Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 4: The Role of the Therapist in CCPT

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Episode 4: The Role of the Therapist in CCPT · The Play Therapy Circle

• 0:00
  Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
• 0:04
  Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
• 0:07
  informational and educational purposes only.
• 0:10
  It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
• 0:14
  create a client therapist relationship.
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  All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
• 0:21
  been de identified to protect privacy.
• 0:24
  If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
• 0:27
  qualified mental health professional in your area.
• 0:33
  Hi, and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
• 0:38
  I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
• 0:42
  therapy trainer. And I'm.
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  So grateful you're here. This podcast is a space for
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  Thoughtful, Soulful. Conversations about child
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  centred therapy, play based work and what it means to show up
• 0:55
  with presence and compassion, both for our clients and for
• 0:59
  ourselves. Whether you're a seasoned play
• 1:01
  therapist, a student just starting out, or someone deeply
• 1:06
  passionate about working with children.
• 1:08
  You belong here. Hi everyone, and welcome back to
• 1:14
  the Play Therapy Circle. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
• 1:18
  and I am so glad you are here. Gosh, it is late.
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  I feel like I said that to you guys.
• 1:25
  The last episode. I'm not going to lie, this is
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  recording at a very late time of the day.
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  I actually did a bit of a Day in the Life vlog for our social
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  media today and watching it back, I was like, gosh, I do a
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  lot in a day. Like it's not until you take
• 1:42
  that helicopter view that you're like, gosh, things are busy at
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  the moment. So if you're feeling busy, if
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  you're feeling like your day goes so fast and you have no
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  idea where the time went, I see you.
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  I see you. I definitely understand that.
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  So welcome back. We are at episode 4.
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  Can I just say the people that have reached out and given such
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  wonderful feedback on how valuable you have found this
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  podcast so far is so amazing. It just makes my heart so happy.
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  This is really a passion project around getting child centre play
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  therapy out in another format being podcasts, and I'm so glad
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  that you guys are enjoying it and I hope that this episode is
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  another good one for you guys. So what are we talking about
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  today in episode 4, you ask? We are going to talk about the
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  role of the therapist in child centre play therapy.
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  And I think for myself, 10 years down the line in practise, I
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  think that this is actually one of the most, if not the most
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  important element of the work we do as child centre play
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  therapist in the playroom. I don't think you can truly be
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  authentic as a play therapist if you don't bring your sense of
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  self, your sense of congruence. And we're going to talk about
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  those key tenants of child centre play therapy in a second.
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  But that importance of bringing yourself into the playroom to
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  make sure that you are able to foster a supportive space for
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  children to be able to really talk about some of the most
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  difficult things, either through their experiences or their
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  feelings that they have been through.
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  They need to feel that sense of safety and trust to do that.
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  So I guess if you're a beginning play therapist, if I was talking
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  to my beginning self in this profession, I think I would tell
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  myself, and I share with you guys as beginning play
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  therapist, listening along, maybe one of the things that I
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  wished I'd done early in my career was give myself
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  permission to take things slowly and to remind myself that my
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  presence in the playroom is so reparative for children.
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  And I think that's something that we don't in our beginning
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  phases of our careers think about.
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  But ten years down the line, I really am reflecting on that a
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  lot more because obviously as you go through and you gain that
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  experience seeing clients, I like to think of it as building
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  that memory bank or that catalogue of experiences that we
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  can relate back to when we're thinking about those clients.
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  Or as my supervisor, Doctor Jody Mullen, shout out to you.
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  Jody would often say to me that her clients are her teachers.
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  And I might have mentioned that in a previous podcast already.
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  But I really resonate with that because I think every child that
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  comes into the playroom teaches us something about our practise,
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  about ourselves and that reparative aspect that happens
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  in that interaction with another and especially when it happens
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  between a therapist and a client.
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  So it's so important and I want to give you guys that permission
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  to take that pressure off a little bit to get those basic
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  beginning level skills of CCPT. They're so important, right?
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  But I also want to encourage you to consider what you bring in
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  terms of your connection and your work to align yourself with
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  those tenants of CCPT, not just the skills.
