Latest / Smooth Critical / C1 Ep.17: Strike One

Transcript

C1 Ep.17: Strike One · Smooth Critical

0:19
Welcome back to Smooth Critical. I'm UDM Avni.
0:23
Quick question, Avni, are you OK?
0:26
Avni, are you OK? Are you OK of me?
0:32
I am pumped up and ready for this bloody cage match guys.
0:39
But before we get there. Yeah.
0:42
Cute jump by Van Halen. I don't think we're rich enough
0:46
to afford that, but yeah, everyone do it in your head real
0:49
quick, but let me introduce you to my three gorgeous gladiators.
0:54
He my. It's he my.
0:57
No, it's not. Oh.
1:01
It's Abe. Keep that in.
1:07
Keep that in, keep that. Harry.
1:12
Bonds of Willowinds. And Charlie?
1:16
Bow ahead and jump fuck. Yeah.
1:26
Don't. Worry about it, Charlie.
1:30
Amazing. All right, let's start our
1:33
recap. You all started back in
1:35
Sarvani's room, the blue dragon born who had come back with some
1:38
items from the Rebellion Empire. After her cryptic words to Bond,
1:43
she seemed to fall back in a trance, staring out the window
1:46
and mumbling. Abe approached her and when he
1:49
showed a drawing of his family to her, she pointed at his older
1:52
brother Alphonse, but she stayed staring straight ahead.
1:56
After you left your room, you booked 3 rooms for the evening
2:00
and headed off for some late night shopping.
2:03
You first set up Leather Daddy, a leather store where Bo got
2:06
some new fur lined gloves to mask his metal hands and he got
2:10
his armor embroidered with a bond, which is his safe word.
2:14
And we learned some some interesting things about Bond's
2:17
back story. Yes, you learned a lot about
2:20
Bond's past life as a sexually adventurous dude.
2:24
So Bond really fucked his way around the city is what we
2:27
learn. And.
2:30
There are many ways to deal with grief.
2:32
Got to pass the time somehow. That that that is true.
2:36
When you're on a boat for so long, you don't want to like
2:39
fuck all your Co workers. That's tough.
2:41
You're you're trapped together on this boat, and Bunty also got
2:46
his tricorn pirate hat fitted to his little bean body.
2:50
You then went to a gem store, and only after passing a series
2:53
of checks were you able to find a black Opal that could be used
2:57
for the Revivify spell. This was a smart idea because
3:00
the next place you all went to was the illegal gladiator
3:03
fights. First, you had to very
3:05
delicately and kind of terrifyingly climb down the face
3:09
of the mountain until you got to a parchment store.
3:12
Here, both Bow and Charlie use thieves can't for the very first
3:17
time I think ever in playing D&D right.
3:20
Yes. Doesn't come up often enough,
3:23
unfortunately. Monumental moment for me though.
3:26
I know, incredible. The storekeeper told you to
3:29
observe the next person who came into the store, and you noticed
3:32
a code they used to magically poof into the fighting pits.
3:36
You entered a giant cavern carved into the Cliff itself.
3:39
Looking around this place was different than how Bond's former
3:43
deckhands described it to him. Gone were the merchants who
3:46
wanted some quick excitement. This was full of seedier people,
3:50
and looking above the cage where the matches took place, Bond
3:53
realized why. Pinned to a large beam of wood,
3:57
suspended by rope or two severed Aricochra wings.
4:00
These were the wings of Bearda, the former ruthless boss who ran
4:04
the underground circuit. Someone else had taken over and
4:08
this thought is shaken from your head as you hear someone shout
4:11
new. Competitors, come here and let
4:13
me assess you. And that is where you are now,
4:16
inside this insanely large cavern lit up by these enchanted
4:21
floating balls of light, giving it very nice ambiance besides
4:25
the screaming and the shouting and the blood that's just
4:28
spilling in the cage match down below.
4:30
And you're listening to a Goliath man shouting for
4:33
competitors to come get assessed.
4:36
What do? You do.
4:37
Who do you think they're talking to?
4:39
I thought, I think he was just shouting for anybody who wants
4:41
to come. No.
4:43
OK then should we? And I kind of motion my head
4:47
towards the Goliath man. Yeah, I guess we should figure
4:50
out. OK, hold up.
4:51
You explained the rating system to us.
4:54
Avni, is there like a sign or something about it?
4:57
Do we know about the rating system or right now?
5:00
Yeah, so you guys look over and you see the Goliath man, he is
5:05
just scanning people up and down.
5:07
He's kind of poking at them, prodding at them, asking
5:09
questions, like, do you have any magic on you?
5:13
Any gods that you worship? XY and Z just trying to get a
5:16
feel for like how they would maybe perform.
5:20
So how that works for us is that if you guys just present
5:24
yourself the way you are, you will be graded level 5 because
5:28
that is the level that your characters are and it is the
5:30
easiest way for me to streamline this.
5:32
If you want to present yourself as stronger or weaker, you can
5:36
give deception or persuasion checks after you are assessed.
5:40
There is a giant tote board on the wall that is used to display
5:44
odds for different gladiator fights.
5:46
If you were to fight someone, you're a level.
5:49
If you bet 150 gold pieces, you get 150 gold pieces back.
5:54
Pretty easy. It's it's one to one odds.
5:56
If you were to fight someone one score lower than you, you bet
6:00
150. You only get a 75 profit.
6:02
If you bet someone higher than you, one higher than you, you
6:06
bet 150. You get a $300 profit.
6:09
If you fight someone 2 levels higher than you, you would bet
6:12
150 and get a 450 profit. So the odds are stacked that
6:18
way. There's individual fights and
6:20
there's 2V2 fights. So the tilt board displays a lot
6:25
of names and as people are getting assessed by the Goliath,
6:28
the names are popping up and they're starting to get paired
6:31
off. So you get to choose who you
6:33
want to fight after you're assessed.
6:35
Does it look like this is like we have to do this before
6:39
arriving or can we watch first? You can totally watch first give
6:44
me in. Give me an insight, check or
6:49
investigation. My choice.
6:52
You're just trying to understand how these fights work.
6:55
It's a 12. 16. With a 16, this is going to be
7:00
the next round of fights. So if you don't sign up for
7:03
these fights now, you're going to be waiting here for quite a
7:05
few hours until the next round of assessments begin to see who
7:10
is going to be paired up with who.
7:11
So you can either choose to go now, or you can kind of just
7:14
hang out for a few hours and watch what's happening.
7:17
Got it. And and do we have to sign up
7:18
now if we get assessed or? You don't have to.
7:22
You can get assessed now and then wait till the next match if
7:24
the next round of matches, if that's what you want to do.
7:28
You know that this doesn't go on forever.
7:30
It's decently late at night. I would say by the time you got
7:33
in here and everything, it's probably 10:00 PM.
7:37
You know, they'll probably go until like 2:00 PM or 2:00 AM.
7:41
Excuse me. So if you don't join this batch
7:44
of matches, you'll have to wait till the 2nd batch which will be
7:46
the last batch of the night. I, I say to Abe and Beau, I
7:53
think maybe we should watch, watch some matches 1st and, and
7:56
get a lay of the land, see, see how people are interacting, what
8:00
kind of capabilities people have and, you know, just sort of get
8:05
a sense of the rules of this place.
8:07
I think that might be a good idea.
8:09
Yeah, OK. So why don't, why don't we like
8:12
split up and take a look around everybody just be cool and then
8:16
we can gather back up after the first two fights.
8:19
Yeah, that sounds good to me. OK, who should I go with?
8:26
Hiding. Oh, don't go shout, don't go
8:27
shouting for everyone who wants me.
8:31
Would would do you want to go with one of these two?
8:34
And I kind of just like widen my eyes at both of you like it's
8:38
it's been a lot the last day, especially for the time where
8:41
Bunty was in in my head. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's OK,
8:44
Bunty, come on. OK, let's go me and Bon best
8:50
friends forever. And he looks over at you.
8:53
Babe, My. Best friend.
8:55
Is Bond now? I, I look over to Abe.
8:59
I'm just like waving my hands. I'm like, I don't know what he's
9:02
talking about, man. And I kind of like turned to Bo
9:05
and I'm like, yeah, well, he's my brother.
9:07
So like, he's not really a best friend in in the traditional
9:11
sense, you know? Yeah, no, yeah.
