Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Cameron Mathison Lost His Marriage and His Home And Still Found Happiness In Chapter Two

Transcript

Cameron Mathison Lost His Marriage and His Home And Still Found Happiness In Chapter Two · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, I do part two. We're back.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: It's Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marks taking over the pod.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: And this podcast, of course, is all about chapter two.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: And for a lot of us, the road to chapter
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: two can be full of bumps and twists and turns,
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: but it's how you come out on the other side
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: that really matters, right? Yes.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: And our guest today has gone through a lot of
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: those twists and turns and still chooses to move through
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: his life with gratitude and kindness. You all know him
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: as Drew Cain on General Hospital, and he's got a
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: new holiday movie out now called A Very Arctic Christmas
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: that we're going to hear about. Please say hello to
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: our friend Cameron Matheson. Hey, buddy.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: How are you, man? I'm doing well. I'm happy to
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: be here and talking about all these things. In the intro,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: we went from gratitude and kindness to Drew Cain. So
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: anybody that watches that show will be like, that doesn't
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: add up. Or I mean, how do we go from
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: gratitude and kindness? For those that don't know, my character
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Drew Cain is not, he's.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Not super filled with gratitude and kindness.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: But that must.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Be fun to play something that's so not you. It
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: really is.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: It's the first time in my life I've been doing
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: this for a minute, and that play, anybody like that
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: just started. That's how excited I am. I've played anybody
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: that's literally hated this much. Like I am detested. It's
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: not even a love to hate sort of thing. People
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: just do not like me. It's, I mean, do you.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Find, do people like in grocery stores and stuff that
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: they confuse you with the characters that still have very
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: soap operas is like, I know. Cause I've had friends
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: for years.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Of course you guys, a lot of people in daytime
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: through the, you know, through the years. And it's funny
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: you say grocery stores.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Because literally my two most aggressive encounters were in a
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: grocery store. The first one was a woman started throwing
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: produce at me. I got, I got an apple thrown
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: at me. No, I guess it was mostly apples. And
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: I was like dodging them.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to like, yeah. And she, and it
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: was somewhat playful, but not really, you know what I mean?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Like you are horrible.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, wow, wow.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: You know, trying to catch this. And then the other one,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I was in a grocery store and, and, uh, one
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: of the employees, uh, Had a rolled up magazine and
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I was looking at an aisle and she came up,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: she just started beating me on the back.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Wow. Wickedly whack.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: She said she recognized my voice and she just started
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: laying into me.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Wow. One of my dearest friends is Brandon Barash.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Of course, yeah.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And he's told me, and he said it happens in
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: the grocery store.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the grocery store is a big place.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: He'll just be like picking out something for his kid
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: and somebody will come up and just give him something.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Whenever you feel down by yourself and you want to
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: get recognized, we just go hang out in the grocery store.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: You're doing a good job.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: You're doing a good job. You're so convincing.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: The show just won, what, four daytime Emmys. Yeah.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: It won four daytime Emmys.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: 2026. We won best show. This is the sixth. year
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: in a row that we won the best daytime drama.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: That's amazing. Congrats.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: I just want to say I've been on the show
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: for five and a half years.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I do the math.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: No, I'm, I'm completely kidding. By no means was Drew
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Cain helping with this.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: And let's face it, before you, General Hospital, nobody knew
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: about that show. It never made it. Exactly right.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I put it on the show.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm so grateful to be the one to
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: kind of get it out.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: They were like, General what?
