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38. Discovering Parts Work With Guest Dani Fake · Burning Brightly

• 0:00
  This
• 0:01
  is
• 0:01
  burning
• 0:01
  brightly,
• 0:01
  a
• 0:02
  podcast
• 0:02
  for
• 0:02
  Christian
• 0:03
  moms
• 0:03
  who
• 0:03
  are
• 0:03
  feeling
• 0:03
  called
• 0:04
  to
• 0:04
  build
• 0:04
  a
• 0:04
  business
• 0:05
  and
• 0:05
  share
• 0:05
  their
• 0:05
  light
• 0:05
  with
• 0:06
  the
• 0:06
  world.
• 0:06
  I'm
• 0:07
  Bonnie
• 0:07
  Wiscombe,
• 0:07
  a
• 0:07
  life
• 0:08
  coach,
• 0:08
  mom,
• 0:08
  and
• 0:08
  entrepreneur.
• 0:09
  And
• 0:09
  I'm
• 0:10
  honored
• 0:10
  to
• 0:10
  be
• 0:10
  your
• 0:10
  guide
• 0:10
  as
• 0:10
  you
• 0:11
  face
• 0:11
  this
• 0:11
  business
• 0:11
  building
• 0:12
  adventure
• 0:12
  full
• 0:13
  of
• 0:13
  highs,
• 0:13
  lows,
• 0:14
  and
• 0:14
  everything
• 0:14
  in
• 0:14
  between.
• 0:15
  This
• 0:15
  is
• 0:15
  where
• 0:15
  we
• 0:16
  help
• 0:16
  each
• 0:16
  other
• 0:16
  find
• 0:16
  the
• 0:16
  courage
• 0:17
  to
• 0:17
  shine.
• 0:28
  Okay,
• 0:28
  friends,
• 0:28
  welcome
• 0:28
  back
• 0:29
  to
• 0:29
  Burning
• 0:29
  Brightly.
• 0:29
  I
• 0:30
  am
• 0:30
  so
• 0:30
  thrilled
• 0:30
  to
• 0:31
  tell
• 0:31
  you
• 0:31
  that
• 0:31
  I
• 0:31
  have
• 0:31
  my
• 0:31
  first
• 0:32
  guest
• 0:32
  today.
• 0:32
  I'm
• 0:33
  not
• 0:33
  a
• 0:33
  stranger
• 0:33
  to
• 0:33
  guests
• 0:34
  on
• 0:34
  podcasts
• 0:35
  because
• 0:35
  of
• 0:35
  outnumbered,
• 0:35
  but
• 0:35
  this
• 0:36
  is
• 0:36
  my
• 0:36
  first
• 0:36
  one
• 0:36
  on
• 0:36
  Burning
• 0:37
  Brightly.
• 0:37
  So
• 0:37
  welcome
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  Danny
• 0:38
  Fake.
• 0:39
  Welcome.
• 0:39
  Thank
• 0:39
  you
• 0:39
  for
• 0:40
  coming
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  podcast.
• 0:41
  Thank
• 0:41
  you.
• 0:42
  I'm
• 0:42
  delighted
• 0:42
  to
• 0:42
  be
• 0:42
  here.
• 0:43
  Yes.
• 0:44
  You
• 0:44
  guys
• 0:44
  are
• 0:44
  going
• 0:44
  to
• 0:44
  love
• 0:44
  Dani.
• 0:45
  She
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  I
• 0:45
  are
• 0:45
  in
• 0:45
  a
• 0:45
  mastermind
• 0:46
  together
• 0:46
  and
• 0:46
  we
• 0:46
  really,
• 0:47
  really,
• 0:47
  have
• 0:47
  learned
• 0:47
  a
• 0:47
  lot
• 0:48
  from
• 0:48
  each
• 0:48
  other
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  I'm
• 0:48
  so
• 0:49
  excited
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  dive
• 0:49
  in
• 0:49
  on
• 0:50
  what
• 0:50
  she
• 0:50
  is
• 0:50
  an
• 0:50
  expert
• 0:51
  in.
• 0:51
  Give
• 0:51
  us
• 0:52
  a
• 0:52
  little
• 0:52
  bit
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  a
• 0:52
  background
• 0:53
  into
• 0:53
  your
• 0:53
  expertise,
• 0:54
  what
• 0:54
  we're
• 0:54
  going
• 0:54
  to
• 0:55
  talk
• 0:55
  about
• 0:55
  today
• 0:55
  and
• 0:55
  who
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  are.
• 0:56
  Yes.
• 0:57
  So
• 0:57
  who
• 0:57
  I
• 0:58
  am.
• 0:58
  So
• 0:58
  first
• 0:58
  of
• 0:58
  all,
• 0:58
  my
• 0:58
  name
• 0:58
  is
• 0:59
  Danny
• 0:59
  fake
• 0:59
  and
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  like
• 1:00
  to
• 1:01
  joke
• 1:01
  cause
• 1:01
  people
• 1:01
  love
• 1:02
  to
• 1:02
  make
• 1:02
  fun
• 1:02
  of
• 1:02
  my
• 1:02
  last
• 1:03
  name
• 1:03
  and
• 1:03
  it
• 1:03
  is
• 1:03
  fake
• 1:04
  just
• 1:04
  like
• 1:04
  it
• 1:04
  sounds
• 1:05
  F
• 1:05
  A
• 1:05
  K
• 1:05
  E.
• 1:05
  And
• 1:05
  I
• 1:06
  am
• 1:06
  a
• 1:06
  real
• 1:06
  person.
• 1:06
  I
• 1:06
  promise.
• 1:08
  So
• 1:08
  currently
• 1:09
  I
• 1:09
  do,
• 1:10
  I
• 1:10
  have
• 1:10
  my
• 1:10
  own
• 1:10
  practice
• 1:11
  where
• 1:11
  I
• 1:11
  do
• 1:12
  what
• 1:12
  I
• 1:12
  call
• 1:12
  depth
• 1:12
  coaching.
• 1:13
  So
• 1:14
  I
• 1:14
  am
• 1:14
  a
• 1:14
  former
• 1:14
  therapist,
• 1:15
  so
• 1:15
  I
• 1:15
  had
• 1:15
  a
• 1:15
  therapy
• 1:15
  practice
• 1:16
  for
• 1:16
  10
• 1:16
  years
• 1:17
  and
• 1:17
  really
• 1:17
  worked
• 1:18
  helping
• 1:18
  people.
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  go
• 1:20
  deeper,
• 1:20
  to
• 1:20
  go
• 1:20
  deeper
• 1:21
  into
• 1:21
  their
• 1:21
  inner
• 1:21
  world.
• 1:22
  And
• 1:22
  so
• 1:22
  I
• 1:22
  take
• 1:22
  that
• 1:23
  into
• 1:23
  my
• 1:23
  coaching
• 1:23
  practice
• 1:24
  now.
• 1:24
  And
• 1:25
  I'm
• 1:25
  also
• 1:25
  a
• 1:25
  PCC,
• 1:26
  so
• 1:26
  a
• 1:26
  professional
• 1:27
  certified
• 1:27
  coach
• 1:27
  with
• 1:27
  the
• 1:27
  ICF,
• 1:28
  and
• 1:28
  I'm
• 1:28
  an
• 1:28
  ICF
• 1:29
  coach
• 1:29
  mentor.
• 1:30
  So
• 1:30
  I
• 1:30
  do
• 1:30
  coach
• 1:30
  training
• 1:31
  in
• 1:31
  their
• 1:31
  coach
• 1:31
  training
• 1:32
  program
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  also
• 1:32
  mentor
• 1:33
  coaches
• 1:33
  who
• 1:34
  want
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  get
• 1:34
  their
• 1:35
  ICF
• 1:36
  credential.
• 1:37
  And.
• 1:37
  All
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  this,
• 1:39
  much
• 1:39
  of
• 1:39
  this
• 1:39
  is
• 1:39
  done
• 1:40
  within
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  context
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  what
• 1:41
  we're
• 1:41
  going
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  talk
• 1:41
  about
• 1:41
  today,
• 1:42
  which
• 1:42
  is
• 1:42
  parts
• 1:43
  work
• 1:44
  or
• 1:44
  it's
• 1:45
  work.
• 1:45
  Okay.
• 1:45
  So
• 1:45
  first
• 1:46
  off
• 1:46
  you
• 1:46
  say
• 1:46
  parts
• 1:46
  work
• 1:47
  and
• 1:47
  I
• 1:47
  think,
• 1:47
  okay,
• 1:47
  we're
• 1:47
  going
• 1:48
  to
• 1:48
  like
• 1:48
  take
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  car
• 1:49
  apart
• 1:49
  and
• 1:49
  figure
• 1:50
  out
• 1:50
  how
• 1:50
  the
• 1:51
  engine
• 1:51
  works,
• 1:51
  but
• 1:52
  I
• 1:52
  know
• 1:52
  better
• 1:52
  because
• 1:52
  I
• 1:53
  have
• 1:53
  seen
• 1:53
  Danny's
• 1:53
  work
• 1:54
  and
• 1:54
  I've
• 1:54
  been
• 1:54
  following
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  on
• 1:55
  Instagram.
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  love,
• 1:56
  love,
• 1:56
  love
• 1:56
  what
• 1:56
  you
• 1:56
  teach.
• 1:57
  And
• 1:57
  I
• 1:57
  love
• 1:57
  that
• 1:57
  you
• 1:58
  are
• 1:58
  kind
• 1:58
  of,
• 1:58
  it
• 1:58
  sounds
• 1:58
  like
• 1:58
  you
• 1:59
  are
• 1:59
  trying
• 1:59
  to
• 1:59
  kind
• 1:59
  of
• 1:59
  be
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  little
• 2:00
  bit
• 2:00
  of
• 2:00
  a
• 2:00
  liaison
• 2:00
  between
• 2:01
  that,
• 2:01
  that
• 2:02
  coaching
• 2:02
  world
• 2:02
  and
• 2:03
  the
• 2:03
  world
• 2:03
  of
• 2:03
  therapy,
• 2:04
  which
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  know
• 2:04
  there
• 2:04
  is
• 2:04
  a
• 2:04
  little
• 2:04
  bit
• 2:04
  of
• 2:05
  overlap,
• 2:05
  but
• 2:05
  anything,
• 2:06
  obviously
• 2:06
  we
• 2:07
  coaches
• 2:07
  can
• 2:07
  learn
• 2:08
  from
• 2:08
  the
• 2:08
  therapist
• 2:08
  to
• 2:08
  help
• 2:09
  us
• 2:09
  do
• 2:09
  our
• 2:09
  work
• 2:09
  better
• 2:09
  without,
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  know,
• 2:10
  crossing
• 2:11
  too
• 2:11
  far
• 2:11
  into
• 2:11
  your
• 2:11
  territory.
• 2:12
  We
• 2:12
  love.
• 2:13
  So
• 2:13
  tell
• 2:13
  us
• 2:14
  about
• 2:14
  this.
• 2:14
  What
• 2:14
  is
• 2:15
  parts
• 2:15
  work?
• 2:15
  Why
• 2:16
  is
• 2:16
  it
• 2:16
  important?
• 2:17
  Yes.
• 2:18
  So
• 2:18
  Parks
• 2:18
  work
• 2:19
  is
• 2:19
  what
• 2:19
  you
• 2:19
  say.
• 2:19
  It's
• 2:20
  like
• 2:20
  a
• 2:20
  mechanic
• 2:20
  or
• 2:21
  a
• 2:21
  car
• 2:21
  taking
• 2:21
  itself
• 2:22
  apart.
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  mean,
• 2:23
  that's
• 2:23
  not
• 2:23
  a
• 2:23
  bad
• 2:24
  metaphor,
• 2:26
  because
• 2:26
  we're
• 2:26
  actually
• 2:27
  doing
• 2:27
  that
• 2:27
  with
• 2:27
  ourselves.
• 2:28
  So
• 2:28
  most
• 2:28
  of
• 2:28
  us
• 2:29
  tend
• 2:29
  to
• 2:29
  unconsciously
• 2:30
  go
• 2:30
  through
• 2:31
  the
• 2:31
  world
• 2:31
  feeling
• 2:31
  like
• 2:32
  we
• 2:32
  are
• 2:32
  just
• 2:32
  one
• 2:32
  person.
• 2:33
  Like
• 2:33
  I'm
• 2:33
  just
• 2:33
  Danny.
• 2:34
  Right.
• 2:35
  And
• 2:36
  you're
• 2:36
  just
• 2:36
  Bonnie.
• 2:37
  But
• 2:37
  the
• 2:37
  reality
• 2:37
  is
• 2:38
  we
• 2:38
  all
• 2:38
  have
• 2:39
  a
• 2:39
  whole
• 2:39
  bunch
• 2:39
  of
• 2:40
  different
• 2:40
  parts
• 2:40
  that
• 2:40
  live
• 2:41
  inside
• 2:41
  of
• 2:41
  us.
• 2:41
  So
• 2:41
  we're
• 2:41
  not
• 2:42
  actually
• 2:42
  one
• 2:42
  mind.
• 2:43
  We
• 2:43
  are
• 2:43
  of
• 2:43
  us.
• 2:43
  Right.
• 2:43
  of
• 2:44
  multiple
• 2:44
  minds.
• 2:45
  It
• 2:45
  is
• 2:45
  not
• 2:46
  multiple
• 2:46
  personality,
• 2:47
  like
• 2:47
  we
• 2:47
  are
• 2:47
  not
• 2:47
  talking
• 2:48
  about
• 2:48
  dissociative
• 2:48
  identity
• 2:49
  disorder,
• 2:50
  but
• 2:50
  everyone
• 2:51
  actually
• 2:51
  knows
• 2:51
  this
• 2:51
  already.
• 2:52
  So
• 2:52
  if
• 2:52
  you
• 2:53
  think
• 2:53
  about
• 2:53
  in
• 2:53
  our
• 2:53
  culture,
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  hear,
• 2:55
  well,
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  have
• 2:55
  an
• 2:55
  angel
• 2:56
  on
• 2:56
  one
• 2:56
  shoulder
• 2:56
  telling
• 2:56
  me
• 2:57
  one
• 2:57
  thing
• 2:57
  and
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  have
• 2:57
  a
• 2:57
  devil
• 2:57
  on
• 2:58
  another
• 2:58
  shoulder
• 2:58
  telling
• 2:59
  me
• 2:59
  another
• 2:59
  thing.
• 3:00
  Or
• 3:00
  you'll
• 3:00
  say,
• 3:01
  Oh,
• 3:01
  there's
• 3:01
  a
• 3:01
  part
• 3:01
  of
• 3:01
  me
• 3:02
  that
• 3:02
  really
• 3:02
  wants
• 3:02
  to
• 3:03
  go
• 3:03
  to
• 3:03
  this
• 3:03
  holiday
• 3:03
  party.
• 3:04
  And
• 3:04
  there's
• 3:04
  a
• 3:04
  part
• 3:05
  of
• 3:05
  me
• 3:05
  that
• 3:05
  just
• 3:05
  wants
• 3:05
  to
• 3:06
  stay
• 3:06
  home
• 3:06
  curled
• 3:06
  up
• 3:06
  with
• 3:06
  the
• 3:07
  book.
• 3:07
  Right?
• 3:08
  So
• 3:08
  it's,
• 3:09
  we
• 3:09
  already
• 3:09
  use
• 3:09
  the
• 3:10
  language.
• 3:10
  We
• 3:10
  already
• 3:11
  talk
• 3:11
  about
• 3:11
  it.
• 3:11
  If
• 3:11
  anyone
• 3:12
  has
• 3:12
  seen
• 3:12
  the
• 3:12
  movie
• 3:13
  inside
• 3:13
  out
• 3:14
  from
• 3:14
  Pixar,
• 3:15
  that
• 3:15
  is
• 3:16
  a
• 3:16
  beautiful
• 3:16
  representation
• 3:17
  of
• 3:18
  parts
• 3:18
  work.
• 3:19
  And
• 3:19
  so
• 3:19
  it
• 3:19
  already
• 3:20
  exists
• 3:20
  in
• 3:20
  our
• 3:20
  culture.
• 3:21
  And
• 3:21
  so
• 3:21
  what,
• 3:21
  what
• 3:22
  parts
• 3:22
  work
• 3:22
  does
• 3:22
  in
• 3:22
  terms
• 3:23
  of
• 3:23
  my
• 3:23
  work
• 3:23
  and
• 3:23
  bring
• 3:24
  it
• 3:24
  into
• 3:24
  the
• 3:24
  coaching
• 3:24
  practice
• 3:25
  is
• 3:25
  making
• 3:26
  what's
• 3:26
  already
• 3:27
  true,
• 3:27
  how
• 3:28
  we
• 3:28
  already
• 3:28
  talk.
• 3:29
  Conscious
• 3:30
  making
• 3:31
  ourselves
• 3:31
  aware,
• 3:32
  who
• 3:32
  are
• 3:32
  the
• 3:33
  key
• 3:33
  players
• 3:33
  for
• 3:33
  each
• 3:34
  of
• 3:34
  us?