9:14
So, so I'll describe how the cavern looks and you 3 can kind
9:19
of tell me where you want to go. So there's a balcony, it is
9:24
overlooking the fighting pit, which is on the bottom.
9:27
The fighting pit on the bottom is this very, very large cage.
9:34
It is like 80 feet by 80 foot square and it goes up like 100
9:41
feet in the air. There's these giant metal bars.
9:44
There is no roof though to the cage because there are a lot of
9:48
creatures in here that seem like they have innate flying
9:50
abilities. But hanging right above the cage
9:54
are those Aracocrow wings hanging on the board.
9:57
So that kind of signifies like the top of the cage per SE,
10:01
without it actually being closed off.
10:03
And like I said, it's 100 feet in the air.
10:05
So it's just like giant cage match.
10:08
And so when you're on the balcony, the cage is so tall
10:12
that you can still see it. The actual bar is going up.
10:15
So there's the balcony, there's more of the front of the cavern,
10:20
which would kind of face outward per SE.
10:23
Like you're inside the cavern, so you can't see outside, but
10:26
that's the part that would face outward.
10:28
And then there is the more inside part of The Cave where
10:30
there's a crowd of people, a bar that's happening, and just a lot
10:34
of people gathered around. So which of those three places
10:37
would you guys like to go to? Bo, I think I'm going to.
10:40
I think I'm going to come with you.
10:42
OK, Yeah. Yeah, you'll just go with Bo.
10:45
So, Bon, which place do you want to go to out of the three places
10:48
right now? I want to go to the balcony and
10:53
I want to get a good vantage point where I can look at both
10:55
the fights and the people watching the fights.
10:59
Incredible. So we're going to start with
11:02
that. You head up towards the balcony
11:06
with Bunty. There are these very large stone
11:10
steps that are just like carved into the stone itself.
11:13
Like this whole place is just carved out really.
11:16
Besides like the cage and like the bar, there's not really a
11:20
lot of things that have been brought inside.
11:23
This cavern just all been carved.
11:25
So you head up and down, you head up the stairs, there's a
11:27
lot of people going down the opposite way.
11:29
There are people drinking, there's people like shouting,
11:31
there's a lot of screaming that's happening even though
11:33
there's no fight. Everyone's just being very like,
11:36
loud and rowdy. Bunty.
11:38
And I'm going to, I'm going to put him up on my shoulder.
11:40
I want you to look out for anybody who in the fights is
11:46
using magic. Let me know.
11:48
I'm going to be looking around the audience for for something,
11:52
but can you tell me if somebody's using magic in the
11:54
fights, please? Yeah, like in the cage, Sure.
11:58
Yeah, watch the fights. Awesome.
12:01
So Bunty does that, and as you head up the stairs, give me an
12:07
investigation check if you're kind of scoping out the area.
12:12
That is a gnat 1. OK, There's just people around.
12:18
You don't really get like a sense of, you know, there's just
12:22
a lot of types of people around. They're all shoving each other.
12:24
They're chit chatting. Yeah, they're just hanging all.
12:28
Right. I want to go find a seat towards
12:31
kind of like the back of I imagine are there.
12:35
Sorry, are there seats up? Here no.
12:36
Is it standing? OK, this whole thing is more
12:38
like a standing crowds just like kind of pushing their way apart.
12:43
All right, I'm going to try to shove my way up to the front so
12:47
that I can give Bunty a view of the fighting.
12:50
Great. So you kind of shove your way to
12:52
the front. Just give me an opposed strength
12:56
check as there's just like a lot of people around here.
13:00
That's a six. Not so great.
13:04
That's well, I got a 7. So it wasn't like it was like,
13:07
so you're making your way through it and you actually get
13:11
almost to the front when you bonk into this very, very large
13:18
Goliath man. He is covered in what looks like
13:22
to be war paint type of pattern on his face and his shoulders
13:27
and his bare chest. And he is just wearing like a
13:31
skirt at the bottom, like a very thick cloth skirt.
13:35
And he turns around and looks at you, and he goes, why hit glorp?
13:44
I I didn't mean to. Hit Glorp.
13:48
Listen, glorp, glorp. I'm sorry.
13:50
I didn't mean to hit you. I I didn't mean to.
13:55
I'm sorry. Glorp don't like when people hit
13:58
outside cage inside cage of. Course, of course.
14:02
I hit you, Glorp. Hit you inside cage.
14:06
Listen, Glorp. Wow, you, you look strong Globe.
14:09
Do you do me? Are you a good fighter?
14:14
Give me a persuasion check. Blorp's going to give you an
14:18
insight check, but you can imagine the brain skills are not
14:23
very high on this one. That's a 17.
14:27
That's a, that's a -1. So that's a 5.
14:31
Glorp goes yes, glorp, very strong.
14:35
Glorp, big man. Glorp, 9 feet tall and you look
14:41
over at glorp Clorp's like 8 foot 10, but nine feet
14:44
surrounded up. And glorp goes big man, big
14:49
muscle. You some muscle.
14:52
Yeah, some some muscle. I mean, are you, are you
14:56
registered for the fights right now, Globe?
14:59
Glorp watch matches make sure no funny business.
15:05
Oh, OK. Yeah.
15:07
I mean, I can I get that you you look like you'd be really good
15:09
at security. Yeah, and I'm funny business
15:13
and. Bunty starts.
15:15
Tap dancing on your shoulder, I'm funny and Bunty's.
15:21
Gonna roll up Bunty's. Gonna roll a persuasion on Glorp
15:24
real quick. Wow, Bunty gets a 14 on that so
15:29
Lorp goes that funny man E right?
15:34
Not funny business I look for, but funny business.
15:39
Hmm, what kind of funny business do you look for?
15:42
Things not supposed to do. Well, like what?
15:45
What, what, what? Not supposed to do.
15:48
Hmm, no magic on outside help inside cage and you hear a voice
15:55
call out when he says that. Oh, Gloria.
15:59
You're such a stickler for the rules.
16:01
And kind of goes to the side and you see this kenku kind of Raven
16:07
bird and she turns over to you and she goes.
16:11
Are you new here? Yeah, I, I used to come here a
16:14
long time ago before the I point up at the wings, you know,
16:18
before, oh, back in the day. I did that, do you like it?
16:22
She points out to the Ericoker Wings.
16:24
Oh wow, yeah, I I fucking hated Hey, she was awful.
16:30
Oh, Bearda. Yeah, she was so annoying.
16:32
Eric Coker's. They really think that they're
16:34
better than us Kenku's because like, they have the innate
16:36
ability to fly and whatever, but she couldn't fly away from me
16:40
when I chopped off her wings. Wow.
16:47
So yeah, I'm I'm Bond and this is Bondy.
16:53
Fuck, I shouldn't have used our real.
16:54
Names. Oh well.
17:01
And she goes over to you, and she goes.
17:03
Well, my name is Vaidu, and I'm kind of like in charge here
17:07
right now. But you know, Glorp was saying
17:10
no outside interference. And, you know, that's all good
17:13
and all, but like, if you can get away with it, you should do
17:16
it. I think that if you could be
17:18
sneaky about it, you can take over the world.
17:21
And Glorp turns and he goes follow rules.
17:24
Rules made for reason and Vaidu goes.
17:27
I made-up the rules so you can just do whatever you want, Glorp
17:31
goes. I will fight if rules not
17:34
followed and Vaidu goes yes. Glorp, you can fight whatever, I
17:38
don't give a shit. Well, they do.
17:41
And Glorp, I love the operation you're running here and I pat
17:49
Glorp on the like mid back because I can't reach his
17:52
shoulders. You, you keep up the good work,
17:55
Glorp. And you know, if you ever get in
17:58
the ring, let me know. I'd love to.
18:01
I'd certainly love to bet on you.
18:03
Glorp looks over and goes Glorp odds not very good.
18:07
Glorp too strong. Therefore, when Glorp win fight,
18:12
Glorp only get 2 gold piece even if betting 200 gold piece.
18:17
Glorp too strong for own good. And Vady goes, yes, and that is
18:22
why Blorp is kind of like the bodyguard now.
18:24
He didn't really make me a lot of money, but what can you do?
18:29
Yeah. All right.
18:30
Well, I'll see you guys around and do you want?
18:32
To do you want to watch the fight with us up here?
18:35
Are are they in some special area or?
18:37
You can see they have like the best view on the balcony.
