Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / Managing a Boss Who Changes the Rules Mid-Project
Transcript
- Lucas: So, you're three weeks into a project, you've got a clear brief, the first deliverables are looking good, and then your boss calls you in on a Thursday afternoon and says, actually, we need to rethink this. Luna: Oh, the classic pivot. And not the productive kind. Lucas: Exactly. And this is not about a real change in the market or new data. This is the boss who changes the rules because they got a new idea, or they read something, or they just got back from a conference. And suddenly the entire project is different. Luna: I had a boss like that. We were launching a new product line, and the creative direction changed three times in two weeks. We spent more time redoing the work than actually doing it. Lucas: That's a nightmare. And it's a specific problem that I think we haven't really dug into on this show. We've talked about moving goalposts, but this is a little different. This is when the rules themselves change, not just the target. Luna: So what's the difference? Isn't moving the goalposts kind of the same thing? Lucas: I think the difference is subtle but important. Moving the goalposts is when the finish line moves further away. Changing the rules mid-project is when the game itself changes. The scoring system, the playing field, the number of players. So you might be hitting your goals, and then suddenly the goals don't matter because the whole thing is different. Luna: So it's less about the target and more about the entire approach. Lucas: Right. And that's why it's so frustrating. Because you can't just work harder. You have to completely rethink what you're doing. And that's a huge drain on your time, your energy, and your morale. Luna: And it's not just the work. It's the feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, because the standard is always changing. Lucas: Yeah, and that's where it starts to affect your confidence. You begin to doubt yourself, even when you know you're doing good work. And that's a dangerous place to be. Luna: So how do you handle it? Because you can't just tell your boss, stop changing your mind. Lucas: Well, the first thing is to recognize why it's happening. Because a lot of the time, the boss isn't doing it out of malice. They're insecure, or they're under pressure from their own boss, or they're just not organized. Luna: So it's not always about you. Lucas: Right. It's often about them. And once you understand that, it's a lot easier to respond strategically instead of emotionally. Luna: Okay, so let's say I have this boss who just changed the entire direction of my project. What's the first move? Lucas: The first move is to ask a question. Not 'why are you doing this?' but 'help me understand what's driving this change.' Because you want to get at the root. Is it a new client request? Is it a new strategy from above? Is it just a whim? Luna: And if it's a whim? Lucas: Then you're in a position to gently push back. You can say something like, 'I want to make sure I'm not missing something. Can we check whether this aligns with the original goals we set?' Luna: So you're not saying no, you're just asking for clarification. Lucas: Exactly. And a lot of the time, that's enough to make the boss stop and think. They might realize, yeah, maybe this isn't necessary. Or they might have a good reason that you didn't know about. Luna: And if they have a good reason, then you can get on board. Lucas: Right. And that's where the next step comes in. Once you understand the why, you need to document the change. Write it down. Send a follow-up email that says, 'Just to confirm, we're now moving in this direction, and the new deadline is X.' Luna: So you're covering your tracks. Lucas: You're creating a paper trail. And it's not about being paranoid. It's about making sure everyone is on the same page. Because if the boss changes their mind again, you can point back to the email and say, 'Okay, we agreed on this.' Luna: And that also forces the boss to be more deliberate about their changes, because they know they're on record. Lucas: Exactly. And that's a huge part of managing up. You're not just passively accepting whatever comes down. You're actively shaping the flow of information. Luna: And this might be a good moment to mention something that we do here on the show. We keep this podcast completely ad-free. No sponsor reads, no ads for meal kits or mattresses. And that's a choice we've made because we want to give you direct, unvarnished advice without any commercial interruptions. Lucas: Yeah, and it's something we're able to do because of the listeners who support us. If you find these conversations useful, and you want to keep them free of ads, you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small gesture, but it goes a long way in keeping this going. Luna: And it really does make a difference. So, back to the topic. You've documented the change, you've asked the question. What if the boss still keeps changing things? Lucas: Then you need to negotiate the timeline. Because every time the rules change, the original deadline becomes less realistic. So you have to say, 'Okay, if we're adding this new element, I need an extra week.' Luna: And that's not being difficult, that's being professional. Lucas: It's being realistic. And it's a way of showing your boss that you're thinking about the quality of the work, not just getting it done. And it also sets a natural boundary. If the boss knows that every change means a delay, they might think twice before making unnecessary ones. Luna: So you're training them. Lucas: In a way, yes. And that's not manipulative. It's just a clear cause and effect. And it's a way of protecting your own time and energy. Luna: And what about the emotional side? Because I imagine it's hard not to get frustrated. Lucas: Oh, it is. And you have to find a way to vent that's not in the meeting. Find a trusted colleague, or a mentor, or even just a friend who gets it. But you cannot let the frustration seep into your interactions with your boss. Because then you become the problem. Luna: So keep it professional, even when you're seething inside. Lucas: Yes. And that's a skill. And it gets easier with practice. And the more you practice it, the more you realize that you have more control than you think. You can't control your boss's behavior, but you can control how you respond to it. Luna: And sometimes that means knowing when to escalate. Like if it's really affecting your ability to do your job. Lucas: Right. And that's a last resort, but it's important to know that you have options. You can talk to your boss's boss, or HR, but you need to have your documentation ready. And you need to be clear about what you're asking for. You're not complaining, you're asking for support. Luna: That's a good distinction. And it's a fine line to walk. Lucas: It is. But the more you practice the earlier steps, the less likely you'll need to go there. Because most of the time, these issues can be resolved in the conversation. It's just about being smart and strategic. Luna: So the takeaway is, don't just react, respond. Ask questions, document, negotiate, and keep your cool. Lucas: That's the whole game. And it's a game you can learn to play well. And once you do, you'll find that you're not just surviving your boss, you're actually managing the relationship. And that feels pretty good. Luna: I think we've all been there. And the next time it happens, I know I'll be a little more prepared. Lucas: And that's the goal. Thanks for listening, and we'll catch you next time.