• 3:34
  How
• 3:35
  are
• 3:35
  they
• 3:35
  helping
• 3:35
  us
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  our
• 3:36
  lives?
• 3:37
  How
• 3:37
  are
• 3:37
  they
• 3:37
  maybe
• 3:37
  getting
• 3:38
  in
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  way
• 3:38
  of
• 3:38
  what
• 3:39
  we're
• 3:39
  really
• 3:39
  wanting
• 3:39
  to
• 3:39
  accomplish?
• 3:40
  How
• 3:41
  can
• 3:41
  they
• 3:41
  help
• 3:41
  us
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  be
• 3:41
  more
• 3:42
  emotionally
• 3:42
  regulated,
• 3:43
  build
• 3:43
  better
• 3:43
  relationships?
• 3:44
  So
• 3:44
  it's
• 3:44
  really
• 3:44
  becoming
• 3:45
  conscious
• 3:45
  of
• 3:46
  what
• 3:46
  already
• 3:46
  exists
• 3:47
  with
• 3:47
  all
• 3:47
  the
• 3:47
  different
• 3:48
  parts
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  live
• 3:48
  inside
• 3:48
  of
• 3:49
  you.
• 3:50
  Okay.
• 3:50
  That
• 3:50
  is
• 3:50
  a
• 3:50
  beautiful
• 3:51
  explanation.
• 3:52
  And
• 3:52
  I
• 3:52
  think
• 3:52
  for
• 3:52
  a
• 3:53
  lot
• 3:53
  of
• 3:53
  us
• 3:53
  will
• 3:53
  make
• 3:53
  us
• 3:53
  realize,
• 3:54
  okay,
• 3:54
  we're
• 3:54
  not
• 3:54
  crazy.
• 3:55
  This
• 3:55
  is
• 3:56
  totally
• 3:57
  normal.
• 3:58
  We
• 3:58
  all
• 3:58
  have
• 3:58
  voices
• 3:59
  in
• 3:59
  our
• 3:59
  head.
• 4:01
  I
• 4:01
  really
• 4:01
  resonated
• 4:02
  with
• 4:02
  that
• 4:02
  movie
• 4:02
  when
• 4:02
  I
• 4:02
  saw
• 4:03
  it.
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  was
• 4:03
  like,
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  get
• 4:03
  that.
• 4:04
  I
• 4:04
  got
• 4:04
  joy
• 4:04
  and
• 4:04
  I
• 4:04
  got
• 4:04
  fear
• 4:05
  and
• 4:05
  I
• 4:05
  got
• 4:05
  all
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  things.
• 4:06
  Yes.
• 4:06
  And
• 4:06
  disgust
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  anger
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  sadness.
• 4:09
  Yes.
• 4:09
  And
• 4:09
  sometimes
• 4:09
  they're
• 4:10
  all
• 4:10
  talking
• 4:10
  at
• 4:10
  the
• 4:10
  same
• 4:11
  time.
• 4:11
  You're
• 4:11
  like,
• 4:12
  okay,
• 4:12
  I
• 4:12
  don't
• 4:12
  even
• 4:12
  know
• 4:12
  what
• 4:13
  to
• 4:13
  think
• 4:13
  about
• 4:13
  this
• 4:13
  situation
• 4:14
  because
• 4:14
  you
• 4:14
  have
• 4:14
  all
• 4:14
  these
• 4:14
  things
• 4:15
  going
• 4:15
  on
• 4:15
  at
• 4:15
  once.
• 4:15
  And
• 4:15
  you
• 4:16
  know,
• 4:16
  when
• 4:16
  I
• 4:16
  first
• 4:16
  heard
• 4:16
  about
• 4:17
  this
• 4:17
  work
• 4:17
  from
• 4:17
  you,
• 4:18
  actually.
• 4:18
  A
• 4:18
  friend
• 4:19
  introduced
• 4:19
  me
• 4:19
  to
• 4:19
  you.
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  thought,
• 4:20
  okay,
• 4:20
  this
• 4:20
  resonates
• 4:20
  a
• 4:21
  lot
• 4:21
  with
• 4:21
  me
• 4:22
  and
• 4:22
  not
• 4:22
  just
• 4:22
  me
• 4:22
  personally,
• 4:22
  but
• 4:23
  in
• 4:23
  my
• 4:23
  work
• 4:23
  with
• 4:23
  clients
• 4:24
  as
• 4:24
  well,
• 4:24
  they'll
• 4:24
  say
• 4:24
  something
• 4:25
  else
• 4:25
  that
• 4:25
  I
• 4:25
  just
• 4:25
  don't
• 4:26
  know
• 4:26
  why
• 4:26
  I
• 4:26
  can't
• 4:26
  get
• 4:26
  rid
• 4:26
  of
• 4:26
  this
• 4:27
  thought.
• 4:27
  I
• 4:27
  don't
• 4:27
  know
• 4:27
  why
• 4:27
  I
• 4:28
  can't
• 4:28
  move
• 4:29
  past
• 4:29
  this.
• 4:29
  And
• 4:30
  I'm
• 4:30
  thinking,
• 4:30
  I
• 4:30
  think
• 4:30
  there's
• 4:30
  more
• 4:31
  there
• 4:31
  that
• 4:31
  we
• 4:31
  don't
• 4:31
  fully
• 4:32
  understand.
• 4:32
  Right.
• 4:33
  So
• 4:34
  let's
• 4:34
  dive
• 4:34
  in
• 4:34
  a
• 4:34
  little
• 4:35
  bit.
• 4:35
  Tell
• 4:35
  us
• 4:35
  about
• 4:36
  these
• 4:36
  different
• 4:37
  parts,
• 4:37
  these
• 4:37
  different
• 4:37
  roles
• 4:38
  inside
• 4:38
  of
• 4:38
  our
• 4:38
  mind.
• 4:38
  What
• 4:38
  do
• 4:38
  they
• 4:39
  look
• 4:39
  like?
• 4:40
  So
• 4:40
  the
• 4:41
  first
• 4:41
  I
• 4:41
  feel
• 4:41
  like
• 4:42
  I
• 4:42
  need
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  give
• 4:42
  a
• 4:42
  nod
• 4:43
  to
• 4:43
  the
• 4:43
  origin
• 4:44
  of
• 4:44
  parts
• 4:44
  work
• 4:44
  from
• 4:45
  in
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  therapeutic
• 4:45
  world.
• 4:46
  And
• 4:46
  so
• 4:46
  it
• 4:46
  is
• 4:47
  based
• 4:47
  on
• 4:47
  internal
• 4:48
  family
• 4:48
  systems,
• 4:48
  which
• 4:48
  was
• 4:49
  a
• 4:49
  methodology
• 4:49
  developed
• 4:50
  by
• 4:50
  Richard
• 4:50
  Schwartz
• 4:51
  like
• 4:51
  40
• 4:51
  years
• 4:52
  ago,
• 4:52
  and
• 4:53
  his
• 4:53
  work
• 4:53
  with
• 4:54
  it
• 4:54
  really
• 4:54
  is
• 4:54
  a
• 4:54
  therapeutic
• 4:55
  model
• 4:56
  of
• 4:56
  going
• 4:56
  in
• 4:56
  and
• 4:56
  working
• 4:57
  with
• 4:57
  traumas.
• 4:58
  And
• 4:58
  it
• 4:58
  has
• 4:59
  been
• 4:59
  an
• 4:59
  incredibly
• 5:00
  powerful
• 5:00
  evidence
• 5:01
  based
• 5:01
  healing
• 5:02
  modality
• 5:02
  for
• 5:02
  people
• 5:03
  in
• 5:03
  the
• 5:03
  therapy
• 5:03
  world.
• 5:04
  So
• 5:04
  I
• 5:04
  just
• 5:04
  feel
• 5:04
  like
• 5:04
  I
• 5:04
  need
• 5:05
  to
• 5:05
  give
• 5:05
  a
• 5:05
  nod
• 5:05
  out
• 5:05
  because
• 5:05
  that
• 5:05
  certainly
• 5:06
  is
• 5:06
  the
• 5:06
  foundation
• 5:07
  of
• 5:07
  it.
• 5:07
  The
• 5:08
  way
• 5:08
  that
• 5:08
  I
• 5:08
  talk
• 5:08
  about,
• 5:09
  parts
• 5:10
  work
• 5:10
  is
• 5:10
  there's
• 5:11
  really
• 5:11
  three
• 5:11
  core
• 5:12
  aspects
• 5:13
  of
• 5:13
  all
• 5:13
  of
• 5:13
  us,
• 5:14
  and
• 5:15
  the
• 5:15
  first
• 5:15
  one
• 5:16
  are
• 5:16
  your
• 5:16
  protectors.
• 5:17
  So
• 5:17
  we
• 5:17
  all
• 5:18
  have
• 5:19
  allies
• 5:20
  so
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  those
• 5:20
  protector
• 5:21
  parts
• 5:21
  of
• 5:21
  us
• 5:21
  that
• 5:22
  are
• 5:22
  like,
• 5:22
  yes,
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  can
• 5:23
  help
• 5:23
  you.
• 5:23
  I'm
• 5:24
  gonna
• 5:24
  help
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  get
• 5:24
  your
• 5:24
  job
• 5:25
  done.
• 5:25
  our
• 5:26
  ally
• 5:26
  protectors
• 5:26
  are
• 5:27
  what
• 5:27
  allowed
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  and
• 5:27
  I
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  show
• 5:28
  up
• 5:28
  here
• 5:28
  today
• 5:28
  and
• 5:28
  be
• 5:28
  recording
• 5:29
  this
• 5:29
  podcast,
• 5:29
  right?
• 5:30
  Because
• 5:30
  we've
• 5:30
  got
• 5:30
  parts
• 5:30
  of
• 5:30
  us
• 5:31
  that
• 5:31
  know
• 5:31
  how
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  make
• 5:31
  that
• 5:32
  happen,
• 5:32
  how
• 5:32
  to
• 5:32
  manage
• 5:32
  our
• 5:33
  lives.
• 5:33
  We
• 5:34
  also
• 5:34
  have
• 5:34
  protectors
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  are
• 5:35
  commonly
• 5:36
  referred
• 5:36
  to
• 5:36
  as
• 5:36
  saboteurs,
• 5:38
  or
• 5:38
  maybe
• 5:39
  underminers,
• 5:39
  or
• 5:39
  people
• 5:39
  who
• 5:39
  maybe
• 5:40
  undermine
• 5:40
  the
• 5:40
  things
• 5:41
  we're
• 5:41
  trying
• 5:41
  to
• 5:41
  do.
• 5:42
  These
• 5:42
  are
• 5:42
  the
• 5:42
  ones
• 5:43
  that
• 5:43
  are
• 5:43
  typically
• 5:43
  a
• 5:43
  little
• 5:43
  bit
• 5:44
  more
• 5:44
  problematic,
• 5:45
  things
• 5:45
  that
• 5:45
  we
• 5:45
  can
• 5:45
  get
• 5:45
  frustrated
• 5:46
  with.
• 5:47
  So
• 5:47
  we
• 5:47
  have
• 5:47
  these
• 5:48
  protector
• 5:48
  parts
• 5:48
  that
• 5:49
  are
• 5:49
  both
• 5:49
  allies
• 5:49
  and
• 5:49
  saboteurs,
• 5:50
  so
• 5:50
  both
• 5:50
  the
• 5:51
  challenging
• 5:51
  and
• 5:52
  the
• 5:53
  helpers,
• 5:54
  and
• 5:54
  then
• 5:54
  they're
• 5:54
  called
• 5:55
  protectors
• 5:55
  because
• 5:56
  they
• 5:56
  are
• 5:56
  protecting
• 5:57
  something.
• 5:58
  So
• 5:59
  the
• 5:59
  second
• 5:59
  type
• 5:59
  of
• 6:00
  part
• 6:00
  is,
• 6:01
  I
• 6:01
  refer
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  it
• 6:02
  as
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  little,
• 6:02
  internal
• 6:03
  family
• 6:03
  systems
• 6:04
  refers
• 6:04
  to
• 6:04
  it
• 6:04
  as
• 6:04
  the
• 6:05
  exile,
• 6:05
  but
• 6:05
  it's
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  younger
• 6:07
  inner
• 6:07
  child,
• 6:08
  the
• 6:08
  more
• 6:09
  vulnerable
• 6:10
  parts
• 6:10
  of
• 6:10
  ourselves
• 6:11
  that
• 6:11
  we
• 6:12
  don't
• 6:12
  like
• 6:12
  to
• 6:12
  hang
• 6:13
  out
• 6:13
  with
• 6:13
  because
• 6:13
  they
• 6:14
  hold
• 6:14
  a
• 6:14
  lot
• 6:14
  of
• 6:14
  our
• 6:14
  pain.
• 6:15
  And
• 6:15
  so
• 6:15
  we
• 6:16
  tend
• 6:16
  to
• 6:16
  disown
• 6:16
  them,
• 6:17
  like
• 6:17
  we'll
• 6:17
  literally
• 6:17
  tend
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  like
• 6:18
  push
• 6:18
  them
• 6:18
  down
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  basement
• 6:19
  stairs
• 6:19
  or
• 6:19
  push
• 6:20
  them
• 6:20
  into
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  corner.
• 6:20
  Like
• 6:20
  we
• 6:20
  don't
• 6:21
  want
• 6:21
  to
• 6:21
  be
• 6:22
  engaged
• 6:22
  with
• 6:22
  those
• 6:23
  littles
• 6:23
  because
• 6:23
  they're
• 6:23
  holding
• 6:24
  the
• 6:25
  pure
• 6:25
  pain,
• 6:26
  from
• 6:26
  just
• 6:27
  being
• 6:27
  a
• 6:27
  human
• 6:27
  being
• 6:28
  in
• 6:28
  this
• 6:28
  world.
• 6:29
  so
• 6:29
  that's
• 6:30
  the
• 6:30
  second
• 6:30
  type
• 6:30
  of
• 6:30
  part
• 6:31
  is
• 6:31
  a
• 6:31
  little,
• 6:31
  and
• 6:31
  I,
• 6:31
  I
• 6:31
  would
• 6:31
  love
• 6:32
  at
• 6:32
  some
• 6:32
  point
• 6:32
  how
• 6:32
  this
• 6:33
  fits
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  to
• 6:33
  actually
• 6:33
  talk
• 6:33
  about
• 6:34
  how
• 6:34
  do
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  work
• 6:34
  with
• 6:34
  the
• 6:35
  littles
• 6:35
  in
• 6:35
  coaching
• 6:36
  because
• 6:36
  the
• 6:36
  littles.
• 6:37
  a
• 6:37
  really
• 6:38
  important
• 6:38
  part
• 6:38
  of
• 6:39
  overcoming
• 6:40
  some
• 6:40
  of
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  just
• 6:41
  challenges
• 6:41
  we
• 6:41
  have
• 6:41
  as
• 6:41
  humans,
• 6:42
  challenges
• 6:43
  we
• 6:43
  have
• 6:43
  as
• 6:43
  we're
• 6:43
  running
• 6:43
  businesses,
• 6:44
  having
• 6:44
  jobs,
• 6:45
  like,
• 6:45
  so
• 6:45
  we've
• 6:45
  got
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  deal
• 6:46
  with
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  littles.
• 6:47
  And
• 6:47
  then
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  third
• 6:47
  kind
• 6:48
  of
• 6:48
  part
• 6:48
  is
• 6:49
  The
• 6:49
  authentic
• 6:50
  self.
• 6:50
  I
• 6:51
  call
• 6:51
  it
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  authentic
• 6:51
  self.
• 6:52
  You
• 6:52
  may
• 6:52
  refer
• 6:52
  to
• 6:52
  it
• 6:52
  as
• 6:53
  your
• 6:53
  higher
• 6:53
  self,
• 6:53
  your
• 6:54
  divine
• 6:54
  self,
• 6:54
  your
• 6:55
  essential
• 6:55
  self.
• 6:55
  Like
• 6:56
  there's
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  bunch
• 6:56
  of
• 6:56
  different
• 6:56
  ways
• 6:56
  to
• 6:57
  refer
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  it,
• 6:58
  but
• 6:58
  it
• 6:58
  is
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  part
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  us
• 7:00
  that
• 7:00
  is,
• 7:01
  it
• 7:01
  holds
• 7:01
  our
• 7:02
  capacity
• 7:03
  for
• 7:03
  self
• 7:03
  compassion.
• 7:04
  It
• 7:04
  is
• 7:05
  our
• 7:05
  wisest
• 7:05
  part.
• 7:06
  It
• 7:06
  is
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  part
• 7:07
  that
• 7:07
  holds
• 7:07
  our
• 7:07
  deepest
• 7:07
  inner
• 7:08
  knowing
• 7:09
  and
• 7:09
  it
• 7:09
  is
• 7:10
  calm.
• 7:11
  It
• 7:11
  is
• 7:11
  curious
• 7:12
  and
• 7:12
  it
• 7:12
  is
• 7:12
  compassionate.
• 7:14
  And
• 7:14
  it
• 7:14
  is
• 7:14
  like
• 7:15
  our
• 7:15
  deepest
• 7:15
  inner
• 7:16
  leader.
