquaintance.
• 25:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yo, what up?
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Keep it moving.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: But in terms of coming in my house and being around, like, how do you, how do you approach that?
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm the same on that to an extent, because again, there are, there are parts, right?
• 26:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's my motorcycle crew.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my hangout crew.
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my family.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's my brother's dad.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'll talk more about that.
• 26:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the brothers.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now that it's a matter, you can, you can leave your, you will leave your children around these people.
• 26:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let that be the right.
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: That that takes, you're saying like, people that I meet, like new people, how do they get to that space where like, how do we qualify the interaction like, like,
• 26:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: a level of interaction to where I've seen your authentic genuine viewpoint with your children, with your family, your value, because you can fake it for so long.
• 26:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So who you truly all comes out.
• 26:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because I've been in multiple different situations and scenarios, I've seen things that have aggravated you.
• 27:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: or ticked you off, or rubbed you this wrong way.
• 27:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the way you handled it, you steal was a human being.
• 27:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because now I know that you have compassion and you have patience, you have self-control.
• 27:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the biggest thing.
• 27:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Trust were that it's in self-control.
• 27:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you only know that by being around a person, like a person, you can't tell me you're the most loyal person.
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't tell me you're trustworthy.
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not allowed to tell me those things, but just said, I'm honest.
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Correct that I got it certainly right so now the interaction the level of interaction the quality listening to the conversation doing more listening than talking meaning The suggestions being made that people don't understand everything mean something every like if you like hey man, especially the meaningless things to them Yeah, yes, they like me.
• 27:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's just go do this like whoa I won't roll like that, but also
• 27:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I see you.
• 28:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 28:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I see you, character.
• 28:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got it.
• 28:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't judge you.
• 28:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: But again, we're talking about distinguishing between you in acquaintance or your family.
• 28:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't, I don't just bring in anybody around my house and my kids and family and my friends, my circle.
• 28:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like that circle.
• 28:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: people you've met that that that people have not seen or met.
• 28:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's by design.
• 28:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, so now when people come around, people know that like that's almost a stamp for my household because my wife is the same way.
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: They'd be like, like, they're, if certain friends invite us over, they're jokingly say, hey, it's the people of here.
• 28:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 28:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now they know.
• 28:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're not alien.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, we'll pull up, but my guard is a, you know, a two next day.
• 28:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't have me coming with my guard down.
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now perhaps the presentation of me and my family, we wouldn't have come that way.
• 28:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like my wife may come with.
• 29:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: with some pajama pants on the slide.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And my kids, they might have a pajamas on because we're just going to y'all crib.
• 29:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: But we get there.
• 29:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now there's three, four groups of people that are there that aren't in that circle.
• 29:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 29:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: We wouldn't have represented ourselves that way.
• 29:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that kind of thing.
• 29:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that's kind of off the, not even my kids wouldn't think that all of that matters and makes sense.
• 29:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was even a, I don't want to call it a riff.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: There was a misunderstanding.
• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: with a close friend before on that very thing.
• 29:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mind you after we did meet the people they were great, they were amazing, but you can't dump that.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: on us like that without a conversation or the interaction about it.
• 29:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's very sacred to my household of who has that level of exposure to my family, my house, my friends, my children.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means something.
• 29:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if I trust you and you violate that trust by bringing somebody in that has not been vetted and welcomed in, I question you now.
• 30:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just placed yourself on the outside of that circle with that person.
• 30:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Obviously you have the capacity to work your way back in.
• 30:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: but that was a severe transgression towards, in my opinion, I view it as such.
• 30:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You cross the line, man, I don't play like that.
• 30:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I think it's as your children get a certain age, and I don't know what the age is, it makes it even more imperative to be mindful of who you have them around.
• 30:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're teaching them what you accept.
• 30:28
  [SPEAKER_06]: Yes.
• 30:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: So even if you're a way in the house, but then you get around this group of people and you're a totally different way, or you're accepting of people that act that's totally different way,
• 30:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: How did they differentiate between that?
• 30:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that, you know, I like that, but you set right next to people that are absolutely like that.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that, you know, that kind of kind of helps them informs them about how they determine their friends.
• 30:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why not on that?
• 30:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the whole, like the, the example you gave about the kids being at the game, I would suggest that our kids would be the ones looking like that, you know, looking kind of like,
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is embarrassing that you're representing yourself, but that proximity can get you the same consequence.
• 31:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 31:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: But because if a group comes together, the group is together.
• 31:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 31:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to go.
