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The Lucky Girl Habits That Actually Work · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on Gadigal land. Always was, always
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal land. Hey, chicks, I'm Al.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: And I'm Sal.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: And this is Two Broke Chicks, the show that shares
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: life lessons and tips to help make you rich in life.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: And I hope you're all feeling lucky because this is
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: a song about a girl named Lucky. We are talking
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: how to embrace your lucky girl life. era. We're giving
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you the science behind being lucky. Where did the lucky
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: girl term come from? And yeah, basically how to embrace
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: it in your everyday life according to science.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Backed by the science.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Backed by science.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Lucky girl science. So before we get into it, Sally Bailey,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: love of my life. What is your obsession of the week?
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Life. My obsession of the week is actually a new
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: monthly series that, huh?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I said me.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's just a daily obsession.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I was feeling lucky. She was.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: She was putting it out there. Do you know what
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: we should bring back? What?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Saying sorry. Say like when you get laid, saying I
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: got lucky.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, I know.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Like in a long-term relationship.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, like coming into it being like, got lucky
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: last night. Yeah, I like that.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Everyone's like that's inappropriate for a workplace convo.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. Fuck, if you guys heard half the
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: shit I say at work, everyone would die.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, my obsession of the week is actually a monthly
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: series that I stumbled across that is published by The
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Guardian Australia every month on their Instagram. And this is
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: so nerdy, but I was like, this is actually a
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: really helpful resource. And every month they share Australia's best
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: value fruit and veggies. Oh!
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Obsessed. How good is that?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Because in a previous episode, we were talking about tips
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: to save money on your groceries. And one of the
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: things that we were saying is how obviously fruit and
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: veggies are seasonal. So there are better times of the
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: year to buy things, not only in terms of quality,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: but also the cost as well. And I was like,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: if you're looking for ways to save on your grocery shop,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I would definitely recommend looking at this. So for example,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: for September, apparently artichokes are a plenty. So they're cheaper
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: at the moment. Also pumpkin, rhubarb as well. But they
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: do say that limes are going to be more expensive.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Due to low supply this.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Time of year.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: I know, the vodka lime sodas.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: What are we going to do? The taco Tuesdays. Yeah,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: anybody think of the tacos.
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: Have to get those like pre-squeezed bottles from Woolies.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'll fang those around too.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: I'm always going a fresh lime.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: I know. I prefer a fresh lime as well. But
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: if they have like the little lemon bottle or the
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: lime juice bottle, I'm like squeezing the shit out of that. Yeah.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: So at this time of year. Gimme, gimme more, gimme more, gimme,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: gimme more. I love it.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: All the Britney references this app.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And then at the end they have like a little
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: wrap up of your buy, watch and avoid. So they
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: say buy broccoli, mandarins and silverbeet.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: Watch blueberries and avoid cucumber and dill.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: So they have like a full list of the produce
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: and also recipes and stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, that's so helpful.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: But I was like, that is such a handy little
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: resource every month.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: So I thought I'd share. Oh, 10 out of 10.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: What's your obsession?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: My obsession of the week is a Spotify playlist. You
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: and I have discussed this. Called Chessie's Denim Shirt in
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the Parent Trap.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Honestly.
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  Speaker 1: And this playlist has gone absolutely viral. It has over
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: 120,000 views. And it's literally based on the vibes of
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: being a nanny in The Parent Trap who lives with
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: a family and just wears a denim shirt. Yeah.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: And her whole energy and vibe is just immaculate.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: It's perfect. It's perfect. And, like, the playlist, 10 out
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: of 10. But I was like, what else does this
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: chick have? Because I was like, that shows me you've
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: got good vibes, right? Yeah.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So another playlist of hers is Running Through an Airport
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: for a Last Minute Love Confession. Love that. I know.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: And it's got, you know, the dog days are over. Perfect.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: You know, that kind of vibe. She's also got Girl
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Who's Going to Be Okay. We do love. Shane and
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Ilya's Wedding Montage.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: The Power of Friendship, which has the Zara Larsson dolphins
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: as like the thumbnail. So this chick is just 10
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: out of 10 for the playlist. So I'll link her
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: in the show notes. She's also got one called Nicole
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Kidman's Bangs in Practical Magic. Oh, my God. No, like
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, cool, I don't actually ever need to
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: do anything ever again. She's your DJX. Yeah, she's my DJX.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: She's got one called Mary-Kate and Ashley Movie Vibes. Send
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: me that link.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: Send me that link.
