Latest / DidiLawren / Finding A Spouse In Diaspora While Working Round The Clock

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Finding A Spouse In Diaspora While Working Round The Clock · DidiLawren

• 0:35
  Hello and welcome back to my channel.
• 0:37
  This is bandwidth Florencia. Thank you for stopping by.
• 0:41
  If this is the first time, please subscribe to this
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  channel. Click the like button, share
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  this video, and if you're returning subscriber, I
• 0:50
  appreciate you. Thank you very much for staying
• 0:53
  glued to my channel. Thank you.
• 0:56
  So for today's episode I want to talk about finding love in the
• 1:01
  abroad. But as we all know, this is the
• 1:06
  jack, My Generation. Everybody wants to travel.
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  Everybody wants to Jack back. Everybody wants a good life.
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  Everybody wants to leave the insecurities in Nigeria behind.
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  I mean, especially this election period.
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  The actually recorded that over like millions of people recently
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  applied for the international passports.
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  So you know that people are living, people are leaving o,
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  people are planning to leave. Leave before the election, or
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  even after the election. So with all these things going
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  on, everybody's trying to find out how they're going to leave
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  my injury and lady who has been in the UK for over seven years,
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  posted a video online and she was advising people that if you
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  want to Jack. Now if you want to travel and
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  show that you sort out your romantic life, before you do
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  that or possibly get married before traveling, she was giving
• 2:02
  the reason that she's been UK for over seven years that nobody
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  has even posted her. I am not sure how true that is,
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  but according to her, she has been in the UK for that long and
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  nobody has asked her out. She doesn't have a relationship,
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  she doesn't have a lover, and she was advising people that if
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  you're traveling. Make sure that you so start
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  Parts out before coming to the UK or in diaspora, in this case,
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  she lives in the UK. Okay, so you went viral a lot of
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  people that are having conversation about it.
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  A lot of we may not many duties that complaining about not being
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  able to find love in the UK. A lot of them say that because
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  of the working hours, you know, crazy working hours, especially
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  those ones who want to, you know, how extra publish
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  something back home. They literally work around the
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  clock to be able to save money to attend to those To Nigeria,
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  so sometimes they don't even have time for themselves
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  Sometimes. Some of these people even sleep,
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  like two hours, you know, who day and then the next day boom,
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  they're up and running. One of the questions I ask
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  myself is how are you? You know, relationship-wise you
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  have problems in relationships, like, finding a partner.
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  And the truth is, I don't think that I am not diminishing her
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  experience, maybe she has never had a relationship or nobody has
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  ever hosted her. But I think one of the problem
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  is because people walk around the clock, especially
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  first-generation immigrants. Let's say you travels as if
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  students. And you're going to school,
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  you're working trying to find your footings and possibly pay
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  your school fees because most times the paper school fees, And
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  then, they come here and work to pay school fees.
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  So, you're literally walking around the clock not just to pay
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  your school fees. Supposed to pay your
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  accommodation fee maintenance, just to take care of yourself
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  and possibly save money to even send back home in Nigeria.
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  So, most times these people work around the clock, seven days a
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  week. And then after school, you have
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  to now try to regularize your stay.
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  You're trying to work even more noun to save some money to get
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  your papers, right? And this actually takes some
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  time to do and everybody's running.
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  So you won't even even if somebody is listening.
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  Even if somebody is toasting you at that point, you you're going
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  to start thinking, oh, does this person have papers?
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  Does this person have this possessed person have that?
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  I mean, let me give you an example of a friend of mine.
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  We were students, and she was older than I am, and she wanted
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  to get into a serious relationship.
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  She just finished a master's at that point in time.
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  And she felt, you know, marriage.
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  It's time to get married and she was having in one or two
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  relationship in the UK, but one thing she kept hammering on was
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  the fact that they were not up to her standards.
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  And listen. Okay, let me visit this week.
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  She would not let anybody who is she is able.
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  So, if you're the person is approaching her, she be like,
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  no, no, no. Can do if any person is
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  approaching her? She'd be like, yeah, but the
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  vehicle together I cannot this this kind of person so she was
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  very selective. He narrowed our search down to
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  this particular. It has to be evil and not just
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  evil from Ha State, everyone's measure and states.