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  So those tenants, as those of you who have studied Child
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  Senate Play Therapy would know well, is empathy, congruence and
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  unconditional positive regard. And certainly when I'm
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  connecting with supervisees, that's also a big component of
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  the reflections that I have with them is how are we aligning with
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  those values and those tenants of CCPT?
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  Because I think they have such a healing aspect to the work that
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  we do. And it is remiss of us as CCPT
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  practitioners if we lose sight of that as well.
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  So I encourage you guys to hold that in mind every time you walk
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  into a playroom with a client to start your session.
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  How am I showing through my verbal communication, my non
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  verbal communication, my presence, those really important
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  elements of child centre play therapy being empathy,
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  congruence and unconditional positive regard.
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  So I want to talk a little bit about each of them now because I
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  think that sometimes we can read them in a textbook or we can be
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  taught those tenants and I guess not necessarily understand how
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  they translate into practise. And I think that one of the ways
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  that I have conceptualised the first one being unconditional
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  positive regard. I think that often times, again,
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  kids that we work with, clients that we work with in the
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  playroom are so incredible in showing us the world of a child
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  and their experiences and how they understand life and
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  constantly teach us along the way.
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  So I think that unconditional positive regard comes to mind,
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  especially when you have clients that you don't necessarily
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  connect with in the beginning. I think that is something that
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  isn't necessarily talked about either.
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  But again, I want to give you guys permission out there
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  practising in the space. If you are struggling in the
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  beginning sessions to connect with a client, my message to you
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  is keep going because I think that often times there's an
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  element of what that child brings to the playroom that is
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  so important for our our own professional development
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  learning. And some of the clients that
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  I've struggled with the most in immediately connecting with have
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  been the clients that have taught me the most as well in
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  terms of my practise. So I think that in the
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  beginning, if you have a client where they present pretty much
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  from the beginning with some pretty high levels of physical
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  aggression or aggression towards you or cheating, I guess in
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  terms of rules in the games they're playing.
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  There's so many ways that kids present in that way where it
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  challenges our unconditional positive regard.
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  I want to give you that reassurance that it it is one of
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  those situations most of the time.
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  And I obviously can't talk to every client example, but only
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  to my experience. And what I've learned is by
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  trusting the process. And we talk about that all the
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  time in child centre play therapy.
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  We can absolutely doubt ourselves.
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  We can doubt the process, we can doubt our ability to support a
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  child, we can doubt whether the child is going to make a lot of
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  gains or progress in play therapy.
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  And often times I find when that doubt creeps in is when we lean
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  back into some of those other skills we've learned other than
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  CCPT. And I think that is such a
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  incredible teaching moment for us if we take that time,
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  especially in, say, clinical supervision, to really reflect
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  on what's happening in that space, What is coming up for you
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  and how can you have those tenants of CCPT, including
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  unconditional positive regard moving forward with that client?
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  So I always see it as a room for growth.
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  I think children are always, as I said, teaching us things about
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  our own practise. And I welcome that opportunity
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  to continue to expand and grow in my skill set.
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  And Ioffer that invitation to each of you listening as well.
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  I think that then that tenant ties in with the second one
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  being congruence. So again, if we are feeling
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  tested, if we are feeling challenged as play therapist in
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  the playroom, I think that ability for us to be congruent
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  is often really tough. And when I say congruent, what I
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  mean by that is when we connect with a child, when we walk into
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  the playroom and we welcome them back and we're there to support
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  them to begin their session. It is so important for us to be
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  able to have a space where we're clear of mind, we're present,
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  we're listening both to the verbal and non verbal
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  communication of the child. And we're readily emotionally,
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  mentally, physically available to that child to provide that
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  support in that therapy session, whether it's 30 minutes, 45
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  minutes, 50 minutes, an hour for that time that we're in the
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  playroom with the child truly being ourselves, being
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  authentic. I lean into that a lot.
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  And I think as the years have gone by, I think authenticity,
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  especially with our older population of children that we
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  work with is absolutely essential children.
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  And This is why I love working with kids.