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  Speaker 1: Just like really good job to this chick. Very proud
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: of you. Keep up the good work. Make one for
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the chicks. Make one for us. Yeah, I love that.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So that's my obsession. She's also got one called Tony
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Stark's Flow State. Okay. I just feel like we would
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: get along.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: I think so.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like we would get along. Yeah. I think
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I have a parasocial relationship with this chick who makes
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Spotify playlists. Yeah, well, the.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Nicher the playlists, the better, I think.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: 1,000%.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Anyway, and I knew you would appreciate that because you're
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: also an avid playlist maker.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: I am. I feel like we would have some good convos.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Where does she live?
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Drop a pin.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Let's find her. Yeah. Come here. Come here. Come here.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Come here. Very good. Thank you. All right. Let's get
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: into being lucky. I'm getting lucky. We're getting lucky, girls.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, so what is Lucky Girl Syndrome?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: It's obviously become a huge trend over the last couple
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: of years with one very simple concept at its core.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: If you keep telling the universe about how lucky you are,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: it will come true. It's basically manifesting the luck you
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: need to get all the things that you want for yourself.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: And the Lucky Girl Syndrome also goes hand in hand
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: with some lures. We did an episode on these a
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: few months ago, I think. But the first one is
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: the law of assumption. So the concept that whatever you
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: assume is true in your mind will eventually become your
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: physical reality. And the law of attraction. So a spiritual
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: belief stating that your thoughts and focus bring positive or
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: negative experiences into your life, which I love that. And
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: another way you can look at it is like an
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: extremely positive version of Murphy's Law. You've seen Interstellar. or
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: you have a boyfriend, you've heard of this. Yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: You know, this law states that anything that can go
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: wrong will go wrong. But the lucky girl reframe of
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: it essentially is that anything that can go well will
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: go well. I like that. It's kind of like, you know,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: how we'll always say like the what if, like people
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: can be like, what if it goes wrong? But it's like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: but what if it goes right?
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Which I do like this as a practice because most
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: people have more of a negative bias. I think human
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: brains are kind of just wired that way.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Do you think you're lucky?
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: I was born in Australia.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: I think it's very lucky.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: And I've also won a fair few giveaways and competitions
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: in my life.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: I think some of those things, there's a little bit
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: of skill involved.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: In there to even get chosen like they weren't all
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: by chance yeah but still to have like my submission
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: looked at and then chosen I think is very lucky
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: what about you yes but.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I think that's because I just always have my hopes
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: up the hopes are high the hopes like have to
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: have high high hopes for living but like I genuinely
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I think I live in my own reality sometimes but
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like yeah I'll be fine.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Things will work out.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: It'll be great. And like it doesn't sometimes. But I
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: too have won I think maybe like four competitions back
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: in the day. I think I won like a $ 1, 000
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Windsor Smith voucher when I was like 18. And that
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: was the best.
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  Speaker 4: I'd love to see the whole.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: That was the best day of my life, honestly. And
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I got some good time out of all those shoes,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: bought some Christmas presents with it. I also won $ 1, 000
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: on the radio show. Once I won tickets to go
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: see Aladdin in Sydney Capital Theatre. Excellent show. So, yeah,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I also would say I feel quite lucky. Yeah. I
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: like it. Yes.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I like it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: And the trend became popular on TikTok around 2022 after
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: a content creator named Laura Galeeb, apologies if I'm pronouncing
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: that wrong, posted a video saying extreme optimism attracts good fortune.