18:40
They're very centered right across where the cage is and
18:43
they're looking straight down. Sure.
18:45
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to. And what we do, I'm I'm not
18:49
going to do too much else. I I'm going to keep an eye on
18:52
the fight, but I I also really want to watch kind of Vaidu and
18:55
Glorp and see how they handle things.
18:58
Absolutely. And I want to keep an eye to the
19:01
crowd to see if they catch people using magic versus if I
19:06
can catch people using magic. Sounds good.
19:09
OK, so you're up there, you're watching.
19:13
And as we leave this scene, the last thing that happened is
19:16
Bunty turns to Vaidu and goes. I really like your laugh.
19:21
And then we leave to go to go to AM.
19:26
I am I getting bitch from our telepathic connection?
19:29
Like what the fuck am I feeling from all of what he just did?
19:34
We haven't caught up to any of that yet.
19:36
Yeah, yeah. Beau and Abe, where do you guys
19:40
want to go? Do you want to go kind of
19:41
towards the back of the Tavern or Tavern, the cavern where
19:45
there's a lot of people drinking at the bar?
19:47
Do you want to kind of go explore the more front side of
19:50
it? Is the bar called the Cavern
19:52
Tavern? Yeah, the Cavern Tavern is
19:54
exactly what it's called. Thank you, Harry.
19:57
So naturally, you know we should collect information.
20:02
And it seems like the bar is the best place to do it.
20:04
And I really I can't disrespect a pun that good.
20:08
So perhaps we should go to the Cavern Tavern?
20:11
Yeah, you're in charge, Bo. Let's.
20:13
Go what? Interesting.
20:15
OK, immediately. Dislikes that.
20:19
You could tell I'm kind of sticking close to you right now
20:22
and as we like, move towards the Tavern, I'm trying to avoid like
20:27
bumping into too many people letting you make the path.
20:30
Yeah, Abe, how you feeling in this cavern right now?
20:34
I don't know, it just feels like a way bigger version of Pounce
20:39
and Fury Festival. Just so much more is going on
20:42
and people look way worse than Cluer did.
20:45
Yeah, absolutely. So you stick close to bow and
20:49
you guys make your way to the bar.
20:52
You guys see a very eclectic group of people standing there.
20:57
Like I said before, there's not as many merchants as there used
21:02
to be, according to Bond. Like no one's wearing very
21:05
overtly merchanty clothes. Will you 2 give me an
21:10
investigation check? It's a 19. 2 are the dye, which
21:14
becomes an unnatural 1 for me. A dirty one.
21:18
Incredible. Yeah, dirty. 1.
21:21
So Bo, you are distracted by the bartender.
21:27
The bartender is this half elf man who is very modded out with
21:32
a lot of like enhanced arms as well.
21:34
So you see that he is pouring the drinks really fast.
21:37
You can see kind of his gears turning in his arms.
21:40
He's looks a lot more modified than a lot of the people here.
21:44
And yeah, you were just staring at him while that's happening,
21:48
Abe, what you notice is while there's not a lot of like
21:53
outward merchant clothing that you would kind of see standard,
21:58
there does seem to be a very large group of people about
22:03
11:50, people who are wearing very similar leather jackets and
22:10
on their leather jackets, it says the Chains cartel.
22:16
Can I kind of tap you? Bow.
22:18
Look at that. I say a little, just quietly,
22:20
trying to be discreet. Yeah, but look slowly.
22:24
Yeah, I, I, I turn slowly to what Abe is currently staring
22:28
at. Interesting.
22:31
Like Chains is in like opposed to Breaker of Chains.
22:37
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
22:38
I thought maybe like Chain was one of one of the guys in the
22:41
group and Cartel was one of the guys in Group.
22:43
Like you're a bond thing on your armor and I point at it.
22:47
Nope, no, no, no. You're right.
22:48
You're totally right. I'm sorry.
22:52
But I think you might be right actually.
22:55
Yeah. I mean, of course.
22:58
Well, let's keep all options open, but that's very
23:00
interesting. I agree that's the mark of a
23:02
good investigation. Everything's on the table.
23:06
Exactly. I'm going to, I'm going to go up
23:09
to the bartender. Great, the bartender doesn't
23:13
even notice you as he's just slinging drinks across the bar,
23:16
mostly to the people of the chains cartel.
23:19
They are Downing those drinks. I'm going to just like kind of
23:22
stand there and and just kind of wait with my hand half up.
23:26
Every time that he walks. By.
23:28
At that point I'm just going to kind of snap my fingers loud and
23:32
be like, hey, my friend here is trying to get a drink.
23:35
OK, great. So as you do that, one of the
23:40
members of the Chains cartel, a very large work woman, turns
23:45
over to you and goes, can't you see he's busy serving us?
23:49
And she spits at your feet. Wait your turn.
23:52
Well, yes, but I think you guys are kind of drinking a lot of
23:56
drinks like in consecutive fashion and we haven't even got
23:59
I'm. Going to put my hand on Abe's
24:00
shoulder. I'm going to say to this woman,
24:02
no, you're totally right, Sorry. We'll go over to that side of
24:06
the bar. She turns over to Abe as he's
24:09
speaking and puts her hand on his shoulder and goes.
24:13
We own the place, so we get as many drinks as we want.
24:18
And who are you to come in here? I've never seen you before.
24:20
We know everyone here. What when she goes to put her
24:24
hand on my shoulder, I'm I'm going to move my shoulder away
24:27
if you want me to roll for that. I'm not going to use my hand to
24:30
deflect it or anything, but I'm just rolling it back and she
24:34
tries to, yeah, touch it. That's fine.
24:36
Yeah. You roll back as she tries to
24:37
touch it. Her hand falls limp.
24:39
As she says that. I'm.
24:41
She looks over to you. I didn't realize we were talking
24:43
to the owner. What's your name?
24:45
And why would you need to know that?
24:47
You're the I'm sorry, I just wanted to pay respect.
24:49
No, we are the owners. The.
24:51
Changes. You're not the owner.
24:54
Not me personally. Our leader.
24:56
OK, Vaidu. Oh, is this like a collectivist
24:59
thing? Are you?
24:59
Guys, where's Vaidu? I'm so sorry, what are you
25:02
asking? You, you.
25:04
You first, though. You first.
25:05
Why are you talking to me? Just leave me alone and let me
25:08
drink with the gang in peace. Of course, of course.
25:11
It's not like you talk to us first or anything like that.
25:14
Don't talk to our bartender like that.
25:16
She turns to Abe. You don't snap at service, that
25:19
is. That is rude.
25:22
Couldn't get the words out. Looking for the right thing to
25:24
say. OK, she's going to swing back to
25:27
punch you in the face right now. OK, that is a 23 to hit all.
25:33
Right, I'm going to. I'm going to deflect missile.
25:36
Yeah, she just, she only does a Max of 6 damage, so you stop her
25:42
as she punches and she taps the backs of the 11 other people
25:47
that she's with and they surround you and Bo.
25:51
I kind of whisper to Bo Fuck. Clearly there's been some sort
25:57
of misunderstanding. I would like to talk to Vaidu.
26:00
You don't get to talk to Vaidu. You're getting kicked out of
26:03
here. Can can I?
26:05
No. Do you make that decision or
26:07
does Vaidu? We do so and then where?
26:10
Where is they? Do they go to grab your callers?
26:13
So they're going to do strength checks to kind of grab you, and
26:17
there's six on each of you and you have to make 6 opposing
26:23
checks checks. I'm not going to.
26:24
I'm not going to fight back against them.
26:26
If they want to grab my collar, they grab my collar.
26:30
But listen here. They grab you and lift you.
26:33
Up. I suppose I'll do the same.
26:35
And they grab and lift. Both of you up how?
26:37
How close am I? They start walking with you
26:40
across the crowd, kind of paraded over their head, and
26:46
we're going to pause here and cut back to Bonn where something
26:51
else happens. Bon, a little bit before this
26:55
all starts to happen, I want you to give me a perception check.
26:59
I was going to say you can do it with advantage as Bunty starts
27:06
to point something out to you. And I'm also going to give
27:08
myself guidance. Awesome. 21.
27:13
So you see in the cage match that's happening right now,
27:17
there are two goblins fighting against one another.