• 31:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: If the group comes together and three of them start throwing hate makers at the people I went, the other twill of our fair game because that's a representation.
• 31:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I ain't even
• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no.
• 31:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: We got time to evaluate this.
• 31:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: The group has represented set it off.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: They are attacking us.
• 31:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I got to get you.
• 31:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody's fit again.
• 31:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 31:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it's those are the things I was having to conversation with one of my point is yesterday about anx.
• 31:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Release him.
• 31:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I can't even say the adults into the worries like me did a good job.
• 31:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we got to the point it was like, it's not so much about the job that was done in this house.
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 31:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know the jobs that were done in the other houses that built these humans.
• 32:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 32:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: That my humans are or around and what consequences they will bring to my children.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I get it this fair game to say what consequences my children bring to them.
• 32:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: But those are those are the things that concern me now.
• 32:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not like
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, but I keep saying, I, you know, my son will have no stories, I don't want to have no stories.
• 32:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want him to be in certain situations, but I don't want him to fall into a situation that might be able to manage the situation because he's never been in that situation.
• 32:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know that's a lot of double talk.
• 32:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's like, I don't, I don't want to send you into this.
• 32:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if, if you find out a characteristic about your friend, your friend that you hadn't seen before,
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: in that moment could create a different outcome of life for you.
• 32:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: True.
• 32:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you've vetted them to the best of your ability, but you know, your maturity level and things you able to evaluate being around in the half conversations.
• 33:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: But now you're all getting to the situation.
• 33:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And pure and pure.
• 33:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I've had.
• 33:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've had people jumping the car with me before.
• 33:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'll start with me before something popped off.
• 33:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now we got to get out of there.
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But they have a gun.
• 33:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: And typically the first thing they're going to do is take it.
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's on.
• 33:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be on under somebody to see in the, it's not on me.
• 33:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you are, and you operate in the vehicle is now right.
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: We've never been in this situation before.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I never would have thought this person would have done that.
• 33:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or maybe I knew.
• 33:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I go put it, you know, yeah.
• 33:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe I knew that this person had a gun, but I never thought we'd be in this situation.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: And now you're in this situation and the proximity of it.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now you got some real decisions to me.
• 34:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Snitch culture, you could say what you want about it.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: But in some environment, it has real consequences.
• 34:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I believe it there, right?
• 34:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that becomes a life decision, because now you got to, you got to be honorable to society, you're honorable to the thieves, now you got to move.
• 34:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that whole family, like those are the kinds of things that I think about like, man, what, what am I in my extension, the village that I've created for them to look up to?
• 34:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Did they see me respect, created in terms of
• 34:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: would they believe is right and life and how they should live?
• 34:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
• 34:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because based on that and give, I try to give visuals because I'm a visual learner.
• 34:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 34:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I talked to them about life is like a factory like
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: every every segment in person of your life and friendships as well relationships as well and nothing's of limits yeah it's like a factor tree you start you come up to a fork in the road you can go left and you go right every turn that you make there's another left right left right somewhere it's forks forks in the road forks in the road there's gonna be portions of of of our segments of that journey
• 35:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all could have started their point A and you made it all the way to the midpoint.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all twenty years in and now for whatever reason, a left and the right is made.
• 35:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you look up and now your passengers, your co-ports, if you will, that have been by your side for every turn of the way throughout this time.
• 35:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: y'all's not on the same page.
• 35:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: There may be turns later in life where y'all find yourselves back on the same path, or if you do not, you just do not.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not a tragic event or circumstance to where you have to be miserable about it.
• 35:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything happens for a reason.
• 35:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like whatever that journey is, something perhaps you're being protected from something, maybe they're being protected from something, or they can't
• 36:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: reach their full potential on this side of that tree and you can't on that side of the tree.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if you go your seven directions, now you both can be.
• 36:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now you're clinging to a thing that your hindrance.
• 36:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's an anchor.
• 36:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's holding you down from your max potential because you're still saying, come on, make this live with me.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't.
• 36:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: The right side is calling me right now.
• 36:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's just not in my best interest for that side to be associated with what I got going on right now, whatever that looks like.
• 36:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like some people had to, they were absolutely thriving in the single life world.
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're meant to be an individual.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I kid you not mean I've ridiculously close relative.
• 36:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's single to this day, but he moves in a way that I can I can afford to risk it all because if it falls apart, I sleep on somebody couch for three weeks and give my feet back on me.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna hit the ground running again.
• 36:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't now move that way too much on the line.
• 37:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Too many people outside of myself are responsible for my decisions.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The consequence falls on them as well as me.