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Well, my first question to you is, and the way
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I'm even going to ask it is, there's obviously some
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: negativity because you've dealt with, you've had a hell of
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: a five years, you know, for people who don't know,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: between losing your mom, I guess, five years ago-ish?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Yep. Sorry.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry about that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Around the same time I lost mine, maybe just, maybe
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: four years ago, right? You went through and beat cancer.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: A separation divorce, a pending divorce, probably, or a long marriage.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we've been separated now for almost four years.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: So that happened around just shortly after that time, too.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: So huge personal upheaval.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: And then you lost your house in the fires.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: And then, yeah, my house and everything.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: That's a hell of a five years, bro.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. And in there, too. Yeah. I, uh, I,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I lost my dog and I also lost
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: my job during that time too. So it was my
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: best job I ever had at home and family and
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: on Hallmark channel.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Co-hosting that.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: That's where I met you.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: First time I met you.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Um, so that it was, it was a really, uh,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: it was a tough, tough stretch and, um, one thing
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: after another, you know, and we've all, we've all got
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: tough stretches and, and, you know, the reason why I
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: love coming on and talking about this on one perspective
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: is because people can relate to a lot of it
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: in maybe just pieces, hopefully just pieces. Hopefully you didn't
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: have a string like that, but it's really about what
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: we do with it. And, um, yeah, I, um, the,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: by the time I got to losing my home. So
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: by the time the fires came, this is if, if,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: for those that forget January of 2025, uh, Palisades and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: also the canyon fire, which is where my house was, um,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I was, I was, it was, I was in a,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: it was a tough spot, right? Like my, my marriage was,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: it was something that I loved. And I, it was
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: a surprise to me that, you know, it was going
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: to end. And it was, it was a real heartbreak
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: for me. My dog dying and my mom passing away
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and me getting through cancer and then the job. And
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: there was other, a couple other little things too. But
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I had like, it might sound strange because everybody's got
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: a different relationship with their home. But I had my home.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I had the place where my kids were at. My
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: kids had also left for college. So my kids had left,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: my wife had left, my mom gone, my dog, like
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: this house that was full.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Of life and energy.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And we had been there for 15 years and kids
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: were raised there.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Married for 22 years?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Married for 22 years, 22 and a bit years. And,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and something about, but I had my home, you know,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: like it was a beautiful home. Everything that I, ever
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: owned was in that home. Everything my kids owned were
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: in that home. It wasn't the kind of thing where
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I had some stuff back with my parents and wherever, or,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you know, I bounced around or I, you know, like
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I had a second home. Like that was, that was
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: our place. It was like the home itself was a
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: member of the family. And I, and I understand that
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: maybe some people are kind of like, it's just a house,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: but it was really important to us. We were, we
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: had that kind of connection with our home. So the
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: morning when The fires were happening. I had, you know,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I got, we all got evacuated and I'm sure, you know, many, many,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: many people that have told you similar stories. Um, I
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: went down and I stayed with Vanessa, my, my ex
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: in her, in the apartment that we had. And we
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: were watching the news and I went up a few
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: times to get stuff, but never really thought the house
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: was going to burn. And, you know, then I went
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: to bed and she was like watching the news and
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: she woke me up at five in the morning. And
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: she said, they're broadcasting from our street.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: The news, you know, they're brought. And so I'm now,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, what? Like, you know, you're waking up
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: and I'm seeing the perspective on the street, but I
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: can't see our exact corner. You know, we're like, we
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: had a corner lot. And so I, you know, I
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: got my car and I snuck up in the fires
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: and there was, you know, houses burning around. I'm speeding
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: through the street. I just kind of like, you had
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: to know, cause, cause there were, sporadic houses that made
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: it and i just had to know like you know
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: it was probably a little foolish but my point in
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: saying all this and getting back to you leading into
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: this is that um the moment i come up and
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: i we have a wall and you know this two-story
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: house and so i could see the house over over
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: the this front wall and there was nothing there and
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: then i pulled the walkway and Even before this, I
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: was hyperventilating. And even before this, it looked like nothing
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: had ever been built on our block. It looked like
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: the houses were below ground. And I'm telling you guys
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: things that I know you already know. But below ground,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: there was nothing. There was chimneys and nothing.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: And you can't really, as you're saying it, you feel
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: like you have to really explain it because people who
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: have not seen it can't fathom the weight of it.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Like we have a place in Malibu, so we know
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: what you're talking about. You go back and it feels
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: like a completely different place. Not only have you lost
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: your home, you've lost your entire neighborhood.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's absolutely true. And that's a, um, And in that moment,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: like you're alluding to, walking in, which felt like a
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: war zone, it felt like a bad green screen in
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: a movie. It was so bizarre. Orange sky, fires everywhere.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Like it was so surreal. But anyway, in that moment,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I'm walking down the path and I'm videoing for Vanessa
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: and I, you know, for the kid, like, you know,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I'm videoing to show, cause I just, you know, I
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: got to get in and get out of there. Cause
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: the fumes and, And fire everywhere. And in that moment,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: like I've never heard those sounds come out, like hyperventilating,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: just in absolute shock. But I had little glimpses of, well,
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: now it's all gone.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Now, like.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: like almost a relief, almost like, okay, you've got nothing.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Like I had nothing. I had five possessions. My kids
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: were gone to college and wife's relationship over like dog.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Now it's like, now there was moments where like, okay,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: This is, you know, who are you going to be?