27:20
Right now. One of the goblins is looking
27:23
super hurt. And what you notice, and neither
27:26
Vaidu or Glorp notice, is that someone in the crowd does this
27:32
very slight quick hand movement. And you see that the goblin
27:38
that's not doing so well seems to heal up ever so slightly, but
27:43
Glorp and Vaidu do not notice this.
27:46
Does it look like there's anybody else who who sees this
27:49
or anybody else who's looking out for it like do I?
27:52
Do I see any other security that I think is happening or is it
27:55
just these two? So you're asking that question
27:58
and all of a sudden 12 members of the Chain Cartel, who you can
28:02
kind of tell maybe look like the other part of the security of
28:05
this place are or carrying your two friends up and walking them
28:10
towards the front of the cavern. They do, yes.
28:16
What's going on over there? Those, those are my friends up
28:19
there. Oh well, they must.
28:22
Have are they being celebrated? No, no, no.
28:24
Those are my enforcers downstairs.
28:26
They just kind of drink by the bar, keep an eye out.
28:29
And so they're just kind of like probably doing their jobs, you
28:32
know? Oh, shit.
28:33
OK, listen, I'm so sorry. Those are my friends.
28:37
And I know you see the one over there, he's like, he's got the,
28:41
the the robes on and he's, he looks a little like
28:45
rambunctious. He's just going through some
28:49
stuff and he might. I'm sure he accidentally said
28:52
some shit that pissed them off, but like, he's a really good
28:57
fighter and, and I don't think you want to kick him out.
29:00
Like we're we're going to get in the next round of fighting.
29:02
And I feel like he's a good spectacle.
29:06
He's good for the, he's good for the place.
29:08
Is there any chance you could ask them to not kick them out?
29:11
Give me a persuasion check for her.
29:16
I'm so bad at persuasion. That is a 10.
29:19
I think I'm going to have to use my heroic inspiration on that.
29:24
OK. That is 12 and I think I will
29:30
use my bardic as well. Awesome.
29:34
All right, that brings it up to a 17.
29:36
She goes. OK, I'll stop them for now, but
29:40
if he says something else that, you know, bothers me or my crew,
29:45
we won't just kick him out, we will kill him.
29:47
So, you know, we have a two strike system here, or sometimes
29:52
one strike, sometimes no strike and I just kill them.
29:56
But we'll do two strike. We'll do two strike for your
29:58
friend, OK? And you hear her bang a gong,
30:05
like a little gong that's sitting next to her, but she
30:07
smacks it with all of her fury. And the gong just vibrates
30:12
throughout the whole cavern. And everyone stops.
30:16
The match stops, everyone on the ground stops.
30:18
The whole place just goes like deadly silent and she calls over
30:22
to the people that are carrying Beau and Abe and she goes.
30:27
OK, guys, sorry, sorry to stop the match and everything.
30:31
You could just drop off those two people right over there.
30:34
Yeah, just just kind of drop them right now and you know,
30:38
they got one more strike. I talked to someone, they have
30:40
one more strike. So don't worry about it.
30:41
OK, OK, OK. Sorry, sorry.
30:43
Go back to your match. Go back to your match.
30:44
Go back to your match. And after about 10 seconds,
30:48
things kind of pick up again and you see the goblin that was
30:52
initially losing because of that, like momentum that has
30:55
shifted is now winning this fight.
30:58
Damn, it's just like water breaks in the World Cup.
31:00
Hydration breaks is exactly what I was thinking.
31:04
And Beau and Abe, you guys are unceremoniously because they
31:09
they were lifting you kind of all like 6 per each of you kind
31:11
of lifting you above their heads.
31:13
They kind of slam you to the ground and you both take two
31:18
points of damage. The orc woman looks over you,
31:21
Abe, and goes, don't talk to me. Just don't talk to us.
31:25
I just kind of brush off my shoulders as I get up.
31:29
Thank you, Vedu. Listen, I'll next time I see
31:33
you, I'll probably be in the ring.
31:35
I'm going to go make sure that they don't cause any more
31:38
trouble. OK, that sounds like a lot of
31:39
fun. So it was really nice to meet
31:42
you. It was so nice to meet you.
31:44
I like you actually so much. Have I?
31:47
Have I seen you at leather daddies before?
31:49
I'm actually new in town, so me and my little group right there
31:54
the the Chains cartel, we're actually not from here or from
32:00
Noctavalis. Oh, OK.
32:05
What? What part of Noctavalis?
32:07
Oh, oh, the shade hold. We just got released by the
32:10
Imperatrix. So like the Imperatrix decided,
32:13
you know, good behaviour and all of that for like me and my
32:17
friends. So she decided, you know what
32:21
the hell? These are going to be like the
32:23
new sanctioned merchants of like Noctivales.
32:26
So now we're like merchants and stuff.
32:29
And so like we have some like boats and everything.
32:31
And she, you know, she told us, you know, don't don't let anyone
32:37
else really like encroach on, you know, the territory that is
32:41
here. Like Ember Hold is such a big
32:42
trading city and big port. And so like, we're just trying
32:46
to like limit it to like Noctivales and Ignovara
32:49
merchants only kinda because like the other two empires, they
32:54
kind of just, I guess we're not on good terms with him.
32:58
I wouldn't know. I've been locked up for the past
33:00
like 10 years. And so murder, of course, but
33:04
you know. OK, yeah, yeah, that must be a
33:08
tough job. You know, big sailors like no,
33:10
no, no, no, no, no, the the, the merchant stuff, you know, like,
33:15
I mean, you've got well established people like Narricks
33:19
and oh. Yeah, him.
33:21
Yeah. The empire tricks kind of
33:24
decided that like I was in charge of the whole like,
33:27
Noctavalis merchant Guild from like now on, and Nerx has been
33:31
like relieved of his duties. So yeah, it's just me now.
33:36
Well, then it's a good thing that Bunty here knows how to tap
33:40
dance for glove. I'll say that much.
33:48
OK, Well, thank you. Sorry.
33:52
Sorry about my friends and. Yeah, no problem.
33:55
It just kind of happens, you know, I'll.
33:57
See you in a little bit. I'll see you later.
33:59
And Glorb goes. Goodbye.
34:02
Nice meeting you. Very nice man.
34:04
Call me strong. Me strong, he writes.
34:08
OK, bye. And he gives you a little pat on
34:11
the butt and it's enough to kind of make you stumble forward a
34:13
little bit. I have to stumble straight over
34:17
towards Abe and Bo and I'm like guys, we are so fucked in every.
34:22
First of all guys, I was I was gone for like 10 minutes.
34:25
What? What happened?
34:26
I look at Bo and then I look at you honestly that that crew and
34:31
I point to the Chains cartel. They're incredibly rude.
34:34
Yeah, You know, I want to, I want to make a point about
34:37
subtlety, but honestly, you didn't even do that much, Abe.
34:40
Like fuck those guys. Yeah, I mean, yes, yes, fuck
34:45
those guys. They suck.
34:46
However, those guys were just released from the shade Hold and
34:50
they'll fucking kill you. Oh, what?
34:52
Wait, I wonder if they've meant Alphons.
34:54
It may, maybe, maybe, but a you can't keep getting us into
35:00
trouble like this, man. Wait.
35:02
Bon bon. These are dangerous people.
35:05
I know about the subtlety thing. I really didn't do anything that
35:09
bad this time, and I kind of like Bo.
35:11
Back me up, Back me up. I look over to Bo.
35:14
You know, it's it's like there's both of you are making good
35:20
points right now. OK, OK.
35:22
I think, I think Abe, you were being more subtle than usual.
35:25
However, I think you got to like you just got to when people,
35:29
when there are a bunch of people around wearing leather jackets
35:32
and they're all drinking a bunch of alcohol, like you got like
35:35
you got to be even like 4 levels below what normal is.
35:39
So I think, OK, yeah, I don't know.
35:42
We don't we don't need to assign blame here.
35:45
We both fucked up equally. I could have done a better job,
35:48
but I don't know if you you noticed the name of of their
35:52
their gang Bon. No, I I didn't.
35:57
What are they called? I I kind of point at the backs
36:00
of their leather jackets as they're walking back towards the
36:03
bar. Oh, interesting.
36:06
I mean, I see what you're getting at with, you know,
36:10
Thesmira, the breaker of chains and all that, but I don't, I
36:14
just don't want to jump to conclusions, I guess.
36:17
No, of course not. I just, you know, maybe there's
36:20
a link. Ha ha.