• 7:18
  Oh,
• 7:18
  when
• 7:18
  you
• 7:18
  talk
• 7:18
  about
• 7:18
  that
• 7:19
  authentic
• 7:19
  self,
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  just
• 7:19
  get
• 7:20
  this
• 7:20
  image
• 7:20
  of
• 7:20
  like
• 7:20
  the
• 7:21
  future
• 7:21
  me,
• 7:21
  the
• 7:22
  really
• 7:22
  wise
• 7:22
  me
• 7:23
  who
• 7:23
  just
• 7:23
  wants
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  love
• 7:24
  me
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  say,
• 7:25
  it's
• 7:25
  going
• 7:25
  to
• 7:25
  be
• 7:25
  okay.
• 7:25
  I
• 7:26
  see
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  future.
• 7:27
  Like
• 7:27
  I
• 7:27
  know
• 7:27
  what's
• 7:27
  coming.
• 7:28
  It's
• 7:28
  going
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  be
• 7:28
  all
• 7:28
  right.
• 7:29
  And
• 7:29
  that's
• 7:29
  kind
• 7:29
  of
• 7:29
  what
• 7:29
  we
• 7:29
  try
• 7:29
  to
• 7:29
  channel
• 7:30
  a
• 7:30
  lot
• 7:30
  in,
• 7:31
  In
• 7:31
  coaching
• 7:31
  sessions,
• 7:32
  when
• 7:32
  we're
• 7:32
  going
• 7:33
  into
• 7:33
  something
• 7:33
  really
• 7:33
  scary,
• 7:34
  like
• 7:34
  building
• 7:34
  a
• 7:34
  business,
• 7:35
  right?
• 7:35
  Yes.
• 7:36
  Often
• 7:36
  referred
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  in
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  coaching
• 7:37
  practices
• 7:38
  or
• 7:38
  coaching
• 7:39
  worlds
• 7:39
  as
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  inner
• 7:40
  leader,
• 7:40
  like
• 7:40
  our
• 7:40
  deepest,
• 7:41
  strongest
• 7:42
  inner
• 7:42
  leader.
• 7:43
  And
• 7:43
  that's
• 7:43
  exactly
• 7:44
  what
• 7:44
  it
• 7:44
  is.
• 7:45
  And
• 7:45
  you
• 7:46
  know,
• 7:46
  the
• 7:46
  reason
• 7:46
  life
• 7:47
  is
• 7:47
  even
• 7:47
  challenging.
• 7:48
  It's
• 7:48
  like,
• 7:48
  well,
• 7:48
  if
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  have
• 7:48
  an
• 7:48
  inner
• 7:49
  leader,
• 7:49
  just
• 7:49
  like.
• 7:49
  Let
• 7:50
  it
• 7:50
  lead
• 7:50
  all
• 7:50
  the
• 7:50
  time.
• 7:51
  Well,
• 7:52
  unfortunately,
• 7:53
  some
• 7:53
  people
• 7:53
  I
• 7:53
  wish,
• 7:53
  like,
• 7:54
  would
• 7:54
  she
• 7:54
  just
• 7:54
  be
• 7:54
  a
• 7:54
  little
• 7:55
  more
• 7:55
  bossy
• 7:55
  and
• 7:56
  just
• 7:56
  like,
• 7:56
  take
• 7:56
  over
• 7:56
  But
• 7:56
  the
• 7:57
  reality
• 7:57
  is
• 7:58
  that's
• 7:58
  just
• 7:58
  not
• 7:58
  how
• 7:58
  it
• 7:58
  works.
• 7:59
  Our
• 7:59
  inner
• 7:59
  leaders,
• 7:59
  they,
• 8:00
  they
• 8:00
  just,
• 8:00
  they,
• 8:00
  they
• 8:01
  sit
• 8:01
  back
• 8:01
  and
• 8:01
  they're
• 8:01
  always
• 8:02
  available
• 8:03
  to
• 8:03
  us.
• 8:04
  Mm-Hmm.
• 8:05
  But
• 8:05
  it
• 8:05
  is
• 8:05
  our
• 8:05
  protector
• 8:06
  parts
• 8:06
  that
• 8:07
  tend
• 8:07
  to
• 8:07
  be
• 8:07
  more
• 8:07
  aggressive
• 8:08
  and
• 8:08
  will
• 8:08
  jump
• 8:08
  into
• 8:09
  the
• 8:09
  driver's
• 8:09
  seat
• 8:09
  and
• 8:09
  our
• 8:09
  authentic
• 8:10
  self
• 8:10
  will
• 8:11
  be
• 8:11
  like,
• 8:11
  okay.
• 8:12
  You
• 8:12
  know,
• 8:12
  you
• 8:12
  go
• 8:13
  ahead
• 8:13
  and
• 8:13
  do
• 8:13
  what
• 8:13
  you
• 8:13
  need
• 8:13
  to
• 8:13
  do.
• 8:14
  I'm
• 8:14
  here
• 8:14
  when
• 8:14
  you
• 8:14
  need
• 8:15
  me.
• 8:15
  Interesting.
• 8:16
  So
• 8:16
  let's
• 8:17
  talk
• 8:17
  about
• 8:17
  the
• 8:17
  protector
• 8:17
  for
• 8:17
  a
• 8:18
  second
• 8:18
  because
• 8:18
  that's
• 8:18
  one
• 8:18
  I
• 8:18
  haven't
• 8:19
  really
• 8:19
  encountered
• 8:19
  a
• 8:19
  lot
• 8:19
  before.
• 8:20
  What,
• 8:21
  what
• 8:21
  is
• 8:21
  it
• 8:21
  typically
• 8:22
  protecting?
• 8:22
  Are
• 8:22
  we
• 8:22
  talking
• 8:23
  about
• 8:23
  like
• 8:23
  some
• 8:24
  of
• 8:24
  that
• 8:24
  hidden
• 8:24
  pain
• 8:24
  or
• 8:25
  what,
• 8:25
  what's
• 8:25
  going
• 8:25
  on
• 8:25
  there?
• 8:25
  Yeah.
• 8:26
  Yeah.
• 8:26
  It's
• 8:26
  pretty.
• 8:26
  So
• 8:26
  if
• 8:27
  you
• 8:27
  think
• 8:27
  of
• 8:27
  it
• 8:27
  as
• 8:27
  just
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  visual
• 8:28
  parts,
• 8:29
  like
• 8:29
  actual
• 8:29
  people,
• 8:29
  like
• 8:29
  actual
• 8:30
  parts
• 8:30
  of
• 8:30
  you
• 8:31
  imagine,
• 8:32
  you
• 8:32
  know,
• 8:32
  kind
• 8:32
  of
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  guard
• 8:33
  part
• 8:33
  of
• 8:33
  you,
• 8:33
  a
• 8:33
  protector
• 8:34
  part
• 8:35
  and
• 8:35
  behind
• 8:35
  that
• 8:36
  part.
• 8:37
  Is
• 8:37
  literally
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  child,
• 8:39
  like
• 8:39
  for
• 8:39
  you,
• 8:39
  it's
• 8:39
  probably
• 8:40
  going
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  be
• 8:40
  a
• 8:40
  little
• 8:40
  girl,
• 8:41
  a
• 8:41
  younger
• 8:41
  version
• 8:41
  of
• 8:42
  yourself
• 8:43
  that
• 8:43
  is
• 8:43
  holding
• 8:44
  pure
• 8:45
  pain.
• 8:46
  And
• 8:46
  when
• 8:46
  I
• 8:46
  say
• 8:46
  pure
• 8:47
  pain,
• 8:47
  that's,
• 8:47
  Martha
• 8:48
  Beck,
• 8:48
  I
• 8:48
  don't
• 8:48
  know
• 8:48
  if
• 8:48
  you're
• 8:48
  familiar
• 8:49
  with
• 8:49
  her
• 8:49
  as
• 8:49
  a
• 8:49
  coach.
• 8:49
  She
• 8:49
  talks
• 8:50
  about
• 8:50
  clean
• 8:50
  pain
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  dirty
• 8:51
  pain.
• 8:51
  And
• 8:52
  so,
• 8:52
  you
• 8:52
  know,
• 8:53
  dirty
• 8:53
  pain
• 8:53
  can
• 8:53
  be
• 8:53
  the
• 8:54
  pain
• 8:54
  that
• 8:54
  we
• 8:54
  tend
• 8:54
  to
• 8:55
  just
• 8:55
  generate
• 8:56
  with
• 8:56
  our
• 8:57
  thoughts
• 8:57
  over
• 8:57
  and
• 8:57
  over
• 8:58
  and
• 8:58
  over
• 8:58
  again.
• 8:59
  Like,
• 8:59
  oh,
• 8:59
  he's
• 8:59
  never
• 9:00
  going
• 9:00
  to
• 9:00
  love
• 9:00
  me.
• 9:00
  Oh,
• 9:01
  I'm
• 9:01
  never
• 9:01
  going
• 9:01
  to
• 9:01
  have
• 9:01
  a
• 9:01
  relationship.
• 9:02
  Or,
• 9:02
  oh,
• 9:02
  this
• 9:02
  is
• 9:02
  never
• 9:03
  good.
• 9:03
  Like,
• 9:03
  you're,
• 9:03
  you're,
• 9:04
  you're
• 9:04
  constantly
• 9:04
  reigniting
• 9:05
  the
• 9:06
  pain.
• 9:06
  We
• 9:06
  call
• 9:06
  that
• 9:07
  dirty
• 9:07
  pain
• 9:07
  because
• 9:07
  that's
• 9:07
  actually
• 9:08
  driven
• 9:08
  by
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  part.
• 9:09
  Right.
• 9:11
  Versus
• 9:11
  clean
• 9:12
  pain
• 9:12
  is
• 9:12
  our
• 9:13
  littles
• 9:13
  are
• 9:13
  holding
• 9:14
  just
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  pure
• 9:16
  fear.
• 9:17
  It
• 9:17
  might
• 9:17
  be
• 9:17
  in
• 9:18
  that
• 9:18
  example,
• 9:18
  it
• 9:18
  might
• 9:18
  be
• 9:18
  something
• 9:19
  like,
• 9:20
  like
• 9:20
  I'm
• 9:21
  never
• 9:21
  going
• 9:21
  to
• 9:22
  belong.
• 9:23
  I'm
• 9:23
  never
• 9:23
  going
• 9:24
  to
• 9:25
  be
• 9:25
  a
• 9:25
  part
• 9:25
  of
• 9:25
  a
• 9:25
  community.
• 9:26
  I
• 9:26
  am
• 9:26
  going
• 9:27
  to
• 9:27
  be
• 9:27
  rejected
• 9:28
  and
• 9:28
  abandoned.
• 9:29
  And
• 9:29
  there's
• 9:29
  a
• 9:30
  pure
• 9:31
  fear
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  is
• 9:32
  very
• 9:32
  human.
• 9:34
  You
• 9:34
  know,
• 9:34
  he,
• 9:34
  it
• 9:34
  can
• 9:34
  be
• 9:35
  straight,
• 9:35
  straight
• 9:35
  up
• 9:35
  primal
• 9:36
  human
• 9:36
  fear.
• 9:36
  And
• 9:37
  it
• 9:37
  can
• 9:37
  also
• 9:37
  come
• 9:37
  from
• 9:38
  trauma,
• 9:38
  whatever
• 9:38
  your
• 9:38
  past
• 9:39
  traumas
• 9:39
  are.
• 9:40
  So
• 9:40
  it's
• 9:40
  just,
• 9:40
  and
• 9:40
  you're
• 9:40
  funny.
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  don't
• 9:41
  know
• 9:41
  if
• 9:41
  you
• 9:41
  notice
• 9:41
  like
• 9:42
  my
• 9:42
  voice
• 9:42
  slows
• 9:43
  down
• 9:43
  when
• 9:43
  I
• 9:43
  talk
• 9:44
  about
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  little,
• 9:44
  right.
• 9:45
  Cause
• 9:45
  it's
• 9:45
  just
• 9:45
  like,
• 9:45
  it's
• 9:46
  such
• 9:46
  a
• 9:46
  precious.
• 9:48
  Vulnerable
• 9:48
  tender
• 9:49
  part
• 9:50
  of
• 9:50
  us
• 9:52
  because
• 9:52
  of
• 9:52
  that
• 9:52
  precious
• 9:53
  vulnerability.
• 9:54
  We
• 9:54
  have
• 9:54
  a
• 9:54
  whole
• 9:55
  host
• 9:56
  of
• 9:56
  protectors
• 9:57
  that
• 9:57
  keep
• 9:58
  her
• 9:58
  from
• 9:58
  coming
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  the
• 9:59
  surface
• 9:59
  so
• 9:59
  that
• 10:00
  we
• 10:00
  don't
• 10:00
  have
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  feel
• 10:01
  what
• 10:01
  that
• 10:02
  part
• 10:02
  of
• 10:02
  us
• 10:02
  is
• 10:02
  holding.
• 10:03
  Yeah.
• 10:04
  And
• 10:04
  when
• 10:04
  you
• 10:04
  talk
• 10:04
  about
• 10:05
  that
• 10:05
  little,
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  think,
• 10:06
  Oh,
• 10:06
  that's
• 10:06
  why
• 10:06
  it
• 10:07
  feels
• 10:07
  the
• 10:07
  way
• 10:07
  it
• 10:07
  does
• 10:07
  when
• 10:07
  I
• 10:08
  leave
• 10:08
  a
• 10:08
  therapy
• 10:08
  session
• 10:09
  where
• 10:09
  I
• 10:09
  need
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  go
• 10:09
  like,
• 10:10
  kind
• 10:11
  of
• 10:11
  calmer
• 10:11
  back
• 10:11
  down
• 10:11
  and
• 10:12
  put
• 10:12
  her,
• 10:12
  put
• 10:12
  her
• 10:12
  back
• 10:12
  away.
• 10:14
  Yes.
• 10:14
  Exactly.
• 10:14
  Open
• 10:15
  up.
• 10:15
  And
• 10:15
  you're
• 10:15
  like,
• 10:16
  Oh,
• 10:16
  I
• 10:16
  actually
• 10:16
  can't
• 10:16
  function
• 10:17
  like
• 10:17
  this.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:18
  Yes.
• 10:19
  Yes.
• 10:19
  We
• 10:20
  don't,
• 10:20
  most
• 10:20
  of
• 10:20
  us
• 10:20
  don't
• 10:21
  go
• 10:21
  there
• 10:21
  willingly
• 10:22
  a
• 10:22
  lot.
• 10:23
  Right.
• 10:24
  Exactly.
• 10:25
  And
• 10:25
  that's
• 10:25
  where
• 10:25
  I
• 10:25
  get
• 10:26
  so
• 10:26
  passionate
• 10:26
  about
• 10:26
  this
• 10:27
  work,
• 10:27
  because
• 10:27
  if
• 10:27
  we
• 10:28
  were
• 10:28
  willing
• 10:28
  to
• 10:28
  learn
• 10:29
  the
• 10:29
  skills
• 10:29
  of
• 10:29
  how
• 10:30
  to
• 10:30
  go
• 10:30
  there
• 10:31
  safely,
• 10:32
  how
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  go
• 10:32
  there
• 10:32
  without
• 10:33
  retraumatizing
• 10:34
  ourselves,
• 10:35
  it
• 10:35
  actually
• 10:35
  gives
• 10:35
  us
• 10:36
  access
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  the
• 10:37
  best
• 10:38
  parts
• 10:38
  of
• 10:38
  ourselves
• 10:39
  that
• 10:39
  can
• 10:39
  create
• 10:39
  whatever
• 10:40
  we
• 10:40
  want
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  in
• 10:40
  this
• 10:40
  world.
• 10:41
  Right.
• 10:41
  It's
• 10:42
  just.
• 10:42
  Yeah.
• 10:43
  Yeah.
• 10:43
  We
• 10:43
  need
• 10:43
  to
• 10:43
  have
• 10:44
  the
• 10:44
  skills
• 10:44
  to
• 10:44
  go
• 10:44
  there
• 10:44
  more.
• 10:45
  Yeah.
• 10:45
  Yeah.
• 10:46
  And
• 10:46
  then
• 10:46
  that
• 10:46
  protector
• 10:47
  maybe
• 10:47
  doesn't
• 10:47
  have
• 10:47
  to
• 10:47
  work
• 10:47
  so
• 10:48
  hard
• 10:48
  because
• 10:49
  a
• 10:49
  hundred
• 10:50
  percent
• 10:50
  that
• 10:50
  little
• 10:50
  is
• 10:50
  a
• 10:50
  little
• 10:50
  more
• 10:51
  accessible.
• 10:51
  Okay.
• 10:52
  All
• 10:52
  right.
• 10:52
  So
• 10:52
  let's
• 10:52
  talk
• 10:52
  about
• 10:53
  that
• 10:53
  little,
• 10:53
  a
• 10:53
  little
• 10:53
  bit.
• 10:54
  And
• 10:54
  you
• 10:54
  mentioned
• 10:55
  understanding
• 10:55
  how
• 10:55
  to
• 10:55
  deal
• 10:56
  with
• 10:56
  that
• 10:56
  in
• 10:56
  a
• 10:56
  coaching
• 10:57
  scenario.