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  Speaker 2: And since then, the hashtag LuckyGirlSyndrome has close to 270,000
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: posts on TikTok and more than 100 million views. And
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: the hashtag also has more than 109,000 posts on Instagram.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: So it's definitely taken off.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: It's taken off. And obviously it's not a new thing
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: because like manifesting your ideal reality has been around for eons. But.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: the idea, these ideas originated in the new thought movement,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: which is actually in like the early 20th century. So
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: in some of the most literal interpretations of this movement,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: it suggested that positive thoughts are like a tangible force,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: like similar to gravity that you can harness. And like,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: we have a friend who literally thinks this, like who
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: literally is like, I can manipulate the atoms around me
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: to get what I want. But do you think this
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: is a realistic interpretation?
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I think of it literally.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Like I don't think because there's also so many things
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: that are like negative experiences that would happen to people
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: who are probably very optimistic and like do a lot
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: of hard work and do, you know, have a lot
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: of like positive outlooks on life and like shit things
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: still happen. And also even as like two very lucky people,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: like we've also experienced hardships of our own and like
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: every single person listening to this would have experienced that too.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: But I do think that there is power in like
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: sharing and having positive thoughts because when you are sort
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: of in like a bad place and you're telling yourself
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: like negative things are going to happen, where's the motivation
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: to actually make things work?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you agree? I agree. I do think like
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: obviously as well for a lot of I think women
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: as well sometimes like will put hard work under the
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: basket or in the basket of, like, being lucky. Like,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: if you get a promotion, it's not because you're lucky.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: It's because you work really hard.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Totally. Or if, like, something
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: good happens to you, like, sometimes that's not luck. Sometimes that's, like,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: the fruit of your labor, right?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: So.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: In that interpretation. But in this interpretation, I do also
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: think there is like a bit of a magic to
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: the mentality. Like we have spoken about it before about
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: when I found an old notebook from like 10 years ago,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: probably now at this stage, when I like first moved
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: into my like apartment and I was like really entering
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: a new phase of life and it was like if
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: money wasn't an object, like what would you want in
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: your life? And so I just went like balls to
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: the wall and I was like, I want to write
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: a book. I want to have my– work for myself
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: and have my own company. I want a pet. I
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: want to– like and it was all these like really
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: random things that like I did not like think would
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: be in the pipeline for me at any point in time.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And like all of them were true. Yeah. And all
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: of them had happened. And like even when we created
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: vision boards and I remember looking back at the end
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: of the year at the vision board and I was like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: holy shit. I was like actually– All of that happened.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: And I just like to believe in like the magic
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: as well. Like I know that, yeah, also fucking shit happens.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Not everything's going to be lucky all the time. And
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's not luck. Sometimes it is the fact that
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: you work really fucking hard. But I also think it's
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: important to believe in the magic as well as all
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: of those things because I'm like that's where for me
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: like fun comes from. Like feeling like I can make
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: my own luck makes me happy as well.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, which I think is the power of this.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: And there are.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Limited studies and scientific evidence that manifestation as a magical
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: force is like a guaranteed way to make things.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Happen in your life. It's all true.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: However, like you're saying, there is evidence about optimism and
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: its effect on people. Findings from studies as early as
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: 2010 suggest optimism exerts an indirect influence on the quality
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: of life. It encourages a healthier lifestyle, adaptive behaviors, and
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: cognitive responses to stress, greater flexibility, problem-solving capacity, and a
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: more efficient way of processing negative information, which I think
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: we can see in like these examples that you've given
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: as well because it's associated with better psychological well-being as
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: well as a better quality and quantity of social relationships
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: because if you do have vision for your life and
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: you look at things with optimism and you believe in
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: yourself and you have like grand hopes for your life,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: whether that's like travelling overseas or having a pet, like
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: all of those things are obviously going to put you
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: in a better stead than if you're like nothing good
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: is ever going to.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Happen to me. Yeah, because why would you try? Like
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: why would you try if you just felt like nothing
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: good is ever going to happen? And the thing is
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: as well, like I also have been in the pits too.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Like when you're depressed and when you're struggling mentally, like
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: it's really fucking hard to be optimistic. And, you know,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: we'll address that in a little bit as well about
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: the difference between lucky girl syndrome and toxic positivity. But
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: the thing is like we think about our futures twice
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: as much as we think about our past. And the
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: thing about positive thinking that many researchers have actually pointed
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: out is that there needs to be more emphasis on
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: action rather than thoughts, because the action is what makes
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: the reality come to life. But I think that's kind
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: of what helps when you have like, when you know
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: what you want for yourself or what is your idea
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: of lucky, because you do take actions, whether or not
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: it's consciously or subconsciously to move towards those things to
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: move you towards the outcomes that you want. And I
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: think you don't focus as much on the outcomes that
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you didn't want. Yeah. And, like, fuck me, I can
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: be a whingy bitch sometimes. So, like, you know this,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: but even now we have this saying we got from
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Drag Race when we're being whingy bitches. And, like, there
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: is a time and a place. Of course. It is
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: very important to be a whingy bitch. Mm. Light and shade.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Light and shade.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Sometimes.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Some of my favourite memories are when we're being whingy bitches. Yeah.