36:23
Listen, so I I happen to get in good with Vaidu over there.
36:30
Who she she kindly told me that she was the one who did that.
36:35
And I point up to the wings. So I think she's the leader of
36:38
those people. And she she told me some really
36:42
disturbing things. You know, she said they just got
36:45
out of the shade hold and they were released for good behavior.
36:49
But it sounds more like the Imperatrix specifically chose
36:54
them as the new lead merchants of Noctavalis and deposed, well,
37:00
that just. Makes no sense I I doubt they
37:04
even have any experience with. With I know I.
37:06
Mean like what is their resume being in?
37:09
Exactly exactly like and like something is fishy is going on.
37:14
I when we're not, I'm a little worried about Narrax, but I also
37:17
know that these are dangerous fucking people.
37:19
You don't put like 20 people in jail and then release them all
37:23
at once in the most secure prison in the world unless you
37:26
have ulterior motives. And it sounds like she's trying
37:29
to maybe take over a lot more forcefully than usual.
37:33
They also mentioned that, you know, Civorum wrecks and Pharaoh
37:37
Malik's are being kind of edged out of trade agreements and it's
37:43
mostly being limited to and behold and not the values.
37:46
Bond give me a give me just like a straight wisdom check. 13.
37:53
I do wonder if this is tied into the the the roads situation.
37:58
Yeah, Bond with that 13, you said?
38:01
Yeah, 13. You know that there are only
38:05
three big like port trading cities which are Emberhold and
38:10
Ignovarum, Moon Fen in Noctavalis and Moss Reach in
38:14
Silvorum wrecks. Ferromalix does not have a
38:18
really big trading port, so by cutting off Ember hold from
38:25
Pharaoh Malik's, they're quickly going to fall behind in terms of
38:29
trade. Savorum Rex Moss Reach is not
38:32
like the easiest city for people to get to as well.
38:35
It is on the South most side of Savorum Rex.
38:39
So that's also like it's the third biggest out of the trading
38:43
cities, but then Noctavalis and Ignovarum kind of have that
38:46
cinched with the two biggest trading port cities.
38:49
And I'm just remembering when we when that stuff happened with
38:53
the Imperator and the dragon, they they seem to be the
38:57
Imperatrix and the Imperator were clearly in cahoots.
39:00
Definitely. But I'm looking at you, Bo.
39:02
And I'm like, I wonder why the Domina?
39:07
I wonder if she knew about this and was maybe why I, I don't
39:12
know. I feel like Farrah Malik's would
39:14
rely so much on on trade to further their economy because
39:19
they have I mean need for so many raw materials for making
39:23
the night kind of motion at your arms and things.
39:25
Yeah, I think the Domina knows a lot of things.
39:30
Did the did the Domina seem like a good person though?
39:34
I could, I could not, I could not tell you.
39:37
She didn't seem any better or worse than the impaired or, or
39:42
the, you know, the Rex. Bond maybe put that seal of Nerx
39:49
even, you know, wrap it up or something because I don't know
39:51
if we should be showing that around if Nerx has been deposed.
39:54
It's it's already in my bag, but I think we we can suss that out
39:58
when we get to the secret location.
40:00
Nerx. Nerx is a careful, careful man,
40:02
very diligent. And you know, I don't think he
40:05
would have encoded what he said in a cipher if it was just.
40:09
A casual port of Nerx. I think that should still be
40:12
safe. Were any of these things ever
40:14
alluded to by him like did when you guys spoke on your travels?
40:18
Do you think he ever caught wind of any of this?
40:20
No, he, it seems like maybe when he was called back for a meeting
40:26
with the Imperatrix that maybe there was something sketchy
40:30
happening in that meeting. And I mean, I haven't heard from
40:33
him since then. I think that was probably when
40:36
it happens, but I could, you know, I couldn't know
40:40
regardless, I think one of the bottom lines here is that this
40:44
might not be the place to fuck around and find out.
40:47
I was. I was looking around upstairs to
40:49
see if I could cast magic. I did see somebody do it, but I
40:52
don't think I'm sneaky enough. Maybe Bo, if you you could maybe
40:56
pull it off since you're very slick with with things like
40:59
that, But I don't think I could help from the stands and I don't
41:03
think this is the place to try to run a scam either.
41:06
And I look over at Bow. Yeah, that's fair.
41:09
I will say this information about the shade hold could be
41:13
invaluable. Bow They know your face, but
41:17
they don't know all of your faces.
41:19
Yes, I was thinking about that. I'm thinking maybe I should
41:25
participate in the fights, but maybe we can make it a little
41:29
bit more favored towards us. Maybe I don't have to look as
41:33
capable as I am when I get rated.
41:38
Yeah. And that I could fight somebody
41:40
who's, you know, like at my level, or we could fight people
41:43
who are, who add up to our level and or just one level above us
41:48
and make quite a bit of money from that.
41:51
Yeah. So you 2 will fight then?
41:53
I mean, I was going to say, hey, you're, you're probably the
41:56
strongest of us in terms of physical capabilities.
42:00
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
42:02
Let's let's keep brainstorming as we go and get rated that's we
42:07
will keep this discussion on going.
42:10
Well, maybe there's some things that you can do to make
42:14
yourselves look less capable as fighters.
42:17
Oh. No, I can't do that.
42:19
Like what? Like what I mean?
42:22
I don't know, I guess I have a disguised kit.
42:26
So you guys are in the middle of the like the floor right now
42:29
just like amongst all these people like.
42:31
Yeah, we're not doing anything yet.
42:33
We're just having this discussion.
42:34
I. Didn't know if you're going to
42:36
whip out the disguise kit like right here.
42:38
Listen, I I'm not so good at deception like you up though.
42:45
And I think honestly, I might just go in there and say exactly
42:50
how strong I am and listen, I don't know if I can risk trying
42:54
to lie anymore in this place. That's that's these people.
42:58
These people are too scary. I think you could pull it off.
43:00
I don't think I can. No, let's understand.
43:02
I I don't think you should either.
43:04
Well. That's the thing I was thinking
43:06
about a disguise. For me I just need to get rid of
43:10
the robes and the ghee and then I don't look so much.
43:13
Like I mean butt naked like. Me.
43:15
No, Bunty, that you know, that's not what I mean.
43:17
Abe, I think you'll have to show them any abilities that you
43:21
would use in the fight. So if you, you know, say I don't
43:25
know how to be a monk. And then you'd get into the the
43:28
ring and all of a sudden you start punching people a billion
43:31
times a second and. Growing spectral arms.
43:34
That part too, that's, that's also a pretty big most people
43:38
can't do that, you know? Yes, but like.
43:43
So you could act like really surprised about it in the ring
43:45
and be like, Oh my God, speaking.
43:46
Toby and Spider Man won wrestling ring when he's testing
43:50
out his powers. Man Spider.
43:56
For our listeners, it's me saying that, not deep.
43:59
Spider Man is Canon, no? No, we were.
44:02
We were watching Spider Man 1 on the speaking stone as we were
44:05
sitting on the floor. Yeah, we don't actually RP those
44:09
times. Sometimes we need to just like
44:12
brain rot a little bit. Yeah, no, it's just me and Abe
44:15
watching the part where he stands up to his bullies so that
44:18
we feel better about getting bullied by the the leather
44:21
jacket people. You're you're watching it on
44:23
TikTok so or sorry toxic. So it has.
44:26
Like half of it is Spider man, half of it is it's the game, the
44:30
subway. Surfers.
44:31
Yeah. Lava, lava river surfers.
44:34
Yeah. So there's still a little bit of
44:37
time left before the last batch of fights are going to be done
44:41
and that Goliath calls for the assessment.
44:44
So do the three of you want to head to like the third section
44:47
of the cavern and kind of check it out?
44:49
It's the front most part of the cavern.
44:51
It's very sparse over there. And so if you were going to do
44:54
any sort of disguise or whatever, that would be more of
44:58
the place to do it, I suppose. That makes sense.
45:00
Also less likelihood of us getting into trouble if there
45:03
are less people around. Awesome.
45:04
As we walk over, I am kind of brainstorming a little bit on
45:08
how we should fight. And I, I say to Bo, I mean, I
45:11
say to you guys, I, I kind of told Vaidu up there that you
45:16
guys were my friends so that she would let you go.