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  It has to be from her States. So, when she finally found
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  somebody, she was actually introduced to somebody who lived
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  in the UK. I don't know where the person is
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  right now, who lived in the UK, and he was working.
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  So, she told me about this person, I was excited because I
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  felt okay. Finally, at least you don't have
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  the challenge of saying, this person is not evil or this
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  person. This is not from your state.
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  So when they started going out, she came back to me.
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  I chose La his accent that he has this ebook tuned by.
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  She cannot see cannot cool that her friends would laugh at her
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  because our friends, this one is Mary's with dr.
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  This one is married to a lawyer. This one is married to a pirate
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  and how, you know, the guy is a construction worker, he was
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  okay. It was doing fine but she said
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  the, the The boat on that is a she cannot.
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  She cannot deal that. Even if she manages the
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  relationship, what if her friends?
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  They're going on vacation, they say couple trips and all that,
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  that should be ashamed of her husband.
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  This guy was a nice guy, this guy very UK but she refused to
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  go ahead with our relationship just because of the eboot food.
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  I I'm not like I we've all been guilty of rejecting people
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  because of certain things, that superficial things that we know
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  that's okay. This is not even supposed to be
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  an issue, or I'm not even trying to blame her because this is her
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  choice. This is who she wants to spend
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  the rest of her life with, and if she feels that this person is
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  no, somebody, I can be proud of nobody should, you know, George
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  Based on that. But what happened a couple of
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  months later, a couple of years later, she told me there are no
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  men in the UK that you give me 10 serious.
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  You give people don't want, don't want serious relationship.
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  UK people don't want marriage. UK, people, don't want more.
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  You have narrowed your search down to.
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  It is literally a particular, ethnic group and the ones that
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  you are finding. Or finding faults in them.
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  I am guilty as charged. I am not trying to listen.
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  I want this table, but I would not come out and say, there are
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  no men in the UK. I would not come out and say
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  that there are no serious lationship in the UK, I will not
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  come out and say that I have been here seven years and nobody
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  has asked me out, fact is no true.
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  Sometimes because of the requirements because of just the
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  heavy load of being a first-generation immigrant, the
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  heavy load of being an international students, but
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  heavy load of just trying to find your footings.
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  Novo, relationship takes the backseat.
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  So, when you actually now think, okay, I am ready to start
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  finding logo to find a husband. You see that most times you not
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  have a whole bunch of Le T's that you're not taking care of
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  and you have to work in a certain amount of hours to be
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  able to meet all of those responsibilities most times.
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  You see people like people work around the clock just because
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  they want to drive Range Rover. Like I concludes that there is
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  this lady. Not a friend of mine was telling
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  me about she was you know she came in as a student.
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  She was working. She got a good job and because
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  of pressure you know peer pressure like my friend is
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  driving range. This one is driving range.
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  This one is driving range. She literally got a second job.
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  I was working around the clock to be able to finance a Range
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  Rover. And this person is actually
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  looking for asking people to introduce her to people but she
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  is literally Working around the clock.
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  Even if somebody introduce you to that person.
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  Now, how you would you find time to even go on a date?
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  When they are calling you, you're in your first job when
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  they want to ask you as you're in your second job.
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  So, I don't think it's because of UK.
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  That is making people even in Nigeria.
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  People will tell you that people in Lagos are not serious or
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  relationship in Legos are not zero.
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  So Legos, people don't and all serious about getting married or
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  getting into relationship. I Is because of the fast piece
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  of the Rocks race. Basically, I mean, there are a
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  lot of people in Lagos that getting married.
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  There are lots of people in Desperate that getting married,
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  but I just think it's because of the fact that everybody is
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  trying to achieve certain level of success that the forget about
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  love, people don't even date to for companionship, people don't
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  date to have somebody to talk to people don't even In days, just
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  for the phone of dating. You see people especially
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  desperate. They did this because they want
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  to marry. So when you even asking them
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  out, they have all these criterias that they've set aside
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  if you're not in Niger, is especially Nigerians, if you're
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  in a Nigerian you're disqualified, regardless of how
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  good you are productive. Listen, that is disqualification
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  then if it's somebody that has educated and Need somebody that
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  maybe it's not that educated then that disqualifies, that
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  person because you're thinking. What will my friends?