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: What's this chapter going to be? It's a blank canvas.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I do part two. Like, what is this going to
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: be from now on? Now you really are going to
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: sort of recreate yourself in a sense.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: You're literally forced to start over.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: And those moments were rare, but like, you know, were fleeting.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: But they were there. And I remember them. And I
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: remember feeling like, hmm. Now it's all gone now. And
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: there's nothing that, cause I was really graspy at the house.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Like I was like, I, it was the last thing.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: It was the last thing that I had. And then
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: when that was gone, you know, here we go.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Right. You're forced into what do you paint on the
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: new blank canvas?
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Do you think that part of that had something to
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: do with, because you said you were surprised that your,
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: your marriage was over after so many years, but do
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: you think maybe because the kids were gone, now the
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: house is gone, you've gone through so much, your mom's
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: no longer there. Did you feel at any point, like
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: maybe this was all kind of leading up to accepting that?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I absolutely like, there was a lesson here. There was like,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: if that's what you're getting at, like this was an
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: opportunity for really deep acceptance for really like, and I
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: think those were the sort of the fleeting moments. Maybe
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I was trying to describe without saying like, yeah, this was,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: this was, um, it's funny cause that it seems so easy, um,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: to hear the word acceptance. I like to say patient acceptance,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: like really, peaceful, deep acceptance. It seems so simple and easy,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: but so often, and I can only really speak for myself,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: but I think in general, people resist. I can't believe
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: this is happening. This isn't, how can this be happening
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: to me?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I refuse to believe this.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: I refuse, this isn't, and it's, my reality in that
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: moment didn't match reality. My reality, there was like this
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: disconnect and it was like, it wasn't jiving and we've
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: all had things like that. but it's happening and you
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: just got to accept. And in that place of acceptance,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: as people far wiser than me have been saying for
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: a very long time in that place of acceptance is, is,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: you know, a multitude of solution. When you're in the
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: mind of rejection, I can't believe it's tight and narrow
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: and small. And there's no, you're not, you're just obsessing
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: and you're stuck.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Was there a moment where you thought like, this is
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: just my new normal. I'm not getting past this. My
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: life is now on a downward spiral. Was there a
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: moment where you thought I can't.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Deal with this? Or were you always with this great attitude?
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Like, did you always know that there was something better
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: on the other side?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I was, I would definitely spiral like
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: to your, yeah. Like I was like, what else? Like what,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: what else, what else can come? Like, like you said,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: almost dying from cancer, getting through it during my recovery.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: My mom gets diagnosed with brain cancer, passes away. I
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: lose my job. People very, very dear to me almost died,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: which is, you know, not my story to tell. Then
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: my wife wanted a divorce after 23 years, my dog
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: died in my house, but like, it was, it was
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: just like, bang, bang, bang. And, and so I was like, wow, like,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: What's next?
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: What got you through it? I was going to say,
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: did you have, for lack of a better term, a
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: coping mechanism going into any of this, like spiritually or
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: just from your past before this in terms of meeting
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: adversity that you used to get through any of it?