• 10:57
  How
• 10:57
  can
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  help
• 10:58
  us
• 10:58
  understand
• 10:58
  that?
• 10:59
  Yeah,
• 10:59
  so,
• 11:00
  so
• 11:01
  in
• 11:01
  internal
• 11:01
  family
• 11:02
  systems,
• 11:02
  when
• 11:02
  they
• 11:02
  talk
• 11:02
  about
• 11:03
  the
• 11:03
  exile
• 11:03
  or
• 11:03
  the
• 11:03
  little,
• 11:04
  part
• 11:04
  of
• 11:05
  the
• 11:05
  goal
• 11:05
  in
• 11:05
  the
• 11:06
  therapeutic
• 11:06
  model
• 11:07
  is
• 11:07
  that
• 11:07
  you
• 11:07
  are
• 11:07
  doing
• 11:08
  what's
• 11:08
  called
• 11:08
  unburdening
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  little.
• 11:09
  You're
• 11:10
  actually
• 11:10
  getting
• 11:10
  into
• 11:11
  their
• 11:11
  traumas,
• 11:11
  into
• 11:11
  their
• 11:12
  stories,
• 11:12
  letting
• 11:12
  them
• 11:13
  tell
• 11:13
  that
• 11:13
  trauma
• 11:13
  story
• 11:14
  so
• 11:15
  that
• 11:15
  it
• 11:15
  can
• 11:15
  be
• 11:15
  healed
• 11:16
  and
• 11:16
  then
• 11:16
  integrated
• 11:16
  into
• 11:17
  the
• 11:17
  whole,
• 11:18
  so
• 11:18
  that's,
• 11:19
  that's
• 11:19
  the
• 11:19
  therapy
• 11:20
  version.
• 11:21
  The,
• 11:22
  mistake
• 11:22
  I've
• 11:22
  seen,
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  lot
• 11:23
  of
• 11:24
  coaches
• 11:24
  make,
• 11:24
  especially
• 11:24
  as
• 11:24
  I've
• 11:25
  started
• 11:25
  teaching,
• 11:26
  parts
• 11:26
  work
• 11:26
  or
• 11:26
  people
• 11:26
  that
• 11:27
  are
• 11:27
  new
• 11:27
  to
• 11:27
  learning
• 11:27
  parts
• 11:28
  work
• 11:28
  is
• 11:29
  that
• 11:30
  because
• 11:30
  there's
• 11:31
  this
• 11:31
  line
• 11:31
  that
• 11:31
  they're
• 11:32
  like,
• 11:32
  coaching
• 11:32
  is
• 11:32
  not
• 11:33
  therapy.
• 11:34
  Then
• 11:34
  there's
• 11:34
  a
• 11:34
  sense
• 11:34
  of
• 11:34
  like,
• 11:35
  well,
• 11:35
  I
• 11:35
  can't
• 11:35
  have
• 11:35
  anything
• 11:35
  to
• 11:35
  do
• 11:36
  with
• 11:36
  the
• 11:36
  little,
• 11:37
  because
• 11:37
  she's
• 11:37
  holding
• 11:37
  all
• 11:38
  of
• 11:38
  the
• 11:38
  trauma.
• 11:38
  I'm
• 11:39
  not
• 11:39
  supposed
• 11:39
  to
• 11:39
  get
• 11:39
  into
• 11:39
  the
• 11:39
  story.
• 11:41
  And
• 11:41
  I
• 11:41
  push
• 11:42
  on
• 11:42
  that
• 11:43
  and.
• 11:44
  What
• 11:44
  I
• 11:44
  mean
• 11:44
  by
• 11:44
  that
• 11:44
  is
• 11:45
  I
• 11:45
  still
• 11:45
  never
• 11:45
  work
• 11:46
  with
• 11:46
  my
• 11:46
  clients
• 11:46
  or
• 11:46
  encourage
• 11:47
  my,
• 11:47
  my
• 11:47
  coaches
• 11:48
  to,
• 11:48
  to
• 11:49
  get
• 11:49
  into
• 11:49
  the
• 11:49
  little
• 11:50
  story,
• 11:51
  but
• 11:51
  if
• 11:51
  you
• 11:52
  overshoot
• 11:53
  it
• 11:53
  and
• 11:53
  you
• 11:53
  just
• 11:53
  pretend
• 11:53
  a
• 11:54
  little
• 11:54
  doesn't
• 11:54
  exist
• 11:54
  at
• 11:55
  all,
• 11:56
  that's
• 11:56
  when
• 11:57
  you,
• 11:57
  you
• 11:57
  don't
• 11:57
  have
• 11:58
  any
• 11:58
  space
• 11:58
  for
• 11:58
  healing
• 11:59
  or
• 11:59
  growth.
• 12:00
  And
• 12:00
  so
• 12:00
  in
• 12:00
  the
• 12:00
  coaching
• 12:01
  world.
• 12:02
  The
• 12:02
  mantra
• 12:02
  is
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  acknowledge
• 12:04
  the
• 12:04
  existence
• 12:05
  of
• 12:05
  the
• 12:05
  little,
• 12:06
  I'm
• 12:06
  not
• 12:06
  going
• 12:06
  to
• 12:07
  talk
• 12:07
  to
• 12:07
  her
• 12:07
  about
• 12:07
  her
• 12:07
  story.
• 12:08
  I'm
• 12:08
  not
• 12:08
  going
• 12:08
  to
• 12:08
  talk
• 12:09
  to
• 12:09
  her
• 12:09
  about
• 12:09
  her
• 12:09
  pain.
• 12:09
  Like
• 12:10
  if
• 12:10
  I
• 12:10
  was
• 12:10
  coaching
• 12:10
  you,
• 12:11
  I'm
• 12:11
  not
• 12:12
  going
• 12:12
  to
• 12:12
  coach
• 12:13
  you
• 12:13
  into
• 12:13
  the,
• 12:14
  the,
• 12:14
  the
• 12:14
  trauma
• 12:15
  story
• 12:15
  of
• 12:15
  your
• 12:16
  little,
• 12:16
  right?
• 12:16
  That's
• 12:17
  going
• 12:17
  to
• 12:17
  be
• 12:17
  your
• 12:17
  therapist's
• 12:17
  job,
• 12:18
  but
• 12:18
  I
• 12:19
  am
• 12:19
  going
• 12:19
  to
• 12:19
  encourage
• 12:20
  you
• 12:20
  in
• 12:20
  whatever
• 12:21
  scenario
• 12:21
  you're
• 12:21
  bringing
• 12:22
  to
• 12:22
  me
• 12:22
  to
• 12:23
  acknowledge
• 12:23
  it.
• 12:24
  Who
• 12:24
  is
• 12:24
  the
• 12:24
  little
• 12:25
  underneath
• 12:25
  this
• 12:26
  that
• 12:26
  has
• 12:27
  the
• 12:27
  vulnerable
• 12:28
  emotion?
• 12:28
  Who
• 12:28
  has
• 12:29
  the
• 12:29
  fear?
• 12:29
  Who
• 12:30
  has
• 12:30
  the
• 12:30
  shame?
• 12:31
  Who
• 12:31
  has
• 12:31
  the,
• 12:31
  like,
• 12:32
  who
• 12:32
  is
• 12:32
  that?
• 12:33
  Can
• 12:33
  we
• 12:33
  get
• 12:34
  you
• 12:34
  to
• 12:34
  just
• 12:34
  turn
• 12:35
  to
• 12:35
  her
• 12:35
  and
• 12:35
  acknowledge
• 12:36
  her
• 12:36
  existence?
• 12:37
  That's
• 12:38
  step
• 12:38
  one,
• 12:38
  acknowledge
• 12:39
  she
• 12:39
  exists.
• 12:40
  Step
• 12:40
  two
• 12:40
  is
• 12:41
  nurturing.
• 12:42
  That
• 12:42
  you're
• 12:43
  not
• 12:43
  hearing
• 12:44
  the
• 12:44
  story,
• 12:44
  you're
• 12:44
  not
• 12:44
  solving
• 12:45
  the
• 12:45
  trauma,
• 12:45
  you
• 12:45
  are
• 12:46
  nurturing,
• 12:46
  meaning
• 12:47
  I'm
• 12:47
  just
• 12:47
  offering
• 12:48
  you
• 12:48
  gentle,
• 12:49
  tender
• 12:50
  energy
• 12:52
  and
• 12:52
  letting
• 12:52
  you
• 12:52
  know
• 12:52
  you're
• 12:52
  not
• 12:52
  alone.
• 12:54
  I'm
• 12:54
  acknowledging
• 12:54
  you
• 12:55
  and
• 12:55
  I'm
• 12:55
  sending
• 12:55
  you
• 12:55
  so
• 12:56
  much
• 12:56
  love.
• 12:56
  I'm
• 12:56
  not
• 12:56
  doing
• 12:56
  anything.
• 12:57
  I'm
• 12:57
  not
• 12:58
  fixing
• 12:58
  any
• 12:58
  problems.
• 12:59
  I'm
• 12:59
  simply
• 13:00
  being
• 13:00
  with
• 13:01
  you
• 13:02
  and
• 13:02
  letting
• 13:02
  you
• 13:02
  know
• 13:04
  you
• 13:04
  exist.
• 13:05
  I'm
• 13:05
  here.
• 13:06
  And
• 13:06
  it's
• 13:06
  okay
• 13:07
  right
• 13:07
  now.
• 13:08
  Oh,
• 13:09
  that
• 13:09
  is
• 13:09
  beautiful.
• 13:10
  And
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  love
• 13:11
  that
• 13:11
  distinction.
• 13:12
  Like,
• 13:12
  we're
• 13:12
  not
• 13:13
  going
• 13:13
  to
• 13:13
  dive
• 13:13
  in
• 13:14
  because
• 13:14
  we're
• 13:14
  not
• 13:15
  qualified
• 13:16
  to
• 13:16
  go
• 13:16
  into
• 13:16
  the
• 13:16
  trauma,
• 13:16
  but
• 13:18
  we
• 13:18
  can
• 13:18
  ignore
• 13:18
  her.
• 13:19
  She
• 13:19
  is
• 13:20
  sometimes
• 13:21
  crying
• 13:21
  very
• 13:21
  loudly
• 13:22
  for
• 13:22
  assistance
• 13:23
  and
• 13:23
  help
• 13:23
  and
• 13:24
  causing
• 13:24
  a
• 13:24
  lot
• 13:24
  of
• 13:24
  issues
• 13:25
  behind
• 13:25
  the,
• 13:25
  behind
• 13:26
  the
• 13:26
  scene.
• 13:26
  And
• 13:26
  it's
• 13:27
  so
• 13:27
  interesting
• 13:27
  because
• 13:28
  I
• 13:28
  talk
• 13:28
  about
• 13:29
  business
• 13:29
  all
• 13:29
  the
• 13:29
  time
• 13:29
  and
• 13:30
  you
• 13:30
  don't
• 13:30
  think
• 13:30
  there's
• 13:30
  a
• 13:30
  lot
• 13:31
  of
• 13:31
  emotional
• 13:31
  work
• 13:31
  to
• 13:32
  be
• 13:32
  done
• 13:32
  around
• 13:32
  business,
• 13:32
  but
• 13:33
  boy,
• 13:33
  is
• 13:33
  there
• 13:33
  ever,
• 13:34
  Oh,
• 13:36
  I
• 13:36
  have
• 13:36
  no
• 13:36
  idea
• 13:36
  what
• 13:37
  you're
• 13:37
  talking
• 13:37
  about,
• 13:37
  buddy.
• 13:39
  We
• 13:39
  actually
• 13:39
  did
• 13:40
  a
• 13:40
  social
• 13:40
  media
• 13:40
  post
• 13:41
  about
• 13:41
  this
• 13:41
  recently.
• 13:41
  There
• 13:41
  was
• 13:42
  a
• 13:42
  coach
• 13:42
  who
• 13:42
  was
• 13:42
  like,
• 13:42
  well,
• 13:42
  I
• 13:42
  just
• 13:43
  don't
• 13:43
  see
• 13:43
  a
• 13:43
  lot
• 13:43
  of,
• 13:44
  you
• 13:44
  know,
• 13:44
  need
• 13:44
  to
• 13:45
  really
• 13:45
  dive
• 13:45
  deep
• 13:46
  on
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  emotional
• 13:46
  side
• 13:46
  of
• 13:47
  things
• 13:47
  when
• 13:47
  building
• 13:47
  a
• 13:47
  business.
• 13:47
  I'm
• 13:47
  like,
• 13:48
  I
• 13:48
  do.
• 13:49
  Is
• 13:49
  it
• 13:49
  just
• 13:49
  me?
• 13:49
  I
• 13:50
  know
• 13:50
  it's
• 13:50
  not
• 13:50
  me
• 13:50
  because
• 13:50
  I
• 13:51
  have
• 13:51
  clients
• 13:51
  coming
• 13:51
  to
• 13:51
  me
• 13:52
  saying
• 13:52
  the
• 13:52
  same
• 13:52
  thing.
• 13:53
  I
• 13:53
  want
• 13:53
  to
• 13:53
  get
• 13:53
  started
• 13:53
  with
• 13:54
  this
• 13:54
  thing.
• 13:54
  And
• 13:54
  I
• 13:55
  just.
• 13:55
  I
• 13:55
  don't
• 13:55
  feel
• 13:56
  worthy
• 13:56
  or
• 13:56
  I
• 13:57
  start
• 13:57
  to
• 13:57
  cry
• 13:57
  every
• 13:57
  time
• 13:58
  or
• 13:58
  something
• 13:59
  is
• 13:59
  coming
• 13:59
  up.
• 14:00
  And,
• 14:00
  my
• 14:00
  next
• 14:01
  question
• 14:01
  for
• 14:01
  you
• 14:01
  was
• 14:01
  going
• 14:01
  to
• 14:01
  be,
• 14:02
  how
• 14:02
  do
• 14:02
  we,
• 14:03
  how
• 14:03
  do
• 14:03
  we
• 14:03
  allow
• 14:03
  for
• 14:03
  more
• 14:03
  self
• 14:04
  compassion
• 14:04
  with
• 14:04
  ourselves?
• 14:04
  But
• 14:05
  I
• 14:05
  think
• 14:05
  you
• 14:05
  already
• 14:05
  hit
• 14:05
  on
• 14:05
  it.
• 14:06
  It's
• 14:06
  just
• 14:06
  acknowledging
• 14:07
  that
• 14:07
  she's
• 14:07
  there.
• 14:08
  Yeah,
• 14:08
  100%.
• 14:09
  And
• 14:10
  you
• 14:10
  know,
• 14:10
  the
• 14:10
  metaphor
• 14:11
  that
• 14:11
  I'll
• 14:11
  use
• 14:12
  with
• 14:12
  my
• 14:12
  clients
• 14:13
  and
• 14:13
  so
• 14:13
  say
• 14:13
  this
• 14:13
  to
• 14:14
  your
• 14:14
  listeners
• 14:14
  as
• 14:15
  well
• 14:15
  is
• 14:15
  to
• 14:15
  imagine
• 14:16
  if
• 14:16
  you
• 14:16
  were
• 14:16
  to
• 14:17
  walk
• 14:17
  up
• 14:18
  and
• 14:18
  see
• 14:18
  a
• 14:18
  small
• 14:18
  child
• 14:19
  sitting
• 14:20
  on
• 14:20
  the
• 14:20
  edge
• 14:20
  of
• 14:20
  a
• 14:20
  sidewalk,
• 14:21
  and
• 14:22
  that
• 14:22
  child
• 14:22
  was
• 14:22
  crying,
• 14:23
  maybe
• 14:23
  they're
• 14:23
  holding
• 14:24
  a
• 14:24
  stuffed
• 14:24
  animal,
• 14:26
  you
• 14:26
  know,
• 14:26
  what
• 14:26
  would
• 14:26
  you
• 14:26
  do?
• 14:27
  Most
• 14:28
  of
• 14:28
  us
• 14:29
  would,
• 14:29
  well,
• 14:30
  actually
• 14:30
  the
• 14:30
  first
• 14:31
  impulse
• 14:31
  would
• 14:31
  be,
• 14:31
  okay,
• 14:32
  what's
• 14:32
  going
• 14:32
  on?
• 14:32
  How
• 14:32
  do
• 14:32
  I
• 14:32
  fix
• 14:33
  this?
• 14:33
  Right?
• 14:33
  Where's
• 14:33
  the
• 14:33
  parent?
• 14:34
  Right?
• 14:34
  Where's
• 14:35
  the
• 14:35
  parent?
• 14:35
  Right?
• 14:36
  But
• 14:36
  aside
• 14:36
  from
• 14:36
  that,
• 14:36
  assuming
• 14:36
  there's
• 14:37
  no
• 14:37
  fixing,
• 14:38
  you're
• 14:38
  not
• 14:38
  fixing,
• 14:39
  what
• 14:40
  would
• 14:40
  we
• 14:40
  do?