45:19
That's really nice. If Bo is going to disguise
45:22
himself, I don't think either of us can fight with him.
45:26
I think he needs to fight alone because I think it would look
45:29
weird if we were just fighting with a random stranger.
45:33
Do you want to be my partner, Abe?
45:38
Oh, OK. Yeah, I guess you make a good
45:40
point on that. Yeah, we can.
45:44
We can fight together. OK, Is, is everything OK, Abe?
45:48
Yeah, yeah, I'm great. What are you talking about?
45:51
What? I didn't do anything.
45:52
And I'm not acting weird. You're acting weird.
45:55
Abe deception check. Bond insight check.
46:01
That is going to be a 24. It's a 15.
46:05
Yeah, yeah. So, Abe, how are you really
46:07
feeling, Telbon? Yeah, I, you could tell, like, I
46:11
mean, I've just been trying to avoid touching people.
46:14
Like maybe in the past, Beau also probably noticed that like
46:18
when they tried to grab our collars.
46:20
I probably would have fought and tried to get out of that
46:22
situation, but I I just gave up like you did and let that
46:26
happen. And I even though like there are
46:28
sparks of old me where, you know, I got angry with the
46:33
cartel for being mean, I'm still very seem very avoidant.
46:38
Abe, I put my hand on your shoulder and I mean, I'll kind
46:42
of look at you, look into your eyes.
46:48
Just for the audio listeners, which is everyone, he, my and
46:52
Harry tried to kiss each other. Well.
46:55
You looked at me in my eyes. What am I?
46:57
What? The.
47:00
Hell. I look Abe in the eyes and I say
47:06
hey, it's it's OK, I will protect you.
47:09
We can fight you as strong. Yeah, I kind of Gulp, let's go.
47:13
At this same moment I'm saying the same exact thing In Sync to
47:17
Bunty. Good.
47:20
Bunty. But wait, is Bunty fighting?
47:25
Yeah, Bunty's obviously going to be my partner, right?
47:27
Yeah, yeah. Wait, are we not?
47:29
What am I supposed to do? Otherwise I'm probably, let's
47:32
see, level 8 or 9. You losers are probably level 2.
47:36
Why don't we get assessed and find out, I guess.
47:39
OK, I'm going to say to these guys and like try to angle my
47:42
hands so the Bunty can't hear, you know, Bunty might actually
47:46
bring my score down if like or all of us if we just stand next
47:50
to him or that's. An interesting point.
47:53
Conversely, we could look a lot better, yeah.
47:55
And it could actually bring our score up so.
47:58
That's usually what happens from my prior experience, yeah.
48:01
So maybe we shouldn't risk it. So as you guys are walking
48:06
towards the front of the cavern where it's a lot, it's a lot
48:09
more sparse. There's not as many people here.
48:12
It's a little quieter here. From the distance it looked like
48:16
a very solid dead end Stonewall. But when you step within like 5
48:22
to 10 feet of the rock, all of a sudden the air kind of shifts
48:27
and the heat that was inside this cave kind of drops away.
48:32
So you look over and holy shit, you don't see the wall anymore.
48:38
What you're looking at is this wide open expanse that looks out
48:44
past the Cliff. Does anyone want to give me an
48:47
Arcana check? 13. 11/9.
48:53
Abe with the 13, you can kind of tell that this is some sort of
48:58
like illusory magic. So it looks like solid stone and
49:02
this is where the chains cartel were bringing you guys like they
49:06
were walking through the crowd to bring you here, possibly to
49:10
toss you off of the Cliff. So when you guys, you guys can
49:15
kind of try to figure out where you are inside this this Cliff
49:21
face based off of the store, the parchment store that you guys
49:25
were in. And so obviously you get a
49:27
little disoriented when you just kind of poof away with magic,
49:30
but you can tell it's somewhere it's close ish to the parchment
49:33
store. You reckon that you walked by
49:36
this area and it feels solid from the outside, but from the
49:40
inside it's completely open. So I don't know, not not great
49:45
to be tossed off of this Cliff, that's for sure.
49:48
It's 400 feet down. Huh.
49:51
Hey, Bon. Thank you.
49:55
Yeah, Did you like, what else did you tell Vaidu about us?
50:02
Is there anything like, do we, what do we need to do?
50:06
Do we need? Do we need to fight?
50:08
Listen, I who could really say what, told me that you probably
50:14
said something to piss someone off, and I tried to convince her
50:19
that you were worth keeping around because you're a good
50:23
fighter. Oh, shit.
50:24
Oh, fuck. OK, OK.
50:27
And I'm just going to start pacing, all right?
50:33
Oh, and I put my head in my hands.
50:36
Bunty, bunty, Bunty. Yeah, Bunty.
50:39
I need posh bunty. He was saying something about,
50:41
like, powering me up. I don't know.
50:43
I don't know who the hell Posh Bunty is, no, but you guys saw
50:47
posh enough for you. You guys saw him bond Bo, you
50:51
saw posh Bunty, remember and and he was saying something about
50:54
like Dawn of Stars and giving me, you know.
50:58
Oh, are you? Going to commit to the void,
51:00
mommy. Actually, I don't know.
51:02
I don't know. I don't know.
51:03
What to do? Yeah.
51:05
I don't know what to do. Let's let's take a take a
51:08
breath, you know, before we make any packs with the living
51:13
embodiment of nothingness and think through all of our
51:21
options. Just fight.
51:27
I don't know. Just do it, Abe.
51:29
That's easy for you to say, Bunty and I don't want you
51:32
fighting. You're not going to be fighting.
51:33
Don't fight, Bo. You are forbidden from taking
51:36
Bunty into the cage when you go. OK, I kind of didn't want to
51:39
fight, let's be honest. It's kind of scary.
51:42
Thank God. All right, then we got to figure
51:46
out what Bunty is going to be doing when none of us are around
51:48
him, because that terrifies me. I can go hang out with Vaidu,
51:52
but yeah, it's going to be like, if you're going to fight A2
51:55
versus 2:00, then that's going to happen.
51:57
And then if you're going to do a 1V1, that's going to happen
51:59
later. OK.
52:00
All right. I I look over to to the two of
52:04
them and I'm like actually Bunty kind of got along well with
52:07
Globe up there and I point to the the huge Goliath.
52:12
It's kind of a risk, but, but Globe, I don't.
52:16
I think he'd actually be safe with Globe.
52:19
Interesting like globe, him and I were of like minds.
52:22
Yeah, no. So like there was this time when
52:24
Bunty was sleep talking and he did say like when he dreams he
52:30
sees himself as like 9 feet tall.
52:34
Don't tell people that is embarrassing.
52:37
It's not embarrassing, Bunty, it's an important piece of
52:40
context, so I could see how you connected with him so quickly.
52:45
Well, what if he dreams of being small?
52:47
We'll never know. Precisely.
52:48
That's exactly what I was thinking actually.
52:50
Bon, I trust your judgement. If you think Bunty would vibe
52:53
with Glorp, then we could we could leave Bunty with Glorp.
52:57
Oh wait, bond bond, bond. Listen to me, listen to me
53:00
buddy. Maybe if you cast like a healing
53:04
spell or one of you cast like a healing spell, right.
53:07
Like Vaidu didn't said she didn't really give a shit, but
53:10
like Glorp gives a shit so I can distract Glorp so he doesn't
53:13
like catch anyone in the crowd. Oh.
53:15
That's interesting. Yeah, we could do that.
53:17
That's interesting. Permission to to to the meta
53:20
game for one minute. Sure, what's up?
53:23
This was 60 seconds. Yeah, yeah, when when Harry was
53:25
up there, that was exactly what I was thinking, was that either
53:28
they don't have good perception or like Bunty or if like one of
53:33
us was up there or someone was up there, you distract them
53:36
while Harry's able to spells and that would maybe be good.
53:39
I look at Bunty and I say, listen, Bunty, yeah, don't,
53:44
don't, don't tell them anything about us, OK?
53:47
I don't want you to die, and if I'd say anything about you guys,
53:50
they'll probably kill you. OK.
53:52
And then I slap them on the butt.
53:55
I'm like. Incredibly good self.
53:57
Aware go tap dance for glow up. OK, anyway, wait, wait, wait,
54:01
wait, wait. Before you go bunty, I will.
54:04
I can, I can tell you when to distract him.