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: But there's a time and place for the whingy bitch
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: and then you've got to kind of yank her out
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: of there and be like, no, no. And we say
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: PMA and it's positive mental attitude from Bimini Bombalesh. Yeah.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Bimini.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Bimini. Bimini. And she just said, PMA.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: PMA.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: And it really stuck. So like whenever we're in that zone,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: we'll be like PMA. We just go PMA, PMA.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: What's the silver lining?
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: PMA, it's fine.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: What's the life lesson we can get out of this?
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: What's like the stepping stone that this is going to
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: give us?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Or like is this something worth ruining the whole day?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Like I often think like if something has upset me
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: or whatever, I'm like would I still like even be
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: angry about this or upset about this in an hour
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: if not? it's probably time to build the bridge, like,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: and move on. Like, obviously feel the feelings, but, like,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: don't sit in it, you know? And so there was
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: actually a 2018 study of successful female leaders that found
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: that as well as being positive, they also work extremely
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: hard and they often make sacrifices giving up pleasurable pastimes
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: to chase their goal and they also invest in relationships
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: and prioritise learning. So kind of like what we were
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: saying before, it's not just luck, especially... for women like
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: i do think we have a lot of drive i
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: do think we make our own luck these things don't
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: just happen to us they happen from us essentially yeah
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and it's yeah worth noting that a positive attitude can
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: do wonders for your life and mental health but it's
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: not going to prevent anything negative from ever happening to
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: you ever again i'd love to live in that universe
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: where i just didn't even see it like yeah.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: That would be the dream.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: That's the thing as well because there is also a
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: fine line between lucky girl syndrome and toxic positivity, which
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: if you haven't heard of is when positivity is treated
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: like it's a mandatory and when serious negative emotions are
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: dismissed or minimized, which like you were saying, there's time
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: to be a shit and you've been dealt like a
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: shit situation and you don't have to be.
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: Like, what's the silver lining out of this?
