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Sober Talk SA - ChrisW2 · Sober Talk SA

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  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
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  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
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  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot AU.
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women. We share the experience,
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  strength and hope with each other.
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  They must solve their come problems and help others to
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  recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for
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  membership is a desire to stop drinking.
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  There are no Jews at fees for a membership.
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  We are self support through our own contributions.
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  Is not allied with any second denomination, politics,
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  organization or institution. Does not wish to engage in any
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  controversy, neither endorses or oppose any causes.
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  Our primary purpose is steer soap and help other Alcoholics
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  achieve sobriety. Hi, my name is Chris.
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  I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  I was affected by alcohol long before I picked up a drink.
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  My father was a violent drunk. I shan't call an alcoholic.
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  That would be for him to decide should he shall be alive.
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  He would call Merry about drunken.
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  And the rows would start and many and I I wanted to kill him
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  for what he was doing to my mum. And on many occasions my mum
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  would pack all the kids up and leave.
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  And you know, I could never fathom out why, why she kept
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  going back. And it wasn't till many years
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  after, when I was sober, that I realized she still loved him and
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  and never occurred to me that. Maybe after an upbringing like
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  that, that I shouldn't drink. I picked up a drink at an early
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  age, around about 14 or 15. You know, I I did what up most
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  young young men that young boys at that time did I I picked up a
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  drink, pick them a cigarette and started chasing girls.
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  And I found all three I'm at my my to be wife at when I was 15.
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  And we partied hard, you know, we, we, we, we started going to
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  nightclubs and things like that at an early age.
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  And you know, I did an apprenticeship and was right
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  after doing during that apprenticeship, you'd finally
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  sit in the club, not, not back at work, you know.
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  And my life was starting to revolve without alcohol.
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  You know, if my friends want to go to where?
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  The alcohol wasn't going to be I'd always try and turn them
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  back to at least ending up where we are always going to be and
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  and the sneaking that started in my life, you know when it was my
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  turn to buy around the drinks I'd go up to the bar and I'd
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  order a quick one for myself first while aboard the rest one
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  I'd be drinking that one the the age of 20 we got married and.
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  We we emigrated to Australia and I arrived on December the 13th
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  1974 at 6:30 in the morning and we met my brother in Sydney and
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  the first thing he did was took me to an early opera and I
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  thought I'd come to paradise that pubs at 6:30 in the morning
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  in Sydney at wonderful. We both have eventually found a
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  bit of work and started partying and so I've made a few friends
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  and then I became a drunk for the party.
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  But the group behind the end of the night, you find me either
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  sleep in the corner, drunk, passed out or made a nuisance of
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  myself. You know, it wasn't always fun
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  to be around Chris at the end of the night, so.
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  After about five or six years my wife was starting to make noises
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  about starting the family and my sister had moved to Adelaide and
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  we had come here for a visit and she had just purchased the house
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  and we like the cost of the price of the housing and decided
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  to move and try and shuttle down here.
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  And shortly afterwards, my my first son came along and I was
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  no no longer. Had the money to go to the
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  bottle shop and just pick and choose whatever I fancied.
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  I had to downgrade my expectations.
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  Like a lot of us I I went on the home brew cake and I got quite
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  good at that, making making home brew beer.
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  When I would leave in the bottle long enough to become beer, you
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  know I'd drink enough to be in the bottle three or four days
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  and I'd start off with. What I'd say was one decent
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  bottle. I'd buy one from my bottle cup
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  and that got the taste. After that I didn't really care
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  what I drank. I drank.
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  I drank this home brew and that was awful stuff.
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  But if I left it the bottle, it became OK and and then my
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  drinking became a series of switching my my brand of alcohol
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  to to try and. I hide the fact I was drinking
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  from my wife and family and after getting fed up with a
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  growing mess and whatever, I switched the nice big box of
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  wine you put in the fridge. You know, I thought that was
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  almost so good because my wife couldn't see the level going
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  down and I could sneak a glass of wine, whatever.
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  She wasn't looking. And that went on for quite some
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  time and my wife mentioned that. We may be spending too much on
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  on wine and not enough on things for the kids or food, whatever.
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  And my solution? I'd say, yeah, so we'll we'll
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  cut down darling. But my real solution was to have
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  a spare cast dashed in the bedroom so whenever she went
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  out, I'd pull the bun out, the one in the in the fridge and I'd
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  top it up the one in the bedroom and.
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  I thought I was being clever doing that because I could
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  didn't have to buy the same brand the wine there's to swap
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  the boxes around. And then sometimes I forget
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  which type of wine we're drinking.
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  Then makes more sour easing and Sweet wine with a dry wine and
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  and Sheen tell a grass of it and say what's this?
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  It's not what's unbelievable. That's all right, just drink it.