54:07
OK, yeah, whatever. I can just distract him the
54:10
whole time. I got like a whole routine.
54:12
I can juggle, I can do magic, I can tap dance, I can swallow a
54:16
sword. But like one of the ones that go
54:18
in like cocktail drinks because I'm really small, so not like a
54:21
real sword, just like the little plastic ones.
54:24
Yes, I can swallow one of those umbrellas that also go in like
54:27
my ties and pina carnatas. I love, I love all of that.
54:30
I'm imagining that it's not like a, it's not like a sword
54:33
swallower at all. It's just bunty like throwing
54:35
the whole thing in his mouth and then really painfully trying to
54:39
pass. Oh my God, Bo, how did you know?
54:41
Have you seen my ACT before? I, I, you know, it's almost like
54:44
I can see it now. OK, so Bunty's going to head
54:49
back upstairs. It's been a couple hours at this
54:51
point between the talking, the moving, the this and the that.
54:54
So the Goliath on this ground floor is once again calling for
54:59
people to get assessed. Right.
55:01
How invasive or yeah how invasive do they look?
55:05
If I made my my prosthetics look worse than they are, would they
55:10
like be tinkering around with them?
55:13
No, it seems mostly like he's asking questions, writing things
55:18
down on a clipboard. Occasionally we'll like use the
55:21
pen to like poke at you, at the muscles, at the legs and
55:25
whatever, but just kind of poking, not really like grabbing
55:29
and touching. OK then I'm going to quickly run
55:33
back to the secluded area and find a corner where nobody can
55:37
see me and I want to change my form and this time I'm going to
55:40
change myself into a skinny orc who has like 2 prosthetic legs
55:49
and one prosthetic arm and it's all mismatched and they all look
55:53
like level 0 prosthetics. Sick.
55:56
But theoretically, I don't want it to look too different from my
56:01
actual limbs. So in a weird way, this looks
56:04
more like Bo than any of his other disguises yet but my face.
56:09
How does that, how does that feel Bo like kind of showing off
56:13
the metal? It feels, it's certainly like
56:16
weird. Like I feel like it's the kind
56:17
of thing where Bo normally feels weird about it, but he doesn't
56:21
think about it until he's like halfway through changing his
56:24
disguise and then he's like, oh, maybe because it's like serving
56:28
a purpose, it doesn't feel weird.
56:29
Gotcha. OK, so you guys head on over to
56:34
the Goliath and he pokes, he prods, he asks questions.
56:41
We'll start with Bon and Abe. How do you guys answer?
56:46
Do you answer truthfully to your abilities, who you worship,
56:49
stuff like that? I am going to omit that I am a
56:53
monk and be very honest about the fact that this is maybe my
56:56
6th or 7th fight if you count the bar fight or not.
57:00
Awesome. That's fair.
57:02
I'm going to be pretty honest about my abilities, so I'll say
57:08
I won't say which goddess I worship, although there's
57:12
there's a big fist mirrorhead symbol on my shield so and.
57:16
On. Your cloak, yeah.
57:17
So like I'm kind of repping always, but I'm not trying to
57:22
hide anything. I don't think I, I don't think
57:24
these are the right people that I do for me.
57:26
Awesome. So you guys tell them pretty
57:30
honestly about your abilities and stuff like that and
57:33
unsurprisingly you guys get rated level 5.
57:37
Now, Bo, how do you want to portray yourself as?
57:42
I'm going to limp up to the table and I'm pretending to be
57:48
an orc, right? So this is my best orc
57:50
impression. Oh hey there bud, I'm looking to
57:53
sign up for a fight here. I noticed you got some.
57:59
It's. Fucking close.
58:01
It's just a Midwestern. Guy or a Canadian?
58:04
I can't. I know you.
58:06
I noticed you got a big old rumpus room out in the middle of
58:09
that that that spot over there, so I was wondering if I could
58:13
take a tussle. Yeah, you're going to.
58:17
You're going to love it. You're going to love it out
58:19
there. You.
58:19
Know I've, I've only, I've only been in three fights in my life.
58:24
The first I, I lost this thing and I point at one leg.
58:28
The second I I lost this this one and I pointed the other leg.
58:32
Third one, you know, I actually I got through that one
58:35
unscathed. I just took a big old knock on
58:37
the nog in there and the arm totally freak accident.
58:42
Yeah, I got caught in a mill. Yeah, you give me a perception
58:52
check real quick with advantage. Nice 19. 19 You noticed that he
59:01
marks down that he is going to bet against you when it's your
59:05
turn to fight. So just so you know, I have a
59:08
little bit of magic here and there, but I can't do too much
59:11
with it. Give me a deception check with
59:17
advantage because your disguise is impeccable.
59:24
So that was a 19 and A2 on the die.
59:26
So I think I'll keep the 19 and so that becomes a 28.
59:30
Wow OK, what level are you going for?
59:35
Usually 2 through 8 is the most or three.
59:38
Two through 8 is the most common, but you can go lower if
59:41
you want. I feel like 3 three is probably
59:46
a safe bet. I fight somebody level 5.
59:48
We we triple the money theoretically and.
59:52
Incredible. OK, so you guys get assessed and
59:57
there is quite a few people on the tote board.
1:00:01
So Bo, would you like to fight whoever is level 5?
1:00:06
Then or there's there's level 3456 or seven that you can sign
1:00:10
up for. Yes, I'll fight someone who's
1:00:13
level 5. Incredible and Aben Bon, you see
1:00:17
that there's a couple of duos ready.
1:00:20
So there's a Level 3 duo, a level 5 duo, a level 6 duo, and
1:00:25
a level 7 duo. Ava, I think we could take
1:00:28
probably the level fives. We're pretty good.
1:00:30
I mean, we're professional gladiators.
1:00:32
Yeah. I would put us above like most
1:00:35
other people that are level 5. OK, all right.
1:00:40
And you see me close my eyes and taking a deep breath, we can
1:00:43
take them. Incredible.
1:00:45
So you guys put your names up for level 5 and you guys aren't
1:00:52
the first on the list, so you get to watch the first fight of
1:00:57
the match. Do you bet on yourself?
1:00:59
Is that how the payouts work or? Yeah, or you bet on yourself.
1:01:03
Other people. You can bet on other people too,
1:01:05
but most most gladiators will bet on fights that they're you
1:01:10
know more sure about if they want to do that.
1:01:13
Could we try to have Bo go first?
1:01:15
Yeah, Bo can go first. So I'll start with the the first
1:01:20
match. So you guys stand together near
1:01:23
the staging area as you watch the blood sport just unfold
1:01:27
inside that massive steel cage. And right now it's absolute
1:01:30
chaos. 2 goblins wearing bizarre spring loaded boots are bouncing
1:01:35
30 feet in the air, cackling wildly as they leap over the
1:01:37
ground below them. A team of two females in orc
1:01:42
wizard in a torn robes and a drow Ranger are trying to kind
1:01:45
of pin the airborne goblins down.
1:01:48
The orc wizard panics. She raises her hand chance the
1:01:50
spell and hurls a giant sphere of fire towards where the
1:01:54
goblins are about to land. But mid arc the goblin slams
1:01:58
their boots together and launch themselves horizontally out of
1:02:01
the way and the fireball actually detonates right in the
1:02:03
drow Rangers face. You know, against each other.
1:02:06
Accidentally, flame erupts across the center of the stage.
1:02:09
The drow staggers backwards in the smoke.
1:02:11
Her armor is scorched black, her skin is horribly burned, and her
1:02:15
health is clearly hanging on by a thread.
1:02:17
Very quickly, the two goblins armed with these giant axes cut
1:02:23
the drow cleanly. Like in half, like split her
1:02:26
skull as they start hacking away at the ore Wizard Wizards not
1:02:31
very known for their constitution.
1:02:34
The wizard falls pretty easily, and there are two dead bodies
1:02:39
just on the ground. Everything is covered in blood.
1:02:44
Holy shit they didn't even. They didn't even ask them to
1:02:47
yield. So yeah, I I guess this is what
1:02:53
illegal fight rings look like. Yeah, this is this is pretty
1:02:57
typical, but I mean that was particularly brutal.
1:03:01
Bond when, when you, when you prayed at this mirror, like
1:03:04
what? What do you, What do you say?
1:03:07
Just like when you pray to a God, you know, what do you?