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Sometimes there's no silver lining. Yeah, exactly.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Sometimes things happen and it just doesn't make sense. And
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: if taken too far, the lucky girl syndrome can be
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: interpreted as not allowing for negative emotions at all, which
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: isn't sustainable because negative feelings.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: That'll just bottle up.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: And negative feelings are a part of life and it also.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: like helps you appreciate when good things do happen to you.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I think about that all the time. Like if all
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: the shit that has been a bit of a rough go,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: like I'm like, but if that didn't happen, that wouldn't
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: have happened. And I really like that. I didn't like
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the other thing as it was happening, but now I like,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I hate it when mum was right and everything does
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: happen for a reason. Some things are just shit and
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: they will just be shit and you sit in that
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: for a little bit. But as you always say, you
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: take the shirt off, you wash it and you put
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: it back in the closet again.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: An oldie but a goodie.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that's the thing to distinguish like
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: a clear and healthy middle ground that helps you sit
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: in between those two things and know that like you
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: don't have to be one or the other all the time.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: So like if you are going through a bit of
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: a shit time, you can be like this is tough
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: but I'm doing what I can or I've been.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: Through hard times before and I know I can get
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: through it.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So how to make your own luck. The lucky
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: girl syndrome is, you know, built on the concept of luck,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: but luck itself as well as optimism isn't just like
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: kind of this like magic make-believe idea that came out
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: of nowhere, but it's backed by science. And this is
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: my favorite part of this episode. Yeah.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: So the principle of evidence-based identity comes into play here,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: and it's the idea that a person shapes their own
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: personal character around objectivity, data, and empirical facts. This is
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: especially important when you consider the fact that your brain
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: retains what you repeatedly show it. You don't just think
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: your thoughts, you become them, which is really interesting. Your
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: brain operates on a framework called Hebbian learning, and this
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: is the idea that neuron connections are strengthened when the
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: neurons fire at the same time. So through repetition, the
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: same neurons are firing, you're creating faster pathways and generating
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: more efficient thoughts to help get you where you want
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: to go. But like this can happen either way, depending
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: on what the thoughts are. Like if you're constantly thinking
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: negative thoughts, or if you're constantly thinking positive thoughts, your
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: brain gets used to that repetition and it's like, okay,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I know what to do now. And it will sort
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: of like steer you in that direction. So by repeating
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: positive thoughts, we learn to make.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: This our default.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I think it's also a bit more than just positive
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: thoughts too. I think it's about like recognizing like when
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: you feel lucky, like when something good happens or like purposely–
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: making those scenarios for yourself. So this, like I know
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: that might have sounded like a lot of science for
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: some of the chicks. So to put it in like
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: our cheeky terms is like if you constantly say to yourself,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: like the best example for this is like, you know,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I'm not a runner. Like I can't run, I don't run,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I can't do it. So because you don't go and run,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: like and I'm saying like, yeah, you're able-bodied and can
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: go outside for a run, right?
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: That your brain will go, well, yeah, we don't run
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: so we obviously can't run.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: And so the more often you say I can't run,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: I can't run and you're not running, then your brain's like, yeah,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: we can't do that because I haven't seen us do it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: So that makes sense. That lines up with what you're
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: telling me and the evidence I have in our memories.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Because your brain can't remember every single thing like that
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: has ever happened. I can't even remember what I had
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: for dinner last night. But then when you, if you
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: go outside and you go for a run, your brain goes,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: but we just, we did run. We can run.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: So by giving your brain evidence of things, it actually
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: rewires your belief system and your belief system is what
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: creates your identity. So if you start looking around every
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: day and realizing or creating scenarios that are going to
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: make you feel lucky, that is going to rewire your
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: brain's belief system to create a lucky identity. So, for example,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: like when we were away, we have another friend who
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: is she– like I actually reckon she would put it
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: on her resume. Like she would have LGS on her resume.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: She'd be like, lucky girl, like whenever she goes into
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: a restaurant, like we could go to four restaurants, right,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: and the first three would be like we don't have
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: any tables. And by the time we got to the
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: fourth and they had a fourth table, she'd be like,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: look at that, lucky girl.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, lucky girl syndrome.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Lucky girl syndrome. And she's not focusing on the fact
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: that we went to three restaurants prior to that and
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: we couldn't get a table. It's when the good thing happened,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: she's going– lucky.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Girl and like it's made up but like it's not