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  Just drink it. And then along the track a bit I
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  I heard you couldn't smell vodka and you couldn't taste it and I
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  thought that's a shot. I'll drink that no bail or I've
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  been drinking. So I'd I'd have my vodka and
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  maybe a glass of wine with tea, and I'd tell my wife that it was
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  a glass of wine that was making me bounce along the walls as I
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  as I was having to go down the passage here and.
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  Then said it was that after having one drink my eyes light
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  up and and people know straight away.
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  But I couldn't be honest about it.
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  I just had had to lie and and which was the insanity of
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  alcoholism, you know, I couldn't couldn't tell the truth and you
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  know after after many years of this year, I was.
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  I was retrenched from a job I was doing and at the end towards
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  the end of my drinking and that left to led to me being a house
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  with husband for two years and I can relate to some of the ladies
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  stories. You're not tiny or my drinking
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  became a system of rewards for for my my my housework became a
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  system of rewards for for for a drink.
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  I do a lot of washing that was worth a drink.
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  A bit of vacuum. And that was worth a drink.
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  Midday Louie would come on and I was sure the ladies would sit
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  down and watch watch the movie for lunch.
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  So I'd have my lunch and watch the movie and my lunch just
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  happened to be another drink or two.
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  And at 3:00 I had to go and pick the kids up from school.
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  And school was only a 5 minute walk away.
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  But I had to jump in my car no matter what condition I was in
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  during the day. And I'm going pick the kids up
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  and at the beginning I'd. Walk out the car to the school
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  and pick the kids up from the classrooms.
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  But at the end of it they had to come and find me as I was
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  sitting in the car drinking more, more wine.
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  Sometimes my elder son tells me he was terrified to get the car
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  because he could see her and I could barely see across.
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  The moment that's where we're drinking took me and had got me
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  in the end that I. I came up with this plan that I
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  thought that I needed six weeks off drinking to to break the
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  cycle. I knew I had to break the cycle.
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  I didn't know what it was about. But this I had this, this magic
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  idea was six weeks. I thought I got locked up by I
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  broke my leg and ended up in hospital for six weeks.
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  That would do. And at that time.
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  Whenever I was out driving the car I would have a stubby, a
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  beer between my legs and then he had time as I saw a police
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  officer on the motorbike coming up behind me.
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  I put my hand over the top of the stubby so he couldn't see it
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  and I'd be itching to show him so he could lock me up for six
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  weeks. But I was never, never game
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  enough to try and I never broke my legs.
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  I never ended up. Possibly.
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  I moved on for that solution and I thought my only real solution
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  was was suicide. And back then I thought that if
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  I committed suicide, my wife and kids could go on with their
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  lives and I'd be out of the misery I was in.
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  And the truth was really that it was so all about me.
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  It was about me. I just wanted me to be out of
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  the misery stuff. My wife and kids, you know, I
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  was still a husband to my wife, not a very good one at that
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  time. Now so my father to show that I
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  was prepared to leave behind and unfortunately it didn't happen
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  you know I I after yet my wife had determined that was that's
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  what I was going to do and I went out the shed selected the
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  big strong rope picked up my best friend my bottle of vodka
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  and I was off out the front door to.
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  So you find a tree suitable for time a rope to and if you ask me
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  why the telephone jumped off the wall into my hand and I found
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  myself being turned the air member, I would have said I
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  don't know right and the phones were on the wall man.
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  This year member asked me to go to a meeting out at 2 Wells
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  within the following week and I agreed and he said he'd pick me
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  up and. To get me to the meeting.
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  But by 637 o'clock I was hoping he wouldn't come.
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  I was desperate for a drink but they can.
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  Thankfully he can. And he took me out of the
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  meeting and I was going out to meeting and I stopped drinking.
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  All the fun times will stop and I I realized that all the fun
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  times I've stopped a long long time before that night.
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  They were just like Al lying to me and I went out that meeting.
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  That was a very small meeting room and I can remember all the
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  fierces of the people in the room, even though it's a long
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  time ago. But I can't remember one word
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  that was said actually during the meeting.
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  But during the smoke or break and the talk after the meeting,
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  I found happy so by people nashing and enjoying themselves.
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  And that blew me away, that people could, could have fun
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  without alcohol. I thought you always needed a
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  drink to to get you in the party mood, but you didn't.
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  And at that meeting, that was organized from the guy and pick
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  me up and take me to the Saturday evening meeting and I
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  had had another plan that my wife was going to a club camp
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  that weekend and I hadn't planned that I was going to have
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  a. Go on a Bender to end all
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  benders and come Monday morning I wasn't the need to drink
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  again. Yeah, that's right.
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  I'll see at this meeting it was organized from the guy people on
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  a Saturday night. On a Saturday morning I'll just
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  have one drink to steady my nerves a bit and maybe I'll have
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  a drink after the meeting and then I'll still go down my Rd.
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  with the bend at end or vendors, which well as I heard.
