Latest / Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce / I Can't Afford Marriage Help | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep485

Transcript

I Can't Afford Marriage Help | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep485 · Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage problems are not just a rich man's problem.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your partner's trauma is a gift.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: The hokey pokey is messing you up.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: She saw her touch my penis.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: My narcissistic behaviors.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: My managing severe narcissism.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you afraid of rejection?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage problems are not just a rich man's problem.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Moral Marriage Podcast, guys.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this one is uh is really important.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: This one I wanted to put out because uh it has become known that we have uh an expensive program.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we also have books because people couldn't afford our program.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: We wrote those years ago.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We also have songs that connect people.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: We also have, and I'm talking like break couples wide open with my lyrics in these songs.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: We also have free trainings more, I think, than any of our competitors.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: We try to keep up with what they've got, but um the recent check is still we're way ahead.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: We try to produce a plan for, I would always say um there's a plan for every man.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's financially, is what I'm saying.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because obviously we're gonna help every person with you know what they're going through with emotionally, with the story, whatever.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's come, it's been brought to my attention that people think they need to have money, you know, and the amount of men that we're meeting who actually have no money, I'll use the term broke because I was broke when I started my journey.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's become very known that I want help, but I can't afford it is a massive issue.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And what you guys have to realize is that that's not true.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pretend this isn't marriage help right now.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you wanted to learn anything in the world, do you know one place you could go to to figure that out?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: You might not know where to start, but you know where you could go?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: I go to YouTube.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Why say YouTube and not Google and not even AI?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because YouTube, you can find people who have experienced what you've experienced and can show you and demonstrate.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Literally on video.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: On video.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you can see, you can hear, and you can implement.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's go back to marriage for a second.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: We have our app where we give so much away.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the the reality is, I want to I want you to think about it this way.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: If we confine ourselves ever to something like, well, I don't have the money, well, you wouldn't even be watching us.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: When Catherine said she wasn't in love, she was not attracted, she was settling, and she was repulsed.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: We had no money.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: No money.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: We lost our business, we lost our home, our cars.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was sell we sold stuff so we could move to a different place.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: That was cheaper to live because we lost our home, we couldn't afford our mortgage so we could go into a rental.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then I still sold things that I did not want to.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think I had$30,000 worth of tools, and I maybe got$4,000 selling my tools.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that was fun?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: $4,000 bought me?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of books.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: It bought me some courses.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: My first coach I ever bought, I borrowed my friend's credit card.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Some of you guys think that you're fucked, but you don't go to YouTube, you waste time on social media, you're not resourceful, and you're not resourceful.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're illegitimately using your time, which is your number one asset, your attention.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Number one.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're not being resourceful when it comes to how you can get more.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you invest your time and your money, you will obviously learn.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to clarify something here as well.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you think, fuck, I work so hard.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Who cares?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you work hard and you can't, look at look right now, our business has completely changed right now, just so you know.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like social media completely changed.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like we could find all kinds of people ready to invest last November, and today we find all kinds of people that want help.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Can't afford it, can't afford it.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to be creative and help people in different ways.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I find it quite humbling.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's reminded me of some of the ways that I've like why we wrote the books, for example.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how many other ways can we reach you?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because you guys get skeptical.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: You guys don't know if things are real because people out there are inauthentic and burning people.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to tie this back to when you think you work so hard.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I am working hard.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And is it producing what I want right now?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, marriage, all that stuff's good.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just talking about how I can reach you guys more.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you think I started writing songs, for example?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I that takes a lot of time.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: But away from me, you guys, you're welcome.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: But what you need to realize is when something doesn't produce what you want to produce, you might work hard, but then what do I do next?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is important because it's the same thing in your marriage.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: You might work hard, but what you're doing doesn't it, the way you implement it doesn't work.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're doing something that's like what people tell you to do.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: The boundary shit, the respecting the boundaries with space for crying out loud.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to be married, why are we taking space or allowing space?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't be an asshole when you're in their face.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't invade their space.