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: like it's not we're not actually talking literal go buy
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: a scratchy and try to enter the lottery or anything
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: like that it's literally about like making your own like
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: i keep thinking of that lindsey lohan movie.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Same like that's my life yes great movie underrated we
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: should watch it on the plane i would i concur.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: So there's an actual study and practice that you can
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: do every day that costs $ 0 to be a lucky girl.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: It's called the three good things exercise. So participants wrote
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: down three things that went well for them in their
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: day and why, and they did this for a week.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Very small, very small practice, which is why I love this.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: And the results show that the participants were happier and
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: had decreased symptoms of depression for up to six months
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: after concluding the study and because most of them continued
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: doing it, which is cool. Like some of them found
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: the practice so rewarding that they kept up the habit
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: after the study was done. And it became like a
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: self-fulfilling prophecy slash habit that like, because they knew that
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: they were going to be writing these three things down
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, throughout their day, they
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: started looking for the three things. They started being like, oh,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: that could be one of my Or that could be
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: one of my three things. And rather than either going
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: through life like a bit pessimistic and being like, oh,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I missed the bus or I did this. And even
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: neutral where you don't even necessarily notice the negative things
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: but you don't necessarily recognize the positive things either. This
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: kind of created a version of themselves that looked for
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: the lucky moments in their day. Yeah.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And that's what I loved about it, that I was like,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I'm doing that. I was like, sold. High as bidder. Oh.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I know. I just got whipped by my own fringe jacket.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I liked it. So this is kind of like the
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: reworked version of like count your blessings and it doesn't
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: have to take too much time or energy. You can
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: even do it with a friend. Like at the end
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: of every day you text each other being like, all right,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: three things, let's go. Yeah. Like what's your three things today?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: And you don't have to make it like super intense.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: You can make it funny and silly and some of
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: them can be earnest.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: You can be like, I wore my new jacket today
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: and I really liked it and it was fun. And
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: then the other one could be, you know, you got
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: praise at work for whatever you're doing and then the
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: other one could be like, And when I got to
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: the bus stop, it got there one minute after. And
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I was like, yes, lucky girl. Love that feeling. Like,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: what are they?
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: So good.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: You know? And, like, focusing on that. And I just
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: thought that was the coolest thing ever.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Another one to make your own luck is loving kindness meditation.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: So....
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: This actually helps kickstart the positive thoughts within yourself that
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: you can then turn into reinforceable action, which I do
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: think is helpful if you're maybe somebody who doesn't always
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: initially go in with the most positive thought.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: You know, you need something to help like jumpstart the thought.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: And it is rooted in Buddhist traditions, but this meditation
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: has also been researched in modern science.
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: Which I thought was interesting too.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: In a study of working adults, half of them were
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: assigned the practice of loving kindness meditation. And the results
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: showed that over time, there were increases in daily experiences
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: of positive emotions, which then turned into a wider range
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: of personal resources like increased mindfulness, purpose in life, and
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: also social support. So how do you actually do it?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: So the meditation can be done with the following steps.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Number one, sit comfortably with a straight back.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Fuck. Yeah, I know. I was like, yes. We're all ready. Well,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: consider me unlucky.
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we're already climbing an uphill battle.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: That's already hard. I know. Oh, my God.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: Okay, step two, detect. The fact that you paused and
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: looked at me.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, I know. Is like diabolical, by the way,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: that you were like, well.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: I'm prawn back. I thought we were in this together.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Sexy prawn.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Another thing I know that we need help with, detect
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: areas of tension. So shoulders and neck are common. So
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: you know that I always see that post going around
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: and it's like drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, drop
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: your eyebrows and like release the tension.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Put your tongue from the top of your roof back down.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I saw the other day? What?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: We're going to do this right now. Close your eyes.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: And feel.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: No.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Close your eyes. Relax your face. I'm not going to
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: like touch you or anything. Like that's why you look
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: scared of me that I'm going to crawl across. Yeah,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: you probably will be like. I won't.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Okay. And now try to relax your brain. Like release,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: like if you could control your brain, take a breath
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: and try to like relax your brain.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: I can feel it in there. I know.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Sit down. And you try to release the– like if