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  And I don't know if this is the same for you, but certainly for
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  me, I find working with kids, they are clever.
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  They're so really perceptive and able to pick up on nuances and
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  non verbal communication along the way and really can tell
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  quickly if you are somebody that will hold the space and be able
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  to provide safety and trust in that therapeutic relationship.
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  I really feel like that's one of the incredible things about kids
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  is they don't need a philtre, but they also have an uncanny
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  knack of knowing if you're not being authentic.
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  So again, bring your whole self to the playroom.
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  That's really important. There's a difference between
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  doing that though, and say, becoming overwhelmed or consumed
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  by our own needs in the playroom.
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  And that's a very different scenario because in CCPT, we
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  hold that space for the child. But I think that if you can
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  bring your congruent self, your authentic self into the
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  playroom, that's so important and it goes such a long way.
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  And I really was reminded of that a few times this week in
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  the playroom and with the kids that I have connected with.
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  The importance of silences, guys, that's a hard one, right?
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  To see it in the uncomfortable. I lean so heavily these days
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  into psychodynamic psychotherapy, so I love
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  silences, but it might not be your jam, right?
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  So I recognise that is difficult for some of our colleagues and
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  folk in the Circle family to do, and that's OK.
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  We're all bringing our unique selves to the playroom.
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  But I think if we are able to centre ourselves and ground
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  ourselves so that we can be that congruent self in the playroom,
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  that's super important. For those of you who've seen a
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  picture of my playrooms, I often share them say our our socials
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  page. And one of the things that I
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  have loved over the years having is a pink rug in my playroom.
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  And I don't think that comes as any surprise when my logo is a
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  pink glasses because that's my vibe.
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  But I find that rug so helpful in being able to sit at the
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  beginning of the session because I always sit on the floor.
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  And I have incredible teachers in the past who have shown me
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  the importance of having that beginning entry ritual or
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  routine. So one of those things is that I
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  sit and really put my hands on the ground, ground myself in
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  that rug to help me be able to focus and to be able to connect
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  with the child. So I encourage you to think
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  about the ways that you enter the playroom, how you are able
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  then to connect yourself to this space so that you feel you can
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  be authentic and congruent because it's also really
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  important. And we're going to spend an
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  episode talking about self care and oh God, I didn't even like
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  that word, self care. We're going to look at taking
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  care of you in the playroom in terms of your supports outside
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  of CCPT. So we'll talk about that over
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  the course of the podcast. But I guess that when we come
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  into that space, being able to be present is so important.
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  So I'd love you to have a think about the ways that you enter
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  the playroom and connect so you can hold that tenant dear.
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  The last one we talk about is empathy, and I think that it's a
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  really great tenant in terms of so much of the work that we do
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  as CCPT practitioners in the playroom.
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  And I'm always reminded when I'm thinking of the definition of
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  empathy. And I don't know if this rings
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  true for anyone else listening, but there is an incredible short
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  cartoon info video, I guess is what you call it, on empathy
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  versus sympathy by Doctor Brené Brown.
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  I highly recommend. It's on YouTube.
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  It's only a couple of minutes long, but I highly recommend it
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  because one of the main kind of messages she talks about in that
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  video is the idea of sympathy versus empathy.
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  And sympathy trying to relate to an experience of your own.
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  Whereas empathy being more about recognising and validating
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  what's happening for that person in front of you who is sharing
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  their story and really reflecting as she says, And I'm
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  not going to get it exactly right, but something along the
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  lines of I don't know what to say, but I'm just so glad you
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  told me. And I think that if we can
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  convey that in our non verbal and verbal communication in the
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  playroom, obviously using our skills of CCPT to do that, I
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  think that's incredibly powerful.
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  And I often say to supervisees and reflect that oftentimes for
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  the children that we work with, they don't necessarily have a
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  space like that in any other part of their life in any given
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  week. So we literally provide this
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  space for kids to be able to process those big emotions, to
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  have them held, to have them validated, to have them seen and
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  to feel that sense of empathy from us.