• 14:40
  Oh
• 14:40
  my
• 14:41
  gosh,
• 14:41
  we
• 14:41
  would
• 14:41
  go
• 14:42
  up
• 14:42
  and
• 14:42
  sit
• 14:42
  next
• 14:42
  to
• 14:43
  that
• 14:43
  child.
• 14:43
  We
• 14:43
  would
• 14:43
  put
• 14:44
  our
• 14:44
  arm
• 14:44
  around
• 14:44
  that
• 14:45
  child.
• 14:45
  We
• 14:45
  would
• 14:45
  comfort
• 14:46
  that
• 14:46
  child.
• 14:47
  We
• 14:47
  would
• 14:47
  let
• 14:47
  them
• 14:48
  cry.
• 14:49
  We
• 14:49
  would
• 14:49
  let
• 14:49
  them
• 14:50
  just,
• 14:50
  Hey,
• 14:50
  I'm
• 14:50
  here.
• 14:50
  I
• 14:51
  got
• 14:51
  you.
• 14:52
  Right.
• 14:52
  So
• 14:52
  that
• 14:52
  they
• 14:52
  can,
• 14:53
  they
• 14:53
  can
• 14:53
  get
• 14:53
  themselves
• 14:54
  regulated
• 14:54
  and
• 14:55
  then,
• 14:55
  you
• 14:55
  know,
• 14:55
  knowing
• 14:55
  how
• 14:56
  to
• 14:56
  move
• 14:56
  forward.
• 14:57
  I
• 14:57
  define
• 14:57
  self
• 14:58
  compassion
• 14:58
  as
• 14:58
  the
• 14:59
  gentle
• 14:59
  nurturing
• 14:59
  energy
• 15:00
  that
• 15:00
  we
• 15:00
  offer
• 15:00
  to
• 15:01
  our
• 15:01
  parts
• 15:01
  of
• 15:01
  self.
• 15:02
  In
• 15:02
  this
• 15:02
  context,
• 15:03
  we're
• 15:03
  talking
• 15:03
  about
• 15:04
  offering
• 15:04
  gentle
• 15:04
  nurturing
• 15:05
  energy
• 15:05
  to
• 15:05
  the
• 15:06
  little,
• 15:06
  the
• 15:06
  little
• 15:06
  sitting
• 15:07
  on
• 15:07
  the
• 15:07
  sidewalk,
• 15:08
  but
• 15:08
  we
• 15:08
  also
• 15:09
  offer
• 15:09
  gentle
• 15:09
  nurturing
• 15:10
  energy
• 15:10
  to
• 15:10
  our
• 15:10
  parts.
• 15:12
  Like
• 15:12
  we
• 15:12
  have
• 15:12
  an
• 15:12
  inner
• 15:12
  critic
• 15:13
  that
• 15:13
  is
• 15:13
  just
• 15:13
  eviscerating
• 15:14
  us
• 15:14
  all
• 15:14
  the
• 15:14
  time.
• 15:15
  Most
• 15:15
  of
• 15:15
  us
• 15:15
  want
• 15:16
  to
• 15:16
  be
• 15:16
  like,
• 15:16
  Oh
• 15:16
  my
• 15:16
  God,
• 15:17
  get
• 15:17
  her
• 15:17
  off
• 15:17
  the
• 15:17
  bus.
• 15:18
  Yeah.
• 15:19
  Shut
• 15:19
  up.
• 15:20
  I'll
• 15:20
  get
• 15:21
  on
• 15:21
  a
• 15:21
  soapbox.
• 15:21
  There's
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  lot
• 15:22
  of
• 15:22
  people
• 15:22
  that
• 15:22
  say,
• 15:22
  like,
• 15:23
  just
• 15:23
  shut
• 15:23
  up
• 15:23
  your
• 15:23
  inner
• 15:23
  critic.
• 15:24
  No,
• 15:24
  you
• 15:24
  actually
• 15:25
  build
• 15:25
  a
• 15:25
  relationship
• 15:26
  with
• 15:26
  your
• 15:26
  inner
• 15:27
  critic.
• 15:27
  You
• 15:27
  offer
• 15:28
  it
• 15:28
  compassion.
• 15:29
  You
• 15:29
  offer
• 15:29
  it
• 15:29
  understanding.
• 15:30
  You
• 15:30
  get
• 15:31
  to,
• 15:31
  you
• 15:31
  get
• 15:31
  curious
• 15:32
  about
• 15:32
  what's
• 15:32
  going
• 15:32
  on
• 15:33
  with
• 15:33
  this
• 15:33
  critic.
• 15:33
  What
• 15:34
  is
• 15:34
  it
• 15:34
  really
• 15:34
  trying
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  do
• 15:35
  here?
• 15:35
  And
• 15:36
  you're
• 15:36
  still
• 15:36
  offering
• 15:37
  tender,
• 15:37
  nurturing
• 15:38
  energy
• 15:38
  to
• 15:38
  that
• 15:38
  part
• 15:39
  as
• 15:39
  well.
• 15:39
  As
• 15:39
  well
• 15:40
  as
• 15:40
  the
• 15:40
  part
• 15:40
  that
• 15:40
  it's,
• 15:41
  the
• 15:41
  little
• 15:41
  that
• 15:41
  it's
• 15:41
  protecting
• 15:42
  that's
• 15:42
  behind
• 15:43
  it.
• 15:43
  Yes.
• 15:44
  Oh
• 15:44
  my
• 15:44
  goodness.
• 15:45
  This
• 15:45
  is
• 15:45
  reminding
• 15:45
  me
• 15:45
  of
• 15:46
  an
• 15:46
  experience
• 15:46
  I
• 15:46
  had
• 15:46
  not
• 15:46
  long
• 15:47
  ago
• 15:47
  where
• 15:48
  I
• 15:48
  made
• 15:48
  a
• 15:48
  mistake
• 15:48
  and
• 15:49
  all,
• 15:49
  all
• 15:49
  this.
• 15:50
  Junk
• 15:50
  came
• 15:51
  up.
• 15:51
  There
• 15:51
  was
• 15:51
  shame
• 15:52
  and
• 15:52
  there
• 15:52
  was
• 15:52
  fear
• 15:52
  and
• 15:52
  there
• 15:53
  was
• 15:53
  sadness
• 15:53
  and
• 15:53
  everything.
• 15:54
  And
• 15:54
  just,
• 15:54
  I
• 15:55
  was
• 15:55
  actually
• 15:55
  really
• 15:55
  grateful
• 15:56
  for
• 15:56
  it.
• 15:56
  It
• 15:56
  felt
• 15:56
  awful.
• 15:57
  But
• 15:57
  as
• 15:57
  a
• 15:57
  coach,
• 15:57
  I
• 15:57
  was
• 15:57
  like,
• 15:58
  what
• 15:58
  is
• 15:58
  happening
• 15:58
  here?
• 15:58
  And
• 15:59
  it
• 15:59
  allowed
• 15:59
  me
• 16:00
  some
• 16:00
  of
• 16:00
  that
• 16:00
  insight
• 16:01
  into
• 16:01
  my
• 16:01
  brain.
• 16:01
  It's
• 16:02
  like,
• 16:02
  okay,
• 16:02
  I've
• 16:02
  got
• 16:02
  somebody
• 16:03
  here
• 16:03
  who's
• 16:03
  really
• 16:03
  struggling
• 16:04
  with
• 16:05
  the
• 16:05
  criticism
• 16:06
  I'm
• 16:06
  getting.
• 16:06
  And
• 16:06
  I'm
• 16:06
  criticizing
• 16:07
  myself
• 16:07
  on
• 16:07
  top
• 16:07
  of
• 16:07
  it.
• 16:08
  I've
• 16:08
  got
• 16:08
  another
• 16:08
  person
• 16:08
  here
• 16:09
  who
• 16:09
  person
• 16:09
  got
• 16:10
  another
• 16:10
  part
• 16:10
  of
• 16:10
  me.
• 16:10
  Who's
• 16:11
  like.
• 16:12
  You're
• 16:12
  a
• 16:12
  terrible
• 16:12
  person,
• 16:13
  you
• 16:13
  know,
• 16:13
  and
• 16:13
  another
• 16:13
  part
• 16:13
  that's
• 16:14
  like,
• 16:14
  oh,
• 16:14
  but
• 16:15
  it's
• 16:15
  going
• 16:15
  to
• 16:15
  be
• 16:15
  okay,
• 16:16
  you
• 16:16
  know,
• 16:16
  just
• 16:16
  the
• 16:16
  comforting
• 16:17
  and
• 16:17
  so
• 16:17
  interesting
• 16:18
  to
• 16:18
  just
• 16:18
  kind
• 16:18
  of
• 16:18
  pull
• 16:19
  that
• 16:19
  apart.
• 16:19
  And
• 16:19
  I
• 16:19
  think
• 16:20
  that
• 16:20
  when
• 16:21
  we
• 16:21
  make
• 16:21
  the
• 16:21
  mistake
• 16:21
  of.
• 16:22
  Just
• 16:22
  forging
• 16:23
  ahead
• 16:24
  and
• 16:24
  maybe
• 16:24
  that's
• 16:24
  the
• 16:24
  protector's
• 16:25
  job
• 16:25
  as
• 16:25
  we
• 16:25
  just
• 16:25
  go,
• 16:25
  just,
• 16:26
  just
• 16:26
  push
• 16:26
  it
• 16:26
  aside
• 16:27
  and
• 16:27
  forge
• 16:27
  ahead.
• 16:28
  We
• 16:28
  really
• 16:28
  run
• 16:28
  the
• 16:29
  risk
• 16:29
  of
• 16:29
  that
• 16:29
  causing
• 16:30
  us
• 16:30
  some
• 16:30
  issues
• 16:31
  in
• 16:31
  the
• 16:31
  future,
• 16:31
  as
• 16:32
  most
• 16:32
  of
• 16:32
  us
• 16:32
  have
• 16:32
  attested
• 16:33
  to
• 16:33
  when
• 16:33
  we
• 16:33
  have
• 16:34
  childhood
• 16:34
  stuff
• 16:34
  that
• 16:35
  hasn't
• 16:35
  been
• 16:35
  dealt
• 16:35
  with.
• 16:37
  Because
• 16:37
  when
• 16:37
  you're
• 16:37
  most
• 16:38
  of
• 16:38
  our
• 16:38
  protector
• 16:39
  parts,
• 16:39
  they
• 16:40
  only
• 16:40
  have
• 16:40
  one
• 16:41
  agenda.
• 16:41
  They
• 16:41
  are
• 16:41
  very
• 16:42
  tunnel
• 16:42
  vision
• 16:42
  like
• 16:42
  that
• 16:43
  driven
• 16:43
  push
• 16:43
  ahead,
• 16:43
  like
• 16:44
  just,
• 16:44
  just
• 16:44
  push
• 16:44
  past
• 16:44
  it.
• 16:45
  That's
• 16:45
  her
• 16:45
  job.
• 16:46
  For
• 16:46
  those
• 16:46
  of
• 16:46
  us
• 16:47
  who
• 16:47
  have
• 16:47
  those,
• 16:47
  but
• 16:47
  that
• 16:47
  is
• 16:47
  her,
• 16:48
  her
• 16:48
  sole
• 16:49
  job
• 16:49
  in
• 16:49
  life
• 16:49
  is
• 16:49
  just
• 16:50
  let's
• 16:50
  just
• 16:50
  push
• 16:50
  past
• 16:50
  it.
• 16:51
  But
• 16:51
  the
• 16:51
  reality
• 16:52
  is
• 16:52
  we
• 16:52
  can't
• 16:52
  let
• 16:54
  ideally,
• 16:54
  we
• 16:54
  don't
• 16:55
  want
• 16:55
  any
• 16:55
  single
• 16:56
  protector
• 16:56
  part
• 16:56
  of
• 16:57
  us
• 16:57
  to
• 16:58
  run
• 16:58
  our
• 16:58
  lives
• 16:59
  because
• 16:59
  they're
• 16:59
  so
• 17:00
  near
• 17:00
  they've
• 17:00
  got
• 17:01
  so
• 17:01
  much
• 17:01
  narrow,
• 17:02
  like
• 17:03
  tunnel
• 17:03
  focus.
• 17:03
  We
• 17:04
  really
• 17:04
  want
• 17:04
  to
• 17:05
  have
• 17:05
  our
• 17:05
  inner
• 17:06
  wisdom
• 17:06
  be
• 17:07
  what
• 17:07
  directs
• 17:07
  our
• 17:07
  lives.
• 17:08
  We
• 17:08
  can
• 17:09
  use
• 17:09
  those
• 17:09
  parts,
• 17:10
  those
• 17:10
  protector
• 17:10
  parts
• 17:10
  to
• 17:11
  help.
• 17:11
  execute
• 17:11
  and
• 17:11
  orchestrate
• 17:12
  our
• 17:12
  lives,
• 17:13
  but
• 17:13
  we
• 17:13
  can't
• 17:13
  let
• 17:13
  them
• 17:14
  be
• 17:14
  the
• 17:14
  only
• 17:15
  thing
• 17:15
  that,
• 17:16
  that
• 17:16
  runs
• 17:16
  our
• 17:16
  life.
• 17:16
  Right.
• 17:18
  And
• 17:18
  a
• 17:18
  lot
• 17:18
  of
• 17:18
  people,
• 17:18
  do
• 17:19
  because
• 17:19
  it's
• 17:19
  so
• 17:19
  unconscious.
• 17:20
  Like
• 17:21
  we,
• 17:21
  we,
• 17:21
  most
• 17:22
  people
• 17:22
  who
• 17:22
  can
• 17:22
  tell
• 17:22
  you,
• 17:23
  you
• 17:23
  learn
• 17:23
  this
• 17:23
  concept,
• 17:24
  we
• 17:24
  think
• 17:24
  we're
• 17:24
  just
• 17:24
  one
• 17:25
  person.
• 17:25
  So
• 17:25
  this
• 17:25
  whole
• 17:26
  process
• 17:26
  is
• 17:26
  very,
• 17:27
  very
• 17:27
  unconscious.
• 17:29
  Yes.
• 17:29
  And
• 17:30
  I
• 17:30
  have
• 17:30
  found
• 17:30
  personally,
• 17:31
  it
• 17:31
  has
• 17:31
  been
• 17:31
  so
• 17:31
  freeing
• 17:32
  to
• 17:32
  acknowledge
• 17:32
  those
• 17:33
  parts
• 17:33
  and
• 17:33
  go,
• 17:34
  this
• 17:34
  one
• 17:34
  needs
• 17:34
  a
• 17:34
  little
• 17:34
  bit
• 17:35
  of
• 17:35
  love
• 17:35
  today.
• 17:35
  This
• 17:36
  one
• 17:36
  needs
• 17:36
  a
• 17:36
  little
• 17:36
  bit
• 17:36
  of,
• 17:37
  or
• 17:37
  this
• 17:37
  one
• 17:37
  needs
• 17:37
  to
• 17:38
  be
• 17:38
  driven.
• 17:38
  We
• 17:39
  got
• 17:39
  to
• 17:39
  go
• 17:39
  do
• 17:39
  some
• 17:39
  stuff
• 17:39
  today
• 17:40
  and
• 17:40
  we'll
• 17:40
  deal
• 17:40
  with
• 17:40
  this
• 17:41
  a
• 17:41
  little
• 17:41
  bit
• 17:41
  later.
• 17:41
  If
• 17:41
  we
• 17:41
  don't
• 17:42
  have
• 17:42
  time
• 17:42
  for
• 17:42
  that
• 17:42
  to
• 17:42
  come
• 17:42
  up
• 17:43
  today.
• 17:44
  Later
• 17:44
  on.
• 17:44
  We'll
• 17:44
  pull
• 17:44
  that
• 17:45
  up.
• 17:45
  So
• 17:46
  let's
• 17:46
  go
• 17:46
  back
• 17:46
  to
• 17:46
  that.
• 17:47
  authentic
• 17:47
  self
• 17:47
  for
• 17:47
  just
• 17:48
  a
• 17:48
  second.
• 17:48
  Describe
• 17:49
  what
• 17:49
  she
• 17:49
  looks
• 17:49
  like
• 17:49
  to
• 17:49
  me.
• 17:50
  I
• 17:50
  want
• 17:50
  to
• 17:50
  understand
• 17:50
  her
• 17:50
  a
• 17:50
  little
• 17:51
  bit
• 17:51
  better.
• 17:51
  Yeah.
• 17:52
  Well,
• 17:52
  it's
• 17:52
  funny.
• 17:52
  As
• 17:53
  you
• 17:53
  were
• 17:53
  just
• 17:53
  talking,
• 17:54
  I'm
• 17:54
  like,
• 17:54
  I
• 17:54
  wonder
• 17:54
  if
• 17:54
  Bonnie
• 17:54
  realizes
• 17:55
  she's
• 17:55
  talking
• 17:55
  out
• 17:55
  of
• 17:55
  her
• 17:56
  authentic
• 17:56
  self
• 17:56
  right
• 17:56
  now.