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: your brain could tent and if it could release, try
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: to do that feeling. And I did it and I
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Right? Okay, crazy.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: We've got a brain hack in the middle of the meditation.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes. Then take a few deep breaths and relax
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: and repeat a few self-affirming phrases to yourself. Like may
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I be well, happy, and peaceful or may I get
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: what I've always dreamed of. And you can also broaden
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: these phrases out to your loved ones and other people.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: So like may we be well, happy, and.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Peaceful and like think about. It's like casting a spell.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: It is. Love that. I think my favorite thing about
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: this is and the kind of running theme of this
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: episode is like become your own luck. Life happens from you,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: not to you. You can become a luck engineer. You
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: can literally start by creating your own luck by also
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: understanding the four types of luck. So Dumb luck, luck
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: through motion, luck through preparation, luck that finds you. And
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I'm now at the point of the episode where I've
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: said luck so many times that it's starting to make
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: me laugh.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: That sounds weird.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: And it feels weird in my mouth now.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Lucky.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Not the first time I've said that. Ha! God help us.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Come on, girl. So dumb luck is the things you
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: can't control. You know, it's the stuff that makes you
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: want to buy a lottery ticket, happens by chance at random,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and stuff. for example, getting randomly featured in a positive
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: news article, finding your person on the dating apps. But
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: like dumb luck is, you know, when you find a
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: fucking coin, when you find a penny, you pick it
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: up for the rest of the day. You have good luck,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: you know? then there's luck through motion also called luck
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: by hustle so this is earned luck stemming from consistently
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: showing up the more you're present the more doors open
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: simple maths then luck through preparation also known as luck
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: by choice this is the kind of luck that comes
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: from experience and awareness and when you've tried and failed
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: enough times to learn lessons that others haven't and that's
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: your wisdom. And then luck that finds you, also known
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: as luck by character. This is when you've been around
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: and made yourself well-known enough for opportunities to find you.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: It's partly due to how you show up, the energy
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: you give off, your values, integrity and consistency. So these
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: are all ways that you can shoot your shot because,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: you know, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Shoot your shot mentality.
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: And I will die on that hill.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I have always, always been like the situation, if ever
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, what if, what if, what if, if
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: the situation is the same as if you didn't try,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: then what's the harm in trying?
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Like if you want to go for a job and
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, but like I'm not going to get
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: all this. Well, you're not going to get it if
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: you don't apply anyway. So like shoot the shot. The
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: amount of people that we've like tried to get on
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: the show and we've been like they're not going Like
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: being like, they're too famous or whatever. Be like, nah,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: that's not going to happen. I'm like, send the email anyway.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: And they come back and they're like, yeah, keen. I'm like, well,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: fuck me.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Imagine if we never sent it.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah. You know, I swear half my life has
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: just been like, fuck around and find out. And it's
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: a good vibe.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: You know, so, and this is like definitely a thing
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: that I would want our community and just women to
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: do more because like, women need to have more audacity.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: They need to have more confidence. They need to take
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: up more space and embracing the lucky girl syndrome as
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: much as like, I do think it like, you know,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: saying the term lucky girl, it kind of gets put
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: into that pool of, you know, girl dinner and like
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: that vibe that it's all just something like frivolous and fun.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: But like, think of how powerful you could be if
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: you literally went through every single day thinking you were lucky. Yeah. Like,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: What doors would you open that you wouldn't necessarily open
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: if you didn't have that mentality? So if you're like,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: I'm lucky good things happen to me, good things are
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: going to happen. Yeah. Because you're going to put yourself
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: out there because you have that mindset.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: And even after three restaurants telling you nowhere fall. The
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: fourth one will let you in and you'll be like,
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: what an amazing.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Dinner it was meant to be.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: And then you'll be like, oh, and the ragu pasta,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: like how good was that? Oh, so lucky we got
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: into that one and not the three before because it
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: was so yum. Yeah, exactly. Lucky girls.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: Lucky girls.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I love lucky girls. Well, that is a wrap. For
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: today's episode of Two Broke Cheeks. But I would love
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: to hear from you, Cheeks. How do you make your
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: own luck? Tell me. I would like to do it
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, exactly. We will be taking notes. My
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: ears are open. Okay, Cheekies. Love you.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: Thanks for having us in your ear holes.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: We love to be here.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: Go watch Just My Luck.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And listen to Lucky by Britney Spears. Yeah.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: Bye.