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  Gary Landreth talks about his famous line around I hear you, I
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  see you, I understand IKEA as those extensions of those
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  tenants. And I truly believe in every
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  reflection that we have in the playroom that we hold that
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  statement really dear, I hear you, I see you, I understand and
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  I care. I think that's really powerful
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  for a lot of the kids that we work with who maybe haven't
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  necessarily experienced that in other settings.
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  And what an incredible gift that child and us as the play
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  therapist share in that moment when we get to do that with
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  children. So those tenants are incredibly
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  important and I think really form the backbone of child
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  centre play therapy, which is the whole point of us going
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  through each of these episodes together and unpacking every
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  aspect of CCPT because there's so much there, right?
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  But I think one of the messages that I really wanted to convey
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  around this topic and what I love the most about CCPD, I love
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  so much about it, right? But one of the things I love is
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  the fact that it is non directive.
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  And I think that makes us a unique approach to engaging with
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  kids and often requires education of community members
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  and stakeholders to understand how play therapy works and
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  specifically child centre play therapy.
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  But I have truly seen over the last 10 years working with so
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  many different kids that if we allow the child to take the
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  lead, truly take the lead in terms of that agenda of what
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  they need to talk about, they will heal through play.
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  And it is just so powerful. Like, where else?
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  Yeah, where else can kids do that and really feel that
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  healing capacity? It's incredible work and it's
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  such a privilege and an honour. So I think that one of the
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  byproducts or one of the things that I have seen really grow in
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  terms of especially my practise when I'm applying those
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  principles and tenants of CCPT around congruence, empathy and
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  unconditional positive regard is that I find it then fosters a
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  space for emotional regulation for patients, for children's
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  emotions to be held in the space to provide a reflective capacity
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  and really give us a something to lean back on and to really
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  find our grounding in when it becomes really challenging or
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  uncertain in the playroom. If we truly believe in these
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  tenants and we truly espouse to CCPT, we hold dear and hold at
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  our core our unwavering belief in the child that they are the
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  experts. They know what they need to talk
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  about and they know how to do it in their time.
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  And I think that's often one of the biggest challenges is that
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  time constraint. And we know for various reasons
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  those time constraints can sometimes arise and become
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  present. But ultimately, kids are on
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  their own schedule time. And isn't that incredible that
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  they know how much time they need to be in the playroom and
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  the work that they need to do and how long that's going to
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  take? And the sooner we listen to
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  that, the easier it becomes. It truly.
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  And I think it's one of those things where if you are more
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  used to more directive work or having more of a prescription to
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  your sessions, it truly is a moment where you choose to
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  release that and trust in the child and trust in what they
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  need to show us and tell us. And as soon as you give that
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  pressure off yourself, like I remember in the early days
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  realising that I didn't need to be the expert.
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  I didn't need to have all the answers.
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  I didn't need to have a bunch of handout sheets to go through
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  with the child. In this session.
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  They are coming with what they need to talk about.
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  And my job is to hold that space to provide that reflection for
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  them and help them to heal through play.
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  How cool is that? So cool you guys.
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  So I think when we have that innate belief in children's
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  capacity for growth and self direction, we then move away
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  from problem solving questions and those more directive
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  approaches. We really are able to offer a
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  space for kids where they can grow and heal and move three
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  through things at their pace. So I want to give you a couple
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  of takeaways, you guys, before I pose my question to you for the
• 19:57
  week because it's good to have a question.
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  I want to thank you guys for checking out our socials.
• 20:03
  Before I go to the takeaways, we have our Instagram account at
• 20:08
  the Play Therapy Circle podcast, so please check us out.
• 20:12
  We have started posting a weekly question related to our episode,
• 20:15
  so I would love you guys to share your reflections on those
• 20:18
  posts each week. We would love to connect with
• 20:20
  our Circle fans, so that would be great.
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  But I want to emphasise some of those key messages for those of
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  you beginning out in the space or even if you've been working
• 20:29
  for some time and you feel like you just need that reminder.
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  That's what I'm here for. That's what this podcast is all
• 20:36
  about. So you're welcome.
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  You're welcome. So what are those takeaways,
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  guys? The therapist way of being is
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  central to CCPT. When we talk about way of being,
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  it's about authenticity, our congruence, us being present in
• 20:53
  the playroom and facilitating that space for growth.