• 37:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it has to be more guarded.
• 37:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: It has to be more strategic.
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't just gamble or roll the dice or jump out.
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a guy off this build and write quick and see how I turn out.
• 37:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: If not, go just crash with somebody.
• 37:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: If on the right.
• 37:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: What does it take for
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: What did it take for you to cut somebody off at this stage?
• 37:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because like you said, we've been rocking in twenty thirty.
• 37:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's the like third thirty years is nothing.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_06]: Right.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's for me.
• 37:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's fifteen sixteen.
• 37:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 37:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's the people that when they come to town that you meet them and that's another thing.
• 37:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: that is confirmation that you're part of my business.
• 37:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you have to meet these people.
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: These people have to meet you.
• 37:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 37:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because this is like, like, all of y'all are representation of what I value.
• 38:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 38:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So y'all got to meet, but.
• 38:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 38:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: When you get to those points of like life, whatever life through at forty, forty, five, I wouldn't, what does it take for you to cut somebody off?
• 38:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You jeopardize me or my family.
• 38:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You, you, you, you and crash out mode.
• 38:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just don't mean me any good.
• 38:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like everything is all your movements are about yourself.
• 38:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're looking at me opportunistically.
• 38:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If every conversation we have, it's strictly about context, connections, money, and business, and that's a turn off of me.
• 38:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I don't criticize people that are that way, but if you're that way, like, son of a guy's of being right for you.
• 38:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, we friends, we friends, man, this my brother, this my brother.
• 38:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, what's a little more we can do to get this money?
• 38:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's have progressive conversations about things, but if it's man, don't you know somebody that
• 39:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And don't you guys have a, don't you?
• 39:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, the last ten times in a row that you've talked to me.
• 39:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Only been about this.
• 39:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not, it's never about, hey, what's up brother, how you doing?
• 39:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: How's the family?
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: How's the kids?
• 39:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 39:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't name my children.
• 39:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you can't name my children by name, what are we talking about?
• 39:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Quick, quick aside.
• 39:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: One of the headlines of this week is the Nick Cannon could name all the skits.
• 39:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, come on.
• 39:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: He was smarter.
• 39:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that you have it.
• 39:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: So another conversation.
• 39:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 39:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So and things get weird.
• 39:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I have our kids not, man.
• 39:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're we're very transparent on this on the show.
• 39:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have lifelong friendships with brothers that I feel like I'm going to rough paths with a couple of them right now.
• 39:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: No disdain.
• 39:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're not into it or had any disagreements.
• 39:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just dry.
• 39:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's very, very dry.
• 39:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Energy.
• 40:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's hard because you look at, you know how you really know a person.
• 40:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because you know a person sometimes, sometimes the downside of really knowing a person is that you really know a person.
• 40:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you cannot, I can't pull the wall over anybody's eyes and they can't do it to me.
• 40:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now if I know that and
• 40:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: This platform is an example, right?
• 40:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have the shows popping in pushing and total strangers, total strangers, man, walk up in stores.
• 40:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I, I, I told you about the brother that I mentioned, just walked up and he just kept looking.
• 40:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sweet.
• 40:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So come up and tell me who you, man, you want to show that I watched all the time.
• 40:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means a lot here.
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I enjoy that.
• 40:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: But then you, you have
• 40:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to shoot this look.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't see it.
• 40:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had a mutual friend that did like a. He said, we mean, you weak.
• 41:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, he was in the community in the front.
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this other friend have a mutual friend.
• 41:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's closer to the guy than I am.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say he did a cupcake bake sale.
• 41:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the guy was like, man, I got to see it is fifty cupcakes.
• 41:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's other brothers like you can do it man.
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
• 41:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't do this one.
• 41:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I help you man.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna put the word out.
• 41:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna spread the word.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna create this and use my influence to spread the word and tell people that come by a cupcake.
• 41:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Come by a cupcake.
• 41:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You haven't said to me one time.
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like what's up with the platform man?
• 41:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: What we can do to push this thing or grow this thing.
• 41:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
• 41:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't hold a grudge about that.
• 41:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But me as a human being, I would be lying if I sat here and said that, that don't look a certain way.
• 41:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't expect friends and family to support.
• 41:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: But it sure does hit differently when they do not.
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because ninety percent of them do, they call, text, watch, support, like, share, subscribe.
• 42:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: They do all of these things.
• 42:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: They'll call me and say, man, I saw the last episode.
• 42:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: They'll interact and gauge.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: My friendship is not based on you have to do that.