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I would say yes to that. I study and practice
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: and meditate in Buddhist psychology and philosophy and and really
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: in a sense learning to be aware of sort of
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: negative states of mind, of anger, of attachment, of jealousy,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: of fear, of anxiety and whatever, and catching them and using,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: you know, opponents, love, compassion, gratitude, patience, generosity, and training
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: in these things through meditation and through study and through
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: all sorts of different ways. And I, you know, I was,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I was using those quite successfully through these different big
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: life challenges that were happening where it really fell off
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: was at the, it was at the, after the house,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: like after the house. And I say that, I think.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: What do you mean fell off?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Like, like my practice of, of being mindful of, for instance, when,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: when I found out that, you know, Vanessa wanted a
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: full separation and, you know, start seeing other people. I
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: was at a real, real low in my life. And those,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: that spiritual practice, that, that training in, in, in meditation
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and that training in, in cultivating, you know, gratitude or
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: love or compassion, or that's very powerful effect on the mind.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: It was the only thing that was saving me at
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: that time. And I was really on it. Like I
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: was on it. I would spiral, not sleep at night
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: and won't eat. And then I would kind of get
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: back to it and, and really just rely and rely.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: And it was very effective for me. Um, and trying
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: to help others too. I was, I was, as we know,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that's the real secret is just like trying to help
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: others going through similar things. And then when the house
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: came around and I lost, you know, you know, all
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: physical things, everything, um, it was so overwhelming. It was,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: it's such a unique and strange loss, uh, that it's
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: hard to describe. And I hope nobody has to try
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: to figure it out, but it's, um, and, also because
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: logistically it was a nightmare. Like logistically, it still is.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: We're still not done.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: You asked about my house.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: You asked about the property.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: The reason why I haven't started rebuilding and I've, I've,
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: you know, purchased something else is it's still, it's, it's
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: a nightmare. And, and for months and months, it was nonstop, nonstop.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: And so because of that too, you're getting worked up,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: you're focusing, you're doing logistics, insurance and lawsuits and, and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: contents and, And, you know, structure, you got to get
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: the architect on. What was our housemate? Like you're getting
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: all these insurance, but it was so nuts. It was,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: you know, and, and I had support. Imagine for the
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: people that, you know, it's got to be so horrible.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: See, I think when you go through so much like that,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: even if you are prepared and you have your practice
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: and you are, you know, generally grateful the way you
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: are and aware of all the things, there comes a
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: time when it's one hit after another, after another, after another,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: where you just want to be like, Like I want
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: to wallow in this bullshit for a while. Like, like
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: I want to feel sorry for myself and I want
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: to feel like shit and just let me.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Right. But is that what you were alluding to? Because
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I felt like you didn't, when I said, what do
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: you mean it fell off? You mean that the, the,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: the aftermath of realizing the house is gone, all the
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: contents are gone and also the beginning of the nightmare
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: of insurance and like you said lawsuits and the thing
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: that's still to this day two years later going on
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: when you say fell out i'm just trying to be
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: uh clear and understand spiritual practice you went through a
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: period of why me why like so you didn't really
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: experience that before but it was really this was the
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: tipping point is what you're saying i.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: I definitely handled things you know less than perfectly at
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: times before for sure but caught myself i feel like
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: i caught myself um you know, pretty.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Quickly and- Recalibrated.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, recalibrated and really tried to reframe it and understand
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: and like, you know, and use, these are not tricks
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: of the mind. These are things that are based in
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: like wisdom and logic and they're very, and they're real.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: It just takes you out of that spiral of anger
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: and anxiety and fear and into a more of a
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: real peaceful, you know, calm place. And when things got
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: just even more crazy after the fires and then like
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: logistically crazy, emotionally crazy, financially, you know, lost millions. That's
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: when I just, you know, there was more anger, you know,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: you know, I lost tons of weight. I couldn't, you know,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: it was, it was just, there was a lot of fear.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of what's going to happen. What's next.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: It was, you know, it, It was scary. And in
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: a sense, I mean, in a sense, there's still aspects
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: of that, of those things happening, but I'm in, I'm
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: in a much better place.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: What happened that where you realized, Oh, oh, that's why
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: all this happened? Was there a moment where you were like, oh,
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: it all had to happen for me to either learn
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: this or appreciate this place or this time or this moment?