1:03:09
What do you like to say? I mean, it really depends on the
1:03:12
situation. There's prayers for so many
1:03:13
different moments. I mean, like, you've got prayers
1:03:15
before eating. You've got prayers for the dead,
1:03:18
You've got prayers for for like going out to sea.
1:03:22
I mean, yeah, yeah. So I mean, I pray a lot of
1:03:25
different things. Got it, Got it.
1:03:27
Yeah, a similar question, Bon. Sometimes, sometimes while we're
1:03:32
fighting you like say this word or something and like, you know,
1:03:36
I'll, I'll, I'll feel better or Abe looks better all of the
1:03:39
sudden. What is that?
1:03:41
How do you do it That? I just kind of look at the dead
1:03:45
bodies and the burnt crisp. Like.
1:03:49
For healing, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
1:03:53
I I know OK, I'll be real. I know that there's a small
1:03:57
chance that I'm not a chosen 1 of thesmira.
1:04:01
Oh. However, however, so.
1:04:03
Sorry to hear that. No, I it's OK.
1:04:06
It's crazy beaming. Fine, don't worry, it's OK.
1:04:12
But when you when you do that thing, I feel like I don't know.
1:04:16
I still don't fully understand my magic, but that might that
1:04:19
might be something I can do. Really.
1:04:21
And then I'll, yeah. And I kind of walk him through,
1:04:25
you know, without actually casting it.
1:04:27
I, I tell him a little bit about healing word about how it's
1:04:31
mostly it's just like a verbal component spell.
1:04:34
And yeah, you just kind of, for me, the, the power comes from my
1:04:40
goddess. So you, you really just have to
1:04:42
channel where your powers comes from.
1:04:44
So for you, I don't know if it comes from, I don't know.
1:04:48
Does it help if I like if I use a specific like powerful word?
1:04:54
I think just whatever feels right to you, man, I, you know,
1:04:57
it, it's really more about the source of the power than the
1:05:02
word itself. It's called healing Word, but
1:05:04
you know, it's, it's not a specific healing word.
1:05:08
What, what if you just said heal?
1:05:10
How about that? That seems like a very
1:05:12
accessible word to use. Interesting.
1:05:15
That was how I was taught it originally, you know, when I was
1:05:18
10. And so all you can imagine
1:05:20
flashback all of the little drow cleric kids are going.
1:05:23
Heal, heal, heal, heal. And they're just killing each
1:05:27
other. Heal.
1:05:29
Okay, yeah, no, I think that makes sense.
1:05:31
I think I'll keep that in mind. Awesome.
1:05:34
So the next fight continues and there's a lot of death, there's
1:05:39
blood spilling everywhere on the ground and all of a sudden it's
1:05:43
bows turn, so they kind of usher up the limping orc.
1:05:48
Can we, can we, can we say that we got a short rest while
1:05:53
watching the yes the fight? You can get a short rest.
1:05:58
Excellent. And I don't know if there would
1:06:00
have been a chance for me to play anything on the banjo in
1:06:04
this. You could have done it when you
1:06:05
guys were near the front of the cavern, just having your little
1:06:08
conversation if you'd like. OK, yeah.
1:06:11
Then when we when we were, you know, kind of more secluded that
1:06:14
I pulled out the banjo and strummed a few a few chords that
1:06:20
sounded kind of good together. Still figuring things out, but.
1:06:23
So they start ushering the ORC version.
1:06:28
Does that does that do anything to us or?
1:06:31
Yeah, that's with the musician feat.
1:06:33
You get your horror like inspiration back.
1:06:36
Oh. OK.
1:06:38
I was just like and Bo plays a little sorry.
1:06:42
I. Forgot I was like a sick dude.
1:06:45
Way to set the? Vibe I'm like this makes perfect
1:06:48
sense to me. So they start ushering the orc
1:06:54
version of Bo up into the giant cage bow.
1:07:00
Give me a real quick perception check as you're entering. 16.
1:07:06
You're kind of trying to make yourself look small, look
1:07:10
around, and as you scan the shifting crowd, your eyes
1:07:15
suddenly lock onto a towering figure standing near the edge of
1:07:20
a group of people who look like they're betting it's a human
1:07:23
man. And he's massive, easily 7 feet
1:07:27
tall with a wide, heavy frame. And he is like openly staring at
1:07:32
you. He wears like a dark duster coat
1:07:35
over like a structured buckled vest and like a low brimmed
1:07:38
fedora. But it's his face that catches
1:07:40
your attention. Where his left eye should be is
1:07:43
a polished steel casing flush against his socket, housing a
1:07:47
series of tiny concentric brass rings that shift.
1:07:50
And instead of normal ears, there are flat circular steel
1:07:54
plates with brass metal grills that are riveted flat to the
1:07:58
side of his face. These are very odd
1:08:02
augmentations. Pretty much the only person you
1:08:05
know who like augments their face really heavily is like the
1:08:08
Domain. Yeah, I think as I'm like going
1:08:11
towards the the cage, I'm like waving at people and they're
1:08:15
like, oh, hi there. And like trying to keep up for,
1:08:17
you know, perceptions and like wearing a smile on my face.
1:08:21
And then as I see this guy who's just staring at me, and I see
1:08:25
like his his augmented eye, my, my smile just immediately fades.
1:08:31
And as your smile fades, he looks back at you with a soft
1:08:36
side smile that creeps upon his face.
1:08:38
But the smile doesn't reach his like human eye.
1:08:42
And with a very smooth, deliberate motion, he taps his
1:08:46
hat, looks at you and tilts his hat at you.
1:08:52
And as his sleeve pulls back, you also see that his hand and
1:08:55
arms are entirely made of heavy, polished steel, and he gives you
1:08:59
a little wink, lowers the hat and steps backwards into the
1:09:04
crowd, his massive frame effortlessly melting away.
1:09:09
And that is where we're going to end this session.
1:09:12
Oh fuck, we're being watched by the feds.
1:09:19
Shoot. No, you probably got true sight
1:09:21
on that or something. Damn, I feel very observed.
1:09:26
Damn. Well, that was honestly a
1:09:29
stressful episode because I didn't know if you guys were
1:09:31
going to get kicked out before we even started the fight.
1:09:35
I was like, well, there goes the fighting pits.
1:09:40
There you go. Awful 4. 100.
1:09:41
Foot Cliff. It's so hard because I know the
1:09:43
best thing to do is just to like, do whatever they say.
1:09:47
But like when someone's being hypocritical, like.
1:09:51
Yeah, these. People are like bad.
1:09:52
I shouldn't have done the bit where I was like, oh, you can't
1:09:55
get the words out, can you? But I was like, it's too no.
1:09:58
That's where you crossed the line.
1:10:00
That's where she. Kind of lost it and.
1:10:03
Then bond like adding heroic inspiration in the.
1:10:07
Bardic. Yeah, I wasted my Bardic and my
1:10:09
heroic to make sure that you guys didn't fucking get kicked
1:10:12
out. Yeah, 400 feet off a Cliff is
1:10:16
not the way to go. Well, you got the you got the
1:10:19
heroic back, so. I did.
1:10:21
I did. Exactly.
1:10:22
Yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking when
1:10:24
when you clarified what you're playing a little ditty meant.
1:10:28
Yeah, for the best. Hopefully Bunty still has that
1:10:30
heroic inspiration so if he needs to do any persuasion
1:10:34
checks. Yeah, hold on real quick.
1:10:36
Let's see how Bunty is doing. You have to do like, but you
1:10:38
got. A but you got a Nat 20 bunty is.
1:10:40
Doing Oh my God, yes. The first Nat 20 of the episode,
1:10:44
it's right here at the end, Bunty's doing the tap dance and
1:10:47
everyone's eating it the fuck up.
1:10:49
Let's fucking go, Bunty. I can't wait to hear what he
1:10:52
what he tells us when he gets back.
1:10:55
Why do we even need to fight? Let's just let's just be Bunty's
1:10:57
managers. That's one of Bo's side hustles.
1:11:05
Amazing. Well, if you guys like the
1:11:07
podcast, make sure to follow and rate US on Spotify or Apple
1:11:10
Music or join us on our social media for updates, official art
1:11:14
and more. We are on Instagram at smooth
1:11:16
critical podcast and Blue sky at Smooth critical.
1:11:19
Thanks for playing guys. I'll see you in the fighting
1:11:22
pits next time. Bye.
1:11:25
Bye.