• 17:56
  And
• 17:57
  what
• 17:57
  I
• 17:57
  need
• 17:57
  is
• 17:57
  you
• 17:58
  were
• 17:58
  able
• 17:58
  to
• 17:58
  say,
• 17:59
  well,
• 17:59
  I've
• 17:59
  got
• 17:59
  this
• 18:00
  part
• 18:00
  that
• 18:00
  is
• 18:00
  feeling
• 18:01
  like,
• 18:01
  Oh
• 18:01
  my
• 18:01
  gosh,
• 18:01
  I
• 18:01
  can't
• 18:01
  believe
• 18:02
  that,
• 18:02
  that
• 18:02
  you
• 18:02
  did
• 18:03
  that.
• 18:03
  I've
• 18:03
  got
• 18:03
  another
• 18:03
  part.
• 18:03
  That's
• 18:04
  like
• 18:04
  beating
• 18:04
  yourself
• 18:05
  up.
• 18:05
  You've
• 18:05
  got
• 18:05
  another
• 18:05
  part
• 18:05
  that's
• 18:05
  saying,
• 18:06
  Oh,
• 18:06
  it's
• 18:06
  okay.
• 18:07
  The
• 18:07
  part
• 18:07
  of
• 18:07
  you
• 18:08
  or
• 18:08
  the
• 18:08
  aspect
• 18:08
  of
• 18:09
  you
• 18:09
  that's
• 18:09
  able
• 18:09
  to
• 18:10
  see
• 18:10
  all
• 18:11
  the
• 18:11
  parts
• 18:11
  at
• 18:11
  play
• 18:12
  is
• 18:12
  an
• 18:13
  observer,
• 18:13
  right?
• 18:13
  You're
• 18:14
  kind
• 18:14
  of
• 18:14
  away
• 18:15
  from
• 18:15
  yourself
• 18:15
  and
• 18:15
  you're
• 18:16
  looking
• 18:16
  at
• 18:16
  all
• 18:16
  of
• 18:17
  the
• 18:17
  players
• 18:18
  and
• 18:18
  it
• 18:18
  is
• 18:18
  that
• 18:18
  observer
• 18:19
  energy
• 18:20
  that
• 18:20
  is
• 18:20
  a
• 18:21
  starting
• 18:21
  place
• 18:21
  for
• 18:22
  your
• 18:22
  authentic
• 18:22
  self.
• 18:23
  When
• 18:23
  you're
• 18:23
  able
• 18:23
  to
• 18:23
  like,
• 18:24
  not
• 18:24
  be
• 18:24
  the
• 18:25
  shame,
• 18:25
  not
• 18:26
  be
• 18:26
  the
• 18:26
  driver,
• 18:27
  but
• 18:27
  actually
• 18:27
  recognize,
• 18:28
  Oh,
• 18:29
  I
• 18:29
  see
• 18:30
  that
• 18:30
  part
• 18:30
  of
• 18:30
  me
• 18:30
  that
• 18:30
  feels
• 18:31
  shame.
• 18:31
  And
• 18:31
  I
• 18:31
  see
• 18:32
  that
• 18:32
  driver.
• 18:32
  So
• 18:32
  it's
• 18:33
  that
• 18:33
  observer
• 18:33
  part
• 18:33
  is
• 18:34
  where
• 18:34
  to
• 18:34
  start.
• 18:35
  That
• 18:36
  just,
• 18:36
  that's
• 18:36
  the
• 18:36
  very
• 18:36
  beginning
• 18:37
  going
• 18:37
  beyond
• 18:38
  that.
• 18:38
  When
• 18:38
  we
• 18:38
  really
• 18:38
  want
• 18:39
  to
• 18:39
  tap
• 18:39
  into
• 18:40
  the
• 18:40
  fullness
• 18:40
  of
• 18:41
  who
• 18:41
  our
• 18:41
  inner
• 18:41
  leader
• 18:41
  is,
• 18:42
  our
• 18:42
  deepest
• 18:42
  wisdom,
• 18:43
  that
• 18:43
  full
• 18:43
  authentic
• 18:44
  self,
• 18:44
  you
• 18:45
  are
• 18:45
  really
• 18:45
  looking
• 18:46
  at,
• 18:47
  IFS
• 18:47
  and
• 18:47
  I
• 18:47
  use
• 18:47
  this
• 18:48
  as
• 18:48
  well,
• 18:48
  or
• 18:48
  sorry,
• 18:48
  internal
• 18:49
  family
• 18:49
  systems.
• 18:50
  And
• 18:50
  then
• 18:50
  I
• 18:50
  use
• 18:50
  it
• 18:50
  as
• 18:50
  well,
• 18:51
  has
• 18:51
  what
• 18:51
  are
• 18:51
  called
• 18:52
  the
• 18:52
  eight
• 18:52
  C's.
• 18:53
  So
• 18:53
  it's
• 18:53
  eight
• 18:53
  qualities
• 18:54
  that
• 18:55
  start
• 18:55
  with
• 18:55
  the
• 18:55
  letter
• 18:55
  C
• 18:56
  to
• 18:56
  let
• 18:56
  you
• 18:56
  know,
• 18:57
  if
• 18:57
  you
• 18:57
  are
• 18:57
  tapped
• 18:58
  into
• 18:59
  your
• 18:59
  highest
• 18:59
  self,
• 19:00
  into
• 19:00
  your
• 19:00
  authentic
• 19:00
  self,
• 19:01
  the
• 19:02
  most
• 19:02
  important,
• 19:02
  this
• 19:02
  is
• 19:02
  my
• 19:02
  opinion,
• 19:03
  the
• 19:03
  most
• 19:03
  important
• 19:04
  three,
• 19:04
  easy
• 19:05
  to
• 19:05
  remember
• 19:05
  three
• 19:05
  things
• 19:05
  and
• 19:06
  eight
• 19:06
  things,
• 19:07
  is
• 19:07
  calm,
• 19:09
  curious,
• 19:10
  and
• 19:10
  compassionate.
• 19:13
  So
• 19:13
  if
• 19:13
  you
• 19:13
  can
• 19:13
  lean
• 19:14
  into
• 19:14
  that
• 19:14
  observer
• 19:15
  energy
• 19:16
  and
• 19:16
  then
• 19:17
  check
• 19:17
  in
• 19:17
  with
• 19:17
  yourself
• 19:18
  and
• 19:18
  say,
• 19:18
  do
• 19:19
  I
• 19:19
  feel
• 19:19
  calm?
• 19:20
  Am
• 19:21
  I
• 19:21
  able
• 19:21
  to
• 19:21
  be
• 19:21
  curious
• 19:22
  about
• 19:23
  either
• 19:23
  what's
• 19:23
  going
• 19:24
  on?
• 19:25
  Am
• 19:25
  I
• 19:25
  able
• 19:25
  to
• 19:25
  be
• 19:25
  curious
• 19:25
  about
• 19:26
  this
• 19:26
  part
• 19:26
  of
• 19:26
  me?
• 19:27
  Am
• 19:27
  I
• 19:27
  able
• 19:27
  to
• 19:27
  be
• 19:28
  curious
• 19:28
  about
• 19:28
  this
• 19:29
  person
• 19:29
  that
• 19:29
  is
• 19:29
  driving
• 19:29
  me
• 19:30
  crazy?
• 19:31
  Cause
• 19:31
  we
• 19:31
  cannot
• 19:32
  be
• 19:32
  judgmental
• 19:33
  and
• 19:33
  curious
• 19:33
  at
• 19:33
  the
• 19:33
  same
• 19:33
  time,
• 19:34
  whether
• 19:34
  it's
• 19:34
  ourselves
• 19:35
  or
• 19:35
  others,
• 19:35
  like
• 19:35
  you
• 19:35
  can't
• 19:36
  do
• 19:36
  both.
• 19:36
  So
• 19:37
  can
• 19:37
  you
• 19:37
  be
• 19:37
  curious?
• 19:38
  And
• 19:38
  then
• 19:38
  can
• 19:39
  you
• 19:39
  bring
• 19:39
  compassion?
• 19:40
  Can
• 19:40
  you
• 19:40
  truly
• 19:40
  bring
• 19:41
  compassion
• 19:41
  to
• 19:41
  both
• 19:42
  yourself
• 19:42
  and
• 19:42
  to
• 19:42
  others
• 19:43
  when
• 19:43
  you
• 19:43
  can
• 19:43
  start
• 19:44
  to
• 19:44
  play
• 19:44
  with
• 19:44
  those
• 19:45
  three
• 19:45
  energies
• 19:45
  to
• 19:45
  start
• 19:46
  with,
• 19:46
  that's
• 19:46
  how
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  know,
• 19:47
  you
• 19:48
  can
• 19:48
  tap
• 19:48
  into
• 19:49
  your
• 19:49
  authentic
• 19:50
  self.
• 19:51
  Oh,
• 19:51
  that
• 19:52
  is
• 19:52
  fascinating.
• 19:52
  And
• 19:52
  I'm
• 19:53
  going
• 19:53
  to
• 19:53
  put
• 19:53
  those
• 19:53
  on
• 19:53
  a
• 19:53
  sticky
• 19:53
  note
• 19:54
  and
• 19:54
  slap
• 19:54
  them
• 19:54
  on
• 19:54
  my
• 19:54
  computer
• 19:55
  and
• 19:55
  my
• 19:55
  bathroom
• 19:56
  mirror.
• 19:57
  And
• 19:57
  what's
• 19:57
  interesting
• 19:57
  is.
• 19:58
  Those
• 19:58
  three
• 19:59
  are
• 19:59
  actually
• 20:00
  the
• 20:00
  emotions
• 20:00
  that
• 20:01
  I
• 20:01
  tried
• 20:01
  to
• 20:01
  drive
• 20:02
  myself
• 20:02
  from
• 20:02
  in
• 20:03
  coaching
• 20:03
  others
• 20:04
  as
• 20:04
  well,
• 20:04
  right?
• 20:04
  That's
• 20:04
  what
• 20:05
  we're
• 20:05
  taught
• 20:05
  is
• 20:05
  to
• 20:05
  be
• 20:06
  a
• 20:06
  good
• 20:06
  coach.
• 20:06
  You're
• 20:06
  holding
• 20:07
  space
• 20:07
  for
• 20:07
  someone
• 20:07
  and
• 20:07
  you
• 20:07
  are
• 20:08
  calm
• 20:08
  and
• 20:08
  curious
• 20:08
  and
• 20:08
  compassionate.
• 20:09
  There's
• 20:09
  no
• 20:09
  judgment.
• 20:10
  There's
• 20:10
  no
• 20:10
  trying
• 20:10
  to
• 20:10
  change
• 20:11
  their
• 20:11
  story.
• 20:11
  There's
• 20:11
  no,
• 20:12
  you
• 20:12
  know,
• 20:12
  trying
• 20:13
  to
• 20:13
  figure
• 20:13
  out
• 20:13
  what's
• 20:13
  wrong
• 20:13
  with
• 20:13
  them.
• 20:14
  And
• 20:14
  if
• 20:14
  no
• 20:15
  problem,
• 20:16
  right?
• 20:16
  Yes.
• 20:17
  Yes.
• 20:17
  If
• 20:17
  only
• 20:17
  we
• 20:17
  could
• 20:18
  do
• 20:18
  that
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  ourselves.
• 20:19
  So,
• 20:19
  so
• 20:19
  when
• 20:20
  we're
• 20:20
  coaching
• 20:20
  others,
• 20:21
  it
• 20:21
  looks
• 20:21
  like
• 20:21
  that
• 20:22
  when
• 20:22
  we
• 20:22
  coach
• 20:22
  ourselves
• 20:23
  the
• 20:23
  same.
• 20:24
  Yes.
• 20:24
  Yep.
• 20:25
  That's
• 20:25
  exactly
• 20:25
  right.
• 20:25
  And
• 20:25
  that's,
• 20:26
  you
• 20:26
  know,
• 20:26
  when
• 20:26
  we're
• 20:26
  talking
• 20:27
  about
• 20:27
  parts
• 20:27
  work,
• 20:28
  when
• 20:28
  I'm
• 20:28
  working
• 20:28
  with
• 20:28
  my
• 20:28
  clients,
• 20:29
  the
• 20:29
  most
• 20:29
  important
• 20:30
  thing
• 20:30
  and
• 20:30
  the
• 20:30
  first
• 20:31
  thing
• 20:31
  that
• 20:31
  I
• 20:31
  encourage
• 20:32
  them
• 20:32
  to
• 20:32
  do
• 20:32
  is
• 20:32
  to
• 20:32
  find
• 20:33
  the
• 20:33
  connection
• 20:33
  to
• 20:33
  their
• 20:33
  authentic
• 20:34
  self.
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  have
• 20:35
  a
• 20:35
  guided
• 20:35
  imagery
• 20:36
  that
• 20:36
  I
• 20:36
  either
• 20:37
  give
• 20:37
  us
• 20:37
  a
• 20:37
  recording
• 20:37
  or
• 20:37
  I
• 20:38
  walk
• 20:38
  them
• 20:38
  through,
• 20:39
  on
• 20:39
  the
• 20:39
  call
• 20:39
  and
• 20:39
  then
• 20:40
  we
• 20:40
  talk
• 20:40
  about
• 20:40
  it.
• 20:41
  It's,
• 20:41
  you
• 20:41
  know,
• 20:41
  it's,
• 20:41
  it's
• 20:42
  actually
• 20:42
  just
• 20:42
  as
• 20:43
  building
• 20:43
  a
• 20:43
  beautiful
• 20:43
  scene
• 20:44
  where
• 20:44
  you're
• 20:44
  actually
• 20:45
  you're
• 20:45
  regulating
• 20:46
  your
• 20:46
  nervous
• 20:46
  system.
• 20:47
  I
• 20:47
  mean,
• 20:48
  to
• 20:48
  be
• 20:48
  calm,
• 20:49
  curious,
• 20:49
  and
• 20:49
  compassionate,
• 20:50
  you
• 20:50
  have
• 20:50
  to
• 20:50
  have
• 20:51
  a
• 20:51
  regulated
• 20:51
  nervous
• 20:51
  system.
• 20:52
  And
• 20:52
  so
• 20:53
  anything
• 20:53
  you
• 20:53
  can
• 20:53
  do
• 20:54
  to
• 20:54
  get
• 20:54
  your
• 20:54
  nervous
• 20:54
  system
• 20:55
  regulated
• 20:55
  is
• 20:55
  going
• 20:56
  to
• 20:56
  give
• 20:56
  you
• 20:56
  access
• 20:57
  to
• 20:57
  your
• 20:57
  authentic
• 20:58
  self.
• 20:58
  So
• 20:59
  what,
• 20:59
  whatever
• 21:00
  the
• 21:00
  process
• 21:01
  is,
• 21:01
  whether
• 21:01
  it's
• 21:01
  the
• 21:01
  guided
• 21:01
  imagery
• 21:02
  or
• 21:02
  having
• 21:02
  a
• 21:02
  conversation
• 21:03
  or
• 21:03
  getting
• 21:04
  my
• 21:04
  clients
• 21:04
  out
• 21:04
  in
• 21:04
  nature,
• 21:05
  literally
• 21:06
  nature
• 21:06
  is
• 21:06
  such
• 21:06
  a
• 21:06
  great
• 21:06
  regulator.
• 21:08
  So
• 21:08
  that
• 21:08
  they
• 21:08
  have
• 21:08
  access
• 21:09
  to
• 21:09
  that
• 21:09
  authentic
• 21:09
  self
• 21:09
  because
• 21:10
  guess
• 21:11
  where
• 21:11
  our
• 21:11
  self
• 21:11
  compassion
• 21:12
  lies.
• 21:12
  Our
• 21:13
  source
• 21:13
  of
• 21:13
  self
• 21:14
  compassion
• 21:14
  is
• 21:15
  our
• 21:15
  authentic
• 21:15
  self.
• 21:16
  We're
• 21:16
  not
• 21:17
  having
• 21:17
  our
• 21:17
  parts.
• 21:18
  Our
• 21:18
  inner
• 21:18
  critic
• 21:18
  is
• 21:18
  not
• 21:19
  going
• 21:19
  to
• 21:19
  offer
• 21:19
  self
• 21:19
  compassion,
• 21:20
  right?
• 21:21
  Right.
• 21:21
  Our
• 21:21
  shame
• 21:21
  part
• 21:22
  is
• 21:22
  not
• 21:22
  going
• 21:22
  to
• 21:22
  offer
• 21:22
  self
• 21:23
  compassion.
• 21:23
  Like
• 21:23
  the
• 21:23
  source
• 21:24
  of
• 21:24
  our
• 21:25
  self
• 21:25
  compassion
• 21:25
  comes
• 21:26
  from
• 21:26
  our
• 21:26
  authentic
• 21:26
  self.
• 21:27
  So
• 21:28
  the
• 21:28
  first
• 21:29
  step,
• 21:29
  and
• 21:29
  it's
• 21:29
  a
• 21:29
  lifelong
• 21:30
  ongoing
• 21:31
  step,
• 21:31
  is
• 21:32
  to
• 21:32
  know
• 21:33
  and
• 21:33
  connect
• 21:34
  with
• 21:34
  your
• 21:35
  authentic
• 21:35
  self.
• 21:36
  Yes.