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  So cool. Safety, trust and attunement
• 20:59
  comes through presence, not technique.
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  I want to say that again. Safety, trust and attunement
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  emerge through presence, not technique.
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  So really I want you guys to be able to embrace who you are and
• 21:19
  what you bring to the playroom in terms of your presence to
• 21:23
  help support the clients that you work with because it's so
• 21:25
  important. The therapeutic process is and
• 21:29
  progress in CCPT is relational, not linear.
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  So if you are feeling that pressure around those time
• 21:38
  constraints around the expectations from stakeholders,
• 21:41
  absolutely check in with your clinical supervisor and work
• 21:45
  through those strategies and ideas so that you can stay
• 21:48
  congruent with CCPT. See what I did there?
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  I bet you guys like that. Connecting the dots, guys, Self
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  awareness and that kind of links into my last point.
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  Self awareness and supervision are so important for really
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  staying true to the CCPT modality.
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  And I feel like 10 years down the line, that absolutely
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  without a doubt has been my journey as well.
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  Maintaining that self reflection, maintaining that
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  regular supervision, connecting with like minded practitioners
• 22:21
  in the space, connecting with your play therapy circle fam,
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  that's who we are. We're CCPT practitioners and we
• 22:28
  welcome you into the space. I think being able to connect
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  with what makes sense for you and what is most aligned for you
• 22:37
  will help you find your journey and will help you find where
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  you're going to go and what you want to do.
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  So I think that I always say in everyone that I connect with,
• 22:47
  especially as my supervisors, I will say to them, this didn't
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  happen by chance. We have connected because
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  there's something around CCPT that connects deeply for both of
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  us. And that's why we're here and
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  that's why you're listening right now because there's
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  something about CCPT that resonates for you.
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  So I want that to be our question for the week, you guys
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  and I so would love to hear from you.
• 23:12
  So please jump onto our socials page, Instagram at Playtherapy
• 23:17
  Circle podcast and tell me what is it that most alliance?
• 23:21
  What is it about CCPT that most alliance or resonates for you?
• 23:26
  And I feel like I've got so many.
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  So I definitely won't put all my answers because there won't be
• 23:32
  enough room. But I would love to hear from
• 23:34
  you guys. What is it about CCPT that
• 23:37
  resonates for you in alliance with you and what keeps you
• 23:41
  going? What keeps you having that
• 23:44
  passion for this space? Because I know for me it's, it's
• 23:48
  everything. It's all about that
• 23:51
  relationship, meeting and working with families,
• 23:55
  connecting with Co workers and colleagues in this space and
• 24:00
  just truly feeling like I am doing the work I was meant to do
• 24:04
  here in this life. And so I'm so grateful.
• 24:06
  And that's why I'm so grateful that you stuck around and
• 24:10
  listened to this entire episode because we are 23 minutes in,
• 24:13
  you guys. And my plan was 10, so anyone
• 24:16
  who knows me well knows that is generally what happens.
• 24:20
  So I want to thank you for sticking around, Thanks for
• 24:22
  listening, and thanks for being here because you being here
• 24:26
  means so much. I'm hopeful that you found this
• 24:29
  useful and helpful in your work. And we will drop in another
• 24:33
  episode next Friday. We're here every week on a
• 24:36
  Friday. Not going to lie, it's late at
• 24:38
  night, so I've recorded this late, but I usually get that
• 24:43
  deadline by Friday. So thanks so much for being
• 24:47
  here. Thanks so much for listening and
• 24:49
  I'll catch you again next time. Thank you so much for being here
• 24:55
  for another episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
• 24:59
  If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
• 25:02
  follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
• 25:05
  short review. It really helps others find our
• 25:08
  circle. And if you have a topic or
• 25:11
  question, you'd. Love me to explore.
• 25:13
  I'd love to hear from you. This.
• 25:15
  Space is for you and I want it to feel like a conversation.
• 25:20
  Until next time, take care of yourself and remember you.
• 25:24
  Belong here.