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The Coffin Confessor · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I have one more text message about getting locked out of your house and having to climb through the window.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: So this person says, I uh when I was a kid, I would always go through the window.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing has changed as an adult.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always locking myself out.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Our new house is right next to a busy restaurant, and I know people have seen me.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: So looking at where you live, I know what restaurant it is.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I just think this is so funny because I this is a it's a great restaurant.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: I can imagine me just sitting there eating and like seeing you climb through the window.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: That person's legs are just I mean, it it don't you if you were in that situation, wouldn't you think breaking an energy?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we now know different.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, not if you like like let's say it was right now.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm wearing cutoff shorts and flip-flops and my legs are hanging out the window, no, I would assume you locked yourself out.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: If you're wearing like all black, then I'm thinking breaking an energy.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the uniform of criminals, all black.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course it is.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, hello.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Spam or something there.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I have this job that if I ever stop working here, this is what I want to do.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's called the Coffin Confessor.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Here's how it started.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: A terminally ill man was suspecting his best friend of shacking up with his wife.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So he decided how can I get him back?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: I'm about to die because I'm terminally ill.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: How can I get him back and expose him?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the terminally ill guy is the one that wants to okay.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: So he hires a private investigator to find out who is shacking up with his wife.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: It is the best friend.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: So he says to the actually the private investigator said, You know what would be kind of funny?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is if I crashed your funeral and exposed your best friend in front of everyone.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: The client, aka terminally old man, says, Genius.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Great idea.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: I love this so much.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So best friend g gets up to give the eulogy, and the private investigator stands up and says, Sit down.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're not his best friend, and here's why.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And reveals everything to everyone in attendance.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: People started hearing about it left and right and have now been requesting this guy, this private investigator, to do their dirty work right before they die and expose at funerals, which in turn he started into a bit an actual legit business.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of just a private investigator, but this specific kind.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then he now goes by the coffin confessor.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and it's not the bad name of the person who has just passed.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not like that this was reversed, and the guy goes, sit down.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: This audience needs to know something about the man in that box.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's the exact opposite.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's that man in the box talking from the grave, going, Gatcha.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know what sucks too is how many people have this on demand, like they want this, which means a lot of you, or you know, a lot of us as uh as people are so scorned by somebody.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Scorn?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so scorned by somebody who's so close to them, too.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let me start where my feelings were in the beginning of this story.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, that's the way because nobody's forgetting this funeral.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there is that was even said in the story when I was reading it.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: They were like, oh, you know, it was just like a normal funeral, and it was just going kind of, you know, sad you move on.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's quiet, and people are like, uh, you know.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden everyone perked up, what?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: At first I'm like, is this the way I want to be remembered that I laid this out to the people that were at the funeral?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the other, here this is where my my feeling shifted from from being, you know, oh, uh, I think maybe a little tacky that the person, you know, decided this was gonna be their epitaph, they were gonna leave it like this.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: How's the guy gonna have an argument?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, like the guy that uh did it, all he can do is stand up and walk out.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right, because he has no argument because Right, there's no further discussion here.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because the private investigator shows evidence too while he's presenting.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like you're gonna turn to him and be like, well, let's decide.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's over.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, but the private- But that's the ultimate last word, and you don't have to hear anything else.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Essentially, the private investigator pulls out the slides and says, Oh, exhibit A.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Here is, which also makes his widow That's the tough part.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because now people are feeling for the well, they started feeling for the widow because they're like, Oh, John and and and Mary, you had uh, you know such great love.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, such great love for for 30 years of marriage.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, 20 years of marriage and 10 years of cheating.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Until she started shacking up with your best friend John.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only piece that I kind of feel like it that was stripped from her any morning, because I mean a lot of people.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Does she deserve to have this peaceful morning though, after she was cheating on her husband?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: What if her husband was terminally ill and couldn't do it for a long time and she had needs?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you have to talk that out.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Then you're in a opening.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's wrong.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's a stretch.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, then you're in an open marriage.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Or you just or you make that decision together.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I I couldn't do it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I would I couldn't either.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would have to wait for my partner to pass.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love the fact that there's no conversation.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's no there there will be nothing between the now deceased gentleman and and this guy.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like that this is the best piece of finality.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: But what about kids?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: What about other people?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the kids, let's say even if they're grown and they really didn't know, and now all of a sudden this is how their mom gets exposed.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of that's a little rough.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do you care though?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're dead.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, that guy, but the other people still carry on.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure, yeah, and I'm sure he cares about his kids, but he and he even said that in his will he wanted certain things to be um laid out.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: But he knew I'm so torn on this.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: He knew that the family would not oblige to his will because he was going to try to expose his wife.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then he thought, well, I'll they won't do that.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: They won't but they won't do that.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I have to hire this this private investigator to do it.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am torn.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can't decide if I love this or if I'm struggling with all the other people that could be affected by this.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: The kids.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Potentially The wife I don't really care about now.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, she's kind of made her bed.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well or slept in a lot of 'em.