• 21:37
  Yes.
• 21:37
  Okay.
• 21:38
  That
• 21:38
  is
• 21:38
  amazing.
• 21:39
  And
• 21:39
  I
• 21:39
  think
• 21:39
  you
• 21:39
  said
• 21:39
  you
• 21:40
  can
• 21:40
  offer
• 21:40
  this
• 21:40
  guided
• 21:40
  imagery
• 21:41
  to
• 21:41
  our
• 21:42
  listeners,
• 21:42
  right?
• 21:42
  You've
• 21:42
  got
• 21:42
  to
• 21:42
  download
• 21:43
  for
• 21:43
  that.
• 21:43
  Awesome.
• 21:44
  Okay.
• 21:44
  Yeah.
• 21:44
  We
• 21:44
  will
• 21:44
  put
• 21:44
  the
• 21:45
  link
• 21:45
  to
• 21:45
  that
• 21:45
  in
• 21:45
  the
• 21:45
  show
• 21:45
  notes.
• 21:46
  But
• 21:46
  I
• 21:46
  also
• 21:46
  want
• 21:47
  to
• 21:47
  ask
• 21:47
  you,
• 21:47
  let's
• 21:47
  shift
• 21:47
  into
• 21:47
  business
• 21:48
  here
• 21:48
  for
• 21:48
  a
• 21:48
  second.
• 21:48
  Cause
• 21:49
  we
• 21:49
  always
• 21:49
  talk
• 21:49
  about
• 21:49
  that
• 21:49
  on
• 21:49
  this
• 21:50
  podcast.
• 21:51
  How
• 21:51
  can
• 21:52
  this
• 21:52
  parts
• 21:52
  work
• 21:53
  and,
• 21:53
  and
• 21:53
  really
• 21:53
  tuning
• 21:53
  into
• 21:54
  the
• 21:54
  authentic
• 21:54
  self?
• 21:54
  How
• 21:55
  can
• 21:55
  that
• 21:55
  help
• 21:55
  us
• 21:55
  with
• 21:55
  all
• 21:56
  these
• 21:56
  negative
• 21:56
  emotions
• 21:57
  that
• 21:57
  are
• 21:57
  coming
• 21:57
  up
• 21:58
  while
• 21:58
  building
• 21:58
  a
• 21:58
  business
• 21:59
  like
• 21:59
  fear
• 21:59
  and
• 21:59
  embarrassment
• 22:00
  and
• 22:00
  all
• 22:00
  these
• 22:00
  other
• 22:00
  things?
• 22:02
  So
• 22:02
  there's
• 22:03
  a
• 22:03
  couple
• 22:03
  of
• 22:03
  different
• 22:03
  ways.
• 22:04
  When
• 22:04
  you're
• 22:04
  an
• 22:04
  entrepreneur
• 22:04
  during
• 22:04
  your
• 22:05
  own
• 22:05
  thing,
• 22:06
  think
• 22:06
  about
• 22:06
  how
• 22:06
  many
• 22:06
  safety
• 22:07
  nets
• 22:07
  are
• 22:07
  not
• 22:07
  there.
• 22:08
  Right.
• 22:08
  Like
• 22:08
  we
• 22:09
  don't,
• 22:09
  we
• 22:09
  don't
• 22:09
  have
• 22:09
  teams,
• 22:09
  we
• 22:09
  don't
• 22:09
  have
• 22:10
  corporate,
• 22:10
  we
• 22:10
  don't
• 22:10
  have
• 22:10
  HR,
• 22:11
  we
• 22:11
  don't
• 22:11
  have
• 22:11
  benefits
• 22:11
  so
• 22:12
  the,
• 22:12
  the
• 22:12
  safety
• 22:13
  structures
• 22:13
  that
• 22:13
  corporations
• 22:14
  offer
• 22:14
  us
• 22:15
  entrepreneurship
• 22:16
  does
• 22:16
  not.
• 22:17
  And
• 22:17
  so
• 22:17
  it
• 22:18
  triggers
• 22:18
  a
• 22:19
  primal,
• 22:20
  like
• 22:20
  not
• 22:21
  just
• 22:21
  what's
• 22:21
  my
• 22:21
  trauma,
• 22:22
  but
• 22:22
  a
• 22:22
  primal
• 22:23
  level.
• 22:24
  Am
• 22:24
  I
• 22:24
  safe?
• 22:25
  Because
• 22:26
  I
• 22:26
  had
• 22:26
  to
• 22:26
  put
• 22:26
  myself
• 22:26
  out
• 22:27
  there.
• 22:27
  I
• 22:27
  actually
• 22:27
  have
• 22:27
  to
• 22:27
  be
• 22:27
  seen
• 22:28
  it.
• 22:28
  If
• 22:28
  I'm
• 22:28
  seen
• 22:29
  and
• 22:29
  rejected,
• 22:30
  I
• 22:30
  will
• 22:30
  die.
• 22:31
  Right.
• 22:31
  And
• 22:31
  that's
• 22:31
  kind
• 22:31
  of,
• 22:31
  that's
• 22:32
  not
• 22:32
  logical,
• 22:32
  but
• 22:33
  that's
• 22:33
  what
• 22:33
  happens
• 22:33
  primally.
• 22:35
  And
• 22:35
  so
• 22:35
  there's
• 22:35
  something
• 22:36
  unique
• 22:36
  about
• 22:36
  having
• 22:36
  your
• 22:37
  own
• 22:37
  business
• 22:37
  that
• 22:38
  just
• 22:38
  activates
• 22:39
  deep
• 22:40
  level,
• 22:41
  primal
• 22:41
  emotions
• 22:42
  of
• 22:42
  your
• 22:42
  littles
• 22:43
  that
• 22:44
  gets
• 22:44
  brought
• 22:44
  up
• 22:44
  in
• 22:44
  ways
• 22:45
  that
• 22:45
  nothing,
• 22:45
  not
• 22:46
  many
• 22:46
  other
• 22:46
  things
• 22:46
  bring
• 22:46
  it
• 22:47
  up.
• 22:47
  Yeah.
• 22:48
  Cause
• 22:48
  you're
• 22:48
  out
• 22:48
  on
• 22:49
  your
• 22:49
  own.
• 22:49
  All
• 22:49
  of
• 22:49
  a
• 22:49
  sudden
• 22:50
  when
• 22:50
  you're
• 22:50
  working
• 22:51
  in
• 22:51
  business,
• 22:51
  the
• 22:51
  first
• 22:51
  thing
• 22:51
  you
• 22:52
  want
• 22:52
  to
• 22:52
  do
• 22:52
  is
• 22:52
  build
• 22:52
  the
• 22:53
  relationship
• 22:53
  with
• 22:53
  your
• 22:53
  authentic
• 22:53
  self,
• 22:54
  because
• 22:54
  guess
• 22:55
  what?
• 22:55
  Building
• 22:55
  a
• 22:55
  business.
• 22:57
  It's
• 22:57
  not
• 22:58
  easy.
• 22:58
  It's
• 22:58
  got
• 22:58
  some
• 22:58
  challenges
• 22:59
  to
• 22:59
  it,
• 22:59
  well,
• 23:00
  if
• 23:00
  we
• 23:00
  want
• 23:00
  to
• 23:00
  have
• 23:01
  the
• 23:01
  wisdom
• 23:01
  to
• 23:01
  know
• 23:02
  how
• 23:02
  to
• 23:02
  handle
• 23:02
  those
• 23:02
  challenges,
• 23:03
  if
• 23:03
  we
• 23:03
  want
• 23:03
  to
• 23:04
  have
• 23:04
  the
• 23:04
  courage
• 23:04
  to
• 23:04
  know
• 23:05
  how
• 23:05
  to
• 23:05
  handle
• 23:05
  those
• 23:05
  challenges,
• 23:06
  we
• 23:06
  have
• 23:07
  to
• 23:07
  be
• 23:07
  able
• 23:07
  to
• 23:07
  access
• 23:08
  our
• 23:08
  authentic
• 23:08
  self.
• 23:09
  That's
• 23:09
  where
• 23:09
  the
• 23:09
  answers
• 23:10
  lie.
• 23:11
  So
• 23:11
  the
• 23:11
  business
• 23:11
  that
• 23:12
  we're
• 23:12
  all
• 23:12
  wanting
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  build.
• 23:14
  That
• 23:14
  wisdom
• 23:15
  of
• 23:15
  what
• 23:15
  that
• 23:15
  is
• 23:16
  actually
• 23:16
  lives
• 23:17
  within
• 23:17
  our
• 23:17
  authentic
• 23:18
  self.
• 23:18
  So
• 23:19
  that's
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  first
• 23:19
  step
• 23:19
  is
• 23:20
  you
• 23:20
  have
• 23:20
  to
• 23:20
  be
• 23:20
  able
• 23:20
  to
• 23:21
  connect
• 23:21
  with
• 23:21
  that
• 23:21
  part
• 23:21
  of
• 23:21
  you
• 23:22
  to
• 23:22
  know
• 23:22
  what
• 23:22
  it
• 23:22
  is
• 23:22
  I'm
• 23:22
  even
• 23:23
  driving
• 23:23
  toward,
• 23:23
  well,
• 23:24
  then
• 23:24
  enters
• 23:25
  all
• 23:26
  the
• 23:26
  protector
• 23:27
  parts,
• 23:27
  so
• 23:28
  fear
• 23:28
  comes
• 23:29
  up.
• 23:29
  Imposter
• 23:30
  syndrome
• 23:30
  comes
• 23:31
  up.
• 23:32
  Inner
• 23:32
  critics
• 23:33
  come
• 23:33
  up.
• 23:33
  Perfectionism
• 23:35
  comes
• 23:35
  up.
• 23:35
  Like
• 23:35
  you
• 23:35
  could,
• 23:36
  we
• 23:36
  can
• 23:36
  make
• 23:36
  a
• 23:36
  whole
• 23:36
  list
• 23:37
  of
• 23:37
  things
• 23:37
  that
• 23:37
  come
• 23:37
  up
• 23:37
  when
• 23:37
  you're
• 23:38
  trying
• 23:38
  to
• 23:38
  build
• 23:38
  a
• 23:38
  business,
• 23:39
  well,
• 23:40
  if
• 23:40
  you're
• 23:40
  not
• 23:40
  aware
• 23:40
  of
• 23:40
  parts
• 23:41
  work,
• 23:42
  What
• 23:42
  tends
• 23:42
  to
• 23:42
  happen
• 23:43
  is
• 23:43
  we
• 23:43
  just
• 23:43
  think,
• 23:43
  Oh,
• 23:43
  well,
• 23:44
  I've
• 23:44
  just
• 23:44
  been,
• 23:44
  hijacked,
• 23:45
  or
• 23:45
  I'm
• 23:45
  just
• 23:46
  in
• 23:46
  this
• 23:46
  place.
• 23:46
  I'm
• 23:47
  just
• 23:47
  in
• 23:47
  this
• 23:47
  place
• 23:48
  of
• 23:48
  who
• 23:48
  am
• 23:48
  I?
• 23:49
  I'm
• 23:49
  an
• 23:49
  imposter.
• 23:50
  I
• 23:50
  don't
• 23:50
  know
• 23:50
  enough.
• 23:50
  God,
• 23:50
  that
• 23:51
  person
• 23:51
  knows
• 23:51
  so
• 23:51
  much
• 23:51
  more
• 23:51
  than
• 23:52
  me.
• 23:52
  Let
• 23:52
  me
• 23:52
  just
• 23:52
  compare
• 23:52
  myself
• 23:53
  to
• 23:53
  them.
• 23:53
  Like,
• 23:53
  this
• 23:53
  is
• 23:53
  never
• 23:54
  going
• 23:54
  to,
• 23:54
  I
• 23:54
  just,
• 23:54
  I'm
• 23:54
  an
• 23:54
  awful,
• 23:55
  I
• 23:55
  can't
• 23:55
  never,
• 23:55
  right?
• 23:56
  Like
• 23:56
  we
• 23:56
  had,
• 23:56
  we
• 23:57
  go
• 23:57
  down
• 23:57
  this
• 23:58
  spiral.
• 23:58
  And
• 23:59
  if
• 23:59
  we
• 23:59
  think
• 24:00
  that's
• 24:00
  just
• 24:00
  us,
• 24:01
  that
• 24:01
  it's
• 24:01
  going
• 24:02
  down
• 24:02
  that
• 24:02
  spiral,
• 24:03
  how
• 24:03
  do
• 24:03
  we
• 24:04
  stop
• 24:04
  it?
• 24:04
  Yeah.
• 24:05
  One
• 24:05
  thing
• 24:06
  I've
• 24:06
  noticed,
• 24:06
  too,
• 24:06
  with
• 24:06
  clients
• 24:07
  is
• 24:07
  that
• 24:07
  sometimes
• 24:07
  they
• 24:08
  think
• 24:08
  that's
• 24:08
  the
• 24:08
  sign
• 24:09
  that
• 24:09
  they're
• 24:09
  not
• 24:09
  supposed
• 24:09
  to
• 24:10
  do
• 24:10
  this.
• 24:11
  And
• 24:11
  I'm
• 24:12
  like,
• 24:12
  no,
• 24:12
  no,
• 24:12
  no,
• 24:12
  no,
• 24:13
  this
• 24:13
  is
• 24:13
  normal.
• 24:14
  Yeah.
• 24:15
  Well,
• 24:15
  and
• 24:15
  what's
• 24:15
  interesting
• 24:16
  is
• 24:16
  that
• 24:17
  it
• 24:17
  probably
• 24:17
  is
• 24:18
  the
• 24:18
  job
• 24:19
  of
• 24:19
  that
• 24:19
  part
• 24:19
  of
• 24:20
  them
• 24:20
  to
• 24:20
  get
• 24:21
  them
• 24:21
  to
• 24:21
  stop.
• 24:22
  Because
• 24:22
  they're
• 24:22
  actually
• 24:22
  afraid
• 24:23
  of
• 24:23
  something
• 24:23
  much
• 24:23
  bigger.
• 24:24
  And
• 24:24
  so
• 24:24
  if
• 24:24
  they
• 24:25
  can
• 24:25
  convince
• 24:25
  that
• 24:26
  person,
• 24:26
  like,
• 24:27
  Oh,
• 24:27
  I'm
• 24:27
  going
• 24:27
  to
• 24:27
  send
• 24:28
  them
• 24:28
  all
• 24:28
  these
• 24:28
  negative
• 24:29
  feelings
• 24:29
  and
• 24:29
  they'll
• 24:29
  think,
• 24:29
  Oh,
• 24:29
  this
• 24:30
  just
• 24:30
  isn't
• 24:30
  for
• 24:30
  me.
• 24:30
  I'm
• 24:30
  just
• 24:30
  going
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  go
• 24:31
  back
• 24:31
  to
• 24:31
  my
• 24:31
  comfort
• 24:31
  zone.
• 24:32
  Then
• 24:32
  I
• 24:32
  have
• 24:32
  done
• 24:33
  my
• 24:33
  job,
• 24:33
  says
• 24:33
  the
• 24:33
  part,
• 24:34
  right?
• 24:35
  But
• 24:35
  the
• 24:35
  authentic
• 24:36
  self
• 24:36
  is
• 24:36
  going.
• 24:38
  Not
• 24:38
  true.
• 24:38
  This
• 24:38
  is
• 24:38
  going
• 24:38
  to
• 24:38
  come
• 24:38
  back
• 24:39
  and
• 24:39
  haunt
• 24:39
  you
• 24:39
  later.
• 24:39
  You're
• 24:40
  going
• 24:40
  to
• 24:40
  wish
• 24:40
  that
• 24:40
  you,
• 24:41
  you're
• 24:41
  going
• 24:41
  to
• 24:41
  wish
• 24:41
  that
• 24:41
  you
• 24:41
  pushed
• 24:41
  through,
• 24:42
  but
• 24:42
  I'm
• 24:42
  just
• 24:42
  going
• 24:42
  to
• 24:42
  let
• 24:42
  you
• 24:42
  work
• 24:43
  through
• 24:43
  it.
• 24:43
  That's
• 24:43
  right.
• 24:45
  So
• 24:46
  when
• 24:46
  you
• 24:46
  recognize
• 24:47
  when
• 24:47
  you're
• 24:47
  going
• 24:47
  down
• 24:47
  that
• 24:47
  downward
• 24:48
  spiral,
• 24:49
  how
• 24:49
  parts
• 24:49
  where
• 24:49
  it
• 24:49
  can
• 24:49
  help
• 24:50
  this
• 24:50
  is
• 24:50
  if
• 24:50
  you
• 24:50
  recognize,
• 24:51
  oh,
• 24:51
  that's
• 24:52
  actually
• 24:52
  not
• 24:52
  me.
• 24:53
  It's
• 24:53
  a
• 24:53
  part
• 24:53
  of
• 24:53
  me.
• 24:54
  That's
• 24:55
  not
• 24:55
  all
• 24:55
  of
• 24:55
  me.