• 42:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But if we're the friends family brothers that we claim we are, and for us to have been on this platform two plus years, easily three, you, yeah, it's four of me.
• 42:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Four for you.
• 42:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say two to three for you.
• 42:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you haven't said a word once, my brother.
• 42:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't sit quite well.
• 42:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: with me buying into the, my life on the line for you, brother.
• 42:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love you to the point where the word brothers, we're family, we're, it don't sit right.
• 42:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: It don't hit the same now because, yeah, they are, again, it's not a attack.
• 42:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to.
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can never say a word about it and we're, we're, friendship is intact.
• 43:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let me cut in, but so if that's not the person, if that's not who you are,
• 43:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't be there to cross the board.
• 43:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 43:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: There you go.
• 43:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you picking and choosing.
• 43:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 43:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You look left.
• 43:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You look right.
• 43:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm on the right, but you're on the left when you got this when this part of you.
• 43:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is isn't mold.
• 43:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Full support, full steam.
• 43:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Rock with my boy.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 43:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 43:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: that that are, I don't want to say they're not important.
• 43:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to admit, those things are important to these guys and these people.
• 43:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so putting this should be, let me, so we transparent.
• 43:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm already down the petty slope.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: The petty part of me says, if that's you, I'm not cutting you off.
• 43:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: No.
• 43:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: I categorize you different.
• 44:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But you don't get to ask me about it when you see me in person.
• 44:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: How you're so doing?
• 44:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: How is my show doing?
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Tell me.
• 44:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: What did you think about it?
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: That part.
• 44:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I get it.
• 44:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 44:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is weird.
• 44:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I get in my, I salute my guys.
• 44:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Several, several show, my support.
• 44:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Consistently in a way.
• 44:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 44:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Consistently in a way.
• 44:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So the majority's saying, like, I'm talking about the majority.
• 44:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man, Jay Black, hey, boy, what is here?
• 44:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: This, this, this, this and interacting and not just throwing it, they coming and repeating that and I, I almost have to go back and be like, wait, what's that?
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
• 44:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's that?
• 44:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because they're in tune and it's hitting like that and I enjoy that.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mind it like I say, we don't.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's another day on another show.
• 44:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 44:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's funny that that came up because I was.
• 44:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 44:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 44:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Those martial artists this morning.
• 44:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 44:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, it's weird.
• 45:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's weird.
• 45:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 45:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Anyhow, good, good, good.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sweet spot all the time.
• 45:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I guess the closing thoughts is like your village is important.
• 45:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Village is important.
• 45:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think my village, the qualifier for me is I have to be able to trust you to discipline my child, just tying it to what the so-called topic was.
• 45:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 45:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: For me to call you part of my business, plenty of people I know.
• 45:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 45:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Plenty of people I know.
• 45:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Plenty.
• 45:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I say what's up.
• 45:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we, you know, we cross paths or intentionally unintentionally.
• 45:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's all good.
• 45:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 45:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm talking about
• 45:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I know you're in a way, you know me in a way.
• 45:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have an expectation of much.
• 45:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 45:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 45:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, I'm not saying we have a mutual responsibility, but you know, John's on represented.
• 45:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Johnson's don't wrap it up.
• 45:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: That ain't day in on it immediately.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: See it, catch it, stop it and take it for us and need to go because I know who you are and what you stand for.
• 45:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 45:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do you all got to build this?
• 45:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you made it this far into the episode, comment, comment what it takes for people to be in your business.
• 46:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Our village is important.
• 46:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can somebody discipline you to us?
• 46:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why do we dig into?
• 46:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because we're in this quasi generation of
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Just because we're the same age, I don't know that I don't know that I can have an expectation that you were raised the same way.
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 46:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 46:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like it's like I know people who have
• 46:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: parents that are much younger than my parents.
• 46:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they were getting their more brother and sister.
• 46:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Big sister with their parents because they were growing up in the same time.
• 46:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it like it like for that and I'm not saying that that's unique to this generation, but I'm like those types of things.
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll become clear to me like, oh, okay.
• 46:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: That makes more sense now.
• 46:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: While we're not aligned in this part of life because your reference was much different than mine.
• 47:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you have more leniency or maybe that kind of thing.
• 47:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, we talking about the school, the school example.
• 47:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I had one of the educators called Veil.
• 47:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Dangerfield was like, he was talking about what happens in class.
• 47:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's like the parents come in on tend to defend their child.
• 47:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
• 47:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: If my parents had to come to the school, it was already because of me, even if it ain't.