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  And one drink for that goal is not very good because it started
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  the craving and by the time the guy come to pick me up and take
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  me the meeting, I was pretty well drunk and my crazy head
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  kicked in saying I probably shouldn't go to meeting drunk
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  and throw me out to long walk home.
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  I had no money left to get a taxi.
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  I think home from where he's going to take me.
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  None of my crazy thoughts came true when women still put their
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  hands out there and they said keep coming back, shall not get
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  better. The following day was the last.
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  That was the last day I had been, you know.
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  The following day was the first day of my sobriety.
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  The members were loved me back to hell, you know, I went to
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  lots and lots of meetings and then.
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  You know, slowly but surely my life turned around.
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  You know, I was unemployed at that time and they told me not
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  to rush around and get a job and just to concentrate on my
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  sobriety and at work wonders for me.
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  I one day at a time my life got better and eventually I did get
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  back to work and my wife had by then had joined Allen on and.
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  We were both LED into the service, and service is a very
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  big part of our fellowship. To to give back, to help other
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  people is great, you know? It really is.
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  And I like nothing bad to see somebody coming through the
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  doors, sick and sorry and shivering and shaving and slowly
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  but surely see the lights turn on and then get the life back
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  together, you know? Get the health back together and
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  hopefully their family back here.
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  It's a wonderful experience and seeing somebody recover from our
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  knowledge and you know I have a very good life today.
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  You know both me and my wife have been involved in service
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  which is still this in good stead.
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  We we we both are heavily involved in our fellowships.
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  It's it's a wonderful experience and.
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  In my private life, you know, I have 4 wonderful grandkids, you
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  know, 22 beautiful children, 4 wonderful grandkids.
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  The the grandkids have never seen me drink and I never want
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  them to, you know, that's the wonderful experience, you know,
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  and I have a good life. Today I I in my work career I
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  changed jobs several times and. And managed to get through that
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  sort of experience. I didn't like the changes, but I
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  with the help of the fellowship I managed, you know, and I
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  didn't need to resort to a drink.
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  You know, that's the beauty of this thing that there's always
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  somebody had talked to. There's always somebody done
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  something that before me that I can ask for advice from.
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  You know if I wait, if I'm willing to you know and you know
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  we've retired these days and. We do a bit of travelling around
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  and you know we've been overseas a few times and we've done
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  meetings and and Scotland and England and then Singapore.
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  You know it's wherever I go the the scholarship here.
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  So that's that's one of the first things I do when I'm
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  planning a holiday is to it's to see where the meetings are
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  because. And this is my medicine to my
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  alcoholism and I need to take this medicine on a regular
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  basis. Otherwise the chance I'll
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  forget. If I forget my my uncle will
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  come back and say I'm not an alcoholic why don't you try a
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  drink? And I don't want that
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  experience. You know, I don't want that
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  experience. I I keep coming to meetings and
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  and and the hope I can help somebody else that's over and to
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  keep myself. So it's.
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  It's an easy thing to do. You know if somebody had cancer
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  and they're told by coming to a meeting or two every week they
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  could get rid of their cancer that come willingly, they'd be
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  running into her. But but I've always so keep on
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  trying to manage alcohol and unfortunately I can't.
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  And I today I understand I can't and my wife would just invest in
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  the caravan we we're down. A couple of grand nomads
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  experienced a bit of this wonderful country and that's a
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  sober sober trip, you know, for me.
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  And she's really so has a drink. She's a she's not like oh, I can
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  that that doesn't worry me today.
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  For the people doing, it's not my worry.
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  It's just and just as long as I don't drink, you know, it's
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  fine. And we just spent six weeks in
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  Queensland and managed to get to a few meetings and there was a
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  couple of. A lot of weekends we attended it
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  was really good fun you know really good fun that we we we
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  like to to get around and and and meet new people and talk
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  about recovery and and and and do recovery and things.
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  You know tomorrow I I I see this not to to brag.
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  I think I will be celebrating right 30th here in sobriety and.
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  It's an amazing fellowship. You know, you can you can come
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  here and have a good life. You know, to I tomorrow morning
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  I get up, I'll know what I did the night before.
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  And that's a wonderful experience.
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  I tend to know what I do on a daily basis.
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  And today my life is very simple.
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  I I just put around the garden, I go over a walk somewhere and
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  I'm eternally grateful for this wonderful fellowship.
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  And I'll add me a little story in there, and I'll just end with
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  the Pay your God, go with you. We have local meetings for the
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  full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00,
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  Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Wednesday is Elizabeth E at
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  8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00 and Friday is Salisbury at
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  8:00. There's a meeting at Devron Park
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  at 12:00, and on Sunday there's a meeting in Salisbury at 7:00
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  and many of the meetings in the area.
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  For details of your local meetings, please phone 1300
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  double 22222. And once again, if anyone you
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  know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
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  Anonymous on 1300 Double 22222. The website isaasa.org dot AU.