• 24:56
  And
• 24:56
  if
• 24:56
  you
• 24:56
  can
• 24:56
  start
• 24:56
  to
• 24:56
  get
• 24:56
  that
• 24:56
  separation
• 24:57
  and
• 24:57
  go,
• 24:57
  wow,
• 24:58
  look
• 24:58
  at
• 24:58
  her
• 24:58
  spiral
• 24:59
  down
• 24:59
  the,
• 25:00
  look
• 25:00
  at
• 25:00
  her
• 25:00
  go.
• 25:00
  She
• 25:01
  is
• 25:01
  flipping
• 25:01
  out
• 25:01
  right
• 25:02
  now.
• 25:02
  Like,
• 25:02
  let's
• 25:02
  let
• 25:03
  her
• 25:03
  flip
• 25:03
  out.
• 25:04
  And
• 25:04
  then
• 25:05
  this
• 25:05
  is
• 25:05
  where
• 25:05
  the
• 25:05
  inner
• 25:06
  work
• 25:06
  that
• 25:06
  comes
• 25:06
  is
• 25:07
  that
• 25:07
  we
• 25:07
  don't
• 25:07
  just
• 25:07
  let
• 25:07
  her
• 25:07
  flip
• 25:08
  out
• 25:08
  and
• 25:08
  then
• 25:08
  just
• 25:08
  move
• 25:08
  on
• 25:09
  because
• 25:09
  she'll
• 25:09
  come
• 25:09
  back
• 25:09
  stronger.
• 25:10
  Right.
• 25:10
  But
• 25:11
  what
• 25:11
  we
• 25:11
  do
• 25:11
  is
• 25:11
  in
• 25:12
  from
• 25:12
  the
• 25:12
  place
• 25:12
  of
• 25:12
  our
• 25:12
  authentic
• 25:13
  self,
• 25:13
  we
• 25:14
  build
• 25:14
  a
• 25:14
  relationship
• 25:14
  with
• 25:15
  that
• 25:15
  person.
• 25:15
  We
• 25:15
  build
• 25:16
  a
• 25:16
  relationship
• 25:16
  with
• 25:16
  the
• 25:16
  part
• 25:17
  of
• 25:17
  us
• 25:17
  that
• 25:17
  flips
• 25:17
  out
• 25:18
  or
• 25:18
  is
• 25:18
  in
• 25:18
  so
• 25:18
  much
• 25:19
  fear
• 25:19
  or
• 25:19
  the
• 25:20
  imposter,
• 25:20
  whatever
• 25:20
  it
• 25:20
  is.
• 25:21
  We
• 25:21
  build
• 25:21
  a
• 25:21
  relationship.
• 25:22
  We
• 25:22
  understand
• 25:23
  to
• 25:23
  take
• 25:23
  the
• 25:24
  imposter,
• 25:24
  for
• 25:24
  example,
• 25:25
  we
• 25:25
  would
• 25:25
  ask
• 25:25
  her
• 25:25
  questions
• 25:26
  like,
• 25:26
  what
• 25:26
  is
• 25:26
  it
• 25:26
  you're
• 25:27
  afraid
• 25:27
  of?
• 25:28
  Okay.
• 25:28
  So
• 25:28
  if
• 25:28
  that
• 25:29
  person
• 25:29
  thinks
• 25:29
  we
• 25:29
  don't
• 25:30
  know
• 25:30
  what
• 25:30
  we're
• 25:30
  talking
• 25:30
  about,
• 25:31
  what
• 25:31
  then?
• 25:32
  What's
• 25:32
  the
• 25:32
  concern?
• 25:33
  What's
• 25:33
  the
• 25:33
  worst
• 25:33
  thing
• 25:33
  that
• 25:34
  can
• 25:34
  happen?
• 25:34
  So
• 25:34
  you're
• 25:34
  really
• 25:35
  getting
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  know
• 25:36
  that
• 25:36
  part.
• 25:37
  And
• 25:38
  then
• 25:38
  your
• 25:38
  authentic
• 25:38
  self
• 25:39
  in
• 25:39
  building
• 25:39
  the
• 25:39
  relationship.
• 25:40
  Just
• 25:41
  think
• 25:41
  about
• 25:41
  what
• 25:41
  happens
• 25:41
  if
• 25:42
  you're
• 25:42
  by
• 25:42
  yourself
• 25:42
  and
• 25:42
  you're
• 25:42
  afraid.
• 25:43
  And
• 25:43
  then
• 25:43
  someone
• 25:44
  comes
• 25:44
  along
• 25:44
  and
• 25:44
  says,
• 25:45
  Hey,
• 25:45
  I'm
• 25:45
  here
• 25:45
  with
• 25:45
  you.
• 25:45
  Your
• 25:46
  fear
• 25:46
  goes
• 25:46
  down.
• 25:47
  It's
• 25:47
  the
• 25:47
  same
• 25:48
  thing,
• 25:48
  but
• 25:48
  you're
• 25:48
  doing
• 25:48
  it
• 25:48
  for
• 25:49
  yourself.
• 25:49
  You're
• 25:49
  saying,
• 25:49
  Hey,
• 25:50
  imposter
• 25:50
  part.
• 25:51
  I,
• 25:51
  Oh,
• 25:51
  I
• 25:51
  see
• 25:52
  you.
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  see
• 25:52
  you're
• 25:52
  so
• 25:53
  afraid
• 25:53
  of
• 25:53
  that.
• 25:53
  You
• 25:53
  don't
• 25:54
  know
• 25:54
  what
• 25:54
  you're
• 25:54
  doing.
• 25:55
  I'm
• 25:55
  here
• 25:55
  with
• 25:55
  you.
• 25:56
  And
• 25:56
  then
• 25:56
  the
• 25:57
  imposter
• 25:57
  relaxes.
• 25:59
  And
• 25:59
  then
• 25:59
  when
• 25:59
  the
• 25:59
  imposter
• 26:00
  relaxes,
• 26:01
  you
• 26:01
  know,
• 26:01
  have
• 26:01
  access
• 26:02
  to
• 26:02
  the
• 26:02
  wisdom
• 26:02
  of
• 26:02
  your
• 26:02
  authentic
• 26:03
  self
• 26:03
  about
• 26:03
  how
• 26:03
  to
• 26:03
  move
• 26:04
  forward.
• 26:05
  Yes,
• 26:05
  what
• 26:06
  I've
• 26:06
  noticed
• 26:06
  about
• 26:06
  that
• 26:06
  is
• 26:07
  that
• 26:07
  I
• 26:08
  feel
• 26:08
  like
• 26:08
  the
• 26:08
  critic
• 26:09
  or
• 26:09
  the,
• 26:10
  or
• 26:10
  the
• 26:10
  fear
• 26:10
  based
• 26:10
  part
• 26:11
  or
• 26:11
  whatever
• 26:11
  it
• 26:11
  is
• 26:11
  that's
• 26:12
  sounding
• 26:12
  the
• 26:12
  alarm,
• 26:13
  they
• 26:13
  just
• 26:13
  want
• 26:13
  to
• 26:13
  make
• 26:14
  sure
• 26:14
  you're
• 26:14
  paying
• 26:14
  attention.
• 26:15
  100%.
• 26:15
  Right?
• 26:16
  And
• 26:16
  when
• 26:16
  you
• 26:17
  ignore
• 26:17
  it
• 26:17
  and
• 26:18
  walk
• 26:18
  away,
• 26:18
  they're
• 26:18
  only
• 26:18
  going
• 26:19
  to
• 26:19
  get
• 26:19
  louder.
• 26:20
  Yep,
• 26:20
  they
• 26:21
  sure
• 26:21
  are.
• 26:21
  It's
• 26:21
  stopping
• 26:22
  and
• 26:22
  saying,
• 26:23
  oh,
• 26:23
  I
• 26:23
  see
• 26:23
  you.
• 26:24
  This
• 26:24
  is
• 26:24
  scary
• 26:25
  sometimes,
• 26:25
  isn't
• 26:25
  it?
• 26:26
  Yes.
• 26:26
  This
• 26:26
  does
• 26:27
  make
• 26:27
  me
• 26:27
  feel
• 26:27
  like
• 26:27
  an
• 26:27
  imposter.
• 26:28
  That
• 26:28
  makes
• 26:29
  sense.
• 26:30
  Yes.
• 26:30
  And,
• 26:30
  and
• 26:31
  then
• 26:31
  you
• 26:31
  acknowledge
• 26:31
  they're
• 26:32
  there
• 26:32
  and
• 26:32
  that
• 26:32
  you
• 26:33
  hear
• 26:33
  them
• 26:33
  and
• 26:33
  you're
• 26:33
  going
• 26:34
  to.
• 26:34
  Be
• 26:34
  on
• 26:34
  alert
• 26:35
  for
• 26:35
  it,
• 26:35
  right?
• 26:35
  And
• 26:36
  then
• 26:36
  they
• 26:36
  can
• 26:36
  calm
• 26:36
  down
• 26:36
  a
• 26:36
  little
• 26:37
  bit.
• 26:37
  Okay,
• 26:37
  I
• 26:37
  sounded
• 26:37
  the
• 26:38
  alarm.
• 26:38
  I've
• 26:38
  done
• 26:38
  my
• 26:38
  job.
• 26:39
  Yeah,
• 26:39
  exactly.
• 26:40
  Acknowledgement
• 26:41
  is,
• 26:42
  when
• 26:42
  you're
• 26:42
  doing
• 26:42
  parts
• 26:42
  work,
• 26:43
  acknowledging
• 26:43
  your
• 26:44
  parts,
• 26:44
  whether
• 26:44
  it's
• 26:44
  the
• 26:44
  protector
• 26:45
  parts
• 26:45
  or
• 26:45
  the
• 26:45
  littles,
• 26:46
  acknowledgement
• 26:46
  is
• 26:46
  one
• 26:46
  of
• 26:47
  the
• 26:47
  best
• 26:47
  things
• 26:47
  that
• 26:47
  you
• 26:48
  can
• 26:48
  do.
• 26:48
  Quit
• 26:48
  pushing
• 26:49
  it
• 26:49
  away.
• 26:49
  Acknowledge
• 26:50
  its
• 26:50
  existence.
• 26:51
  Yes.
• 26:51
  And
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  know,
• 26:52
  I,
• 26:52
  I've
• 26:52
  had
• 26:53
  seen
• 26:53
  so
• 26:53
  many
• 26:53
  examples
• 26:54
  of
• 26:54
  loved
• 26:54
  ones
• 26:54
  in
• 26:54
  my
• 26:55
  life
• 26:55
  who
• 26:55
  just
• 26:55
  have
• 26:55
  not
• 26:56
  had
• 26:56
  the
• 26:56
  tools
• 26:56
  necessary
• 26:57
  to
• 26:57
  acknowledge
• 26:58
  these
• 26:58
  different
• 26:58
  parts.
• 26:59
  And
• 26:59
  it's
• 26:59
  become
• 26:59
  destructive
• 27:00
  to
• 27:00
  them
• 27:00
  because
• 27:00
  they
• 27:01
  don't
• 27:01
  have
• 27:01
  the
• 27:01
  tools
• 27:01
  to
• 27:01
  handle
• 27:02
  these
• 27:02
  emotions
• 27:03
  or,
• 27:03
  or
• 27:03
  the
• 27:04
  trauma
• 27:04
  or
• 27:04
  whatever.
• 27:05
  And,
• 27:05
  they
• 27:05
  just
• 27:06
  keep
• 27:06
  shoving
• 27:06
  it
• 27:06
  down
• 27:07
  and
• 27:07
  then
• 27:07
  it
• 27:07
  manifests
• 27:08
  in
• 27:08
  really
• 27:08
  harmful
• 27:09
  ways.
• 27:09
  And
• 27:09
  it's
• 27:09
  so
• 27:09
  sad
• 27:10
  to
• 27:10
  see,
• 27:10
  but
• 27:10
  I
• 27:10
  love,
• 27:11
  love,
• 27:11
  love
• 27:11
  that
• 27:11
  you
• 27:11
  have
• 27:12
  shared
• 27:12
  this
• 27:12
  with
• 27:12
  us.
• 27:13
  You
• 27:13
  are.
• 27:13
  Such
• 27:13
  a
• 27:13
  genius
• 27:14
  that
• 27:14
  I
• 27:14
  could
• 27:14
  talk
• 27:14
  to
• 27:14
  you
• 27:14
  about
• 27:15
  this
• 27:15
  all
• 27:15
  day
• 27:15
  long.
• 27:16
  I
• 27:16
  love
• 27:16
  it.
• 27:17
  I
• 27:17
  think
• 27:17
  it's
• 27:17
  so
• 27:17
  fascinating
• 27:18
  and
• 27:18
  I
• 27:18
  hope
• 27:18
  it
• 27:18
  has
• 27:18
  been
• 27:19
  helpful
• 27:19
  to
• 27:19
  all
• 27:20
  of
• 27:20
  you
• 27:20
  listening
• 27:20
  to
• 27:21
  just
• 27:21
  acknowledge
• 27:22
  those
• 27:22
  parts
• 27:22
  of
• 27:22
  you
• 27:23
  and
• 27:23
  to
• 27:23
  acknowledge
• 27:24
  that
• 27:24
  they're
• 27:24
  doing
• 27:24
  their
• 27:25
  job.
• 27:25
  They're,
• 27:25
  they're
• 27:25
  there
• 27:26
  to
• 27:26
  protect
• 27:26
  you
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  to
• 27:27
  help
• 27:28
  you
• 27:28
  watch
• 27:28
  out
• 27:28
  for
• 27:28
  those
• 27:28
  scary
• 27:29
  things.
• 27:29
  Yes.
• 27:30
  Yes.
• 27:30
  Thank
• 27:31
  you.
• 27:31
  Thank
• 27:31
  you.
• 27:31
  That's
• 27:31
  so
• 27:32
  great.
• 27:32
  Okay.
• 27:32
  Danny,
• 27:33
  before
• 27:33
  we
• 27:33
  let
• 27:33
  you
• 27:33
  go,
• 27:34
  please
• 27:34
  share
• 27:34
  with
• 27:35
  everyone
• 27:35
  where
• 27:35
  they
• 27:35
  can
• 27:35
  find
• 27:35
  you,
• 27:36
  what
• 27:36
  social
• 27:36
  media
• 27:36
  you're,
• 27:37
  on
• 27:37
  and
• 27:37
  where
• 27:37
  your
• 27:38
  website
• 27:38
  is,
• 27:38
  where
• 27:38
  we
• 27:38
  can
• 27:38
  get
• 27:38
  more
• 27:39
  of
• 27:39
  this
• 27:39
  parts
• 27:39
  work
• 27:39
  stuff.
• 27:40
  Yeah.
• 27:40
  So
• 27:40
  my
• 27:40
  website
• 27:41
  is
• 27:41
  Danny
• 27:42
  fake.
• 27:42
  com
• 27:42
  it's
• 27:42
  D
• 27:43
  A
• 27:43
  N
• 27:43
  I
• 27:43
  F
• 27:44
  A
• 27:44
  K
• 27:44
  E.
• 27:44
  com.
• 27:45
  And
• 27:45
  then
• 27:45
  on
• 27:45
  both
• 27:46
  Instagram
• 27:47
  it's
• 27:47
  the
• 27:47
  same
• 27:47
  handle,
• 27:47
  which
• 27:48
  is
• 27:48
  Danny
• 27:48
  fake
• 27:48
  44.
• 27:50
  And
• 27:50
  I'm
• 27:50
  also
• 27:50
  on
• 27:50
  Facebook
• 27:51
  by
• 27:51
  my
• 27:52
  name.
• 27:53
  Awesome.
• 27:53
  So
• 27:54
  we'll
• 27:54
  put
• 27:54
  the
• 27:54
  links
• 27:54
  to
• 27:54
  all
• 27:54
  that,
• 27:55
  including
• 27:55
  to
• 27:55
  your,
• 27:56
  freebie
• 27:57
  that
• 27:57
  you
• 27:57
  have
• 27:57
  offered
• 27:57
  us
• 27:57
  in
• 27:58
  this
• 27:58
  show
• 27:58
  notes.
• 27:58
  Yes.
• 27:58
  So
• 27:58
  thank
• 27:58
  you
• 27:59
  so
• 27:59
  much
• 27:59
  for
• 27:59
  that.
• 27:59
  And,
• 28:00
  I,
• 28:00
  I'm
• 28:00
  telling
• 28:00
  you,
• 28:00
  I'm
• 28:00
  gonna
• 28:01
  do
• 28:01
  more
• 28:01
  of
• 28:01
  this
• 28:01
  and
• 28:01
  we'll
• 28:01
  probably
• 28:02
  have
• 28:02
  you
• 28:02
  on
• 28:02
  again
• 28:02
  because
• 28:02
  it
• 28:03
  feels
• 28:03
  so
• 28:03
  deep.
• 28:03
  Like
• 28:04
  we
• 28:04
  could
• 28:04
  just
• 28:04
  learn
• 28:04
  all
• 28:04
  day
• 28:04
  about
• 28:05
  this.
• 28:05
  Thank
• 28:05
  you
• 28:05
  so
• 28:06
  much
• 28:06
  for
• 28:06
  coming.
• 28:06
  Yes,
• 28:06
  thank
• 28:07
  you.