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  See, if I married this kind of person or according to my French
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  was like, if they go on vacation, people would be
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  laughing as a husband, or she would be ashamed to introduce a
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  husband to have friends. Basically, as a result, a lot of
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  that aspirants go back to Nigeria to get married.
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  And then, you know, bring that Person over all the men,
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  basically, just leave their wives day and continue working
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  Round. The Clock to be able to take
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  care of them back home while the women most times bring their
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  husbands over, the ones that are happy to come over and start
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  life. All over again.
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  I just think it's not about not being able to find love in
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  diaspora. It's not about oh, I've been
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  here over for over 7 years and nobody has asked me out if you
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  actually sit this lady. I'm actually talk to her.
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  You will hear that. A wise man has approached an
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  Indian as approach to a Chinese has approached.
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  Our even, a Zimbabwean has approached her and she'll be
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  like Noah must be a Nigerian and the same Nigerian that you're
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  trying to get is also working around the clock.
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  And they also are trying to because they don't even have
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  time for relationship. They are trying to maintain
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  something back home. So these two people Pilar just
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  on the two opposite ends. That's not necessarily can come
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  together and meet each other to form a meaningful relationship.
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  So how say if you're traveling if you have a good relationship
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  in Nigeria, there's nothing wrong with that game.
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  Married to your partner and travel and then you re like,
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  okay, when you get your papers, you can file for your partner to
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  join you. There's no problem with that,
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  but most times When you're in Nigeria and you're thinking, oh
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  let me just marry this person and hosel and then we'll bring
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  them is a different ballgame when you get here because if you
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  come here and it's an Indian that gives you happiness and no,
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  Nigerian is actually you out while follow the India.
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  Wow. Lodi India person.
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  Listen. I this is an advice for myself
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  as well. You know, follow that person and
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  most times little snot just days because We would eat in some
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  Mary sometimes date for the fun of it.
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  People, don't they for phone? People just want to date is
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  about marriage is about marriage because we Africans is being
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  drummed into our head that once you, you know, go to school.
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  Graduates, get a job marriage. So, nobody is kind of taking
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  their time to date. Everybody's taking their time to
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  just jump into things. So, when you see somebody that
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  is Not ready to jump in as quickly as you want to.
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  That is where people say that nobody in there are no serious
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  men in the Aspera or there are no serious women in diaspora.
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  That is not the case. Sometimes sometimes they are not
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  serious, sometimes they are demons in that group are both
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  men and women, but it is not portion.
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  It is not your portion. If To find somebody whether in
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  diaspora or in Nigeria, that's meets what you want, not just
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  like, satisfying, your friends or your family's needs but your
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  own need your own desire of all you want in a partner.
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  If the person meets that then go ahead, enjoy your life and be
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  happy, be happy. Life is not about marriage is
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  not about who this person must be in Nigeria.
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  And it doesn't must be from your back.
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  This person must be from ebook this person missing, it's a
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  globalized world right now that we live in.
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  If you're waiting for just an able man to marry you, then you
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  get 250 and you say oh there are men asked us.
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  May not know Scott's you start going to night VG.
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  Daddy me, Diego, Carry Me Diego, my husband house.
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  That's why you got me singing. She looked You believe or go
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  cannot do, you'll be going to different mountains to pray for
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  husband where there are so many people that you could get
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  married? Like, I finally difficult and
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  people say there are no Men. Let me just me, like, I don't
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  know. What do you remember his name?
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  I just think people want what they wants and you cannot knock
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  them for wanting what they want. But let us Cast our net wider.
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  If you do that, you will come out on complain, about being in
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  the UK for seven years, and nobody has asked you out.
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  Ask people out both bulbs, go to pubs, by one wise guy, a drink,
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  I can assure you, you have a boyfriend.
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  You would definitely have a boyfriend, but he's not the kind
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  of boyfriend you want. That is now live.
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  You to decide what kind of relationship you want.
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  So thank you very much for watching today's episode.
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  This is where I have to stop today and let me know your
• 17:43
  experience I'm in scarce because Hmm this is a question that we
• 17:49
  need to ask ourselves. I women's class what I'd Aspera
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  or in Nigeria or is it the fact that we have specific
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  requirements that we're looking for and those specific?
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  Requirements, ask us if that is the case, let me know.
• 18:09
  Leave me a comment in the comment section and thank you
• 18:11
  very much for watching. Today's episode for bye.