• 47:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because if it was somebody else last night, they wouldn't be called the my parents.
• 47:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: So hi, ever.
• 47:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: How how I closed an episode.
• 47:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Cloning is that.
• 47:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's on the field trip one time.
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I went to a small school, private schools when I was younger because my parents thought that was important.
• 47:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not because they had resources, we actually clean one of the schools to offset my school costs.
• 47:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right, right, for reference.
• 47:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 47:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is not so small.
• 47:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it was a lot of, uh, it wasn't a lot of.
• 47:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Blacks in this, I think it was actually like, included my sister, I think we were two of the team.
• 48:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: in a school of maybe two hundred or something like that.
• 48:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And this is seven through twelve.
• 48:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Great.
• 48:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: The school is broken up like that.
• 48:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to filter my partner at the time.
• 48:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can tell me that in the bottom.
• 48:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I forget his name now.
• 48:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: So he won't.
• 48:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: He got see was expendable in the grand scheme of life.
• 48:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're on this filter and we're on the bus.
• 48:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you know, there's always an interest in a young lady.
• 48:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
• 48:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to find it.
• 48:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, if you don't look like you, you will find it correct.
• 48:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: My experience.
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 48:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that was this girl of interest.
• 48:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And she won the seventh grade.
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So what I don't know what you can.
• 48:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: What responsibility does she have to actually be interested in anybody.
• 48:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: But
• 48:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: We went to lunch, came back out on the bus, and we got on the bus before her.
• 48:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: He, and I'm exposing the demographic down there and was there.
• 49:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: He hocks a luggie.
• 49:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how many of your brothers say that.
• 49:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: He hocks a luggie.
• 49:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Spits on her cup.
• 49:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, shakes it up, puts it down.
• 49:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I see it.
• 49:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like man.
• 49:13
  [UNKNOWN]: Wow.
• 49:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 49:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: She drinks it.
• 49:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Somehow it became
• 49:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: evident that he did.
• 49:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if he, if he jokingly said, I forget how I got to the actual admission of guilt, right?
• 49:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was just sitting with him.
• 49:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I saw and didn't say, you see something say, so I saw it didn't say.
• 49:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I got in trouble before.
• 49:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like it, it all matters.
• 49:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, man.
• 49:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: It all matters.
• 49:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: But again, just, you know, picking friends that that was specifically very nasty.
• 49:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: and I apologize to her.
• 49:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: She was actually very... At the time.
• 49:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, I don't know her life's not right now, but uh... Yeah.
• 49:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 49:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: That was a... A side.
• 50:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe how?
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Um... Pick your friends.
• 50:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Pick your friends.
• 50:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your children are watching.
• 50:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, I hope people have a village.
• 50:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm grateful for my... Like, moving to this house.
• 50:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that we would still be in Texas and we didn't move here.
• 50:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, I come across y'all and like...
• 50:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if you say that I mean a lot because it was either here or I'm I'm always blanking the place the neighborhood and and Fort Worth the school district because that's what we were looking at yeah like Mansfield or this other one there and boy I tell you I was heartbroken that we didn't get the first create we were pursuing out there but the more I thought about I was laughing right then I don't see none of us
• 50:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: None of us in his pockets.
• 50:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not a qualified, and it got to be, but I didn't see none of us.
• 50:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, man, imagine having this reference of life to this point.
• 50:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, nah, as soon as the, as soon as the animal come and tell you, we're,
• 50:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's no black go.
• 50:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: But in anyhow, man, what clothes don't you got wrong?
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's it being there.
• 51:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It always goes back to two things, man, being mindful and atwood costs.
• 51:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 51:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: No matter what it is, if you really think about it and look at it and dissect it, one of those two things will surface.
• 51:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's what we got.
• 51:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can't part without saying this, um, this sounds when you like process of sauteing effective parenting is a physical book.
• 51:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is available for order link is in whatever
• 51:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Description is associated with app or YouTube have you watching it?
• 51:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: My wife's book, Chocolate Press is all you want.
• 51:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're watching, you see the overlay now.
• 51:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're listening, very, very well written.
• 51:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: There were illustrated children's book for young women, young scholars of color.
• 51:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would say age is five, fifteen.
• 51:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or you can read to your grandma.
• 51:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, your grandma can really take a great, do you know, to you, to you, to you, to you.
• 51:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think that works out.
• 51:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 51:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Um, otherwise, man, um, that's gonna do it for this episode.
• 51:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: We appreciate you guys.
• 51:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: God bless you, peace.