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good question. I'm not sure I've fully
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: answered that. to myself, but what comes up for me
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: as you're asking it is, um, I feel like I've
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: probably been like a lot of people, maybe, um, I
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: don't know if this is going to make sense, but,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: but driven by everything, you know, going well externally. Like if, if,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: if things are going well externally, my relationship, my kids,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: my family, my house, my, things my job my my
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: my you know my whatever my respect in the business
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: my what all the if all these things are are
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: in the right place i'm good and if you put
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: your happiness and if you put your peace of mind
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: and your head you know you don't need me to
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: tell you this but in these external conditions and situations
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: and places and people and things and whatever you're doomed Yeah.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: If your happiness is in anything that can be taken away.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: You're doomed because that's, because life is, you're going to
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: go through stuff and things are going to be taken
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: away and, and we're going to get old and you,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: you know, you're bought this or you're like, you're, you
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: lose a job or you're going to lose a parent.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: You get like, of course. So I think even though
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: I was practicing and I feel like I, you know, I've,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: you know, I've, I've studied these beautiful teachings for a
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: long time and meditate and try to incorporate them into
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: my life and make, there's still a part of me,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I think that was really hanging on. And, and, and
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: when the house went that, I think I, I make
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: up that that freedom that I felt at times, you know,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: at little blips was, there was kind of nothing left
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: to kind of grasp at. And, and now it was
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: up to me and that was up to me. And
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: of course, only real, true, pure, lasting happiness comes from within.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: It was from, it comes from, cultivating a peaceful, loving,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: compassionate mind, helping others, doing things. And then even in
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: the face of adversity, things are going well, right. Things
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: aren't going well, no problem. I got this because we're
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: good here. And I think I really trained like that
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: for a long time, but this was my test to
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: kind of really take it to the next level.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I will say, Cameron, that had you sort of
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: immediately gone to I'm leaning into my practice and what
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I already know to be true. And I'm going right
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: to acceptance. And if that's the story you just told me,
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: I would have been really annoyed.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: If I said that.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Because I'd be like, okay, bull.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: No, yeah.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Because people need to hear, which is valuable in a
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: conversation like this for the people who are listening to this.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really inspiring and wonderful that you have found
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: or are still finding your way back to that feeling
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: that you had before through your other adversities. But to
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: have a tipping point, to have a thing that happens
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: where you go, oh, that's out the window right now.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I can't lean into that right now. I don't have
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: the capacity to just accept. I'm pissed. And it's okay.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: You know, it's okay. I think that there does come
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: a point. I mean, I feel this way about myself.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I feel about it with Daisy. I especially feel about
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: it with my three sons that there is a point
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: when you have to, okay, that's fine, but it's time
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: to like suck it up now. It's time to figure
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: out another path that isn't anger and that isn't pity
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: and self-pity. But it's totally okay to give yourself some
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: time to be like, I'm pissed off or I'm grieving.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: You know, on that note, and I didn't realize it,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: but on that note, because I was so programmed, you know,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: to try to kind of go to the solution quick,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: kind of like to your point, even though I was
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: having those feelings and those kind of spirals, but I
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: didn't realize. So we started talking about my character on
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: General Hospital, Drew Cain. I didn't realize like I was
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: getting a lot out there. Like I am an ass
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: on that show. And, and, and it's not that I
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: want to go around and being asked to people, that's
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: not it. But there was a, there was a release there.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: There was like a part of me there that just
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: wanted to yell and scream and cry and punch a
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: pillow or, you know, do all the things that you
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: do when things aren't, when you have horrible things happen.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: But that sort of part of me was sort of
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: coming out sideways with this character.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I get that. I get that.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: The next day. The next day, literally after the fires,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I guess it must have been January 9th. I'm assuming
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: it wasn't the 8th. I'm assuming it was the 9th.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I went to General Hospital and I had like most
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: of the town, which is Port Charles, of people like
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: screaming and yelling at me and being mean to me.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And after every take, they'd call a cut and they'd
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: be like, I'm so sorry.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. This poor guy's been through enough.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: But I got to give it to him back too,
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: like in that day. And.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: And there was some sort of a release there. And
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I think there still is.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But you're right. You're right.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, Cameron, we obviously can talk to you forever.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: And I think we will. I think we've run out
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: of time now, but let's pick this up. Talk about
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: his new Christmas movie and where he.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Is in life right now.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Thanks, Cameron.