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you guys gotta realize that you think you're working hard, you're doing everything you can, but chances are, like the money problem, you're actually just limiting yourself.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're holding yourself back.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like you you guys have to start thinking, the Catherine said the perfect word.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Be resourceful.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like and understand that as you figure things out, you will move yourself forward.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to fail.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because without failure, you never win.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: You never grow.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: You never grow.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get comfortable again at the next level if the thing that you do works immediately.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we have stuff that will work immediately.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: We do, don't get me wrong.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the things that actually move your marriage, like my response versus reaction, it's called stat response or Catherine's half wrap, you're gonna fucking fail.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: But they're the best fucking tools we got.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, you're gonna grow so much.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: I actually uh we have a client who she made this amazing post today in the community, and it was called Twisted Tuesday.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: So today's Tuesday for all of you out there.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it was what is going on in your life that you can twist around and make positive.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So what is something that you would normally love the name Twisted Tuesday and turn it positive.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's all.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you would normally get in a negative sentiment override, you would normally victimize yourself, you would normally throw yourself a pity party, but what are you gonna do?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And her example, so she was like, I'm gonna follow my own lead and I'm gonna give my win.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Her husband, who is having an affair, spending all this time away, and her natural inclination is to be like, Oh, woe is me.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: He gets to go all do all this, and I have to here be here holding down the Ford and doing everything.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, No, screw that.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: I get to spend one-on-one time with my daughter, I get to look at new places to live that are gonna be ours, and she just turned it all around.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Another client, get this.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: This was oh, so awesome.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she was in the program for I don't know, a year, her husband's in the program now too.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: While she was in the program, it changed her life.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: She changed her life so much and became so open.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Her husband admitted to her that he was having an affair, crushed her, and she realized that without the program, without the work that she was doing, he never would have even admitted it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And she never without the affair, she never would have reflected on herself to the point of where she is right now.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Where, of course, she's like, I still hate that bitch.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: She's she was with my husband and she's a homewrecker.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: But would I take the affair back?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't think that I would, because the affair was what led me to the program, which is what led me to change, which is what allowed him to open up, so now everything's on the table, and now my husband's in the program, and now here we both are growing.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is Tuesday.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Shitty things, I know, isn't it?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: So cool.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: That was Jess that did that.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Jess, when you're listening to this, I'm proud of you.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want you guys to think about this.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think about what this started with the concept of I can't get help because I can't afford help.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you could take a story like what Catherine's talking about and go, well, but they're in the program, Cass.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is, what they're doing is they're changing the way they think.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just that I was like, okay, what can I sell?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: How can I do this?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Who can I borrow a credit card?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: There were so many other things I had to learn.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I tell Catherine everything I was fucking doing.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Look at me.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Look at me, mommy.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Can I have a cookie?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, all of these things are things that you have to change with your mindset.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the moment you tell yourself you can't, that's why I really like this twisted, because it sounds negative.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: But twisted Tuesday becomes positive.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Twisted back, yeah.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's the way you speak to yourself, the way you actually sit down for this, victimize yourself.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's all it is.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: The premise of what we teach, we just had this conversation, Catherine and I, I think it was two days ago.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I said, yeah, but it doesn't matter what it was about, but I said, yeah, but everybody we meet is a victim.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like they're not, because they're coming to take responsibility.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: But every person that joins our program, you listening to the podcast, you getting on our app at go.moralmarriers.com, you listening to the songs, whether you resonate, feel seen and heard as a woman, or whether you resonate as a man and feel guilt and shame, you are all a victim.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's your problem.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: You want to know why we moved our marriage forward?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You want what we have?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Catherine teaches it.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was a victim, she says.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: But she says, I stopped being one.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I stopped enabling the abuse, I stopped enabling the bullshit.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You need to stop enabling the affairs, you need to stop enabling the separation, and I'll pay for this too.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: You need to stop enabling the stake being thrown at the head.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: These are real stories from our program right now.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: You need to stop like in and allowing the life that you don't want and victimizing yourself.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a rich man's problem to be in marriage.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's an everyday problem in marriages in now 192 countries, with doesn't matter how long you've been married, what age, gender, race, culture, they all the you all have the same problems.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: The same ones that we had.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's just a different version of the story.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: So stop limiting yourself by being a victim.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.